#even if it takes me forever to respond
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Iām actually so fucking over politics right now. I never had any interest in them and that could just be because Iām still not legally allowed to vote. Take what I say with as much regard as you want, my opinion doesnāt fucking matter anyway lmao. Idk I just feel like everyoneās blowing this way out of proportion. And this is coming from a member of the LGBTQ community. Am I concerned? A little, yeah. But this shouldnāt dictate the next four years of your life and keep looming over you. Youāre never gonna be happy that way and things are going to get better. People seem to be forgetting that weāve been through this before. And weāre still here and have doing pretty okay in my opinion up until this years election. Plus political motions are really just a big vote to pass things. No one can do shit if itās not passed by congress. People need to start thinking about this one step at a time instead of thinking themselves into frenzies. History repeats itself all the time, the people will protest if they donāt agree with something passed and it will force officials to do something about it. Itās the same story over and over. Plus these big political names are just a bunch of old men. Guess what? Old men fucking die. Donāt let this dictate your life and actionās because itās not gonna last much longer.
#us politics#us elections#im so so over it#can we just skip to a couple months from now where political posts go back to just being stupid fucking memes#the shock is gonna wear off and people will start realizing that within the next couple of elections the presidential candidates#are going to be coming from more recent generations and are going to have different opinions on topics like lgbtq care#things WILL change and get better#I love you all#take care#my inbox is always open if you need to talk#even if it takes me forever to respond
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Do you think if the trolls all came back, like everything in the main comic did happen and they were alive again. Do you think Feferi would actually forgive Eridan? Or want to even be his friend after everything? I don't personally like the erisol and fefertasprite interactionā¦felt rushedā¦..so I just wanted to know your opinion if things were different! :)
Yeah, I think they would be! Feferi is one of the trolls who takes dying the least badly (relentless optimism) and Eridan does genuinely feel bad, which means a lot when it's Eridan. I think she really is genuine when she says she wants them to be friends and also that she's really not the type of person to hold a grudge, and like... death is SUPER cheap in Homestuck, it's really not the horrific, irredeemable, irreperable damage that it is IRL - and if you're talking about (Feferi) and (Eridan), then they're both dead (and irrelevent) now, so the score is kind of even.
In general, the fandom - I mean, people in general, really - tend to have difficulty divorcing themselves from other people. We tend to assume that the people and characters they like will hold similar opinions to themselves. This is how people who like Karkat and don't like Eridan can mentally gloss over or even block out their clear, close friendship, or how people who dislike Cronus can end up overlooking that Meenah actually takes his opinion seriously and unironically defends his wizard thing. Feferi really isn't mad at Eridan or upset about dying the way we probably would be, because she's friends with the horrorterrors, relentlessly cheerful, comfortable with death in general, and death is also just not really that big of a deal in this setting. "I'm really sorry about that, that was shitty of me" is honestly probably all the apology she needs, especially if they came back to life anyway.
#i dunno in general the fandom loves to blow stuff up#and make it all way way angstier than it needs to be or was even shown to be#by all accounts feferi takes dying really well#im sure shes still not STOKED to be eridan's friend again but out of all her faults#holding long unreasonable grudges isnt really one of them#(that's a kanaya thing actually)#eridan's always gonna be an annoying pest to her in large doses but i think she basically thinks of him as a friend#also eridan responds to problems overwhelmingly with Fight#so this idea that eridan will be forever mopey and angsty also doesnt ring true to his character#if anything i can see him becoming annoying again because now he won't stop fucking apologizing#like bro chill its fine already oh my god why is everyt)(ing suc)( a PRODUCTION wit)( you#because thats the last point too like#homestuck always returns to humor#hussie even says in the book commentary that homestuck is lighthearted and comedic at its core#that it keeps returning to that as a touchstone#even during its tensest moments like murderstuck theres just constant funnies and gags#so i just end up going kinda :/ when an interpretation is purely maudlin or cathartic#like its more homestuck when its funny and characters treating murder with the same gravitas as irl#not only doesnt make sense in universe where death is cheap - ESPECIALLY for trolls#but also just doesn't really feel very homestuck to me#but that is 100% personal taste so if you like that stuff by all means keep enjoying it lol#you just arent going to get uber angst from me u_u
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Specifically thinking about long distance relationships today.
