#idk. part of being poor is knowing that those with much more money than you look down at you and think to themselves

[antihibikase]

Crazy how I really only started sharing most of my irl matters here because I felt like I had to justify the posts regarding my horrific mood swings, bouts of depression, why I'm always on edge, etc. It's not really because of pride or anything- I just really know how easy it is for people to see me ask for money, and take a look at what my hobbies are, and come to a conclusion that I must be faking what I say to get money for toys/plushies. I'm not. The money I get from paypal as a result of my posts asking for help always goes to my parents- for bills, for food, and until a couple of months ago, for overdue rent. The only other times I asked for money for myself are because I was either starving (and again, that money goes to my family; it would kill me if only I ate and they didn't), or that one time my tooth was hurting so bad I couldn't sleep or eat at all.

The only time I use money to buy toys/plushies is because it's either allowance I saved up, or it was from commissions; not emergency posts. And even then, I always have savings put aside just in case my family needs it.

[lasirenatarot]

What you need to hear right now.

/general messages, timeless/

🌟PAC READING🌟

Pick a perfume:

NOTE: some messages are quite specific, but might help someone who needs to hear them❤️ so keep that in mind, not everything will resonate for all, it is a general reading after all.

Pile 1:

Poison girl.

Cards that fell; 3 of pentacles, ace of pentacles, 4 of wands reversed. Gift, pleasure seekers cards from an oracle deck.

- I think you might loose a sum of money or you recently have lost some, another case may be that your financial situation might have not been the best recently and you kind of felt helpless? (Idk why im getting that). However, your financial situation has a huge potential for improvement as you may get a present (either an item or a sum of money from someone) which may ease your financial worries. This present may even help you enjoy your life more as you will not have the « weight » of worrying about the near future and how you’re gonna make ends meet.

- Another possible scenario instead of getting a gift may be getting a higher salary than anticipated which can help you make up for the recent times of struggle.

- be focused on whatever you are working on ( studies, job, sports etc.. ) DO NOT loose your focus, this may make you miss a big opportunity if you are not consistent. AND the opposite: if you continue on working, being consistent and putting in the effort you may receive better things/opportunities than you have even imagined. It all depends on you.

- for those who have recently met or have started having hopes of starting a relationship with a romantic interest: this person may not have the intetions of being in a serious relationship with you at this point of time. Be careful and seek your OWN best interest, not theirs.

Pile 2:

Baccarat rouge.

Cards: 10wands, 8wands, 5 wands reversed, judgement reversed.

- Sadly for this pile we are starting a bit negatively; you may have recently experienced a burnout or you are quite overworked due to having too much different stuff to do and take care of. What you need to know at this moment is that not everything is your responsibility: people’s actions, their poor life choices or how they live their life. You might be a person who (not exactly likes, but more of feels the need to help others at the expense of your own mental well being/emotions/mood even. You may simply just be used of being the “problem solver” & emotional trashbin for others) likes helping others, always be there for them and listen when they have struggles, but what you may not see is that by always being there for others u may create in them what I’ve read psychologists call “learned incompetence”. Basically by doing a task for someone (that was not yours to begin with) and letting them vent nonstop u’ve made them incompetent to deal with their own issues bc they may think you will always be there to fix it for them. Main message for this pile; prioritise yourself even if this means cutting ppl off because they drain you emotionally, not every person deserves explanation for how you decide to react to their behavior. Don’t be part of confrontations.

Extra message: beware of people who try to play “saints” in your life, such who have victim complex and always have a problem with everyone.

Everyone gets what they deserve in the end.

- After a tough emotional period your situation may quickly turn to positive and joyful. You may meet new friends.

Good luck🙏🏻

Pile 3:

Lost cherry.

- Very soon you might receive news you’ve been waiting for a long time. May be in a form of email/letter or a friend telling you. You may have felt like you’ve “lost yourself” a bit recently and after receiving these news you will definitely feel more at peace. Some may have been thru a breakup recently, you may finally start feeling better and more like yourself.

- you may meet a potential love interest soon or if you already have someone concrete in mind you communicate with (don’t be delulu having random crushes) you may actually begin a romantic relationship with them ( the energy I get is quite positive).

- you may need to follow “tradition” or already tried methods or consulting with a wise person if you need help with someting. (Or simply a tip)

Pile 4:

Hypnotic poison.

- You may reunite with an old friend soon. (Im particularly getting one you may know from school, but may not applicable for all)

- You may end or will end soon a chapter of your life in order to make space for better things to come.

- You may find understanding/help from someone you have not expected, while at the same time be dissapointed of someone you had trust in and expected to be there for you.

- No matter the circumstances try not to be too cocky and egoistical. You may currently be very motivated for success and have recently gained a lot of confidence due to something in your life. Keep yourself grounded and do not forget where you come from.

That was all from today’s PAC. I apologise for not including the name of the cards which fell for all the piles but I accidentally put them back in the deck and forgot to write them lol..Hope you enjoyed it tho!!

Photos are from pinterest; all credits to their respective owners.

Leave a comment/feedback if it resonated, share and follow for more.

- La Sirena💋

[cherie-doll]

Could we please have a part 2 on the vampire cod men + victorian era + vampires.

Maybe with reader moving to the countryside abd being the towns new school teacher instead?

yep! link to first part is here for anyone who hasn't read it

i rlly wanna write a whole fic off of this plot i've built up bc i have SO MUCH LORE but idk how it'll fare

𓆩♡𓆪 Headcanon: Them As Vampires #2

 ๋࣭♱ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

Price

The ripples of hysteria that had been caused by what the people believed were vampires preying on vulnerable people could barely be felt in the countryside, he had resided here for some time, surely there was no need for caution here

He was respected among neighbors, honored for his service in the past and now lived rather peacefully under protection of the wealth he had acquired in his youth

You had become an interesting individual who had dismantled his idyllic life, you were youthful, so full of vigor and life being around the children and instructing them

He sensed maturity and sagacity from you, and you revived what he thought had been dormant for a long time; lust and violent devotion, the need to possess and protect you

And passing through the final threshold you'll see he is actually the gentlest, using his many years of wisdom to guide you, convincing you to settle with him and despite the tumult you've found yourself in by being the muse of multiple vampires, he'll provide all the support and help you need to pursue your passion of teaching

Now, when accepting a vampire's offer, you must be very careful, for you may end up indebted with them and their requests may seem unreasonable, but he is not cruel, he only requires you to lend him your love for one lifetime, to save him from his many long years of solitude, that's all he asks of you

Ghost

Here was the worst of the unsalvageable, the damned, the condemned and the poor, forgotten souls of the departed beings trapped on earth, he was barely a person; a remnant and a corpse

He despises himself due to the curse he was to live with for eternity lest something put him out of his misery, the cycle of turning others into that he was; a monster, a corpse, a despicable creature

Yet the first moment he saw you, he knew he needed you, that overpowering sense of going after what called for him, he wanted you to understand his pain, of being different from everyone else because of an ugly past

It's not like you to be frightened but the scare he gave you on the first encounter was one that could have had you turning away from him had you not seen him in a moment of weakness, him doubled over, pain overtaking him, in his wild and crazed state you saw how forlorn his eyes were, half-starved was he and all you could do was observe his erratic breathing

you want to know his thoughts, you don't want him to hide any longer and to live as he's never lived before

He too, is drawn in by your soft nature, in this isolated pocket of earth, hidden from the bustling of crowds in town, you have all the time in the world to heal him, all you did was show sympathy and he took and he learned to not seize it as if you were to never offer it again but ask for it in return

Soap

He considers his bloodline irrelevant to his value, disregarding the riches his family has wanted to hand down for him to manage but he knows that as the eldest and with an eternity ahead of him, he'll be held down by earthly possessions from doing what he truly desires

He'll be more than pleased to donate some of that money to you without his family's knowledge so you can use it to give the poor children an opportunity to study without their having to pay, he knows a good natured person when he sees one, you're more good than all those bloody guilty and deceitful men who can walk by a starving child and only tip their hat in greeting

Just as he spends a great amount of time studying plants he finds himself wanting to learn more about you, observing every detail and habit of yours as if another species to learn about, he wishes he could take you home like he has done with many of his plants and keep you under his watchful eyes constantly

Stepping into his rather large estate can prove difficult due to the overgrown plants stretching and overtaking the place, they have crawled up the walls and creep into cracks which can easily get you lost if you were to enter alone

He'll give over any amount of money if you agree to have dinner with him as he gets rather lonely in his grand place he's inherited, he was to get a wife along with the passing down of the estate but he declined saying he already had his eye set on someone

Gaz

He's the most passion driven soul you've come across, his entire being emits warmth and sincerity, never would you have guessed he was half cold had he not told you so

