#even if i dont get the reading response done like i can deal with not doing that tonight even tho i really want to have it done

[coqhee]

LOVELY RIVALRY ♡ NI-KI ONESHOT

✷ in which your academic rival! niki just can't seem to get off your nerves

academic rival! n.rk x afab!reader︲highschool au, fluff, romance, comedy, enemies to lovers︲nicknames, teasing, cursing, grammar and spelling errors︲3.5k / more

─── ♡

“i have to study if i want to score higher than niki on this chemistry test! i love you guys but i don’t have time to hang out,” you stressed to your friends at lunch. you put your hand back to your forehead as you looked back down to your notebook on the table.

you spun your pencil in your free hand while revising your notes. the words, numbers, and diagrams on the paper slowly merging into one big jumble in your mind. the more you looked at it, the more you felt there was to forget. 

“how are you still studying dumbass? that shit was so easy,” said a voice behind you. that voice being easily recognizable, as it would be the one you bicker with every. single. day.

“fuck off, i was literally sick for 3 days,”

“okay? i probably could’ve been done with all that material and more in the same amount of time,” you turned your head back to look at the boy towering over you. you rolled your eyes upon seeing him smirk at you with a smug expression on his face.

there he was running his fingers through his styled hair pushing it backwards. you looked him up and down and saw him adjust his denim jacket zipping part of it up.

“you’re so immature, get out of my face dipshit,” you snort, not ready to deal with him. you had your final for chemistry next class and you couldn’t be wasting time for chit-chat. especially with niki of all people. 

he rolled his eyes at your response and walked off with his juice box in hand swiftly making his way towards his friends

─── ♡

you made your way to your locker whilst one of your karina, your best friend practice quizzed you using the flashcards you made for the test. you opened your locker to find your favorite candy and a note with your name on it.

“good luck on the test ____. i’m sure you’ll do great”

you read the note, then looked back at the candy. 

“what’s that?” karina called from behind you waiting for you.

“some random person dropped my favorite candy and a note in my locker,” you responded back examining the note and its handwriting. the writing was in pen and you could tell it was clearly written with lots of care.

“well it wasn’t me, cmon hurry up you’re going to miss your own final,” karina called out slowly starting to back away and towards the classroom door.

“yeah yeah im coming, dont leave me.”

you slowly closed your locker and shoved the candy into your backpack. you crumpled the note and shoved it into the back pocket of your pants hastily hoping no one would see it and assume stuff of you. 

─── ♡

“that’s gotta be the worst i’ve ever done on a final, let alone a chemistry final,” you sighed coming out of the classroom. 

“oh come on, you say that every single time and you score the highest. ‘i did the worst’ or ‘i bombed that test’,” your karina replied, mocking your distress, starting to walk down the hall at a slow pace waiting for you.

“is what it is i guess, what else can i really do,” you shrugged. 

“really bombed that test huh, even with all that studying. guess you’re really not all that,” a voice sneered behind you. you rolled your eyes upon hearing that familiar voice. 

you turned around to find the familiar boy towering above you with his arms crossed, his dark brown eyes staring down at you. his lips curled into a smirk seeing your distress firsthand.

“what now niki, come here to harass me and brag to me that you did better? cause jeez it’s like you want my attention or something so i’ll tell you what. i’ve run out of shits to give to you, or anyone for that matter, so why don’t you go fuck off and stop talking to me, because all you do is follow me around and berate me,” you snapped at him. you knew he was probably smart enough to score higher than you but you had too much pride to admit it. 

you watched as he scrunched his nose upon hearing your snappy response. you followed his eyes as they bounced from his folder in hand, to the clock, then to you.

you watched as he simply turned to walk away from the situation itself and away from you. something irked you about the way he didn’t respond to any of your rude distasteful comments and just stood there and took it.

“niki! wait please!” you shouted running after him after a good distance was built between the two of you.

he turned upon hearing your voice, “yeah?”

“im sorry that was really rude. im just stressed about the test, i shouldn’t have gotten pissed at you,” you looked down at the ground feeling guilty.

“i really want to score good this final, if I score about a 95% i can qualify for the chemistry scholarship and..” you continued, mumbling at the end.

you never saw him this up close, but from here you could see his dark brown eyes glowing with some sort of spark as he listened to you talk.

he suddenly reached out and brushed the strand of hair that fell in front of your face and tucked it behind your ear as you started to continue talking about the scholarship. 

“sorry it was just in your face, hope you don’t mind,”

you felt your face flush with pink from the gesture as you blinked a couple times taking in what had just happened. “i-i um, yeah no worries,” you managed to stutter out avoiding eye contact with the tall boy. 

he looked to his right at the clock, and finally spoke again, “you should probably get to lunch with your friends or something, or go back to studying for finals if you want valedictorian,” a soft smile fell on his face. an expression unfamiliar to you, especially on him. 

“even though you know I’ll score higher than you anyways,” he continued, the familiar smug smirk forming on his face. you rolled your eyes like always upon hearing him say something snarky or pretentious. 

you let off a small snort at his words and turned to take your leave. running to catch up to karina who looked annoyed at waiting for you so often.

“come on ____, you always take forever bickering with niki. hey why are you blushing like a school girl,”. you wanted to tell her your interaction with niki just now but decided to refrain, maybe it was just a one off thing. either way it’d be your little secret.

“nothing, just flustered from the test that’s all,” you said starting to walk to lunch. you took one look behind you to find niki staring at you. 

as you made eye contact, he mouthed something but unfortunately for you, you sucked at reading lips, especially from this far away. 

─── ♡

you bit your bottom lip in a nervous wreck. today would be the day you got your chemistry test back. unmotivated to go to class, you dragged your feet to your locker. karina rolled her eyes at this display tired of dealing with your shit.

“im sure you did fine, you couldn’t have bombed it that bad, for fucks sake you pulled an all nighter,” 

“yeah but you know she’s the toughest grader out of all the chem teachers,” you complained as you continued to chew on your bottom lip. 

you slowly clicked the numbers on your lock in order, pulling down the lock to open it. you swung the locker door open to grab your chemistry notebook. taking your notebook out, you found a note with a $20 bill clipped to it.

you furrowed your eyes in confusion. wiping the sleep out of your eyes just to make sure your eyes didn’t deceive you. you reached your right hand in to grab it holding your notebook on the left. 

“the same person left me free money and a note,” you called out to karina who stood behind you waiting. 

“yeah yeah that’s nice, now hurry up, the bell is gonna ring on us”

you swatted your hand at karina. “just go ahead i still need to lock my locker up,” karina nodded and ran off towards the classroom. 

you looked back at the note clipped to the $20 bill in confusion.

im sure you did well, treat yourself after school to something nice.

you looked around to see if anyone was around you as if the person who wrote the note was going to be right there. you looked right and left and saw the empty halls, indicated you probably should get to class.

“shouldn’t you be at class miss wannabe valedictorian,” a low voice rang behind you.

you whipped your head around to find the familiar face raising his eyebrows at your presence in the empty halls.

“yeah i would be but i have a secret admirer that decided to leave me $20 in my locker today,” you responded back with an annoyed tone. so much for a “nice” niki, you thought to yourself. maybe yesterday had just been a one off.

“you really think $20 and candy means you have a secret admirer,” he rolled his eyes. he looked at the ticking clock soon to ring. he crossed his arms raising one eyebrow at your ‘logic’.

“what else am I supposed to think?” you paused for a moment. “wait howd you know about the candy?” you asked. you furrowed your brows again looking up at the boy. 

you saw his eyes looking towards the ticking clock, and realized you should probably get to class. whatever you thought. hes probably just a creep who saw me take out candy yesterday. 

─── ♡

you walked into class and slid into your seat, once again feeling a wave of anxiety wash over you. you saw niki walk in through the door soon after not even sparing a glance towards you. no smug smile, not even sticking his tongue out at you in retaliation.

“class, i must say, i’m quite disappointed with your test scores this final, many of you will have to stay after class or take summer courses to earn credit for this class” your teacher started. this only amplified your stress but all you could do was sit there and watch as she handed out tests to the rest of your classmates.

you listened as she called your name up to get your test. you quickly got up to grab it and turned it over avoiding the red mark in the top right of your test with your score.

once she finished handing out tests she made her way to the front of the class.

“as always, i’d like to give attention to our top 3 scorers,”

you waited in anticipation as she grabbed a slip of paper from her desk. 

“our third highest scorer for this test was karina,” your friend held her hand to her mouth in shock. she turned to you with surprise as you cheered for her.

“our second highest scorer for this test was niki” your teacher stated plainly. you heard a holler from the back of the class from his friends.

“of course, our top scorer was  _____ with full marks and extra credit,” she announced. your eyes widened hearing this and you finally flipped your test over to find no red marks apart from a ‘100/100 +2 extra credit’ written on the front.

you clasped hands with karina in excitement. you turned around and locked eyes with niki. you stuck your tongue out to mock him as payback for how much he bragged to you, to which he shrugged.

─── ♡

later that day, you made your way to the student store to buy an ice cream with the $20 your secret admirer had given you.

the student managing the store, gave a second by mistake, stressed by the crowd at the store.

you looked around seeing if there was anyone you could give it to and there you saw niki. sitting alone. which was unusual considering this was the boy who was constantly crowded by people for his good looks, or athletic ability, or sometimes even academic ability.

you approached him with a soft smile. “thanks for motivating me to do better on the test. or at least to do better than you,” you said, holding out the second ice cream bar.

he looked up at you in confusion, then to the ice cream bar. he slowly reached out, taking the bar cautiously. 

“this isn’t poisoned or anything right?” he asked slowly unwrapping the bar. you rolled your eyes at the question which he took as a no.

“thanks for motivating me too. i guess.” he said, taking a bite into the cold stick of ice cream. you watched as he ate the bar quietly, his eyes falling to the floor while he ate.

“truce?” you asked. he looked up at you in confusion, blinked a couple times then nodded.

the two of you figured it was about time you exchanged numbers considering you’d spent all of your high school years competing with each other over grades, and now that it was over you wouldn’t really see each other.

─── ♡

over the course of the next few weeks, you found more and more gifts inside your locker whenever you opened it. it got to the point where you could practically expect to see something there.

you walked out of class your class to find niki standing outside waiting.

“why are you here?” you questioned. this was one of the few periods you had that you didn’t share with him. 

“dunno, I have free period so I figured i could walk you to class or something,” you looked him up and down and found his stance quite relaxed.

“as a thanks for the ice cream of course, don’t think too far into it,” he continued as if to justify his previous answer. he scratched the nape of his neck while looking off to the side . you blinked at him and replied with a short and simple “sure”. you couldn’t tell if you should be thankful or what of this gesture considering it was weeks ago that you gave him ice cream.

the two of you walked to your next class in silence too awkward to say anything. i mean, this was the same boy you bickered with every single day about grades and all of a sudden he wanted to walk you to class? how likely. 

the two of you arrived at your next class at what felt like the pace of a turtle. at the door niki grabbed you by the cuff of your sleeve to the side whilst you tried to enter your class.

“hey um. listen, i have a second ticket for a movie tonight at 7 and my friend canceled on me. i overheard you wanted to watch it with friends so i’m just asking to ask. don’t think im being nice it just kinda worked out this way,” he quickly blurted out. he ran his hand throw his hair, some strands falling in front of his eyes perfectly framing his face.

“yes niki, i’ll go with you, i know how desperately you wanted to go with me,” you joked with a chuckle, putting sarcastic emphasis on ‘desperately’. you could see the shock in his eyes to your response which he quickly masked. 

in honesty you found it cute seeing his expression to your response, the way his eyed fluttered open in shock, and a pink shade rose to his cheeks. wait. niki? cute? you thought to yourself.

