#even labor called this stupid basically

[thetimelordbatgirl]

So basically, next to this being a way for Tory's to force people to join the military if they win because the military ads aren't doing shit to get people to want to join, this is also a way to screw over anyone not in the elite class. Because let's be real: kids of rich assholes like Rishi??? They wont be affected by this, their parents will avoid that because their parents only seek to punish the non-elite class people. Hell despite saying the royals will be included, we know Charles or William can just find a way to be exempt from the law like royals always end up doing. Meaning they'll be able to continue living their rich life's 18 and beyond, able to get any jobs they want or continue in education if they want, never having to worry about shit, meanwhile non-elite class 18 year olds are basically being told fuck their education, fuck their jobs, fuck any obligations they have going on, the government seeks to punish them and force them to do shit that in the long run, will impact anything they had going on negatively. Like Rishi and co are not stupid. There is no great way to fit a year in the military around university or a way to keep a job and to suggest ones who are carers should just leave caring for loved ones to whatever scheme the government makes up for them while they gone is just cruel. And there is literally no way to slip in a weekend of unpaid labor once a month for a year while in Uni without overwhelming the students who are already busy with degrees and jobs and other stuff at the weekend. This shit among so much other shit is literally why tory's have to be voted out, because if they aren't, they will do this shit and fuck over younger generations more then they already have in the past 14 years.

[keferon]

Howdy!

I think your Monster Hunter AU is really cool and I wanted to know if you’d be cool if I tried to write something in the universe? (Specifically about Prowl haha, I saw him once and thought 👀 “man i wonder if tarantulas was in this au how spooky he’d be given he’s spooky enough in canon”)

Would also love to know your thoughts/if you had any of what Prowl could be up to, I know the au is Lost Light focused so I totally get it if you don’t have any/etc.

Hope you have a good day! Love your art!

Hoooo boy okay okay. Prowl.

He's a Golem created by Orion.

In mythology, Golems are essentially living statues made of clay mixed with blood and animated by magic. They are stupid and exist for primitive manual labor.

In my universe, a Golem is basically the same thing, but made of metal.

Orion assembled his golem from empty armor, parts stolen from the medbay, and his own energon. And then he went and got a Wisdom artifact and put it in the golem's head, because the rules strictly forbid giving golems internal organs like sparks or processors.

As a result, the golem was very light because it was essentially empty inside, so even when it moved it did so very quietly for a mech its size. Orion had been startled the first fifteen times the golem would appear completely silent beside him. On the sixteenth time, he called the golem Prowl.

Prowl is basically not a real mech. He has no spark, he has no need to eat or sleep. His only and primary task is to serve Orion. Thanks to the artifact, he is freakishly intelligent, not only compared to normal golems, but to normal mechs as well.

Orion keeps his origin a secret from everyone except Ratchet and Shockwave (because Shockwave was the one who taught him how to create golems), so all the mechs in the Order are convinced that Prowl is just Orion's very tedious assistant, not...you know...a walking puppet who has incredible intellectual abilities, but almost no emotions or conscience:)

[mikkeneko]

having now read all of the coffin rescue AUs, the hurt/comfort gremlin in me is blissfully sated, but finding myself a little saddened at the lack of Xianle Trio in them, particularly Feng Xin (this is why I probably won't get much into TGCF fandom, really -- I ship the wrong things.)

so in order to take this trope and, as usual, make it as stupid as possible, I am imagining what if Feng Xin were the one to coincidentally stumble over Xie Lian in the coffin? Because he'd certainly help him out! -- he cares too much to do otherwise! -- but he would be so incredibly unequipped to deal with the fallout of All Of That.

i am now picturing Feng Xin having broken the coffin and absconded with Xie Lian, possibly back to his palace, puts him on a couch and is now just staring at the absolute catatonic mess that is post-coffin Xie Lian while bluescreening and panicking because he doesn't even know where to begin. does Xie Lian need a bath? food? medical treatment? all of the above but where does he even start??

so, I'm thinking possibly in his panic he calls Mu Qing, because he simply doesn't know who else to turn to, and does a very bad job of explaining what he needs. and mu qing is just, ughhhh, why am I getting dragged back into this bullshit, but he goes over to Feng Xin's place complaining all the while, I am not a servant any more Feng Xin, you cannot ask me for favors just because you can't comprehend basic manual labor, it is 100% not my job any more to clean up after Xie Lian and this complaining monologue lasts right up until he lays eyes on Xie Lian and goes HOLY FUCKING SHIT

i am not going to write this

[scarletwritesshit]

📏 Dr. Ratio x Reader 📏 If I were Smart, I Would've Titled This with a Math Pun

This wasn’t the sort of rigorous stimulation that you were hoping for, but it was Dr. Ratio who suggested it, so you couldn’t exactly expect anything different. You blinked at the page that was laid out before you, dumbfounded. The problem on the page was rather complex even by your standards, almost as if it were written in some otherworldly script, which had a fair chance of being true. No worries, just break it down piece by piece to solve it? All...seemingly one thousand parts of it.

Dr. Ratio stood across from you, staring directly at you while tapping his foot on the ground with his arms crossed. You were quite surprised that he had not yet donned his stone-faced disguise, and quite frankly, you wish that he had. He was eyeing you up with a gaze that just screamed, "I could’ve had this solved 20 times by now, incompetent idiot." Which, was probably true.

It took a painfully long time, but at long last, you solved it, or at least you thought that you did. Your fingers went limp and released the pen from your hand, letting it almost roll off of the desk. You laid your head face down on the desk after circling the answer with a thick yet scribbly circle, emphasizing the results of your treacherous labor. At the sound of Dr. Ratio’s footsteps getting louder, you looked up at him to still see the same glint of disappointment in his eyes.

"I take it that you have reached your final conclusion?" he asked.

Without saying a word out of fear of premature judgement, you pushed yourself up from the desk so that he may freely observe and critique your work.

He skimmed over every extra page of your work quite rapidly, and in what felt like mere seconds, he pulled out a red pen and promptly marked your paper.

"Zero marks," he said bluntly, writing a massive red X over your answer.

You had a sinking feeling from the start that this was your inevitable fate, but hearing the actual words from him somehow stung a lot worse.

"In fact, I do not believe that I have ever seen anyone mess up so…horribly," he commented. "In fact, there are mistakes within mistakes, all among the most preposterous that I have ever seen in my life."

"...Thanks?" you said, as personally having the honor of making the most mistakes that Dr. Ratio has ever seen was better than your efforts simply being disregarded.

"My words were not intended to be interpreted as compliments, but rather, as a degradation of your overall performance and attitude towards your studies.”

"So?" you said, indifferent, "I’m still thankful that you spared some of your precious time to personally put me down."

"There must be something deeply wrong with your cognitive functions," he said, twirling his pen around between his fingers, "for I have never seen anyone quite enthusiastic about insult and utter disappointment."

"There are far easier ways to call me stupid, you know," you said, mockingly.

"Is your intelligence truly so challenged to the point that you cannot comprehend my direct words without the most basic of forms being utilized within a sentence? Why, you could not solve the simplest of problems if I asked of you!"

"You think I’m that dumb? Want me to prove it?"

"Oh, I believe you plenty, but since you proposed the offer, might I ask you for your interpretation of the answer to one added onto three?"

"I’m dumb, remember? Simple terminology, please," you said.

Despite his usage of overly complicated roundabout terminology, you knew exactly what he was asking of you. He was asking you to add 1 and 3 together. A simple question that anyone, even someone with your abilities could answer with ease. But, you wanted to see just how far you could push Dr. Ratio, before he caught onto your methods of toying with him. His patience was impressive enough considering how by now, you would’ve expected him to simply mark your paper with a failing score and walk off without another word.

With a noticeable twitch of frustration in his eyes, Dr Ratio said, "Fine, what is one plus three?"

"Five," you said, quickly and confidently.

"Are you positive that that is your final answer?"

You nodded yes. Dr. Ratio, no longer holding back his annoyance, leaned in closer and lifted your chin up with the back of his pen, forcing your eyes to meet his.

"You cannot possibly look me in the eyes and say that so…matter-of-factly," he said, frustrated.

"Oh, but I can,” you said with a smile. “And I just did."

"It is arguably a miracle how you have made it this far, not just in your studies, but in life as a whole. The fact that you fail to comprehend the most basic of tasks when I personally made the decision to allow you to study beneath me is well beyond my comprehension."

"Really? I was led to believe that you knew everything."

"It is physically impossible for one who is temporarily existent to learn all that our universe has to offer. Your stupidity, however, stretches even beyond the limits of our universe.”

