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theminecraftbee · 2 years

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Skizz slams the door open. "Am I late? Guys, am I late?"

"Relax, relax," says Impulse. "Grian still hasn't actually started yet, so like -"

"Oh, thank goodness. I wanted to put six diamonds down on 'soulenemies'," Skizz says, slumping into a couch in the corner of a coffee shop he definitely, definitely isn't supposed to have been able to get into. It's just, like, if Grian gets to open a ridiculous rift in reality, there's nothing stopping the rest of them, right?

"Okay!" Scar says, brightly. "That's long-shot odds you know. 'We don't get to know how many lives we have' currently has the most diamonds on it, you know."

"Yeah, Grian's not that boring," Skizz says, as Scar marks it down on the chart. To the side, Martyn snorts. "If he were gonna do that, he'd do some other twist too."

"I wanted to bet for reverse life but Impulse wouldn't let me," Pearl says.

"Pearl, I'm not letting you waste your diamonds on 'the guy who dies the most wins'."

"Jimmy deserves the win!" Pearl says.

"Yeah, that's why Grian wouldn't do it."

Martyn snorts and takes a sip of a drink. Skizz squints. He's... pretty sure that's actually just milk. He's not sure why Martyn is drinking it like it's wine or something, but like, sure.

"I still say 'we're doing it underwater' this time," Martyn adds.

"Can you do that? Tango, you're technically an admin, right?" Impulse asks.

"Uhhhhh.... I don't know," Tango says, shrugging. "I think we'd drown."

"Underwater, but we don't drown. We can test it," Martyn says. "The pool is mine."

"Long odds," Scar says.

"Listen. If you all insist on using MY COFFEE SHOP for these - these illegal activities," Bdubs starts.

"Awww, Bubbles," Etho says.

"Y - You don't get to try to sweeten me up!" Bdubs says. "If you're using my coffee shop, you'll keep it down, so -"

Cleo comes barreling down from outside. "Grian's in the shopping district," she says, deceptively calm.

"SCATTER!" Impulse says, not calm at all.

Scar flips the betting board over. Someone jumps out a window. Before Skizz can figure out what to do, he and Martyn are shoved under a table on top of each other.

"Take me out to dinner first," Martyn says.

"Come on man," Skizz says, and then the door opens.

There's a long silence. Then, Skizz hears Grian speak.

"You know, I'm not an idiot. I know when you're hiding stuff from me. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Whatever prank you're planning? I will have both eyes open. Doc's been throwing creepers at me! I'm ready!"

Another silence.

"Yeah, okay, sure," Bdubs says.

"Why did you say that so suspiciously," Grian says.

"Oh, yeah, actually, Grian, what's your opinion on elytras?"

"...Bdubs, you've been on the same server as me for how many years?" Grian says, baffled.

"Just wondering! Have, uh, have..."

"You know what? I'm not asking," Grian says, and it's silent for a bit before there's a shuffling and Skizz is pulled out from under the table.

"Sorry about that, precautions, you know? It's not fair if he sees what we're betting on, then he won't do it," Scar says. "Anyway. You know, Bdubs, your theory that we're doing it this time with wings? Good theory, good theory! I see potential in that. It is easy to forget how much that man likes his wings. Looking far more promising! Any takers?"

"That would be the worst to fight with and I don't think he'd do it," Cleo says, and the conversation begins again.

#double life smp #third life smp #last life smp #<- will replace with a more appropriate tag when it exists #a bee fic #not. tagging all the characters. there are too many of them #anyway after doing the two more meta/emotional/angsty versions of this here's the goofy version

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good-chimes · 2 years

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In honor of Life series four, Life Series Bake Off AU

NEW SERIES LAUNCHES:

Nation charmed by fresh crop of 12 amateur bakers including intensely competitive student GRIAN, ambitious cake artists BDUBS and SCAR, scientific bread experts TANGO and IMPULSE, and ETHO who has no discernible social media presence and, rumor has it, doesn’t officially exist. Married couple JOEL and LIZZIE raise eyebrows—will they be able to compete against each other?—but this is settled when Lizzie immediately announces she would murder Joel in real life to win and has bought the kitchen knife set for it, and Joel lovingly declares he keeps an axe under his pillow in case this happens.

The judges as usual are renowned cake chef PEARL, bread expert MUMBO, and our two inimitable presenters: BIGB, beloved by the nation for his gentle reassurances of weeping contestants, and MARTYN whose main contribution is his trademark eyebrow waggles as we find out from the judges who’s in trouble this week.

TART WEEK (1)

Tart week gets off to a strong start, with contestant REN charming both the judges and Martyn with his exquisite tarte au citron and his total inability to let a double-entendre go to waste (‘I’m just a tart triumph all over’ he proclaims, to Martyn’s immediate delighted riposte ‘Mm, but what do you do on the weekends?’). Law student JIMMY is not so lucky when a misreading of the recipe leads to ten times the correct amount of butter and a catastrophic oven meltdown. Star baker goes to early favorite BDUBS for an exquisite three-tier tart showstopper.

Week one elimination is, of course, the hapless Jimmy, and the recaps are united on two fronts: it's always nice to see someone on the show who reminds you of your own midnight experiments, but holy shit Jimmy, did it not give you a clue when the melted butter started pouring out of the oven like you’d stabbed the spirit of margarine to death in there. Jimmy's butter meltdown becomes a meme and he sells T-shirts; Joel immediately posts a picture wearing one.

CAKE WEEK (2)

Week two brings cake week and an impressive performance from SCAR, who embarks on a showstopper Baked Alaska in the shape of a snow-covered mountain. Tranquil in the face of GRIAN’S constant disparaging comments about his whisking technique and browned meringue, Scar perseveres and is crowned star baker for the week, while Twitter immediately declares Grian the villain of the season. A contingent of viewers theorising ‘could this be flirting’ are swiftly shouted down on social media and retreat to a dedicated subthread on a cookery forum.