“yeah that’s cool or whatever. i can pick you up if you need a ride,” he said.

“sure i’ll text you my address later”

you turned to make your way into class with an undeniable smile on your face.

─── ♡

later that night you heard the doorbell of your house ring and you saw niki standing beside the car door of an old beat up van. you smiled to yourself as you yelled out to your parents you were leaving. 

you made your way out to the car, if you could even call it that considering how beat up it was. 

“im not taking the nice car for you, you get the beat up one,” he quickly stated, rolling his eyes as you approached the car, knowing damn well it’s the only car he had. you laughed at his snappiness and opened the door for yourself.

on the drive to the theater the two of you entertained small talk, learning more about each other. you learned about his love for dancing in his free time, and how he had a dog named bisco.

at the theater, he ordered two popcorns, and shoved the second one into your arms and when you offered to pay him back he simply responded “don’t think too much into it” and shrugged. you smiled at the gesture.

after the movie ended he offered to drive you back which you gladly accepted as you wouldn’t have to bother your parents. 

the ride back was mostly the same, except this time you saw him in a new light. the way he smiled contently to himself, fully focused on the road ahead. the way the wind from the open window blew softly against his hair. 

when you arrived at your house, he unlocked the door. and walked you to your doorstep.

“thank you for tonight, niki. i really appreciate it.”

“yeah, yeah it’s nothing. you can tell me i’m the best now,” he said smugly, joking around. you rolled your eyes like you always would.

“genuinely though, it was really nice of you,” you reemphasized thanking him again to which he nodded. 

the two of you looked up at the full moon that night, the light radiating strongly. the moon illuminating the stars surrounding it.

“it looks pretty doesn’t it,” you said in awe of the moon, it’s light captivating you.

“you look pretty too,” he said under his breath. you turned to him and he seemed shocked of what came out of his mouth too, to which he sharply inhaled

“what’d you say?” you asked just to make sure you heard him right.

“i said you look shitty,” he said with a flustered expression, as he started to jog off to his car in a panic. 

you saw as he started the engine of his beat up van up and waved to him as he pulled out of your driveway.

“goodnight niki!” you shouted to which he shooed you off through the window. you giggled at the motion and made your way inside your house.

─── ♡

you were talking with karina as you made to your way to your locker. you opened the lock easily and grabbed your physics notebook to find another note.

“thats what im saying, we should totally go sometime,” you karina said behind you continuing your conversation from earlier.

“yeah for sure, why don’t you start heading to chemistry, i’ll be a bit,” you replied while unfolding the note. she sighed and made her way towards your chemistry class.

you looked down at the note while closing your locker. 

turn around 

you whipped around to find niki standing there. craning over you with a smug look.

“oh we’re back to this already aren’t we,” you said in an annoyed tone, maybe he hadn’t actually changed.

“oh come on, you read the note you should know someone would be behind you,” he said equally annoyed. 

“wait that’s from you? wait..” you questioned. you slowly put the pieces together in your head. he stared at you with a dumbfounded look.

“yeah yeah i’m you’re secret admirer or whatever let’s get that out of the way. ____ i really like you, i’d like to go out with you again tonight,” he confessed holding a bouquet of flowers. 

you looked around in the halls as if to see anyone ready to laugh if this was a joke.

“or tomorrow. or literally whenever you’re free, i’ll take the closest date,” he continued rambling. 

you finally looked up at the boy, his eyes glistening with genuity and a sense of gentleness. 

“tonight works.”

he smiled finally hearing you speak and handed you the flowers. you giggled at the gesture and took them, holding them close.

“cheesy,” you commented while smelling the flowers.

“don’t think too much into it,” he retorted, slinging an arm around your shoulder pulling you closer to him. you blushed at the gesture and looked up at the boy who had seemingly been admiring you for quite a while

it was weird seeing the boy you bickered with every day for years and saw as your rival now holding you by his side smiling with pride. you could get used to it though you thought as you put your head on his shoulder with a satisfied smile.

@ coqhee 2024 - all rights reserved.

[uneednotknow]

Vaughn Morozov

A hc of what I imagine him to be like.

Vaughn Morozov, the Pakhan's heir. The Gentleman of the Bratva. The Manipulator. The Mastermind.

He isnt necessarily silent and quiet but he doesn't talk much, either. He got the manners, the charm and the etiquette of what one would call the ideal man. He has the looks, the body, the height, the hair and the money. But above all he is responsible and a smart man.

He knows when and how to use his charm especially in terms of business to either get the deal done or to deceit. He knows and plans things so effortlessly well, its almost flawless. He is also 10 steps ahead of everyone. He is analytical and calculative. A Mastermind. He rules the game, the world and the people, and he would do it so easily that they won't even realise it.

He isnt known as the gentleman for no reason. He is respectful and straightforward. Unlike most of the ruthless men in the Bratva, who springs to brutal actions almost immediately, he is calm. He resorts to let the mind games play, he likes messing up the mentality of the people, because he understands that mental pain is possibly more cruel and painful than physical pain. He resorts to quietly finishing the job because he isnt a fan of showcasing his work to the people.

He is so eloquent with his words and works. He dont need to talk much to get people to his side. He is a man of his words but mostly a man of actions. He won't hesitate to strike when nobody is looking, he won't hesitate to manipulate and make things work out on his favour.

He is a smart man, he knows what strings to pull, what steps to take. And it all comes from being a logical thinker, it comes from having parents who are one of the most important figures in the Bratva, he knows he needs to be well aware of his surroundings in case trouble strikes. It comes from seeing situations through every looking glass. It comes from being a great born-leader.

He likes to keep the side of his street clean and that's very hard to maintain especially being in the mafia. But nobody knows what happens to people who has crossed him or his loved ones. You just know they have suffered gravely. He keeps his business private. Those who needs to know will know and that's it.

He drives. Really, really well. The Mercesdes-Benz, his parents got him for his 18th birthday is one of his prized possessions. He dont ask for much from his parents, he rarely does. Mostly because they have provided him with all that he needed. And it's because he doesn't want to leech off people, he doesn't want to ask things from anyone when he knows he is equally capable of being able to do things for himself.

When he is in the UK, he rides his bike, going for joy rides with them. Though he maybe the youngest, he is undoubtedly a brilliant and mature one. Sophisticated and intimidating, Vaughn enjoys his chase. But he also let's down his guard and takes in the fresh air of youth, he knows how to enjoy his life while learning not to be vulnerable in the eyes of the people.

He can cook, clean, fend for himself. He is self-sufficient and has learned from a young age that there is no other way to success other than hard work along with smart work.

He likes to read. He like to solve puzzles, play chess, watch crime documentaries and just solve anything that needs to be solved. Maybe that's boring for most but that's how he keeps his brain to actively work and think strategically.

He is also athletic, joining the school's sports team to keep himself physically fit. He may not be the best at it but he is above average, he plays football, basketball, tennis. Exceptionally great at ice hockey (according to my headcannon.)

Because he likes to keep himself updated with the people around him and the world, he knows many things about people. If he wants he can extract informations that people have tried their best to hide too.

He might even enlist in the military, just like his mom and dad and climb ranks, but he might not stay long to accomplish that, maybe for 2 or 3 years. Because he has other responsibilities. But he will be there for the experience and knowledge.

He is academically thriving as well. Taking up computer science, physics or any of the challenging STEM subjects, because like mentioned above he likes to keep his brain to actively work to find solutions.

He is without a doubt a great son and a great friend. He won't say it out loud but he will, for sure, be their for people who needs him. Be it for advise or just be there for them. He is a great companion to his dad, helping him with works, though his father never asks him to burden himself with such works at a young age. He is a great son to his mom, driving her to places, going shopping for anything, helping his mom around the house though they have people for that.

He is the type of son, whose parents need not worry about him doing the wrong thing or being in thr wrong place. They only worry about him over working himself. He likes to be in his best behaviour, be the best in what he do.

Overall, Vaughn Morozov, is a man, who obviously has his flaws but doesn't shy away from correcting himself and move forward to be better and stronger.

He made a cameo and im intrigued by him. But honestly, as much as I want to read about him judging by how RK has disappointed some(most) of her characters in their own books, I'm afraid she might do the same to Vaughn too. So in a way, it's better to leave him as he is, but at the same time he seems to be a character full of potential, to me at least.

Anyways, thank you for reading my previous post.

Hope you enjoy this as well.

[veren-cos]

Astarion x Reader (Bg3)

Gn reader with chronic pain

This one is pretty recent but lmk if I made any mistakes! Not proof read.

Astarion sauntered into the room after a successful night of hunting. He was hyper aware of everything from his latest feed, so the minute you made a move he noticed you were off.

And off you were, you looked like a wreck. You were in the same spot on the bed as when he left — hours ago. "Darling, are you alright?" There was concern in his voice.

You took the blanket and threw it over your face. Astarion's expression crinkled. He sat down next to where you lay, "My love, what's wrong?" He went to run his fingers through your hair but you pushed an arm out to nudge him away. He took a short pause, "I can't know what's wrong unless you speak to me."

You let out a groan, "I don't want to talk about it." There was a something in your voice that Astarion couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Then I won't make you, but please don't push me away."

You were a sucker for contact- holding hands, hugs, light kisses. Anything and everything he'd allow. He tried reaching his hand out again, and you let him.

"I'm sorry" it was barely above a whisper.

He hesitated a bit but his hand kept a steady pace on your head. "Whatever for? You haven't done anything wrong." He laughed a bit, "unless you were causing mischief without me today."

"I'm sorry you have to put up with me." You tighten your grip on the blanket covering your face, avoiding his. You just knew that he was going to look at you with pity. Pity? Anger maybe. Something serious, and you didn't want to deal with that. You felt bad enough, everything ached... Nothing was going right today.

"Put up with you?" Astarion was baffled, "Darling I look at you as pure perfection. You are who I desire to be with, the one who I will spend the rest of my days. How could I ever 'put up with you'?" He even does the quotes with his hands for dramatic flair, not that you could quite see it. "It is you in which my love knows no bounds. Nothing could keep me away from you, as long as you'll have me. I dont get why you cant just care for yourself a little more? You are certainly deserving of it."

This wasn't the response you thought you'd get at all. Your body shook, wanting to cry from the seering pain and his sentiment. "I am not deserving of this. Of any of your affection. I care for you. You are so. Perfect. And I am far from that. I hurt. Constantly. I know you know this, and that you don't mind. But I don't want this for you. You deserve someone who doesn't just curl up in bed all day the second something hurts a bit more than normal. You deserve someone who will... be there! I can't be there. Not all the time. I'm barely here for myself! I just sit here, ignoring everything my body is telling me because I refuse to get help! I refuse to get help from anyone. But i especially refuse to get help from you. Astarion, I can't handle the guilt."

You sit up, much regretting that choice, but doing it regardless to make a point. You took a dramatic breath, "Why cant i take care of myself, you ask? Because i dont care about myself! I loath every minute i spend in this body. Every day! And i cant fathom why you care about me."

He takes a moment, staring into your eyes as he contemplates what to respond. "Darling. My love. Is that what this is about?" You turn to look away but he took your face to make you look at him once again. "I know you are in pain. And I am here for you. I need you to know this. I dont care about anything else. I just want to be here for you. I know I can't take it away, believe me if I could, I would. But you need to tell me when this happens. If nothing else I can just whisper in your ear. Sweet little nothings to get you to sleep, hm?"

