#even hidan knows what it is...

[zombie-honeymoon]

Summary:

Hidan wants to have a pity party at home after getting dumped, and Deidara makes the mistake of inviting him to his art class. It goes about as well as anyone would expect, and to top it off, Hidan discovers some drawings that Deidara would have preferred to stay secret...

[lecliss]

I want to watch Naruto but I don't want to start from the beginning.

[skania]

I gotta say, Sumire is an anomaly. Kishi is actually allowing this girl to keep a clear-head at all times, to figure shit out faster than Shikamaru, to ask the right questions and say the right things all while remaining emphatic and emotionally mature.

If it weren't because he still doesn't let her in on the action, I'd suspect he isn't the one writing her lmao

[kaedeisreal]

😐

[orcelito]

I'm right at the start of Hidan and Kakuzu's arc and I am So Scared

This is one that hurts fr bcksbmf

[or0ch1maru]

Think you’re funny huh?

Content: 18+, rough sex, jealous & possessive ideations mentioned, breeding kink, porn, literal porn

•

He pounds into you at a relentless pace, his tip kissing your cervix with every thrust, pulling broken mewls and whines from your pretty lips. How you ended up in this position, face mushed into the carpet, with your boyfriends large hands holding your hips firmly as he abuses your poor little cunny, is because when he picked you up from work, a mere thirty minutes ago was because he witnessed you speaking with a male coworker. You know of your lovers jealousy, and yes, there’s been times where you go out of your way to taunt him a little. Your goal being to be bent over any surface as he splits you in two.

But this evening was truly by accident, not that you’re complaining. Your mindless babbling turning into choked moans as one of his hands snake around your waist, coming to a stop around your neck, pulling you flush against his chest. This new angle allowing him to get even deeper. A bulge in your belly visible from the sheer size of him, being so deep.

“Think you’re so fucking funny huh? Talking to him right in front ‘f me.”

He taunts you, his thrusts turning sloppy as he feels his release creeping up on him. His voice deep, and his breath coming out heavy as he speaks to you, even though you can barely process what’s coming out of your lovers mouth. A whine escapes your lips in reply. Whimpering as you feel yourself get even fuller, your boyfriend painting your gummy and overused walls with his cum. He fucks his seed into you before pulling out. Pulling your soaked panties back up, the soft fabric sitting snug against you.

“Gonna send you into work just like this, stuffed full of my cum. Let those other guys know that you belong to me..”

•

TOJI, SUKUNA, Suguru, Satoru, RENJI, KENPACHI, Naoya, OBITO, Pain, Kisame, Sasori, Todo, Choso, HIDAN, Kakuzu, Shiu

[iluvangel]

⌌┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

┊ .˚ 🍥 ༘┊͙ Naruto guys kinks ; ‘🥛 „ ↴

⌎┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ Canon/non ? NSFW

A-Z order

୨⎯ 🍥 ⎯୧

ASUMA

Strip go ! : like strip poker but go, because that’s the game he’s always playing, every time one of you lose, the loser has to strip

Burning : he would enjoy marking you with the tip of his hot cigarette and pouring hot wax on ur soft exposed skin

Blowing the smoke from his mouth into his partners

DEIDARA

Creampie : “it’s like an explosion into your body!” He wouldn’t enjoy hurting you so his normal explosions wouldn’t be a bedroom thing; so this would be the next best thing in his eyes

Loud sex : he himself is a very loud person so whether it’s you loudly moaning and screaming or him it would get him off everytime

GAARA

Graphiocrotica : you drawing on him would be the biggest turn on for him every time whether it’s you just running ur fingers on his skin making random shapes, or using a pen, marker, or even paint. Full on leaving each shape and word on his body

Praising : not extreme praising like complimenting him on how his body moves in you that would embarrass him but calling him a good boy or even your good boy would be a need for him

HIDAN

Blood play : blood is literally his thing it’s obvious it would be a kind of his

Knife play : another thing to draw blood from you, or even the fear in his eyes and wonder if he will cut you or if he’s just dragging the blade along your exposed skin

ITACHI

Praising : as the respectful person he is praising you and letting you know your doing a good job would be his favorite thing to do “don’t stop your making me feel so good” “your doing amazing” “good girl”

Being blindfolded : the thrill of feeling you touch his body not knowing where he’s going to feel you next

KAKASHI

Exhibitonism : having sex or playing with you in public places, not public to the point where he’s fucking you in the middle of the road but public like in alleys or in the forest during/after missions. Places that people could walk in on the two of you

Marking : he would love leaving hickeys and bite marks all over your body, small ones on your neck for people to see when their talking to you, and bigger ones where only the two of you can see “these are our little secrets”

KIBA

Acarophilia : scratching, him scratching you is his biggest turn on, but when it’s you scratching him it makes his soul leave his body

Marking : unlike Kakashi Kiba would be more open about where he leaves hickeys and bites on you, your neck would always have two big hickeys on each side of your neck accompanied by little ones that lead down to your collar bone, and bite marks everywhere and anywhere, he thinks would look pretty

NARUTO

Praising : he would love any and every praise you give him weather it’s telling how good he’s doing, complimenting how he moves or even simply telling him how amazing he is

Sleeping with it inside you : need I say more?