So tell me how you and your f/o would first meet online?
#I feel like Bakugou and I would meet in one of those online games heās downloaded to mindlessly waste time between shifts#and heās so foul at first because he thinks Iām weak but we play and he realises that Iām#actually whooping everyone and heās like well damn okay#and now heās messaging in the alliance chat and like getting excited when Iām online even tho he tries to hide it#and gets annoyed when other creeps in his alliance try to flirt with me#and then heās asking for my discord#me and Sanemi get into a fight on discord the first time we interact#in some stupid big server I only joined for the emojis#but heās a jerk so I tell him to shut up and a message later I find a msg notification and itās him trying to continue the conversationš#enjin slides into my dms on Instagram#he finds my post at a concert and hates the fuckboys that are commenting below#ends up messaging me to see if Iām okay but then immediately worries heās one of those guys#Tamsy I feel like is that mutual Iāve had forever on twt and we like each others posts but weāve NEVER talked to each other??#itās not until Iām feeling sad at 2am and I post something self-deprecating that he drops me a msgš„ŗ#and we end up staying up until 5am just talking to each other#Kirishima is ALWAYS the guy that responds to my āmorningā with a morning back! every day without fail#and I slide into his DMs one day and ask how heās ALWAYS awake when I am??? like to say it back so quick#and he admits heās kinda learned my schedule and he tries to be online for it because itās one of the best parts of his day#and he likes saying it backššš even if heās off from a night shift and needs sleep he canāt without seeing me msg#Shindou blatantly flirts with me in a gaming discord and I think heās an incel so I block him#he gets a friend to ping me to beg me to unblock him and I refuse#the friend then sends another message with a screenshot of Shindou basically begging me to unblock himš#Dot and I meet in one of those AITA Reddit threads#and we end up borderline arguing over whether op is TA#so much that we get told to take it elsewhereššš#enjo#bakujo#eijo#but also catch me sending Dynamight sassy banter on his official socialsšš
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless š like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors šÆ like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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Alistair: So I'm not going with you, I see. Any particular reason? Tabris: I'm not going to risk you getting hurt, Alistair. Alistair: And you think I want you going in there and sacrificing yourself? You think I want you to die!? But there's no use arguing with you, is there? We don't have time... and you are a stubborn, stubborn woman. Tabris: You would do something foolish. Alistair: Maybeā¦ I guess we'll never know now, will we? I guess this is the last chance we'll getā¦ before this is finished, one way or another. Be careful in there. Tabris: I love you, Alistair. Alistair:
Guess who made the ultimate sacrifice...?
Me. It was me.
I made the ultimate sacrifice.
The achievement wasn't worth it.
#dragon age#dragon age origins#dao#alistair theirin#dao alistair#warden tabris#i'm genuinely so heart broken#i just wanted to see what ending you get when you reject morrigan's ritual since i have very strong opinions on it as i've discussed before#and it's more in character for my tabris to reject it anyway so this was the first time i did it and just...... i am hurt#like... it's such a hopeless 'what was even the point? she didn't deserve this' feeling y'know? she didn't deserve this!#and neither did alistair... he already holds so much guilt over duncan and cailan making him stay out of battle in ostagar#and then rose makes him stay behind so she can face the archdemon and die ALONE... while also robbing him of the chance to stand beside her#the way i play dao is alistair is forever in my party like i literally take him *everywhere* he is with rose the entire journey#they are partners in this forever and always and they planned to face the archdemon together but that changed with riordan's news...#and this is the first time since they met in ostagar that he hasn't been in her party and i didn't expect it to hurt so much...#plus i keep alistair a warden so he's left alone in the aftermath of a blight that took everything from him#and i know the end card was retconned but it says that he was so hurt over the warden's death#that he said it wasn't the same anymore and he fucking *left* the order and fereldan and his whereabouts are unknown after he made#a small monument for duncan in his birthplace like.... again i know that was retconned since he obviously didn't leave the wardens but OOF#oh and don't even get me started on morrigan and how she responds to being rejected like i'm chewing on all my furniture right now#there is so much to dissect in that conversation and i'm too emotionally drained to handle it right now...
