#even if I never speak it with anybody
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Tonight at dinner I found myself giving a genealogy of why my family is the way it is and I am once again sad that I don't speak creole or have a stronger connection with Guadeloupean culture
I dunno that this is ever going away tbh
#Matt has a life#Shit from home#unless I finally find a Guadeloupe créole tutor and learn it#even if I never speak it with anybody
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I’m still so mentally ill over the whole Luffy refusing to eat unless it’s Sanji’s food thing. Like. We KNOW how fucking feral over food Luffy is. He loves food and loves eating so much that he steals it off other people’s plates and out of their hands and is so impatient when it comes to meals that he’ll literally try and sneak into the kitchen to mooch before it’s ready. Or he’ll try to break into the refrigerator. I know Sanji mentioned putting a lock on it at some point bc Luffy literally wiped it clean. He will not hesitate to eat other people’s portions or literally an entire meal meant for a whole ship of people! He’s unbelievably selfish when it comes to food and that’s just SUCH a central part of his character that it’s become almost endearing. Even in Totto Land Luffy didn’t think for a second before devouring everything in sight, including an entire fucking HOUSE, regardless of the consequences or the people it might affect. Homie did not care!! He’s food driven first and foremost!!!
Until Sanji leaves him. Until he decides that eating—something that he loves and brings him comfort—isn’t WORTH it unless it’s Sanji’s food he’s eating. It’s been shown that Luffy has zero self restraint when it comes to food so the fact that he was SURROUNDED by food on all sides on a food themed island and utterly refused to partake in any of that? Even though he hates being hungry and will always make eating a priority over pretty much anything else?? The amount of willpower it must have taken for him to sit there and purposefully let himself starve, for SANJI. Even when food was offered to him conveniently (in the form of syrup rain) he stubbornly rejected that. Because it wasn’t Sanji’s food. Because it wasn’t Sanji who made it, who always puts so much thought and care into the food he makes, who always indulges Luffy and prepares extra because he knows how much Luffy eats and how much he loves to eat. Luffy literally took one of the most defining traits he has and tossed it out the window. For Sanji. I’m going to fucking blow up
#RAGHHH. RAGHHHHHH#One Piece#Sanlu#Lusan#Sanji#Luffy#WCI#Whole Cake Island#Shima speaks#I just can’t get over it. I’ll never get over it actually.#Luffy refusing food. Bc he wants Sanji more. Bc he CARES about Sanji more#HE REALLY SAID ‘Guess I’ll die ¯\_(ツ)_/¯’#This isn’t even half of it. This doesn’t even tie into the whole ‘I can’t become King of the Pirates without you’ line#Luffy really looked at his utmost goal (becoming Pirate King) and his favorite thing in the world (food) and said#’Without Sanji it’s not worth it. I don’t want it’#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP#He’s never done that for anybody else. I am just SAYING. JUST SAYING!!!!!!#Usopp jokingly: What do you want more the One Piece or Sanji#Luffy without a moment of hesitation: Sanji#Usopp: Haha see I—oh. Oh???#Usopp: Was NOT expecting that tbh.#Luffy: I’ll pick Sanji over food or the One Piece every time :)#Sanji: 😳😳😳😭😭😭#GIGGLING INSANELY. I CANNOT BELIEVE THEM
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✨ Star Friends ✨




When I found out that @chessman-protocol boy Crit liked Astronomy, let’s just say I was beyond estatic and immediately planned this little comic. Here’s to my boy Vincent doing his best to make friends with folks who share similar interests 😅💙
Funny enough, I didn’t realize I put this in Vincent character’s until I looked at the whole thing, but Vincent very much shares the lack of stranger danger the way I did/ I do to this day. To quote one of my past managers I’m “abnormally friendly” or whatever
I can’t tell you how many times even as a small child (drove my parents nuts) that I saw a cool person with whatever connecting factor and I just straight up walked to them and was like “Ok cool. We’re friends now.” And nobody’s really stopped me? So apparently I have friends now. 😆
Vincent however is just a wholesome baby boy who doesn’t realize he’s actually an intimidating hunk of a turtle and randomly walking up to strangers and not saying anything can be taken the wrong way.