NEJI

Sexual arousal from intellectual conversations : you debating with him whether you win or lose the fact your smart enough to hold your own would turn him on or even just you talking about something you know a lot about

Bondage : having control over whether your body can move or not

OBITO

Being tied up : if he’s in his playful tobi mood it would bring him such thrill being tied and bound, whether it’s his arms and ankles or just cuffs on his wrists it would turn him on

Discipline : if he’s in his more serious mode he would get off on punishing you, spanking you or simply degrading you would be his favorite thing

SASORI

Toys : he loves to make things that’s just his thing, but seeing the way you move and wiggle when they’re inside you would be his favorite sight

Double penetration : him in one hole and his puppets or toys in the other with you sandwiched in the middle

SHIKAMARU

You telling him what to do and bossing him around

Degrading : he would love to tell you how pathetic you are and what a little slut you are for him (knowing damn well you have full control over him and his body)

YAHIKO (PAIN)

Edging/orgasm control : he wants to tell you when you can and can’t cum, he wants to hear your cry’s and whimpers as you beg him to not stop

Degrading : just like Shikimaru he would love to tell you what a pathetic little slut you are, and how you’re such a whore for him

୨⎯ 🍥 ⎯୧

[evilkitten3]

sasori is the most unhinged about it, konan is the most normal about it, itachi is the most closeted, and kakuzu doesn't care bc he sold all the body parts he wasn't using years before he figured it out anyway

however tragically the correct answer is none of these. it's orochimaru. we all just kind of have to live with that.

[cosmic-glow]

Request: "May I request soft akatsuki headcannons for a reader who loves to bake and cook? It's a passion of mine, and a great stress reliever! There's nothing I won't try and try to make!"

Notes: First of all, I'm sorry it took me so long to respond 😭 I also like cooking and I completely agree with you! I hope you like what I wrote, good reading!

"Are you hungry, love?"- Akatsuki

Warnings: no pronouns; no use of "y/n"; pure cuteness. Gender: Soft Headcanons. Characters: Itachi; Kisame; Deidara; Sasori; Kakuzu; Hidan; Zetsu; Tobi/Obito; Pein; Konan.

Itachi Uchiha

He always offers you help in the kitchen.

He is very picky when cooking for someone but is easily satisfied with whatever you cook for him.

He feels obligated to return the favor by cooking for you too. That's why he took charge of breakfast, always waking up before you to prepare what you like.

Likes hot foods and pasta. Loves handmade sweets.

He prefers traditional foods, but accepts trying new flavors when he's with you.

He loves going out to buy new ingredients with you, he knows a lot about the subject and would be of great help.

Kisame Hoshigaki

You know that popular saying that the best way to conquer a man is through his stomach? It applies very well to this man.

He likes to be spoiled with food and will be grateful for it so.. please cook for him.

His heart feels warm when he comes home and smells something delicious you are preparing.

He likes foods with a sweet and sour taste, and he loves meat. He also loves sweets, so it's not hard to please Kisame.

He loves trying new flavors with you. If you want, he'll even help you in the kitchen, but he's not very good (he's a bit clumsy).

He'll find a way to say thank you, whether it's washing the dishes, giving gifts, taking you out to eat, all of the above, whatever you prefer.

He's the kind of guy who would eat what you prepared even if it was completely burnt if he knew you put effort into it.

Deidara

He likes fast food, but is very happy when you cook for him.

Thanks to you, he's starting to eat more healthily, because he has a childish palate and is very resistant to exploring new flavors.

He likes spicy foods because are like an explosion in the mouth.

"I have to say, honey, your cooking is an art!" - he says with his mouth full when he really likes it.

One of his favorite moments of the day is when you're eating something you've prepared or he's bought, watching a movie and talking about anything.

It's something very simple, but if you make a cake just for him on his birthday, he'll feel so loved that he might even cry a little.

(Sometimes he brags to the other members about having such a skilled s/o in the kitchen).

But please keep this boy the hell away from the kitchen! When I say he's a complete chaos cooking, it's because the kitchen almost always explodes! Literally!

Sasori

He often forgets that he still needs to eat due to his puppet body, so he's grateful that you remind him. He still needs to eat a little every now and then to ensure a bit of vital energy or something.

And yes, that was the lie he invented to not disappoint you. And regardless of whether you believed it or not, he always eats your food, even though he knows how much work it will take to clean his insides afterwards (don't worry, he'll probably come up with something to solve this).

Understand, he lied because he knows how important cooking is to you, he sees how much you work at it, but had the misfortune of being with a guy who doesn't need to eat… but he couldn't risk hurting you for something that's his fault.

Sasori only eats your food and no one else's, no matter how much they insist.

He likes foods with strong spices, he no longer feels flavors in the same way as when he was a human.

At the end of every meal, he politely thanks you for the delicious food and offers to help with the dishes.

Kakuzu

He likes hot, very hot, and traditional foods. Doesn't like sweets.

He's great in the kitchen and sometimes cooks for you too, as a thank you. Kakuzu has many years of experience in the kitchen, take the opportunity to ask questions and get some tips, he may not show it but he really likes to help you.

Maybe you don't know, but Kakuzu practically never eats out, he knows that some people want him dead and could easily poison his food. So for him to eat everything you prepare without hesitation is really a great show of trust.

He is very silent while eating, but he doesn't mind if you want to talk about your day, he will be listening to every part.

He really appreciates your food, getting involved and asking about the spices you used, how you prepared it, he really likes it when you test a new recipe.

Always at the end of every meal he thanks you for the food and gets up before you to clear the table and wash the dishes, a silent way of thanking you.