His douceur nature is what attracts you to him, more tightly bound is this simple gesture than honeyed words of seduction which are commonly used by vampires for their victims, but his human half does not allow him to be completely consumed by carnal desire

Despite his better judgement he spends many evenings with you past what is proper of "good company" only, knowing sooner or later you'll grow curious at the mask he wears to hide what truly pains his soul, you seem to so easily read his emotions from his work as an artist

It captivates you how beautifully he can compose a dulcet song or write the pains of his melancholy on bloodstained paper, you want to mend the anguished heart within him before his sanity deteriorates and the madness awakes and takes away the human in him struggling to live with this feeling of alienation from being different from both halves

The only solace he knew before you was getting lost in the hills of this quiet countryside scenery and taking in all of what is good for the tortured senses, standing in silence to marvel at the moving clouds and sky, but now he is glad to find someone who is not only passionate about learning but also teaches the young children

Roach

How cruel had fate been to thrust him into this unchangeable course for the remainder of his days, it is terrible knowing there is something sinister living inside of you just waiting to claw out and shed your old skin, when he just wishes to live his idyllic life which is why he's even moved out to the countryside in the first place, town is no place for him, especially not a vampire

He wishes for a somewhat normal life, he sees you can your ability to be loving without being afraid of of the repercussions, he seeks the very things that may destroy him in the end if he does not learn to proceed with discretion

He is a fledgling; his lack of expertise and experience prevent him from going on with his life normally, finding it extremely hard to find the rhythm of this merry go round without the help of the sire who turned him this beast of blood

The fear upsets his heart as he ruminates on it but with time and your showing him how to prevent it from getting to him release his mind from the prison he's set for himself, he devotes his care to helping as best as he can to others

He finds a lively imagination that he can use to his benefit and it is this animated spirit that demonstrates how much he wants to live despite the cold in his body

Alejandro

He's felt a growing need to seek sanctuary in things that other vampires are unlikely to show an interest in, while others may seek riches and wealth he seeks power through ways people may be less heedful of

Just like him, humans will seek the approval of something, someone greater than their kind, and no matter how many times he is thrown away into the abyss to be forgotten he will dig through and find a way to live and make something out of himself

He just wants to avoid being forgotten about, and he is especially interested in how you are able to so easily make a place for yourself in this little countryside small town without making so much of a commotion, you quietly slipped and fell into a constant pace without clawing at anyone or having to bare your teeth

But for him to know this he must first step down from the podium he's positioned himself upon and learn to live in control of his sinful nature, the recollection of his nature and controlling it is still something he must come to terms with, especially if he's outside of the strict environment he's hidden away in for years

In time he learns to treasure those moments that will wither away with the people if he does not let them sink into his mind as he cradles your reassuring hand in his palm, enveloping your hand to remember the everlasting feeling of what amity must feel like

Rudy

He'll gently hold and savor every moment with you in his hands because chances like these only come once in an eternity, with a life like yours which is so fleeting you must allow him to admire and keep this to himself, it is not jealousy if he worries about you

Your unchanging smile that beams a little brighter for him than the others is more than enough to prove to him that there is light in the world he has seen so enclosed in darkness and seclusion, that there is no reason to hide away like all his other companions do

It is like a new world unfolding in his mind as he gets to know you, how marvelous it feels when you allow him to gaze into your eyes full of liveliness unlike the dimmed eyes he's been accustomed to seeing, you are alleviating to him like the cool shade on an overbearing summer's day

To him, it is such a beautiful thing to witness life from a human's perspective, because life for them is so fleeting and fast anything that happens is worth waiting for, unlike the same routine based lifestyle he's had to put up with for he doesn't even know how long, he only wishes to know simplicity

He is glad to finally have found someone as deserving of love to value nurturing he had kept within him for years

Phillip Graves

Will you choose the man everyone advises you not to go with? Even the undead seem to avoid him and he has few who outright declare to know him, obviously against your better judgement you will because you know no better, he has that tantalizing manner of luring you in

In a moment where you are alone, he finds you, soon as your eyes meet there already is a whole evening's worth of conversing said between the both of you and it's as if he is able to easily control your inquisitiveness to lead you astray from everyone who wishes to protect you and walk right into his arms

"It's all lies, darling" he whispers into your ear when you express worry of what others may think, truly you mustn't believe them, they just don't like outsiders, and he's been one in every place he's been to, seemingly hated or disliked by everyone except you, you make him feel welcome in your home, or so he says

There is now a tether between you and him, a bond unable to be broken so you may never want to be apart from him, why when he has everything you need in this life and the next?

Makarov

It seems death itself follows you no matter where you go, once someone in the family has been in close contact with a vampire, it is hard for the vampire to leave the members of the family alone, for it hopes to find another impressionable heart to overpower and you have been the one with the susceptible heart

He asks you to ignore all the ignorant fools, they're far too brash to bask in your kindness that you give too easily, he is by far the one you are scolded at for even thinking of going near, there have been many rumors of what he does to those who are too naive, those poor victims who have been discarded, their veins sucked dry

He could easily make you surrender completely to him, but you have placed yourself under his care so benevolently that he has felt no need to forcefully subject you to him, with your gentle caress you have made him tremble and quiver out of what can be the closest thing to love as a vampire can experience

And it is with this fragility that you have found in his heart, that you now are in control of him, what happens next is determined whether you will let it taint you by reciprocating the manner in which he has approached you or will you show it purely

Keegan

He has no interest in what humans have got to offer, he finds their existence pitiful if all their efforts are in vain for they do not live very long, he holds a certain hatred for those who are greedy and succumb to every want of theirs

Yet, you arrive without any evil in your heart and you present yourself without filter to hide your intentions, he is curious of this when most of what he's known is greed from others, he keeps mostly to himself and is rarely involved in the affair of others

Still, curiosity is a vampire's greatest weakness, he stalks you nightly to know your persona, he is there to see your disposition in helping others, your kind heart when helping the children, you've displayed more fondness than a mother

In the light of the moon he becomes aware of his senses, the turmoil soon to brew under the stars that will watch as he divulges under susurrus that catch softly in the wind and drift into your room at night through the window; the whispers of confession that you don't quite catch while awake but rather find a way to manifest in your dreams, not sure if they are a nightmare or of a terrifying reality

His deep eyes that catch the light from the candles illuminating the room as he silently observes you

König

Despite the relationship between their countries, there still seems to be some sort of tension between König and the other vampires, the alliance they once had had begun weakening and he is distrusted, just when he is ready to completely untangle himself from this mess you drew him in

Gathering all the violent tension within him and burning it away, letting his rage dwindle and water it down to nothing in the pure night where no one can observe and reprove of him

You soak him in unfathomable amounts of amour and he does not find it within him to bite back, his breath catches in his throat at this feeling he cannot name, he can barely imitate you as a meager way of loving back

You sacrifice all the love you can give for him and he marvels at how you are able with so little you have received in life to give it up to an immortal being who's lived for so long yet received so little

He holds your hand to his face, closing his eyes to remember these moments of a mortal and to not let them be erased by the wind which can so easily take

Horangi

Your curiosity shall surely be the end of you, you spoke to a gentleman at a function for one night and now he's always lurking around you whether you like it or not, you don't even know of it

A vampire's adoration can go to great lengths when they find a human they are infatuated with, other than this he has no reasonable motives, he wishes you would accept his advances, only a vampire can love you forever, he has no difficulty entertaining you with promises exchanged at midnight

This nocturnal romance which tarnishes you, whether it destroys you for nothing or everything you are worth, leaving a deep scar within your heart which you can trace with your fingertips as your ache for him to return

You venture the uneven terrain where angels fear to tread, along the long desolate hallways of an uninhabited home where no other dares to enter, you maintain there waiting and trusting that he'll return every so often to adore you like always, you may go mad but it is something you look forward in the cycle of everyday life

Nikto

In order to escape deep solitude that has turned into loneliness he takes to watching over you like a butterfly on your shoulder when he cannot be there during the day, he seeks the pulsating of your heart, the tremors that run through your bodies when together

You don't draw back in fear like the others do, and this was the first time he was truly loved, in all your fantasy, you always knew he wasn't a monster, he could love, he could be tender and gentle, there was no need for desire or selfishness to consume him entirely, there was a time for him to live the life he deserved, the one you showed him

Still, there is a darkness he cannot fight that comes when listening to your tranquil breaths, the temptation he feels growing and gnawing within him to drink and confine you to the grasps of everlasting immortality, because it truly is terrible to love something that death can take away from him

He can already see the image forming in his mind; the fog that comes from the shaky breaths escaping your lips, the rise and fall of your chest stained with droplets of blood, letting you go cold for a moment before you join him in eternalness

