#and it is so bad. but layla didnt kill him there bc ember said not to and her view on the situation takes precedent to her own disguist | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

amatres · 1 year ago

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hm. giving more thought to layla in relation to killing others bc the answer i gave off the cuff didn't seem exactly right. and it's very. grey, i suppose?

in general she doesn't go out of her way to kill people, sticking often to giving people second chances, even if the person doesn't seem repentant. but she also isn't going to spill tears for every person she kills (sorry ember, she's not as devoted to the idea as you, though she admires your dedication to it).

however there are times even she feels it's just not possible. with some she feels no remorse, such as with hulrun who she found vile in his zealotry, but in other cases it is. not smthing she takes any pleasure in doing, and is unable to let go of her sympathy for the person as she does it (wenduag....) to the point it haunts her long after it happened.

i suppose it's interesting in the two instances i can think off as the biggest examples of that scenario, with staunton and wenduag, she still tried to afford them some dignity or peace of mind in the end, like with allowing staunton to have a proper burial or with telling wenduag she was afraid of her potential in wenduag's last moments

camellia's death was an outlier, and is more an example in the position on having to keep making the calls on who lived or died affecting her negatively to the point she goes against what she would normally do in that situation, and then it haunts her because what if's will plague her afterwards.

does any of this make sense. no. i am tired and hungry

#ama mumbles #layla (oc)#lesson from this post: she is not a solider and she is being pressure cooked the longer in a position of authority she is #shes just a silly dhampir aha why are you making her a knight commander #also an interesting point to remember is she is a dirge bard! i know i make jokes about making skeletons dance and all that lol #but she has a genuine respect for the dead and the legacies they leave behind. she wont stop for every single dead but you know #she is not rlly leader but she also has very high charisma so ppl like to listen to her. unfortunately galfrey noticed this F #why do these deaths haunt you. bc i was incapable of saving them but perhaps they Could have been had smthing changed for them first #:for staunton and wenduag #versus bc i let my emotions get rid of someone i had come to trust over a span of a couple months in a single moment #i didnt even do it myself. for camellia #she Was going to let camellia live btw. but her emotions from wenduag were still running high alas #tho im sure she would have had to kill camellia later on anyway. and she would have felt bad about it then too tho probably. less so. lol #on discord i said she only kills in self defense which. is and isnt right necessarily. anyway i cant keep going on i need to eat #also another thin to take into account is she takes in the victims views into account!#playing through meeting hulrun before he is set on killing ppl on sight is i got to see his and embers convo #and it is so bad. but layla didnt kill him there bc ember said not to and her view on the situation takes precedent to her own disguist #anyway in her actual canon layla kills that man bc hes about to kill ramien she does not. get there early enough to have a calmish convo

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