Hidan

Spicy and crunchy foods and sour desserts, it's true heaven for him...

As incredible as it may seem, Hidan is very picky about his food, it's unbearable to go out to eat with him, it seems like he always makes a point of finding some flaw.

But it's the total opposite with you, he eats everything you prepare without complaining too much, just teasing you a little as always. Except if he is angry with you for some reason, then he will be impossible, no matter what you prepared, he will not eat it.

Hidan has a very annoying childhood palate, so don't force him to eat something he doesn't really like, like vegetables for example.

You'll probably have some arguments about him drink any kind of blood but not wanting to eat the soup you made (for example), but it won't change anything.

Whenever you enter the kitchen, Hidan follows right behind to find out what you're going to prepare and also because he loves to annoy you while you're cooking. He tickles you, bites you, hugs you, kisses you and even steals some utensils to disturb you before you kick him out of the kitchen.

Zetsu

He likes meat a lot, in fact you thought it was the only thing he could eat.

He is very impatient and even hugs you trying to convince you to let him eat before you finish.

"I don't care that it's not ready yet and it's raw, I'm hungry, love. Let me eat it just the way it is."

Not a very good critic of your recipes, he will eat literally anything you put in front of him and thank you for it.

You are the one who teaches him to have a more refined palate and he loves trying new flavors with you.

Zetsu grows a vegetable garden just for you, with everything you need fresh and tasty for your recipes.

Tobi/Obito Uchiha

Tobi >loves< sweets, make sweets for him and you'll have him curled up in the palm of your hand.

Both Tobi and Obito don't like spicy food.

He feels so loved when you cook for him <3 (a tip: prepare ramen for him when he's sad, it'll make him feel better).

Whenever he comes home early he brings you some sweets he bought at the bakery as a treat.

This is another man who is very easy to win over with his stomach. He'll feel very special if you tell him you've prepared something just for him. Make him your guinea pig for new recipes, he really doesn't mind and always gives you great feedback.

He always offers you the first bite out of respect, he is as happy to see you eating and talking about how tasty it is as he is to eat something you prepared.

Pein

Pein went through long periods of starvation as a child, so as much as it may seem, he isn't very picky about what he eats.

Likes hot and spicy foods. Hate sweets.

He is a great fan of your food, even if you've accidentally burnt it or overdone the seasoning, he'll be happy to eat something you've lovingly prepared.

Due to his work as leader of Akatsuki, he often forgets to eat properly. It's you who show up at his office and remind him to eat, with something you've prepared in hand, he's really grateful for your care.

He is always attentive to your needs. Did you like a cuter utensil kit than the ones you have? Are your. Wanting new seasonings? Suddenly they appear in your pantry. Everything you need.

Pein always makes it clear how he likes you to cook but that he doesn't want you to be overwhelmed with it, so he does everything to make this task easier for you, including ordering something from restaurants for you to eat and enjoy your free time together.

Konan

He likes mild sweets and, ironically, spicy foods. (Please make sweets for Konan, she likes a lot).

She will always feel like she is bothering or burdening you when you cook for her.

Konan isn't that good in the kitchen, so she's grateful to have a s/o who cooks so well. Sometimes she watches you cook to try to learn something, in an attempt to return the favor one day.

Buy a lot of sweets for you and make a point of always keeping your pantry well stocked so you don't have to worry about buying ingredients.

As I said, Konan doesn't like to burden you, so very often she takes you on restaurant dates.

Konan loves the culinary tours you plan, she could listen to you talk for hours about techniques, recipes and ideas. She loves seeing how excited you get talking about it.

Sorry for any typos;

Buy me a coffee?

Masterlist

[snuggleboots]

₊˚♡˚₊ The Akatsuki and their jealousy ₊˚♡˚₊

Tags: GN Reader, GN flirt, general jealousy and implied murder shenanigans.

Tobi essentially zeroes in the instant someone else starts laughing a little too hard at your jokes. Uhm, hello? You're funny, but you're not that funny. In fact, he's pretty sure he's the only person that busts a gut laughing when you crack your silly little one-liners or puns. It's cute to him, nobody else has any business making a play by acting all giggly and doe-eyed. He doesn't need to be violent about it - and really, why would he be? Tobi's just as happy to lean in - uncomfortably close - and then loudly declare that they have something stuck in their teeth! And it's super noticeable! So's their breath! It's not rude, he's just being helpful! He can smell their lunch through his mask! And it's rank! How embarrassing! Haha! They really should go brush their teeth, huh! Go away! Far, far, away!

Hidan is, in fact, very liable to wind up jealous over stupid little things that always result in becoming a pain in the ass for you to defuse when he inevitably hops onto his bullshit. You're out trying to enjoy one meal in peace together? That's funny, because the server seemed to put some weird, flirtatious emphasis on hot when they asked how you like your tea, and that's a problem, and that bitch knows it, too. Oh, they wanna know how hot you like it? Alright! There's loads of people on this earth, and they really wanna get stabbed over you? Fuck it! He just sat down, but clearly he's got some shit to do now. Dinner and a show! Why not?! He gets why Kakuzu doesn't tip now, not that he was gonna anyway. Shit service, and thirsty-ass servers. Fucking ridiculous.

Deidara is the first to notice when someone gets too close and cosy with you. Does it bug him immediately? No. His reaction, however, depends entirely on yours. Do you notice that they're smiling with way too much teeth when they playfully punched your arm? No? Alright. He can let that slide. It's when they deliberately divert your attention from him to themselves that he starts getting annoyed. He's not at all above pointing out tacky behaviour, petty king, and even if it embarrasses you a little, it is highly satisfying for him to see the flirt's face drop into something sour or burn up from the embarrassment. It's even better if you snicker along with him.