He can only contemplate this as he watches the sun rise over the hillsides through the curtains that shield him from the rays of light

[3liza]

seriously though from my experience dealing with other rich middle aged men I can tell you this right here, what we are witnessing right now, is the root of much evil in the world.

guys like Matt own and run everything that's privatized and larger than a certain level of scale. these guys get put in a steel tunnel from childhood onward into this weird little knotted ball of insecurity and entitlement, with no time spent during their youth in developing any interpersonal skills at all that aren't "talking slightly too loudly at a corporate party". I've worked as a domme, and a ton of these guys start hiring dominatrices when they get to Matt's age because they're unable to maintain anyone's attention without paying for it anyway and are so crippled with insecurity they can't be honest with women in their lives if they have any. this doesn't help them much because inauthentic human connection makes things worse. exposing even mild, normalized fetishes make them shut down and lash out, but it's not just a sex thing, it's their whole lives. I've watched so many of them hit their 40s, have a bunch of money and a little power, and realize all the poor degenerates they've spent their lives treating like a spectacle or a fantasy are the ones actually having fun, and who other people actually enjoy spending time around. this is pure speculation on my part, idk anything about his personal life and am not trying to find out. the posts are enough to diagnose a dozen extremely pressing problems he will have to painstakingly deconstruct in $10,000 Ayahuasca retreats to get anywhere.

and I wouldn't be so critical about their personal failings as a class of people if they didn't make those failings everyone else's problem. they are fully aware they are fucking up but have always been able to get immediate gratification by standing still and screaming until someone brings them exactly what they need. they know they could use their money to put people in houses or feed them, they deal with this by just not thinking about it. no one has ever genuinely liked them and they're aware of this, often including their own parents. they are frustrated with women. they have zero creative outlets and no skills. even if they have relationships they don't fall in love or experience limerance. all they do is make money or handle money, they are incapable of performing real labor and are alienated from the concept of labor itself so they invent weird orthorexias and compulsive exercise schedules to feel like they're performing labor. a lot of them develop substance problems because it alleviates some of the crippling inhibition and self doubt, but that causes more problems. some of them are narcissists or sociopaths which helps them cope with the extreme isolation but a lot of them arent, and just constantly afflicted with the same problems people get in solitary confinement or being the pariah at a high school. any of them could opt out of all this crap at any time and simply choose not to. these guys are ruining everything.

[yusuke-of-valla]

The thing about conflicting headcanons re: Yusuke's financial situation post Madarame (ie is he actually poor, does he make money but spends it all on art because he has poor impulse control, is Kosei a money laundering scheme etc.) is that like Yusuke's financial situation is written to facilitate a running gag so it's not consistent.

The school gives him an allowance, but he's also being charged for utilities despite being on a scholarship and so showers in the cold and works in the dark and worries about the electricity bill.

We know he bought those lobsters that one time but realistically how much of his money is being spent on supplies for class vs non-necessities he feels inspired by? Because canvases are expensive and if there's a certain size expectation/requirement you can't save by getting a smaller canvas. So when someone says "he just spends all his money on art" what are we really talking about?

By Strikers he's very excited to have money from an art contest to spend on his friends but was that true during the course of the base game when he was in his slump? Because I have a hard time believing he was even entering competitions

The details don't really make sense because most of these details come from jokes that are never elaborated on into cohesive worldbuilding.

And even if you want to say the issue is just he's got bad spending habits, that's still a situation that would require intervention by an adult probably because uh, no shit?

Yeah of COURSE Yusuke is completely unprepared to live on his own and is incidentally starving himself, he was raised by a dude who convinced him that the only purpose he served was helping his Sensei. In what way would it have benefitted Madarame to prepare Yusuke in any way to live on his own or know how to balance finances, he actively wanted Yusuke reliant on him, because that's how abuse works.

I'm pretty sure Yusuke has never even conceptualized living on his own, and that's not even adding in the detail of Nakanohara being concerned he'd commit suicide if he stayed with Madarame. NO SHIT HE'D BE BAD AT IT? People don't just emerge from the womb capable of money management

In that situation is the proper response really "oh that Yusuke, he just doesn't understand money, it's not a big deal"?

And like regardless, he IS still starving. Like the extent to which you think it's self inflicted aside, he's a 16 year old who will constantly talk about skipping meals and eating sprouts from the park and that sucks. Someone should maybe like talk to him about the root cause of that!

TL;DR: Yusuke's financial situation doesn't make sense because it's not supposed to, so it kind of doesn't matter to me how people headcanon the nature of it, and I fundamentally think it's incorrect to say one option of "poor vs has bad impulse spending habits" is more correct than the other because arguably they both raise the question of "holy shit why is no one stepping in here" if you think about it all the way through

PS. Also I wrote this whole thing because I saw a tweet that was like "one big misconception i see about yusukes character and how he’s treated is people saying “Why doesn’t Joker/Haru give him money when he’s poor?” and the real fact is that he’s not poor (post madarame). He’s just EXTREMELY irresponsible with his spending and spends it all on art," and I was like "idk if that's a misconception really I think a case can be made for both because it doesn't make sense" and then AFTER I wrote it I remebered that I have repository of every Yusuke scene uploaded into my brain and was like "wait if you call Yusuke poor in PQ2 during the Akihiko/Shinjiro/Yusuke quest he'll agree" and then there's also the scene in Tactica where Marie calls him dirt poor and he doesn't disagree with the poor part, just that she insulted dirt

So like my point still stands but I'd ESPECIALLY not call it a misconception to say he's poor when canon material supports it.

[twopoppies]

hi! im a new larrie and ive been reading a lot of your and other accounts masterposts but there are still some things im kinda confused about.

regarding bbg, im really confused on why B and her family would even agree to it in the first place. like when (or if) bbg ends and its revealed F isn't actually L's son, B and her family are going to receive sooo much hate so idk why they would even agree to be portrayed as the "villains" in L's life.

when B and her family were shitting on L and saying he was like his bio dad, was that also part of their plan? I feel like those things come from genuine anger and idk why they would agree to make L look bad.

some stunts still confuse me. like with holivia, she was in a relationship with Jason and the media made it seem like he was desperate to get her back, so was he also willingly participating in this stunt? if he was, I have hard time figuring out why lol. or with Caroline flack, she received a lot of hate bc of their age difference so why would they agree?

these are just some of the main things ive been wondering lol. thanks!

Hi darling. I'm glad to hear you're looking into things and thinking critically. I'll answer your questions, but these are my opinions. None of us know for sure why any of these people did anything.

I think when Briana and her family agreed to this, it was originally just to make some fast money. I really don't think it was meant to even get to the point of having an actual baby being used, and it certainly wasn't meant to last for 10+ years. I've said I think Louis doubling down on being a dad is because of some sort of legal issues that have complicated the matter. I think the Clarks/Briana are caught up in the same problem. I believe that they were initially sold the idea that Briana would be the baby mama and then Louis would say he took a paternity test and oh, it's not his kid. Louis would have his profile raised and Briana/the Clarks would get a bunch of money (the Clarks appear to have filed for bankruptcy the year BBG started, and Briana clearly spent all of her money on plastic surgery).

The Clark family and Briana were loose canons and posted all sorts of ridiculous stuff in the first five years. I don't think anyone was really in control of what they were doing. Certainly not Louis, who was pretending BBG didn't exist, and not Simon/Syco/Sony because they started the whole thing to tank Louis' reputation/punish him/get rid of Larry support, etc. If there was anger there it was more likely to do with wanting more money.

As far as Jason Sudeikis is concerned, it's possible Olivia blindsided him (given the fact that he was still referring to her as his partner so close to the debut of holivia). IMO, anything that was made to look as though he wanted her back, or anything making him look like he'd been cheated on, was dirty PR. Jason was the only one who came out smelling like roses. His show was more popular than ever, he won a bunch of Emmys, and he was on the covers of magazines... all because he was positioned as this "poor guy who is just taking care of kids while his ex cheated on him and is a floozy running around with a younger man." It was a PR war between his team (the same one currently representing Justin Baldoni) and hers (who is known to be equally as aggressive).

Caroline Flack worked for Simon Cowell/X-Factor when she was involved with bearding Harry. I'd imagine it's not very easy to say no to Simon when he's in a position of control over you. Also, there was way less public hate for the age difference at the time. Harry was treated as a sex object who loved older women practically from day one, and barely anyone batted an eye. As to why she continued to pretend she dated Harry, I have no clue – it could have been a contract she was unable to get out of, or maybe she liked the attention it brought her (especially as he became more and more famous). There's just absolutely no way that was a real relationship. Even if you don't think Harry and Louis had a long-term love affair, Haroline was in 2011. Take a look at any video of Harry and Louis from that time – it's so obvious they were besotted with each other.