"You’re saying that I’m so stupid that I’ve managed to become incomprehensible? Even to you?" you said with a proud grin.

"Regrettably, yes," he said, allowing the pen to fall down between his fingers, freeing his hand so that he could hold your chin up, "unless I perhaps study you for myself?"

"Study me? What is there to study, if I am as empty-headed as you claim?"

"How someone with intelligence comparable to a warp trotter has made it this far."

"But warp trotters’ lives don’t involve solving math problems, or whatever you’d call what you gave me."

"Which is why it is so baffling that you have made as much progression in your life as you have," he said, his grip tightening around your chin. "If it were anybody else, I would have promptly excluded you from my teachings."

"Anybody else?" you asked, tilting your head. "You mean, you’re going through all of this just for me?"

Dr Ratio went silent for a moment, and the grip that he had on your chin became a bit gentler. His eyes narrowed, yet his overall expression became softer. He seemed to be at a complete loss for an appropriate response to your claim. Either he was so baffled at your stupidity that he couldn’t quite find the words to express his annoyance, or you simply caught him off guard and red handed. The latter seemed more likely, as if your suggestion was truly so preposterous, he wouldn’t have wasted the time in putting you down.

"...A most fascinating conclusion," he finally said.

"Sounds like I got you now."

"I do have to applaud you for deciphering me in such a way, despite how you greatly lack otherwise."

"And after all of that, you still think Im an idiot? The answer to your question is four, by the way."

"Did it truthfully take you such an extended period of time to arrive at the correct answer?"

"No, I knew all along."

Knowing how he was the one outsmarted now, Dr. Ratio accepted defeat with grace, and laughed a little at his defeat. It wasn’t a laughter intended to put either of you down, but rather, a genuine expression of amusement, perhaps at himself for allowing such a situation to become so comedically blown out of proportion.

"Toying with me as a jest, I see. I will admit, it was rather clever of you to do in such a way, yet I still feel the need to observe you further."

"That is an unusual way of saying that you want to spend more time with me," you said with a laugh.

"Perhaps, but if it was nothing more than a jest, does this mean that you do not require my assistance with the problem before you? It seems an awful lot of effort to put into feigning intelligence, or lack thereof."

You lifted your face up from his hand and turned to look at the papers on your desk, with a large red X marked on your answer on one of the sheets. Right. You had completely forgotten about that.

“No…that I actually put my best effort into.”

“I shall see that you put your best effort forward into it during our second attempt together,” Dr. Ratio said, walking behind your chair. “Now, let us start fresh.”

He instructed you to tidy up your initial attempt and set it off to the side while he took out a fresh sheet of paper with a problem identical to the one you previously attempted on your own. He reached for the pen that was still dangling at the edge of the desk and laid it parallel to the side of the paper. As he loomed over you, you thought that he would be behind you the entire time, having to hear him critique every little mistake you make directly against your ear.

Your assumption was proven half correct when he leaned over you, placing his hands on opposite sides of you and practically pinning you to the desk. You looked to your side to see his face directly at your shoulder, able to feel his every breath against your face. Dr. Ratio smiled with an enthusiasm that seemed far too great to be suited to the likes of a basic education.

“Now then,” he whispered, “let us try our first time together.”

[bitethedemon]

Daggers, Poison, and Shiny Things (Lucanis x Reader x Illario): Chapter 1

Next Chapter ->

Link to this fic on AO3

Tags: Slow burn, De Riva Reader, Eventual Smut, Messy Love Triangles

Fic summary: You lost everything in Rivain: your family, your home, and your hopes of ever becoming a seer. Treviso offered you revenge, but you were not prepared for the loneliness you would find amongst the Crows. The busiest assassin in Antiva became your only friend. That is, until he died and left you alone to pick up the pieces of yourself and his devastated cousin.

Imagine then, that your dead old flame shows up after a year, very much alive, with a very loud demon at his side and a hot new boss, while you have to explain that you are now dating his cousin. Don't you just hate it when that happens?

(A really messy Lucanis/Named!Reader/Illario love triangle set in Treviso. Lucanis/Rook isn't the main relationship, but reader is jealous as fuck about them)

You had been called River amongst the Crows for so long that you had almost forgotten your real name. It had been a stupid joke from when you were just a fledgling that had stuck. ‘The Rivaini de Riva’ had at some point turned into ‘River de Riva’, and that became who you were. Viago would always say that you were just as unruly as your namesake too.

Viago had found you in a sanctuary for the poor in Treviso five years ago.

…well…

That was the official story you had been ordered to tell the others and especially Teia. The real story was that he found you in a whorehouse. You were barely a human being by the time he found you. You had spent months in captivity by the Antaam.

They had burned down your village, killed everyone, and taken everything from you. They brought you with them to Treviso, but they were unsure what to do with you. It was bad luck to kill a seer, though the same superstition had not bothered them when they killed your grandmother, your mother, and all of your sisters.

However, you were not going to point out the flaws in their logic or tell them that you never got to finish your training. You needed to stay alive so you could get your revenge.

You used your time wisely. The elders of your village had always praised you for being observant, and by the gods you were going to mentally note down every word your captors said, how they said them, were they went, when they came to your cell, when they left, when they took a shit. Everything.

Viago kept an eye on you in the meantime and when they gave you over to the whorehouse, he swept in and presented revenge to you on a silver platter. The information you gave over to the Crows resulted in the downfall of the camp that had taken you. You became a de Riva that same day.

The Antivan Crows had not forgotten that the organization had roots stemming from the Chantry though. It was a tough pill for a lot of the Crows to swallow. They looked at you and saw a savage witch that spoke to demons and let spirits possess her. You did not fit in.

Even worse, you were utter shit with a dagger, much to the dismay of Viago. You were hopeless as a fledgling. Viago even hired mages to teach you more ‘appropriate’ magic, such as the way of the Spellblades, but with no luck.

You were no good at following orders either, having never been used to taking orders from a man because of the matriarchal society in Rivain. It was driving Viago up the wall. The two of you were constantly fighting and it was a wonder that he did not give up on you entirely.

He stopped your training after you had learned the mere basics. Instead, you took to poison-making. That was what you found out that you were good at, so you were left to do just that. You liked that better anyway. You were left to do what you were good at, and Viago did not get grey hair prematurely. Everyone was happy.

Except most of the other Crows, of course. They still kept their distance from you, though it mattered less when you were free to keep mostly to yourself. You had your own little laboratory to study and make poisons for everyone else in.

That was how you met Lucanis.

Lucanis was barely ever around. Being the most expensive assassin the Crows had to offer, he was always busy. You had never even met him until he was one day standing beside you in your laboratory. You had jumped at his presence and almost dropped a vial of wyvern poison on the floor.

“Three vials of Quiet Death, please,” he said politely. “If you’re not busy, of course. I can wait.”

You had blinked at him in confusion. No one ever came into your space except Viago.

“I’m…sorry…who are you?” you asked.

“Oh, forgive me,” he said and bowed his head slightly. “Lucanis Dellamorte. I have a difficult time keeping track of who I have met and not.”

“Oh,” you said quietly and looked him over. “You’re…yeah. I’m River. Sorry. Usually people go through Viago, instead of coming in here…”

“Why?” he asked plainly without a shred of judgment in his voice. “Quiet Death is a simple poison, no?”

Because they all hate me, so Viago hides me away here.

“Because…” you began. You had no answer that didn’t sound pathetic, so you changed the subject. “We are out of Deathroot, unfortunately, but I can make you something else.”

You began looking through the supplies.

“Do you have a weight estimate on your targets?”

He thought for a moment before giving surprisingly specific estimates. It was great to hear someone who knew what they were doing. If you had a gold coin for each time you had heard ‘small’, ‘average’, or ‘big’ as a weight estimate, you would have been a rich woman. Every question you asked was given a detailed answer by him.

He watched you closely as you were working, as if trying to figure out what you were doing.

“What are you making?” he asked in a curious tone.

“It’s uh…a mix of things,” you admitted. “It’s a Rivaini recipe, but I’m improvising a bit since I don’t have all the ingredients. Don’t worry though. It will work.”

“Oh, are you the Rivaini that Viago keeps talking about?”

You gave a tight smile and a small nod.

“That’s me,” you mumbled.

“Your name is River de Riva?” he asked with an amused smile that belied image of the serious master assassin that she had heard so much about. “He is going insane, you know? I have heard him describe you with many colorful phrases.”

“He does that,” you mumbled and carefully dripped the toxin into the vial you were working on.

“He says you can’t fight, but it seems you are good at this,” Lucanis said and watched the careful movements of your hands. “Did he teach you?”