Last week’s star baker BDUBS seems distracted by his new-found friendships with the quiet ETHO, who spends hours on the surprisingly unambitious Victoria Sponge. A conspiracy theory emerges that Etho invented the Victoria Sponge, refuted by weak counterarguments like “cannot possibly be true” and “he would have to be several hundred years old.” Meanwhile the nation is won over by JOEL and LIZZIE’S chemistry as they trade quips and spatulas, unfortunately Joel is eliminated after a jam mishap, at which he declares “at least I went out after Jimmy.”

TEA-TIME WEEK (3)

Tea-time week brings florentines and shortbread, but it’s a sad week for love as REN is out after his overambitious scones fail to impress. “I’m heartbroken,” Martyn announces, and cannot be consoled even by Scott’s superb showstopper petite-fours. Ren was a good sport to the end, everyone agrees. Ren spotted at a Covent Garden coffee shop with Martyn three weeks later.

HALLOWEEN WEEK (4)

The mood is jovial for Halloween week, with judge MUMBO in fake vampire fangs while ETHO bakes cookies in the form of anatomically correct skulls. LIZZIE starts off with adorable witch-hat cupcakes in little witch hats, then spends the rest of the episode precisely and effortlessly crafting a blood red mirror glazed sachertorte which the presenters refuse to look at because it “makes them uncomfortable”, and is subsequently awarded star baker for the most genuine aura of threat ever achieved by a cake.

Meanwhile GRIAN and SCAR continue to genially snipe at each other throughout. TANGO asks BDUBS to turn his oven off at a crucial moment; unfortunately Bdubs forgets and then blames Tango for relying on him, leading to the charred mess of Tango’s showstopper and a social media uproar dubbed “OvenGate”. Bdubs alternately sorrowful and dramatically dismissive. This cruel betrayal knocks Tango out of the tent; a public petition is started for his reinstatement.

WEDDING WEEK (5)

Puppet theater designer CLEO has her star turn in wedding week with ranks of beautiful marzipan figurines on all her bakes. An intense rivalry develops between her and wedding-enthusiast BDUBS, who declares his magnificent fondant confection a dry run for his impending marriage to ETHO, a stranger he met ten days ago. When asked by presenters how much of this is a joke, Etho laughs and says “I guess?”, which leaves the nation none the wiser. Unfortunately IMPULSE’S canapes are considered uninspired and he is uninvited from both the wedding reception and the series.

BREAD WEEK (6)

The feared bread week comes around and all the artistic cake-makers wobble badly. SCAR and GRIAN just scrape through, but CLEO’S triumph last week turns to tragedy despite the trouble she has gone to to model a realistic centaur out of sourdough. Bdubs makes an impromptu speech to camera about how she was robbed but he intends to triumph in her honor.

MEDIEVAL WEEK (7)

The experimental medieval week takes the bakers on an outdoor camping trip where they will attempt to build their own stoves and use them to replicate historical bread techniques. BDUBS’S enthusiasm for this and his drive to impress ETHO turn out to be his downfall as, distracted, he builds a stove that bleeds heat and fails to brown his bread. Etho meanwhile excels at both the survival and breadmaking aspects, leading to a divide on Twitter on whether this level of competence is hot or just very concerning, potentially the cake equivalent of a serial killer. The Victoria Sponge theory is raised again. Etho alleviates some concerns by getting lost three times in an open field over the course of the episode, which loses him enough baking time that dark horse SCOTT pips him to the post of star baker.

WINTER WARMTH WEEK (8)

Week eight arrives and five bakers remain: LIZZIE and SCOTT are known to be good all-rounders, ETHO is the reigning technical expert, SCAR remains the favorite on the cakes side, and GRIAN is mainly known for his habit of constantly sneaking spoonfuls of Scar’s cake mix so he can mock the taste. Social media opinion is divided into “Grian is a good baker actually”, “Grian is only still in because of executive meddling”, and the small but determined contingent of “no guys we really think they’re flirting??” who have emerged from their cookery subthread unbowed and with compilations of video evidence.

The set gets cozy with winter warmth week. Brandy-based showstoppers are the order of the day, and LIZZIE wins the episode by crafting a biscuit unicorn with a mane you can set on fire. ETHO invents an intricate brandy plumbing system to shoot flaming alcohol above his plum pudding—this attempt is in fact a good deal too successful and instead sets MARTYN’S hair on fire. GRIAN comes to his aid but ends up adding more brandy. Judge PEARL extinguishes the flames with a bowl of cinnamon milk. The judges are clearly not feeling merciful when it comes to the scores and Etho’s run comes to a premature end.

DOUBLES WEEK (9)

Some old favorites return for doubles week, where each of the remaining four bakers is helped out by an eliminated contestant on the other end of the phone. GRIAN for once assesses the limits of his own talents and asks to pair up with ETHO, a plan that immediately pays off when the contestants are challenged with a tricky technical that sees them baking the perfect pumpernickel bread. SCAR, having asked to pair up with BDUBS, is quickly underwater as neither of them understand yeast.

Scar’s floundering proves too much for Grian, who belligerently passes along his pumpernickel tips from Etho, saving Scar’s technical enough for him to scrape through. When challenged by Martyn, Grian grudgingly admits, “I just want Scar to stay in, okay?” Some recaps clear him of his villain status; others are still convinced it’s a fluke.

Meanwhile SCOTT turns in an efficient technical with help from CLEO and also JIMMY, who is apparently sitting in Cleo’s living room just to heckle Scott. LIZZIE calls on husband JOEL, but a combination of overconfidence and flirting distracts them both, leading to a burnt crust and Lizzie’s elimination from the final four.

MERINGUE WEEK (Final Episode)

In the finale, SCOTT, SCAR, and GRIAN face off over a series of escalating meringue-based challenges. Whatever alliance sprung up between Grian and Scar in the last episode is clearly water under the bridge as the two of them obsessively steal each other’s ingredients and annoy each other into trivial mistakes. This escalates into a noisy quarrel over the main challenge of the week: an edible diorama of a cactus ring. Scar’s attempts to ‘aesthetically correct’ Grian’s mountain diorama leads to Grian melting his sugar-spun cacti with a crème brulée torch.