Kakuzu's only problem with someone chatting your ear off and really gushing over whatever comes out of your mouth is the fact that they're boosting your ego and he has to deal with it later. Not because the offending flirt boosted your ego, he doesn't give a damn about that, but he's now going to hear the same things you just told them about later when he's already just heard it - and he sincerely doesn't care to hear it again. He doesn't want to act interested, and yet he's going to be faced with either being called a dick, or being forced to feign something to avoid bickering about it after the fact. God dammit.

Kisame doesn't mind seeing someone try their damndest to flirt with you. He trusts you, and he's very happy to sit back while you turn them down- or, if he's lucky, watch while the flirt makes an idiot of themselves trying too hard to clue you in and get your attention. It's funny - he's laughing, and he isn't even trying to hide it. If he's in a cheeky mood, he'll even stir the pot, because he has gremlin tendencies and his humour is catered exclusively to himself. Yeah, he'll egg them on in little ways, until they're feeling nice and confident. Then, while he isn't really a PDA kind of guy, he'll drape a brawny arm over your shoulders, plonk a cheek atop your head and drawl something to the effect of, 'You know what? You do look great in that outfit. It'll look better on the floor later. Ready to go?' Kisame likes finding his own fun like this. The flirts always flap their lips like gasping fish when he hits 'em with that bit, and it tickles his brain just right.

Itachi is generally ambivalent. You have attractive qualities, he knows this, and he's well acquainted with the consequence of having said attractive qualities. As long as you're fine with it and nobody's pushing any obvious boundaries, he's fine with it too. Jealousy isn't an issue at all with Itachi. It only becomes one if you end up uncomfortable and the flirt doesn't pick up on that fact. In that case? He's glad to leave with you, if you don't feel like handling it. If you don't want to leave, or leaving isn't an option? Well, he can use his words. Or, if they've ruffled your feathers enough to annoy him, there are many benefits to being a genjutsu master. Oh, noooo, suddenly all eyes are on the flirt and the judgmental looks are intense and highly disarming. Or, uh oh! There's definitely a fire that just broke out, and they're the only one panicking about it! Oh wow, they left in a hurry. What a shame. They must've drank a little too much, or something like that.

Sasori, simply put, could not possibly care less if you paid him. Possibly aggravated by the fact that someone's breathing air in his direction while he's minding his business with you, someone he can actually tolerate. Yeah, he fully expects you to handle that. He's gained a knack for zoning minor annoyances out- until those minor annoyances become general annoyances. It's only when the offending flirt's voice becomes grating - which, really, doesn't take long at all before he bothers intervening if you haven't already shooed them away yourself. If a terse 'shut up' or 'begone' doesn't dissuade the persistent little gnat, he has poison and many fun, discrete vehicles with which to deliver it. It is purely for the sake of peace and quiet. Does he care when they drop like a sack of rocks, seizing and foaming at the mouth? Not particularly. Do as he does, and zone it out. Don't look at it (derogatory), you'll only encourage it to make more of a scene.

[cherubfae]

𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔞𝔩 || {𝔞𝔨𝔞𝔱𝔰𝔲𝔨𝔦}

They're now realizing what a mistake it was to introduce you to the group, now they have competition with their own teammate.

tags: former ninja!reader, gn! civilian reader, established relationships, threats, violence, protective!akatsuki, slightly suggestive in Sasori's || MINORS DONT INTERACT

Pain

He knows that Konan is harmless and she's not the sort of disrespectful person to go sniffing about where she doesn't belong, especially where he and his partner are concerned. Pain, however, cannot tolerate the lingering touches Konan gives you as she passes by. Her hand brushing yours, guiding you with an arm around your shoulders, and blushing at you. He feels a warning is warranted.

"You are my dear friend, Konan, I have known you many years, but this simply won't do. You are better than how you are acting. Be respectful and leave them alone, and I won't need to inflict pain upon you."

Konan

Oh, well isn't this troublesome. Konan isn't the type to make idle threats, but Pain is her commander and leader. That would not be a wise decision on her part, but she does trust her long-time friend to be somewhat respectful and not place you in any situation where you would be uncomfortable. She's not above putting her foot down if she really must.

"Sir, with all due respect, my partner isn't interested and we would both appreciate you to mind your manners."

Obito

You are his everything. He would destroy the entire world for you. Level mountains, tame seas, there isn't anything he wouldn't do as long as it's within his power. He's pretty surprised that Zetsu even took a liking to you, as he's not one that's expressed interest in most anything other than his eating habits.

"Surely Zetsu is mistaken. My partner isn't a corpse for you to munch on you, nor are they yours for the taking. Keep your distance and I won't have to bloody you up too much."

Zetsu

As with anything, both sides of him are at a near constant quarrel with each other. His light side trying to reassure his darker side that Tobi is harmless and doesn't mean anything malicious by taking interest in you.

"Tobi is a good boy, he means no harm." "His harm is his unwarranted interest in our beloved partner. Fool! You have no sense, do you?"

Hidan

Honestly he could laugh so hard he may undo the stitches in his neck. That old fucker wants his partner?? Is he actually serious?

"Haha! That's fucking rich! You've gotta be at least one-hundred by now, huh? Fuck off, geezer! They're not yours!"

