#even tho the website says they do
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#called a therapist………… 😳#they didn’t answer I left a message#I am scared they’re gonna call back and be like ‘we would NEVER accept a new patient I don’t know WHY you think that would happen’#even tho the website says they do#I’m scared!!!#also I called her cause my health insurance portal said she did weekend appointments but her website says m-f soooo#SCARY
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straya outfit swap
#vtuber#back on my bullshit#(homeland edition)#axel syrios#hakos baelz#holofateswap#holostars#holotempus#hololive#holocouncil#holopromise#some people still get surprised when I say I'm australian#like IN THE KINDEST WAY POSSIBLE... IT'S ALMOST ALWAYS IN MY BIO. ON EVERY WEBSITE#even tho I mostly put it there bc people were like MINI GO TO SLEEEEPP and I was like THIS IS A NORMAL TIME TO BE AWAKE!!! IN MY TIMEZONE!!#axel always getting the midriff-bearing outfits like#that's just how the swaps turned out but why am I always drawing his tummy#CONGRATS ON THE NEW OUTFIT KING#sorry the first time I'm drawing it isn't even on you#i'm so behind on everything#i love my australian vtubers tho#hope y'all are doing swell#I'm fighting for my life out here but IT'S GONNA BE OK
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i got reminded of an old post I made saying that nightmare can't be a capitalist and I'm just realizing now that I WAS WOOBIFYING HIM
#the mental gymnastics I pulled to justify his actions were crazy. its easier to just say that he sucks. because he does.#I can't believe it... what CRACK was I on..... with the way he rules things he's almost a dictator.........#and somehow I thought that him just describing himself as a capitalist was too much.#guess I was just scared that people would. idk. yell at me???????? because even tho he's horrible he gets a (somewhat) happy ending?#and. listen man. sometimes I get reminded of people's terrifying reaction to how the diamonds were not given devine karmic punishment-#-in steven universe and I get scared to just put nuance in my writing.#without adding that I'm talking to the utmv fandom on the piss on the poor website.#being misunderstood scares me. and sometimes I get worried that people would mentally profile me for my opinions on fictional characters.#which isn't always a smart thing to do. but it does happen.#to my beloved mutual who tagged me saying that he was a capitalist and I said no.#yes he is 100% a capitalist. no idea what was on.#✏️#🖍️
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the biggest problem with tumblr is that every time i open it i instinctively want to make a text post that says "they call me the flipster. because i do that" but then remember i already made almost that exact post and anyone can easily find it and go "BOOO!! get new material, you hack!!". they probably wouldn't do that. but they could (if tumblr's search decided to work)
#buny text#this isn't even entirely a joke tho#i do genuinely get the urge to post that every time i open this website#it's like. idk. is there an equivalent of a verbal stim where it's just a phrase or word that pingpongs around your head in certain context#but you don't necessarily have the urge to actually say it out loud unless you're very relaxed/comfortable around friends or something#(that second part might just be my self-control stopping me tbf. if i COULD frequently just say 'flipster' out loud i probably would)
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I keep drinking coffee thinking it's gonna make me Productive and then instead of doing the work I actually have to do I just compulsively make spreadsheets :(
#my homework is. not done#but!!! i just realized if i take 2 spanish classes i can have a russian/spanish major instead of just russian#(it's complicated but this would leave me with: double major languages and history with a joint major in asian middle east studies)#(plus a minor in religious studies and concentration in islamicate studies)#first i gotta: relearn spanish for like the third time#but it's ok i'm hopping thru spain in less than a month so i should proooobably do that anyway#man when i was touring colleges my mom was like really dismissive about the idea of double majoring and now i'm here like#How Many Things Can I Stack Up To Get Big Number On Transcript#aaaaaaaand because of ames requirements i did the dumb thing and ended up learning persian while my spanish is still kinda iffy#итак совершилося то что я пытался предотвратить as they say#so i'm just gonna have to study two languages at once next semester... or just keep going thru the cycle of relearning them abt every year#my russian is a big girl it can survive on its own but i now gotta feed the babiessssss#tho ig what this kinda cyclically learning and forgetting spanish has taught me is like#languages are less like babies and more like those lil desert plants that wither up when they don't have any water#they might look dead but they're nearly impossible to kill completely#and will bounce right back after a lil care n patience. i just gotta like.... water em#the one thing standing in my way is ideological opposition to my spanish textbook#i have to pay $200 for access to a *website*#*i don't even get a book just a shitass ebook*#but it's ok one of the spanish profs likes me i think? i think she would let me skip the intro lit class#only problem is it was Genuinely Hard for me to follow along when i audited advanced lit... 90% of the class was heritage speakers#tho ig like. having taken a class meant for native russian speakers should help w learning to survive that kinda thing#genuinely i think i can do it#just gotta make that my goal. study. do it for zapata#and if i wanna go into translating... having good spanish should help right? like if i finally get b2 spanish?#yeah. if i could do kazakh history for native russian speakers i can do spanish lit for heritage spanish speakers. it's equivalent enough#but ok i'm gonna visit my buddy in spain who did nearly the exact same shitass majors combination as me#tho i think he did spanish/arabic for his language major and just Happens To Also Be Fluent In Russian cuz he's Like That#it's ok he's two years older than me i have two years to become that cool#he can tell me what to do