The two are no longer speaking by the showstopper, where Grian embarks on a desperate attempt to make up points with an ambitious trifle in a castle-shaped wall of macarons while Scar builds his own grand macaron diorama. The clock ticks down. Scott is creating an impeccable strawberry pavlova. The trifle is going badly. Grian is covered in sugar and regret. BigB pats him reassuringly on the shoulder.

At the last moment, Scar sacrifices half his perfect macarons to donate to Grian’s diorama. Grian, for once lost for words, grabs his apron and kisses him right in front of Martyn’s swiftly-derailed countdown. “Grian had a beautiful artistic vision,” Scar says sentimentally afterwards. “You have to respect the craft!” They snog behind the tasting table. Mumbo gamely attempts to award points. Pearl in a laughing fit behind the cameras. Martyn and BigB solemnly wrap up the shot with Martyn’s best cake-based innuendoes. Grian and Scar do not notice.

Scott wins the series. He got so many more points on the cactus ring technical.

#ethubs #treebark #scarian #zombiecleo #jimmy solidarity #i'm scared to use scott's tag he's on here #for blocking ->#traffic shipping

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hmshermitcraft · 4 months

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Etho has been out of spoons for months now. He has no energy to do anything at all outside of working (because he has to) or eating (because he has to) or showering (because he has to) or using the bathroom (because he has to). He wants to hang out with his friends, he yearns for their conversation and bickering and their energetic bits but he can't. He just rests and rests and rests, waiting for the day he has inspiration and strength again.

He's so sick of being weak, of being tired. There's no joy in his endless napping, he just can't do anything else.

Cleo leaves food in his fridge and takes his trash out and refills his water bottle so he can take his meds at night.

Bdubs comes in every other day to brush his hair and brings him a bucket so he can brush his teeth.

The worst thing is that he gets up every morning, he works on his projects, he talks to people, he's normal, he's healthy. But then the moment he can relax he collapses and can't get up again. He uses all his energy and he can't go on. Which doesn't make any sense because why can't he have energy for the things he wants?

He's just...so tired.

Xisuma catches him while he's out and about, doing things. Says, "hey, you've been working too hard and it's making you use all your free time to catch up on rest." He takes Etho to a town an hour away from work, from everything. "This is my parents summer home, they won't be back for like, nine months. So it's yours for now, utilities n' stuff are paid so don't worry about that."

Then he offers to leave. Says that he'll stay close-ish to bring Etho food and all, but he offers to give Etho as much alone time as he could ever want.

"I know you like your own company better than anyone else's and I prefer to recoup by myself too so it's no worries."

"no uh, actually. If you would stay..that'd be preferable I think."

For the first days Etho sleeps and sleeps and sleeps, he wakes up, eats and uses the bathroom and then he sleeps again.

Then he migrates to the couch to listen to Xisuma knit or play guitar, then he's breaking out his noise cancelling headphones so he can watch X play doom until the early morning sunrise. Then he's asking to help with dinner, something that resets his progress a little bit he's quicker to bounce back.

Xisuma takes him for a little walk one week. Then two little walks, then they stop in at a coffee shop, then Etho sits in the shopping cart reading out the list. Their friends start to visit, Bdubs and Beef and Doc come for a night of super smash bros and Mario kart, Cleo comes over and plays some Zelda breath of the wild, zedaph tango skizz and impulse bring a board game he's never heard of before. Etho even gets to gossip in Japanese with Grian and Joel about everyone he's seen living here, like the dog walker who always has far too many dogs.

Then Xisuma miscalculates how long it will take a comforter to dry and asks to share Etho's space for a night. Which they do. Etho wakes with X's legs under his own because apparently Xisuma likes to rotate 90 degrees in his sleep.

Xisuma will never live it down, even as they continue to sleep side by side.

By the time Etho is yearning for something to do they've started cuddling, and by the time Xisuma deems him healthy enough to go back to work they're kissing a little.

Work is easier when he returns, he works four days a week instead of six. He has a boyfriend who leaves space for him to join in making dinner or going on little walks or whatever but never pressures him. He has extra energy to do things he enjoys.

He's not perfect, he still naps every day, still gets overwhelmed. But it's better.

He's doing better.

-carrie

He thought he'd find it frustrating to be cared for, like it's something he doesn't deserve. But, instead, it's a weight off his shoulders. It's not just him anymore. Xisuma is looking out for him as well, gently pulling Etho away when he's burning out again. His friends are there as well.

Etho isn't perfect. But he's got people there to stop him reaching so low again.

#hermitshipping #ask #etho tag #xisuma tag #ethosuma #carrie anon #mod 🎀

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oh-snapperss · 1 year

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so indebted to you for cuteguy etho god bless

just for u.... i give u the accidental beginning of a cute guy fic in my drafts. it's pure crack and unedited btw

words: 1169

warnings: none

has like one line of implied shipping lol

“Etho, Etho!” Bdubs waves frantically, as if the two were greeting each other after a long few weeks apart, rather than a single day.

“Oh, hey Bdubs!” Etho walks over, barely noticing when the door slams shut behind him. There’s plenty of other customers around, most wearing headphones and sitting at the tables, lost in their work. This morning, there’s no line, and Etho heaves a sigh of relief. He’d been up way too late, and he’s ready for a pick me up.

“Have you seen the news?” Bdubs asks as soon as he’s at the counter. Over by one of the cabinets, a muted television plays, showing a broken window at one of the museums. Etho tears his eyes from it quickly.

“Ah, you know me! I never do!”

“Someone broke into Cub’s museum last night!” Bdubs’ eyes are wide, gesturing at the TV anyways.

Etho blinks, pushing down his rising horror. “No way.” He doesn’t know…surely….

“Yes way!” Bdubs leaned in conspiratorially. “They say that the Cute Guy outfit was stolen!”

Etho’s grip on the strap of his backpack tightens. “That so?”

“Yeah! I mean, who would do that, right?” Bdubs pushed back from the counter. “You want your usual, right?”

“Yes please.” Etho draws out the ‘please’, as always. “Don’t forget the heavy whipping cream.”

