#even if most of the cool effects are just
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realcleverscience · 2 days ago
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Respectfully, these concerns are exaggerated:
ChatGPT uses so much energy that the US is literally reversing course on coal and gas usage to make up for it. At this point, solar power is cheaper than building coal and gas. This is why 86% of new power sources created last year across the globe were renewable (irena.org). In addition, most major tech companies have committed to being 100% renewably powered. Lastly, how the US and other countries primarily source power is not determined by ai needs, or even the tech industry in general, but rather by politics. (e.g. The US just elected trump, who is likely to push for fossil fuel usage and stymie renewables growth. Other countries aren't so stupid.)
In Santa Clara, for example, data centers used 60% of the ENTIRE CITY'S electricity. This is in the heart of silicon valley, so naturally they have a disproportionately high number of data centers. This is not typical. also, how many of those data centers were for AI vs any other type of digital use, like bitcoin mining (which is actually a scourge), managing the huge online gaming industry, or even mundane internet stuff, like running the tumblr website.
ChatGPT uses 1-3 bottles of water for cooling for every query you put into it. This is FRESH WATER, which is evaporated and eventually mostly returns to the ocean, effectively removing a lot of it from our already dwindling fresh water supply on the planet. This is what I found: "10-50 queries consumes 500 millilitres of water" (oecd.ai), which is around half a bottle. Let's average it 30 queries for a half bottle = 1 query uses around ~17ml, or around [edit: 1.6%] of a bottle of water, or around 1% of OP's claim.
It also consumes 17 THOUSAND TIMES more electricity than the average American home. Again, this isn't really accurate. Part of the issue is that AIs use power in two distinct ways: Firstly, the training session. This is "teaching" the AI to work. It happens once, at the start, and is indeed pretty computational/energy intensive. e.g. GPT3 likely used over 1,000 MWh for it's training. But this is still equivalent to the energy usage of just 120 US homes. The second stage of AI is *using* the ai, asking it questions, etc. This part is MUCH less energy intensive, with query's requiring 0.3 - 1 Wh per query, depending on complexity. Assuming a query requires a full 1Wh, that means each query is equivalent to running a 100W lightbulb for 6 minutes. This is not a lot.
The AI boom wastes so much electricity that we are very immediately risking US cities having to have rolling blackouts just to keep up with the energy demands, as early as NEXT YEAR This article presents a potential concern, not a reality. They are worried about the pace of new power installations keeping up with AI demand. This is a fair concern, of course, but all it really says is that we need to ensure that we're growing our energy resources quickly. And again, whether this happens is not really about the AI but about political decisions. (Frankly, I'm more concerned about this with Trump in charge but I think other countries will be fine.)
Gen AI's water usage is projected to hit 6.6 BILLION meters cubed by 2027 This is a lot but it's also very small on a global scale. Consider that just the pistachio farmers in just California alone use 2.5 BILLION meters cubed of water each year. Beef production alone in the US alone uses over 100 BILLION m3 of water each year. So yes, 6.6B m3 is a lot - but it's also a tiny amount for what it offers in useful work. Lastly, and more important than all the previous points, is that the OP analysis is based on the status quo. It's projecting current requirements into the future. But tech is not static. It improves each year. Tech oligarchs are heavily incentivized to reduce their water and energy footprints for a variety of reasons, most importantly, that it saves them money. At the same time, the history of computing shows regular improvements in things like energy efficiency and computing efficiency. In other words, it makes sense to expect AI tech to be much more energy and water efficient as time goes on. And at the same time, things like total power available are growing with the growth of sustainable energy, battery tech, etc. What's more, AI is already being used to help us achieve these goals: To design more efficient computers, more efficient energy tech, and even for new techs, like water-from-air generators that unlike older versions based on condensers (like in AC unit), these new ones can provide water even in extremely dry conditions, while using very little energy. This may well solve the global water crisis in the coming years and make the 'data center water issue' into a truly non-issue. Or, let me quote the first article OP linked to: "Tom's Guide AI expert Ryan Morrison said of the new reports: "While it is true that there is a significant environmental impact from AI, largely driven by the massive compute requirements, it will become less of a problem as models get more efficient and custom chips take over from power-hungry GPUs... AI may well also be the solution to its own energy problem, as well as the wider energy problems facing society. As the technology improves it will be used to design more efficient compute and cooling systems that minimise the impact on the environment. The designing the path to net zero may require AI."
