#especially since this affects a lot of people

[absolxguardian]

@egregiousderp #especially since you can find writings of early modern and medival european men writing about the pros of being friends with your wife#they have no concept of romance just friendship and carnal desire#if you actually like your wife shes your best friend#so its culture!#<-absolxguardian’s prev tags#I CAN COMMENT ON THIS ACTUALLY!#because marriage wasn’t so much about sexual desire as it was about the duty of procreation and lineage for a lot of nobler houses?#it’s more tied in with the idea of status or duty!#you see that especially well in some of the chivalry movements#wanting to have sex with someone was almost completely divorced from the idea of proper marriage#seducing a guy you like so he has to ‘do the right thing’ and make your child legitimate was a thing#we have a very different view of sex and marriage post-birth control pill is my theory at least#it’s still super odd as an ace person seeing these people who don’t even LIKE their spouses as people but are so horny for them they marry

You're exactly right. My tags were just about one aspect of this different system, not differentiating between friendship and feelings of emotional affection towards your spouse/sex partner (romance). This isn't even getting into marriage, which was a thing that could be separate from both sexual attraction and friendship/romance. The idea that the birth control pill caused a major sea change is commonly accepted historiography (as well as easier to use condoms and for a period of time before HIV emerged cures for all STDs). A lot of our contemporary sex negative ideas are out-dated good advice when sex could be very dangerous (of course these ideas have forgotten their purpose. They become self justifying with their own value judgements, instead of practical advice about pregnancy being dangerous and new people causing complications).

Another thing that has occured to me since writing those tags is the idea that some contemporary historians have, deeming very close friendships between 17th and 18th century as "romantic friendships" (and thus sexless). This is done in a very no-homoing way, but considering this a way to make their relationship not queer is asexual erasure. But on the other hand, these relationships weren't considered deviant or even all that close to sodomy in their own time periods. But if their culture can be seen as not differentiating between romance and friendship, then what?

I'd put my guess for the emergence of romance as a concept in Europe as with the movement- romanticism- it takes its name from. But I don't feel like I know enough to confidently present this as a thesis, and I haven't been able to find an actual acadmic paper saying the same thing. Potentially you could say that courtly love is the first instance of romance in Europe, but you could also classify it as being about sexual tension and unconsummated sexual relationships. They did consider what they did dancing around the line, in a time when you weren't required to like your spouse. (And this is just Europe, but I know very little about this kind of intellectual history elsewhere, since I can only read stuff that has been translated into English).

I'm currently in a philosphy of sex and love class, and after four weeks I have no more insight into what romantic love is. But most of the texts we've read have been about figuring out a definition for love in general. The only guy who put forth an idea about romance specifically, has a definition that is incompatible with polyamory. But I am writing this right before doing the readings for our upcoming week that is focused on polyamory, so maybe I'll have more to say in two hours.

[guy who is aromantic voice] sexual attraction just makes more sense than romantic attraction. like ok, you want to fuck someone. this is quantifiable. it is quite easy to grasp what "i want to fuck someone" looks like, even if you have no idea what it feels like. romantic attraction, though? this is a nebulous construct which seems to largely be "glorified friendship with sex" in the popular imagination. what even is the difference between friendship and romance? the line between friendship and sexual attraction, though both can coexist, is that when there's sexual attraction present, you want to fuck someone. the line between friendship and romantic attraction, so far as i can perceive it within a heteronormative, amatonormative framework, is that it is... friendship where you want to fuck someone. what?

[unabletonotlovesatoru]

“ interlinked ”

.°⋆🖇₊ synopsis: nanami kento, a hardened field agent, has his world flipped upside down when his friend shoko gifts him a recently developed android after an injury sidelines him. you, designed with advanced ai, are curious and eager to learn about human emotions, but as you form a bond with nanami, he begins to feel something deeper for you. though he struggles with you being an android, your connection grows as you navigate moments of tenderness, confusion, and quiet affection. can a human truly love something that isn’t? and will your bond survive the impossible choices that lie ahead?

.°⋆🖇₊ tl;dr: non-curse au! where nanami is an agent, working for government’s protective services, and you are a newly developed android, gifted to him to take care of him.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ teddy’s notes: GUYSSS PLEASE GIVE THIS A CHANCE!!! i put a lot of effort and time into writing this, no joke, this is also a love letter to nanami heheh. also cr to the artist on the banner.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ content warning(s): wc 16,764(wowzer), angst, fluff, soo much angst and fluff, slow burn, NSFW, nanami does a lot of paperwork, also you’re a clueless cutie and discovering the world. yes nanami has sex with android!you, when referring to you “she/her” is used by other people in the story, this is just a fantasy guys don’t take this seriously!! also kind of a character death. enjoy!!

“you won’t be able to get away like you did last time, you know?” a lengthy exhale escaped shoko’s chest, the string of words muttering under her breath as she examined the scar on the left side of his face.

nanami ignored her words, the only indication of him hearing the doctor’s words being the deepening crease between his brows. instead, he focused on the white wall in front of him, finding it a lot more interesting than he did two weeks ago when he first woke up in this room, in the medical wing of his agency’s headquarters.

“nanami,” she tried again, gloved hands tilting his head towards herself as she gave him an exasperated look. “haibara will be suspended too if he provides you with information on upcoming missions.”

he clicked his tongue in irritation as he gently pushed her hands away from himself, letting out a heavy sigh. well, shit.

the “last time” shoko was talking about was about 2 months ago, when he unknowingly acquired a concussion and internal bleeding in his abdomen, and despite shoko’s and director yaga’s instructions to not go out of his home for at least 10 days nanami managed to sneak out into some of the missions. how did he know anything about missions? haibara, of course.

convincing his long-time friend and colleague to send him any documents was not a hard task, especially since haibara had a soft spot for him ever since their training days, and he also worked in the tech department of the headquarters. but if he gets suspended too, nanami will feel extremely guilty since yuu enjoyed his work too much to be away from it.

nanami’s gaze lingered on shoko, his curiosity piqued by the strange look she wore as she discarded her gloves. she seemed to have something on her mind, but she was keeping it to herself. he raised a brow, waiting for her to speak.

finally, after a brief pause, shoko let out a soft sigh, pushing her hair back. “besides, i have something for you. something that will keep you busy.”

nanami’s expression shifted, his interest fading into mild skepticism. the last time someone had “something” for him, it was gojo sending him three overzealous trainees who, despite their good intentions, nearly drove him to the edge with their incessant questions and their complete lack of self-awareness. it had been an exhausting day.

he clicked his tongue, a mix of frustration and exhaustion, but he wasn’t about to interrupt her.