And that he did. Astarion laid you back down again, joining you under the covers. As much as you wanted to put up a fight, your body gave out on you. He was cold. He always was, but it felt nice against your skin. He pulled you into a loose hug, carefully avoiding places you flinched at. You reciprocated the gesture, wrapping your arms around his waist. He was working basically as a elven ice-pack, and you adjusted his hands to wherever the pain was. "Thank you."

"..."

"I'll try. I'll talk to you more." When you were done, he placed a kiss on your forehead as he nuzzled in.

"There is nothing to thank. It's what I'm here for. I love you." He let out an icy breath.

"I love you too."

He smiled, "Now go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning. I promise. And we will lay right here until you do, I won't let you go."

[totheidiot]

Lawlight coffee shop au thought that wont leave my brain. Since L knows Light's schedule [its probably the same all of the time because of university] what if Light didn't come in one day. L is outside per usual waiting for Light to show up, and by the time he's supposed to be there, he isn't. Maybe he's late [he isn't late. In all of this time he's never been late.], its not a huge deal. Eventually L realizes that Light is Not Coming and calls him [somehow L got him to exchange phone numbers. Light probably did it out of politeness. L's contact name is probably 'freak from work' or something] because texting has a delayed response and he's curious to hear what made Mr. Perfect and Professional late. A very sick, tired and confused Light picks up the phone without reading the contact because as previously said he is sick, tired, and confused, and as soon as he hears L's voice he recognizes it [because of course he does. This guy comes into his job every day].

L says something about Light not being in work. Light tells him that he's sick and has a fever. L asks if he's taken medicine. Light thinks its a stupid question because obviously he did. why wouldnt he. Its common sense [he just says yes]. L asks what his temperature is because he feels like being nosy about this and Light just says "its not that bad" [it is that bad] which is Suspicious because if it really wasnt that bad he wouldve just said a number. He doesn't press on it much because Light can just hang up on him if he annoys him too hard and that would suck.

Anyway it becomes very clear that the only things Light has done are take his temp, take medicine, and call in sick to work. So L decides hes going to go over there to check on Light [dont ask how he has his address, i dont know] because he sounds like shit and who else is he supposed to bother at the coffee shop. Light objects to this and says that hes fine but L is still going [obviously].

Anyway they hang out and stuff [L has hand sanitizer on him and makes a point of using it way too much he is NOT getting sick] and Light is pissed off about the whole thing [naturally] but at least he isnt being accused of being a wanted criminal so thats a plus[?]. L leaves after a little while and after this i imagine that Light is like "wait. Does he care. Why does this not bother me." And realizes that hes starting to see L as an actual friend and is so disgusted/confused and decides that the sickness is getting to him [its not that] and agressively doesnt think about it or the fact that the feeling doesnt go away after hes healthy. L's already had this realization but it was more like "huh. I guess we are friends." And thats it. Anyway they dont talk about it after this but it bothers Light soooo bad. [If this is innacurate its because its late and im tired but this had to leave my brain. Also i had to retype this because i accidentally closed tumblr after getting really excited about getting a card in proseka so ✌️jeez this is way longer than i thought lol]

THE WAY I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENING??? like a few days ago, i had this half-baked idea where light doesn't come to work for whatever reason (sickness wasn't my only idea for why he was off like maybe it's sayu's birthday and that's why he needs to go home or something but THIS IDEA. he js off because of sickness yes). so light wakes up with a cold and fever one weekend and he is like fuckkkk and he just calls up the cafe and calls kn sick and asks if mikami can take his shift today as well as do his own. kind of on topic but also not i figured out matsuda + mikami + light's schedule. light takes evening shifts three days on the weekdays and mikami takes the remaining two days along with working with light together for one day. matsuda works the morning and afternoon shifts in the weekdays because he's not a student like light and mikami is. on the weekends, light works the morning shift that kind of falls onto noon (like 9 am to 1 pm) and mikami works from 1 pm to 5 pm. MOVING ON FROM THAT.

so L pulls up to the cafe in his usual morning time in aaturday, expecting to find light there but he is surprised to find that there's another barista, mikami. he js deeply confused like light-kun is the most punctual man he has ever met, he works at the cafe in all of his shifts without fail. and a part of him is. disappointed that he is not catching sight of light. he needs to find out what's going on with him. he enters the cafe, not joining the ordering queue though because the only person he is ever getting service from is light. he kinda just hangs around and he is about to call light to learn why he wasn't here but then, mikami spots him and he recognizes L. mikami's shifts coincide with light's shifts sometimes so he'll sometimes see L, talking to light and getting his order from light. also light complains about him sometimes since mikami and matsuda are most probably the only people he actually talks to and can call 'friends', other than L of course.

so mikami is intrigued, calls L over, says hello, tells him that light talks about him sometimes. he informs L that oh, light is off sick so he is taking over his shift. L is like oh?? he leaves the cafe and goes to give light a call. LIGHT HAS HIM SAVED FREAK FROM WORK, THAT IS SO SO SO CANONNNN. post learning his name, i think the first thing light does is so so smugly, take out his phone, go to his contacts and saves his number as "L". it's such a small move but he is filled with so much pride and so smug about it.

BUT ANYWAYS, calls him up and light answers without much regard. even his voice sounds sore and L pesters him with questions. light is so annoyed and tired about it and L can tell from his tone that though light is Very sick, he isn't doing shit for it. so L doesn't know his address just yet but still, he is going to show up and make sure he actually does something. L is like, "light. give me your address. i am coming to you and light is like ??? no???? why do you need my address???? (he is polite about it though) but L is ADAMANT, he is GOING to come to light's house and they are going back and forth about it but light is completely out of breath and so sore and too tired to even argue about it more so he gives up and is like, "fine. i'll text you my address."

so L pulls up, even though he had been trying so hard to convince light to come to his house to check up on him, he would still be such a bitch about it. he pulls up in a face mask, gloves, hand sanitizer and light rolls his eyes but nevertheless, L does try his best to kind of take care of light. L takes his temperature, fusses over it when he finds that it's so high. makes him hot tea and soup. it's actually kind of soft and tender. L doesn't leave light's side until it's night, when he makes sure that light goes to sleep and only after that, does he leave. light feels this strange feeling of warmth inside him and when L was taking care of him, he was so red and flushed. he doesn't think deeply about this. he blames it on the sickness.

one little, tiny detail. you mentioned in an ask that light has a cat in his apartment and i had this sudden mental image where the cat is kind of rude and antisocial, doesn't like people at all. it took so long for the cat to even warm up to light but as soon as L came into the apartment, the cat was all over him. following him around, rubbing against his leg. all of that.

THIS WAS A LONG POST BUT I HOPE YOU GET MY VISION YES. KEEP SENDING ME MORE ASKS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

[shuyamino]

PUTTING YOU IN YOUR PLACE

pairing(s) : ✒ ،، mysta rias x reader

content : ✒ ،، mild NSFW | reader is gn (no pronouns used) | reader has a crush, but is stupid about it | college!au | tension | reader is a bit of a brat, mysta isn't having it

notes : ✒ ،، this is just the finished portion of this fic. i meant to write the rest (which is him fucking you) but i just never did, but this portion is good enough too tbh. have fun!

also, pls dont treat ur crushes this way. LOL

minors + ageless blogs dni (u will b blocked) ;; read through content before reading more!

“Are you even listening to me?“

You look up from your notebook with your eyebrows pinched tight. You were listening for a while, but you initially figured Mysta would just taper off and finish his portion of the project. Mysta’s lips are pursed, and even with the library chatter, you can hear the incessant tapping of his feet. The growing animosity between the two of you can be cut by a butter knife at this point. As elated as you were to be paired with him, it seemed like neither of you could get through these study sessions without arguing.

It was mostly your fault with your knee-jerk reaction to act cold. By this point, it was all autopilot. And as much as you wanted to apologize —

“No. I’m doing my work, unlike you.” You reply after a beat of silence, hoping your voice stays stable. You mentally cursed yourself – why was that your initial response to him? It was stupid. You’re in college, acting like a three-year-old with a crush. You’re basically one step away from pulling his hair in the playground. “Are you done talking?”

“I–” Mysta pauses to take a deep breath. “Okay. We need to talk.”

You pause. The bitter edge of Mysta’s tone made your heart sink – maybe it was time to apologize. Come clean and explain why you were acting like a child but you bite your bottom lip and should listen. It’s easy to sit still and let him talk.

“...I should go, actually.” You say instead. Your body moves before you can help it – standing up from your chair and moving to pack your things. Mysta is quicker. He stands from his seat and blocks you from getting away. Your attempt to step back is met with the heavy, wooden table. “Mysta, move.”

“Not until you tell me what the hell your deal is.”

Your eyes scan the library floor – it wasn’t as filled with other students. Mysta insisted on climbing up to the top floors because the louder floors ruined his attention span. Still, even if there were fewer patrons – you two were still in public, even in the more secluded corners of this floor.

Mysta doesn’t budge, continuing to crowd into your space.

No, no. This can’t be happening – 

Your cheeks burn. Mysta is looking down at you now, his face twisted to an annoyed sneer. He’s not the tallest person but is significantly taller than you – forcing you to tilt your head up just to meet his gaze.

“What is it? Did I say something to offend you or piss you off?” Mysta continues. His breath fans against your cheeks as you stand there, hoping to push down the incessant pounding of your heart. “I know I can be a dickhead sometimes, but you’re just…always one!”

You drop your gaze to the ground, your fingers fidgeting with your sweater sleeve. You’re conflicted – a part of you elated that Mysta is initiating…something. But a more prideful part of you wants him away.

“Why are you looking away?” Mysta clicks his tongue. “If there’s something I did wrong, you should tell me. You had no trouble spouting shit at me before – what changed now?”

“W-well…” You begin, voice pinched. You close your eyes before sucking in a shaky breath. “Can you back up first?”

A pause. Mysta wasn’t going to move anytime soon.

“...P…Please…?”

The sudden shift in the air is almost palpable when that word slipped from your mouth. Mysta’s eyes lidded – the usually bright blue irises darken as he stares down at you. A pleased smirk curves his lips – one that should piss you off; instead, it makes your face burn brighter. Even under the consistent air conditioning of the library, you feel hot under the collar. You clench your fists, hoping to ground yourself by doing so.

“Are you blushing?” He asks, incredulous. A deep chuckle slips past his lips, sending a shiver down your spine. Your jaw slacks, mouth hanging open at his reaction. He leans closer to get a better look at your face. “Oh my god, you are.”

“I-I’m not!” You protest. “Fuck off.”

“Ah, there it is. All that bite but no bark.” Mysta’s voice drops an octave, a tone you weren’t used to. He’d always been such a loudmouth; not once could you have predicted he could drop his voice like this. “You could easily punch me or push me off. I’m not that much bigger than you.”

“I’m not –” Your words get caught in your throat. “I-I don’t…”

“What is it? Do you like it when I talk to you like this?”

“We’re in…we’re in public.” You snap, hoping it would be enough to deter him, though the slight tremble in your voice wasn’t convincing enough.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” A sparkle of mischief flashes in Mysta’s eyes, and it looks like his smirk grew wider. “If all I needed to do was talk like this to get you to shut the fuck up, I would’ve done it sooner.”

“Fuck you, Mysta.”

Mysta hums. “You said it yourself – we’re in public.” He even dares to sound scandalized. As if he wasn’t the one crowding into your space. “...Unless you’re into that, of course.”

He’s absolutely shameless. You knew this from his crude jokes, but he never fails to catch you off guard. 