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applied to a bunch of jobs! 😅🙏
#took me three days bc i really wanted my dad's input on my resume and he took a while to get back to me#but i reallyyyy wanted to have applications in my monday morning and now i do :)#also feeling much better aboutbthe whole thing now that i have stuff to be excited about#still really really sad abt leaving the kids at my current job tho#but i drove by some of the places i applied today and researched them and im really optimistic about some of them#i even heard back from one already which i was not expecting at all#she literally emailed me like half an hour after getting my application and started asking me questions#like a pre interview#so thats nice#we went back and forth a couple of times#its not my top top choice but that place isnt officially hiring and might take forever to back back to me#this place is a smaller home daycare type place and urgently hiring but the pay is super good and a home daycare environment might be nice#and the pay is pretty decent esp compared to what im making now#the top top place is a fancy pants private school that going to be way more thorough abt references and background check#so they'll take longer to get back to me#but i found out after applying that my friend's mom works there 🤯#so she's gonna ask her to put in a good word for me :)#but they're not officially hiring according to their website it just says they encourage people to inquire so i did#so p unlikely i would get that one but you never know#anyway!!!!#finally excited abt things and not just filled with dread and sadness abt leaving the current place and kids#still makes me sad but im not on the verge of tears thinking abt it anymore lol#this has been a shitpost
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always torn between "you must be your entirely unfiltered self and express your interests so that you'll make good friends" and "if you're too honest you will be pelted to death with rocks"
#meowing#- because people on this website and some of the larger internet do not understand that you can like some presented concepts and characters#while not liking the entire media as a whole or even just parts of it#idk im always the type to attach to things very very strongly especially if theyre kind of fucked up and ofc tumblr might not vibe with tha#but this is the 'spill your guts' website so im spilling.#idk more to say on this later probably#but i've always worried about being a bad person and so with the addition of tumblr im constantly worrying#'am i a piece of shit for liking x thing'#IDK IDK it's always something ill worry about but i think this community makes it worse yall are crazy uptight#its ok tho. we ball#🧾
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i’m replying to this on my personal blog because i do not want to address this on the cloutchase blog. normally, we would delete an ask like this, but it bothers me too much personally.
it sounds like your brother is subscribed to “dead internet theory” which is a fringe conspiracy theory and total doomer talk. it basically proposes that the internet "died" in 2016/2017, and is or will be only made of bots that are generating content for other bots to engage with eternally, and that bot content makes up a majority of the internet in order to manipulate people. it is hyperbolic, using language like "everything online is generated by a bot and you are alone."
idk where he got the idea that it started with discord users, and we aren’t just going to take this information as fact for the sake of making content for our silly website gijinkas. it would be incredibly depressing and irresponsible of us to spread potentially dangerous conspiracy information like this, even if we somehow twisted it into the form of a joke (which we can't). cloutchase is moreso a celebration of the unique environment of the internet. (REMINDER: these are just funny ocs, and while there are serious conversations to be had surrounding actual problems with these sites, cloutchase is NOT the space to be doing so. read the FAQ.)
people believe in this theory because it “feels” true, the internet now feels fake and algorithmically produced and that nobody here is a real person. that’s why many people have nostalgia for “old internet,” where we remember a time where everything was seemingly user run.
but really the main difference between old internet and new internet is commercialization. inevitably, websites grew into businesses and businesses must generate profit. algorithms, advertisements, and ai are much more prominent than ever, flagging algorithms with human bias censor actual people, and so on. seeing and experiencing these things makes it kinda feel like nothing matters or whatever.
what’s actually important to YOUR experience online is asking this: is the majority of content you engage with generated by bots? no!!! you make it your own! the internet is massive, but we still find each other!!! there are REAL people behind this project and receiving your messages. we read everything, you know. WE aren't bots.
bots have always been around the internet, it isn’t a new thing. sure, we didn’t have sophisticated ai generation back then, but spam bots have always existed. malware spread through bots, some ARE bots. in some far off circles of the internet now, there are content farms and viewbotting, but here we are, meeting on this tumblr blog.
the internet will only die when its users decide to stop using it. is this not unlike the y2k scare?