“You know you’re the only reason I keep this in stock, right?” Bdubs rolls his eyes, bustling around the coffee shop. It’s a quaint place, smelling so strongly of coffee Etho is sure that he’ll be smelling it the rest of the day. Nonetheless, it was the best coffee shop in the whole city! Least, that was what Bdubs said. And if Etho ever said otherwise, he’d have his head gone by morning, probably.

“Ah, come on! Best part of the whole coffee!” Etho protests, flicking parts of his napkin at Bdubs whenever his back is turned.

“You’re disgu–stop flicking the napkin at me–you’re the worst! Don’t even know why I serve this to you, it’s gonna give you diabetes, you’re gonna die at the ripe age of however old you are, and then what’s ol’ Bdubs gonna do?” Throughout his ramble Bdubs flits around the coffeeshop, making Etho’s coffee regardless. It’s a simple enough order, just black coffee.

…okay, and just as much heavy whipping cream.

“I’m not gonna die! Takes a lot more than that to kill me!” Etho giggles, although he shifts from foot to foot. What does it take to kill him? He’s tempted to check and make sure his backpack is securely zipped up.

“It does not take a lot more to kill you.” Bdubs glares at him, sliding the cheap disposable cup across the counter towards him. “Four dollars.”

“Wh–it’s three-fifty!”

“Yeah, but I need financial compensation for when this kills you.�� Bdubs says smugly. “Pay up, sweetheart.”

Etho’s not blushing at the endearment. No sirree. He would never, especially since he’s ninety percent sure Bdubs calls everyone that.

“Etho?” Bdubs stares at him, unimpressed. “Just cause you’re my favorite customer doesn’t mean you get out of paying for your coffee.”

“Ohhh, favorite customer, you say?” Etho grins, all thoughts abandoned in favor of teasing. “If I’m your favorite customer, can I get a disco-”

“No.”

“Okay.” Etho laughs, and finally pulls his usual wad of cash from his pocket. “How much again?”

“Three fifty. Just like yesterday, and the day before, and the–”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Etho slides the money over, before hiking his backpack up his shoulder again. “Thanks, ‘dubs. See you around?”

Bdubs barely even glances at him. “Yeah, tomorrow.”

“Or maybe at the grocery store? Oh wait, you’re too short–”

“Get out!” Bdubs flicks another napkin at him. “You’re the worst!”

His grin says otherwise, and Etho matches it with his own clear out of the shop. Once out, though…

The streets are crowded, the sky overcast with light grey clouds. Shoot, he should have checked the weather before he left–if he gets stuck in a drizzle without a jacket, he’ll never hear the end of it from Scar, or Bdubs, or anyone else.

He walks down the street, glancing around. iBuy seems particularly busy, and so does False’s fashion shop. He slips through the crowd, trying not to bring too much attention to himself. It’s a miracle no one has noticed his routine yet–get coffee, walk down street, duck into the alleyway entirely non suspiciously, and slip in the back door to his new job at HotGuy HQ.

Insane, right?

The second he’s through the backdoor, the alarms go off, as usual. It’s a simple matter of yanking a wire from the alarm system to turn it off, and then he continues forward as normal.

“Scar?” He calls out, glancing around. The HQ is quiet today, not even a receptionist at the front desk.

“You mean Hot Guy?”

Etho spins around on his heel, to discover Scar standing at the top of the stairs. He’s fully decked out in his superhero outfit, each muscle outlined and complemented by his shirt.

“Scar, it’s just us. Do we really need to call each other–”

“Never call each other by real names, Cute Guy. You never know who could be listening.” Scar lowers his head, so that the light shining behind it outlines each impeccable feature in shadow perfectly. “Our identities… must be kept secret. Forever.”

“Ooookay.” Etho sighs. “Why’d you call me Cute Guy?”

The light behind Scar goes out, leaving Scar blinking at Etho in confusion. “Because that’s… who you are?”

“What do you mean by that…?” Etho stares back, horror swirling in his gut. “Sca-Hot Guy, I just did you a favor by breaking into that museum. I’m not becoming Cute Guy, that’s someone else’s job–”

“What do you mean?” Scar grins. “That was your final test! To prove your strength, your valor, your bravery!”

“I’m pretty sure those last two words mean the same thi-”

“Did you get it?” Scar descends the steps, his bow clutched desperately in one hand. “Have you succeeded?”

Etho sighs. When he’d signed up for Hot Guy lessons, he’d thought maybe it would help him pick up some flirting tips, not this! “Yes, S-Hot Guy, I got it.” He slings the backpack off his shoulder, tossing it to Scar without much fanfare. “I’m not wearing that.”

The bag is caught easily, although Etho doesn’t miss the look of horror when it’s thrown. “You can’t just throw the Cute Guy outfit!”

“Sorry.”

Scar ignores his apology, unzipping the bag eagerly. Each part of the costume is pulled out eagerly, before being dropped on the floor in favor of the next piece. Pink skirt, pink jacket, fishnet tights, pink crop top and are those cat ears?

Etho decides not to point out the irony of half the costume being tossed to the floor after being scolded for throwing the backpack. Besides, he really needs to head on out anyways, he’s running late for work at the redstone department of iBuy–

“Try it on.”

“What?”

#etho #ethoslab #goodtimeswithscar #bdubs #bdoubleo100 #hermitcraft #my fics #i have no excuse for this we don't need to talk about the fact i wrote another 1k that's unposted #ethubs #but barely

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kazisonline · 7 months

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My fresskall Hermit College AU, hermit clubs:

Basketball Team:

Iskall

False

Hypno

Wels

Jevin

Gem (Reserve)

Etho (Reserve)

Science club:

Zedaph

Impulse

Tango

Skizz

Cub

Mumbo

Doc

Drama club:

Ren

Martyn

Joe

Scar

Art club:

Pearl

Bdubs

Beef

Student council:

Xisuma

Ren (of course)

Cleo

Grian

No club, but works at a tea house / coffee shop after school:

Stress

Keralis

Big B

Bonus: Empires College basketball team:

Joel

Oli

fWhip

Pixl

Sausage

Shubble (reserve)

Jimmy (reserve)

I've been thinking A LOT about this au and oh god I'm so invested. You might disagree with some, honestly I don't know if I shouldn't switch Grian and Scar when it comes to their clubs, but for now it's gonna be like this :3

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iiyoshi · 4 months

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This is a one time thing only. But BOAT BOYS >>>

Eefo♡

Pairing : Smalletho(Joel x Etho) /r /p

Additional Tags : Eefo(lmao), coffeeshop-ish AU?, Hermitcraft, it's so weird because they're in-game but also not yk?, just the two of them being a mess and totally not obsessed with each other

"Eefo!"