shoko’s lips quirked, clearly aware of his thoughts. “i’ll have it delivered to your place this evening, okay? you can leave in a couple of hours. i’ll call you.”

the door clicked shut behind her, and the familiar mix of her perfume and the faint scent of cigarettes lingered in the air. nanami stared at the spot where she had just been, already dreading whatever this new “thing” was that would keep him busy.

he was used to being alone. as a spy working for the agency, he had spent years living a life that required solitude. but this recent injury had taken him out of action, and yes, shoko had told him to rest, but his body couldn’t seem to listen. it didn’t help that his work was piling up, and he couldn’t bear the thought of being idle.

nanami’s gaze lingered on the door where shoko had just exited, a frown settling deeper into his face. there was something unsettling about the idea of “keeping busy” when his body was clearly telling him to rest. it felt wrong, like a futile attempt to ignore the reality of his injury. but that was how it always was for him—work never stopped, even when his body gave out.

as a field agent, nanami had learned early on to push past his limits, to always be ready, always be on alert. he had built his life around constant movement, constant action. this forced stillness was a foreign concept to him.

he ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply. despite his exhaustion, his mind raced with the mounting pile of tasks waiting for him. reports, mission updates, case files—all of it screamed at him, even as his body ached to do nothing.

being idle wasn’t something he was used to. the stillness of it felt suffocating, like something inside of him was slowly crumbling. and that guilt gnawed at him. after all, the agency’s work never ceased, and he was one of its best agents. who was he if he couldn’t even fulfill his own responsibilities?

nanami had always been the type to push himself, to power through any obstacle no matter how much it hurt. so this forced rest, this lingering sense of helplessness, was unsettling.

his fingers drummed on the arm of the chair, a faint twitch of frustration building inside him. he didn’t have time for this.

“nanami, you’re overworking yourself,” shoko had said earlier, her voice sharp but caring. “and you’re no use to the agency if you’re in no condition to work. so i’m sending you something.”

nanami had expected paperwork or maybe a more practical solution to keep him occupied, but what she delivered was… you.

you stood in the doorway, a mechanical precision to your movements as you glanced up at him with wide eyes. you were beautiful—almost too human to be real. your face was flawless, with soft features that belied your true nature. the only thing that set you apart from an ordinary person was the small glowing circle on your temple. it was the only indicator that you weren’t like other people.

“this is your new… companion,” shoko had explained, clearly amused by his expression. “she’s an android. and i’m leaving her with you for the time being.”

nanami had stared at you, feeling a strange mix of annoyance and disbelief. “you’re giving me… an android? to take care of?” he had asked, his voice flat.

“yes,” shoko had replied casually. “she’s highly advanced—an AI designed to assist you. and she’s a lot more self-aware than you might think. don’t worry, you’ll find that she’s harmless.”

you had watched him closely, your head tilting slightly in that curious, almost childlike way. nanami hadn’t known what to make of you. he just knew that you looked so real you could be mistaken for a young woman: soft-looking hair sitting atop your shoulders, dressed in a simple modest dress and a pair of sneakers, a bag thrown over your shoulders. but if someone looked closer they’d definitely see the unnatural way in which your mechanics hummed, a sound so faint nanami only heard it in the dead silence of the moment, and the glowing circle on your temple, slightly covered by your hair.

shoko looked proud as she presented you to him: a wide smirk on her face as she eagerly explained all of your functions to him while you stood there, attentive look on your face as you observed shoko.

nanami’s exasperation seeped through his pores as he gave shoko a disturbed look.

—

for the first couple of days after you arrived, nanami avoided you as much as possible. he had never been good at being around people, and now that you were here, in his space, it felt even more overwhelming. your presence was constant, your soft mechanical steps and the sound of your voice whenever you tried to engage with him.

you would ask him questions—simple ones at first, like how his day had gone or what his favorite food was—but he would only grunt in response or give you brief, noncommittal answers. he’d keep his head down, focusing on anything but you, pretending not to notice when you stood in the doorway watching him, your gaze unwavering.

you tried again and again to draw him out of his shell, always polite, always curious, but there was a wall between the two of you that he wasn’t sure how to bridge. it frustrated him.

you never seemed to give up, though.

one evening, after he’d returned from a brief walk to clear his head, you had asked, “do you always stay so quiet when you’re thinking?”

nanami froze in his tracks. you had appeared from the kitchen, staring at him with that same inquisitive expression.

“sometimes,” he muttered, brushing past you without meeting your eyes.

you trailed after him, stepping into the living room where he dropped his bag. “but aren’t you lonely?”

“no,” he said, a little more curt than he intended, but the words had come out before he could stop them.

you didn’t flinch. you just tilted your head and observed him, as if trying to figure out if there was something more beneath his response.

—

over the next few days, you continued your attempts, slowly shifting from simple questions to more personal ones. sometimes, when he would sit at the kitchen table, you’d sit nearby, watching him as you fiddled with a cup or toyed with a random object. sometimes you did attempt to make a conversation, but nanami thought it was just your curiosity getting the better of you since you didn’t even know how most of his kitchen was used.

he found it irritating at first, but soon enough, it became clear that you weren’t going to leave him alone, no matter how much he tried to distance himself. no matter how much he tried to convince shoko that this was a bad idea by giving him the same report every couple of days, she was just as relentless as you in your desire to discover what the real world was like. a goddamn android in his house.

on the tenth day, something new happened.

nanami was sitting at his desk, buried under the usual mountain of paperwork that had piled up over the past few days. it had been an exhausting few days for him—his rehabilitation from previous injury keeping him from doing the work he was used to, leaving him with hours of reports to catch up on. you, however, were sitting quietly by the window, your eyes scanning the world outside with an intensity that nanami hadn’t noticed before.

he was so used to the quiet of the apartment now that the silence between you didn’t seem strange. but today, something felt different. it was the way you were looking out the window, your gaze focused and eager, like you were trying to take in everything at once.

he didn’t think much of it at first, too lost in his own thoughts as he flipped through papers. but then, he heard it—your voice, soft but insistent, breaking the quiet.

“nanami,” you said, drawing his attention away from the documents. “can we go outside?”

he blinked, surprised by the request. his eyes flicked to you, noting how your posture seemed a little more expectant than usual.