So, in short: Yes, AI does have intense energy and water requirements. And yes, this will require sensible gov't policy to avoid problems. (and yes, I expect trump to do poorly on this.) And yes, we should all be paying attention and demanding good policy. However, the concerns have been overblown, presenting without context, generally ignore the regular gains in this field, and ignore how the 'problem', ai, is already proving itself part of the solution.
Idgaf if you don't want to write essays for school. I don't care if you don't want to write corporate emails yourself. I don't care if you can't draw well, I don't care if you can't write well, I don't care if you just really really want to talk to your favorite fictional character but don't want to RP with a real person because you have social anxiety or whatever
If you're still regularly using generative ai, chatgpt or midjourney or character.ai or literally whatever the fuck, im personally blaming you when my utility prices start going up.
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talenlee · 2 days ago
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4e: The Pinball Wizard
Back in the heydays of the 4th edition community being a community that all met on a single forum and shared a common lexicon and all that, there were phrases, truisms, slang and tropes we recognised and used to speed our way through conversations. This was true of 3rd edition too, since the community was actually, broadly speaking, the same thing, but that community kind of uprooted itself and moved on to other places, while the 4th edition remnant seems to have not really coalesced in a subsequent form. We don’t really have a 1d4chan or Brilliant Gameologists or deeply intimidating Pathfinder Subreddit as places to scare people off, and instead it’s stuff like…
Well, this blog post might get shared on the subreddit. Hi reddit! I like you even if we don’t agree about Blackguards!
Anyway, thing is, there are things that now have no meaning except their place in 4th edition conversations, and are functionally un-googleable because they’re very generic ways of just using words, or maybe, were named after something else. Back in City of Heroes there was a powerful supergroup known as the Green Machine, that was entirely team-buffing healers that refused to heal, and that’s not a term you can search for meaningfully. Another group that existed and that shares its title with today’s subject was a group of kinetics, where everyone could use powers to make everyone else fire off at super speed, showing you don’t need good powers if you can fire off your best powers every second.
They called themselves the Pinball Wizards, and now, if you go look for what that means in 4th edition D&D you kinda find nothing.
Here’s the story of one of the more distinct power level errata of D&D 4th edition, where in 2011, a single sweeping change to the way the rules worked destroyed a strategy and in the process brought something ridiculous down to merely really good.
This build was a combination of two basic parts, which were well and strictly defined under 4th edition rules. The first is zones. A zone is an effect, made by a power with the ‘zone’ keyword so you knew where to look for it, that looks at that area for some reason. Some zones are used for things like a healing aura, or a space that a character can move around in freely, but very commonly, a zone is used to represent an effect that’s bad that lasts. This can be a bunch of falling shards of glass, a cloud of toxic venom that hovers in a space, or a ground teeming with sharp, jagged vines on thorns.
Zones are extremely cool, make no mistake, and they tend to fall into the toolkit of the Controller. Controllers want to deprive enemies of actions, and zones are a great way to give enemies a bad choice: Stay in an area to do something they want to do, or spend actions getting out of it. Since zones do a good job of representing effects like rings of fire, or clouds of poison, or raining ice, it’s stuff that hits the wizardy feeling of editions past.
The other part of this is forced movement. 4th edition had a family of these effects known by their more specific names of push pull slide, but these are ways to change where enemies are positioned and everyone who complains about fighters in 4th edition is usually complaining about these and they are cowards. These effects show up everywhere, but undeniably, if you’re looking at the people who will do the most of them, you want controllers.
The build that worked out of this was known as the Pinball Wizard. You played a Wizard who used one of a number of long-lasting powers that created a zone that did something dangerous when someone entered it. Then you used your other powers to slide something in and out of that zone over and over again. Wizards got more than a few powers that did slides, and they got access to items and feats that improved their slides. You could use a slide effect to turn two squares of slide movement (and we’re talking like, 4-8 squares for builds that are trying) into like, 40 damage.
At level 2, when tanks are happy to have 40 hit points.
Anyway, you might be thinking the sensible solution is to make it so that these zone powers are limited in how often they can have their effect – and it kinda makes sense, narratively, in the context of the world, right? Like, an enemy or person isn’t going to breathe more if they run back and forth through a poison cloud.