“Well, first of all,” you protested slightly and put a lid on the vial to shake it. “I can fight…just not in any way that he finds acceptable. Secondly, no, poison-making was a part of my training back in my village. Viago just showed me which ones the Crows specifically use, since he doesn’t like me using the Rivaini ones that work perfectly fine. Which is why I never made you this.”

You handed him the first vial.

“Understood,” he said with a smile.

You began shaking the next one and then shook your head.

“Sorry for ranting,” you said. “I rarely get the opportunity.”

“It’s fine,” he said and studied the liquid in the vial. “You promise me that this will work?”

“It will.”

You handed him another vial and shook the last one.

“You said you received training before joining us,” he said. “As what?”

You froze for a second. The conversation was going so well, and this man seemed so nice, and now you were going to ruin it. You were sure of it. You sighed quietly.

“As a seer,” you replied reluctantly. “Though I never finished my training.”

“A seer?” he asked. “Interesting. Why did you stop?”

You look over his face for any trace of judgment. You found none. It took you by surprise.

“I didn’t.”

His brow furrowed ever so slightly at your reply. He didn’t understand. You handed him the last vial.

“My home was destroyed, and my family were killed by the Antaam,” you explained, trying your hardest to not to sound like a sad, pathetic mess. “Seer training can take almost a lifetime, and it’s taught by the women of your family. I am the only one left, so I will never finish my studies…”

His dark eyes softened when he heard, as if the words had hurt him to hear. There was some recognition of pain in his eyes, and you would only understand much later where it came from. He bowed his head slightly.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

He mumbled his thanks for the poisons and promptly left the laboratory. You mentally hit yourself over the head for the entire day for opening up in that way to him.

A couple of days later you found a history book on Rivaini seers on the table in the laboratory when you came in in the morning. It would not help you finish your training, but you appreciated the thought more than anything.

That was the beginning of your relationship with him. You quickly learned that Lucanis was a crow in the literal sense: he left gifts and shiny things. That was his love language. He was not good at talking about his own feelings, though he did not mind talking about yours when the need arose. Lucanis did everything for you to not feel alone.

Half of the things he brought you, you had no idea how he even got his hands on. He would not tell you either. He always brushed away your gratitude. In the beginning it was mostly gifts that he insisted that he had simply stumbled upon. Later, the gifts became more personal. He even learned to cook Rivaini food just for you, which he would bring when he visited.

You adored him. It was hard not to, even though you knew he was simply being nice and that him being a Dellamorte meant that anything beyond friendship was no more than a naïve dream. Family was more important than anything to Lucanis, and he would be damned if you did not feel like you belonged to one, even though he seemed to be the only willing member for a while.

Eventually, more and more of the Crows started accepting you, simply because Lucanis did. You were introduced properly to Illario as well. You had always seen Illario as a rude bastard, but because of his cousin’s interest in you, he began warming up to you too. Illario eventually began flirting despite Lucanis’ interest in you. Or perhaps because of Lucanis’ interest, you realized later.

Either way, Lucanis was not fond of the situation, but he never said anything other than a few friendly warnings to you about how Illario treats women. Lucanis obviously cared and at the end of his life it only became even more obvious.

There had been an event at Villa Dellamorte that someone of your rank would never have attended had it not been because you were friends with Caterina’s grandson. Lucanis, Illario, and you sneaked off to the wine cellar sometime during the evening. At the end of the night, Illario and you were drunk and Lucanis was tipsy too.

You only remembered the night in fragments. You know that Illario flirted relentlessly with you that evening. You didn’t want Illario, but in your drunken stupor, perhaps you reciprocated. You weren’t sure. You only remembered that Lucanis was uncomfortable, torn between not wanting to be there and not trusting Illario enough to leave you alone with him.

You vaguely remembered Illario chuckling into your ear and then feeling his lips on your neck. It was when his hand ran up your thigh that you remembered sobering up and flinching slightly.

“I think I should get you home, River,” Lucanis had said and promptly gotten up from his chair.

You felt Illario huff against your neck before leaving a small bite there. You moved away from his touch.

“Why?” Illario asked and turned his head to look at Lucanis. “We are just having fun.”

“Illario…” Lucanis said firmly.

“She doesn’t want to go home, do you, River?” Illario said and put his arm over your shoulders. “Just a little seer possessed by spirits,” he joked with a smile and looked at Lucanis. “If you are tired, you can go. I will be sure she gets home safe.”

Lucanis looked directly at you.

“Do you want to go home?”

You nodded and got up. You stumbled slightly and Lucanis offered an arm for you to lean on. You did not even have to look back to see the hateful look Illario gave him. You could practically feel the tension in the air.

“You always get what you want, don’t you, Lucanis?” Illario said with disdain. “As if your intentions are any purer than mine.”

Then Illario mumbled something in Antivan that you did not quite catch, but Lucanis certainly did. There came a low growl of anger from him, and he led you to the staircase up and out of the wine cellar before turning to Illario.

“Go upstairs,” he said to you. “I will be with you in a moment.”

You stumbled up the stairs. The second you closed the door you could hear them arguing loudly in what was no doubt very colorful language. You had never heard Lucanis like that before.

When he came up and started to lead you home, he was deadly quiet for the longest time. It made you slightly nervous and you weren’t quite sure what to say.

“Are you..mad?” you asked, slightly slurring the words.

“Yes,” he answered curtly.

Another long pause of silence.

“At…me?”

“No, River,” he said, his tone softening slightly. “Not at you. At Illario. He acts like a child sometimes.”

You nodded and looked at his face as the two of you walked, trying to figure out what he was thinking. You often did without much luck. He noticed you staring and gave you a gentle smile.

“Not far now,” he said.

You kept walking. When you got to your house, you gave him the key. You could barely look straight. He unlocked the door for you to enter. When you saw the staircase up to your room, you gave a deep sigh. Lucanis took the hint and helped you up to your room.

“I didn’t mean to, you know,” you mumbled. “For that to happen, I mean. I don’t—”

Lucanis quickly caught you before you fell backwards down the stairs. He mumbled something in Antivan and held you by your waist from behind like a parent trying to teach a child to walk.

“I don’t even like Illario,” you said, continuing your drunken babbling. “I should have done something…”

“It’s not your fault,” he said and helped you up the final steps.

He opened the door to your room and sat you down on your bed. You looked up at him.

“Thank you for getting me home,” you said. “And even bringing me in the first place. I’m sorry it became such a mess.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” he insisted and pulled the blanket on the bed aside for you to get in. “It’s nothing.”

“You always say that,” you protested. “It means the world to me. Everything you do. I need you to know that.”

He gave you a smile.

“You are drunk, River,” he said and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Can I trust that you won’t throw yourself down the stairs in the middle of the night?”

“I don’t want Illario,” you mumbled.

“You have already said that.”

“I want you.”

His eyes softened at your drunken admission. He looked over your face in almost comical confusion, as if it had not been the most obvious thing in the world that you liked him. His eyes flicked to your lips for a second and you leaned forward.

“No,” he said gently and put his hand on your shoulder to stop you. “No, no. None of that.”

Your heart sank and you must have looked like a beaten puppy to him. His rejection was a knife in your heart. You felt ridiculous for even thinking that might have been where things were going. He gently brushed his hand over your hair.

“Not like this,” he said gently. “Goodnight, River.”

He squeezed your shoulder and left.

You had kept on replaying that night over and over in your head. The mental hangover had been insane. It did not help that you did not hear from him for about a week after. When he finally came, it was early in the morning, and he sneaked up on you in your laboratory. You weren’t sure what to say when you saw him.

You tried to say something, to get any word out of your mouth, but without any luck. You became even more speechless when he walked right up to you.

“I have been thinking,” he said. “Since last time.”

At least five excuses were already at the tip of your tongue, waiting to spill out in a jumbled mess.

“Did you mean it?” he asked gently.

The excuses died on your tongue before they could ever make it out. You couldn’t lie. Not to him. You swallowed hard and nodded, readying yourself for another rejection. It never came.

Instead, he looked at you with those warm eyes of his and placed a gentle kiss on your lips.

You froze completely for a long moment. When he broke the kiss, you finally snapped back into reality and leaned in to kiss him again properly. Your heart hammered in your chest. You felt truly alive for the first time since you arrived in Treviso.

It was only a week later that he died.

You were inconsolable. To have everything taken from you, just to be given a sliver of light in your life and then have it be taken away again. The only other person you could talk to who would understand was Illario, who was trying his hardest to drink himself to death. You and Illario found an odd solace in each other during that time.

Though even when you started dating him, it did not fill the hole in your heart of losing Lucanis.

In the evenings you would sneak off to read all the books Lucanis’ had given you on seer magic. You learned to contact spirits, but you could not find the one spirit that you wanted to talk to. Needed to talk to.