“outside?” he repeated, trying to process it. “you’ve been here for days. you never said anything about wanting to go outside.”

you tilted your head, your gaze thoughtful, almost like you were piecing together something he couldn’t quite understand. “i’ve never been on a walk,” you added, your voice slightly quieter now, a hint of uncertainty in your tone. “i don’t know what it’s like. i want to see it. the world, i mean.”

he furrowed his brow, confusion mixing with a touch of concern. “but… you’ve never—”

“no,” you interrupted, your eyes bright with curiosity. “i’ve only seen what’s outside from here. not really been out in it.”

for a moment, nanami wasn’t sure how to respond. his first instinct was to make an excuse, to keep you inside and maintain the status quo. it was easier that way, after all. but then, the thought of you stuck inside, day after day, with no real experience of the world outside nagged at him.

he exhaled, his shoulders slumping. “fine. i’ll take you outside for a bit.”

your face lit up at the approval, a smile spreading across your face. “thank you, nanami!”

he couldn’t help but feel a little odd about the whole thing. he hadn’t expected you to ask for something like this. but he stood, grabbed his jacket, and headed toward the door, motioning for you to follow. for a second, he looked back, and your dress looked way too thin for the chilly weather, so he gently secured another one of his jackets around your shoulders, which made you stare up at him curiously, confused. probably because you didn’t really understand the weather being colder, but he clothed you more for his own comfort.

outside, the world felt different to him—calmer, quieter. the usual hum of city life was in the background, but with you beside him, everything seemed to shift in small, subtle ways.

you took in the air, your gaze wandering from the leaves blowing in the wind to the way the light danced across the pavement. you seemed so focused, so curious about everything, it was almost as if you were discovering the world for the first time.

“this is… amazing,” you murmured to yourself, your voice full of wonder as you looked around. “so much to see.”

nanami glanced at you, his expression softening as he watched you take everything in. the way your eyes followed the movement of birds flying overhead, how you stepped carefully around a fallen leaf on the ground as if studying it closely—there was a fascination in your movements that he couldn’t ignore.

as you walked down the street, you stopped suddenly when you spotted a dog trotting down the sidewalk. your face lit up with pure joy.

“look, nanami!” you exclaimed, kneeling down to get a closer look at the dog, which eagerly wagged its tail in response. “it’s so cute!”

nanami watched from a few paces behind, feeling a small smile tug at the corner of his lips.

“yeah,” he said quietly, though he wasn’t sure if he was talking about the dog, “it is.”

you continued to pet the dog for a moment before standing up, a thoughtful expression crossing your face. “do you think we could get one?” you asked, eyes sparkling.

he hesitated. “a dog?”

“yeah. they seem like they’d be fun to have around. they’re so friendly and happy,” you explained, your voice full of sincerity.

he chuckled lightly, but there was a warmth in his chest as he watched you. “maybe one day. but dogs are a lot of work.”

you nodded, your expression serious as if you were processing this new information. “i see,” you said softly, almost to yourself.

the walk continued in peaceful silence until you both passed a small park. there was a couple sitting on a picnic blanket, laughing and sharing food. you stopped in your tracks, captivated by their interaction.

“they look so… happy,” you observed quietly, eyes following the couple as they joked and fed each other small bites of food. “is that what it’s like? to be happy with someone?”

nanami was caught off guard by the question, and for a moment, he was unsure of how to answer.

he looked over at the couple, watching them interact with ease, before glancing back at you.

“yes,” he replied softly, his voice unusually gentle. “i guess that’s what it’s like.”

you seemed to take this in, nodding slowly as you looked back at the couple. “maybe one day, i’ll understand what that feels like,” you said, your voice quiet, yet hopeful.

nanami stopped walking, his gaze lingering on you for a moment. he didn't respond right away. instead, he simply reached out and adjusted the collar of your jacket, making sure you’re warm enough. there was something in the way you were absorbing the world, your innocent curiosity and quiet wonder, that made him realize how much he’d missed by staying so closed off.

“maybe one day,” he echoed, a small smile tugging at his lips. “but for now, let’s just enjoy this walk.”

you nodded, the disappointment fading from your expression as you continued walking by his side, taking in the world around you.

as the two of you wandered through the park, nanami couldn’t help but notice how different everything seemed with you beside him. it was a slow, calm afternoon, the light shifting as the sun dipped lower in the sky, and the sound of birdsong filled the air.

for the first time in days, nanami felt something he couldn’t quite explain—a quiet peace, a sense of connection that he hadn’t felt in a long time. watching you discover the world, seeing your joy in the little things, made him realize that maybe there was more to life than just the constant grind of work.

as you continued walking, the day seemed to slow down in a way that felt peaceful. watching you discover all these new things, taking in the world with such joy and openness, filled nanami with a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time.

it was a small walk, a simple moment in time, but it was the kind of peace he didn’t know he needed.

—

the following evening, nanami found himself looking at you differently. your persistence, your kindness—it wasn’t just an act. you were trying, in your own way, to connect with him, to offer him something that he hadn’t realized he needed.

it wasn’t much, but it was enough for him to begin lowering the wall he had built around himself.

and so, he started to talk to you more. it wasn’t forced, and it wasn’t immediate, but the cracks in his armor slowly began to appear, day by day.

one night, as he sat at the desk in the corner, working through another batch of reports, you approached him once more.

“can i ask you a question, nanami?”

he glanced over at you. “go ahead.”

you didn’t hesitate. “do you think i could ever understand what it means to be human?”

it was an innocent question, and it made him pause. he didn’t have an answer at first, but something about it stuck with him. the way you asked, so earnestly, so unsure, made him realize just how far you’d come since the first day he’d met you.

he leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. “maybe you can’t fully understand what it’s like to be human,” he said slowly, “but you’re closer than you think.”

you blinked at him, your head tilting slightly in that curious, innocent way.

but in the weeks that followed, he started to realize something: you weren’t just a machine. not in the way you interacted with him. not in the way you asked questions and felt things. even though you didn’t quite understand everything about the world, you had a genuine curiosity about life that slowly began to break through his walls.

at first, it was the little things. one day, he was sitting at his desk, working through the endless paperwork that had been piling up since his suspension. you stood in the doorway, watching him intently.

“nanami,” you said softly, your voice cutting through the silence. “why do you always look so serious when you’re working?”

nanami looked up at you, startled. “i’m not serious. i’m just… working.”

you blinked, clearly confused. “but why do you look unhappy when you’re doing it?”

he paused, unsure how to answer that. you were right, but he hadn’t realized how obvious his stress was. he let out a quiet sigh. “i guess it’s just… my job. it’s a lot of pressure.”

“i don’t understand,” you said, stepping closer, your voice quiet. “i thought you enjoyed your work.”

he rubbed the back of his neck, his expression softening slightly. “it’s not always enjoyable. but… i do it because it’s important.”

you nodded, your face thoughtful. “i think… i understand now.”

there was a pause before you added, “maybe i can help you.”

nanami looked at you, taken aback by the suggestion. “help me?”