Kakuzu

Clearly decapitating Hidan over and over doesn't make him talk any less. Neither does stabbing him-- but it sure does take the edge off. Kakuzu would rather not deal with the younger man's insufferable stubbornness. You are his lover, his alone, and Hidan had no chance in whatever the fuck kind of afterlife his mighty lord Jashin provides. None. Fuck off, Hidan.

"As if they'd want someone as lowly as you. You don't even pay for your own shit. Remember your place or I won't hesitate to remove you from this world permanently. One swipe and your head will be freed from your miserable shoulders. I'm sure all sorts of insects would love to burrow inside of that hollow space."

Itachi

For a moment he's reminded of Sasuke's little schoolboy crush on you, except Kisame isn't Sasuke. He is a grown adult capable of getting in the way of Itachi's livelihood. Threatening the sanctity of his relationship. He's unlikely to do much other than step in if he crosses any boundaries or makes you uncomfortable. So until something is said, it's just this weird, heavy atmosphere. Kisame starts to speak but Itachi cuts him off immediately.

"Keep their name out of your mouth, Kisame. I won't warn you again."

Kisame

Oftentimes he wonders how lonely Itachi is. He annihilated his entire clan save for his younger brother in a single night. He took away everything he loved and for what? He can appreciate Itachi's past but Kisame doesn't take too kindly to the eldest Uchiha brother being a bit too welcoming and protective of his partner.

"Itachi, a word of advice. Don't shit where you eat. And keep your nose out of other's relationships. You're a good, respectable man and I appreciate your concern in my partner's well-being. Let me handle it from here."

Sasori

There's still the age-old artistic view difference between the two: eternal art vs shortlived art. One could argue both have their merits, but even after all these years it was a sore subject between the blonde and redhead duo. And now you were thrown into the mix.

"If you truly think you're so superior to me, Deidara, then perhaps you'd be more open to what a waste your art truly is. My partner prefers eternal, long-lasting, but there's nothing long nor lasting about, is there?"

Deidara

This was great. Jusssst great. Sasori had been hanging around his area of the hideout more and for what, Deidara wasn't sure. Until he recalled that you had been given special permission to visit from Pain himself. You'd forsaken your village long ago and clearly had no interest in reporting them, so it was allowed. Sasori had begun skulking about ever since and the blonde could guess why he might be drawn to you.

"If you even think about turning my partner into a fuckin' puppet, I won't hesitate to kill you, Sasori. No matter which way I go about it, you'll end up in splinters. So, I repeat. Stay the fuck away from them, hmm."

|| ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ, ʀᴇᴜꜱᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴇᴅɪᴛ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ɪɴ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴀʏ! ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ꜱɪᴛᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴘᴏꜱᴛ. ᴀʟʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜰᴜʟ ᴏᴡɴᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ © ᴄʜᴇʀᴜʙꜰᴀᴇ 2024 ||

[animeyanderetalker]

Yandere: You look good in that hoodie.

S/O: You know where else I'd look good?

Yandere, zero hesitation: My bed.

S/O, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

What kinda yandere can you see do this? 😂

I basically browsed through some fandoms I write for quickly in my mind and wrote down whoever popped up in my mind first so I probably missed quite a few characters who could have gone on this list. I'd like to say that this answer can fit people on this list you may not expect to see here if we just change the tone of voice and the facial expressions they use whilst giving this answer. You may for example have the classic person who just teases you with that suggestive grin, loving the way they catch you off-guard with their more dirty-minded answer. You may have the simp who sputters the answer out without even fully thinking about it as their excitement gets the better of them. Maybe even someone whose answer catches you off-guard because you did not think they were that kind of person. The ones who say it so nonchalantly as if they have done this before or the ones who take this question dead serious without realising that you meant to tease them in the first place and bluntly give you an honest answer with a stoic expression. Those are all factors I calculated whilst choosing all those people. You may guess which person fits which option:

Naruto: Hidan, Itachi, Kakashi, Madara, Izuna

Black Butler: Sebastian, Grell, Edgar Redmond

Hunter x Hunter: Chrollo, Shalnark, Uvogin, Hisoka, Shaiapouf, Meruem

My Hero Acadamia: Dabi, Hawks, Toga, Denki

Diabolic Lovers: Shu, Laito, Kou, Shin

Haikyuu!!: Nishinoya, Tanaka, Ukai, Saiko, Kuroo, Oikawa, Kunimi, Futakuchi,Ushijima, Atsumu, Bokuto

Knb: Aomine, Kiae, Izuki, Takao, Imayoshi, Mibuchi, Hanamiya

Fairy Tail: Gajeel, Laxus, Loki, Cobra, Hibiki, Sting

Bungo Stray Dogs: Dazai, Yosano, Mori, Chuuya, Fitzgerald, Mark Twain

Assassination Classroom: Karma, Irina, Maehara, Ren, Gakushu

Seven Deadly Sins: Meliodas, Ban, Derieri, Moonspeet

Kny: Iguro, Rengoku, Tengen, Yushiro, Douma, Daki, Enmu

Jjba: Dio, Caesar, Joseph, DIO, Mariah, Rohan, Mista, Squalo & Tizzano, Risotto, Prosciutto, Melone, Jolyne, Ermes, Anasui,

One Piece: Sanji, Robin, Franky, Shanks, Kid, Ace

Marvel: Deadpool, Wolverine (as portrayed in the first 3 X-Men movies), Tony Stark, Loki, Peter Quill, Hawkeye, Havok, Quicksilver

[dolliestfairy]

𝑂𝑜𝑝𝑠.. 👀 𓏲๋ ⊹ ֢

jjk, Genshin Impact, Naruto, & Haikyuu Men's react when they got caught in the act while fuck*ng with you ᰔᩚ ‌ིᨴּ ˒˒۪

ೀ𔓘 Tw : Smut, Public S*x, teasing, degradations, mocking. and maybe some misspelled words. lmk if i miss anything! ᰔᩚ Chubby reader fanfictions with no skintone of reader mentioned.