This obsession only made you feel even worse. You were Illario’s now, but even then, you were still obsessed with the man who he had been forced to compete with his entire life. Even in death, Illario lived in Lucanis’ shadow. The guilt kept you up some nights, but you could just not let him go. There was no closure.

It had been over a year now.

You were hunched over a tome on seer family lines in the laboratory, when you really should have been working instead. You kept reading the books he had given you. You weren’t sure why. Perhaps, you simply felt as if it was a way to honor him.

“River,” you heard softly from behind you.

You quickly shut the book closed and stashed it under a shelf. You fiddled with some equipment, so it looked like you had been working.

“What do you need, Illario?” you asked.

“River,” the voice called again.

It sounded odd. As if he was sick or something. The tone was all wrong. He sounded like Lucanis, you realized.

You felt a hand on being laid softly on your shoulder and you turned around. You turned white as a sheet and time seemed to stop.

You clasped your hands over your mouth and your legs gave in. You slid down to the floor and looked up at him. You couldn’t breathe. You frantically reached out to touch his leg to check if he was solid or just a figment of your imagination, and then you sobbed.

He crouched down and you clung to him.

“I thought—”

“I know,” Lucanis said and squeezed your arm.

As you were crying your eyes out, a grating, hissing voice flowed through your ears all of a sudden.

“Smells like earth. Poison roots and wyvern spit.”

Your eyes darted up and widened. Behind Lucanis stood a copy of him with grey skin and eyes that glowed purple. You knew immediately what that was. It smiled at you.

“Seer!” the demon said with excitement. “She sees. Hears…”

Your mouth fell slightly agape. Lucanis looked at you.

“You can see him?” he asked urgently.

“By the gods, Lucanis…” you mumbled quietly and looked into his eyes. “Who did this to you?”

“Help us. Now,” the demon said.

[mayakern]

Why are the clothes you sell so expensive :( I totally understand you need to make a living and all but I don’t think I can drop $50 on one shirt

i totally understand!! and it’s a fair question. thanks to big retailers and, in recent years, fast fashion, most people have been intentionally distanced from the cost and labor that goes into making our clothing (and just about everything else we consume)

basically, when you are making something, the more you make of it, the less it costs to make a single unit of that thing. that may seem counter intuitive, but this is for a couple reasons: 1. the more you make of a single thing, the more streamlined the process becomes and the faster and more skilled workers become at a particular task 2. when you make a lot of something you can buy your materials in bulk, reducing the cost to manufacture a single item 3. when someone places a really really big order for something, they have a lot of bargaining power because if they like what they get, they are likely to return with another large order in the future, and if they put the factory under contract, that is steady, guaranteed work and reliable pay.

i typed this up for a different question recently but it applies here as well so i’ll just copy paste:

of course, if you sell a higher volume, you can not only negotiate a lower PPU (price per unit) based on volume of sales (a factory will make more money from your business if you buy 10,000 shirts for $10/piece than if you buy 1,000 shirts for $12/piece*) but you can also get away with a lower margin because you’re expecting to sell more units to customers. imagine selling 10,000 shirts for $25/ea instead of 1,000 for $35/ea. even with a profit margin of $15/ea instead of $23/ea, you would only need to sell about 1,534 shirts of your 10,000 to make the same net profit and you’d have almost another 8500 shirts you could keep selling.

*these are not real numbers just an example for easy math and to show how stupid manufacturing math is

it’s also much, much cheaper to buy pre-dyed or stock fabric than it is to custom print designs. most large retailers use fabric that has been bulk produced. each of our garments is custom printed because manufacturing bulk custom printed fabric usually STARTS at around 500 yards (way more than we could use for a single design) and a fabric printer starts around $15k and takes up a bunch of room and uses a lot of electricity.

i run a small business with my wife. we do our best to find ethical labor and to pay our employees well, which contribute significantly to our overhead costs. we’re never going to compete price-wise with fast fashion or walmart or even with target. we couldn’t even fathom functioning at 1/100th of their volume. it’s totally understandable that not everyone can afford this or will think it’s “worth” the cost and the things i make are not necessities. i won’t even be offended if people call me overpriced because i know that most people just don’t know what goes into this stuff.

anyway this was long but i hope you found it informative!

[ladyloveandjustice]

Winter 2024 Anime Overview: Metallic Rouge

Metallic Rouge

Premise: There are a robot-alien-whatever race called Neans and they're really oppressed and all that, you've heard about Detroit Become Human you know how it is. Rouge is a Nean who's been tasked by her brother with killing the Immortal Nine, super powerful Neans who want to not be oppressed and are willing to kill the humans that use them as slaves. Rouge's partner is Naomi Orthman and she's pretty fun. Eventually, Rouge sort of starts to wonder if ruthlessly killing her own people who are fighting oppression might be a bad thing actually.

Man what a mess. Kind of a fascinating, ambitious mess, but it's so bad. (If you're a fan, I encourage you not to engage with this review, you have better things to do than upsetting yourself for no reason).

I was attracted to this because like, it's focused on two women with really cool character designs! And they get to fight and be cool and have a vitriolic best buds kind of partnership! Naomi is pretty charming. The show does often LOOK good, and there's some genuinely cool animation moments, I'll give it that.

However, I realized fairly quickly that the story was a hodgepodge that didn't seem to have much of a grasp on even the basics of writing, but by that point I wanted to see what stupid plot twist it'd pull next. I don't know if it was a good decision but it sure was a decision I made. It means I get to write a review where I can be mean which is always easier than trying to convey how good a show is, I guess because less pressure.

The story starts in media res in a very confusing way. It does (attempt to) explain things a bit in later eps, but you never really stop having the feeling you've just been plopped in the middle of an ongoing story. I think it's very likely, that like so many shows, this was supposed to be a 26 episode show but it was cut down to 13 because anime originals sadly don't get to be that long anymore.

I don't think a longer runtime would have made the plot less stupid and frustrating, but it probably would have made the show a little better and some events have more impact. But rather than cut some events to let the story breathe, the show insisted on cramming a ridiculous amount of plot twists into a short runtime, meaning they never had time to land and you had no reason to care about most of the characters.

The approach to the Neans was a total mess especially. Very badly written for the most part. The Neans are literally slaves. Because of the Asimov Code (literally naming it that in universe is pretty funny I'll admit) they have to do whatever humans say, and most of the humans ruthlessly abuse them, use them as shields when there's danger, often steal their life giving nectar for kicks and leave them to die horribly, the police gun them down all the time, and also a huge amount of them are in a forced labor camp on Venus where they either die from the horrible conditions, (often falling directly in lava or being irradiated or whatever) or they just work until their bodies give out. (It definitely doesn't help that two of the Neans we see killed most horribly are Black-coded.)

DESPITE ALL THIS, the story inexplicably tries to both sides it for most of the anime. Some of the Neans are actually really evil because they'll do violence to escape their oppression! That's so bad, they're just as bad as the humans, they're really mean and randomly murder their own allies! Rouge is genuinely presented with the dilemma of "you can free the Neans and maybe they'll rightfully want revenge and kill some humans and society will ~be in chaos~ or you can just let your own people continue to be enslaved and horribly killed and abused every day. And she's like "hmm I dunno. Both sides have a point. yeah I think freeing them could be bad". Incredible. (Granted it does come around a little in its conclusion when some characters randomly change their minds, but it's way too little too late)

If you couldn't tell, Rouge is a really nothing character who it's hard to sympathize with thanks to her baffling choices, except for in a couple episodes that were genuinely charming and fun and made you think "hmm maybe it would have been fun to see these characters get into some shenanigans". Naomi at least has a fun personality, and I had a little bit of crush before her character mostly went down the tubes with everyone else.

Naomi and Rouge's dynamic could be pretty fun and was definitely the best thing about the show (and the only times Rouge showed any personality was with Naomi and a spoiler character), but the show insisted on speedrunning their conflicts and separating them constantly despite that dynamic supposedly being so central to the story, so.

But really, as I said, the most entertaining part of the end of the show was seeing how many ridic plot twists it could cram in, most of which had no impact because you didn't care about the characters, they didn't make much sense, and there was very little to set them up. EVIL ALIENS, EVIL FAMILIES, THIS BORING CHARACTER HAS SECRETLY BEEN PULLING THE STRINGS BECAUSE REASONS, that kind of stuff.

But I have to leave off telling y'all how one plot twist in the final episode is undone LITERALLY 30 SECONDS LATER because of something a character did off screen. also it's done two minutes before the episode ends. It's so funny I have to tell you.