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i love when people send like, hyper-specific questions to the clausten ask blog ahsjwhdjehdš its like. man i dont know how you even thought to ask something like that but i do rock with it i do theyāll answer your silly little strangely specific question
#nanathinks#thank you for all the support on the ask blog even though it takes me forever to respond to questions šā¤ļøā¤ļø#itās so so fun i love it
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:/
#wanting to be on here so much more often but im so anxious about the current state of the world and trying to get a job#i get rejection after rejection and my parents are literally talking behind my back and are recommending me jobs that just need a hs diploma#or they think im not applying#and then theres these two equal and opposing forces: one who is so scared of moving far far far away from home and wants to stay in the#familiar forever. and the other side wants to gtfo and make something of life#my brain is just so loud and i feel like such a failure all the time and my parents are only making me feel worse#it shouldn't be this fucking hard to get a job in bioengineering. it's fucking engineering#and back to the parent thing... i wouldn't be this upset if they weren't so pushy. in this job market it takes approx 6 months for new grads#to get a job#it hasn't even been two months#ik they want what's best. but i feel so belittled#i feel belittled by everything these days like it takes me forever to respond to messages and i feel so depressed#maybe i just need a good cry but i truly am just so stuck and i wish future me could grab me by the shoulders and tell me it's gonna fucking#be ok and just relax#i just dont see anything good happening for me in the future#negativity tw#apple lady words
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ohhh i knew i shouldn't have screenshotted that thing hhhhhouuuhr
#just me hi#so i'm trying to find the canvas that i drew this comic on that i Screenshotted cuz i thought 'oh yea i'll just go back if i wanna post#later' and i Lost the canvas ????#i can't find the dang thing!! i have looked and looked but it's nowhere in the project folder#so that means i have to check my misc folder. which is So Much it'll take forever cuz idek what i was working on when i drew it#ik i was taking a break from a bigger thing i think but i don't remember what it was ?? aaaauuhhh#which yea i could just post the screenshot but it's blurryyyyyy and it really really bothers meeeeee hkgfjsv#and i hate sharpening unless it's very deliberately for noise </3 Man lmfshv#it's not even that big really... i could just put a layer over it cuz i left the grey canvas underneath too lmao.....#i mean..... man it's annoying me hghfjhsv#//w/e w/e w/e though. in Other news hgfsj#i finished uploading my stuff to my player!! very cool very sick :D#took me until nearly 2 a.m. but i got it >:3#/mnmn also i commented on a fic a while ago and subscribed- the author responded and then like 10 minutes later a new chapter was up#does that feel like real magic or is that just me hgbhfhs#/and what else? uhh think i'm gonna do a big hid piece again :3 he's fun putting in Places so i think i'll do that lol#i am Dreading doing backgrounds but it must be done !!! for my. health or something hgkfhs#perhaps a grocery store.. or a park.... or the palace cuz the last piece i did for that didn't look too great pfsh#yea tho... things........#//i'm gonna go clean up that screenshot :( even if it makes me feel very itchy on the inside lmao :(#been getting very itchy-on-the-inside about stuff recently. hou- is that annoying or what lol?#/but YEA okay i'm on my way hfsh :3 toodlesssss
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I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way
