#even if we don't like them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

liones-s · 7 months ago

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I've been trying to pay more attention to when things feel easy. I spent so many years forcing things - relationships, interests, routines - that it was difficult to imagine things could or should feel differently. now that I've starting experiencing things that feel natural, I'm learning that hard work and forcing things are not equivalent. Doing well in a class I enjoy takes a lot of work, but it's not miserable. Swimming makes me tired but it brings me joy. When I tell someone I like spending time with them, they suggest fun things to do and it just happens to be an activity I love. Relationships and hobbies and passions take work, but they can feel good. Noticing when it feels good can help us find the way towards what's meant for us.

#this is intended for things that we have agency over #cause there will be classes and jobs and interactions that we just have to do #and sometimes they will be forced because they're a requirement #even if we don't like them #but i think hobbies and friendships and passions can align with us #this is also completely my personal experience and not intended as a universal maxim #also if nothing feels natural to you yet #i'm way into my 20s and this is only something i found in the last like year #so please give yourself grace and don't give up #personal #mental health #studyblr

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marzipanandminutiae · 4 months ago

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what's with the weird glorification of smoking that's come back lately

like

I've seen so many posts that paint opposing smoking as some impossibly Loser-ish or puritanical stance and I really don't get it

it makes you, your house, and your clothing stink, destroys your teeth, and gives you lung cancer. opposing it is. Correct. obviously addiction is very complicated and quitting can be hard, but just saying "smoking is gross and harmful as a practice (including vaping)" is True and Right actually

some of you have never grown up hearing about how some beloved family member died a slow, agonized, wasting death of smoking-induced cancer, or watching it firsthand for yourself, and it shows

#anti smoking #'omg the kids don't smoke anymore so sad!!! sharing a smoke is sociable and Good Old-Fashioned Friendship!!!'#what are you even talking about #I don't care how cool it looks or how ingrained it is in the culture wherever you live #it's BAD. I thought we all KNEW AND AGREED ON THIS #not bad like 'well don't do it to excess and you'll probably be fine' a la drinking- though that has its own issues #and we're way too cavalier about them #but bad like 'no part of doing this in any amount is anything but terrible for your health'

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year ago

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sick of this anti-aging obsession. let's go in the opposite direction. i want more characters who are hardened & grizzled & have a face lined with the harrowing tribulations of time--and then halfway through the narrative u find out they're 27

#they aren't even a chainsmoker or anything they just don't wear sunscreen are chronically dehydrated and have witnessed the Horrors #u know. like most of us #ideally we first meet them in a bar where they are guzzling from a tankard like a mysterious and dangerous stranger #later we find out it's not ale they're on a kombucha kick #they've been making it in their basement w/ the help of a college roommate who quit a biochemistry phd to become a beekeeper

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kaahmbem · 4 months ago

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legend has it that the young witch circe and the once beautiful nymph scylla shared a complicated past...

#art #cirscylla #that's the ship name i like for them best anyway #circe #scylla #greek mythology #welcome to my greek mythos yuri #DOOMED YURI #circylla #epic the musical #do i even tag it as that? i think i should cuz epic is the reason im so into greek mythos #jorge said we might get a spinoff about their backstory and im insane over that #i know it's probably going to be about how circe loved that one guy but still a girl can dream #this is them but younger! before circe turns scylla into the horrific man-eating monster that even poseiden fears #there's just so much potential here #consider a younger and much warier circe landing on the island for the first time after being outcasted by her family for her magic #and she meets scylla there who back then is a much happier and playful person #enemies to lovers to enemies again #i don't know if they ever make it to lovers or if they were only an almost #they're about to have the worst breakup in greek history #im rambling in tags MY BAD

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umblrspectrum · 20 days ago

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happy solvermas

#cause t. no actually if christ is the son of god and the solver is god then it'd be like uzimas #quick sketch i pulled out of my ass yesterday to see if i could get myself out of art block/burnout/whatever ive got going on #v was added after cause i had no idea how to work her into the scene #implied nuziv or something look man im just desperate about this ship #and i dont know how to draw fluff or whatever #im so bad at romance i dont know how to express it #but i've been desperately trying to draw nuziv for the past months #i think this is actually like some of my best linework yet im really satisfied with everything right now #been a long time since i've felt that #turns out the “stop overthinking every pixel of the expressions and just draw the approximation the audience will get the jist” approach wo #ks #something something n is the star of their life. tree light chrismtas #it is taking. All of my restraint right now #to not be So Mean to all of you #You Don't Even Know #I Could Do Something. I Might Still.#art #murder drones #murder drones uzi #uzi doorman #murder drones n #serial designation n #murder drones v #serial designation v #murder drones cyn #i need liam to explain whether cyn and the solver are the same person already so i can tag them appropriately its driving me nuts #oh yeah cyn got a plush core to chew on by the way #the idea of giving her a chew toy was rolling around in my head and i think its a very funny visual so here we are