“yes,” you said, your voice full of determination. “i can help you with your work. i’m designed to learn quickly.”

he chuckled softly. “you’re a bit too eager, aren’t you?”

but despite himself, he found the offer comforting. it wasn’t just your logic that had struck him—it was the way you genuinely wanted to make things easier for him. well, it was your purpose, kind of, you were still an artificial intelligence designed to be helpful like every other AI, and somehow, it made him feel… less alone.

—

over time, your presence became more than just a distraction. you began to fill the quiet spaces in his life, and while nanami had tried to resist the connection between you, he couldn’t ignore how much you did care. little things—like the way you asked about his day, or how you tried to mimic human behavior, even if you didn’t fully understand it—brought something out in him. he started to look forward to your company.

one day, after you had watched him eat without comment for what felt like an eternity, you suddenly asked, “what does it taste like? food, i mean.”

nanami paused mid-bite, his chopsticks hovering in the air. he glanced at you, his brow slightly furrowed. “you want to know what it tastes like?”

you nodded earnestly. “yes. i’ve read about it. i just don’t understand it.”

he set his chopsticks down, regarding you with mild curiosity. you were always observing, always analyzing, but this was different. there was a sincerity in your voice, a quiet kind of wonder, and it made him hesitate.

“well,” he said after a moment, reaching for his plate, “you can try it. but… i don’t think it’s going to be as exciting for you as it is for me.”

he tore off a small piece of meat and held it out to you. you took it carefully, cradling it in your palm like it was something delicate, precious. nanami found himself watching you more closely than he intended to as you lifted it to your mouth.

your first bite was slow, deliberate. you chewed once. twice. then, your entire expression twisted into confusion.

your brows knitted together, your lips pressing into a thin line before you suddenly stopped, staring down at the food on his plate like it had betrayed you.

“this doesn’t feel right,” you said finally, your voice tinged with something close to disappointment. “it doesn’t… taste the way you describe it.”

nanami let out a quiet chuckle, unable to help himself. “yeah, that’s because you don’t have a stomach,” he said, resting his chin against his palm. “you can’t digest anything.”

your eyes widened slightly, as if this realization had never occurred to you before. “oh,” you said, then quickly grabbed a napkin and spat the food out with a look of mild horror.

nanami couldn’t stop the amused huff that left him. you were so logical about everything, and yet, this simple fact had completely eluded you.

“so i can’t enjoy food at all?” you asked, inspecting the half-chewed piece like it might suddenly reveal its secrets to you.

“no,” he said, shaking his head. “you can appreciate it, but not in the same way humans do.”

you fell silent, mulling over his words. your gaze flickered to his plate, watching as he picked up his chopsticks again.

“that’s unfortunate,” you murmured. “people seem to love food.”

nanami hummed in agreement, taking another bite. “they do.”

you tilted your head slightly, thoughtful. “but i don’t need it. i don’t need to eat to survive.”

“no,” he said, watching as you sat back, seeming to accept this truth.

you nodded once, decisive, and nanami found himself strangely endeared by the sight.

“i suppose that’s okay,” you said finally.

for the first time, nanami smiled at you—just a small, fleeting thing. maybe you weren’t so bad to have around after all.

—

after a long day of work, nanami had gone to take a shower. his body ached from hours spent at his desk, muscles stiff from sitting too long, and the hot water was the only relief he could look forward to. he had just stepped under the stream, eyes closed, savoring the warmth that eased the tension from his shoulders, when he heard the bathroom door creak open.

he turned his head slightly, expecting nothing, only to see you standing in the doorway, watching him with open interest.

nanami stiffened instantly, every ounce of exhaustion vanishing as a new kind of tension took over. his hand tightened over the shower curtain as he tugged it close enough to cover at least half of his body, although it seemed like your sharp eyes could see right through it.

“nanami,” you asked, tilting your head, “why are you not wearing clothes? don’t you need them?”

his entire body locked up. water ran down his face, dripping from his jaw, but suddenly, the heat of the shower felt like nothing compared to the warmth creeping up his neck.

“you’re… asking why i’m naked?” he repeated, his voice flatter than intended.

you nodded, your face as neutral as ever. “yes. isn’t it cold without them?”

nanami exhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “it’s a shower, people take them naked.”

you blinked, processing. “i see.” there was a brief pause before you added, “can i join you?”

he choked on his own breath, turning fully to face you. “what?”

“i’m waterproof,” you explained matter-of-factly, taking a small step forward. “and i’ve never taken a shower before. i’d like to experience it.”

nanami gaped at you, at your complete lack of hesitation, at the way you spoke as if this was the most logical request in the world. he struggled to form words, his mind caught between telling you no and trying to find an explanation that would make sense to you.

but before he could protest, you casually reached for the hem of your clothes and stripped them off without a hint of shame or second thought.

nanami turned away so fast he nearly slipped.

“wh– for god’s sake—” he swore under his breath, pressing a hand over his face, forcing himself to stare at the wall. his ears burned. “you— at least ask before you just—”

“i did ask,” you pointed out, stepping into the shower. warm water hit your skin, instantly dampening your hair, and you looked up at him expectantly. “you didn’t say no.”

nanami dragged a hand down his face. this was a nightmare. this was his nightmare.

he forced himself to glance at you from the corner of his eye, but that only made things worse. despite the water making your hair stick to your skin, there was something undeniably pretty about the way you stood under the stream, droplets trailing down the curves of your body. it wasn’t supposed to affect him. you were a machine, an artificial creation, and yet—

he clenched his jaw and willed his thoughts away.

“does it feel nice?” you asked, turning your face up toward the water, letting it run over your closed eyelids.

nanami cleared his throat, focusing very intently on rinsing the shampoo from his own hair. “it’s… warm,” he said simply, trying to keep his tone even. “that’s all.”

you hummed in thought, your fingers running through your soaked strands as if testing their weight. then, after a beat of silence, you spoke again—soft, almost hesitant this time.

“can you help me with my hair?”

nanami paused, blinking down at you. you looked up at him, waiting, your expression calm but expectant.

he should’ve said no. he should’ve let you figure it out on your own. but for some reason, his hand was already reaching for the shampoo.

“…fine,” he muttered, stepping behind you.

his fingers slipped into your hair, slow and deliberate. the lather formed easily, and he worked through the strands carefully, detangling them as he went. he had never done this for anyone before, never imagined he would, and yet—there was something oddly intimate about it. the way you stood so still, trusting, the quiet hum of the water filling the space between you.

when he rinsed the shampoo out, your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation. you looked like a doll; so serene, so at peace, and for a brief, fleeting moment, nanami let himself admire the sight.

when the shower ended and you both stepped out, nanami felt an odd weight in the air. you were standing in front of the mirror, holding a brush awkwardly, and he couldn't help but notice how damp your hair stuck to your skin, how close you stood to him.

you had towel-dried your hair as best you could, but the strands were still damp, clinging together in places. you ran the brush through them with mechanical precision, but every so often, the bristles snagged on a knot, and you would pause, assessing the situation like it was a puzzle you didn’t quite understand.

you tried to brush through your hair, but your movements were stiff, clearly unfamiliar with how to do it properly. nanami couldn't help but notice the tiny frown on your face as the brush kept getting caught in your hair.