[campbell-rose]

Helluva Rewrite: Blitzø

ft Loona doodles :) Alright first off sorry this took so long i got a job lol

A large part of his character is the fact that he used to be a clown, so I took a bit of two face in this design and accentuated the scarring on the left side of his face. I decided to give him the circular cheek bits to allude to the clown as well as ruffling his collar under the clothes. He’s the most complex design of the IMP so far, aside from Loona’s multiple spots, so i tried to keep the colors simple but distinct from M&M. I took the spikes and put them on his clothes – as in he puts on thorns to keep people away. I think a pink tone suits his more lusty character. 

Now as for his character... I'll be honest I struggled with him for a bit. I wasn’t entirely sure where I wanted his character to go or how serious this rewrite would take the drama Viv wants to write. I adore writing deep characters, so I suppose I’m going to have to take The Office’s approach of being a comedy with moving parts. There are overarching plot lines in this version, that being Moxxie’s mafia ties coming back to haunt him, Blitzo’s past coming back to fuck him over in the form of everything about him, and Millie’s insecurities fucking her over when it counts. Maybe the series underlying theme is how running from your problems doesn’t work. Idk, because I also like the whole monster of the week type assassin gigs they do. I’ll make it work. 

So now, introducing the new and improved Blitzø! 

Blitzø is a mixed imp, his father being from Greed and his mother being from Lust. As such he’s a very poor mix of bad traits. He’s hypersexual (to the point of disturbing others), greedy as fuck (as he underpays Millie and Moxxie), is greatly attached to and possessive of those he likes (hence his smothering of Loona and stalking of M&M), and tends to think with his dick in most situations which get him into quite a few pickles (hehe pickle) 

Alright, so personality wise he is just about the same. He shits on others, is generally an ass and not very shy about it, but one thing I want to change is his delivery. This Blitzø is much more jovial about what he’s doing, putting on an act of being very charming and playful, even when he insults people. Ex, the line in the pilot when he mentions Moxxie crushing his dreams would include a very childish pout and a chuckle after. He plays the things he says off as jokes so it gives him an air of... idk like you don’t know when he’s ever being serious. 

He grew up in a circus in Greed along with his twin sister Barbie Wire (side note if Blitzo was my og creation he would have a pun/type name like Barbie does. Too tired to come up with one now, but mainly just because Barbie Wire is a much more creative name than fucking Blitzo) and his mother, who was dying day by day. His father was the ring leader and used his children as props to make money. Blitzo was a double act with Barbie Wire where they would do tricks on trained horses before Barbie started wanting to do trapeze and Blitzo was paired with Fizz instead to do acrobatics and tell jokes. 

Now since we don’t know what the fuck happened in Blitzo’s past (despite being on fucking season 2) I’m going to leave this bit open ended until Viv plays her cards then rewrite it into my story.  

So overall I’m not tweaking too much with Blitzo. Maybe instead of being a woobie who is like oh woe is me I suck he is just an overt asshole who sort of wants to be better but that’s too much work.  

His relationship with Stolas is a can of worms and I fucking hate worms. Alright, so we’re scrapping the childhood buddies thing, and going full force into what we all were shown in the pilot – this powerful demon is banging Blitzo in exchange for the Grimoire. Now real quick, why doesn’t Blitzo use Asmodean crystals? In this I'm making it so only lust demons can bond with crystals (bonding meaning only that demon can use them) and unbound crystals can’t leave Lust. So Blitzo would have to go to Lust and buy one, which is expensive as fuck and he was too broke at the time he struck the deal with Stolas. He’s planning on ditching Stolas as soon as he has enough cash to buy a crystal for IMP to use. 

So Stolas and Blitzo are both using each other, neither of them are like “omg I think he likes me”. Stolas wants sex to fuel his imp fetish and Blitzo wants the book. Blitzo has every intention of cutting this off as soon as he gets the crystal, and in his mind is only really indulging some rich brat demon. The issue comes when Blitzo finds himself actually liking Stolas – he likes the owl’s stupid spiels about literature and space and herbs, he likes that Stolas tells him helpful things with no prompting (like how certain herbs can treat injuries and things like that), and he finds himself liking Stolas’s company. Which is a big problem if he wants to cut the demon off, so he starts trying to get that in gear. This is also while being constantly reminded how unlovable he is and how he ruins everything he touches, but he’s conflicted because Stolas has started to treat him kindly and refer to him like an acquaintance rather than a sex toy. 

Any I'm tired af, going to bed. 

Oh, but before I go I just want to say that now that I’ve finished the IMP gang, I’m taking a minor break from reworking Helluva and will be posting some RWBY redesigns I’ve made because I fucking hate RWBY but at the same time it’s like my childhood. I’ll tag anything Rwby I'm doing as Rwby Rework if you’re interested, but don’t worry I’ll continue to do more viv/helluva/hazbin later this month! 

Thanks for reading <3

[missmyloko]

Hi! Lately, I have been very interested in Maiko/ Geiko and Yujō/Oiran/Tayū culture, their differences, but the most popular known books, documentaries have so many lies and discrepancies. I hope you might know some answers.

I don’t know if you read “Autobiography of a geisha” by Masuda Sayo, but she described her life as a hot-springs geisha during W2. While she learned “gei” (art), what happened to her was truly not different from prostitution. She was given different points after sleeping with men depending whether he was her danna, someone else’s danna or just a random guy.

There is this whole thing about American soldiers thinking “geisha” meant “prostitute”, bc some of the prostitutes decided to dress as geisha to attract more customers, I suppose?

Then, what Americans thought wasn’t exactly wrong (if we are not looking at Kyoto or Osaka)? Or was Masuda Sayo just a prostitute and she herself didn’t even know about it?

Are geisha outside of major districts (idk how to call them, Ponchoto, Gion Kobu etc) not considered geisha? Were times just so difficult that geisha had to resolve to prostitution under a banner of love instead of money, so it doesn’t make it illegal? Did Masuda just lie?

Masuda Sayo wrote the book herself in freaking Kanji, I believe her more than what “foreigners”, who only lived in geisha district for a couple of months, managed to understand. And Mineko Iwasaki was a queen among the geisha of completely different time period. I am more curious about how life was for “third rate” geisha.

I guess I am just somewhat confused about the statement that “Geisha are not prostitutes”, while there is an account that poor country girls sold in shitty okiyas were in fact as good as prostitutes.

In specific areas of Japan there used to be "double registered" geisha; that is, they were registered by the government to work as both geisha and as prostitutes. However, there were areas that worked under these double registration rules but didn't have official registration, so pretty much anything went. Sayo Masuda worked in one of those areas. These areas were often in small seaside towns or resort villages, which lead to onsen geisha having a tainted name that endures to this day. What they considered a geisha may as well have been night and day from what was going on in the large cities that had proper geisha associations that actually looked out for their members. This isn't to say that districts like Gion Kobu or Pontocho were perfect as at the time that Masuda was active young girls were still being sold into the karyukai across the country. So, where geisha populations were large and in larger cities they were primarily just geisha who, by government law, could not engage in prostitution. However, in small towns and villages, those who were identifying themselves as geisha also often took part in prostitution on the side as it was sadly a way for them to "serve" their customers. Sayo Masuda also wrote her autobiography in hiragana, not kanji, as she couldn't read or write kanji since she never had a formal education. American GIs brought back stories of "geesha girls" due to women who were not geisha but used one of the only Japanese words that they knew to have sex with for money in order to survive after the war. The Americans had no idea what a real geisha looked like and the karyukai didn't reopen (if they weren't bombed to shreds) until 1947. So, there were two years of regular women calling themselves geisha having sex with GIs that really didn't help with the Western perspective of geisha. By the time that Mineko Iwasaki came along, which was decades after Masuda was active and the Americans had mostly pulled out of Japan, prostitution had been made illegal across the country, so no double registered geisha existed anymore and no geisha anywhere were supposed to be having sex on the side for money (sex on the side is fine as long as it's consensual between two adults and no money is being exchanged though). Since geisha are incredibly exclusive for the most part, it's far cheaper and easier to hire a call girl or a hostess if someone wants to have illegal sex in Japan (it would be naïve to say that it doesn't happen even though it's illegal). So, were there different "levels" of geisha when Sayo Masuda was active? Of course. Was she lying? I don't believe so. Her story is extremely compelling and detailed to the point where it would be hard to be made up. Were the lines blurred on what was a "geisha" prior to World War II? Depending on where you were, yes. Has the karyukai changed drastically since that time? Very much so. Is there still work to be done when it comes to how geisha are perceived both inside and outside of Japan? Indeed, there's quite a great deal. But, we all have to start somewhere and I hope that this has helped to answer your questions ^^

[noonaishere]

Thoughts and Thanks

Written 7/5/2023 as I finished the first drafts (I think, I’m not 100% where this was in the timeline, I started the first drafts sometime in very early 2022)

I apologize if the y/n side of the fic was a bit more coherent than the t/n side was; it wasn’t intentional. I wrote the bulk of the y/n side before my life devolved into breakneck levels of working and emotion-ignoring, ending in me quitting my job and having burnout so bad that it kind of left me unable to do much of anything for the first three months of 2023. When I tell you that all I did was lay around and watch movies and play Animal Crossing like someone experiencing deep depression for those three months… I tell you that because that was all I COULD do. Please remember to take breaks if you can (and maybe don’t work in academia? idk). 