In 2011, Wizards released an update to the compendium that added that rules information to every single damaging zone power in the game, with a note of the when, and an article explaining why they did it. It was a perfectly reasonable rules update made through a digital system they had and realistically speaking, the only thing to mourn is that there’s now no good reason to ever let a player get away with this use of these powers together, because it’s pretty silly.
The system that was left after this change was obviously a better system. It had a clear, specific template that it could use thereafter and while it did lose some edge cases, it was implemented thoroughly and comprehensively in a way 3rd edition almost never managed to execute. This was because of a central control system, the compendium, but it also spoke to a problem that a game normally about disconnecting and engaging with a very material play space was going to have to confront head-on.
Basically: This kind of errata existed in the rules, sure, and if you download a rules compendium, every power that can be changed mentions the 2011 change. But the books don’t. The books still have the rules change and to learn how the game works, you have to know it. Or you have to use a digital compendium, which presents a new problem for a game that is meant to work with paper and dice.
These were inevitable evolutions of technology and they interest me because they kinda present problems and solutions at scale. The actual problem of a wizard stacking a bunch of redundant effects together to kick an enemy through the boundary of their zones as a single incident was not a meaningful problem to a table. If it’s a problem, it’s a problem that has an administrative option to work with – the Dungeonmaster can look at it, and decide it’s too good and talk to the players about it. That problem is solvable almost instantly if everyone in the group and game has a good relationship and respects the DM.
But if you made the game, you don’t have a problem that can be solved on the spot. You have a problem of all the players, in a communal space, who bring it up and ask if it makes sense and consult with one another and now you have the problem that looks like at scale your product has a flaw and you need to address it to make that flaw not look like you don’t know what you’re talking about. Oh, what makes a good game is important here, it isn’t not important.
It is neither a good thing nor a bad thing.
It is a thing that few games get, not really, unless they’re very big, and trying to do a lot. It’s barely something that even the next tier down of games need to care about. Errata happens, people care about making the books better. But most people don’t have a comprehensive central database where they can update all the powers that use a particular wording.
Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!
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elrielffs · 2 days ago
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I love how antis try to downplay the Lightsinger theory because besides the fact that they have made theories out of LESS evidence then there is for Gwyn=Lighsinger, we know they don't like it cause it poo poos on their ship BC interactions and "mates".
They also say that it's misogynistic cause it's blaming Gwyn for Azriel's behavior...it's not blaming Gwyn for Azriel's behavior, it's explaining Azriel's behavior.
Azriel was acting weird. The whole thing was weird. We ask, why? Antis will say it's because Gwyn is his mate (which has been disproven because it's been shown over and over that he does not react like a mate would/should instinctively), others posit the Lightsinger theory and most people I see say this don't think Gwyn is evil or even doing it knowingly. (She could be but I don't think Gwyn is just for TEh EVAls, if she was doing it knowingly, I think it would be because she felt she had no choice)
Besides, which sounds better? Azriel just really be fucking stupid and dumb and passing on a necklace he got for another woman (which he didn't even specify Gwyn, Clotho did) and thinking that's A okay and smiling about it which seems really OOC....
or
Something funky, power wise going on to make him act that way.
I know which one I'd rather read about as a love interest.
Edit: Also like to add that idk/idc how much Gwyn's Lightsinger abilities will effect Elriel (if it's only this once instance, okay or if it's part of some bigger plan of Koschei's, okay), I think it would just add a lot to Gwyn's character and be really cool in general.
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hikarielizabethbloom · 2 days ago
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I just asked you bc i saw some Celebrimbor/Sauron fans in your post, ofc not you, being kind of hypocrite with Haladriels and their ship in how the Hal/Saul/Gal is toxic but the Cel/Sau is not. and i find that kind of ironic and i wanted your opinion about it know you are a multi stan.
Oh, okay. This is a serious question���one can never be too sure these days. I apologize if I came across as a bit harsh; that wasn't my intention. Or maybe it was, only because I thought you were being a troll.
What I said is true: my experience with silvergifting fans has been positive. They are some of the nicest people on this app. However, I don’t know your experiences, and I’m sorry if some of them have been rude to you. Bad apples exist everywhere.
I should also admit that my only negative trop experience with shippers involved a few (though most are really cool) haladriel fans. I hope you find the irony in that!