SPOILERS

---

Rouge pressed the button that frees all the Neans. Then a character who hadn't done much but I guess is the big bad now pops up and is like "Rouge you freeing the Neans was all part of my plan because you activating the device actually infected them with an EVIL PROGRAM AND NOW THEY WILL FIGHT FOR THE EVIL ALIENS!! Rouge was like "wha?" but then the Neans glowing red evil eyes immediately turned off and the brother was like "actually I anticipated it and hacked it offscreen they're actually free." And the villain just leaves without really reacting. Amaaaazing.

---

So yes, wouldn't recommend this show unless you really like watching trainwrecks, and despite how amazing a trainwreck it is, there are stretches where it's just a slog.

(God, this review ended up longer than I thought. So much carnage and crumpled metal to describe. But now I'm officially free.)

[cactusnymph]

I'd love to see hand holding #33 with Shadowheart/Lae'zel, where Shad is out of magic and Lae'zel is bandaging Shad's hand?

"Tsk'va, hold still!", Lae'zel snarls while Shadowheart does her best to bring as much distance between the two of them as possible while Lae'zel for some godforsaken reason tries bandaging her hand. This is ridiculous. This is absolutely not who they are. They fight, they insult each other, exchange threats and jabs until someone else has enough of their bickering and tells them to shut up or forcefully separates them to different sides in the camp.

And gods, Lae'zel is bad at this.

Her clawed fingers are rough and calloused and her movements jerky as she cleans the gushing wound on Shadowheart's hand with the expression of someone who's thinking about where to cut a deer carcass to grill it later.

This is a person who is a trained killing machine and knows nothing of healing and stitching things back up. And yet.

And yet here Lae'zel is, her face scrunched up in frustration, her eyes sharp as she stares down at the wound that simply won't stop bleeding.

"Why are you even doing this", Shadowheart asks, her voice as flippant as possible. She feels a little dizzy from blood loss already and whenever she has no magic left she feels terrible drained and heavy. "Don't your people just kill children when they're not good enough at holding a sword?"

Lae'zel stares at her with obvious disdain before she spits on the ground next to Shadowheart. Then she goes back to her bloody work.

"My Queen has betrayed me and all I have learned since I was a hatchling has been a lie. You make people whole again every day. No one here is disposable. I have learned this from my travels. Now shut up and let me work."

Shadowheart is stunned into silence. No witty jab comes to her as she watches Lae'zel clumsily work her way through bandaging the wound. It looks absolutely atrocious and Shadowheart is sure that it'll bleed through quickly, but there's a lump in her throat that prevents her from speaking.

Lae'zel holds up Shadowheart's bandaged hand to look at it from every angle. She curses quietly in a language Shadowheart doesn't understand and looks terribly displeased with the results of her labor.

Shadowheart can't unsee the fact that Lae'zel is still holding onto her hand even though the bandage is done, no matter how badly. She swallows and looks away from Lae'zel's stupid face.

"I can show you", she finally says, intent on making her voice sound as impassive as possible. Lae'zel narrows her eyes at her.

"Show me what", she asks.

Shadowheart thinks that she must be mad, but aren't they the same, in a way? Both having lived a lie for so long, now trying to unlearn all of it?

She clears her throat and points at the bandage.

"How to make a decent bandage. How to patch people up. If you don't think that would be a waste of your precious time."

Lae'zel glares at her, but she doesn't immediately refuse and after what feels like a lifetime she finally lets go of Shadowheart's hand. This is probably a bad idea. A very bad idea. But Lae'zel has surprised her more than once during those past few weeks after the revelations at the Creche and Shadowheart... Shadowheart might be a little impressed with how hard Lae'zel works to change. Maybe she wants to keep up. She doesn't want to be left behind, doesn't want to lose against someone like Lae'zel.

She can basically hear Wyll's voice saying that this is not a competition but Shadowheart has to pretend that it is to stay sane when she looks at Lae'zel and feels her skin go up in flames and her heart stumble. This is the only way for her to chase Lae'zel and make it make sense to herself.

"Fine. You will show me the ways of this. Patchwork", Lae'zel commands, turning her nose up. Her wrong use of the word patchwork makes Shadowheart snort out a laugh and she giggles into the hand covered in an already bled through bandage.

"What?", Lae'zel hisses.

"You can just call it medicine, you know. Or first aid."

Lae'zel rolls her eyes.

"It doesn't matter. I will come to you later. Now you sleep."

And without another word she gets up and stalks away, leaving Shadowheart behind.

feel free to send me more of these<3

[iknowshocker]

Do you believe kai is redeemable?

hi anon!

the short answer, in case it's all you'd like is: yes, 100%.

i either agree with or understand all of his choices, even the ones that suck. so in a lot of ways, to me, he never needed redemption.

the long answer, if you'd like to know why:

first i think i have to explain my general thoughts on kai as a whole, because some of my personal headcannons differ from others in the fandom.

i've never, not from the moment he showed up a feral little gremlin munching pork rinds in the prison world, considered him to be evil.

Kai lies/disregards things and masks 90% of the time, and yet he's always super open about what was done to him growing up. "they called me ____", "i remember them doing ____", etc. it would be super easy to paint his childhood any way he liked, and yet he doesn't. he knows what happened to him was wrong, and he's going to remind you every chance he gets.

i think he developed sociopathy as a coping mechanism after years of abuse and isolation. i headcannon that they were a homeschool family, which just furthers his lack of social interaction. if he was allowed/forced to help at all, it was doing the manual labor chores while Jo was the one handling anything that involved physical touch.

as an older sibling myself, him being the oldest boy specifically and the complexities around his feelings of wanting to protect them/being jealous/getting robbed of his birthright haunt me.

if you want to get into my true roman empire (those freaking christmas sweater photos) then i don't think he outright hated any of them growing up. sure, they were annoying and loud and sometimes sticky, but they were still his siblings. those feelings of resentment obviously grew stronger the sicker he became, but like, he never hurt anyone until he realized he was being lied to.

so i view the initial murders as a mental break, and i doubt he was in full control of himself at the time. if it was planned out, why didn't he drain someone's magic? killing them the human way is yes, a lot more personal, but it just doesn't make sense to me given his drive for magic based power. you'd think he'd want to go into the merge charged up, you know?

speaking of the og merge: did they expect him to just ... not ask about it and be cool with getting told no? like the fact that no one foresaw him lashing out so violently only proves to me that he wasn't *that* scary growing up. joshua probably had the ascendent prepped and ready to go, and he was just waiting for an outburst bad enough to use it. shame it took that, my guy. i feel we could have handled this whole thing a bit better.

i think kai was probably obsessively dedicated to his magical training leading up to 1994. i take "been practicing my whole life" very seriously, lol. he wanted to prove that he could do it, and prove the coven wrong for doubting him. i imagine him hoarding objects to drain and being super freaking annoyed that even Jo stops letting him borrow what he needs to just do basic work. we find out later that Valerie wore a necklace she could siphon from when she needed magic, and you're telling me no one thought of that in modern day?? enchant the beeper, for gods sake.

despite all that, he ended up being the strongest witch in TVD next to bonnie, and that was with him being mostly self taught. he's stupid good at voiceless magic, which i've always taken to mean he's a very instinctual wielder. he doesn't need the verbal spells, he's strong enough to just will the magic into listening.

"i had a soft spot for one of my sisters" and the repeated use of "sissy" for jo, make me wish we knew more about them as kids and how she let herself be turned against him. they have so much in common and such an obvious twin connection that lasts until the very last moment when he stabs himself and chooses to bleed out right beside her on the floor of the ruined church. Jo (and Bonnie) are the only people that seems to be able to get through to pre-merge kai. then post-merge kai is laser focused on making things up to them. i wish we saw more of him realizing he suddenly had a full range of emotion and what that did to him.

that sweet spot of post merge/pre 1903 prison world is the closest we come to kai's actual personality (imo). he's so shockingly, desperately earnest, while still being darkly funny and a little too aggressive. it's my favorite version of him.

those scenes show us the side of him that so obviously wants to be needed, even if it means hurting himself to be helpful. yes, luke is the reason why the emotions manifest, but luke is also not down for self sacrificing (ironic as hell, given his choice to merge). luke routinely tells the mfg to get fucked, so to say that he's the one making kai risk his life/the coven to help bonnie is just untrue. i think kai is trying to earn a spot in the group, and if they'd given him one, he would have been insanely useful.

like i said i think he masks 90% of the time, and the confidence that he shows is often hiding a huge insecurity over feeling like he's not good/strong/smart enough. there is always going to be a part of him that is still that scared little broken witch locked alone in his room, begging to be let out. i don't know how to view him as "hot bad boy who f*cks" because that's just not how i've ever seen him. don't get me wrong, i love those fics as much as anyone, but it's just not true Kai to me.

look i know some of you are like, hey op go back to when you said you agree with his choices, so here we go:

we know that the parker kids grew up being taught "coven over family", but what does that even look like inside the house? do they love each other but feel conflicted about it? is there constant fighting over who is closest to their parents? is it just anarchy? no matter what you think, it's clear they're all deeply traumatized.

kai has every right to be angry over the og merge, and lashing out makes complete sense. say it with me: murder is not okay BUT what better way to show joshua he's not messing around? if he's used to acting out for attention, what happens if he breaks something that can't be put back together this time? if they've been raised to think that family doesn't matter, why would any of them even care?

it's horrible, flawed logic, but it's there.

look me in the eyes and explain to me why it's okay when Daddy tries to kill you, but when it's your brother suddenly it's this big unforgivable crime, Jo. i'll wait.