Addition, 1/5/2025: I know there’s like one or two moments where a character who knows info in one of the fics then appears in the other one, not knowing that info, but I feel like; for all my poor brain went through, only having one or two moments like that is probably better than I should have been able to do, lol.

Written 11/10/2023: I’m sitting here right now - after three weeks of disruption in which I had hayfever, got double vaccinated, and got addicted to a matching game (fortunately it’s like a jailbroken app that’s on a website so I can’t actually make the Bad Decision and spend money on it-- but I keep spending my time on it) - thinking about what I want to do going forward. It feels a little silly to put these thoughts here, since no one’s going to see them until 2025 (😫), but I want to, just the same. 

I’ve had four jobs so far, all bad in their own way, with the last two being uniquely horrible and I’ve sort of discovered that I hate working in a setting where you’re a cog in a machine that doesn’t even get to see the fruits of their labor. I just hate not working on something and being able to be like “I made this” at the end of all the work (or even being able to be like “we made this”). I also deeply hate being locked into a situation where I have to work a job that grinds my will and my creativity down into a paste until neither are usable (what the fuck is life even FOR, then?). I know that that’s how the capitalist machine works, by breaking people so they mindlessly do whatever their superiors say, but I was unfortunately born with the condition *stick-it-to-the-man-neosis*, which means I either do those jobs and want to off myself… or find something to do that I enjoy (my mom had a hard time with my condition when I was a child because I would just up and leave school. Like we’d be doing our early morning, “everyone sit in the lunchroom before school starts,” and I would be like, “whelp, that’s enough of this,” and just get up and walk out of the building. I don’t really remember it, but apparently I did it a LOT). 

The thing is, I really love writing, to the point that even the hard parts don’t feel so hard (which is sort of weird, because other writers I know complain about the process because, you know, the process is hard, but I find myself still liking the process even though it’s hard? I’m sure some of my grade school teachers would be very confused). I really like inventing characters and then bringing them to life on the page, so here’s the next thing I had to say:

[I rewrote this part after reading it now, since so much of it had changed since I first wrote it]

Since this is done, I’m going to be working on original stuff. I have been recently (since I’ve mostly recovered from burnout, my brain has been able to handle doing more) and have… two drafts that are mostly done, one that needs editing, and one that needs a vigorous rewrite. Genres include but are not limited to: fantasy, supernatural, scifi, romance, and smut. I feel like my last three fics (these two and the Jaehyun one) have been very “real world slice of life” where my original fiction tends to be more fantasy based (even my novella that’s very like “young person worried about their town and it’s ecology” still has supernatural shit in it).

At first I was thinking maybe Patreon, and I could post the chapter of a story every week, but serialized fiction writing and book writing are a little different (serialized fiction tends to have a lot of cliff hangers to keep people turning up every week, and I just don’t like writing that way), so I’ve decided instead to self-publish them. Very soon, I need to start a Newsletter (would you all want the link?) so I can keep you up-to-date with releases or just silly thoughts or whatever.  

Finally, my thanks:

Written 10/24/2023: Thank you to @leagreenly for taking time out of her busy schedule to make me the yt thumbnnails for the “NEROmusic” update tweets (she made the thumbnails and I made a frame from a tweet). Thank you so much for being a kind friend who uses their procrastination to make things for someone on the other side of the planet (“I sent so much because I have to go to sleep now” lol). I presume my messages about their look were coherent, since I woke up to exactly what I was thinking of the next day, lol.

Thank you to @metalheadatiny for being my constant twitter liaison, at any random moment of the day when I’m like, “Can you find this for me?” because I don’t have twitter and can’t see tweets anymore-- I am never downloading that hell-app (I will only use THIS hell-app. I can only stomach one! How much hell can one person take? Let me tell you… it’s not a lot lol). Thank you for sending me screenshots of exactly what I need, like a personal Private Eye who shows up in my house like, “I found the girl” and then throws a bunch of black and white pictures onto my desk. And then I’m like “What girl?-- who the fuck is this? I needed pictures of a tweet so I know how to format it-- WHY ARE YOU LEAVING??”

Written 1/5/2015: To the people who have been reading as it updated: I hope you enjoyed this silly thing (or rather, two silly things). There were a lot of comments I saw as people read it that had me laughing (my fav where the few were we were all screaming at the characters together lol), and I’m glad you all liked it. Thank you for reading it, and maybe take a moment to check out some of my older fics if you liked these ones. I can at least tell you that, if you like chaotic y/n’s, the y/n in Work of Art is almost like a proto-Online/Offline y/n (I actually have an AU in my brain where that y/n and Jaehyun are older and they’re this Yeosang’s parents… idk why, I just feel like he would be their kid lol). The fics before that are mostly smut, so read at your own risk.

To all the people who liked the masterlist or a random chapter with the intention of reading it after: I hope you enjoyed, possibly as you mainlined it, lol. (I read all of JJK in two days, so I understand that mood lol.)

I was intending some more epilogue stuff and/or prequel stuff, but I was so busy working for the last four months I didn’t get to finish them like I wanted, so they’re going to take a bit. I’d say… remember me in your hearts, but don’t get your hopes up too high, since I can’t give the faintest idea of a posting date for any of them.

[Edit: I just realized I didn't put the taglist, so all you tagged people can be sure to see my thanks! @luvvvx @iamthehotdemon @hrts4hanniehae @rachs-words @stayatinykatsy @dinossaurz @conwunder @tinyelfperson @anythingrelatingtojinyoung @jaytheatiny @staytinyluv @nevermoreraven1 Thank you all for reading 😊]

*squeaky toy noise*

[ONLINE/OFFLINE MASTERLIST]

[MUSIC OF THE HEART MASTERLIST]

🧋 🎵

Also: if you really liked either of them, please reblog the masterlist! we don't have an algorithm after all, so, O-reader-kenobi! I need your help! (please imagine Hwa in a star wars outfit)

[bobcross1010]

mavis- half french half japanese! grayish hair that slightly fades to black and VERY VERY SHARP GREEN EYES SHE STARES INTO YOUR SOUL WHEN YOU SLEEP. she is very arrogant and can come off as bratty sometimes, but she isn't actually all that mean when you actually get to know her i suppose. she is insane about detective novels and media like she actually DEVOURS detective franchises. she's interested in becoming a detective at the moment. but for now, she's just your average, local wannabe detective who solves minor cases like missing pets. her dad is head of the shibuya police department, and he's really not there to be able to support mavis. even when he's not working, he's mainly ignoring her. she still had her loving mother to support her, but even then, she was still missing an emotional crutch in her early life, which caused her to mature more quickly than she should've. the feeling of being related to someone she barely knew caused her to feel very confused about her sense of self. ANYWAYS SHUT UPvery crucial add mavis really likes gothic lolita fashion (and is crazy about literally any fashion style as that's her entire unit's purpose. fashion.) anyways can you tell she's my favorite mikoto- gyaru girl yay. she has fuck ass hot pink hair AND THE MOST INKEST EYES YOUD HAVE EVER SEEN OH LORD okay anyways mikoto is very interested in the gyaru subculture. due to her school's (can't decide if she should go to kamiyama or miya) dresscode, she is unable to wear most of the clothes in her wardrobe, so she usually looks like a kogal gyaru for the most part i guess??? she has a very very upbeat personality and literally knows everyone at school she is EVERY introvert's nightmare. originally, she went to a very strict catholic school that did not allow any form of clothing besides the school's uniform, which was bland and unexpressive. the strictness of the school made her feel very much suppressed, so moving schools made her the happiest girl alive. in her new school, she was able to dress up however she wanted. though there might be people that call her weird for the way she styles herself, she does not give a crap. mars- lesbian jumpscare. black hair with some dyed red streaks that run throughout her hair. she likes wearing them in little half-up half-down pigtails. she likes to wear those spikey rhinestone punk accessory things around her pigtails. idk how to explain okay anyway this is the most fiery girl/j. anyways, she plays electric guitar and wishes she was in a band but is not because she's a loser. she is very very very very very extroverted and really likes flirting with girls for some reason what is wrong with her she grew up in a very poor household where her mom and dad were barely able to provide enough money for rent and food. they lived in a small apartment that sucked. when mars was walking outside one day, she stumbled upon street performer with a guitar. mars did not know the cost of a guitar, so she asked her mom for one. and seeing the face of an innocent girl who was oblivious to the harsh world around her was enough to convince her parents. so they worked endlessly, skipping meals and working overtime. eventually, after a month or so, they were able to come by with enough money to buy a guitar. it was a used guitar and it was missing a string and sounded wonky, but mars loved it nonetheless. when mars got older, she began repairing it and it sounded good as new. mars knew that she would be in debt to her parents. so mars started performing on the streets. everyday, she'd sing with her guitar (like an idiot) with the months that passed, more and more people listened. until she had a crowd. this crowd gave her plenty of money as donations and such, and some even suggested she try singing at live houses. (she has met kohane at one of the live houses. she has flirted with her and failed miserably.) so eventually, she starts singing at live houses and street performing, and she gets a ton of money from generous people who passed by. most of the money goes to her parents.