To be honest, I don't agree with using the adjective "toxic" that many fans use on this app. In my opinion, a toxic relationship requires two toxic individuals. I would describe both ships as abusive. However, that doesn't stop me from shipping them. Not at all.
I’m not overly focused on endgame or canon. I enjoy many relationships that aren’t canon or endgame, and some aren't even intended to be. I can appreciate endgame toxic relationships, but it really depends on the show (not trop). But, when abuse is involved, I prefer that the victim stays as far as possible from the abuser and finds happiness with someone who treats them right, even if that makes me a bad shipper. 😂
In my opinion, the show effectively highlights the abusive nature of all the relationships involving Sauron.
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indiestsnake · 4 months ago
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“Absolute power, but only for a moment…”
“Pure godhood. Transcendence of the being.”
“In the name of Duality, for this war’s end, and polarity’s destruction…”
“BURN!!!”
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Perspective practice with Duality that quite literally spiraled into messing with brushes. And writing poetry.
Late Startober Day Five- Transcendence I suppose :P
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cent-scratchnsniff · 9 days ago
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something bad did indeed happen to that man. spent abt 25 minutes trying to find a better picture of that one (1) offical piece with his eyes open that wasnt compressed or tiny
#library of ruina#yan library of ruina#getting comfortable doodling some objects and mannequin shapes for very obvious reasons. i read the keypage story and now it has a grip on#my brain. wanting to go ahead and plan it out and then draw the mangled memory and nightmare that replays behind the eyelids in the darknes#it was cool to see the reason confirmed from my speculation. twas indeed another reason of blocking out present pain with closing of eyes#considering they made angela have a plot important reason for doing so it would only make sense for another to have a reason for it as well#well. after having a prominent part inside the thumb/index story line. its just going to be yapping about yan now i think#let me add a spoiler tag i suppose? vauge but just incase i dont want to be an asshole. even if most already have played rhe game#library of ruina spoilers#lor spoilers#i really liked the typewritter effect over the voice after distortion. especially so when the effect finishes before the actual garbled voi#does. it makes it feel as if it were being read out after it being written down rather than of own words or volition. along with the text#upon the screen during the fight being just prescripts rather than anything relating to the man himself like the other instances with such#text had been. paired w the name of distorted yan being untranslated to keep the intent of the name being unreadable or not understandable#more into the idea of stripping away of the self or any sense of a self. not personal and not even him anymore. the following of a goal for#the goal for it is given and there isnt any hope of having the ability to not do such a thing. people yearn for a reason and something to d#and for it to be given to them to not hold responsibility nor have to do their own choices anymore. once a crushing weight weighs down#inside the face of an absolute cruelty that is perpetuated and that crushed the dreams or even desires having them be but nothing how can#one move on? it was really nice to see at the end of the fight. its easier to just say such things than to actually do them. even if the ac#ions dont even feel as if they are ones own or that there isnt any say in the matter having to endure all the pain for seemingly nothing it#still is pain. that feeling inside is still real. it still happened. regardless of the circumstances that brought them about#the thumb/index or just fingers seem to be an exaggerated to the extreme showcase of how the colletivist mindset in an unhealthy manner#could be exhibited. the thumb with its hierarchy and absoluteness and the demand for respect along with its strict layers of showing who is#below and who is above. the ability to have power over those underneath . the participation inside of it and the already brought up yearnin#to be apart of a group and to have a title and position inside of a group and of power and even a desire like from pete to join one iirc#the index being of the cruel perpetuating cycle of pain people inflict upon one another a behavior beaten and upkept by the systems as they#drift and desire to live. which causes them to partcipate in that cycle out of necessity. cruel acts upon another in order to live and seei#a need to go ahead and do such things for if they dont they die and another will just do the same to them. social sciences talk and rolands#talks abt how the city opperates reinforce that fact. the index and prescripts are really just a show inside that extreme manner and in a#more literal sense of that. it was really cool to read it..
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halfdeadwallfly · 7 months ago
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musubiki · 7 months ago
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does coco ever bring up the kidnapping to tease taffy?
I DIDNT THINK ABOUT THAT BUT IT WOULD BE AMAZING IF SHE DID!!!!!!!!!!! taffy says anything along the lines of "dont do that" and she goes "or what? gonna kidnap me?"