Liv makes some of the most realistic decisions in the show to me, including the fact that she sides with Kai. unlike luke, she points out how they have every right to be mad at Jo. after sending Kai away, she abandoned them to an abusive father, (not to mention moved across the country with a new name to make it harder to ever find her!!) leaving them stuck fulfilling a merge that wasn't theirs to begin with. good for you for trying to get your brother on the throne livvie-poo 👏🏼 let him make the hard choices so you can run off with tyler and live in the woods 👏🏼

the parker's also make a lot of comments about how if kai is let out, he'll go full homicidal maniac and kill everyone just for fun. and yet, every murder we see him commit is a means to an end. again, in case you missed it the first time: murder is not okay BUT they act like he's some random spree killer when he's just ?? not ??

every murder/crime he commits has a clear reason, even if a lot of them are small/petty.

the taxi driver: he couldn't pay the fee

the random college kids: he needed to get into the hospital to see Jo

the grill manager: he was hungry, the guy was in his way, and elena was unconscious over his shoulder, lol

the coven murders/stabbing Jo: he needs to hold onto power, and they've given up on him yet again. at this point, let's just burn the whole thing and start over !!

there are so many characters in TVD that actually kill without reason, feeling, or second thought. (including enzo, bon-bon, so jot that down). while i'm not diminishing how violent kai can be, i certainly don't lump him in with characters like klaus or damon.

this is a slightly unpopular opinion especially amongst people that don't ship Bonkai, but i view everything done in the prison world as mutual retaliation. bonnie and kai are fighting. i'm not excusing his behavior anymore than i'm excusing hers, but she quite literally killed him not once but twice.

once they're both out she feels endless hatred towards him as a coping mechanism to give herself something to focus on so she doesn't break, and i wish !! so badly that it was used as a way to bond them. like who better to help her navigate violent magical outbursts then mr "killed half my family in a fit of jealous rage" himself?

we could have seen them grow together, navigating standing up for themselves in healthy ways and encouraging each others strengths, but no.

ill die on the hill that if bonnie knew what kai did on her birthday we wouldn't even be having this conversation, anon. I don't think he expected anyone to actually 100% forgive him, because at the end of the day he also knows he's made some huge mistakes/poor choices. but if specifically Jo or Bonnie had said something like "i see that you are trying" i think it would have been enough for him to stay on that path.

i don't think kai likes being the bad guy, its just another means to an end. if he can't get what he wants (or what he feels he deserves) by asking, he'll take it. and yes, showing off and being scary does give him some sort of thrill - but it's also the only way he can get them to look at him.

listen you don't even understand the things i would give to see him realize the heretics were once siphons. to realize they were geminis and that it's basically a coven gene !! to finally know he's not the only witch to be born like this !!

imagine getting to hear lily tell him there's nothing wrong with him ?? that she's sorry his parents kept the truth from him ?? that he didn't deserve the childhood he had but she's happy to help him now ?? i truly don't know if i could handle it.

kai is so completely desperate to be part of a group that it ends up blinding him and making him vulnerable to attack. i guess i just don't know how to see a character like that and not believe in them.

alright, as you can see, anon, im not great at short answers and i clearly think about him too much. it doesn't help that im currently working on a book series with an MC inspired by him 🙈 the brain rot is real and i fear it may never end. hope you enjoyed this ted talk tho!! thanks for being my first ask ✨

[bitchesgetriches]

Punch Burnout Right in Its Stupid Face With Our New Burnout Workshop

In recent years your humble Bitches have been hired to give a few live, in-person speeches and workshops. We always ask the organizers to set a topic (since as you know, we can talk for hours on everything from our chickens to how everyone in the world can be categorized as either a Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard or a Dr. Richard Kimble from the 1993 classic The Fugitive). And we give our spin on whatever they suggest.

Then something interesting happened. During our closing Q&A sessions, no matter what the topic of our presentation was, the conversation with our audience would turn towards the same issue.

That issue was burnout.

Our call to action

Now, we already knew that burnout is a widespread issue. After all, we live on this planet. We’ve delved into the topic quite a bit over the years.

But seeing the pain in people’s eyes and hearing the desperation in their voices was a whole new level of fuckery. Awareness dawned on us that burnout is, for many people, a life-swallowing emergency faced without help, support, or even basic human compassion. These poor people are like sailors lost at sea. They use all of their strength to just keep floating for another moment. They’re too exhausted and depleted to swim for land, even if we told them where it was and how to get there. Our voices were reaching them far too late.

We’ve always felt it was our mission to help people. So when we saw for ourselves how many talented, bright, good-hearted people burnout was grinding into a fine powder, our new goal became clear.

Now, at long last, we’re unveiling the fruits of our labor.

The Burnout Workshop, presented by Bitches Get Riches and written by us, is complete. Unlike in the past, you don’t have to attend an in-person event to hear it. It’s available to everyone, everywhere—and you can take it right now.

The Burnout Workshop

Based on exhaustive research and hundreds of conversations with friends and readers suffering from the effects of burnout, our first-ever publicly available online course includes:

A full-ass movie-length video you can watch (and rewatch) at your own pace.

A thick and juicy 75+ page workbook crammed with exercises, personality tests, guided questions, tips, resources, and more.

Empirical research on what burnout is and why it’s so uniquely life-ruining.

Real, actionable ideas to heal yourself with no boot-licking and no bullshit.

By taking the Burnout Workshop, we want everyone to…

Practice identifying the major red flags of burnout, including the three that scare us the most.

Understand the biological processes that make stress both harmful and beneficial.

Know the physiological and psychological effects burnout causes within our bodies

Discover the 5 personality traits that make you easier to manipulate and prone to burning out.

Learn to spot the 5 environmental traits that all toxic, evil, soul-sucking shitholes have in common.

Identify your self-sabotaging behaviors and try exercises to reverse them.

Develop habits, tactics, and scripts to defend yourself from toxic environments.

Laugh politely at our obscure references, cringey gags, and gallows humor.

Learn what powers you already have, and how to wield them to get what you need.

Stop taking personal responsibility for systemic problems.

Internalize the truth that it doesn’t have to be this way.

Walk away with concrete plans for change.

Can I get a lil’ sneak up in this peek?

Hell yes. We’ve posted the introduction to the Burnout Workshop to YouTube to whet your whistle—a phrase whose mysterious and frankly disgusting origins we’ve never considered until just now. Watch it below.

How to access the Burnout Workshop

You can access the video and included workbook together through our Patreon page. You do not need to be a Patron to sign up! Click the link below to get started.

Get The Burnout Workshop Now

If you like it, please share it. We want to reach as many people as we can, and we could really use your help spreading the word!

We made the Burnout Workshop as affordable as possible. The obscene prices random influencers charge for AI-crafted horseshit is both professionally shocking and existentially terrifying to our frugal selves. Not in our workshop, friends. Like Gaston’s bare chest, every last inch of this is covered… with love. It represents hundreds of hours of our labor, including video editing from our amazing producer Ducky, who we take pride in paying a fair living wage for her efforts.

Big major super duper THANK YOU

Over the last few months while we worked on the Burnout Workshop, the blog and podcast took a backseat. (Maybe you noticed we republished a lot of stuff and haven’t even released season 5 of the podcast yet.) This project has been a ton of work for us. We did it in the hopes that this new endeavor could help us reach readers who need help desperately, and aren’t gonna get it elsewhere.

Throughout this process our Patreon supporters stood by us, funding our work and keeping the lights on around here. And they did so without complaint, despite a sharp decline in the frequency of new content. We can’t thank them enough for their trust and patience.