Just as you were about to push him away and escape the suddenly stuffy library – a pair of girls pass by, chatting with one another. You were overlooked entirely, but their voices broke the brittle tension between you. It collapses all at once. Your face cools down, and the heat is much more bearable than before. Mysta shifts back and turns his attention towards the two girls – you couldn’t fully catch his expression, but you spotted the slightest glare from the side.

The two women pass without much of a glance. It wasn’t long until they were out of earshot.

Mysta sighs, irritated, before turning back to face you. The almost-predatory glint that settled over his blue eyes sent a shiver down your spine. 

“Why don’t we talk more in private?” Mysta whispers against your ear, his cool breath fanning against your flushed skin. Any convictions left in your mind disappear as you nod your head.

[belovedstarrs]

do you even care?!

• pairing : geto x fem!reader

• tags : angst, breakup??, just a shit ton of one-sided fighting (verbal) , language galore, drinking mentioned & used, cheating, geto never betrays jujutsu high au.

• a/n : god im half asleep writing this and i havent proof-read sooooo deal w/ it i just need to actually post and get over this writing slump.

• w/c : 602

• loosely based off of all too well & youre losing me

you were laying in your bed and pondering. suguru hasnt been home in hours and he told you he was gonna be home at 5 pm, its 10 pm. you checked his location and he turned it off a few hours ago.

you heard the keys jangle in the doorknobs and you quickly got up, you didnt even know what you wanted to say to him. you looked out your doorframe and saw him taking off his shoes at the front entrance as you angrily walked over.

"suguru what the hell! where the fuck where you at? you turned off your damn location. you know what nevermind you were probably at the bar with gojo flirting with some girls since you clearly dont give a shit about me."

it all blurted out, you felt like throwing up. why now? suguru had to take a minute to process everything from you talking to fast. "y/n i wasnt flirting with any girls nor at the bar. i just had gotten a new mission right before i got off and my phone had died." he said with no emotion in his voice. you could tell it was a lie. just by the way he looks uneasy you can tell hes been drinking.

"oh stop giving me that bullshit suguru. if you dont like me just fucking say it. i dont get how you can just cheat on me yet still have the balls to say the words i love you." you wanted to die. you used to love this man with your whole life, why is this happening? why does he lie to you so much.

the past 3 months have felt like hell. sugurus been getting more distant and staying out later than he tells you while getting drunk. you dont fucking get it. why is he doing this? what have you done to deserve this? youve put so much into this relationship and hes tearing it apart like its nothing.

he doesnt even have a response to your stinging words. "y/n i promise i still lov-" you quickly cut him off. "you dont ever keep your promises! stop spouting shit that isnt true for once! your just an asshole liar." you pause for a moment before you continue

"why have you put nothing into our relationship? did you never love me from the start? ive been trying so fucking hard to still love you and act as nothing is wrong and ive tried to tell you that but youre just a dumbass!" you brush shoulders as you go to the front door to quickly put on your shoes and a coat to leave. making sure to grab your keys and get the hell out before he says anything.

there was this burning feeling in your chest that also felt like a little freedom. were you meant to not be with suguru? you wished so hard in your head he would come back for you and apologize, make it right. you kept walking down the street and nothing happened.

you pulled out your phone to text utahime and ask if you could stay the night.

y/n : utahime you awake?

utahime : yeah. why?

y/n : just fought with suguru. wondering if i could stay the night.

utahime : totally! stay for as long as you need.

that gave you some relief. your gonna have to figure out you and sugurus situation but for now you need time to yourself to figure out what the hell youre gonna do with him since you two live together and dont have a actual apartment of your own.

part 2 is out now!!

made by @belovedstarrs do not copy or use in any way without permission

[clockeyedtoy]

So disgusting how this fandom dogpiles on ppl like tomb n many others who have spoken out abt the bullying n ableism angelwowings/tulip and outkast has done against them, but ignores the real ableism happening. U guys were so quick to turn on tomb for lacking empathy, yet u support ppl who have openly n repeatedly emotionally abused ppl w mental health issues. How quickly u guys believed lies abt tomb how hes an abuser, nazi, ableist, etc while supporting the same people who MANY mentally ill ppl have spoke out against.

Tomb took responsibility for his actions. Tulip is doing nothing but lie n avoid accountability. U didnt let tomb breathe after 5 months of constantly stalking n harassing him w obsessive behaviour towards him, u insulted ppl dealing with paranoia, bpd, npd, u dehumanized and insulted those who lack empathy. Learn from n own up to ur mistakes. U dont get a free pass after all the harm u've caused.

We have literally been given proof from her old associate that tulip didnt gaf abt the real issues w/ tomb or actually wanting to see improvements, she was freakishly obsessed w deplatforming him n causing drama. Tomb has improved. N even if he hasnt, mentally ill ppl do NOT fucking owe u recovery or to be fucking consumable! U wouldn't shame a schizophrenic person for having delusions or a borderline for having mood swings? This is so disgusting to see ppl jump on the bandwagon n then turn a blind eye when multiple ppl have come out abt tulip and outkasts current n genuine ableism. It wasnt js a one-off or jokes in bad taste.

And for everyone who blindly believed cropped screenshots, twisted context, n straight up lies, shame on u. Go ahead pick ur sides but we can all see how u react in the face of the same mental health issues u guys love to romanticize in the creepypasta characters. Do better.

And before anyone says shit, yea we tried to "talk it out" but get over urself. U cant "talk out" rampant ableism w ppl who dont gaf abt u or ppl like u. Tomb is kindhearted forgiving and mature enough to talk it out but tulip only made her friend act like a messenger to avoid responsibility.

[murdockmeta]

hi, im new here (not to dd just to the tumblr sphere— why does everyone seem to hate zdarsky/checchetto? i really enjoyed the first part of zdarkys run and i adore checchetto’s art + design, so idk what i missed that makes everyone who comicsposts dislike it so much??

hm. this isn't the easiest question to answer. there's a LOT of different reasons as to why people disliked that run.

tbh I'll admit the first 20 or so issues of v6 are kind of okay. not impossible to read. it goes downhill fast after that, tho. very very downhill.

here's this post by @/xycuro-illuminati that does a good job of explaining why so many people disliked the run. here's my post on the ableism in zdarsky's writing. trust me you aren't the first person who's asked this question before

i'll give you a more general answer of my own opinion, tho

zdarsky's writing misses what most consider to be crucial points of Matt and Elektra's characters. with this, he entirely obliterates their characterization and that really pissed a lot of comics fans off.

i would consider volume 6 to be the beginning of the MCU-ification of dd. it is clear that at that point, some higher-ups were pushing for daredevil comics to become more like the show. the show was a MASSIVE hit and they wanted to cash in on that. so, they had the writers start shifting the comics and the characterization around to fit the show better.

this is where the problem lies. it is insulting, honestly, to ignore the past 50 plus years of writing for matt's character to shift it into something that will be more palatable to live actions fans just so marvel can get a good payday.

the most glaringly noticeable part of this is - the catholicism. the live action show makes a big deal out of matt being catholic when this was never really the case in the comics. while matt being religious and catholic are present in matt's background in the comics, it's not even close to being a big part of the character.

one of the main things that makes matt so compelling as a character is his morality, his integrity. he upholds his moral code relentlessly because he believes it is the right thing to do. he believes everyone deserves a second chance no matter what. in zdarsky's run and in the show, matt's reason for upholding his moral code is tied to his religious beliefs.

here's a good post on the origins of catholicism being related to matt's character and how it differs from the show and why it is such an injustice to tie matt's morality to his religion.

it's really really hard to articulate every single thing that's wrong with zdarsky's run while also giving you a thorough explanation.

i could tell you about how zdarsky's original plot was focused around matt's guilt when he accidentally kills someone but... matt's killed people before. he killed someone in his very first issue. ever. he was chasing after the man who was responsible for his father's murder and scared him so badly the man had a heart attack and died.

all of zdarsky's plots and subplots are all things that have been done over and over, he just writes it worse.

i could tell you about how shitty checchetto's art is. he can't draw women. or fat people (foggy fans deserve reparations). toward the end of the run he gets ESPECIALLY sloppy. he whitewashed kirsten and sam.

i could tell you about how zdarsky wrecked elektra's character. he completely ignored her origins and the character development she's had over the course of decades of writing just to slap some random retconned backstory onto her.

theres so. many. things.

i got into the comics through the show. when I started reading the comics I honestly perceived comics matt and show matt as two entirely different characters because they just felt so incredibly separate from one another. it is not that there are zero similarities, but their reasons for WHY they are the way that they are diverge wildly from each other

i dont know how else to put it except to say this. when I read zdarsky's run, I do not feel like I'm reading about Matt Murdock. it doesn't feel like matt, it doesn't feel like daredevil. it feels like an entirely new character that I do not know.

to fully explain to you why i feel that way would take a damn book. i realize that my answer isn't at all comprehensive and some parts are probably confusing but it is impossible to pick a start and end point. that's just not matt. that's it.

[inconsideratekidney]

10/9/24

hey guys,

something's wrong with my computer. it can barely run all my chrome tabs anymore like it used to. it still functions i suppose, but its very slow and doesn't charge with this one charger i have--my backup charger. i bring this one around so i don't have to bring my big one. the big one that is like my only dependable charger apparently. this backup charger works on my phone and my tablet, but my laptop just won't accept it as a charger for whatever reason. it's super cool and lights up when it's plugged into a power source. it's got 3 different offshoots for usb-c, lightning cable, and something else idk what it's called but it's like an hdmi-shaped version of the lightning cable sized one. anyway, who cares about all that. my laptop has not turned on while the cable is plugged in and it pisses me off so much. i wish my laptop would finally explode like it wants to so i can get a new one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

im not really sure what kind of audience is actually reading my blogs. i know most don't keep up, cuz its a blog and no one wants to read about someones personal life go on and on, but it is very therapeutic for me. i honestly dgaf who reads it or doesn't. just that i have a place to put my thoughts. i would love feedback or any kind of response literally, like idc what, i like to have conversations with ppl so if u want to go ahead. ill try to stop asking, but i feel like ppl don't feel right doing it or are straight up just not reading any of this. who knows. womp womp.

speaking of which, the things i write about are the kinds of topics i want to talk about with ppl, but are the ones that ppl dont stay on for too long. what i mean to say is that i can bring something up and not have the time to say it all, or the interest of the other person to listen; wait; then let me finish my thoughts, and then actually want a response from them. i often find myself wanting someone to just listen to me go on and on, and most ppl can't stand that or can't stay on the same topic i want to talk about. if i ever do find myself with someone who will let me talk, i'm so conditioned to change the subject for fear that i'm bothering them and sub-consciously/consciously change the subject so i don't lose ppl in conversation.

i had no idea how to recruit "fans" or whatever lol. i had no idea who really wanted to read these blogs. i just find them fun--i'd like to think i'm funny sometimes and that people enjoy what i have to say, so that they can read into what i'm thinking about on their own time. i don't have to bother people with my existence in a conversation back and forth if they don't want to. if you can't stand my writing u can just click away. it's not a big deal. my whole thing is that if you really did want to respond, i'd be down to have a chat with you. i feel satisfied after getting this all out that i can decide to respond or not once i'm done because i've already gotten my thoughts out without being interrupted. you don't watch me type or see my edits, you only see the final product and that puts me at ease a bit. when i speak out loud, i typically say everything i'm thinking or not enough. often i say the wrong thing and people are quick to jump in and ask for clarification or even correct me. i'm not finished. many ppl aren't patient anymore and it's frustrating when my brain doesn't function the way most peoples brains do.