#itās more so selfishness lmao#idk Iām getting unnecessarily worked up about this but 6 months ago I kinda vanished off of everywhere and then I noticed she deleted some#messages#girl I wouldāve responded later calm down gosh the messages arenāt going anywhere nor are they disappearing#dora daily#I think of all people who should be mad youāre the last one because tell me why you were so viscerally rude to me since the beginning and#played a massive part of the roaa situation by being complacent when oh ! I thought youād side with your alleged best friend ME#girl you have no right to complain at all not to mention you take FOREVER when you have no excuse to reply back but when Iām struggling I#apparently have zero excuse ā ļø girl bye#not to mention the fact that when I was so frustrated with myself having these bad headaches and being so incapable of doing anything when#exams were so close all you had to say was what can I do#well bitch what could I have done when you were at hospital#I guarantee you I was the only one texting you 24:7 asking how you were#reassuring you that itās okay to feel upset about being in the fucking hospital and you donāt need to have such toxic positivity all the tim#oh but when the other girl had freaking back pain from her period or something apparently thatās more of a concern#girl bye#not me who has chronic headaches and cannot even study and nothing sticking cause itās that bad#oh but go ahead compare it to your chronic illnesss like yes itās horrible and yes it impacts you a lot#but I donāt think it impacts your brain and memorisation capacity#not to mention how fucking jealous she is of everything like I can say oh god I was so stressed and girl she has not felt stress in her life#compared to what I go through yet she is jealous of the fact I can stress ? tf?#and when I say I almost passed out cause of exhaustion she doesnāt give a shit when I was being so serious#in truth Iāve come to realise nobody does seem to care at all lmao they all think Iām lying#why would I lie about that be so fucking fr rn#anyways this is why I simply donāt want to talk about my physical condition with anyone anymore because theyāll think Iām a liar anyways š¤·āā#not to mention the fact if you even knew me a little youād understand that itās so impossibly hard for me to feel comfortable enough to#complain to talk about me feeling sick or sad or whatever I only do it here cause no one follows me and no one will rlly see it at all#but even here I feel like my throat closes up and I can barely breathe when I do complain#so pls ā¦#this one sided friendship thing is crazy cause girl how do I shake you off?
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hm. i think i am going to stop going to counseling. he does not understand me. he pathologizes things that are not pathological.
#purrs#the premises of counseling / therapy are that you need to have boundaries and be self sufficient and fully healed. FUCK THAT! relationships#are not transactions. we are allowed to need each other. we are allowed to blur lines. we are human and messy. our thoughts and feelings ar#PRECIOUS. im not letting go of my thoughts they mean EVERYTHING to me they are the key to the WORLD. im not letting go of redacted why on#EARTH would i stop redacteding to redacted that is HELPFUL for me. i donāt CARE about the roots. who the fuck is it hurting????? NO ONE!!!!#the way he flat out told me he agrees with my mom. bitch im done forever. im done literaly forever. i donāt know how to tell him but im don#forever. maybe itās just my id which is what he said to me LMFAO and like maybe i just donāt like being uncomfortable or facing hard truths#but i donāt fucking think itās TRUE!!!!!!!!!! yeah i need to grow yeah i have unhealthy behaviors. but i donāt need to let go of the whole#THING bc of some arbitrary transactional concept of what relationships are supposed to be / mean. ive NEVER had a counselor try to uproot t#the whole damn thing like omg what is WRONG with you. i#im paying this man $25 a week to UNDERSTAND me and not ONCE have i felt understood by him. counselors can disagree with me but i literally#never feel like he is on my side. heās adhering to conventional ideas about what parents are supposed to be and friends are supposed to be#and work is supposed to be etc etc. and so patronizingly said just enjoy being 23 you donāt wanna waste your 20s! FUCK YOU. i will not#regret anything even if itās unusual. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!