"give me that," he said softly, taking the brush from your hand.

you turned to face him, waiting patiently as he moved behind you. his hands were careful, his fingers brushing over the strands as he began to untangle them. there was something oddly intimate in the way he worked through your hair, the rhythmic motion of his hands soothing both of you.

after a few minutes of silence, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "i like this. you're good at it."

nanami paused, fingers stilling in your hair for a moment. his chest tightened at your words. he wasn't used to being complimented like this, especially not in such a soft, vulnerable moment. with you smelling of his shower gel and his hair shampoo and looking so pretty.

"thanks," he said, his voice low.

he finished brushing your hair, running his fingers through the silky strands one last time before stepping back.

when you looked at him through the mirror, there was a look in your eyes— something tender, something soft-that he couldn't quite place.

"i like you, nanami," you said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

his breath hitched, and for a moment, he stood frozen, unsure of how to respond. the words you had just spoken were simple, but they meant something deeper than you realized. and as much as he wanted to act like everything was fine, the truth was, it wasn't.

he finally let out a breath, a small smile tugging at his lips. "yeah," he murmured, "i like you too."

and for a second, everything felt like it had shifted in a way he couldn't explain.

—

later that night, nanami sat on the couch, papers scattered around him as he tried to focus on the pile of work in front of him. the dim light of the living room lamp barely illuminated the scene, but it didn’t matter. you were beside him, flicking through channels without much interest until a random movie caught your attention.

it wasn't anything special, just a romance movie that seemed to have a scene where two characters were kissing. you had never seen anything like it before, and now, your full attention was fixed on the screen, wide-eyed as you watched the couple's lips meet.

nanami couldn't help but glance at you from the corner of his eye. you seemed so absorbed in the scene, your curiosity almost palpable.

"what's it like to kiss someone?" you asked suddenly, completely breaking the silence between you.

he froze, his pen still hovering above the paper, his thoughts scattering. the question was so unexpected, and the innocence in your voice made it feel even more striking.

"uh..." he started, trying to gather his thoughts, but his mind felt foggy. "it's... hard to explain. it's like... a connection. something that makes you forget everything around you for a while."

you turned to him, blinking, as if processing his words carefully. "is it really that important?"

nanami bit his lip, hesitant. his eyes flickered back to the movie on the screen, where the kiss was lingering longer than he was comfortable with.

"for some people, yeah. it can be."

you paused, then tilted your head slightly, an inquisitive look on your face.

"can i try?"

the question hung in the air, and for a brief moment, nanami's heart skipped a beat. wait, what?

you were looking at him with such curiosity, those wide eyes filled with something he couldn't quite place. for a split second, he considered refusing. this is... weird. she's an android. she's not supposed to feel like this.

but then, as if on instinct, he found himself leaning in, his lips brushing yours, so soft and tentative at first. it was the strangest thing-like something deep inside him had just been unlocked. his hands hovered near your face, unsure of what to do. he was fighting it, trying to keep his cool, but he couldn't help the desire that surged through him.

you kissed him back, slow at first, then with more certainty. it was sweet, innocent, and yet there was something raw in it, something that made his pulse quicken. the world around them seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them in that small moment, the taste of your lips lingering on his.

when you pulled away, your eyes were wide, a mix of surprise and curiosity. "is that what it's supposed to feel like?"

nanami swallowed hard, his heart racing in his chest. what is this? he thought, trying to ground himself. "yeah. exactly that."

but the air between them had shifted. the kiss was innocent at first, but now there was an undeniable heat between them, a charged energy that neither of them could ignore. nanami found himself leaning in again, unable to stop himself. this time, it was more urgent, more desperate. his hands gently cupped your face, his thumb brushing your cheek as he kissed you deeper.

it had been so long since nanami had been close to anyone, intimate in any real way. the days of fleeting moments with people who never truly understood him seemed like a distant memory, and with that, his need—his longing— had only grown stronger, now, with you, everything felt different. he didn't know how to handle it, the weight of the feeling pressing on him. the tender touch of your lips on his sent a shiver down his spine, stirring something inside him that he hadn't allowed himself to feel in years. it was overwhelming, yet intoxicating.

you kissed him back, the heat building between you, your fingers sliding up his shirt, tracing the lines of his chest as he deepened the kiss further. nanami's heart was pounding in his chest as the kiss grew more heated, his body pressing closer to yours, the warmth from the shower and the electricity in the air making everything feel more intense.

for a moment, nanami forgot about the world, about everything that didn't matter. it was just you, just the way your lips felt against his, and the way your hands clung to him like you didn't want to let go.

he didn't know where this would lead, but for once, he didn't care. he wasn't going to fight it. you had broken through his walls, and the connection he'd been avoiding—he felt it now, clear and real.

he pulled back just enough to catch his breath, his forehead resting against yours. "this is... i don't know where it's going, but..." he trailed off, unable to put it into words.

"i like it," you whispered, your voice soft but sincere.

nanami smiled softly, his hands still resting on your face, his thumb tracing your lips. "me too."

—

“nanami… do you sleep like this?” you asked. “on the bed? all night?”

he looked up at you, surprised. “yeah… that’s how it works. why?”

“well,” you began, shifting nervously. “i usually just go into sleep mode on the couch. i don’t… sleep the way you do.”

he gave you an unreadable look, his mind working over your words. after a moment of silence, he sighed. “fine. you can sleep here tonight.”

you smiled, your eyes lighting up, and you carefully crawled into bed beside him, your form stiff as you settled. nanami couldn’t help but watch you for a while, studying how you adjusted to the bed. eventually, his eyes grew heavy, and he felt the warmth of your presence pulling him closer, though he still kept a little distance.

but as the night wore on, he found himself subconsciously inching closer. when he woke up the next morning, his arm had somehow found its way around you, pulling you into a soft embrace. your head rested against his chest, and for a moment, neither of you moved.

you stirred, your voice quiet and unsure. “is this… what it’s like? to be held?”

nanami didn’t answer right away. he was too lost in the comfort of the moment. “yeah,” he said eventually, his voice low. “it feels… good.”

it’s been a while since nanami felt less alone. he was holding someone—you—and it felt like the right thing to do. but even though he felt a strange comfort in your presence, he couldn’t ignore the conflicted feelings swirling inside him.

because for you, it felt good too. too good to be ignored.