i think of something, then i think "why the hell did that pop into my head? what on earth is this related to?" trick question--its never related to anything most times. my brain just picks up on slight things in my environment and misconstrues them as something relevant to some memory and brings one up, or comes up with something new. i'd assume most people think like that. i just don't know how to explain that to ppl in conversation when were talking about one thing, or we're not talking at all and i just bring something up. that's when it makes sense to me. typically i think of everything at once so it's all relevant to me.

i like this shark. going in circles endlessly in one small space. he knows he can't go anywhere, but maybe he likes it. it's safe, reliable, and cushiony. i put the shark here for our entertainment, but i wont release him (cuz i will forget) but he shall remain happy or maybe he's hitting his head against the walls, thinking "when will she stop yapping" idk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

im sweating like a madwoman. make it stoppppp. i was trying to experiment by not wearing deodorant/antiperspirant to see if it was all in my head and it is not. it's quite real and i hate it. i hate sweating so much. i don't sweat in my hands or back. just my armpits and private bits (it's really just my thighs lol). i wanna lose weight tbh. i hate my thighs rubbing together, it hurts when i'm wearing shorts and they just slide up and chafe. ugh i get so uncomfortable thinking about it. also my body just gets hot. it's just so annoying. i feel like this hyperhydrosis condition really spiked when i entered college. that's when i really noticed it first a least. my mom has it and i've been trying all different deodorants and antiperspirants with her, but i still sweat regardless. i think she said some work for her for a bit, but then don't again. i think lumē worked for her but just smells weird. who knows. maybe i'll try mens deodorant or antiperspirant. i don't want to throw out my current one cuz yk, money, but it ain't working...

idkkkkk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

in the time i've written this, the charger still isn't working and even when i hold down the power button there's no response from my conputer to even tell me it's dead. i'm concerned but still couldn't care less. its not fanning bc i let it stop before it turned off. i think it just died and this charger isn't working. i sure hope it works when i get home tho. fuck this shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this body positivity movement related to hair on women is progressing more i think. i haven't researched it or anything, but i notice more ppl than i did before who seem female presenting or have feminine features to have body hair and i love to see it. it's still very scarce, but this is only one place in the world. ofc my hometown there's like no one and my mother makes fun of me all the damn time, so i never forget it. i just wish it didn't look so bad. like i don't care about it cosmetically in the sense that women shouldn't have it cuz it looks bad or cuz its not feminine, but i just don't think it ever matches my outfits. it pisses me off kinda. i don't feel like i give off hairy vibes. maybe i do. those aren't the vibes i wanna put out there. but see in that mindset, i'm stereotyping myself and still have the same schema. "what they're wearing is weird that doesn't match what i assume their style is!" type shit. i don't enjoy this mindset and it comes along with other stereotypical, generalizing mindsets i still have from growing up and am still trying to eradicate, but dang its hard.

i also study peoples behavior and people watch to learn and copy whats socially acceptable. so believe me when i say, it's fucking hard having hairy legs when it's still not common everywhere i go. it's kind of a fucking nightmare sometimes. and i know i sound like "oh, woe is me!" and sometimes i do feel like that, but its because i don't see enough representation--thats another reason why i do it. my real reason is that i don't care to keep up with shaving and i don't want to do it bc i feel like i have to. i don't feel like i want to, so i just don't. if one day i wake up and feel like shaving, then damnit i will. but i don't need anyone's approval or advice on it. i'm angry bc of what my mother says to me, so this is mainly directed towards the comments she's made, and my father, hell, both of em. i'm not taking this outta thin air. there are ppl attacking me, it's my family...

that's the funny thing. i haven't gotten any backlash from a single other person. funny... if they keep it to themselves, wonderful! i honestly don't care what they think, but do care that they are being considerate.

anyshways, thats why i don't love socks that pull on the hair and why i feel awkward in tank tops and short shirts cuz i still haven't gotten over the socially different part yet. this is revolutionizing for me even if it isn't for anyone else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

if you actually read everything so far, you're cool, but if you're at the end and readin this, you're still cool but u just don't know what i said. i'll sum it up for you-

tdlr (i hate myself):

- computer bout to shit itself

- i have social anxiety and am a clinical yapper

- computer still boutta die

- ahh scary! hair on woman!!

youre here now.

yipee!!

i'll try to post Tuesdays through Thursdays i have decided. try to check then if u can....

love yall,

kD :p

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

What You Need

A/N: too many au fantasy fics where Jordan is the fine ass neighborhood weedman consume me lately. Someone help! 😭 Also, I hope its clear when I refer to J as they or he and she. They when I or a character is vaguely talking about them in general; he or she to help differentiate between their ability to transition or whoever your being intimate with at the time. I hope that makes sense. Just wanted to put my own flavor on my stories but still respect the proper pronouns. I'd love feedback on my Jordan li fics. And please remember, these fics can take a long time to write so pretty please don't flag them as your content consumption is your responsibility. Anyway enjoy!

I step out my brand new stark white BMW, rolling my narrowed eyes as I scan the immediate vicinity. Not payin no mind to the group of dudes starin my way a few cars down, I realize Jordans ass aint nowhere to be found. Too many times over the years of em bein my connect, this mf done made me walk up them damn rickety stairs to grab my sack when they lyin ass specifically promised to be in the lot.

I'm already inna rush to get to my date with Dre. That's why was tryna get a little relaxation; I really didn't wanna show up all tense and hit him with all this attitude at once. A little me time to calm my nerves would do my ass some good after this nightmarish day. And maybe if the date goes well enough, Andre could gimme a hand with that too. Though its impossible to deny if the plug wasn't such a fuck boy, I'd be tryin to give them this work instead. But in no way am I finna compete with any of the hoes on their team.

Bending to reach into my ride, I snatch my cell from the cup holder and slam my car door. My nails click clack across the screen as I text Jordan. I'm already teetering on the edge of insanity so I'm not in the mood to be late or deal with their cocky ass attitude. This was so not supposed to be one of my usual pick ups that lasted over half an hour cause of their antics.

Me: you told me you'd be in the lot when I pulled up.

Not more than 10 seconds go by before I get a response.

This Fuckin Guy: my bad cutie, jus cum up here.

Me: i already let you know I had plans and to be down here this time.

This Fuckin Guy: ik but I had to serve last min. damn.

I roll my eyes as I read the word 'serve'. Yeah, they probably up there servin some lil bitch on her back. For some reason that thought got me on 10.

Me: cus you always wastin my time boy. but fine, i'm comin up.

Me: and my shit better be ready too.

This Fuckin Guy: whatchu need again?

This Fuckin Guy: nvm, Daddy knows exactly what you need..

This Fuckin Guy:

Nibbling my bottom lip softly, I stare at the pic of they fine ass way longer than I'd ever admit to em. Fuck, they just don't realize how many times I've woken up from random scenes of them starin at me like that before diggin me out. Panties and sheets be so fuckin drenched with my juices when I slid my fingers between my lower lips and replayed em back in my mind over and over.

It's so fuckin Jordan to be on standby waitin for some snarky ass remark back, I'm sure of it. But I dont give them the satisfaction, continuing to climb the stairs carefully in my dainty heels.

And I'm absolutely proud of the way I ignore the pounding and slick building between my thighs as I head up the last step and briskly walk to Jordan's apt. Damn I feel a bit pathetic from gettin so horny from a photo that wasn't even a shirtless, nude or dick pic.

I don't even get a chance to knock on the door as an attractive slim blonde with a messy bun and black skin tight leggings opens it. Her expression a bit shocked at first as we briefly stare at each other before she gives me a small smile and quickly walks towards the staircase. Of fuckin course they have some damn bimbo on her way out as I'm coming up. Typical fuckin Jordan. Can't even deny the girl was kinda bad though; that lil fact gone get Jordan popped fa sho.

"Really? Tryna fuck me right after you jus slid in sumn? Nasty ass.." I throw insults at them as soon as I step inside, slamming the door in hopes the lil hoe hears.

"Fuck you on about now?" Jordan's voice is bored from her spot on the couch as she rolls up, not even bothering to look my way.

"I'm speakin on the fact that you tryna hit right now but you got some broad leavin as I'm comin up. Like, the fuck?"

These hands rated E for everyone and they know that. I put a hand on my curvy hip and stare em down. Smoke is finna start steamin out my ears at Jordan's nonchalant behavior. Walkin up to the couch I flop down on the opposite side, full lips pressed into a thin line. Unfortunately my gaze melts more into eye fucking than the daggers I was jus hittin em with as I notice how attractive they are, so damn focused rollin the perfect blunt.

"I ain't fuck her." Tone of voice resembling one to use with a child; clearly she think I'm playin.

I follow the line the tip of her tongue makes as she finishes rolling the blunt. Damn, how I need to feel them doing that allover my fuckin body. I pray Jo ain't got super senses too, like I would just die inside if she could actually smell how wet I was for them right now.

"That right? Then why shawty hair was messy? And why you lookin relaxed as fuck, like you just took a load off? Talkin bout literally.."

"Ion know.. Why you ain't ask her? Told you, I had a order. And maybe I'm calm cause I'm always chill. You needa relax too, princess. Let's smoke."

Always tryna smoke ass; not sure how there's ever any left for them to sell. I roll my eyes at her slick ass, leaning back and folding my arms. Jordan finally looks up at me, dark brown eyes trailin down my frame slowly as she openly ogles my fit.

"Spark it then. But I can't stay long. I told you: I got plans tonight."

"Yeah, you said that. But you ain't say what you got planned the night."

"Cause that's nun ya concern-" my mouth is quick to slam shut at the penetrating stare I get before I can finish my thought.

I've seen that look before; would kill for a view of it while Jordan digs me out actually. (I almost whimper out loud as I envision just that. ) My attitude is immediately extinguished as she checks me without a sayin a fuckin word. She holds my gaze for a few seconds before casting her gaze back down, givin the blunt one last light lick. Clearly amused and feelin triumphant with how I'm put in my place, she openly grins. The silence only lasts half a minute be I speak again.

"Gotta date tonight." I say quietly, absolutely hating myself for how weak my voice comes out.

I expect another death stare but only receive a frown and flared nostrils as Jordan continues to look down. And then more silence. So I speak up again.

"You mad?" Tone a bit stronger this time.

That gets me someneye contact.

"The fuck you think?"

"Well, you shouldn't be since you just-"

"Why you so worried if I'm fuckin when you clearly tryna get ran through tonight?"

The question is like a whip across the face. My cheeks heat as shame flushes through me. My mouth open and closes a few times, struggling to respond. Jordan waits for my response with a confident smirk, transitioning before pulling in a big hit.

"I'm not- I.. That's not why-"

I'm interrupted as he leans over to my side of the couch, grabbing my neck and pulling me in. Sexy ass taking advantage of my lips parting in shock at his grip to blow smoke into my mouth. I take it in without a thought, immediately becoming pliant for him as I inhale. It feels so fucking intimate I want more in an instant.

"Who's the date with?" His fine ass asks me softly, hand still lightly grasping my throat. His thumb rubs my skin there lightly as he takes this moment to assess my fit again.

"Andre." I answer on an exhale, mesmerized by the way he licks at his pretty pink bottom lip.

That makes him pop his gaze back to me, his hold a bit firmer as he reconnects with my y/e/c eyes.

"You not fuckin goin, ma. We clear."

"We're clear."

My response is instantaneous and I have no idea who've I've become in this moment. What I am painfully aware is that he's gettin hard, silver basketball shorts doin nothing to hide his yummy fuckin girth.

Clearly my pussy is way more interested in gettin piped by Jordan than Dre; our close proximity has my desperate empty cunt clenching nonstop. I feel like I'll combust if they don't touch me soon.

"What a good fuckin girl you can be. Who knew?"