(bonus points for the rare times where taffy doesnt back down and gives her A Look™️ and says "Maybe." and cocos brain short circuits for a second)
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i've had a vision of aiden and black magic by little mix and now i'm knee deep in a modern magic au where aiden sells cheesy love potions by being hot (it's a scam)
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pallases · 2 months ago
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quite pleasantly surprised by wicked movie but i Will say we were robbed of elphaba leaning in close to glinda saying “come with me to the emerald city” followed by glinda’s “i’ve always wanted to see the emerald city” while looking deep into her eyes arms around her shoulders twirling elphaba’s hair
#not sure if this was unique to the last time i saw wicked but either way. shoutout to those two leads fr 😘✌🏻 <- that’s me kissing#two fingers and holding them out btw#personal#other notes:#- fiyero looked too old sorry but he did perform pretty well#- still unreasonably annoyed by ariana’s eyebrows being so pale and blending into her skin under certain lightings esp when they gave her#giant black lashes like at least be consistent 💀#- otherwise pretty pleasantly surprised by her performance there were still moments esp when she laughed where i was like this is too#‘ariana’ and not ‘glinda’ enough but for the most part she did wayyy better than i had anticipated#- the instrumentation to vocal balancing was weird throughout but i’m not sure if that came down mostly to it being in theatre vs on a home#tv ik it can depend on how they designed it#- was not a fan of nessa or madame morrible the way both of them sang and even how madame morrible spoke sometimes came off very stilted to#me i did like nessa’s spoken delivery tho#- not sure how but i had no clue abt the kristen/idina cameo ahjdf the way my mom#grandma and me all gasped#- cynthia did well i wasn’t concerned abt her initially but then saw the way they were marketing with her and got a little worried bc it#wasn’t very ‘elphaba’ but she portrayed her personality great#- they paced defying gravity weird i wasn’t super fond of the end. the bit where she’s falling and facing her younger self i was like okay#this is a cool change actually but then they interrupted in the middle again after that and suddenly cut to the ‘nobody in all of oz’ bit#and i went mmmm don’t like that#- liked the effects!#- wasn’t overly fond of jeff goldblum as the wizard but i suppose there is time to change my opinion there with act ii#- enjoyed what is this feeling flipping btwn so many settings to show how much they were clashing in every respect#- costumes!!#- was slightly bothered by autotune first half and then im not sure if they cut back on it or if i just got used to it#- probably more stuff that i might add later but can’t think of rn. overall nice experience don’t plan on rewatching anytime soon but still#intend to see part 2#wicked 2024 spoilers#<- for the cameo mention mainly
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anghraine · 3 months ago
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I honestly feel a lot better about having posted anything at AO3, even things I won't finish, and there's something that warms my heart about posting fic for The Borgias in 2024.
I was actually deciding between two different WIPs to represent that "phase" between my undergrad years and grad school. The other one was the prologue to a Legend of Korra/Star Wars fusion in which Noatak/Amon is Korra's father and this is revealed in S1 (I think it was going to be Tarrlok who figures it out first, lol) and it actually affects the plot and it isn't just the LOK canon plot with minor adjustments—the fusion with SW was meant to be more than vague I-am-your-father inspiration. In any case, I only ever wrote the prologue about the Noatak/Senna quasi-romance that led to Korra's existence and never even got to the sheer comedy of Korra as Tarrlok's niece :(
But the Juan and Lucrezia as dysfunctional twins one-shot is closer to being a whole fic (in a side-story way) and I did like being able to add one more to my Borgias oeuvre—and getting at least some part of that AU on AO3 after all the time I spent on it!