#and also i know he probably watches back thru the recordings and has like his supervisor and professors watch them too which means that#there is a whole team of scientists + my family studying me in a lab and thinking im insane and finding ways to tell me. but fucking bold o#him to assume he can give me any meaningful valuable insight when he is actively checking his laptop / phone during our sessions and rarely#if eve gives me a chance to drive MY OWN CONVERSATION THAT IM PAYING FOR and is so phony abt being on the recording. like Omg. maybe im jus#grown out of it. it fucking SUCKS bc i actually have things i am not normal about and really need help with and i canāt actually get help f#from ppl whose job it is to fucking help me bc they think im not normal about things i PROMISEEEE i am normal about. and the way i effectiv#effectively told him that and he responded that he canāt take that credibly bc thereās no action behind it BY WHICH HE MEANS I HAVENT#STOPPED REDACTEDING TO ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT REDACTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE? THAT I HAVENT DECIDED IM DONE LEARNING SND GROWING AND CUT IT#OFF?????? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF. INSANE. the ANTITHESIS of human. we are MEANT TO BE CONNECTED. FUCK!!!!!!!!!#delete later#my old counselors challenged me and disagreed with me b it i never felt like they flat out were unwilling to meet me where i am and#compromise with me. is that not what counselors are supposed to do???? or have i just had bad counselors until now??? because im NORMAL. i#swear to fucking god. im normal. im literally normal and it is not doing ANYONE harm. what is wrong with you. GOD
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NOOOOOOOO!!! Reeds! šššWHY! Welp, now I have two aliases :/ (I guess I'm Pennywise :D Reeds no, it's a joke, not another alias)
Cool! :D (I'm going to have fun with this lol)
Also, damn 2,809 pages! It's okay, I'm reading a novel with 8 volumes (still waiting for 2 of them to release). If anyone knows what novel I'm talking about, then you know. š¤ All I'm saying is that keep up the excellent work Reeds! :) Don't feel bad about how much you write, we love reading all of it! :D ššš And sometimes beg for more, as in wanting to know what happens next and theorizing.
Speaking of writing. Ahhhhh! š Yeah I see what you mean by fluff/angst. It was amazing! :D Ara, poor poor Ara. Wonder what role she'll play after the inevitable happens? š (maybe...). Jet, he's alive... bearly, but alive! I don't have much to say for him. If he lives, he lives; if he dies, he dies, the story will go on. HEHEHE... having the characters that divide us to either love or hate them are still with us, it is going to be sooooo fun! :D
FUN, FUN, FUN, FUN. Did someone say fun! Oh yes, it was fun reading how the poor couple wanted to spend time together only to be reminded of such horrible things every so often. How misery follows them everywhere. Ohhhh... what was that comment? K**_** what an interesting conclusion. Maybe the toxins did do an effect? There's no need to think you're wrong, it just may be that! The poor boy has suffered so much before; maybe this one could be a blessing in disguise? Ara! My dear girl, how you had your own evils. Were you always like this? Or did someone do this to you? No matter, what is done is done. But how will you accept what happens next? Where will you go? Who will you go to? Maybe accept those who you want to know you now? OR... you could always betray them You could go meet the one who truly careds soon? Will you go insane? What will your journey be? Jet! Have you changed now? Or are you still battling against yourself? After all, you did sell everyone out. What will you want to do when you recover? If you recover. A missing limb is devasting, but will you let that hold you back? Or maybe dead is truly your only path now? How fun it is to see some struggle. Don't worry yet though! The fun has just begun! The sky is not red just yet!
-Pain Anon
-Red Anon
(HOW? How do I write like that sometimes? I'm surprised. Have I always been able to do that??? I'm scared ;-; )
Idk which novel youāre talking about! But it sounds like I should hahaā¦ Iām reading the poppy wars series and itās really good so far.
Aras pov is probably the closest we will ever get to a Zuko POV. Her mind is dark and toxic and full of mental illness that makes someone feel bad for her (& some donāt) but unlike Zuko,,, Ara did HORRIBLE things to someone on purpose and Zuko was just forced to be a victim over and over again.
Zukos bending (or lack of) will continue to be a hurdle for himā¦ Iām not saying he is a permanent nonbender but he wonāt be back to full strength anytime soon. (Ha and azulas coming)
Ara & Jet are two wild cards right now because both have a BIG shock coming to them (one lost an arm & the other lost the only person left she trusted)
WE WILL SEE PAIN ANON!