Etho could only laugh as Joel was stuck behind the counter, helplessly trying to take his order.

"Alright, alright! Chill." He finally says, paying for his coffee.

The shop was relatively empty this morning, and given how most people were off traveling, the server was quite empty.

Etho grabs a seat, one where he can silently admire Joel from afar without being too obvious about it.

Surely, he wasn't the one obsessed. Joel was.

Right?

As the coffee machine chimed, Etho watched as Joel grabbed a paper cup and a marker, scribbling something.

"I'm the only one here, you know?" He gestures at the empty shop. "You don't have to write my name."

"I-I wasn't doing anything of the sort!" Joel stammered, quickly turning to pour Etho's drink in his cup. "Besides, you wouldn't have seen me unless you were staring. Obsessed much?"

"You're the one obsessed!" Etho quickly fired back.

Oh, how childish this silly game was between the two.

"Here. Your order, Eefo." Joel quickly places the cup on the counter and heads towards the back to do.. well, things.

Etho called out a quick "thank you" and left the shop, his coffee in his hand.

As the doorbell chimed once more, signaling Etho's departure, Joel finally poked his head out from the storage room and let out a sigh.

Had Etho realised any sooner instead of quickly running away to get out of the awkward situation, Joel might've died of embarrassment right then and there.

What was he thinking? Was that his attempt at being charming? Funny?

He sighs, grateful at the fact Etho hadn't realised or hadn't pointed it out; yet, disappointed Etho probably hadn't, and might not, realise.

Little did he know, Etho was stood right there outside the coffee shop, hand over his masked face, cup in the other, staring at the name Joel clearly had written -- Eefo♡

- × - × - × - × - × - × - × -

I'm sorry. I think I got a bit obsessed over these two. You could see this as platonic or romantic, personally I just think they're a cute duo and I couldn't help myself :cry:

Of course, both real human beings!! so I don't hope to make anyone, especially them, uncomfortable.

Thank you for reading <3 now let's go overanalyze Neck Kisses again

#boat boys #joel smallishbeans #hermitcraft smallishbeans #smallishbeans #smalletho #smallishbeans joel #ethoslab #hermitcraft etho #etho slab

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askthehcc · 1 month

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We know the staffs favorite drinks, but what about friends of the staff and the brits?

Skizz: Oh! Not to be too much of a fancy pants about it, but I'm quite the fan of a cappuccino, extra chocolate.

Tango: Pfft, don't let the working class hear you say that or they'll riot.

---

Martyn: Just a good old British cuppa' tea for me, thank you very much. None of that mocha-cino malarky for me.

Joel: Yeah, I just drink black coffee, obviously.

Lizzie: Mmm, okay, then why do you always order a caramel frappe whenever we go out?

Joel: SHUT UP, LIZZIE.

Joel: At least I'm not one of those weirdos that likes a strawberry matcha. Who adds strawberry to their matcha?

Lizzie: The woman who's about to become your ex-wife, it seems!

Joel: Lizzie! You can't keep holding our marriage hostage to get me to agree with you!

Lizzie: ...

Martyn: Yeah, but you know she can, don't you?

Joel: Well!

Joel: I wish she wouldn't!

---

Jimmy: Ever since Tango first made me that honeycomb mocha that time I came in too early for Grian's shift, it's basically all I can think about nowadays.

Scott: Oh, the honeycomb mocha is the all you can think about, is it?

Jimmy: Yeah, it is!

Scott: ...

Jimmy: What?

Jimmy: What's that face for?

Scott: What face? I only have the one face, Jimmy.

Jimmy: Scott, what are you–

Scott: For me, it's black coffee, the stronger the better.

Jimmy: Hey, nononono, don't you distract me with you and your caffeine problems, cause you know how I feel about that.

Jimmy: Which, by the way, I've been meaning to say– No, wait, Scott, wait, come back!

---

BigB: My favourite drink is whatever Mumbo's beautiful moustache makes me.

Mumbo: [pats BigB's shoulder]

---

Gem: I change with the seasons. Some days I'm all about the vanilla lattes, other days I just want something super sweet and chocolatey.

Gem: It's hard to pin down, to be honest.

Pearl: Except for pumpkin spiced latte season, though.

Gem: Oh, well yeah, I mean, come on Pearl.

Gem: You know I'm a pumpkin spice girlie through and through, it's just not available all year because someone in head office clearly hates me.

Pearl: In the head office of all coffee shops, you mean? Even The Hermit? The independent coffee shop where our friends work?

Gem: It's a conspiracy, Pearl!

Pearl: ...

Pearl: Well I won't drink anything weaker than a cortado, personally.

Gem: [slams hands on the table] A conspiracy, I tell you!

---

Etho: I'm kinda partial to a green smoothie.

Cub: I tend to have a flat white.

Etho: Cub! Don't you count as staff, though?

Cub: Yeah, but the interviewer forgot me last time.

Etho: Oh, snap, that's pretty rude.

Cub: Indeed it was, indeed it was.

---

Interviewer's note: ...Yeah that was my bad.

#ask the hcc #hcc skizz #hcc tango #hcc martyn #hcc jimmy #hcc bigb #hcc scott #hcc gem #hcc pearl #hcc cub #hcc etho #hcc joel #hcc lizzie

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days-until-burnout · 3 months

Text

Day 14 -

Characters - Etho/Joel Words - 1,822 Time - 60 mins Content - Coffee Shop AU | hurt/comfort

The day went from sunny to stormy in a matter of seconds, not that his day had been any better either way. It was bleak already, the rain just added another layer of suckiness to it.

