#even if she never messaged back
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#well i texted that girl i hooked up with on her birthday#even if she never messaged back#you may never message me back girl#but you won't ever un-squirt 5 times in a row and have to sleep on the couch because your bed was too messy#god she was so confused how she did that too#it was adorable
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Maybe it's a 'study finds water is wet' type of thought, but
considering it's an action movie whose overall plot is "immortal warriors Fuck Shit Up™️", I think it's significant that in The Old Guard the thing that makes Copley pull red strings through his Murder Conspiracy Board and say "[Merrick] doesn't care what [Andy]'s done with [her immortality]" is the people they save, not the ones they kill
Most of the Conspiracy Board is him circling random newspaper headlines and faces on old photographs to (more or less realistically) follow the immortals' treck through the world and big historical events. Which is, in-canon, not much different than putting portraits from different centuries next to a picture of Keanu Reeves and saying "they look the same, clearly Reeves is an immortal!"
But then there are the connections. A little girl holding Joe's hand in WW1 becoming the youngest (and first) woman to be awarded a Nobel Prize for Medicine (suck it, Kozak). Or the grandchild of a family that Andy saved from [something] helping people escape from the Khmer Rouge genocide in Cambodia.
They are warriors. They have fought and been in the midst of countless wars, major or minor, throughout history. They must have killed as many people as they saved... and yet.
It's not them taking out a random warlord or dictator or rabidly hateful politician that has tangible repercussions in history. It's the children and families they get out of war zones, save from accidents, protect from natural disasters. People to whom they give a second chance at life, and grow to change the world (or even just their own world), like a mysterious stranger once changed theirs just by holding out a hand or patching a wound.
I don't know I just think it's particularly neat
#my ponderings#the old guard#I know we all love to play the 'if you could go back in time and kill One Person who would it be' game#but I think a movie that makes it EXTREMELY SATISFYING to see the Bad Guys die -#- having 'actually the best and greatest changes happen when people help each other' as its underlying message...#it means something#I also think it connects to Andy feeling like nothing she does changes anything at the start of the movie#for 80% of her life you could Solve A Problem by Taking Out The Guy Causing The Problem#especially in battle! you kill the general and you win. if you win the Problem Is Solved#but then everything becomes More Complex. the Problems™️ are globalized and/or systemic.#and Winning a Battle means just killing people. it doesn't Stop The Problem (nor really end a war)#so it feels useless#and even when they save people... they can’t stay in people's lives for long because immortality#which means they can never know what happens to the people they save#they don't (and can't) have the full picture
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this is kinda old and i almost didnt post it. i kinda gave up on making a full rainer ref like i did with daniel soooo take this ^}^
this is after 1997 and before 2000 when he went missing for good.
#eyes#my art#petscop#petscop art#petscop fanart#rainer hammond#petscop rainer#i like to think the reason his stuff is in the marks garage is bc daniel nlm was just squatting in there#so now she like refuses to speak to him#mostly bc she only just got care back and they didnt even want to be living there in the first place#same night he was trying to get a picture of care#almost breaking the door down#anna had never seen him cry before so it was jarring#you can imagine why she went no contact#he actually stays in contact with belle for like. a really long time#theyd leave silent messages on their answering machine until she left for college#she reported them missing and nothing came of it#idk why im saying all this LSJSKSJSKSHSJ I PROMISE ILL WRITE AN ACTUAL FIC OR SMTH ONE DAY#autism beam
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Ive just progressively wanted to exist less and less and less in front of others for like years now and on my worst days it really gets to me
#kae.txt#i wish i was smaller in every sense of the word i dont want to be thought of#i cried to my mom and she had to leave the house and the way she said she'd be back sounded like she was really worried id do something and#i hate that i hate it so much i never wanna make her feel like that but i just cant help it im really tired#i hate even venting about it here cause god forbid i get a message about someone worrying about me#makes me feel fucking awful#sorry i started thinking again oops#ill be over it by tomorrow though thats always how this happens
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One of my absolute favorite “cliche” tropes is amnesia fics where reader has been dating character for years, but they forget and then they can only remember dating their ex. So it’s like they go back to the ex because it’s all they’ve ever known, and their current love has to cope with seeing the love of their life in the arms of another guy.