#anghraine babbles#fic talk#i don't think senna actually ends up with tonraq in the au so there's no easy I Have A Real Dad option#and korra grows up knowing that her parents spent a genuinely wonderful year together before a ship he was in tragically sank#(this is not actually noatak's fault - he'd actually disembarked and chosen to disappear before the shipwreck happened#and just appreciated the convenience of it effectively covering his tracks after he'd made the 'mistake' of getting attached to senna#who fully believes he was in the shipwreck and is very dead)#so korra's heard all these (true!) stories of how cool the 22-y-o charismatic super waterbender noatak seemed to senna#meanwhile tarrlok discovers just who her father was and is like 'ok she's DEFINITELY getting the satomobile. but for different reasons')#the publishing au is actually incredibly involved (it's the bay area borgias fic as well!) but just focusing on juan and lucrezia#made it more possible to compress into a reasonably sized one-shot#in reality i wrote about the kids in school and how rodrigo bulldozed into their lives when their much older brother luis tragically died#vanozza is the second of his various ex-wives. also i included an adriana del milà expy even though it's very much borgias fic bc i love he#and yes she /is/ still the mother-in-law of the giulia expy :D#lucrezia ended up getting moved ahead a year from juan and joins cesare in befriending The New Kid#miguel aka micheletto - who thus is a high school friend of theirs and has complicated feelings about everything#but never forgot that teenage cesare and lucrezia stood by him when he was involuntarily outed in their school c. 2002.#lucrezia is the most obvious nepo baby of the company but actually fantastic at marketing while cesare is the creative one#but rodrigo has convinced himself that juan is the creative genius bc he(r) likes him(j) best and obviously has infallible judgment#but yeah it dovetails into the bay area au in which the alfonso d'aragona expy is lucrezia's boyfriend al from pleasanton#he doesn't like her living in the house her family owns outright in oakland for reasons he never manages to explain!)#political shenanigans and codependent siblings#avatar: the legend of korra
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lucalicatteart · 2 years ago
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-- Poorly Constructed Enchanted Tool --
A small tool carved from a fruit tree seed. Energy to power the enchantment has seemingly run-out long ago, and the method of recharging is unknown - but, based on the appearance, it's very likely that this was once used for detecting magic. Usually, looking through the glass center would highlight areas of higher magical energy concentration present in the viewer's environment, even if they were otherwise obscured to the naked eye. While this form of enchantment itself is highly advanced, the craftsmanship of the item is far less neat or complex than what might be typically seen in similar devices. It may have been made as part of training/practice, or as a hasty replacement for a previous tool that had broken.
#written from the perspective of some fantasy traveler who checks all of the local thrift-stores and lost & found places for every#town they visit - looking for interesting items and documenting them or something#In reality - just another one of my goofy little avocado pit carvings lol. Still working on inlaying little stones in them and stuff#I don't really have the tools to make super intricate stuff but doing little plain swirly patterns is still fine enough lol.#WORKING ON NEW POLL ADVENTURE also I know I know it's been months.. I have been Busy and struck by the evils of summer#But like I mentioned in the previous one I do want to at LEAST finish the quest with the egg lol#ANYWAY.#Things like this would plausibly exist in Nanyevimi (my fantasy world) but wouldn't be very common as - like mentioned- this would be an#extremely advanced enchantment. REALLY advanced mages could sense magic around them (to varying degrees of pinpoint accuracy of location#) without even having to use any external device. But for a majority of people there's really no way to know someone is using magic near#you unless you either see visual proof or if it's strong enough to feel effects from it (since magic is kind of like radiation in that the#higher energy/more of it youre exposed to the more it damages you/can make you sick/etc.) and even then most people would just be like#'hmm why do I feel so nauseous and bad out of nowhere?' likely wouldn't directly think to link it to magic. Thus the only really reliable w#way isto just hone your senses over like 500 years as you become an expert mage - OR use enchantments like these. But a 'sense magic' encha#ntment is not as common as a just 'magic is not allowed here' enchantment. If you wanted to prevent magic from being usedin a space#it's easier to just put up a broad barrier enchantment around that space than to have some sort of Magic Sensor to pick out if it's being#done and then handle each individual case of it . etc. etc. These sort of things can have their uses (especially for people investigating#things or trying to be secretive about detecting something etc.) but are less common - especially in this form (where visuals are used. itd#be more likely to jsut have like 'piece of metal that gets warm or cool depending on magic nearby'.) ANWAY so this is why it's a notable#object. Though a majority of the realm is not very magic literate - if you were a researcher or a mage and found this at a pawn shop you'd#definitely be like 'oohhh!! :0 inch resting... ' if not you might just be like 'oh cool necklace!' lol#also love the quick 2min ''costume'' for the image of it being used. literally just 'wrap yourself in scarves from the waist up' and slap o#a wig and ears lol#on this blog I guess since it's worldbuilding related and technically art.. maybe more like crafting? I should have a crafts tag lol.. hmm
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calico-kiwi · 28 days ago
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sometimes dreams are insightful. like the time i had a dream where i fell asleep on the shoulder of my former best friend and realized it was because i missed hugging her.