#unreality#i think#do not send us asks like this#i will probably delete this later#i didnt mention this in the post but there are hints of truth in the dead internet theory#its fair to be mad at ai art clogging up google search results and things like that#but there are ways to curate your internet experience and that is really what im tryna say. people make solutions and push back#also viruses are not as threatening anymore because we have improved cybersecurity and 40 years of progress on accessibility#most people now only use a few select popular websites and don't have to worry about protecting themselves from viruses even tho they shoul#if you do get a trojan horse or anything it is far worse than any ai slop you might stumble across now
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i guess my question is why DOES nuance immediately become looked down upon when it comes to that one webcomic
#he is typing#i mean i do have an idea. i think it's for a lot of reasons actually. but i think the knee jerk 'no it's COMPLETELY BAD EVERYTHING ABOUT-#-IT IS SHIT IT HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES LOLLOOK AT THESE WEIRDOS WHO WANT TO TALK ABOUT THEIR TERRIBLE TRASH COMIC'#is kind of... how do i put this.#not to say that i think it's 'actually good' and all criticism is unjustified or anything like that !!!!!! duh!!!!!! quite the contrary#i think that kind of reaction is definitely in part because a lot of the times when people DO claim to want nuanced conversations about it#they do in fact just circle back to idolizing it and writing off all criticisms as unjustified#so it's easier to just see someone talking about it and go 'shut the fuck up cringelord'#i think in a lot of ways the actual content of the story is viewed as inextricable from the horrid fanbase#and tbh i think the knee jerk reaction to completely write off any discussion about it is really more a defense mechanism against the-#-'fandom' than against the work itself. altho people do have issues with the work. i think a lot of the people who have that reaction eithe#ok not to be that guy but i think a lot of the people who have that reaction are people who have either never read the comic or read it-#-so long ago that they barely remember any of the actual content and can only remember it thru the insane fandomized lens#even tho the actual content might not be like that at all. i do think many (NOT ALL) of the satirical aspects of it are misconstrued#but nobody wants to have any actual conversations about it because nobody can be normal. so then when you do have an actual conversation-#-about it everyone assumes youre the same as the people who genuinely see no issues because theyre the loudest.#but like. idk like. fondness for a SATIRICAL COMIC where it is often COMMENTARY ON 2010S INTERNET CULTURE. is often like#immediately seen as endorsement of all of its flaws#moreso than it is for other things.#like someone reblogging tododeku probably does not endorse the repeated sexualization of teenage girls#but then someone reblogging karkat or whatever suddenly endorses like every time he said the r word#i do think this bias is reflective of the fact that a lot of fans ARE known for looking past or endorsing all of hussies actions as a write#but man. this is really the website where you have to put 'i think critically about the things i watch' in your carrd huh
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Doing testing on using the spectrograms for manually spotting AI generated music, and so far more people get over 50% than they do below, but the accuracy still isn’t high enough for my liking…
However, results are also likely highly dependent on how well each individual can read the contrast of the spectrogram and to what degree they believe the contrast matches either AI or human. So, I believe with practice or training, an individual can increase their accuracy in using the chart to spot spectrograms that are more likely AI than human 🤔 just like how you get better at picking out AI images with practice, even ones that are more convincing
However, over sampling 30+ spectrograms of both AI and human, there is the occasional one that looks similar to the other, but if found this to exceedingly rare. The one that was the closest to human spectrograms was an AI jazz song, which even to me looked indistinguishable. But I have yet to see a human one that is as washed out as AI ones, and they pretty much never have a flat yellow line at the bottom.
It is unlikely this test would ever be the only one needed in determining an AI song to human, but I believe it could end up being a good tool to use among other tools, namely human intuition, listening for common synthetic AI voices/compositions, generic lyrics, lack of credits, weird behavior from the uploader, etc etc.