Like I said, he’s trying his best. He wasn’t exactly the most socialized if you can’t tell, but he does love dearly and is certainly a boone of a friend to have once you get past the inevitable social awkwardness. He’s loyal to put because he really doesn’t know better, and I adore him for that. Anyway, dunno if Crit knows any ASL or not, but either way Vincent is just excited to meet somebody else who likes space ✨🌌 💙
#just being jayus#doing this ugly and scared#my boy <3#Vincent my beloved#rottmnt original character#rottmnt oc#original comic#rottmnt#save rottmnt#unpause rise of the tmnt#time to go feral in the comments again; please ignore the ramblings of an insane person#Fun fact: Vincent is mute (late mutation and didn’t fully develop vocal chords) and so he only speaks turtle and partial ASL#Morrocoy Tortoise AKA Yellow or Red Footed Tortoise bop their head to assert dominance and show emotions#Head hopping and headbutting is Vincent’s tic and you can tell how he’s feeling by how fast or slow he goes because it’s a VIBE#Working on this comic was like the preverbal attempt of taking a horse to water#except this horse is a pony (anything under 14 hands is of the devil) and would not even spare it a glance unless it was perfection#Alas mockery and spite is unfortunately my demise and I could not handle the blank page any longer#Can you see how my style changed when the focus and subject changed?😅#Forgive me my son#for I have not learned to draw you from all angles yet.#Why did I make you so pretty and detailed in my head and yet have my hand betray you?!#The true tragedy is when your idea level is not at your skill level bECaUsE I KnOw wHaT hEs SuPpOsEd To LoOk LiKe BuT I CaNt DrAw HiM yEt#So here we are and I am accutely aware of how much work there is to be done. I’m looking at you flippin turtle anatomy#But hey we all have to start somewhere#so here I am#I tried and by golly I will keep trying. Vincent deserves that much 😅🧡🫡#I just looked back at this and realized I MISSED A STINKING PANEL. And Vincent’s shirt.#Flips a table in my mind#Also I’ve never made a mute character before so if anybody has notes especially about ASL PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E lemme know.#Wanna make sure I represent the peoples correctly 🫡🧡
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is anyone else on the fence about going to grad school or not? i never really wanted to go when i was in undergrad until i got interested in archiving during my senior year and the very thought of going to grad school has tormented me ever since especially since it’s kinda required to have masters degree to be an archivist or similar glam professional 😩 but the archive job market is really bad, pay is low, it’s just really oversaturated, and not very diverse in terms of the amount of black archivists…but i love history and archiving and i have a lot of experience 😪

#finna just say ‘fuck it’ and apply bc i don’t have any other plans and i just feel like a bump on a log as time goes on#idk if anyone else is interested in archiving or going to grad school for a shitty career but yeah i wanna from anybody with opinions#and/or wisdom 😭😪#if not…oh well lmao#i just feel very naive going after this career even tho i do have experience and am capable of doing alot of shit#also i never really talk about personal stuff on here so heyyyy here’s my business 🤲🏾#🪐 speaking
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finished veilguard. i enjoyed it but it was also real bad. the highs were really high the lows extremely low. the only people they really made this game for was solavellans and it should've stayed as an ao3 fic
#sigh. anyway#to the fix its i go#honestly i think i wouldnt have had as much of a problem as i did if i was obsessed with some other faction that wasnt the crows#but they absolutely butchered them#lukas kristjanson.... why do u poison everything u touch.....#still LOVED lucanis and teia and viago tho and their potential will forever keep me up at night#+ i got lucky because i went into veilguard wanting to make a really purple rook so their characterization was real good to me#i will give the game a couple more runs probably#esp because. davrin's romance. duh.#AND i need to play as elio's twin to see what emmrich's romance is like#++ that ''secret ending''........................... what is it. it intrigues me#has anyone actually seen it?? the gaming guides i saw for getting it refuse to speak of it and i think it might be the achievement on steam#0% of players have gotten#sigh. whatever. im gonna go read eight little talons and the wigmakers job. maybe even replay origins to remember exactly what zevran#says abt the crows so i can make up my own thing from that#AND i will def be replaying inquisition. i better never hear anybody disrespect my girl like that ever again after this
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violentine literally has everything. tension to friends to lovers. i wall myself off from people to keep myself safe but theres something about you. we understand each other. going against your group to stand up for this person and what you believe is right. "i saw that you were in danger and i just acted without thinking". battle team. co leaders. "ive lost so many people and i cant lose you too i wont". struggling single parent finding someone who supports her And her kid. not-so-ex-girlfriend one of the main villains. go to war together. captured together. escape together but lost in the chaos and later reuniting. twice. fighting ex together. twice. making it back (mostly) safe and sound and building a real home worth fighting for together
BUT theyre in a choice game so you can also have: betrayal. manipulated by not-so-ex-girlfriend in a moment of severe weakness into agreeing with the wrong side. fighting against each other (and later apologizing). severe injury? DEATH?? no matter what a sacrifice is Made???