The praise has the softest of sounds bubbling from my lips as he takes a longer drag, leanin forward to give me another hit. Since this one's bigger, it has my mind a bit hazy as I exhale. I close my eyes, arms droppin to my lap as I enjoy the high and his big palms wrapped around my neck. A shiver of arousal runs through my frame as he moves to whisper at my ear.

"You like when I tell you how good you are for me? Cause you are honey." I moan an affirming 'mm hm' as Jordan licks and kisses at the sensitive spot behind my lobe. "In fact, can fuck my good girl like she need. Is that what you want? Huh? Itchin for Daddy to slide in them guts? I can.. And I will princess. Gonna get that lil pussy creamin round my cock in no time."

I should be shamed in how my head nods rapidly without my permission, mouth opening to say yes but moaning like a whore instead. I'm completely in shambles, loving the way my welcoming high enhances my craving for his cock.

"Lay back then. Show me how pretty that pussy is." He demands, releasing me and gesturing to the carpet with one hand as he takes a hit and sets the blunt down in the ashtray with the other.

Normally I would at least try to be sensual, make a show of it but I'm too tense right now. I don't even bother to undress as I lay on my back as quick as I can manage, swiftly slippin of my heels and throwing them aside. I'm so thankful for the access the deep slits my fit provides. I only need to spread my thighs and pull my salmon colored thong to the side.

"Damn that lil kitty.. So beautiful, look how she flutters at me baby. Think she want Daddy to come play in it."

Those dirty words make me hungry; fuckin pulsating at how he talks to me. I watch lustfully at the way Jordan stands and strips to his snug black boxer briefs. He smiles at me like he knows something I don't. Get goosebumps from how he stares down at me like he wants to wreck me.

I'm salivating when he pulls his long cock out through the opening and starts shows off. He strokes from tip to the base slowly, starin between my legs like hes inna trance. Dark brown eyes intently focused on the way wetness starts to stream from my slit to my juicy brown ass. I'm so jealous of the way he milks drops of precum on every upward stroke, consistent little grunts of pleasure spilling from him; I want that pleasure.

"Come on Daddy, I'm so ready for it." I goad him.

"Mmm. Fuckin lil slut for me know that?" He groans as he gets on his knees between my legs.

"Yeeees, I knooow." I moan out to his fine ass. "Wish you'd do somethin bout it already."

Grippin the base of his dick, he swipes back and forth through the excess moisture leakin from my slit while grabbing the blunt to take another hit.

"Aight, bet. Legs: shoulders."

I stall for just a moment at his simple request before obeying, setting an ankle at each of his shoulders slowly. My tummy clenches at the thought of the deep fuck I'm about to receive.

Jordan grunts lowly, slidin through once more before slappin my clit thrice with his twitching length. My wails are fuckin thunderous, dramatic ass fuck as an intense sensation swirls in my pulsing cunt. Too damn sensitive, soggy little button throbbing ferociously, I miss the descent of his cock to my drenched hole as the sensations flow throughout my overwhelmed frame.

"Damn you so noisy, baby. Ooooh fuck, Daddy gone enjoy this shit."

He moves forward, tip of his dick pushing at my opening as I groan in absolute peril at his thickness. Gripping and yanking at the plush carpet, breath punching out as his mean ass pulls back and thrusts into me sharply. The deep rumbling moan in his chest has a warmth lickin up my spine as my lil puss struggles to strangle the first few inches of his fat cock.

"Waitwaitwait. Pleeease Jo, please! Sobig, too much. Juswait, juswait.." I whine, releasing the carpet to slap and push at his toned chest and abs.

"No." Jordan snaps, snatching my wrists together and bringing the blunt back to his lips with his free hand.

"Do what you need to take this dick cept that. Do that shit again and it's up." He says, thick smoke billowing from his nose as he gazes at me ferally.

His pace to start is fuckin lethal. I'm already cock drunk when he pulls out and stabs in half way repeatedly, hastily dropping the blunt back in the ashtray. My toes curl at the feeling of him fucking me so roughly. Each thrust gives way for the next, helps make me even slicker so he can slide in further. It's happening too quick, he's digging me out faster than I can breathe. My freshly waxed eyebrows pull together as I yank at his grip on my wrists.

"Oooh shit, that feels sooo good. Yeeees, y/n. Can't believe I'm in these guts. Mmmmfuck, don't fight it. You wanted this shit, right?" He asks, serving me powerful precise jabs.

I realize now that my lids are shut tight, eyes rolled back; my mouth open wide as I sob at the intense fucking I'm receiving. For the sake of satisfying him I offer two jerky nods to his question, pussy walls fluctuating sporadically around his prick.

"Not even in all th-the way. Gone let me all the way inside ma?"

I wish I could've stopped the involuntary 'nooooo' that I moan but at this point my brain is becoming mush. It should be illegal for how fast Jordans reduced me to an incoherent mess.

"Ahhhhh y/n, thas not nice. Why you so mean to me all the time?"

Jordan's teasing damn near falls on deaf ears as he takes my right ankle and adds it with the other. Freeing my wrists he places a thumb on my clit and rubs quickly, holding both legs over his left shoulder. My hands quickly find their place back into the carpet, yanking handfuls as he sadistically unravels me with pure amusement on his face.

It's a surprise I don't deafen us both with the shrieks being forced from me. His frenzied pace increases as he spears me over and over, staring intently at the way I take his cock. My orgasm is so dangerously fuckin close to the surface and I hope he's ready.

"Oooh my go- shit! Ain't neva had a pussy so tight, so fuckin weeeet round my shit. Gone let me keep her all to myself? Huh ma?"

"Yesyesyesyes!"

My crazed chants is the best I can do at this moment as he molds the shape of his dick to my walls. Overwhelmed and overstimulated would be an understatement; finna have me gushin his dick in under 5 and that's a fuckin record for me.

"Good giirrrl, pretty. Ah, ah, this- aahhh God.. This my pussy now y/n. You mine now. Got it?"

Fuck me all these questions don't help my scrambled mind. This a fuckin quiz or something? My response is a garbled jumbled mess of high pitched keens.

"I said do you fuckin understand?" He growls out with one brow raised, passionately drilling my pussy faster.

"YesJo, yeeees! 'M sorry, 'm sorry. SosorryDaddy- please!" I keen in hopes of some type of mercy.

But I get none. Tears track done my cheeks like a heavy rain on a stormy night from being subjugated to this all-consuming pleasure.

"Awww, you look so cute when you cry on my dick baby. Thas it, take it just like that for me. Uhhhfuck, gonna give my perfect princess a big ass nut. Know you want it too y/n; gonna make you leak wit it."

Thanks to his persistence he actually slides into the hilt. I wonder if he can see his long fat cock in my tummy. He's so fuckin big that I wouldn't be surprised. A chuckle reaches my ears as I feel the dam about to burst.

"Mmmm.. Naw ma, wish I could see my fuckin dick in ya tummy-"

Christ, I didn't even know I was voicing my fried ass thoughts. Such a fuckin shame it's at that moment I come and unfortunately miss the rest of his sentence. My cunt compresses the dick that's hell bent on unraveling me from the inside out. The pleasure spikes and my back arches as I fight to accept it. I shake like a leaf as he fucks me fiercely, fingers speeding on my beating little button. A clear stream splatters against his lower body as he praises my efforts.

"Did so good for meeeee, ah ah ah fuck! Mmm, hell yeah y/n! Pleeease gimme my reward! Earned it didn't I? Need it so bad, so fuckin bad! Cuuum baby! Good girl, good girl! GOOD. FUCKIN GIRL!"

I give him two more squirts as he punctuates his words with searingly deep stabs before a heavy warmth blooms in my achy abused little puss. Fuck me, the sensation of Jordan filling my cunt like he owns me is addicting; so damn soothing to the battering I just received. Almost feels like a soothing balm applied to a sore limb. And God damn if he ain't so damn loud as he comes to his end, complementing my poor over used lil puss over and over.

He ceases rubbing my clit to grip both of my legs in a bear hug and creampie me till his nut begins to leak out generously from around his dick. Daddy leaves kisses up and down my calves and legs as he roars out the last of his pleasure. Wish I could snap a pic of the way he tosses his head back before dropping it forward, puffing out heavy grunts of my name; his hips giving stuttering circles as he drains the last bit of his cream into me.

Finally, I'm able to gulp in some air as he hips halt their sweet torture, both of us huffing like we just finished a marathon. Jordan sits back on his haunches, palms sliding down to pull my ass into his lap with both hands. He stays just like that, big dick slowly beginning to soften within me. Daddy looks so fuckin handsome: so damn flushed and sweaty, long damp strands of hair fall into his face; pretty eyes low from smoking and all the work he just put in as he gazes at me with a endearing expression. I press a shaky hand to his chest, feeling his heart race just as fast as mine.

"Get what you need, ma?" He asks, smile dazzling the fuck outta me.

"Yes Daddy."

[rigatoniiiiiiii]

I posted this before but tumblr was being weird so I had to delete and then repost ^^’

So im curious about what R, Y, B, and G could have seen in the black hole during episode 30.

what do we know about the void?

- we know it’s mostly empty, except for the individual and a place/symbol of emotional importance to the person.

A good example of this is mango’s void, where it’s only him and an empty house, a place where mango spent most of his time planning vengeace and festering in rage and grief.

- usually the subject of the void has to deal with some sort of regret or inner struggle. For mango, it was his empty lonely house, with only himself and the angry violent pictures scribbled on the wall.

For purple, it was a completely dark and empty space, with the only light highlighting them and the petals falling around them. A reminder that they are completely alone, no father around and a dead mother.

- each of these voids/spaces are likely places where their deepest and most hurtful thoughts manifest their surroundings. And it’s hard to break through to these spaces, but it can be done, as mango demonstrated.

So, given what we know, what would RGBY’s voids be like? They were also in the void for a brief period of time before second was able to save the day, so what would they have seen?

Of course it’s all hypothetical, but I think it presents an interesting way to try and visualize and analyze each of the CG’s flaws and insecurities, and how they might find hope in response to that.

Reblog/share your theories!! I think this is very interesting. I’ll put my personal ideas under the cut, but go wild :)

Red: I think Red’s void would be about their character flaw of rushing into situations without thinking/letting others know about mews plan, and how their friende get hurt as a result of that. It could also be about how Red’s feelings have been continually dismissed by the CG (but specifically Second) and how Red feels because of that.

Blue: xer space would involve guilt over indirectly causing harm to his friends. Between the many accidents with potions, the nether incedents, the witch event, and starting off the S3 arc, he probably feels like xes done a lot of damage. Maybe he is afraid that they will get hurt/reject xem because of this.

Yellow: in past episodes, yellow’s power in situations has come from knowledge. For example, theres the entire arcade game episode, the lucky block episode, redstone, learning to fight with a command block. Yellow always wants to learn more, and the result of that curiosity and intelligence is the ability to help/give to yellows friends. So it would stand to reason that yellow would be very insecure and helpless in a situation where yellow couldn’t learn anything. There is no knowledge to be gained, no secret code or strategy to find a way out. But yellow can see the CG being hurt, and yet yellow is powerless and can’t help them. I imagine yellow would feel absolutely helpless.

Green: im.. honestly not too sure about green? It feels like there’s a lot to work with, and not enough to work with. I dont feel i have a good enough grasp on his character/insecurities. Some possible ideas i had were the amount of times green has died, or greens flaw of being a bit too show-offy. Green is definetly one I would like to hear everyone’s thoughts about!