EPIC POGGERS WOAAHHH!!!!!!!! bonjour Mavis... ma belle..... 🥰 and hello to you other girlies as well 😉😉

that rhymed lol

[earlgreytea68]

Ruminations on Social Media Platforms

Since Tumblr has decided that it Needs to Make Money and the Only Way to Make Money is to turn all users into Mindless Servants of the Algorithm, I've been thinking a lot about social media platforms.

Tbh, I'm always thinking a lot about social media platforms, it's kind of part of my field of scholarly endeavor, if you will. But I think a lot about them not in the abstract but as an active user of many of them. And Tumblr is my faaaavorite. And of course so much of what makes Tumblr my favorite is what makes it "unprofitable" or whatever. I put these words in quotes because the definition of "unprofitable" is an extremely narrow one in our capitalist society. Could a website that has allowed many people to form communities / relationships / friendships / connections with people they would otherwise never have met in ways that have vastly improved their lives really be considered unprofitable, ever? Could a website that gives people any moments of pleasure or joy or delight be considered unprofitable? Could a website that sometimes makes you think or at least give you pause be considered unprofitable?

Yeah, it's also a website that's, you know, a hellsite, but, like, it's on the internet and it's made up of people, c'est la vie.

I left Twitter when the Elon Musk thing went down, partly because in those days he was actively taunting Twitter's userbase and it felt a little like I was just on this social media platform being bullied by its owner? Idk, I didn't like it, so I decided to take a break until things calmed down. I really thought he'd get bored and sell it, so kudos to Elon Musk for not doing that. But, anyway, sometimes I think about going back to Twitter. I miss my friends there, I miss knowing what they're up to. Twitter was actually, let's face it, terrible for keeping up with people but Tweetdeck, where you could put people in chronological order and better organize things, was great for it! (As usual, the only way to make the social media platform usable was to use it in a way it wished you wouldn't.)

But I've been going back to Twitter recently to find Tourdust content and I was reminded that Twitter is just...awful. Like, it is almost impossible to have an encounter with Twitter that doesn't drag you down a rabbit hole of terrible discourse of people being awful. I fully admit this is my own fault, for clicking on things I know are going to upset me, but this is why it's better for me just to be off Twitter entirely. Twitter's functionality makes it way too easy to trace and follow outrage, and then you end up just hate-clicking deeper and deeper into these spirals. My mental health is much happier for having given up Twitter, because I'm not a strong enough person not to get sucked into all the unhealthy snippiness of the place.

The reason I've been on Twitter looking for Tourdust updates is precisely because it's better-organized than Tumblr, easier to find the stuff you want to find (in among all the other stuff you wish you wouldn't find, of course). So Tumblr's poor searchability is why I was driven to Twitter, BUT I've come to the conclusion that in a lot of ways that is a feature and not a bug. I can see the ripples of a bunch of kerfuffles that have happened in bandom recently, they lap delicately up against my dash, but by the time they get to me they're the tiniest of waves instead of a tsunami, and if I wanted to figure out what went down, it would take me actual effort. I'm sure I could do it, of course -- it's not like it's utterly impossible -- but it's not as frictionless as figuring out on Twitter. I have to make more of an active effort to go in search of the drama, it's not just RIGHT THERE blinking at me to click on it, and that makes me better able to resist it. I am at heart a lazy person, after all.

So, like, in a way Tumblr doesn't function right, and in a way Tumblr functions beautifully. It all depends on what you're using Tumblr for. And Tumblr was always my escape platform, even when I was still active on Twitter. When I was feeling anxious or sad or upset, I would scroll my Tumblr dash and it would be mindless and soothing and endless (I follow a lot of people. This is for me the key to Tumblr, but see, it all depends on how you're using Tumblr! They don't all share my interests anymore, but I don't care. I just want to sometimes not be in the shouting match that Twitter seems to devolve into so often). And so this is why I feel like it does make sense that there should always be multiple social media platforms in the world. This idea that social media platforms seem to have that they should be the ULTIMATE ONLY ONE is so harmful. Different platforms are for different things. Chill out. (Of course, this is the conquer-the-world mentality formed by capitalism. I am really worried what's going to happen when Netflix realizes it can't keep growing subscribers indefinitely because the population of the planet is finite. Does it know this? I don't think it knows this...)

I was thinking of all this not just because of Tumblr's algorithm thing but because everyone's fussing about Threads, and like, in a way I get it. Clearly I still have a need for Twitter in my life even if I'm simultaneously aware how dysfunctional it is for me. I get that everyone's still trying to find a way to replace Twitter. But first of all, I dislike Facebook as a company so intensely, like, a lot. (I refuse to call it Meta. That's how much I dislike it lol). Second of all, the fact that people seem to think it's a good thing that Threads integrates with your Instagram, I'm just like, ......imagine behaving on Twitter exactly the same way you behave on Instagram? What??? This doesn't even computer to me lol. The same platform that wants you to post photos of your kids should be integrated with the one where people are constantly just yelling at each other over nothing???? Those seem like two completely different places to me?????

Facebook is obsessed with the idea that everyone needs to be Exactly The Same on every corner of the internet, and I just do not agree with that at all. Imagine me being the same on LinkedIn as I am on Tumblr. Like, God, what a boring world that would be!! What a boring life I would be leading!! I guess some people ARE that way, and either that is awesome that they are so fully themselves at work as to just post porn they've written, or it's that they never have any interests that aren't totally aligned with work, which just...is astonishing to me.

What I REALLY think Threads is doing -- and honestly what I think Facebook essentially wants -- is to turn all of us into some curated facsimile of ourselves. I mean, all social media does that, but if you only have one facsimile of yourself, then you never have any other aspects to explore. And if you only have one facsimile of yourself, it's probably going to be the one most designed to make yourself money. Like, isn't that what everyone wants to be doing these days? Using social media to make money? I saw people talking about Threads, and every single one of them was talking about building their brand.

So in a way I am totally sympathetic to Tumblr's problem. They're right. Social media is just a way to sell us stuff now, and if they're not selling us stuff, it's a "problem." Capitalism has finally succeeded in commodifying literally every relationship we have. Literally every single one. And we kind of just let it happen, like there was no other possible way the internet could ever have been designed but to create a handful of billionaires making money off of the fact that people want to feel connected to each other. And then taking that fact and making it all about "but what's the point of connection without making me some more billions?"

Anyway. I wish things weren't like that. Tumblr still is my favorite. Who knows what happens next. Sigh.

[bumblebeerror]

oh so your levels are actually the same as mine, oh wow. i'm around 400 too. same levels, yet we have such different bodily experiences. that's so interesting.

maybe you have an excess of free testosterone or increased conversion of t into dihydrotestosterone? have you gotten those blood tests done? if you haven't, maybe you should.

also your levels fluctuate a lot. to go from 400 to 600 within the same week is kinda drastic. i've read that only small fluctuations are normal. my levels fluctuate within a much smaller interval (430-450), and i think it's like that for the majority of cis guys.

the reason i know my t levels is because i've been struggling with things like fatigue, joint pain, stiffness, dry skin, cold skin, dry eyes, brittle hair, sleepiness & autoimmune symptoms for a while now so i thought it might be due to low testosterone and went to get tested. but my levels are on the lower end of the normal range... so apparently not.

that's an interesting fact about t injections. you learn something new every day! that's gotta hurt though.

now that you mention it, there was one boy in my class who had bad body odor. but just one. and we only really felt it during gym class. he was very short like a kid and kinda chubby, but boy did he sweat a lot. he was also pretty poor and from a remote village so maybe that had something to do with it. whenever we were changing in the boys locker room for gym, it would smell pretty bad. the gym teacher was very mad at him for that and all the other boys would give him shit for it. fun fact: teenage boys can be very cruel to each other in male-only spaces. i stayed quiet, of course, because i was going through my own problems that i would rather not get into now. and one time we had to learn a traditional dance in pairs (there were more boys than girls so some boys had to be paired with boys) and when i was paired with him and had to touch his hands they were so sweaty and i was kinda grossed out ngl. maybe i should've been nicer to him tbh.

wow, i got off track there. you unlocked a hidden memory.

anyways, maybe you're right. but there's a fine line between treating these teenage boys humanely and actively encouraging lack of hygiene & laziness. teenage boys can be very immature and undisciplined and quite frankly, they don't need any more coddling and babying than they already receive. teenage boys and young men nowadays have a big problem with immaturity and not wanting/knowing how to grow up (i know from experience). they should be encouraged to display maturity for their own good. and knowing how to take care of yourself and practice proper hygiene is a part of maturity.