Joel ran down the street, and practically burst through the door, freezing when he realized what he had done. He blushed, looking down and away from the startled eyes, turning around to close the door behind him, hearing the soft bell. He looked out the door window, cringed at how hard the rain was now, even though he could practically hear it over the quiet jazz playing in the background. He was soaked and he was mopey, and his day just continued to go downhill.

Without looking at anyone, and everyone else looking away in pity, he made his way to the counter. As he breathed in and out to even his ragged breathing, he picked up the smell of fresh coffee and the very subtle milk scent and some hints of baked goods. His stomach grumbled at the thought of food, his body shivered for warmth. Past Joel, who was seven in the morning Joel, was probably laughing at him for not having stayed in bed as he had wanted. But he had tried to be good, went to his classes, went to the library to get some work done, went to more classes, all the while ignoring his phone.

He went out of the flat because he wanted to feel functional, and because he just did not want to be in.

He tried to not think about it. Not like he did not have enough things to be sad about already.

“Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Joel looked up, finding that barista with that bleached platinum hair. He vaguely remembered his friends talking about him, praises more than anything, but he could not for the life of him pin a name to the face. Or, well, to the eyes, because of the mask covering the bottom of their face.

Their eyes met briefly, Joel swore to have caught a twinkle of mischief in them, then that could probably be chalked up to sleeplessness. His eyes flickered to the menu behind him, making a show to think what he wanted, though he already knew.

“Can I get a large hot chocolate?”

He hummed, pressing something into the screen, “Alright, one large hot chocolate. Would that be all?”

“Add a chicken salad sandwich, thanks.” Joel looked around the display of baked goods as he fished out his wallet, deciding against it for now. He was in no mood to joke, but he still tried to amuse himself, if anything to feel better about himself. He smiled, catching his eyes, “It’s my birthday. Got any discounts you can give me?”

The nameless barista paused, hand still on the screen, then resumed. “I’m afraid not. But there is a college discount if you have your ID?”

Joel showed his ID, the barista nodded.

“By the way, are you planning to stay long?”

Joel blinked, confused.

“Oh, I mean, to study. People tend to stay a couple hours to study and stuff. Got free wifi and it’s cozy too.”

Joel glanced at the time, then looked back outside to see the rain. He turned back with a chuckle and a shrug, “I guess so. With this rain.”

The tall guy nodded, “Well, then, I will leave your tab open so you can keep ordering if you want, and just pay before you leave.”

“Wait, what? You guys do that? Like, like in bars?”

White hair guy nodded, “Yeah, happens often enough so why not. Plus, most people are students, so not that hard to track down if it comes down to it. I’m a student too, so.”

Joel was baffled, but he still nodded. “I, well, alright, I guess? I’ll, uh, sit over there. Wait– No, I’ll wait—”

Kinda-nice voice guy chuckled. “Nah, I’ll bring it over. It’s not busy.”

With a nod, Joel was on his way. He picked a booth, hidden from the other customers, shrugged his soaked jacket onto one of the seats, stretching a little, then quickly filled the table with his work. His laptop and tablet, books and papers, pens and pens and more pens. He might as well get some work done until the rain stopped or lighten up.

Not like he was going home, nor did he want to.

He shook his head, put on his headphones and began working.

At some point, the kinda barista walked by, dropping off his drink and food. Joel looked up, seeing an extra thing, and before he could say anything, the guy was gone. With a raised brow, he pulled the little dish closed, finding a little lava cake and a little note saying ‘Happy Birthday. It’s on the house :)’. Joel wanted to cringe, because he did not want to think about his birthday, which he probably should not have mentioned in the first place. Then he realized he did not even tell the guy his name. Oh well, that was a fair exchange, given he did not remember his name either.

It was stupid. But his drink was nice. And he might as well eat the cake, which was also fine. Whatever.

It was whatever.

He went back to his work between sips and spoonfuls of cake, then moved on to the sandwich which was also fine. He lacked appetite, but he knew he needed food. He ate to not have to worry about it, then sunk into his work for however long it took.

>>>

Which was a long time, it seemed. Because Joel woke to dimmer lights and no music, only some sounds he could not register, and… something on his shoulders. He rubbed his eyes, mind slowly watching up and finally realizing that he was hearing sweeping and the thing on his shoulders was a coat. He yawned, then panic looked at his phone, eyes going wide at the time.

“Oh, look who finally woke up.”

Joel looked up with wide eyes, going wider when he saw the kinda-cute barista without his mask. Smile on his lips, twinkle in his eyes, and just—

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll leave. I—”

“You’re good,” the guy chuckled, and Joel blushed, “it’s still raining anyways. I can give you a ride, unless you’ve got someone to pick you up.”

“I– No, it’s okay. I’ll find my way home.”

“Nah, I’m actually locking you in until I’m done closing up.”

The evil barista winked then walked away, Joel took a couple seconds before his mind kicked into motion. He shoved his things into his bag, the coat falling from his shoulders when he got up. The grabbed it, shuddering when he grabbed his still wet jacket, sliding out of the booth to an empty coffee shop. It was so very dark outside, which was definitively not a good sign.

“Sorry, can I pay now? I’ll get out of your hair now. Sorry.”

“Oh. You’re too late. System shut down already. Guess you’ll have to wait until I’m done so I can do the transaction.” The guy laughed, almost amused, leaning on the broom as he looked at Joel… well, amused. Joel made some sort of face, because he laughed again, smitten. Which was probably in Joel’s head, seeing as he just woke up.

He shook his head, placed the coat in the nearest chair, “Okay, alright, you’re being weird now. I’ll come back to pay tomorrow. I’m gonna go now.”

Of course Joel did not. When he tried to pull the door, it did not move. And when he tried to pull it, it did not budge either. He blinked a couple times, then turned to looked at the barista, his captor. He blanked when he saw his raised brow, almost confused.

“I did say I locked the door, didn’t I?”

“This is called kidnapping.”

“No, it’s called an intervention.”

“To what?!”

“To walking in the rain. It’s not good for you. You don’t even have an umbrella. So unprepared, you’re lucky you’re cute though.”