Which is why our Patreon supporters got the workbook for the course FOR FREE a few weeks ago! In addition, Our Moms (the highest tier of Patreon support) are getting the workbook and the course video entirely for free (we love you, Our Moms). So if you’re interested in the course, but you’d rather support our mission with a continuous donation instead of a one-time purchase, you can do all of that through our Patreon.

From the bottom of our bitchy little hearts… thank you. We’ll be back with more of our regular stuff soon enough!

Get The Burnout Workshop Now

[tyk-tyk-tyk]

How about, for the meme: good ol’ lodger, and Maxwell if you want to do another!! :3

Sorry this took so long to answer! Going to start with The Lodger, and I’ll put Maxwell from Don’t Starve under the cut!

First impression

I remember the most striking thing was the art style, his eyes were absolutely haunted and I loved them. His design alone is what got me looking at the game.

Impression now

He’s such a little gremlin. I mean, come on, look at him! He’s such a little shit being an unreliable narrator, and I think that’s my favorite character flaw I’ve ever had the pleasure of observing and writing.

Favorite moment

Which leads into the next point, I think the most haunting part of the game was The Lodger constantly contradicting himself and abruptly saying “Help me.” with no other explanation. I know the gameplay is clunky, grindy, and completely unfair—But I will ride and die for the atmosphere at least.

Idea for a story (Mentions of disease/rotting/minor horror elements! Skip to the next one if you don’t want to read this!)

I’ve had this draft called ‘doppelgänger’ in my WIPs for ages, but it was meant to be The Lodger finding a wounded stranger out in the woods and nursing them back to health. There’s a funeral custom about draping things over mirrors, so The Lodger hasn’t seen his own reflection in years. Prattles on and on about how this poor stranger should have taken better care of themselves, they look uncanny! Their eyes look hollowed in and their skin is a deathly pale and their red hair looks like it’s falling out—

By the time he realizes it’s a living and breathing copy of himself, he’s already invited it into his home, and he has to decide what to do from here on out.

Unpopular opinion

Is this fandom even big enough for popular opinions I think the lodger would be an antivaxxer in modern times, you know bro would PANIC about conspiracy theories

Favorite relationship

Him and his bed (and if you’re not with the government, I’ll ship him with basically any other man even if it’s toxic just to try and experiment with what he would do in a relationship. Please for the love of god keep him away from the girl in the woods though her Steam card is LITTLE GIRL not grown woman, that’s his daughter not his date)

Favorite headcanon

I always struggle to decide which is more heartbreaking and plausible, if The Lodger is some guy that a nearby town/city sees every now and then and never sees him again for months on end, or if no one even knows he exists and his house is just a stop in the middle of nowhere.

Though while we’re on that note, I think regardless he is insanely lonely and LOVES company of any kind. To the point where it can be kind of overbearing. But he’s trying his best.

Now, about that Maxwell guy

First impression

I haaated him, but only because I always imagined him smugly laughing every time I died to something stupid in Don’t Starve. Everything felt like concentrated spite towards my journey to the throne (that never even got past King of Winter)

Impression now

I like him so much as a character. I remembered unlocking Maxwell with cheats just to run through his dialogue in game (even though I could have just looked at the wiki, I wasn’t smart okay) and watching someone else get to his throne. It was such whiplash for me to realize that someone who (allegedly) was taunting me was actually just in an insane amount of endless misery.

Favorite moment

“Even the king is bound to the board.” Such an iconic line for me.

Also any time he whines about physical labor or his clothes getting dirty always makes me laugh

Idea for a story

It’s hard to say, I don’t tend to do a lot of writing for Maxwell since my amazing and most best friend in the world often writes him. Though I’ve always found the concept of Wilson interacting with William funny. I think once upon a time an ancient moon ago, I wanted to draw a mini comic where Wilson and William were spying on Maxwell using bush hats. Wilson goes ‘Alright, go talk to him.’ and William replies ‘No way, I scare me!’

Sigh, simpler times.

Unpopular opinion

I haven’t interacted with the fandom in LITERALLY YEARS so this could have changed, but I think people like to try and pull like… Internet cancel culture on this old man. Saying that just because he was evil once, he’s evil forever. And while I don’t think he’s entirely sunshine and rainbows, the man was poor and I get why he literally made a deal with the devil. You can tell that he never wanted at least Charlie to get involved, and he quite literally was gaslit back into the dark side, so. I dunno, be kind to your elders or something.

Favorite relationship

Initially I was so off-put by Maxwil, but as I’ve gotten older I think it’s one of my favorite opposites attract tropes.

I love Maxlie more than anything though. 10/10 friends to lovers to enemies to lovers, no notes.

Favorite headcanon

I think he likes to do magic tricks for the kids. Or anyone who will watch and won’t make fun of him. He may put on a refined gentlemanly front but I think he’ll always be a nerd.

[balestrem]

Quiet quitting is one of the most bizarre things to me to be discussed in 2022. 

It’s mostly bizarre to me, because of the entitlement older generations have towards younger generations and the ignorance they enforce upon my generation, especially in Germany, where I grew up.

You have older generations, usually the generation of my parents, calling us lazy, unable to work well under pressure, etc. I’d like to give insight into the fact that our school system was designed to recreate a work-like state from the age of six. You go to school, learn stuff, go home, do unpaid labor, called “homework”, which has to be good, otherwise you’re labeled as stupid and unable to keep up and have to repeat a year in school. I partially had a workload of 12 hours per day, not because I was poorly structured, but because I had four school subjects per day, with four different kinds of homework which all required at least 30, if not 90 minutes of investment, to do homework properly. Add to that my dyslexia and you get at least 30 minutes more than others. But even non dyslexic students sat there for hours doing homework. I even had my mother do my homework for me, because the work load was too much. Let that sink in.

Then you have a system that rewards pupils who are never sick, by pointing out how there is one kid in class with the most sick days, as though it is their fault that they get sick. Meanwhile you have underpaid and overworked school staff who cannot handle instances of bullying accordingly, resulting in pupils being more sick, especially mentally due to continuous bullying. You create a place that is literally designed to be hostile to human nature, by forcing people to sit still for multiple hours a day, move during breaks to „prevent health problems“ in the future, but give so much homework that hobbies and personal interests can barely be done, and usually if one performs bad at school they have to quit their hobbies because they need to focus more on school or they have their parents cancel their hobbies for them (if they could afford a hobby to begin with), resulting in more stress, because of less possibilities to destress. Then you have heavy school bags that literally fuck up people‘s backs for life, because they have to carry like 10-20kgs of books and folders per day (this was my reality, I kid you not). Then we had no proper food at our cafeteria (for the first four years we had no cafeteria at all, but had to go to school until 3 or 4pm, with no proper food). 

Then you have weird power dynamics with teachers who bully you and abuse their power and give you bad grades, just because they think a person with dyslexia should not get the chance to go to university, thereby giving them bad grades, by not answering any of their questions during exams (also something that happened to me and other students as well). And if it’s not dyslexia there is another aspect that a teacher will hate about you and mock you for and treat you like you’re less than a human being than others.

Then we entered a school system that was changed by graduating one year earlier to go to university sooner in Germany, but the school books were not ready for that so we had to carry two books per subject at times, because the subjects we discussed required two books of two school grades. We had no coherent teachings and had to read a lot of stuff at home, by our selves, because the curriculum to teach us properly was not yet developed. And we were asked to understand it all and there was never time for any questions.

Then we finish with a degree, have terrible payments, cannot afford a reasonable lifestyle and are forced to suck it up. Then we have shortages in almost every area, a pandemic we went through a financial crisis, a war that effects the economy and destabilizes a lot in other countries, we have a climate crisis which no politican seems to take seriously enough to do proper change, basically my generaiton in Germany will not have any rent and no positive prospects for the future. Far right extremism seems to be on the rise world wide.

I had my first burn-out in fourth grade and had to go to therapy, because school life was so tough and nobody did anything. I had a parent at home who created immense pressure and guilt if I failed, who regularly assaulted me verbally.

And now our “generation is just lazy”? That shoe just doesn’t fit.