I could read that trope a million times over and never get bored or think it’s too repetitive.
#bonus points with him trying to help you remember but not wanting to like scare you or freak you out???#and even better for like Sanemi when there’s no phones or cameras to show text messages???#or photographs#and he REGRETS not writing you letters so badly then sigh#or like Bakugou not giving up but like caring about your welfare so much that he just kinda watches you with your ex?#cause he’s seen you in the hospital for weeks/months and knows how shit it’s been for you? how sad and lonely you’ve been#and he missed seeing you happy— even if this time it’s at the hands of another man#but he subtly leaves you gifts like your favourite flowers???#like maybe it sparks something inside you? because you tell everyone your favourite flowers are roses#but you find fresh tulips on your bedside table each morning after he visits? and it like grabs at something at the back of your mind???#or he brings you coffee and he’s somehow the only one that gets it right??? but it’s something you’d never order?#like you ask for oat milk but he brings it with coconut milk and it just tastes better? and you’re like I didn’t even know I liked this???#and your ex is just like ‘she likes oat milk’ like MATE NO WE DO NOT#I WILL EAT THIS UP WITH A SPOON AND WOLF IT DOWN YOU HAVE NO IDEA
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you ever realize you never properly learned how to say a character's name, so by the time you finally HEAR it, you have no idea who they're talking about? cause I feel like I keep doing this and it's very confusing to keep being corrected like that
#I have this habit of only reading the first few letters and then completely skimming over the rest of a name#which leads me to just. totally making it up#ko-she-key (koschei from doctor who) and tin-tall-gia (tintaglia from the rain wild chronicles) are my favorite names that I've fucked up#the funniest part is I only sometimes chose to recognize the mistake and fix it#I do not think those two will ever be pronounced correctly. I just. can't. that's who they are to me#plus soz but you're a liar if you're gonna tell me the way I say “ko-she-key” isn't an infinitely more fun way to pronounce it#even if it is... y'know... just not even the same name FFVJVFJ#I'm not tagging either media cause I mean whatever if you find it good for you but I NEEDED to show off how egregious those examples are#I'm being so fucking serious when I said I SKIM over these names. I didn't even know how to spell them I had to look it up#in fact I was so shocked about tintaglia I had to rewrite hers three separate times#I have never in my life paid any closer attention to these names and after this I will continue not doing so#they are “kosheci-said-with-a-hard-c-for-some-reason” and “tintalgia” to me thank you and goodnight#—:*after these messages we'll be righttttt back*:—
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not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it
#i really said “okay big performance in the city square let's make this work” and i did but absolute fuckery of the manager just made me...#and she also used to complain about being an opening act-- like come on that's a nationally-renowned band and we're not there yet 😭#we used to fight a lot though so ack i really should have taken that as a red flag#but i was 14 and stupid 🤷♂️#being solo way better uM i shouldn't say this yet but i got a commission today audhauagah i don't even have a portfolio#fuck guys i'm so so so nervous from big changes in life because uM god i just came from actual hell with various things working to make me#kms#but uH we're uH not too keen on that anymore atm and uH it's probably going to all fuck up after i share that i have good news in life#but yk what#let's keep challenging god#i know he hates me#but we will not be defeated we will strangle him by the tie#AHHHH help me i want to get into music again pls pls pls pls pls#anyway back to my old band manager#she was known for being a shitwad in the scene anyw but i was young and stupid as i sais#and i defended her and rationalized her behavior because “we're friends right”#i'm starting to get why my mom is wary of people i get to know#i'm tbh a fucking idiot i would never admit that elsewhere (nah i do) uM my brain is bouncing off the walls#i took a bargain with 7pm coffee and look where it got me#i was also getting up there in my 5 days of uni absences agsgshags#DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY READ THESE I KINDA HOPE NOW NO ONE DOES#IM KINDA UHHH MY CHILD THERAPIST SAID UNCONVENTIONAL#I THINK SHE MEANT FUCKING CRAZY#sorry#oh yeah i walked tf out the band after that big performance set up just for us because i couldn't keep working with that kind of environment#other bands started flocking to recruit or proxy after i was let go by my famously fucked-up ex-manager LOL#but um i have issues so i'm not among them and i think they get the message tbh#appears and disappears#that is actually my brand