“What are you going to do to me? Kill me? Sex? You want sex. Money? I’m broke, so sex.”

His evil captor had the gall to laugh, shake his head then continued sweeping. “You looked sad.”

Joel’s voice became small. He thought he did a good job hiding. Had he not? This– No, no, this could not be happening. He was hiding it good. No one noticed. No one. Which was why he muted his phone, because no one would notice. Which is why he did not go to class but simply hid around campus, because no one would notice. No one was supposed to notice. No one.

“When you walked in, I don’t know, you looked sad.” The mind-reader said, walking away to put the broom away, but his voice was as loud as if he were standing in front of him. Everything was so quiet, except the pouring rain outside. “And you looked very sad when you said it was your birthday too. Dunno if you meant it or not, but yeah. It’s probably not my place. And I’ll unlock the door if you really want to go. But my offer stands. I will drive you home, or I can drive you wherever you want. We can drive around until my car runs out of gas if that’s what you want. But I really don’t want you to go out and get sick.”

Joel looked up when the barista walked closer, and his eyes finally glossed over the name badge, Etho.

“So,” Etho said, holding the keys in one hand, his coat in the other, “what do you want to do?”

Joel dropped his head, almost ashamed of this state. He should leave. Get home and… and what? Face Grian and Jimmy? Check his phone and explain why he did not answer anyone? Do his homework? Hide in his bed and cry his eyes out? Was that what he wanted?

Was this what he wanted?

“Do you leave alone?”

“I don’t, no. But I can sneak you in if you want. My flatmates are probably busy or sleeping already.”

Joel nodded, “I’ll stay.”

The coat wrapped around his shoulders again, an index lifting his chin tenderly. He wanted to cry, badly.

He did not, though there probably would be time to do so later.

“I’m Joel, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know, I remember.”

Spending his birthday with a stranger sounded like a bad idea. A really bad idea. But at least he was not alone. It would be alright, maybe.

Etho pressed a hesitant kiss on his temple, brushing his cheek with the back of his finger, “Sit down, now. I won’t be long, I promise.”

It would be okay, he decided as he sat down. As long as he was not alone, it would be okay.

_____

uhhhh half-assed joel birthday thing? because.... well... yeah. there is definitively not a theme lately. hah 😪 anyways. i go sleep now

#trafficshipping #hermitshipping #smalletho #ethoslab #smallishbeans

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paperorplastik · 1 year

Text

Ethos Coffee Shop: A Coffee Lover's Paradise

If you're searching for a warm, inviting atmosphere to sip your morning Coffee or unwind amidst the hustle and bustle of your day, look no further than Paper or Plastik Cafe. We are an Ethos Coffee Shop, priding ourselves in serving up a delicious range of coffee that is ethically sourced, sustainably produced, and brewed to perfection.

#ethos coffee shop #order coffee online

0 notes

thatonewatercat · 1 year

Photo

Tastes Like Coffee ~ (Etho x Bdubs) - Chapter 6 - Caffeine is a Buzzkill (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1388825929-tastes-like-coffee-%7E-etho-x-bdubs-chapter-6?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=ThatOneWaterCat&wp_originator=oicWy7EKDRkABRBvFDrTFRugKluqGxIpSrGJeOeuVEUB%2Fuupqmx0cNj6opeiKRnkWVJJHLFqlYc2lEcem8%2BaRQYCMsJrgTMMy666OxwWVqPE%2B2SNVeph4u1%2ByscJZUN%2F This the the SEQUEL to Smells Like Coffee, so ya miiiight wanna check out that one first ;) you guys asked for this, so pick your poison, dig your grave, buckle up, and another phrases you should do to prepare because i can't think of them right now, because i'm .... going to seriously need the support to do this. :D Friends → lovers → a chaotic duo thats gonna get through everything life (<me) will throw at them! And now for the real summary: (with spoilers for Smells Like Coffee!!) It's winter break for these lovesick fools and life could not be better! Well except for that maybe Bdubs is a little overexcited to tell Etho he loves him, and Etho is struggling to figure out how to properly ask Bdubs on a date before jumping into the title "boyfriends". I'm sure everything will clear up perfectly though, because they're gonna go ice skating together on New Years and no amount of awkward-texting-ness can stop their love! Maybe something else can though.... wonder what? Enjoy, and remember to get some damn sleep after each chapter if you are reading at midnight. :)

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blacktofade · 6 months

Text

Gemtho Fortnight Day 1

Woo! Today is the first day of posting fills for the Gemtho prompts you all sent in! Due to the amount I received, I had to cut so many (I'm so sorry!!) but I hope you all have fun reading regardless. Posting is in no particular order and all prompts will be anonymous.

I'm not properly tagging any of these because I don't want to spam certain tags, but after April 14th, I'll create a masterpost with links to all the fills and tag that instead.

The prompts are copy/pasted directly from the asks I received and all content warnings will be posted outside of the cut.

Other than that? We're here to have fun. Put on your tin hats and join me, lads.

---

Prompt: prompt for the april gemtho event: either of them wearing a (hidden) remote controlled sex toy in public, controlled by the other person. was originally thinking gem wearing, etho controlling? but the other way round also works well <3

cw: rpf, exhibitionism, nsfw

Gem’s knees are already weak when she steps through the doorway of the local coffee shop, her phone clutched tightly in one hand.

“Are you there?” Etho asks, just a voice in her ear, and she reaches up to adjust her left earbud with trembling fingers as the buzzing inside her grows worse.

“Yeah,” she answers and Etho makes a noise of acknowledgement.

“Get yourself a coffee,” he orders and she has to force one foot in front of the other as she makes her way toward the counter.

The woman at the register smiles at her warmly and Gem knows she must be beet red, though she can’t do a thing about it.

“What can I get you?” she asks and Gem clears her throat, pausing to take a breath as the vibrator inside her seems to kick into its highest setting.

“How does that feel?” Etho asks and Gem ignores him the best she can.

“Just a medium latte, please,” Gem says, trying to focus as the woman rings her up, nails clacking gently on the touchscreen she’s using.

“I can’t tempt you with a slice of the banana bread we made in-house this morning?”