When I have more to share I will 🤔
#AI#music#spectrogram#ai music#reminds me of when someone kept putting blatany wrong info about furries on a page about them and claimed u weren’t furry if you were-#-in fandoms like the lion king. so I got pissed and surveyd like 100 people to prove him wrong which it did#and then I went back with the source and fixed the page and told him politely he was wrong and I had proof#he got so mad that he left the entire website. and here I am getting pissed at someone and then obsessively trying to prove them wrong#again… lmaooooo….#anyways. my accuracy at picking whether a spectrogram is ai or human is higher than average because I’m the one who made the test and chart#and uhhh let’s just say all of dudes spectrograms fall within appears like ai. and follow the generic way most Suno songs look#Suno is reeeeeally bad with the washed out quality of its spectrograms even tho all ai ones have poor contrast…#additionally there’s a higher percentage of testers who also identify 7 of his songs as more likely being ai spectrograms :)#but I do want to prove the accuracy can be higher so as to increase the likelihood of these answers being correct
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most interesting popular accounts to me are the ones that just post stuff like gifsets or art or writing but never ever say anything, like no tag rambles, no personal posts, no opinions, no rants. im always like surely.... surely you have something to say....
#idgi#like its so boring yeah your posts are pretty or what have you but give me someone who talks and makes stuff only half as pretty#and im gonna prefer them bc i can see some personality behind it#idk maybe im just mean but its intriguing#esp since ive followed a bunch of blogs for the new thing im into and so many of them are like this#also on the rare occasions they do say stuff the posts never get notes#or replies and meanwhile they just posted a thanks for 9k followers post#i dont see the point of 9 thousand people if no one talks EVER#ALSO EVIDENTLY THEY WANT TO TALK BC MY ASS CANNOT BE STOPPED FROM REPLYING#and then they be out here following me even tho im some lil nobody so like#they must be like yay! someones talking!#again whats the point of this website if we dont reply and reblog and talk and have fun bro#see again this just makes me squint bc its like a lot of big influencer ig accs who just post perfectly edited pics and sell shit#and never say a word that could get in the way of a sponsorship#why are you acting like that on tumblr you dont even get money from being popualr here lmao
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its interesting as someone who used to be a bit closer to the very online capital A "Art Community" but is now a little more outside of it and focused on local art academia etc instead because the former always compliments me on "art style" and the latter always compliments me on the supposedly bizarre subject matter choices i make... its not bad its just interesting to see those two bubbles and how surprisingly separated they can be. unfortunately for them both, my art style is only Like This because i have a learning disability that slightly colours every line i draw and the unusual compositional choices like only drawing one eye and shit is because i was on deviantart in 2009 <3
#i dunno i was thinking about this because i was doing some experimentation with different ways to draw cartoon characters#i used to do it way more often but recently ive been super busy from school and family stuff going on (nothing bad just a lot of work)#the bmpmp3's artstyle is only extremely consistent when shes stressed!!!! jk jk but kinda LOL#if im too busy to play around my drawings will slip into whatevers comfortable for my dysgraphic hand <3 <3 <3#but i loooove experimenting and fucking around. consistency for brand purposes is long outside of my perspective at this point#do i wanna draw detailed hair and faces... do i not.... who knows. it will change within the hour#i do appreciate when people compliment my art style tho even tho its not something i really try to do#because while i dont try to make things look a certain way - recently i had decided to not hold back on my dysgraphic nature#i probably talked about it before. instead of painfully agonizing and trying to get a line perfect and scrapping a whole drawing because#of the hand-got-tired-after-2-lines jerks and wiggles i just decided to leave that all in. show off the drawing even if its scribbly#the other day i got a compliment saying my art style is robust. im not sure i fully grasp what that means but i really like that compliment#its very evocative. robust..... gonna be thinking about it for a while#but im not joking about the academia thing professors get so baffled by some of my drawing choices and like i straight up tell them#these are habits of children largely. children on early internet in my case that i never grew out of but also habits that children still us#go on an art website and sort by new and look up fanart for something popular with kids and you'll probably see someone doing#stuff with similar artistic choices. maybe not the same because i am 26. but similar. coming from similar places.#they always laugh and seem to think im being humble or making a joke.... im not orz im not trying to downplay my skills either#if anything im trying to bring up the skills of a thousand children uploading oc art every moment of every day.... they are out there...#yeah i dunno its funny these different relationships im having to different art worlds. in the end i will always probably be a tiny bit#outside of them all as some kind of alien or creature masquerading as human but i think thats what we're all doing after all
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see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place
#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd#but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well#just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well#which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out#which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore#its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi#see the other thing is#if i talk about my mental health at all#people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint#or feel sorry for me which i also dont want#all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all#like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff#i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly#im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares#i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to#and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one#they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored#im losing my mind steadily#and thats not even onto the physical problems#but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying#‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket#if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your#fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces#sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues#but then i talk to other women and it is#it just doesnt make sense and i hate it#but i never rly got help on private insurance either so#tbd#depression cw