#clem looking for a home and finding one at ericsons. vi never seeing ericsons as a home and even wanting to leave until clem showed up 😭#clem wouldnt have even been ALLOWED to stay at ericsons post ep1 if not for violet sticking up for her throughout ep2#violets act of standing up for clem being the catalyst for her stepping into a leadership position. seeing her self confidence grow sm#clem already knowing how to lead. helping take some weight off violets shoulders. balancing the work of keeping everyone going#THEY ARE EACH OTHERS ROCKS!!!!!! AAAAHHH#star watching date making up their own constellations.......slow dancing.............#calling each other girlfriends....#4 kisses 🥺#3 way girlfriend smackdown sdfgsdg TWICE#they feed me so well#their ship name is also S tier what can i say but thats just bonus points#holds the mic out anybody got anything to add did i miss anything#these two inflict so many emotions upon me every time i replay they are everything 2 me#it speaks#twdg#violentine
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xiaophobic in 2025…. hey y’all!
#i doubt anybody’s here to still read this but when was i ever doing this for an audience fr LOL#i know all about speaking into the void#wow i don’t even remember my tags hold on#atlas.rambles#UGHH THATS SO NOSTALGIC#i was just reminiscing 🥹 scrolling through everything yk#i never gave like a formal goodbye but this blog was such a huge part of my teenage years GUYS IM NINETEEN#IM AN ADULT WITH DICK AND BALLS BRO IM EMPLOYED LIKE HELLOOOOOO#i barely play genshin anymore as i’m sure is true for most of us#i’m def still on tumblr though PLS i have an….arcane blog……..that may or may not be nsfw……….#not free just UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT#i’m also still friends with ves do you guys remember my pookie…. ganyuslily if you can hear me……..#anyway yeah :] if anyone is actually still here heyyy! xiaophobic is always in my heart <3#hope you’re all doing wonderfully!
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i feel a slight weirdness about the huge presence of maned wolves in furry spaces.. as in maned wolves are awesome and one of my favorites animals ever, and they look cool it makes sense why furries like them. but the same way maned wolves and also capybaras are so popular in english internet spaces in art and memes n shit i still feel weirdly defensive about them and somewhat sad that south american animals native from my home country are very appreciated but also it seems like the fact theyre south american is just glossed over and ignored. like does that make sense. that i feel kinda heart broken at seeing a white usamerican furry have a maned wolf fursona and see this animal im familiar with be turned into an American. does it make any sense that for some reason i gatekeep animals
#im not saying its problematic or i hate anybody who ever posted about maned wolves or capybaras ever#im more trying to understand my own feelings and why it upsets me even though its not a big deal#i mean i probably do the same i post about grey wolves and lions and lots of animals from other places im not familiar with#so it sounds hypocrite im defensive of ''my'' animals for some reason#guess i just generally feel very lonely in english speaking mostly usamerican internet spaces as always#a part of me gets represented but never really acknowledged. man i need to talk to more brazilians#🧃.txt
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god help me i have made up a childhood friend and eventual boyfriend for a relatively minor character in a show nobody watches but SPECIFICALLY for that version of the character in my insane au. Exactly five of you will read the fic if I write it but oughhhhhhhhhhh i am tempted to write it
#ramblings#thought too hard about the aftermath of temporary (but long-term) curses in the foxtrap au and exploded a little bit#what if you got cursed when you were a little kid#but then it wore off#and you had to pretend like you were happy that suddenly everything you've ever known about yourself is different#you were *the same* as someone else#and now you're not#and you can't even understand it when he speaks in the language that was just for the two of you#and you drifted apart because being around him reminded you of everything you lost#because he's never going to lose it. he was made like this. you only got to taste it#when you look at him you miss yourself#and you can't get it back#so you stop talking to him. you say goodbye and you act like you're happy to have had your body stolen from you#and a decade later fate brings you back together#if literally anybody is interested in hearing about a bonkers oc drop me an inbox i need to talk about him more 👀
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it's amazing how almost all of my friendships (and by almost all i mean Every save like three) are ruined by my own self essentially swerving into a wall and crashing on purpose due to my inability to believe my company could ever be even slightly desirable to anyone and i'd rather just burn it all and die than see myself as someone who intrudes and abuses people's kindness out of my own selfish desire to want companionship.