“You’re easy to tempt,” Etho says in her ear. “Say yes.”

Gem nods, possibly trying to answer both of them, but the barista's smile widens.

“Sure, I’d love a slice,” Gem agrees and the barista taps at the screen again, adding it to Gem’s order.

“That’ll be six fifty-three,” she says and Gem carefully gets her card out, gripping it with white knuckles when the vibrating inside of her stops abruptly.

Somehow she manages to tap her card on the reader and slip it back into her wallet.

“Would you like a receipt?”

She barely has time to focus on the question before Etho asks, “Do you miss me?”

“Yes,” Gem says immediately, before belatedly adding, “please.”

The barista smiles and passes over the receipt, which Gem instantly crumples in her grip as Etho very meanly kicks the vibrations back up to full inside her.

“Thank you,” Gem squeaks, though she’s not sure who it’s directed at, but she quickly steps away, grabbing onto the nearest chair to sit while she waits for her order.

She sags over the table, taking a breath as Etho laughs in her ear.

“Doing okay?” he asks and Gem crosses her legs and tries to sit as normally as possible.

“No,” she whines, and Etho laughs again.

“Want me to turn it down?”

“No,” Gem repeats and Etho makes a noise, like maybe he’s proud of her.

“Should I make you come before your coffee is ready?”

“Etho,” she pleads quietly and Etho hums thoughtfully.

“Y’know,” he starts, and she shuts her eyes, knowing he’s about to ruin her. “If you don’t come now, I’ll make you scream when you get home.”

Gem folds her arms on the table and rests her forehead on top, groaning quietly. “You’re trying to kill me.”

“Just a little,” Etho agrees, and she hates that she can hear the smile in his voice.

#gemtho fortnight #fic

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sulatni-flerida11 · 9 months

Text

Typing...

it's all so incredibly loud | next part

Etho | 4:18 PM

hey cleo ! could you meet me at the rooftop of our apartment later?

Seen 4:22 PM

Cleo | 4:23 PM

uhm… why?

Seen 4:23 PM

Etho | 4:23 PM

c’mmon, indulge in me a little bit?

Seen 4:23 PM

Cleo | 4:24 PM

i already do that by being your roommate

Seen 4:24 PM

Etho | 4:26 PM

i’ll bring your favorite from the coffee shop?

Seen 4:27 PM

Cleo | 4:27 PM

promise?

Seen 4:27 PM

Etho | 4:28 PM

deal

Seen 4:28 PM

Cleo | 4:28 PM

Seen 4:29 PM

Cleo | 4:28 PM

this is why you’re my favorite

Seen 4:29 PM

Etho | 4:29 PM

yeah sure

Seen 4:29 PM

Etho | 4:30 PM

meet me at 6 after classes?

Seen 4:30 PM

Cleo | 4:30 PM

sounds alright

Seen 4:31 PM

Etho | 5:47 PM

hey

Not seen

Etho | 5:47 PM

so i uh.. went ahead

Not seen

Etho | 5:48 PM

[picture attached]

Not seen

Etho | 5:48 PM

feel free to come up here once you’re home :)

Not seen

Etho | 6:26 PM

cleo?

Not seen

Etho | 6:26 PM

wow, i buy your favorite and now ignore me :(

Not seen

Etho | 6:28 PM

kidding!

Not seen

Etho | 7:33 PM

uhm.. cleo?

Not seen

Etho | 7:36 PM

i hope you’re doing alright

Not seen

Etho | 7:36 PM

i can pick you up if you’d like?

Not seen

Etho | 8:12 PM

cleo i went back to the apartment now because grian didn’t bring his key

Not seen

Etho | 8:12 PM

i’ll probably just wait here too.. bit chilly up there, haha

Not seen

Etho | 8:29 PM

cleo

Not seen

Etho | 8:29 PM

yoru stuff isgone ?

Not seen

Etho | 8:29 PM

Not seen

Etho | 8:30 PM

your room is epmtyo f youe stuff

Not seen

Etho | 8:30 PM

i juts messaged bdubs adn grian just callde lizzie

Not seen

Etho | 8:30 PM

they both havent seeny ou after class

Not seen

Etho | 8:30 PM

thry said you eevn rushed out of art class a whlie ago

Not seen

Etho | 8:30 PM

and joek and scara re nowhere to be foudn too

Not seen

Etho | 8:30 PM

and joel stoppef repyling tol izzie

Not seen

Etho | 8:30 PM

giran and i aer worried

Not seen

Etho | 8:31 PM

pelase reply wehn you can

Not seen

Etho | 11:07 PM

grian and i just came from the receptionist

Not seen

Etho | 11:07 PM

said you got a call from your family about your parents

Not seen

Etho | 11:08 PM

we don’t know what’s going on, but whatever it is, i hope you know grian and i are here for you

Not seen

Etho | 11:08 PM

and scar and joel of course

Not seen

Etho | 11:11 PM

i really wish you guys are alright

Not seen

Etho | 11:11 PM

and that whatever you guys are going through right now will pass

Not seen

Etho | 11:11 PM

you three are some of the strongest people i’ve ever met

Not seen

Etho | 11:11 PM

especially you

Not seen

Cleo | 2:27 AM

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 2:28 AM

please don’t take any of this personally

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 2:28 AM

i’m so sorry i couldn’t say more

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 2:28 AM

or anything properly to you directly

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 2:28 AM

but i will say

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 2:29 AM

you’ve always been my favorite

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 2:29 AM

and you’ve always had this way of making me feel loved

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 2:29 AM

even though i don’t deserve it

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 2:29 AM

please don’t burn the apartment down now i’m gone

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 2:28 AM

This number has blocked you.

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 3:49 AM

This number has unblocked you.

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 3:49 AM

i just realized that there’s a really big chance we’ll never see each other again

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 3:49 AM

so i

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 3:51 AM

god this is harder than i thought

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 4:07 AM

i love you

Seen 8:28 AM

Cleo | 4:07 AM

This number has blocked you.

Seen 8:28 AM

Etho | 8:30 AM

that’s what i was supposed to tell you last night