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i sent a job application to a business i really wanted to work at two months ago and never heard back. today i met the owner and he told me to apply and couldn't believe i already had and got no response. turns out no one is checking the email that the website says to send applications to lmao
#the owner didn't even know that was on his website 🤣#who set that up and didn't tell anyone???#anyway i have a job interview tomorrow 🙏#also i basically get to pick what i want to do there i think#he was like hey you should apply actually lets set up an interview for tomorrow also what do u want to do here btw#so i dont want to be overly confident here but i think i basically have the job!!#like the owner tells you to apply and says he wants to come to yoir job interview that's basically a job offer right there?#anyway i am so stressed and relieved at the same time#wayyy less nervous abt this job than the nursery teacher one tho bc i did not actually want to do the teacher one#i love kids but if i worked with them all day i think i would die
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You know, I used to be one of those person who believed that we should not shame people for their individual habits when it comes to climate changes but focus on the industries and I still believe that it's a more pressing issues in many ways but like…
Ever since I started working at the post office, I just cannot feel the same. I'm genuinely disgusted by the amount of people who will return 10, 15, shit even 20+ parcels on a weekly basis. There's people I see doing this every saturday like clockwork.It's pretty clear that they had no need for any of the bullshit they ordered, they just wanted the little rush of getting some parcel in the mail.
It's also almost always from the same 3 website (Amazon, Shein and Temu) so they're not only actively destroying the environment (and seriously, I think it's hard to realize how much plastic and fuel all those returns take if you haven't seen it first hand -just the amount of tape we use on them on a daily basis is enough to make me sick-), they also contribute to horrible working conditions for so many people so yeah, at this point I do think we need to start applying some shame to all that bs tbh
#i really overfocus on the tape thing because it's just *so much* plastic in one day in one post office and for what?#for some cheap bullshit also made of plastic that are gonne ends up as nothing but landfill fodder#consumerism makes me physically ill at this point#it gives me the same vibe than looking at rotten meat and i'm not even exagerating#and i say that as somebody who enjoys having little trinkets and knick knacks in her house#people are just pushing it so so so far it's absolutely insane to me#disclaimer before someone decide to be sensitive: I'm not talking about people who order something realize it's not working for them..#..and then return it to get their money back#that's normal behavior and the impact on the environment is very small if you do it a few times in a year#i'm also not judging you if you're broke and order things on really cheap website#tho i do encourage you to check other option (for your own well-being too because some of those will be filled with lead and shit)#but once again..some people are pushing it so far it's driving me insane
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Here's an interesting thought. Does L*ney primarily deal with shame (heart) or fear (head)? Does he seek to have an identity (heart) or security (head)?
To elaborate a bit more, this is some information about the heart/feeling triad:
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This is some information about the head/thinking triad:
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The thing with L*ney is that both descriptions can apply to him. It's just which applies more?
For instance, L*ney presents a false identity to the world. He hides who he is because he does not want to be perceived as weak. He wants to be relied on. A big part of his lore is trying to be the big brother L*nette deserves.
On the opposite hand, L*ney is extremely anxious. He pushes himself out there and to do things when in reality he's scared and insecure. Only when he's supported by his family he's able to calm down. Without this support he loses all ability to think clearly. He's lost.
Here's what I'm deciding between:
Type 3 (heart/feeling)
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Type 6 (head/thinking)
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Or Type 7 (head/thinking)
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The odd thing is that the description for type 3 matches the most, but as a whole, I can't help but feel that fear and anxiety (head) are more a core part of L*ney's personality and struggles than shame (heart). Proving his worth (heart) seems to matter less to him than ensuring his security—his family (head).
So I'm caught at a loss.
#character analysis#i am not typing his full name or tagging bc i dont want this found in search haha#if any of you guys have any ideas let me know#if you want to read where i got the resources from its 'wisdom of the enneagram'#if you google that with 'pdf' you will be taken to some archive website where you can download it#the pages i'm specifically referencing is 54-59#tho it's best to start from 51#let me say i wrote this without doing any research haha#i'm going off of my mental info from a few months back#ugh#my gut is telling me 6 my head is telling me 3#an argument can be said that his anxiety is driven by not living up to what's expected of him#but it seems to me what matters the most to him is ensuring that his family (his security) is safe#but technically speaking does that have anything to even do with ennea?#i dont think so#this is so annoying i know the answer is right there clear as day but i cant see it#i'm in brain blast mode right now i can't think straight haha
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