The amount changes as it’s absorbed, and it’s absorbed over the week, so large fluctuations aren’t unexpected, since I’m not making the excess myself. It just depends, and that’s just the range of results my tests every three months or so have turned out. Like I said, this is unsolicited medical advice and I don’t need it.

The injections don’t hurt any more than any other shot, they’re just done into any large muscle group. For me that’s my thigh.

Anyways.

That’s the thing, though. Maybe you received coddling, idk your life - but for the most part if you stray from the perfect normal you are extremely fucking bullied. The only thing my friends did was be unfortunately extra sweaty.

Boys being immature isn’t my responsibility - what is my responsibility is not bullying them for it? Like the problem you’re describing is A) kid doesn’t know how to control BO bc he wasn’t taught, B) kid’s parents never enforced/assisted with hygiene practices, or C) kid’s family doesn’t have the money to buy hygiene products, which is extremely common and hygiene products aren’t covered by things like food stamps or other welfare programs. None of which are my business as an adult and are things I will gladly completely ignore because that’s a child who doesn’t have complete control of that.

I assume most of the teen boys in my class didn’t want to stink just by the sheer amount of axe body spray that filled my highschool.

I’ve never really met anyone who wanted to stink. Just people who can’t afford, never learned, or were never taught.

Not to mention that, in general, kids learn from parents about the kind of shit they relentlessly bully each other about.

You aren’t wrong, hygiene is important to someone’s health. But the thing there is that making someone feel bad about being smelly doesn’t make them cleaner. It doesn’t give disabled folks or folks with mental health issues the ability to have good and consistent hygiene habits. Like, as someone who’s disabled… yea part of that is sometimes you do not have the ability to be clean. Or you’re at the mercy of someone else to be clean. Or you struggle with the process. There’s a million reasons and none of them deserve to be hassled over it.

Like what I’m saying here is other people’s hygiene habits aren’t your personal business besides idk, reminding someone to wash their hands if they forgot, I guess.

This conversation just comes back to idk how to explain to you that you should be nice to people. Sometimes people stink. Use your manners anyways.

[cartelheir]

— 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓.

name: patricia carosella.

name meaning: patricia is a name of latin origin that means noble or patrician.

alias/es:  pat. in the runaway verse, she goes by the fake name sofia borbón, but not in other verses.

ethnicity: mexican / mestiza.

one picture / icon you like best of your character:

i love this picture because it's just The essence of pat. the outfit, the jewelry, the surroundings, the way she's looking at you like you're dirt under her shoe, everything. this is how she looks like 99% of the time.

three h/cs you never told anyone:

pat has maids coming to her home daily, and as a result she does literally zero chores. she hates cleaning with a passion. over time she's gotten used to have at least one maid around all the time, so she doesn't care about things such as having an incredibly personal conversation on the phone with a friend while they might be listening. it's like they're not even there.

due to her history, pat cares a lot about sexual assault victims as well as the femicide victims in mexico. she donates a lot of money to charities that try to find the missing women, or ones that fight against human trafficking. she's aware that a lot of the men she works with in the cartel participate in it, and it's one of the things she'd like to change if she was in charge of things.

pat and her family attended church weekly when she was a child, but she was never too much of a believer. she just liked singing at choir and hanging out with the other kids, but even when she was really young she remembers thinking :/ idk if this god guy actually exists. despite her skepticism, there was also a part of pat who feared god WAS real and he'd punish her for doubting him. she was convinced he would make her choke to death on the sacramental bread. she avoided eating it for months.

three things your character likes doing in their free time: 

music. she can play piano and guitar, and she also has a very nice singing voice and a hell of a lot of stage presence, if she would ever get on a stage again. her parents used to say she was gonna be a bigger star than selena quintanilla, but well, life got in the way.

going out to dance. or to just have drinks with friends.

shopping. like any toxic rich person, pat thinks she's entitled to spend her money on whatever the fuck she wants, and she often splurges on useless luxury items.

people your character likes / loves:

ángel salazar is a npc i probably won't bring over to the rpc so he won't be part of her storyline, but i had to mention him because in my original writing for pat, he's very important to her. for those who remember the román days, that's not him, but his story is slightly inspired on him.

luisa ríos, her mom. they don't get along most of the time and pat has more than enough reasons to hate her, but she can't stop caring.

martina carosella; pat's aunt, javier's younger sister. they're besties.

santiago guzmán, pat's bodyguard and chauffeur. wherever she is, he's usually around. she's not sure if she'd consider him a friend, but she trusts him. in very vulnerable, drunken nights, she might've vented about one personal thing or two to him.

two things your character regrets:

getting involved with césar. she tries to forgive herself for it, because she was just a child who didn't know any better, but she often thinks about how different her life would've turned out if she'd never met him.

not reclaiming pristine airlines earlier. she was reasonably scared of the cartel doing another attempt on her life. but to think that she was broke for all those years when it was her right to inherit the company? those are years of her life that she wasted being poor.

one phobia your character has:

dogs. she was attacked by one as a child. the bigger they are, the worse her fear is, but tbh she's a little scared of the small cutesy ones too. they can smell her fear.

tagged : stolen from the dash. tagging: @artmadc, @sleazygoing, @lcvnderhazed, @parieur, @wellfell / @r4bidog, @flmed, @embodies, @vitalphenomena, @dogtccth, as usual i encourage everyone else to steal this from me

[thegeminisage]

it's star trek update time. last night we watched ds9's "profit and loss" and tng's "genesis."

profit and loss (ds9):

i was EATING! what an amazing episode. even though there was lots of quark and he's not normally my favorite

entire section with quark on his knees begging or whatever. that post thats like "gay people never flirt normally it's always shit like this"

my favorite part was that, in spite of all quark's begging and bribery, odo was like "yeah no i was gonna disobey orders anyway bc justice. this was fun though thanks" like my absolute KING and best friend odo startrek.

also, odo's complete and total disdain for the idea of romance........please. he's SOMEWHERE on the ace and/or aro spectrum. idk where but he is

AND GARAK! i'm sad he only had one conversation with bashir but i was so excited to see him and find out even a little bit more about him. i was like aw cm,on hes harmless hes just a little guy hes a gay little tailor and then they strongly implied he used to be an assassin and i had to pause the episode bc i got lightheaded

at first i didnt understand the end...like he informed on them and was gonna kill them to get back to cardassia and then just RANDOMLY changed his mind? but he told you what he was gonna do in his very first scene. it's loyalty to the state before loyalty to loved ones - or, yes, even the self. his 180 was a little abrupt, but i totally got it once i thought about it. the depth of the love he has for a place that ??? tossed him out ??? i guess? is pretty amazing

my only real complain about this episode was that they fumbled quark a little. that episode where he was in a quasi-romance with that cross-dressing ferengi actually gave us a good set-up - he does have a soul/conscience/whatever and IS capable of caring about other people, even more more than he cares about his assets (like the bar) - in both this episode and that one, he was perfectly willing to throw away the bar for a love interest. but in that other episode, he wasn't willing to live and be with that other ferengi unless she conformed to HIS idea of how women should be. in this one, he was briefly entertaining the idea of throwing away his entire life to go fight this lady's cause with her (which i don't think he could have followed through with), but absolutely nobody brought up "if you love her you have to give her agency and let her do what she wants ie leave" or at the VERY least "it's creepy/selfish to try and blackmail her into more or less marrying you." like, no, you don't need to spoonfeed the audience, WE know it's creepy, but her students going "yeah no let her stay!" was bonkers. and then when he did let her leave (and decided not to go with her even though he'd offered to do that earlier) it was just because he...had no choice?