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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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rocketbirdie · 24 days ago

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face value

#it's autism torment hours for cloud strife (featuring Projection™️)#everybody just assumes the worst about cloud the moment they meet him.#i think all the time about the 'be nice!' -> 'i'm doing my best :(' thing from remake. like. all he did was answer a fucking question.#it burns because i know EXACTLY what it's like to be on the receiving end of that. 'don't be rude!' i wasn't planning on it but ok i guess?#and people getting mad because they assumed i meant something completely different than what i said.#how many times have i asked 'hey when are we leaving' (so i know when we're leaving. god forbid)#only for them to hear 'WAAA WAAAAAAA HURRY UP!!!!!!! I WANNA LEAVE RIGHT NOWWWWW UGGHHHHHH'#like ???????????#we're speaking the same language right??? RIGHT????????#cloud listen bby. just know that i'm always here for you. even if no one else got ur back.#ok i'm better now. at least until the next easily avoidable stupid misunderstanding #ffvii #cloud strife #my art <3

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bacchuschucklefuck · 5 months ago

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class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhfy #fhsy #fhjy #riz gukgak #gorgug thistlespring #kristen applebees #figueroth faeth #adaine abernant #fabian seacaster #my class swap stuff! oh yeah I think I got a tag for that I'll call that #fh class quangle #gna slowly go back and get that tag on relevant posts too. for organization's sake #even tho I didnt really intend this blog to be that kinda blog lmao. we were all just gonna be out here dealin with that at our own pace #anyways uh! they! u know all the lore for the designs already I put em in tags. but otherwise this also collects like the #color keys kind of for these. mostly the things that change between designs #doing this did make me realise half of these are a Lot more consistent in color keys than the other half lol #like kristen's palette stays pretty much the same. and fabian's. the hit's mostly in the construction #a lot of this is overall like an exercise in remembering what high schoolers would actually wear and how to work in Costume pieces #on this point at least I straight up have No relevant recollection lmao all the basic education establishments I went to have uniforms #and outside of school I was. well kind of a shorts and tee guy. so #on that topic I feel like fabian's is the furthest stretch lmao. like if a guy in high school wears the same bright yellow raincoat #to school every day that's like. people would Not like that guy. fabian really is saved by being cute and a rogue #he will still have stans when he's deep in his fishing arc in junior year he's the manic pixie dream bf #anyways uh. things to do! stuff to get done. sleep first tho. have a good night lads #I have not caught new nsbu yet! seems I mostly catch them like two to three days late nowadays.#so please uhh. don't reply on my posts with nsbu spoilers? we are all excited and having fun but that's rude #ok thank u. signing off for the day have a good night #!!

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lucabyte · 6 months ago

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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks #hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature #ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual #isat spoilers #isat #isat fanart #isat siffrin #isat loop #sifloop #THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY #in stars and time #in stars and time fanart #lucabyteart #RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete #they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months ago

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Ghouls night out

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Scopophobia #Don't be mean Lan Wangji - the dead girl aesthetic is a curated one. Support women's rights to look dead!#I have been waiting for this scene for ages...the ghost girl entourage is such a good look for WWX.#And by gods does the audio drama actually do something interesting with one of them.#Namely that we actually get to see WWX talk with them and learn about who they were and what they left behind.#I love necromancer characters but it's way too common for them to be like “Go! Ghost no.145!” like they're a pokemon #and not...you know...someone who had a whole life that they left behind.#I love me a necromancer who has an awareness to whose soul/body they are using. It adds a lot of flavour!#MDZS is a little hit or miss with this. I think the fans do a lot of the work with making Mo Xuanyu a bigger character.#Yi City has this in spades. Even though we don't individually get character backstories #We get many painful reminders about how these 'corpses' were people.#We also get a few lines about how WWX used whatever corpses he could get his hands on (including grandparents - Woof!)#MDZS often (but not always) likes to remind us that every sacrifice and every ghost was a person.#It is so close to nailing the landing regarding the deconstruction of the necromancer character.#Anyhow. You may have noticed the uptick in quality in the last two comics. Rule of three means next one is going to be a treat B*)#See you all very soon!