And i know second didn’t get voided, so its even more hypothetical, but i think if second DID fall into the black hole, their space would either be about their powers (which would be confusing and distressing for him), about all their friends dying again like in the showdown and second being powerless to stop it, or maybe even himself being the reason its friends are hurt. However I also think second would be the first to break out of its void, and the first to get to their friends and bring them together, and tell them how much he cares for them, no matter what the void showed.

Anyways yeah thank you for reading!! Just some thoughts I had :) im curious to hear everyone’s theories!

Tagging @lunafandoms !

[imustbenuts]

How do you handle how low key racist toward Japan a lot of fandom is in favor of shoving only American cultural viewpoints into things? I'm so tired...

hm.... a loaded question. short answer for how i handle this:

I don't.

i just. don't. i don't even try to process what i know for sure is a bad take at all, and i make it a point to curate my online spaces as much as possible.

(or at least, i do on very very rare occasions if i feel arsed enough to hop on my keyboard to smashing out a more educated post about it based on my own understanding. more on this in a bit.)

if i go into a fandom tag and i see rampant nonsense, such as during the 1st two months of fire emblem engage's release or some incredible pumpkin spice latte takes, and i feel like it's just too much bc im getting angry, i just disengage. i might read if i feel like it, but if its too hostile i don't add to the conversation. i leave. i don't pass go bc i have waaaay better things to do than potentially engage in a conversation im already not happy to have.

in some occasions i even block. if i feel like someone is being a dipshit in the posts i make with their tags even, i block.

and i suspect im not the only one. how often do you see asians who reside outside of the west actively partake in fandom discussions? its such a drain of energy when it goes bad. most asians are working faaaaar longer hours than the average westerner in the average office setting. i mean, fuck, man. if i want to have fun, im not coming to a place i know i wont be having much. (ofc we are all having it bad. the point is: limited energy is a big factor for why going against the general set consensus is a bad idea)

i've been dealing with this for the past 10 years. minimum. it has always been like this. it has ever always been like this everywhere.

soooome fandoms are chiller than others for sure. but i dont actively participate in fandoms bc: im tired and my attention hops all over the place.

im ALSO gonna drag proship antis DNI into this ramble bc i believe strongly this culture is an evolution of the old 'your fave is problematic' culture mixed with puritanism culture and i hate it. i hate it bc it gets applied to everywhere, even in a japanese/asian culture space where people in fandoms are generally more "you stay in your lane i stay in mine, we're all freaks, just dont break any laws or be terrible". understand that east asian society in general is collective compared to western's more individualistic one, which reinforces that lane thinking. so all these high moral showing-off is just a big pissing contest to me.

in fact its such a pissing contest i actively refuse to follow people who have DNIs in their profiles. id have more respect for those who can say 'i dont like xyz, its not my cup of tea'. its a normal response, i think.

and im done ranting about my personal feelings :v. some practical advice from my dumb of ass:

a person knows what they know

a person doesnt know what they dont know (ignorance)

a person cannot be taught what they dont want to know (willful ignorance)

a willfully ignorant person is not anyone's job to directly fix. only they can check themselves.

hostility begets more hostility. anger is an addictive emotion. block and move on if someone is consistently being annoying/a pos online, its not worth the mental bandwidth

a person wants to know what they know they don't know (curiosity)

if theres something educational worth sharing that can be communicated in a digestible way, it is sometimes worth it. people like reading, but more importantly, communicating. be that with the OP or their own group.

and also, im not immune to any of the behaviors i dont like above myself. there are also limits in what i know. :v hypocritical of me lmao

[a-sad-machine]

The truth (part three)

uhhhhh, hey there! I’m alive? :D

I also thinkI might change the style with making a part per region, since characters are getting added to regions retroactively and i dont wanna go and edit every region. mayhaps I’ll just do it in version installments from now on? like, with the newest characters or smth

Anyways, enjoy!

Sumeru

once again, starting with the characters who would know who you really are: Alhaitham, Aranara, Nahida, Wanderer

Of course as the archon of knowledge, Nahida would instantly know who you are! She would definitely be the one to catch on the fastest and luckily for you, since she has experience with being confined in a place for too long, she won’t tell on you! Though she’ll try to not leave you alone in these dangerous lands, either accompanying you herself or checking in through others’ minds.

Through his brief time as almost god, Wanderer will recognise that something is off with you, in a probably-is-a-god-style, almost right away. If you slip up and mention anything from his past he’ll be even more suspicious, after all those memories should be long gone, right?

Alhaitham knows. I am not sure how, he just does. He is just built different ig. But jokes aside, he is very observant and smart enough to connect the dots. Might try to ignore you, since he doesn’t want to deal with the situation, as well as his newly acquired duty as ‘acting’ grand sage

the ones that are suspicious of who your are: Cyno, Dehya, Tighnari

Both Cyno and Tighnari will both share their suspicions, but they have duties that usually don’t involve you too much. Cyno needs to hunt criminals (which you aren’t) and Tighnari is bound to his forest. Unless you’re unlucky enough to encounter criminals or eat the wrong mushroom, there is very little chance for them to find any incriminating evidence.

Dehya is a seasoned bodyguard, where she has a lot of practice reading people and her surroundings. She’ll get weird vibes from you, as if you’re constantly hiding something, but won’t push too much if she doesn’t see you as a threat.

those who are too naive to question the identity of the creator: Collei, Dunyarzad, Faruzan, Nilou

Collei, Dunyarzad and Nilou all are too optimistic to think they have been lied to about the creators identity. All three have also been through quite a lot, Collei and Dunyarzad with their Eleazar affliction, and Nilou with her struggle against the academia. They’re still very kind though, so they might be fun to be around without having to worry about revealing clues to who you are. 

lastly, the ones who don’t care, or don’t seem religious: Candace, Dori, Jeht, Layla

Both Candace and Jeht are children of the desert, which can be a hard place to live in. While they don’t not believe in the creator, they have a lot of responsibilities to take care of, leaving little time to worship a god who has not helped them with their struggles of survival. They’re more likely to judge you for traveling the dangerous sands, especially if you are alone and not a seasoned traveler yet.

Dori might notice something off about you, but as long as you’ve got enough mora to buy goods from her store, she couldn’t care less about your identity. She’s also part of the blackmarket, where customers hiding their identity isn’t uncommon.

Layla is too tired to care most of the time. Unless you meet her nighttime persona the chances of even talking to her for long are decently low. She’s more worried about her studies and deadlines rather than a random traveler. Though you have to take care to not be too obvious when you have her attention, she is pretty smart after all.

(And another part done! I thought Dunyarzard and Jeht deserve to be here, since you spend so much time with em! and I know, I didn’t include Kaveh, but I haven’t done the recent event quest yet so idk what he’s like qwq )

(Next time will probably be mixed nationalities, including Kaveh, Mika, Baizhu, Yaoyao and maybe even Kirara! I’ll have to wait till enough characters are released for a while part tho)

[veren-cos]

Just Let Me In

Astarion (Bg3) x reader

TW: Contains mentions of self-harm. Do not read this if you are not in an okay mental state. If this is something you struggle with, I strongly recommend you reach out to someone.

"I just need you to let me in." He held on to your hands, tightly grasping you. It's as though he thought if he let you go, you'd disappear. "I see you. I see you're hurting. I see you're hurting yourself!" He makes a gesture to you and your new scrapes and cuts. "But I need you to talk to me! I can't help you if you don't let me!"

You looked away. It had been so long since you had hurt yourself. So long. You were doing so well. And then it hit. You had tried to hide it, but Astarion knew every part of you. He knew something had changed.

Tears began picking at your eyes. You turned back and just stared at him. Every time you tried to speak, nothing came out.

And then tears spilled.

"My love, my darling. It's okay. I'm not.. Upset." He made a face. "Okay I'm upset. But I'm not angry. I could never be angry at you. I'm upset because you didn't talk to me. Because you felt like you couldn't, given your stammering."

He pulled you into a loose hug, and then led you to a chair. Once he had you sitting, he got a cup of water, and set it on the desk next to you. He crouched in front of you, and reclaimed his hold on your hands.

"Take a deep breath." He didn't need to breath, but he made a bit of a show to get you to follow his lead. "There you go, Darling. You're okay. Drink some water once you catch your breath."

It takes a while, but you finally stabled. Your breath was at a normal pace, and you weren't actively sobbing.

"Good. You are doing so well. Now." He made sure you were looking in his eyes. "Talk to me."

And you felt like crying. Again. Gods is this what you were going to do all night?

"I'm sorry."

"No." He sighed, "No, don't be sorry. You didn't do this because you're sorry. You're sorry because you've hurt yourself. What is the cause?"

Another brief pause to calm your eyes. He held your hands as you began to speak.

"I don't know what to do with myself. Any reason that I could possibly give doesn't seem good enough. I know I shouldn't be like this. I know I shouldn't do this. But it felt like I needed to...'

You continued, "Astarion.. Astarion, it had been so long, you have to believe me! I was doing so well! I have been trying so hard. I dont know why I'm like this, and I don't know how to fix it. I'm sorry."

He pulled you into another hug, and leaned against you to keep his balance on the floor. "Shhh shhh..." He rubbed small circles on your back. "It's okay. You can do this. I'm right here. Keep going. It's okay."

You took a deep breath. "I don't like myself. I'm not good enough. I know you will just say that I am, but I could be doing so much more. All I want is to get this damned parasite out of my head. All I want is to be okay. Okay, and with you. But I don't know how to deal with this. It's too much. The only way I know how is with. Well. I mean you saw it. I don't think I can say it out loud. Not yet."

You had managed to get through your whole speech without crying. You clearly said every word, even through the shaky breaths.

"Well then let's start from there. I am so proud of you, darling. You have done so much. You have helped me - and our rag-tag bunch of idiots out there - more times than I can count, and more than you'll ever know. You are doing so well, and yes you took a step back. But that is okay. You will take two steps forward. And I will be right here."

Astarion pulled back from the hug to look you in your eyes. Even after crying, he still thought you were the most beautiful person in faerun. He made a note to tell you that later.

"I love you. And it will be okay. You will be okay. Now let's just take a moment to get you all fixed up. I can steal a potion of lesser healing from shadowheart maybe?"

You nodded in response, but with a look that said 'but no stealing' which he promptly ignored.

Once he came back, he had you drink it and then laid down. He gestured for you to lay beside him. But you settled on his chest, wrapping your leg over his waist.

"Thank you." You all but whispered.

"There is nothing to thank. Now sleep, my love."

You felt a bit better from the potion. It had sealed up the new cuts. Made it as if they were never there. But you knew. You knew that it would feel like it never went away. You still felt as though the wound in your mind was wide open.

But it would be okay. You had Astarion with you. He sat next to you as you went to sleep, your hand in one of his, and a book in the other. He quietly read out loud, enough for you to follow along but low enough as to not disturb you if you fell asleep. He cared for you. He cared for you so much you didn't know what to do with yourself.

So yes, it would be okay. He made it okay.

You had finally let him in.

Authors Note: Once again, if you are struggling with self harm or suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help. There are multiple help lines and resources depending on your region which are easy to find on Google. Talk to your friends. I promise things get better.

Ps. If there is a way I can more clearly label the trigger warning lmk, I wasn't entirely sure how to phrase it, but it serves its purpose.