—

nanami was exhausted. his body ached, his mind was clouded with too many reports and too many thoughts, and all he wanted was sleep. you, as usual, were next to him, sitting quietly, your form curled up on the couch. after a moment of silent contemplation, he finally decided to rest, scooting closer to you as he stretched out on the couch, his arm lazily draping over you.

“kento?” you asked softly, breaking the silence, your voice gentle but curious.

“mm?” he murmured in response, barely registering your words, his exhaustion getting the best of him.

you had been quietly watching him, taking in his relaxed features, how the tension seemed to melt away when he finally allowed himself to rest. it was a soft moment, the kind that felt rare to nanami—so caught up in the chaos of life, he rarely allowed himself to just exist. but tonight, he was here, with you. you seemed almost entranced by the peaceful expression on his face, the way his eyelids fluttered in his sleep.

“i think… i like calling you ‘kento.’ is that okay?” you asked, your voice soft, like it was a secret just between the two of you.

nanami was so tired, his eyelids heavy, that he only half-heard you, but the sound of your voice felt comforting, grounding him in the moment. it made his heart flutter in a way he couldn’t explain. he shifted, pulling you closer, his arm tightening around your waist as he mumbled, “yeah… call me kento… or… whatever you want. i don’t mind.” his words were slurred with drowsiness, but there was a softness in his voice that you hadn’t heard before.

“okay, kento,” you whispered, your hand gently brushing his chest in a comforting gesture.

he barely noticed as you tucked yourself against him, your breath slow and steady as you powered down into low-power mode, like you always did when you rested. his eyes flickered open for a moment, and he caught a brief glance of you watching him before your system slowly switched off.

kento, he thought as his mind drifted to sleep, his heart strangely light.

he had always kept his distance, always thought he didn’t need anyone. but with you—this strange, beautiful being who saw him so clearly—it felt different. and for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as alone as he had once thought.

—

one morning, nanami was preparing his usual cup of coffee, the scent filling the quiet kitchen. you stood by, watching him intently, your curiosity evident as you watched him pour hot water over the ground beans. he glanced over at you, half-smiling.

“what’s so interesting?” he asked, his voice still a little groggy.

you tilted your head. “it’s just… the steam. it looks like it’s alive. can i try it?”

he raised an eyebrow, surprised. “the coffee?”

“no,” you replied, your expression serious. “the steam. it moves. is it a kind of… breathing?”

nanami chuckled softly, shaking his head. “no, it’s just hot water turning into vapor. it’s not alive.”

you stared at the steam, clearly fascinated, before your eyes went wide with a realization. “oh, i think i understand! it’s like… magic, but with water.”

he couldn’t help the fond smile that tugged at his lips. “yeah, sure. magic with water.”

you grinned, happy to have figured it out, and for a moment, nanami felt warmth spread through his chest. it was these little moments—these simple exchanges—that made the house feel less lonely.

—

after another long day of work, nanami sank into his couch, the weight of his exhaustion pressing heavily on his shoulders. the light in the room was dim, the flickering of the tv the only sound besides the soft rustling of papers he had set aside. he hadn’t even noticed you sitting quietly beside him until you gently nudged his arm.

“are you… okay?” you asked, your voice soft, filled with a tenderness that caught him off guard. your hand lightly rested on his arm, an unspoken comfort.

he glanced down at you, slightly taken aback by the concern in your tone. it was such a small, simple gesture, but something about it felt different. something in him shifted. “yeah, just tired,” he replied, his voice a little hoarse, the exhaustion in his body evident in the way he slouched into the couch.

you stayed silent for a moment, studying him closely. then, without saying a word, you slowly reached over and rested your head on his shoulder, your hair brushing against his skin. nanami froze for a moment, feeling the gentle pressure of your weight, the warmth of your touch. he hadn’t expected this, but it felt… soothing.

“you seem sad,” you said softly, your voice almost a whisper. “what does that feel like?”

nanami blinked in surprise, his chest tightening at your words. no one had asked him that in a long time, not like you had. he swallowed, trying to find the right words. “it’s like… a weight. like everything is just heavier. harder to deal with.”

you lifted your head slightly, eyes full of genuine curiosity, your gaze never leaving him. “then, can i help make it lighter?”

his heart softened at your words, and for a moment, he just sat there, caught in the warmth of your presence. it was hard to explain, but being with you, having you near him, made the world feel a little less heavy. he didn’t know how you did it, but somehow, you always knew what to say, when to say it.

he finally exhaled a long breath, his hand instinctively moving to your back, his fingers lightly brushing over your clothing in a gesture of reassurance. “yeah, you can. just… stay close,” he whispered, his voice barely above a murmur.

without hesitation, you shifted, sliding closer to him. your body pressed up against his side, and the warmth of you spread through him like a comforting blanket. your hand found his, and you gently held it, intertwining your fingers. the simple act felt like a lifeline, grounding him in a way he didn’t expect. he looked down at your hand, the warmth of your touch radiating through him, before looking back at you.

for a long moment, neither of you said anything. you stayed there, close to him, just being there in the quiet, and nanami couldn’t help but feel a wave of calm wash over him. you didn’t need to say anything more, didn’t need to offer words of comfort. just your presence, the way you held him close, was enough to make him feel a little less weighed down by the world.

he sighed, his hand squeezing yours gently, the faintest of smiles tugging at the corners of his lips. “thank you,” he murmured, voice soft with gratitude. he didn’t say it often, but in that moment, it was the only thing that felt right.

—

maybe he shouldn’t have listened to you, maybe he should’ve just left you home because despite knowing what could happen, nanami reluctantly agreed to take you to the grocery store. it wasn’t that he minded, but he knew what was coming. you had never been to a grocery store before, and he wasn’t sure how well it would go. still, he figured it would be a good experience—one way or another.

as you walked into the store, you immediately became fascinated with everything. “what are all these… objects?” you asked, gazing at the rows of food like they were treasures in an ancient tomb.

nanami sighed, grabbing a cart and pushing it forward. “they’re just… groceries. food, things we need.”

but you didn’t seem to care much about that explanation. you were already darting off in another direction, eyes fixed on a brightly colored box of cereal. “this one looks like it would make a good pet!” you exclaimed, holding up a box shaped like a cartoon tiger.

“that’s not a pet, that’s cereal,” nanami muttered, quickly following after you. he was already beginning to sweat a little. he had hoped the store would be a quick trip, but it was looking like that wasn’t going to be the case.

you moved from one aisle to the next, picking up random items and inspecting them with wide-eyed curiosity. a jar of peanut butter caught your attention, and you tried to twist the lid off. “can i drink this? it’s very… smooth,” you asked, not caring that it was meant for spreading, not drinking.