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Dead money: this is an exercise in letting go
Me before playing: I can do that
Me after finishing it: *while crying* I’m so good at letting go
#i just came back to the bunker and elijah left a message for Veronica and it literally made me cry#I DIDNT EVEN READ THE MESSAGE#AND IN THIS PLAYTHROUGH SHES NEVER BEEN MY COMPANION#sobbing#fallout new vegas#dead money
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got asked if I’m interested in management by the big boss
#I spoke a lot in a meeting like 3 months ago and now she comes over to talk to me like a colleague instead of just seeing me as a rando#this is my message to all introverts speak up in those all staff meetings even if it kills you#unless you don’t gaf about the place you work like me at my last job I literally used to never talk#chhapa#but yeah I always sat in the front back in college and it used to scare the ever living shit out of me but I did it and it didn’t really get#me anywhere but I did get over the fear of speaking to rooms full of people
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welp. fix it fic in my notes draft on my phone 😭😭😭
#the quest was. fine.#I am still very happy that they were included as much as they were but#as someone who fell in love with the book#and the complicated MESSY dynamics and multilayered people it portrayed#it rang hollow to me ;-;#there were a few (easily missed) nods to Isseya's choice (or lack thereof) and the impossibility of the situation#but the much more prominent messaging was that Isseya was evil and bad and that *she* had Blighted the griffons#it really came across like she was some sort of mad scientist experimenting on them#not that she wanted to SAVE shrike#not that she swore she would never do it again and then was FORCED TO#or how it literally destroyed her from the inside out both physically and psychologically ;-;#and nothing about her being garahel's brother WHICH#is actually backed up by Valya's fears in the book BUT I would have taken that better if there was more nuance about Isseya's motives#I would have loved to see them lean on Valya more to be the voice of Isseya the PERSON and her life and thoughts#in counter to Davrin's Isseya the MONSTER perspective#like I said it was fine. it wasn't technically *untrue* to the book. it just rang hollow to me ;-;#and I hope that doesn't become pervasive in the fandom bc I can't take that for her ;-; she deserved to rest#I'm not even mad at the idea that this happened to her! but I wish they'd done more about *her* and less about how she was evil#anyway. that's why we have fic#I will fix this for you isseya ;-; and valya#fr if they did anyone dirty it was valya ;-;#but really kind of shortchanged both of them#mer plays dav#pt: incoherent screaming#veilguard spoilers#da4 spoilers
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tag drop ; isande.
( even scorched by fires of war ; i will fly on wings of my own making. ✧ ic. ) isande. ( gold as the rising sun ; she holds her shield aloft to greet the dawn. ✧ visage. ) isande. ( what good is any faith if in yourself you hold none ; be your own devotee. ✧ isms. ) isande. ( through shade & sleet-- through all winter's wrath ; the thistle maid blooms in xanntash. ✧ aesthetic. ) isande. ( born in the dark but her heart never beat ; not 'til light touched her face was she truly complete. ✧ lore. ) isande.
( a message to all the holy temples dedicated to me ; you all really make up any shit huh. ✧ crack. ) isande. ( do not follow me-- do not pray ; choose to walk alongside me and i will stay. ✧ game shenanigans. ) isande.
connections ;
( i'd trade all tales human & divine to turn back time ; for song in your smile & light in your eyes. ✧ isande & finnegan. ) passionfell. ( you seek no god & i never sought to be one ; not demanding or bestowing-- i am asking for a champion. ✧ isande & ankita. ) passionfell. ( you can't wield a sword for me-- i don't carry one ; pledge oath to you & let blind faith be gone. ✧ isande & alwin. ) risingretribution.