#youāre very ominous haha. I love it.#Iām struggling to respond to all the asks so Iām sorry if I donāt answer the other ones#Iām working on it!#& then I played that ask game and got even more#NOT THAT IM COMPLAINING#oh please send me all your asks i swear I smile and skip around when I get them#& then I take forever to answer#but I donāt mean to!!!#I LOVE YOU ALL IM SORRY#Iām just soooo flawed haha#pain / red anon / secret thotty youāre amazing#red anon#pain anon#liab#ITF#ask
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When I get asks/messages this is me reading them:
#I get excited when people talk to me#even if I take forever to respond#Iām feral#š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ#doesnāt have to be a compliment it could just be hey#you: hey weirdo // me: š³š„°
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Me when I want to be wanted more than anything else
#I think Iād be more normal if I had more friends but every friend I lose makes me isolate more and more and now itās like I can only trust#people Iāve interacted with for years already#and then every time I try to make friends I either donāt respond (anxiety. not feeling a vibe. whatever) or they stop responding when I#actually like them (someone who talked to me for like four days in an row and then randomly blocked me no explanation)#I think if I made more friends or even talked to more people Iād understand how to do it successfully but I donāt have enough experience and#no one wants to be friends with me (and itās scary when they do!!!) wahhhhhhhhhh#I need to move somewhere new and talk to strangers Iām good at that#I made more friends a a concert age 14 than I have from me the ages of 16-19 and i think thatās ridiculous#how do I explain to everyone ever that nothing bad happened to me Iām just mentally ill bc my hormones are fucked and itās let me to spiral#and ruin my own life and then slowly painfully build my life back up and then crush it all again over and over again for years and years#to the point where Iām afraid Iāll never amount to anything so the idea of ever truly having people who find any value for me in their lives#feels like itās fake and then when I do finally trust people I end up loving too hard and fucking it up and then I isolate for even longer#itās takes me twice as long to find a new friend and trust them again and then it happens all over again#it feels like Iām destined to be alone bc I canāt tell the difference between platonic shit and flirting so I have a wall between me and#everyone else bc Iām afraid to like someone too much and confuse my brain bc I donāt ever want to like someone who doesnāt like me even if#itās as friends bc Iāve put more effort in than other ppl always but itās bc I put too much effort in and expect too much and no one else#is as weirdly obsessive and clingy and dedicated as I am bc Iām not normal and thatās why no one likes me bc I try too hard or not at all#and it makes everyone in my life family friends crushes whatever hate me bc Iām all or nothing forever I canāt just be normal#I think a lifetime of living with my mother has permanently damaged the way I see myself#who are all these normal ideal people in my brain why did my mother put them there and why will I always be worse than a hypothetical person#designed to shame me for struggling which gets louder the more I struggle#spirals cycles etc etc etc#ugh. I want my brain to turn off Iām gonna go take a dab and maybe delete this later
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I dont really like a lot of the people in my life anymore because when I let myself care it hurts too much so its easier to make myself not care
#i had quite a few online friends but only care about one. shes just an acquaintance i talk about cartoons with sometimes#i think I resent my other friends because i likely have bpd or something. they tried to get super close with me then they just leave#for months. and rationally i know its because life is busy and hard for them but#its hard to not take it personally#if we are just acquaintances i dont take distance personally#if you actually try to get to know me on a deep level then just leave it does feel personal....#like im too much. anyways I wanna cut off 2 people rn (mainly just one person)#she hasnt reached out in months (only 3 but) (it feels like forever.)(i dont want her in my life anymore. i need closure) .......#i wanna just unfriend her. I deleted our DMs bc unfriending feels impulsive#at least each month gets easier.#im tired of my stupid abandonment issues.#good on her for not reaching out to my toxic ass ig....#if i ever get a dm from her i dont know how im gonna feel. will i even want to respond?