[detransition]

from guideonragingstars & furiousradfem

female experiences:

being told it’s normal if your clothes hurts you and you have to endure it

being told it’s normal if sex hurts you and you have to endure it

not finding basic information about your biology and sexual organs through most of your life

being told that pain is a normal part of your life

being told that if you are a “good girl” you’ll endure it without complaint

being told you should be grateful for the rights you have and finding out in the past you wouldn’t even have these rights

getting brutally shut down if you try to stand up for yourself

getting forced into a role of serving men because “it’s woman’s job”

having your labor dismissed as worthless and stupid

but you have to keep doing it anyway or you’ll get punished

anything you do is considered worth less and generally dismissed

realizing men’s work is praised and glorified even when they do harmful and environmentally destructive work for selfish purposes

realizing you can’t do anything about it and feeling less worthy even when you do more work and more necessary and useful work

having your compassion used against you

having your energy and emotional labor used by men who demand you to listen to them and comfort them and stroke their ego

being laughed at and invalidated and called slurs and insults when you try to talk about your own problems

being called selfish, dramatic, crazy, delusional and damaged when you expect basic decency and compassion

being treated like you’re insane and hysteric if you display any kind of anger at how badly you’re being treated

feeling infuriated at double standards and for how harshly you’re judged and punished while men can get away with anything

doubting your own senses and considering if you really are crazy

being ignored as a human being, your intelligence dismissed, only thing that seems to have any worth is your body but you get shamed, objectified, sexualized, used, violated, predated on and hurt

hating your body and wishing it was a different body, one that nobody would hurt and violate

feeling completely helpless and alone

thinking of detransition? you are not alone

[edwad]

"but it definitely doesn’t mean i think that anybody at the barricades is too stupid to learn this stuff if it interested them." this is where you called people stupid, implying that it applies to people who can't learn theory in the way i was talking about. also i don't know why you think i moved the goalposts. my claim was that marxism is too esoteric for building a mass movement. if you really want i'll swap out "marxism" for "marx's critique of political economy" (1/?)

which i am still unpersuaded of. the counterexamples you listed tended to read shitty leninist/maoist secondaries and probably had garbage understandings of communism as when people get paid the full value of their labor or whatever. in other words they didn't understand it and fucked up. that will always happen because you're never going to get an entire society to understand a text that people who have studied their entire lives still disagree on the basic thesis of 2 centuries later (2/2)

me: they're not too stupid to learn this stuff

you: i can't believe you're calling them stupid

this is ridiculous. and the way i was describing people not needing to spend extra time or effort to learn these things (without being stupid for it!) is the same way you were talking about it when you said "they can overcome that barrier, but [...] that takes an amount of time and dedication that few will elect." i don't think they have to put in that level of time or dedication and my point was that i don't think they're stupid if they don't do this. you are deliberately making something out of nothing.

anyway you've apparently moved from marxism to marxs critique of political economy (which is not identical to marxism!) as a way of denying you've moved the goal posts (?)

and your second message is just wild to me for like a hundred reasons but in particular this doesnt change the fact that they mobilized around marxism. if you want to change your claim to say that they weren't animated by marx's critique of political economy as you specifically understand it, (since being paid the full value of labor-power is in fact *an* interpretation of it, whether it's one you agree with or not) then sure. you can have that extremely trivial point. but now you're holding an interpretive problem over everyone else as if the real issue is simply that they come away with "garbage understandings" for the things you apparently think you know. or even that consensus on the book is a necessary prerequisite for communism, something nobody has ever claimed except you.

so to be clear, i have never claimed that a scholarly consensus knowledge of capital is necessary for every individual before they can enter the pearly gates of communism. if that's all you've been trying to say this whole time then congrats, we agree on something which never even needed to be said. and which, i suppose, you never even did say! because that wasn't your initial claim, it's just what it's turned into while you've scrambled to project your own elitism onto me

[cosmica-galaxy]

Really weird AU idea i have.

I've been consuming a bunch of HFY + humans are space content on Reddit lately, specifically the humans bonding with their robot/AI creations to the point they became sentient. Also noticing the scrap ton of similarities Cybertron have with Earth's culture in TFA...and my mind just pop into a new AU idea, where humans already achieve FTL travel and now they're just going crazy with creating new things. And created cybertronians. (They weren't suppose to be sentient at first, but by the power of pack bonding they broke the codes and gain consciousness)...i ran out of ideas from here- but it call the 'Organic Creators' or 'Human Heritage' AU. Basically humans are cybertronians' creators.

Is this stupid? Yes.

Do i hate myself? Double yes

Am i gonna regret this later on? Triple yes.

Will i stop myself from sending this ask? No.

You know, I had a similar idea but in reverse.

Once upon a time I imagined an AU where humans were created to serve cybertronians in an alternate timeline where the Golden Age never ended and Cybertron flourished.

I imagined that humans were developed by Shockwave to be helpers and workers, and put to work on Cybertron doing most of the typical things that all humans can do. Mainly labor, transportation, and working 24/7 by utilizing shifts and such. Most of the dangerous work was still handled by Cybertronians. Though, humanity lacks autonomy. They can't speak/write/read, think critically, dream, and their wills are suppressed into a serving role to the Cybertronians. They usually follow orders directly from their overseers with no conscious. However...one human begins to get smart (either by universal consistences or by the will of nature itself) and starts to learn from the cybertronians, but pretends to be just as mindless as their dutiful humans. They blend in, but things start to happen around the place they serve in that Cybertronians can't necessarily explain and the smart human manages to evade suspicion for a long while, even while under the surveillance of Shockwave. I cleverly decided to call this idea the "Genuine Intelligence" AU. It was mostly inspired from how in one continuity, a younger Shockwave decided to impregnate some asteroids with experimental ores he made. One of these ores was dubbed "Ore 13" and was planted on an asteroid that eventually evolved into Earth. In fact, the ore was so catastrophic that whatever evolved there could've been LETHAL TO TRANSFORMERS. I quote the wiki:

"Ten thousand years ago, Shockwave arrived on the thirteenth world, prehistoric Earth, where the "Ore-13" brought by his rocket had successfully reacted with the local geology to the extent that the planet threatened to become so rich in Energon that its environment could become lethal to Transformers. Shockwave created global dampers that he then injected into the planetary crust to regulate the reaction, allowing the ore to safely develop into Ultra-Energon in the present day." Who's to say that Shockwave's experiments could've accidentally created humanity...or even created the unintentional progenitor of Cybertronians? I always had a hunch that humans and Cybertronians were mirrors of one another and that in some possible continuities, humans and cybertronians are SO similar...that they may even be related to one another. In essence to your AU, I like think that your idea isn't even that far-fetched in the Transformers lore nor in the realm of possibilities that could potentially happen in the transformer universe. It is odd that two species that evolved apart from one another with extremely different backgrounds would be so similar to each other. I would say there is a connection there...wouldn't you agree?

[super-hero-confessions]

I am so tired of people acting as if actions, singular or otherwise, should define a human being forever and always like people can't make mistakes, do wrong and learn better, or change what they do and who they are.

I am so tired of people conflating logical explanations and rational deep thinking that tries to explore causality with making "excuses" for obvious repercussions due to circumstances, or condoning evil shit like it doesn't matter and there's no way to prevent it because they're "just monsters".

This thinking is what's wrong with society.

This thinking is what leads ex-cons to call it quits on reintegration and commit more crimes to get thrown back in jail because hey, they may be used for slave labor, may be mistreated and dehumanized, but at least they can eat.

Let's see what happens when you make a mistake or do the wrong thing and not a single goddamn person lets you breathe for it, coming down on you like you're the devil showing your own stupid humanity for a single second. God forbid you have an unpopular opinion in a closed minded space.

I am so tired of common sense being uncommon. I am so tired of the hostility towards anyone who's not a perfect angel, like that's a realistic standard to hold humans to? Or fuck it, canon ideas that make a fave not a perfect angel or even "drawing a line" at one specific crime.

I am so tired of people being so damn media illiterate and incapable of basic reading comprehension. I am so tired of the double standards and hypocrisy.

I am so tired of people being "confused" by media literally designed to make them think. I am so tired of people being obtuse and purposely misconstruing a message or making up bullshit to villainize an author or their work.

How does anyone fuck up author's intent so badly? What is so hard about differentiating reality from fiction? Context clues are taught in 4th and 5th grade, how are people this willfully ignorant? Are they just trolls?

Is it just the constant battle of nature vs. nurture, of perception and personal bias that leaves people blind and unwilling to see past their own preconceived world views?

Why are we still here? Just to suffer?

Ducks are fucking rapists. Yet they are still a well loved animal for many people.

Most if not all animals are murderers. Hamsters frequently eat their own babies.

Nature has a way of working itself out to promote survival, regardless of the cost. If you treat someone like an animal without giving them the chance to define themselves and who they want to be, they will act like an animal. They will survive.

Fucking Megamind taught us that!

If you're someone that thinks a villain like Homelander, who has literally been through the worst possible shit a human being could ever go through and then some, a guy who is clearly, very clearly mentally unwell, is completely beyond saving or proper help and treatment?

You have lost the plot and are part of the problem. Ableist as all hell too.

Please, for the love of God people, get yourselves educated. There is so much that's easy access in the age of the Internet. I promise, education and understanding is how we make the world a better place.

Not all this... Performative stupidity.