#( even scorched by fires of war ; i will fly on wings of my own making. ✧ ic. ) isande.#( gold as the rising sun ; she holds her shield aloft to greet the dawn. ✧ visage. ) isande.#( what good is any faith if in yourself you hold none ; be your own devotee. ✧ isms. ) isande.#( through shade & sleet-- through all winter's wrath ; the thistle maid blooms in xanntash. ✧ aesthetic. ) isande.#( born in the dark but her heart never beat ; not 'til light touched her face was she truly complete. ✧ lore. ) isande.#( a message to all the holy temples dedicated to me ; you all really make up any shit huh. ✧ crack. ) isande.#( do not follow me-- do not pray ; choose to walk alongside me and i will stay. ✧ game shenanigans. ) isande.#( i'd trade all tales human & divine to turn back time ; for song in your smile & light in your eyes. ✧ isande & finnegan. ) passionfell.#( you seek no god & i never sought to be one ; not demanding or bestowing-- i am asking for a champion. ✧ isande & ankita. ) passionfell.#( you can't wield a sword for me-- i don't carry one ; pledge oath to you & let blind faith be gone. ✧ isande & alwin. ) risingretribution.
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One thing I love so much about my job is that it’s no longer an issue if I get sick… I feel like I’m the service / nursing industry I would call my boss like ‘hey I’m sooo sorry but can I please have today off or come in late I have a fever and I’ve been throwing up…’ & that would be met with so much backlash. now I can just email my boss and tell him that I won’t be coming into work because I’m ill and he doesn’t really have a say in the matter.
Like that would be a fireable offense in any of my old jobs. That’s fucking insane to me. Why is this not a policy everywhere
#thoughts#I’m not sick I’m just mildly hungover#I will NEVER forget back when I was a cna#and I was working 7a-3p and I woke up being so fucking sick with a fever#and I sent a few messages to my boss like ‘hi I’m really sick right now but I’m still going in#can you please see if somebody can come in early to relieve my shift?’#and after she woke up and got back to me she told me that not only could nobody cover for me#but my relief wasn’t able to come into work so I had to work until 9 pm#so I worked.#14 hours.#with a severe fever.#for one of the worst people I was taking care of#I feel bad for her bcuz she was nice sometimes but she was impossible for me to lift even when I was healthy#and she got extremely combative and would hit and scream during the afternoon#anyways never again#OH AND THEN ON THE WAY HOME MY BRAKE LIGHT CAME ON HAHAHAHA#I literally pulled over and SOBBED!!!#and I lived like 35 mins away but my mom lived only 10 mins so I drove to her house and slept there#it was just a fluid leak and I was selling the car anyways but omg . omggg
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#just heard back from the breeder i put a puppy application in with and. am pre excited#she's out of town so we'll talk more next week but#seems promising. and we're vaguely staying in the family#we met at the reunion. her dog is Misty's dad and she was impressed with Misty#sooo.... tbd#I'm hoping at some point next year or maybe early 2025. a summer pup would be nice#i didn't love potty training in the snow#anyways hearing back is big news because i initially messaged through their website in October and never heard anything#so my follow up that i sent last week getting a response is nice#i think the website just hasn't been updated because she's responded to things i and mistys littermates have said in the group chat#anyways anyways anyways.... the bf is just like. nothing's even happening yet why are you excited#so obviously i have to share excitement to tumblr
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im just so irritated with my friend, she’s ignored me the past week and she’s supposed to be coming round tomorrow and i dont know if she’s still coming, the time she’s coming or where we’re eating (as I said she could choose). im so frustrated and sad. it’s making me so anxious as I don’t have a plan and I need one but she’s just ignoring me
#why does everybody just… make things hard for me. it’s literally not difficult just to send a text#she often ignores me for days and it’s just like? really is that what I mean to you?#I don’t know if she even cares about me anymore lmao#she’ll be texting her online friend everytime she’s with me. but can never message me back#even when I need her to . like ok?#txt
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#called a therapist………… 😳#they didn’t answer I left a message#I am scared they’re gonna call back and be like ‘we would NEVER accept a new patient I don’t know WHY you think that would happen’#even tho the website says they do#I’m scared!!!#also I called her cause my health insurance portal said she did weekend appointments but her website says m-f soooo#SCARY
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truly one thing about me is im going to bodily protect my friends from men regardless of my own safety
#tucked my friend against my side and blocked a dude from approaching her by literally putting my hand up in his face. back it up sucker✋🏼#will never forget one time i was at the club w my friends n one of them was being absolutely targeted by dudes#and she is a lesbian so i knew she would want truly nothing to do w them#so i was just deftly deflecting them all night#and when i told her abt it later she was like omg i didnt even notice?? im like hell yeah job well done u just had a nice time 🫡#men of the world heed my message: fuck off
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