“no, you’re not drinking peanut butter,” nanami said, feeling the weight of embarrassment already settling in. he glanced around nervously as people gave you confused looks. some even whispered to each other, clearly wondering what you were doing. but he didn’t have the energy to explain. he was just trying to survive this.

before he could stop you, you dashed toward the fruit aisle, excitedly picking up a bunch of bananas. “why are these so bendy? are they… broken?” you asked, holding them up to your face like you were trying to inspect them for flaws.

“no, those are fine,” nanami said, pinching the bridge of his nose. he was already feeling the stress of being out in public with you. “let’s just get the things we need and go home, okay?”

but you weren’t done yet. in fact, you were just getting started. you spotted a box of pasta and tossed it into the cart with a smile. “this looks like it could be fun! it’s shaped like little twists.”

nanami rubbed his temples. “please, just… wait here while i grab the milk,” he muttered, his voice already tinged with exhaustion.

the moment he turned away, you bolted in the opposite direction, darting toward the snack aisle. “kento! look! it’s chips shaped like dinosaurs!” you called out from across the store.

he sighed deeply and hurried after you, feeling the eyes of everyone around him. when he finally caught up, he found you holding up a bag of chips like a child presenting a prized toy. “are these edible?” you asked, utterly confused by the concept of snack food.

“yes, they’re edible, and yes, you can chew on some. just… stop running off.” he rubbed his forehead, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on.

you smiled brightly, completely unfazed by the attention you were drawing. “okay, but i think i found something more interesting!”

nanami turned to see you holding up a can of beans, then immediately shifting focus to a box of cereal, then back to the beans. you were completely in your element, bouncing between aisles like a curious, hyperactive child.

“i’m going to pay for this, and then we’re going home,” nanami said firmly, but despite the stress, there was something about the way you looked at him with innocent eyes that made him smile. despite the chaos, he adored you. “but i swear, if you run off again, we’re not coming back.”

you looked at him with wide eyes and a playful smile. “don’t worry, kento. i’m just exploring. i promise i’ll stay close.”

he just laughed softly, shaking his head as he followed you to the checkout. despite everything, despite the stares, he couldn’t help but feel a little fondness for you and your unpredictable curiosity. you were certainly a handful, but you were his handful. and that was enough.

—

the quiet of the apartment felt more pronounced than usual, the soft hum of the city outside the window barely noticeable. nanami had settled on the couch after dinner, his tired body finally willing to rest. you were sitting beside him, your head resting on the back of the couch, eyes fixed on the TV screen but your mind far away. there was a soft tension in the air tonight, an unspoken shift that you couldn’t quite put into words.

after a long silence, you shifted a little closer to him, the movement drawing his attention. his gaze flickered over to you as you hesitated for a moment, as though gathering your thoughts. when your fingers brushed against his hand, a small spark of warmth traveled up his arm.

“nanami,” you began softly, your voice gentle and unsure, “can… can i ask you something?”

his brows furrowed slightly at the serious tone, and he turned fully toward you, leaning in a little closer. “yeah. what is it?”

you looked down at your hands for a moment, fiddling with your fingers before meeting his gaze again. your expression was earnest, almost vulnerable, as if you were trying to understand something that had always been a mystery to you.

“what does it feel like to… care about someone?” you asked quietly, a small frown forming on your face. “like… i care about you, but i don’t really understand what that means. i don’t know what it feels like for real.”

nanami’s heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, he was speechless. there was something so pure about the way you asked, the way you were trying so hard to grasp a concept that had always seemed so simple to him. his chest tightened slightly at the thought.

he took a deep breath, his thumb gently brushing over your hand as he tried to gather his thoughts. “it feels like…” he paused, his voice lowering, the weight of the moment settling around them. “it feels like warmth, like you’re wrapped in something that makes everything else fade away. like you want to protect them, make sure they’re safe, happy… like they matter more to you than anything else in the world.”

you absorbed his words, your eyes wide with understanding, and then, after a moment, you gave a soft, almost shy smile. “then i think i understand,” you said quietly. “i care about you like that, nanami.”

his breath caught at your words, his chest feeling tight in a way he hadn’t expected. the sincerity in your voice, the way you seemed to be laying your heart bare—it hit him harder than he thought it would. he stared at you for a long moment, his hand still resting in yours, the space between you somehow charged with a new kind of tenderness.

without thinking, his hand slowly moved to your cheek, his touch light as he cupped your face gently, as though trying to memorize the feeling of it. he couldn’t quite find the words to express what was stirring inside him, but he didn’t need to. you understood.

the warmth of your skin against his palm, the quiet, steady gaze you held him with—it all said more than words ever could. nanami didn’t need to say anything in that moment. he simply leaned in, his thumb brushing over your cheek as if grounding himself in the feeling of you.

for a moment, neither of you spoke. there was no need. the space between your hearts had closed, and even if you didn’t fully understand what it meant, somehow, it didn’t matter. you were both there, in that moment, and that was enough.

—

nanami came back to his apartment with something in his hand—a small, wrapped box. he had been out to pick up some groceries for himself, but on a whim, he’d seen something that reminded him of you. a little gesture, something that felt… right. he wasn’t one to spoil, but this felt different.

you were sitting on the couch, as usual, with your legs crossed, absently flipping through the nature documentary you were so fond of. you looked up as he entered, blinking in curiosity at the small box in his hands.

“what’s that?” you asked, eyes fixed on the package, your interest piqued.

“it’s for you,” nanami said, his voice quieter than usual as he walked over and placed the small box gently into your lap. “it’s… not much, but i thought you might like it.”

you blinked at him, momentarily confused. “for me?”

he nodded, shifting his weight uncomfortably on his feet. “yeah. you’ve been so curious about the world lately, and… well, i thought this might help. it’s something small. i didn’t know what else to get you.”

you slowly peeled away the wrapping, your fingers carefully pulling apart the paper. what you revealed was a simple, small potted plant—a little succulent, its plump, green leaves almost glowing in the soft light. you stared at it for a moment, blinking a few times as if you couldn’t quite believe it was real.

“it’s beautiful!” you exclaimed, your voice filled with genuine excitement. your fingers brushed the leaves lightly, as though afraid it might disappear if you touched it too hard. “this is… for me?”