#i was going to post something similar the other night but i fell asleep instead#but i was thinking about how truly all cases for me boil down to#>i talk with someone and we have a great time >they express a level of joy in interaction >i get weirdly attached too quickly#>i am comfortable enough to openly be myself which inevitably ends on a weird interaction >i talk too much and am too clingy#>i convince myself that that was actually awful and annoying and not something anybody wanted to hear#>i decide to leave and never be seen again because i don't want to be hated more than i already am in my head#>i am miserable because i really wanted to keep talking to that person#i just had a random two day-long chat with someone who messaged me and we had a good time talking about chainsaw man#and it truly took not much time for me to start going off about other shit until i noticed replies got so much shorter and alienated#and i just stopped altogether. because yeah man you're not here for this and you're probably too polite to tell me to go fuck myself so#i'll just do it for you.#and I KNOW that that's a me problem.#I KNOW that that's my own brain convincing itself that i am worse than i actually am in the eyes of others#and i am AWARE of how unfair that is to anyone else. it speaks to a clear lack of trust that is also my fault#but there's also a reality that i'm just. Not someone that people are particularly Excited to talk to#and i feel like i've wanted nothing more than that ever since i lost it when i was 15 years old#i am Tolerable at usual and a Cartoon Clown at best. and none of those serve as particularly deep connections.#and i know that that's once again a me problem. and i shouldn't ever place that expectation on anyone. that is not fair. and i try not to.#but like. is it bad for me to want that to begin with?#should i just abandon the idea altogether and accept that yeah i am just destined to be a crazy hermit murmuring ramblings by themselves#is that the Morally correct thing to do? to just be alone? that's for sure what it feels like to me#that yeah that's what my life is always going to be. no joy in connection or sharing. just an endless stream of thoughts by myself.#that way at least my life won't get in the way of anyone else's lives.#and like. i am always hoping that someone would make a deliberate attempt to reach out to me even if i'm hell bent on isolating myself.#because that would be a proof that someone cares enough you know? that I Am an active choice that someone makes.#but that never comes. and that's not something that would be fair for me to expect or ask for either. would it?#might as well hope for a unicorn while i'm at it.
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I still think the FUNNIEST thing I could do if I ever managed to write the stories in my brain, publish them, and get any kind of decent following would be to destroy the shipping gatekeepers by revealing that EVERY single one of the characters are aroace-spec. Every last one. In fact most of them are 100% hard-core aroace with no attraction to anyone else. That the ones who are into each other are each other's sole exceptions and they would never canonically be interested in any other person.
And, further, that outside of those sole exceptions they're all sex and romance repulsed.
I just think it would be hilarious to watch the "noooooo, you can't headcanon that character as aspec because they're TOTALLY [other identity that they headcanon instead regardless of actual canonical proof, including a lot of times where it's just subtext they interpreted as "totally proof of this one identity" but is actually a more general "Not Het" vibe that is shared across multiple identities]" crowd have a meltdown realizing that they either need to abandon all their shipping outside of those specific ships in order to avoid being hypocrites or that they can accept that people can have different headcanons at times and that shipping doesn't have to respect the source material.
(For the record, as a creator I wouldn't actually tell people they're not allowed to ship things because of canonical identities--shipping is for the fans, not the creator, and it wouldn't be my business. I just think it would be funny payback for all the aphobia that gets tossed at aspec folks over their personal headcanons from shippers who feel threatened for some reason by somebody with an aspec headcanon)
#i mean at this point I've accepted that my brain will not wrangle enough to actually#turn all these ideas and all the worldbuilding into cohesive novels so i just write blurbs and have fun with it#but if i somehow COULD i think that as an aroace-spec creator that would be the funniest move i could make#i mean like canonically speaking they wouldn't show any interest outside of the handful of characters into each other#so honestly very few of them would even have a way to show disinterest because it wouldn't be the focus or come up#i think i only have like 2 characters it would even make sense for#to have them outright say they aren't into anybody ever and never will be#BY THE WAY HAPPY ARO WEEK
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definitely feeling overdramatic right now, but i am SO overwhelmed from the stress of that trip and everything that happened before it and everything i have going on between now and the end of the year, that i would like to not interact with a single nother person for two weeks minimum.