[sumbreon]

more book thoughts

the shops back up you can now buy these books

ive not read anymore yet, using it to bribe myself into doing laundry but ive been stewing on things. this will be even less coherent cause im just gonna throw my thoughts out here as they come to me unlike before where we had a mild focus

what is machas plan here? turning up as félix to fuck with islin about cypress like what was the intent there because i doubt it had the intended effect with islin going 'it should be me courting you félix!' which also islin my man... ya coulda!!! oh no i just remembered hesper signed the fuckin courting card or whatever with a little paw print really good! the whole thing with cypress is really good too honestly. the pacing for after félix gives bowman (françois) the ultimatum was so good it felt like so long not being in félixs pov and seeing it from bowmans i was absolutely losing it like let me into that little bastards head again what the fuck is going on??? to then finally get his pov again and just... i dont think that could have been done any better it fuckin killed me. anyway macha clearly still wanting to fuck with félixs boys but tamer than in the first book but what for? im also both dreading and looking forward to whenever they and félix meet like its your bosses new little guy vs its the fucker who tried to kill your friends (maybe? dont know for sure that macha intended for anyone to die but they definitely could have/almost did!) so fucking with islin by being félix and fucking with bowman by attacking rangers as a viper tbh even less clear on how that ones meant to a work out whats gained from turning the rangers against the viper? whats esks relationship with the rangers? cain made a comment to bowman after the whole graveyard incident and what did you mean by that man? whats your damn deal macha?

also every bowman chapter is accompanied by the mild apprehension of 'there was a warning for intentional misgendering its probably gonna be against bowman' who the fucks gonna do that to my boy? and i love that esks general response to bowman having to avoid saying hes the supposedly dead mercier girl is why is this even an issue. esk continues to not be helpful! but i am delighted by bowman and esk throughout this book so far me everytime its bowman time:

to be clear im having a good time, bowman less so. still makes me laugh that esk referred to félix as 'the pony'. and i loved that little scene on the train with félix and esk about félixs body and i think esk was maybe already aware? when the supposed viper attacked the rangers esk says a powerful black horse could maybe do that and says félix couldnt do that being so young a black horse? wonder just how much of esk not being helpful is being a bit of an ass and if any of its lingering effects from being stuck in that trophy room? god that was a horrifying scene and from what we see of tua it affected the weapons badly, esk wasnt there as long but it was still there

senca... girl whats your angle here? what sort of game is this to you? what are you getting out of it? i believe her when she tells esk that shes on the boys's side but im still not 100% trusting her

just how many times has léa threatened to cut bowmans dick off? enough that félix didnt let her finish the suggestion. and i keep thinking about léa telling félix about bowman not counting it as cheating with félix specifically like could you boys make this any more complicated? how the hell is félix meant to deal with that info? also made me think of that post where a girl had been having gay sex with her friend for like a decade and was like sex with her doesnt count and it ended with her saying to her boyfriend if it was cheating shes cheating on her friend with him then and not the other way around (i might try and find that post again. ill probably fail)

okay laundry done i might come back and add more or i might not

[vasito-de-leche]

Ngl I adore the way you write Dj subatomic

Would you be down to do hcs of him as a dad?

;NSR DJSS - Parent Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons and analysis about DJ Subatomic Supernova as a father and dealing with parenthood.

glad you like it! I'm still working veeeeery slowly on the other love languages posts, but I lost steam halfway thru, so I'm procrastinating those by answering this one lolol

i'll leave the details as to how he becomes a father up to y'all, since i dont rlly care abt those specifics - adoption, biological kids, etc, up to yall!

DJSS never really considered starting a family nor having children.

As someone who priotizes his work first and foremost, having a family - let alone children who require attention 24/7 - just isn't a possibility in his book, DJSS considers it a setback rather than an ideal lifestyle. So fatherhood is something that's thrown at him and catches him by surprise, if that makes sense. I can only see him accepting such responsibility if it's the only option available, if there's absolutely no one and nowhere else the child can go to.

Once again, he's an outlier when compared to the other Megastars. They have themes of unity, bonding with others and different types of families, not just the nuclear family example: the Sayu Gang have each other, Yinu's parents are a huge an important part of her life, 1010 act as a unit and, whether you see Neon J as their parental figure or not, he's still responsible for them in a way. Eve connects with like-minded artists and her fans, Tatiana connects with the megastars, Vinyl City as a whole and Eve herself. Even DK West is here by virtue of being Zuke's brother. DJSS is just there, all alone.

I like to think that the time he spent working as a teacher had a big impact on him, growing disillusioned overtime with not only his passions but the concept of community - the current DJSS doesn't really see a point in nurturing any sort of relationship that isn't transactional nor profitable.

Some characters worry about being good parents and influences, some worry about their economic situations not being enough to support a child, and so on and so forth. DJSS simply doesn't care about any of that, he's got a stable life and is confident in his skills (at the very least, confident in his ability to learn how to care for a child pretty quickly). He just... never considered the idea of being a father.

Whether the kid is a boy or a girl or anything else, he doesn't care. He has no preference. The only opinion he has relates to the amount of kids he'll allow - which is one. The less kids running around, the better.

Treats parenthood like a job, basically. DJSS appears to be a neglectful parent on the outside, but is very attentive to his kid's needs.

There is always a sense of distance and a layer of feigned indifference when it comes to his very scarce relationships, this is no different.

During the first years, DJSS makes a point to treat his role as a father like a job - it's how he tackles things, seeing them as tasks to solve. His approach can be easily read as him being uninterested, maybe even neglectful - at least to outsiders. DJSS has cultivated quite the reputation, being a polarizing figure to the public and all, so the fact that he has a child certainly doesn't sit well with those who exclusively see him for being arrogant and irresponsible.

He's very private about this aspect of his life, ignoring any questions about his child or his struggles as a parent. It's easy to assume he just doesn't care at all.

Those who DO know DJSS are fully aware of his dedication, his work ethics might be unorthodox and only make sense to him but damn if he doesn't get the job done. The reason he can act so casual is because of the work he puts in behind the scenes, multitasking a hundred different things to ensure the kid is fully cared for. After all, the happier this kid is, the less troublesome they'll be.

I imagine that during the first years, he provides for the child without getting himself directly involved. If they show interest in something in particular, like dinosaurs for example, DJSS won't take them to any exhibits but he will buy them encyclopedias and leave documentaries on for them to watch. If they need interaction and friends, he'll set up weekly playdates with Yinu (if she's not too old) - maybe even let the other Megastars babysit his kid. They've all probably pestered him about bringing his kid to work just so they can meet them, finding babysitters isn't a problem.

Once again, distance. DJSS doesn't want his career to end so suddenly just because he has to take care of a human life. Until he finds his footing and comes to term with being a father, DJSS resorts to finding people who are properly equipped to care for the kid when needed, all while he ensures that all of their needs are met without directly stepping in.

He becomes very perceptive to his kid and any changes in their behaviour, being able to tell if they've had a bad day or if they're hiding something from him just from a few glances. DJSS makes sure to be informed about his kid's friends, their passions and hobbies, likes and dislikes... All so he can nudge them in the right direction or give them advice in his own subtle way.

I want to insist that this isn't a case of an unloving father who purposefully ignores his child. It's more so an issue of properly connecting and bonding with each other. DJSS knows them like the back of his hand, but only the things he's been able to gleam and observe - and his child? They wouldn't be able to tell you HIS favorite color. And yet they both care about each other in their own way. It's a very one-sided, complex family dynamic.

Contrary to popular belief, DJSS would not want to be his kid's teacher. But their education is still very important to him.

Does he have a lot of things to say about the current education system? Yes. Does he think he could do a better job than every single teacher in Vinyl City? Absolutely, his ego is big enough for that.

But when it comes to his kid's education, DJSS understands that he's been a little out of touch with the basics. He didn't get a degree to be an elementary or highschool teacher, after all.

While he can't pick them up from school or attend every single parent-teacher meeting, DJSS makes a point of meeting all of his kid's teachers to ensure they're taking their jobs seriously and also keeps up with the curriculum - just in case his kid has any trouble with homework. Part of him does want them to have great grades, as otherwise would reflect poorly on him, but at the end of the day, DJSS would want them to do their best, to learn out of a genuine sense of curiosity.

I can see DJSS and his kid having study sessions, in which he casually complains about all the new things that he "should know about" like the old man he is, but feeling a surge of pride whenever his kid corrects him - something about seeing himself in them and whatnot. If they end up becoming interested in his own field of work, he'll be SO smug and happy about it.

Let's be honest, his kid is bound to have at least some interest in something space-adjacent given... Well, their father being a literal black hole and astrophysicist. It would be suuuuper funny to me if his kid became interested in astrology instead during their rebellious teens, just to spite him. Either way, if they choose something else entirely, he'll support them (after some nagging like "are you SURE that's what you want?" etc).

Maybe this is the way he could properly bond with his kid, while also rekindling his love for teaching and letting go of some bitter old habits and views.

DJSS is the type of parent who really starts to connect with his kid once they grow up, when the passage of time hits him all at once and he worries about them not being close.

Somehow, it's easier to DJSS to deal with a rebellious teenager or a struggling young adult than dealing with a child or toddler.

Probably one of the very few characters who can stand having a sassy kid who talks back or drops the most devastating comebacks ever - he can't complain there, they picked up that attitude directly from HIM, he can tell. They've absolutely heard him talk down to NSR staff and anyone who pisses him off.

I get the feeling he and his kid would banter a lot, growing closer while struggling to find ways of being vulnerable around each other - because another thing that his kid gets from him is that lingering distance. They're probably used to independence, to doing things on their own and not ask for help unless strictly necessary because that's exactly DJSS' own modus operandi.

So it's all awkward, baby steps towards progress. But the second DJSS and his kid become besties, it's absolutely OVER for everyone else. Everyone in NSR knows better than to try and out-sass them when they're together.

Expect a lot of debates, just a lot of them about anything and everything. Either for shits and giggles, to discuss theories or really in-depth stuff. People often assume they're arguments because of how seriously he and his kid seem to take it, but it's all in good fun.

Personally, as combative and defensive DJSS can be when it comes to subjects he's passionate about (or because of his pettiness), I don't see him being the type to ever argue with his kid. At this point, he's fully come to terms with his role as their dad. If there's anyone worth listening to on this side of the universe is his kid. Had it been anyone else, he would've just walked out the door and ignored them, but that's his kid. Their opinion is important to him.

And here's a random assortment of headcanons I don't have enough to expand on!

DJSS is absolutely the type of parent who gloats and brags about anything his kid achieves to every single other parents in the vicinity. He might have a hard time being verbally and physically affectionate with his kid, but damn if he doesn't love talking everyone's ears off about their achievements.

He doesn't take many photos nor have any dedicated albums to them as a family, but he 100% saves all of their tests and essays and homework and drawings.

Has a lot of small tapes recorded throughout the years for his kid. These range from sneaky recordings of them as a kid babbling about silly things, him reading bedtime stories to them when they were young, heartfelt apologies or speeches that he never got the courage to say outloud, retellings of specific events like their first failed exam, their first broken bone, their first trip somewhere... Or very domestic things like grocery shopping lists, etc etc. He's dramatic and extra like that.

Least likely to threaten his kid's romantic partner to treat them right or else. DJSS trusts their judgement. However, expect to be blacklisted from any NSR-owned facility and store within Cast Tech should you break his kid's heart.

I like to think that his kid calls Eve "Auntie" and that she's the only one within NSR to get that special treatment, since I HC DJSS and Eve as besties <3. She's also the one to save them from DJSS' fashion sense cause he thinks it's perfectly fine to wear shorts in the middle of winter.

DJSS is entirely indifferent about their preference for EDM or Rock, that's their business. But he would love to be involved when/if his kid starts to dabble in music.

DJSS does have space-themed nicknames for his kid, but he's worried about being cringe so he only uses them whenever his kid isn't within earshot. He couldn't care less about random people hearing him use these nicknames and whatnot, but as much as he denies it, he wants his kid to think he's cool.