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corpsentry · 7 months ago

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pick your battles

#my art #my stuff #art #comic #original art #pride 2024 #pride month #trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr #i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe #so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles #this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat #my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc #i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14 #but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020 #from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember #and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery #and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far #and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community #that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean #that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else #so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes #about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves #you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you

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edwardsdeathcabcd · 2 months ago

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i've said it before but it will forever and always make me insane that jacob's ending is to join the cullens for the sake of bella not having to give anything up. they find out jake will be immortal & tied to renesmee forever, so bella gets to smile & say "my family is finally complete! ^-^" but jake already HAS a family. he has a father and 2 sisters. quil, embry, seth and sam are like his brothers. jacob and leah were planning to run away together. he's always been welcome in emily's home, sue has been a family friend since before his birth. bella abandons her mortality by choice because she feels no connection to the people around her, but jacob has really strong bonds. it's clear that every character we meet in la push is like family to him, he's an active member of the community. jake would've graduated high school and been a mechanic, would've grown into a young man. a good friend, a fun uncle, a present son. he's set up to have such a rich life. and he's just magically compelled to give that up. beyond his control, he loses sight of everything, because his high school crush's baby is now the singular most important thing to him. he's perpetually 18 with his perpetually 18 year old girlfriend, running around vancouver or alaska or wherever with the girl who friendzoned him at 16 & her in-laws (who were antagonistic to him for months). and i'm just supposed to say omg yay now he doesn't have to let go of bella! everyone is happy! it's complete madness

#like even putting aside the utter insanity of him imprinting on a newborn (WHICH IS HARD TO PUT ASIDE) it is still CRAZY #like bella was never gonna do anything but be a vampire. from the moment she meets them the only ending for her is to join the cullens.#throughout the series the only thing we see tying bella to humanity is jacob. that's the conflict for her. thats what she must forfeit.#ofc there's charlie but SHE makes the decision that giving that relationship up is worth it to her #bella was never going to do anything else but jake WAS. jake HAD a whole life ahead of him that was taken from him #HE HAS NO CHOICE. HE'S JUST COMPELLED TO DO IT #ugh. jacob can be the Worst sometimes but ultimately he's a victim of the narrative fr #being kinda shitty & unable to get over a girl at 16 shouldn't condemn u to giving up literally every other relationship in ur life #also the phrasing of 'the girl who friendzoned him' in this post makes it sound like i think bella is wrong for that & to be clear i don't #i just mean to emphasize like. how young they are & how trivial their relationship drama would seem to them years down the line #jacob black #twilight #the twilight saga #twilight blog #bella swan #jacob twilight #quil ateara #seth clearwater #leah clearwater #embry call #sam uley #stephanie meyer #smeyer #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #twilight critical #mine #jake

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casscainmainly · 3 months ago

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It's interesting how Batfanon tends to weaponise anger against characters of colour. Damian is either always unjustifiably angry ('feral', 'demon', etc.), or his anger is consistently trivialised as childish/cute. Duke and Cass are on the other end of the spectrum, where they're not even allowed to be angry. They are 'perfect good children', who are perpetually soft and kind. In canon, all three have been justifiably and unjustifiably angry; they've been irrational, they've been righteously mad; and (aside from racist Damian writing) they are angry without being villainised. If our conception of Damian, Cass, or Duke strips them of their right to be angry, then we need to reconsider the way we view characters of colour. Anger is a human emotion - by removing it, or by demonising characters for feeling it, we are dehumanising them.

#cassandra cain #duke thomas #damian wayne #batman #meta #a bit tired of the 'duke and cass are angel siblings' can you tell #it's almost as if cass and duke have to make up for how racist fanon can be to damian #but people don't realise that stripping characters of anger is just as racist as punishing them for it #if jason gets to be pit angry and tim gets to be mad about 'arkham' and robin then damian gets to be mad about stuff too!!#hell even DICK doesn't get to be angry these days... let dick be angry 2024 #just an aside but canon!duke would not have been playing battleship with bruce he would've been cussing him out #read how he first greeted we are robin black lightning AND dick like duke is a hater let's not erase history!

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khaopybara · 12 days ago

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gmmtv's girls kissers hall

AYE SARUNCHANA and RAISARAT PRINEE in FRIENDZONE 2 (2020) JAN PLOYSHOMPOO and PEARWAH NICHAPHAT in P.S I Hate You (2022) JAN PLOYSHOMPOO, JESSICA PASAPHAN and SILVY PAVIDA in The Warp Effect (2022) LOOKJUN BHASIDI and NONNIE PITCHAPORN in Only Friends (2023) EMI THASORN and BONNIE PUSSARASORN in Us (pilot trailer, 2024) MILK PANSA and LOVE PATTRANITE in 23.5 (2024), Whale Store xoxo (pilot trailer, 2024), Girl Rules (pilot trailer, 2024) VIEW BENYAPA and JUNE WANWIMOL in 23.5 (2024) JUNE WANWIMOL and MEWNICH NANNAPHAS in Whale Store xoxo (pilot trailer, 2024) VIEW BENYAPA and MIM RATTANAWADEE in Girl Rules (pilot trailer, 2024) NAMTAN TIPNAREE and FILM RACHANUN in Pluto (2024-2025), Girl Rules (pilot trailer, 2024) KAPOOK PLOYNIRA and PIPLOY KANYARAT in The Trainee (2024) KAPOOK PLOYNIRA, CIIZE RUTRICHA and EARN PREEYAPHAT in Pluto (2024)