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ā§ āŗĖ³ cw. fem! reader. husband nanami, whiney nanami, brÄeding, cowgirl, mdni. adding to this
riding nanami so good that it makes him want to propose. focusing his weight purely on his rocking chair, the continuous creaks sing as youāre rutting back and forth. ās- sweetheart,ā he slurs in a dreamy tune, a baritone-like rasp falling on his words. one hand of his grips toward your waist, tracing a thumb against the pretty curvature of your torso. whining yourself, you lean in toward his neck to bury your face near the crook, but he makes you collapse back. āno, no. donāt hide from me, wanna see those eyes,ā and as gentle, mahogany irises meet your own, he groans. āgood girl, my good girl. jusā keep lookinā at me, yeah.ā
ākennnn,ā you whimper, the repetitive dragging of your hips scratching a bittersweet carnal itch near the insides of your brain. his body heat was scorching hot, you thought you were gonna melt. the insatiable skin slapping against skin makes you deliriously numb, you want more. with your loose jaw hanging itself open, droopingāyou lean in to lick a stripe up his neck. āfuck, ās good. mhm,ā and each time you slam back and forth against him, he kisses his teeth. nanamiās sweating profusely, he barely even notices though because his entire attentionās focused on you. his pretty girl. although, the moment you start to dip your hips in a deep circular rotation, he tosses his head back.
āfuckinā s- shittt,ā he swears, and even his curses sounded so blissful . . sinful. for the first time in forever, nanami whines. the palm of his hand then closes in on your ass to give it a good firm squeeze. with fawn strands covering his eyes, he starts to shake. with his hefty chest heaving and a needy tone pouring from his voice, his gaze meets yours once more. āmarry me, m- marry me, i need you to be my wife, please.ā
an eyebrow of yours quirk upward at his words as a smile pierces its way against your spit-slicked lips. you throw your arms over his broad shoulders before giving him a sweet reply.
āhm?ā and your hips had him going insaneāthe tempo, it was just right. not too fast nor too slow. the centers of your jittery knees bury itself into the sides of the chair before you whisper into his ear. ādid you forget, baby? ām already your wife.ā
nanami moans, your voice was enough to make him spasm right then and thereāyou sounded so sweet but your insides felt even sweeter.
your sloppy cunt grips against him tight like a vice, simply clinging onto him for dear life. within each pull and bounce against his lap, your walls were so gummy and goopy. it was just tantalizing. you were nothing but a tease and he only craved for more as each second passes.
taking in every inch of his thick cock, you hold back a noise yourself. digging the edges of your teeth into your bottom lip to suppress an incoming squeal, you kiss his neck ā it was slow, you create a soft trail of butterflies with your lips. marking his neck with your own wings that press against your mouth.
āhah, oh . . are we?ā he responds, panting. with a hand still glued to your hip like itās made of adhesive, his eyes meets his ring finger. you and him were definitely still married. he groans, feeling a lump in his throat equivalent to the size of a saucer. āah, forgive me sweetheart. ām sorry, y- your hips are just so..ā
he doesnāt even bother trying to finish his trembling sentence before his cock kisses up against your g-spot once more. not just an ordinary kiss though, a french kiss.
itās sloppy, passionate, and exquisitely thorough.
tangled fingers of yours claw at his cerulean blue dress collar. with cobwebs and cobwebs of slick saliva sloshing against each mouth ā he huffs, shivering from your hands to roam further down his work shirt he wore. nanami was sexily slouched back, two thighs spread open for you with a single leg bouncing up and down in anticipation.
oh, he was close. his base sags and hangs as youāre rutting against him quicker and quicker. with a nice amount of fingers scraping through his hair and toying your fingertips with his scalp, you dip your tongue further into his mouth. ām- my love,ā he purrs, and you donāt think youāve ever heard him so whiney. his voice was melodic at most, each breaking syllable making the throbbing between your legs intensify. ādonāt stop, pleaseāi love you, i love you.ā
āi love you too āken,ā you babble, feeling the elastic stretch curve and pull through your walls.
your lips part and you moan before feeling him hold your waist tight. nanami groans against your ear and itās so low that it was almost a mere growl. it could have easily been mistaken as a growl with the raspiness in his voice. with your knees continuing to plow deeper into the chair, bouncing back and forth, he spanks you, again, and again, and again.