sometimes they’re stupid though and mean absolutely nothing. like the one i just had about a weird marionette doll and her frankenstein like husband having to flee their adams family style house to some random italian countryside to escape the police while trying to figure out how to be parents to their newborn child
#kiwi shares their thoughts#i had… a lot of dreams i remembered today#what i hate is that my favorite one was interrupted before it finished#but even before that it was like my dream psyched me out#i was waiting for something and then it fucking changed the subject#false hope in a dream is a sucker punch to the gut when you wake up#i’m just not gonna read too much into it because sometimes you shouldn’t put so much stalk in dreams#so even though it sucks to think about that dream when i’m awake#it’s still my favorite because it made me feel the best in the dream#what i’m learning though#is that i’m craving cuddles#cause two of my dreams were about that#and it was from different people so i think it’s just a general want and not from a specific person#i had i think four different distinct dreams i remember but all of them but one did that dream morph thing#where the plot/art style changed halfway through#so even though it was a continuous sequence of events theyre almost disconnected enough to count as separate dreams#but they were actually just one long semi-cohesive dream#what WAS super crazy though was in the last dream the art style literally changed#like it went from real people with weird old hollywood horror movie effects and quality#to an almost combo of adams family-stop motion-book of life-willoughbys type style#the visual representation changed as the character and plot and vibe of the story changed#yo but that was probably the most interesting dream of the four#it had insane plot and cool animation and even the very disturbing beginning part was cool if ur into things that are a little fucked up bu#overall wholesome
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sysig · 9 months ago
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Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Blood#Just a bit but y'know - Enough#It honestly made me So sad that it took until his canonmates saw it happen that someone /finally/ acknowledged his spontaneous cuts D:#Like I get it it's dark and it's hard to see but his skin just opened up and he made a noise about it! The possible danger!!#And then by that point he's just so used to everyone ignoring it that their concern for him is barely even a factor weh ZEX ;;#Plus it's just a cool effect haha - sudden blood from nothing! Very rich mental movement#At least Max had someone concerned for him about it <3 Not that he could do anything about it but even just the validation of seeing it!#He has enough cuts on him :( Poor tenderized flesh#He gets all crabby from being sore from healing constantly haha :'D Of course he would!#One thing I found very interesting was the scar sidedness :0 Most of the examples in the gallery have his scar and missing eye opposite#But that's not necessarily the case! I actually scoured mid-read and there /are/ a couple instances of matching side!#They're very tiny so I overlooked them upon first viewing hehe ♪ But they're there! It's very interesting to me!#I like the aesthetics of the opposite - probably because I'm more used to it lol - but I can see the appeal and reasoning for the other way#I do honestly enjoy how much is open to interpretation and allowance uwu♪ And what's consistent! Like how it's always his right eye :D#That tracks hehe ♫#Haha his meeting with his delightfully inept counselor - I'm pretty sure I was actually more angry about his supposed injury than he was#He chilled out pretty quickly while I was just - A Scratched Cornea??? The disrespect!!#So happy with his eyebrow expression on that one as well ah <3#It really does make me curious for how the staff is kept there - they don't /seem/ malicious during the day! But they're also unaware#It's interesting where the lines of reality are between everyone :D Very interesting ♪#Capping off with another song my playlist is looking quite healthy now hehe#Flagpole Sitta is one of those songs that only comes up for me every half dozen years or so but when it Does - phewph#It is /such/ a ZEX song to me now hehe <3 The flirtiness and exasperation - the defeatism even! So many killer lines#I think my favourite is ''I'm not sick but I'm not well'' ask me to read into that I will I'm gonna I'll do it even if you don't ask me lol#So fun to draw those lapses in control the poor dear ♥#The digital reconstruction there was a lot of fun as well actually :D I think I nailed it :3 Pulled around from all over the page! Pleased ♪
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pup-pee · 4 months ago
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my father telling me how scared he was when i ran away from the house but i cant express how scared i was 2 b in the house
hey, whats up w/that?