#irl… online… anything#i honestly think that would fix me#i just don’t wanna see ANYone#i am soooooooo unhappy#like. not to be a huge baby but i really need support rn and instead i’m supporting everybody else#i am completely at the end of my rope though#i didn’t know it was possible to be THIS done#just completely burnt out… i finally got there!#but instead i have to do fucking Thanksgiving tomorrow#and then work and do TWO programs on Friday#and then drive to North Carolina for the concert. and drive back#and it’s just like. Man.#i REALLY can’t live like this#and do you KNOW how much i still need to get done before the end of the year?????#and i’m going to another concert next Thursday#and then i have a bird walk on Friday#and a Christmas party on Saturday#and ANOTHER bird walk on Sunday#just AHHHHHH. UGH UGH UGH#and that’s not even discussing regular work and SCHOOLWORK and volunteer shit#just fuck#i’m so done#don’t wanna do anything… don’t wanna see anybody#i just want to move away and never speak to anyone again#fuck
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warren they could NEVER make me like you
#hes weird hes a creep and i dont care what anybody says about him just being a boy in highschool with a crush 🥺#i just recently had an experience with a guy like that and trust me i do not GAF if hes just some young boy with a crush#like can we get serious honestly because even if that’s how this Young Man is processing his crush#it doesn’t change the girl’s discomfort (me being that girl and also max in the game)#max shows discomfort. she reluctantly agrees to plans with him. when she agrees she wishes she hadn’t#she’s always thinking of chloe in those moments#trust me that girl doesn’t want warren and warren’s making her sincerely uncomfortable#she’s just a good sport about it and i get Why#it’s hard to speak out or to stand your ground it’s easier to just play it off#but even when you do you try and avoid the guy (which she did!!!!!)#so warren? OVER. g/rahamfield? NEVER HAPPENING thank you#🧸#also double exposure when i get my HANDS ON YOU#them dumbing down p-ricefield to hs sweethearts just made those stalker freak’s fans 20x more annoying#even though the phrase doesn’t necessarily mean they didn’t love each other / weren’t soulmates#people just… are weird… and annoying…#i will survive sorry I just needed to get this one out esp since it’s TOO real now after that one guy i dealt w 😭
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Just checked out Red Peafowl's instagram, I think they are going to release characters and/or ships videos until the 25.
I need some official translation so much.
It's so frustrating that their marketing is one working for me, and two working for me without me having an official translation.
#red peafowl#red peafowl the series#I hate that this is my new hyperfixation#does anybody that follow me know any bloggers on here that speak thai#i know there are some but i don't remember their user name#and do you think these blogs could translate the charcters and plot bios#the chart is pretty much just the names and job/quick description i think#how do you even ask something like that#help#my social anxiety would never let me do that#ahhhhhhhhhhh#ITA Original
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i love prime defenders but jesus fucking christ slow down and give me some fucking filler and fluff and lighthearted character interactions
I get there's fucking demons but i need you to go talk to your fucking dad right now or i will explode
#the fox speaks#TGEY DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING WITH LEFROG AFTER THEY GOT THE DEMON OUT OF HIM#THEY NEVER ACTUALLY PROVE HIS INNOCENCE HE COULD STILL FUCKING BE ON DEATH ROW CAUSE THEY DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY ABOYUT THE FUCKING DEMON#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEAS GO TALK TO MARK I NEED HIM TO BE THERE SO FUCKING BAD PLEASE ITS HIS SONN#AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE NEWT GUY I THOUGHT IT WAS MARK BUT HE WAS DIFFERENT BUT THEY JUST FUCKING MOVED ON AND ADOPTED MOE#LIKE I LOVE MOE BUT PLEASE GIVE ME SOME SEASON ONE CHARACTERS TOO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IM GONGA DIE#TIIIIIIIDE I MISS YO SO MUCH IM HAUFHSHDFKS OIUGH AHJKFHDSJK
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#in regards to the oceangate drama#i never like laughing at anyones death so to speak and i cant imagine how that poor lad who is only 19 must have been feeling trapped on t#submarine with his dad and other strangers#in such a tight space with no way of getting out from the inside way deep under the sea#wouldn't wish it on anybody#but i do blame the billionaires who knew the risk they were taking with such a sketchy company#watched a documentary where another rich lady said how she been in the same sub and how it had been very touch and go#and that at the beginning of each trip there is a small print sign saying people need to know the risk of never coming back#so part of its on them and on the company for not having the proper equipment and checks#however im also in the believe that the titanic is a GRAVEYARD and it should be well left alone and not a tourist site#its why i dont like these celebrity graveyards in america and there is on in london#i just dont get it#it never appealed to me#even ordinary folks would just go to a famous dead persons grave and take pictures of it#i think the dead should be left alone#also this submarine was UNCERTIFIED
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