ೀ𔓘 Notes from Author ; tyvm for the long break. my head is like out of an ideas so i have to sort some things out to have an ideas again. and luckily and hopely from now on my heads will be full of these ideas lolol :3 ‌ིᨴּ ˒˒۪

꒰͡⠀Mdni

They Got Embarrased! This type of mens are a Huuuge shy bean! they got pretty embarrased when they got caught wet in you. wether the ones who peeks within it are his friends, his family, or even a stranger.. he still got sooo embarrased! you have to reassure him that everything is fine or later on he will get pretty embarrased that he want you to stop the deed for a moment 😭 but dont hate him though.. he's just super shy and he doesnt know how to handle it.. espesially if its his first time getting caught in the act.

( jjk ) ᰔᩚ Yuuji, YUUTA, Choso ( genshin impact ) ᰔᩚ AETHER, venti, KAZUHA, al-haitam ( naruto ) ᰔᩚ ROCK LEE, sasori, Yamato Sensei, minato ( Haikyuu ) ᰔᩚ Hinata, SUGAWARA, Akiteru Tsukishima, Akaashi, KOZUME KENMA, YAMAGUCHI.

They got a Little.. embarrased.. but Still continue anyway. these type of men will probably gonna stop for a second. its like when he pound into you and someones coming in but after that person sees you both during those things they immediately go out of the room, he's gonna have to proceed some things. its like he's... out of the server. but not even 1 minutes later he's already back and then he just like immediately grabbing you and then pound you Twice harder than before while saying some real real weird and nasty stuff.

( Jujutsu Kaisen ) ᰔᩚ MEGUMI, Geto, Nanami ( Genshin impact ) ᰔᩚ DILUC, XIAO, Ayato, ALBEDO, Zhongli ( Naruto ) ᰔᩚ Kakashi, NEJI, SHIKAMARU ( Haikyuu ) ᰔᩚ TSUKISHIMA KEI, SEMI EITA, Lev Haiba, MIYA TWINS, Kageyama.

THEY DOESNT GAVE A FUCK! what do you expect? do you think some buds or some strangers walking into the rooms will stop him from pounding your big ass hips? No! aint no fucking way. he'll gave whoever that person is some real fucking performance. wether they like it or not. And when that person wants to walk out of that room, he'll be quick enough to saying things like "hey buds! you dont want to check this out?! come see me tame my woman! i'll gave you some stuff to watch!" and others.. i know he's sound like a real Nuts, but.. thats who he is. you'll probably cant complain to him anyway since his excitedment will sped up the pace of his pounding, that'll make it the end of you. and just hope that he'll be merciful enough to not suffocate you with his teasing later on.

( jjk ) ᰔᩚ Toji, GOJO, SUKUNA, MAHITO ( Genshin impact ) ᰔᩚ Itto, SCARAMOUCHE, CHILDE, Kaeya ( Naruto ) ᰔᩚ Madara, OBITO, Sasuke, Kiba, NARUTO HIMSELF, HIDAN ( Haikyuu ) ᰔᩚ KUROO, Bokuto, KYOUTANI, Oikawa, TENDOU, TERUSHIMA.

DID I FORGET ANYONE? INSERT UR FAV!

[thevirtualvalentine]

— ☁︎ AKATSUKI REACTION TO YOUR ‘AKATSUKI THEMED’ BONNET :

content warnings: fluff, kinky/curly haired!reader, established relationships, crack but written in character(ish), hidan being hidan, dreadhead!tobi, they love you and your natural hair. 🖤

authors note: extremely self indulgent headcannons I’ve been sitting on because I think this would be hilarious.

Inspired by my bonnet:

DEIDARA

Deidara takes exceptionally good care of his hair, it’s something the two of you bonded over together in the hideout. He watches you do your wash days and then lets you slink into his room after to hangout, but today you got a new bonnet.

“Now that is a work of art,” he laughs watching you make your way to the bed. Usually, your bonnets are in one solid color but today… it’s black with red clouds, like his cloak. “Where’d you get a thing like that.”

Obviously, he had to get one himself so that you can match. “Baby, don’t gatekeep,” he begged and pleaded. On the upside, his hair is softer and silkier than ever and you’re beginning to envy his inches of 613 hair.

HIDAN

Hidan, bless his heart, does not understand hair care. When you first started seeing each other he did not know what a bonnet was for. But, once he learned he started buying you ones that he thought were cute. Pink ones, purple ones, ones with ties so you could make a bow.

“I ain’t ever seen no akatsuki bonnet,” he remarks watching you strut around the living room in your new item. “It’s cute bunny, real cute.” He can’t explain it, but this strokes his pride 10 fold seeing you in his paraphernalia. Safe to say this one became his favorite.

He did, however, also have one special made with Lord Jashins symbols too.