idk, i feel like "quark sold food to starving bajorans even though it was illegal" does a LOT to humanize him, and in a GREAT way because plausibly he could go "yeah well the bajorans had money and i like money" to deny he has a conscience or whatever. AND IT WAS A THROWAWAY LINE. meanwhile he spent half this episode being creepy to this poor cardassian lady and it kind of undoes all that...? i'm not saying i DON'T want quark to be selfish and secretly a goody two-shoes, but i do want him to care about SOMETHING in a way that's like, if not totally unselfish, at least in a manner that has depth. "i like this lady so i want her to stay here forever and forget logic and also whatever she wants" is pretty much the least complex kind of romance you could give him. it works as a STARTING point, but if the endpoint is him just letting her leave because he quite literally has no choice, there wasn't much of a point to any of it plotwise, even if his non-sexist antics were extremely fun to watch in this episode

genesis (tng):

if spot transformed into an iguana right as she was finished giving birth to her kittens and they were a day old when data and picard found them, that means those newborn kittens did not eat for a full 24 hours and picard and data left them in data's quarters without feeding them or caring for them at all, which is perhaps the gravest sin either of them has ever committed

newborn kittens can only last a few hours without nursing - after half a day, they'd all be gone. and SOMEHOW they're still alive even though NO ONE HAS FED THEM and they don't even stop to feed them like we SAW them leave you can't even pretend they just did it offscreen between scenes. like are you kidding

ALSO, spot and all the other cats aboard this fucking spaceship should be fixed??? i hate to accuse my best friend data of being an irresponsible pet parent but there it is :/

i would never take my cats into space. they don't even like car rides. how can you drive this ship into a planet when there are children AND CATS aboard?? i hate tng so deeply

anyway, doing all of that to worf was racist and worf biting deanna in the bath was rapey. no wonder the actors hated worf e deanna almost every single one of their scenes together has been awful. -1000000/10 this might be my least favorite episode of tng i've ever watched

TONIGHT: ds9's "blood oath" and tng's "journey's end" and yes ik what that one is about and i am full of dread

[alternativememories]

both sides...

i have a friend who has sucked for a while now. i've been thinking about writing about it for a minute but i've been putting it off like everything with our friendship lately...but part of who i want to be is someone that shows up, even when things fucking suck, and i can't waste any more time. i know what i've got to do and it's time to rip the band-aid off. our friendship is over and i've gotta be real about it.

i'm fucking sad, man. i see him as a younger brother. so much of how we see things and approach things is similar to one another. the ways that he has sucked for some time are really similar to how i struggled when i was younger. he had a breakup recently, which in the big picture i thought would actually end up being good for him. i think both he and his ex have stuff that they need to work on individually and that this would be a good opportunity for him to get himself squared away.

but the spiral continues. the last time i saw him we talked about where he was with things and where he's headed and it was mostly half-assed excuses. it's apparent that he's not showing up for himself, let alone anyone else for that matter. he smokes, which has kept him comfortable in the cycle of not showing up in any meaningful way, and he lacks accountability. he's living with his parents right now and it seems like they're enabling his behavior.

it's shitty. we lived together up until the end of october and to be honest it was toxic as fuck. it came down to money and cleaning. in moving in, we agreed to not have his now-ex on the lease to keep things simple in case they ended up not working out as a couple. however, when she ended up staying at the apartment more than A and i and we wanted her to pay toward the bills, it was an issue *eye roll*. initially, the conversation about contributing was shut down bc homie talked to other roommate and he supposedly said that he didn't care if she paid and that was the end of it...(we'll revisit this)

at one point during this conflict, there was a text about wanting to be friends after the lease would end...i've thought a lot about that since. it took me some time to figure out why i couldn't help but fixate on it, but with where we are now i think i know the answer. the statement operates through an inherent assumption that how things were handled was damaging to our friendship. to be honest, it was. the bills conflict was infuriating bc the argument against contributing was school loan payments being high; meanwhile in watching behavior they ate out all the time. and you know, everyone has bills. but not everyone takes advantage of their friends to pay theirs.

with the cleaning thing, it became clear that he was frustrated by the cleanliness of the apartment but never communicated what those expectations even were. eventually we landed on a chore-board. but this wasn't without its problems bc it just led to them not being accountable for their share of the chores; beyond that, there was noticeable passive-aggressiveness toward the other roommate who tbh idk if he ever even agreed to in the first place. weird to someone to a standard they never agreed to but maybe that's just me...

when he and his ex broke up he told me a very specific story of what led to the fracture. i want to say that i found the specificity odd but dismissed it bc i was excited to have my friend back. when they were dating he was very reclusive and we were barely friends anymore. truthfully, we moved here in a pandemic and while i have loads of coworkers, he's really been my only friend here...but a few weeks ago i found out that it looks like he's lied about those specifics of the story that he told me, knowing that it fundamentally changes the reaction. it's manipulative.

in thinking about it, i've really tried to explain away or excuse the poor behavior...but to be honest, it's inexcusable and with what he's lied about, there's no recourse here...there's no way to police the behavior, and with him lying about it, no way to trust anything he says that it's even stopped. now i'm wondering what else he's lied about to get what he wants. the first thing that comes to mind is the bills conversation. it's a fundamental breach of trust and i don't think our friendship can be repaired. it fucking sucks and this fucking sucks but it is what it is...because he sucks.

[bunnyloaves]

brba genderswap au bc i am cringe

i apologize for the brba fandom thinkies rn, but thinking abt the genderswap brba au with skyler and jane being walt n jesse,,, and all the other characs are swapped too, this au is making me giGGLE

so my thoughts on it is like, no is this au skyler would not be cooking meth, i see no reason for her to know how that works and i think its kinda lame for her to learn how to cook meth from this hypothetical au walter (plus i think the fact that in canon-verse her thing IS cooking the books, both for walts meth empire, and by profession (and the layer of her being meticulous in a way a man could never be, all too aware of the details))

but yes, she n walter (+ flynn n the yet to be born holly) are still broke n poor in this au, but walter never pursues his meth thing and he remains the ever ineffectual and impotent father. while its skyler who ends up as a criminal, how exactly? well here goes, so ok family is broke, walter still has cancer n stuff, so in some turn of events she works as some clerk at mesa verde, doing idk bank stuff. but the thing is the bank is one of the fronts madrigal has, which how we drag lydia into this au. this whole bank thing is how she runs into kim, whose already deep in her “sally/giselle” persona, take ur pick whichever one she is. 

so all three of them, cook the books, if you will for the madrigal company. idk how deeply involved they would end up being in the meth aspects of it, but i imagine this au more of a court style mind game, girl betrayal drama more than anything as active n shooty rooty n tooty as canon brba.

but also, i think it’d be interesting if skyler’s whole hustle of selling knick knacks in s1 could be play into this. she could kinda be like those women who steal millions from companies by stealing coupons in bulk, by having an inside contact. then reselling the coupons for more and in her attempts to ‘clean’ the money she interacts with sketchy people.

anyways back to the bank angle for this au, so by cooking the books for mesa verde, which does other illicit stuff aside from tax evading that her villain origin story ig, like enabling the operations of this wretched conglomerate even when she knows who it is and what she is working for.

i think her fatal flaw, much like walter’s narcissism (wherein he cares more abt projecting himself as a father figure, protector, provider more than actually providing) is her enabling attitude. like shes doing this to provide for her family and i know she’d be more earnest with those wishes more than walter ever could be in canon. she’d be the type to bond with her kids, actually know and care for flynn much like in the canonverse, but id like to think that her working for madrigal and enabling them would come to bite her in the ass later on in this au. 

also her dynamics with walt would be interesting, like what would that even look like damn, cuz skyler has always been headstrong, or else she wouldn’t been able to put up with even becoming ‘part’ of walt’s operations but what would it even look like when its her heading those operations (with all that womanly, motherly meticulousness. like she wouldn’t be able to pull off chem tricks and ricin stuff like walt, but shes got the chops to do schemes of her own too)

ig the two aspects to juxtapose in this au, would be the whole mother+saintliness vs what she enables madrigal to do. 

ok lets talk abt jane, ngl im not sure hoW theyd meet each other exactly, but imo the scene that would make skyler ‘irredeemable’ (like the scene that makes walter irredeemable to the audiences eyes, is like the s2 ABQ episode) this au’s version of it, would be pushing jane to the point of relapsing o___o, which is how i think the consequences of working for madrigal would fully sink in for her. 

oH also marie is law enforcement in this au, which imo would make things hurt more cuz they are literally sisters and not just in-laws. gus would be lydia i think, saul would be kim, and mike would be francesca (ig?? girl help idk anymore)

(regardless of how they meet tho, i still think theyd have that fucked up codependency walt n jesse have lmAOO,, also i refuse to let anything bad happen to jesse in this au, he will remain the goth bf and thats final, no questions asked)

anyways these are just my thinky thoughts do not perceive