nanamiās about to come, you know once his prettily blown irises roll wayyy back until heās seeing white and his thin brows curl into a proper furrow.
each sloppy bounce against his lap punctuates so good that heās barely able to hold his moans back by now. you had him hooked. his faint poking dimples press together as he tries to speak, but instead of words, another dragging whine escapes. leaning up against his ear, your warm breath tickles his lobe. ācāmon, kento. cum in me, ās okay. make a mess in me, baby.ā
āf- fuck, keep talk to me just like that, sweetheart ān i might,ā he replies back in a shaky tone, feeling a chill reside up his spine.
your cuntās addictive warmth was preparing to milk him for all that heās worth. as he clenches down on his jaw for the umpteenth time, his grip against your waist tightens. āugh, ās gonna be so much. so much for you, my sweet l- love,ā and as heās rambling, a thick load abruptly shoots into your core, dribbling into your womb. itās hot, and when it rains it pours. nanami swallows thickly, the same lump that lived in his throat was now forming into a ball. your hips steadily slow down and you glance down to see the lewd mess emitting deeply into you. itās so muchāitās velvety, creamy ropes of cum that quickly fill you up to the very top. as his tip spits such sloppy amounts of seed into your starved cunt, he bites his lip. āoh, ās still cominā out. forgive me, ām givinā you all of me, princess.ā
with a soft smile, you kiss near the crevice of his mouth where a tiny crinkle caresses and marinates against his soft features. ādonāt apologize for being dirty, ken. ās okay.ā and his face softens at your words. nanami feels his body shudder with heat from how gentle you were with him.
youāre clinging onto him dry and heās still pumping you full of ridiculous inchesāfeaturing his beloved, syrupy textured cum. itās a whopping amount that he could barely process how much heās gifted to you until he actually looks down. the moment chest deflates, the sensitive crown head of his cock gives your sweetest spot its final chaste kiss. satisfied with being filled to the very brim, you donāt get off just yet. instead, you remain there, gently brushing your hips forward.
ām- marry me,ā he repeats, his voice cracking.
nanami hears the squelches and spurts your own pussy makes from the residue of cum spewing from the undersides of your legs. āah,ā and he grips your chin, attempting to kiss you but his lips instead reach toward your chin. you worn him out, heās barely even reaching your mouth and itās cute. nanamiās got hooded half lidded eyes and a pried open mouth. heās almost drooling for you, thatās how whipped you had him. ābe my wife, i need you.ā
kissing his cheek, you smile at his current pussy drunken state. taking a mental image to savor this moment forever, a thumb brushes its way against his tender cheek. āi'm your wife already, silly,ā and his eyes dramatically roll back in rapture again. nanamiās releases always last long, and heās still getting over it. his dick twitches from the sound of your voice, and he wanted more of his sweet sweet wife. the feeling of your sopping walls squeezing him for every ounce of cum heās got makes him grunt. it feels so good that itās almost heavenly. itās warm and insanely sticky ā oozing in ropey wads from your hole before trickling all near his lap. āall yours, ken.ā
āall m- mine,ā he repeats breathlessly, gently grabbing your wrist up to his mouth.
with a sheepish exhale leaving his lips, a free hand slithers its way toward your tummy. sighing deeply, nanami makes direct eye contact. āmy love,ā he repeats for a final time, and you gasp once he suddenly pulls out.
pouting for a second at feeling empty, he makes you lie flat on your back. nanamiās got a feral look in his eyes, broad shoulders raising up and down and messy unkempt strands all in his face, he wants one thing tonight and itās you.
as he spreads your quavering legs open with a single hand, he then creeps two fingers toward your stuffed cunt to smear his cum near your entrance. āsince weāre already married, let me g- give you a baby, sweetheart. youād be such a good m- mommy.ā
#ā
vegasbaby.#ilove him hhnnnbggc#nanami x reader#nanami x you#nanami smut#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento smut#nanami x y/n#kento nanami x reader#nanami kento#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x reader smut#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujustsu kaisen x reader#anime smut#female reader#jjk drabbles#jjk imagines
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