ITACHI

Itachi is a kind lover, therefore he does most of your hair care for you. Since being with him, wash day have never been a hassle. Braid outs, wash n go’s, cornrows galore that boy knows what to do.

That’s why when you’ve come to bed tonight you decide to surprise him. “What’d ya think?” You say while scooting closer to your lover under the covers. He’s also freshly showered, skin still damp as he lazily props himself up with an arm.

He toys with the elastic by dragging his finger along the perimeter, his sultry eyelashes batting as he looks you over. “I like it,” And he means it, but he already knows he’s going to get you one with the Uchiha insignia instead.

KONAN

Similarly to Itachi, Konan knows what the fucks going on. Queen of detangles and leave in conditioners, she gets you right and takes pride in being helpful to you. So, you thought you’d pay your girlfriend back with an homage to her organization that seemingly has profound meaning to her.

It’s late and you know she’s a bit stressed as of recent, so as you both get ready for bed in your shared bathroom you put on your new bonnet. She almost chokes on her toothbrush in shock!

“Oh baby I love it! Where did you even get something like that. It suits you so well,” she dotes with toothpaste still on the sides of her mouth. It puts a smile on her face whenever you wear it.

KAKUZU

The truest idgaf-er, says not a lick the day you wear it around him. Honestly he doesn’t know how feels about it, a stupid investment really. That you’d spend, most likely, his money on a such a trivial thing [eyeroll emoji].

Whatever. It’s.. nice. But, don’t expect him to compliment you. “Kakuzu, you haven’t said anything bout my new bonnet,” you pout while trying to curl up next to him like a cat on the sofa.

He pauses trying to find his words, “you look like a walking target.” When he sees the expression of joy fall from your face he knows he messed up. “But it’s a sweet gesture, little one.” He slots his arm on your waist rubbing the expanse of your smooth skin with his rough hand. It makes you heat up a bit. He’s a sweetie when he wants to be.

SASORI

Your boyfriend is annoying, but you happen to like him like that. The times when he is out of Hiruko in the safety of the compound, he likes to touch you even if he can’t feel it. He’s possessive over you, he knows how beautiful you are, your hair being only the crown of your beauty. He’ll curl strands of it around his wooden fingers as you talk — he isn’t the biggest help to maintaining it, wood body and all — more-so an appreciator of the art that is you.

You decide that you’ll annoy him back, buying a bonnet that matches his robe for work. “Are you serious? I wanted to play with your hair but you come in with that,” he pinches the veneer of his nose bridge in an exaggerated sigh. “You’re ridiculous. Come here, now.”

Sasori may act like he doesn’t like it, but it’s clear from the way he smirks as you lounge with him that he is a fan. “Such novelty,” he says while planting kisses on your forehead.

TOBI

Babe, he already had one. “Does that mean you wanted to match with lil ol’ me!!” He jumps around your shared room popping in and out of reality as you chase him around. What started as a coalition of curly heads in the akatsuki has blossomed into a fruitful relationship between you and he.

“Tobi you big jerk! I wanted to surprise you,” he looks utterly ridiculous in a matching robe and bonnet right now. You’re unable to catch him from how hard you’re laughing at him while he taunts you. Once you finally get your hands on the slippery bastard, it’s time for a wash day (together of course).

“How’d you even get this Tobi, I had to get mines special made,” you say as you scrub his scalp of any buildup with your nails. “A magician never reveals his secrets y/n-chan~~” he winks in your direction.

“Shut up or I’m charging you for a retwist.” He was quickly silenced.

[reallyromealone]

Title: healer

Fandom: naruto

Characters: akatsuki

Fic type: omegaverse

Pairings:

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, omegaverse, readers smart

Notes:

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

(Name) Hummed quietly to themselves while carefully wrapping gauze around the alphas midsection that they had just stitched up. Handing was a cleaned akatsuki uniform, stitched and sewn back up like new, (name) didn't really know what the uniform symbolised but it was clearly important and they wouldn't want the unconscious man to worry about it.

(Name) Lived alone in these woods, the ability to heal the worst of wounds and this one was no different.

"No clue what fight you got yourself into but you sure made it out barely...." (Name) Joked to the unconscious person while finishing up 'no clue when they will wake up.... Should probably make dinner...' (name) thought while going to their small kitchen to make a meal, enough for two people... Just in case.

Itachi woke to the smell of an Omega and stew, sitting up with a groan and looking to see he was bandaged up... Quite well actually.

"Don't sit up too fast! You could pop a stitch!" A voice called from the other room and Itachi looked for his belongings to find them neatly beside him and his coat hung and fixed. An Omega walked into the room with a tray, a bowl and a glass filled with what was assumed to be juice "you were out for a while! Didn't know when you would wake up.." (name) chuckled nervously while setting the tray on the coffee table "how do you feel? You were pretty messed up ... My healing could only do so much so I had to do the rest manually"

Itachi just stared at the other who smiled happily before a look of realization crossed them 'must realize who I am affiliated wi--' "I forgot to introduce myself! I'm (name)!" The Omega bowed slightly before looking up sheepishly, Itachi sat there stunned before getting up "thank you for your assistance" he said simply while grabbing his belongings, (name) looking concerned "do you have anyone to call? I have a telephone..." It was an old one, nothing like the the newer cell phones but it did it's job!

"That won't be needed"

"Well... Here! Take this!" (Name) Rushed out into the kitchen and returned with origini, wrapped and all cute "I keep these on hand for snacks... Please keep safe"

Why was this Omega so kind? To someone they didn't know?