#whenever we ‘hang out’ he likes 2 make the topic as depressing as possible by always talking abiut the past#& it is the most annoying shit ever i will not lie BC I DONT WANT 2 TALK ABOUT DEATH & THE ABUSE EVERY TIME I SPEAK 2 U#yk? thag makes sense in my head#anyways he started talking abiut how terrified he was when i had ran away multiple times a couple yrs ago & when i say a couple i mean#i have no idea how long ago bc memory is a bitch#but it had 2 b like middle school - sophmore?#multiple times & like i just wanna shake him bc LITERLLY WHAT & WHO DO U THINK I WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM#GODDAMNN I H8 BING THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS HOUSE WHO CAN EXPRESS EMOTIONS & NOT LET THEM EFFECT HOW I VIEW THE OTHER#‘oh u ran in the park u ran in the park’ i didnt run in the fuckinggppaaarrkrkkkk AAAAAAAAAA I MET A NICE LADY WHO HAD A GOAT IN THE#SPARTMENTS I FRIECIENTED OFTEN WHEN I WAS YOUNGER#i cant express how safe the goddamn goat lady & her kid made me feel vs my parents who started hunting 4 me#like ive been dragged home so many times im not going through that shit again#i miss the goat the mom & the kid we were just chilling @ like midnight 4 a bit#did this turn in2 a vent? idk#i do this a lot ill prolly delete this soonish when im kore calm#bc rn i want 2 chuck bricks in my laundry machine & watch them fly out & hit whatever#im going back 2 watching anime if i have 2 talk 2 1 other person i will actually explode#like irl person not online the silly gay ppl in my phone r super cool & amazing & i love them#im srry 4 bing a dick btw#i cant explain it i mean i could but i cant im just my brain is telling me eveyr1 h8s me & MAN i h8 it when it does#so im just frightened & by golly & am i havign a cheery time yipyipyip#typing in tags is sm easier than in a post bc i dont think most ppl read tags lol#the more i think about my past the more i wonder wtf am i doing here#bc how did i even get out of the house in the 1st place & then ontop of that was able 2 hide#like what……#bc they were fucking grabbing me n shit & they have CARS like i didnt go in the park i walked the sidewalks HOW DID I MOT GET CAUGHT??#MULTIPLE TIMES??? LIKE I ‘ran away’ MULTIPLE TIMES#i didnt exactly run away tho bc i didnt want them 2 file police shit i didnt eant 2 deal w/that & also hirt the pll i stayed over w/#so i always went back. obviously blehhh#ug hj hhhh my heads hurting again this is like the 4th day in a row :((
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fragmentedblade · 1 year ago
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I called it, Ruan Mei is deranged and shady as hell
#I love her#I also said that she the light cone and the light cone description and her last eidolon and some other things#made her feel almost nonexistent or barely there‚ but not in a Herta and Xueyi kind of way#And it seems I was right too? That line‚ 'Life is so colourful‚ but... it has nothing to do with me' reads to me like that for now#Really digging the way Dr. Ratio contrasts or parallels her. How she talks about keeping a serene mask until the situation is ascertained#and talking about emotions and feelings being able to be analysed and dissected‚ the root of which found#In the promotional video immediately after she says the thing about masks‚ Ratio appears talking precisely about the same thing#It's so cool how both also take advantage in their fighting style of the weaknesses of the enemies#Ruan Mei with the weakness break effect and Ratio with the debuffs#Ruan Mei didn't seem as scornful of Ratio and the Guild as Herta seemed but Ruan Mei is also less open#The leaked line of Ratio about her (I can't recall exactly but it wasn't anything we haven't seen in the new Ruan Mei short‚#something about how the true intentions of her research are not what she stated and that she is actually the most ambitious member#of the Genius Society)‚ while not truly negative‚ doesn't seem positive either. But he perhaps isn't as callous#as he is when he talks about Herta and Screwllum. Or perhaps he is being even more so#I'm looking forwards to their interactions and the development of the relationship between the Guild and the Society as a whole#But also the dynamics and problems inside the Genius Society itself#They all seem to have their all personal and selfish agenda which could be source of clash‚ whereas the Guild seems more people driven#Even if they have at times pretty ugly methods. Not they the Genius Society doesn't#Ajfjsjd anyway I wonder if the Ratio and Ruan Mei parallels and contrasts will be truly explored or if it will be left in the air#just to sell either character more#But it seems sooo intriguing and so shady and I'm so into how two faces or representation of the same Aeon or under the same drive#could approach a similarish issue. Or how could one view the other. And how in general all that will develop#I've been looking forwards to more insight on the Guild/Genius Society confrontation since very early on haha#I am loving Ruan Mei *sighs* deranged#I talk too much
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