Itachi didn't know what to make of it but decided to just leave, rice ball in hand.

"This is real good! Where did ya get this?" Deidara asked while finishing the rice ball, Itachi resting with a sigh "some Omega who healed me" he grumbled and hidan raised an eyebrow "an Omega did that? What some high ranking ninja?"

"No, just some Omega in the woods"

"Whoever that Omega was, they have healing abilities like nothing I ever seen..." The older man said simply while glancing at the others exposed stitches, he saw how fucked up the other alpha looked, that omega was powerful.

"Hm?" (Name) Was reading some books they got from town a a couple kilometers from the woods they resided in when a knock at the door pulled them out from their world of imagination. Walking to the door, they weren't expecting to see that alpha again or others dressed like him "oh you're back! You forget anything?" (Name) Asked curiously and glanced at their mid section "you left before I could give you cream to help... Hopefully it healed nicely!"

"This is the Omega that healed you? This is them?" Deidara laughed in disbelief while (name) looked confused, a large group of alphas coming and just laughing, then konan felt it...

The omegas Chakra.

"We require your assistance, one of our members is gravely injured" she lied, (name) looking concerned "sure! Let me get my bag!" The alphas stepped in while (name) went to their room to go grab their belongings.

But (name) knew better than to trust a large group of alphas even if they were incredibly attractive.

So they used what they were taught by their grandpa and slipped out, a secret door in their closet.

'nope, not today' (name) thought while they sneaked away.

Knowing a few Jitsu really helped in a punch....

[tozettastone]

So… akatsuki ranked by hugging capabilities when?

Okay. That's a good one. I'll answer that one.

--

10. Zetsu

Zetsu doesn't know what's happening and he might digest you. I would say he does not have hugging capabilities.

9. Kakuzu

Absolutely not. This man trusted someone one time to try it out and he has looked upon that moment with profound regret ever since. He does not do well with physical affection.

Do not hug Kakuzu. Do not make physical contact with Kakuzu. Honestly, if at all possible, do not even make eye contact with Kakuzu.

8. Konan

Konan is as distant as a statue until she has committed herself to a goal. She disdains most social bonds, and I don't think she hugs often even among people she regards as close. I think she is wary of obligation because she takes obligations very seriously. If someone takes comfort from her, what will they want next?

She will offer an arm to Nagato on a bad day, but he usually refuses anyway. Extremely low hugging capabilities.

7. Nagato

Nagato would certainly benefit from hugging but I see no indication that his hugging capabilities are especially developed. Besides, he's kind of immobilised, and the animated corpses he's piloting aren't exactly comfortable participants.

I think he and Konan were both much, much better at this before Yahiko's death. Very low hugging capabilities.

6. Tobi

Tobi is absolutely 100% capable of hugging properly. He scores highly in hugging capability. Technically. But, one, I think you will not be very good at actually landing a hug on this man. And, two, if you do, he's dissociating because he can't confront other people's positive regard for him, and your body is so much meat to him.

On the balance of probabilities, this is more likely safe to attempt than not. Tobi is more amused by making fun of people than killing them for touching him. But I just don't think hugging Tobi is, like, very productive.

5. Sasori

This one's interesting, because Sasori has actually practiced hugging — with his parents' corpses, right? As with all skills, practice helps you perform better! But I don't think Sasori has a very good relationship with his own body and I don't think he views other people as particularly more agential than the dead bodies.

So I'm ranking him somewhere in the middle: no natural hugging gifts, some practice, very little inclination to participate. Don't hug Sasori, because if you get that close at all, something is already very wrong.

4. Deidara

Deidara appears to be among the most socially normative of this cohort. I imagine he has, at some point, had at least one affectionate kohai among the Rock ninja he left behind. However, as an adult (uh, as a... teen over the age of ninja majority, anyway) Deidara appears highly suspicious of people attempting to initiate contact with him.

Moderate hugging capabilities, but if he thinks you're tricking him or you're being too familiar for the strictly defined relationship category you occupy in Deidara's head, you're going to be rebuffed. It won't be fatal... the first time.

3. Hidan

Hidan is an athletic guy who's used to feeling what other people are feeling and getting up close and personal with their physical experiences of their bodies. I really think Hidan is among the better huggers in this cohort. Capabilities genuinely pretty strong.

That said, hugging Hidan is a gamble. Either you get a bone-creaking squeeze from someone who is tall, warm, and has absolutely no issues with physical contact, or you end up dead. You would be rolling the dice on this one. Remember: eventually, the house always wins.

2. Kisame

Kisame does not have a lot of practice at exercising his hugging capabilities. Most people don't look at a giant shark man with a face full of razor sharp teeth and a sword as big as a teenager and think, 'ah, yes, a perfect source of physical affection.'

But I think as long as you don't startle him with any sudden movements he will respond to being hugged by very carefully lowering his arm over his hugging buddy's shoulders. It's weird but he's not mad. Pretty safe option.

1. Itachi

Itachi is not great at hugging but people who receive Itachi hugs are so impressed that they hardly notice. Also, it's pretty safe to hug Itachi: the worst outcome is that you discover you're hugging an illusion and feel mildly humiliated while everyone is impressed you even attempted such a feat.

He ranks this highly because I sincerely believe that as a big brother, he has attempted to hug at least one other (live) human being before. Sasuke might not have been old enough to remember it, but he's done it successfully and nobody died.