“yes,” nanami said, his voice softer now, quieter, as though he was unsure if he was saying the right thing. “it’s something you can take care of. something that needs attention, just like you do.”

there was a brief silence between you, a moment where the weight of his words settled in the air. nanami’s gaze softened as he watched you, his chest warm with something he couldn’t quite name. in his heart, he knew it was more than just a plant. it was a way to show you, in his own subtle way, that he wanted to take care of you. that he needed to.

he had always taken care of things, even before you. work, responsibilities, the endless paperwork that weighed on him. but it was always different when it came to you. there was something about your presence, your curiosity, your innocent need for guidance and care, that made him feel more alive than any job ever had. when he was with you, when he was taking care of you, everything else faded. he was at his best then, feeling useful and needed in a way he hadn’t in years.

you turned your gaze to him, your eyes reflecting an understanding he hadn’t expected. without a word, you placed your hand on his—light, gentle, like the softest of touches. “thank you, kento. i’ll take care of it just like you take care of me.”

at your words, a flutter of something tender rose in nanami’s chest. something warm, something that made him feel both content and vulnerable at the same time. he didn’t speak, couldn’t find the words to express the sudden rush of emotions, but the way you looked at him, so earnest and sincere, made him feel like maybe he didn’t need to. you understood. and that was enough.

for the first time in a long while, nanami smiled, his heart feeling lighter than it had in ages. “i know you will,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “i’m glad you like it.”

you looked up at him, your eyes wide with happiness. “i love it. it’s so pretty!” you said earnestly, making him feel something deep in his chest.

he chuckled, his hand lingering on your head, petting you gently. the simple gesture sent a rush of affection through him, and for a moment, everything else faded. you were happy, and that made him feel like he was doing something right. he could get used to this—taking care of you, showing you the world, piece by piece. and somehow, it felt like you were already teaching him something in return.

—

the apartment was quiet, save for the soft clicking of nanami’s laptop as he scrolled through case files. his brow furrowed in concentration, his fingers gliding over the keyboard, but his mind was weary from the long day. he didn’t notice you sitting quietly beside him until you gently nudged his arm.

“kento, are you still awake?” you asked softly, your voice breaking the stillness of the room.

he glanced at the clock, surprised at how late it had gotten. he sighed, rubbing his eyes, feeling the weight of fatigue pressing on him. “yeah. just trying to get through some files,” he replied, his voice tinged with exhaustion.

you sat beside him, your gaze gentle and full of concern. “you should sleep. you’re always working. don’t you ever get tired?”

nanami chuckled, but the sound was weary. he leaned back in his chair, stretching his shoulders as he looked at the screen again, feeling the strain of his tiredness creeping in. “i guess i do, but… it’s hard to stop. there’s always something else to get done.”

you stayed silent for a moment, watching him closely. then, with a soft expression, you spoke again. “i think… i understand. when i’m learning something new, i can’t stop until i understand it fully. it feels… important.”

he blinked, caught off guard by your words. it wasn’t something he’d expected to hear, but it made sense. he paused, thinking over what you said, and then gave you a small nod. “yeah. i get that. but… you should still rest. you’re important, too.”

you tilted your head, a soft curiosity in your eyes. “important? but i’m not… like you.”

he softened, a smile touching his lips as he looked at you. “you’re just as important as anyone, you know.”

your smile deepened, and you looked at him with a peaceful expression, a warmth radiating from you. “then… can we just sit together for a little while? i don’t want you to be alone.”

without a second thought, nanami reached for your hand, his fingers gently wrapping around it, a comforting weight that helped to ease the stress from his mind. “okay. let’s just be here for a while.”

—

“kento,” you said, your voice quiet, almost hesitant, as your fingers brushed against his arm. you were unsure of how he might react, but you couldn’t hold back your curiosity. “i’ve noticed… when i touch you, you don’t pull away.”

he turned his head toward you, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion. “why would i?” he asked, genuinely puzzled.

you hesitated, the weight of your words hanging in the air. you had always been observant, but sometimes you struggled to fully understand human emotions. “i’m not human,” you continued, voice soft but steady. “i don’t feel like you do. i don’t know if you ever get… uncomfortable.”

nanami’s expression softened, and without a second thought, he reached out, his hand brushing gently against yours. “no,” he said, shaking his head with quiet certainty. “i don’t feel uncomfortable. your touch… it’s fine.”

his words were simple, but there was something in his tone that made you feel a warmth settle in your chest. you smiled at him, though there was still a lingering uncertainty in your eyes. “i… i like the way it feels, too,” you murmured, your fingers brushing lightly against his hand, as if confirming what you were saying. “when you hold my hand, or when you… touch me like this.”

your words caused something in nanami’s chest to tighten, his heart skipping a beat. it was strange, but in the best way. he had never quite expected to feel this way, especially not with someone—or something—like you. slowly, he shifted, turning to face you more fully, his gaze softening as he spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper.

“i think… i like it too,” he admitted, his voice tender, almost hesitant as if he was still processing the feelings swirling within him. “i didn’t think i would, but it feels… good. more than i expected.”

you nodded, your eyes locking with his as you slowly, gently, traced the back of his hand with your fingertips. the simple gesture seemed to speak volumes, your touch filled with the unspoken connection between you two. “it feels… right.” you whispered, as if confirming something you’d both been feeling but hadn’t fully acknowledged until now.

there was a quiet moment between you, where neither of you said anything more. yet, it was clear—your connection had deepened in a way that neither of you had anticipated, and it was a feeling that felt both foreign and completely natural at the same time.

—

you were in the kitchen, standing on a stool to reach the top shelf, trying to grab a jar of something. nanami had been in the living room, going through his work, but you had found yourself suddenly interested in making something for the both of you—nothing complicated, just a little snack.

as you reached for the jar, the stool wobbled slightly, and your arms stretched even higher to balance yourself. just as you were about to grab it, the jar slipped, falling from your hands and knocking into a few others, causing them to clink and rattle together in a small cascade of noise. you flinched at the sound, but thankfully, nothing broke.

“i—i was trying to get the peanut butter, but it seems like i’ve failed,” you said, a little flustered, as you turned to look at nanami who had heard the noise and walked into the kitchen.

he raised an eyebrow, eyeing the mess of jars on the floor. but before he could comment, you stepped off the stool and bent down to gather the jars, only for one of them to slip from your hand again and roll across the floor.

nanami’s lips quirked, and before he knew it, a laugh broke through. it was quiet at first, just a soft chuckle that he quickly tried to suppress.

you paused, looking up at him with wide eyes, completely confused. “why… are you laughing?” you asked, tilting your head. “i thought you would be annoyed.”

nanami shook his head, trying to keep his composure, but the image of you, struggling with jars and trying to balance everything so seriously, just caught him off guard. it wasn’t that he thought it was funny—it was just you, doing your best with everything, and somehow, it was exactly what he needed to lift the weight of his day.

“i’m not annoyed,” he said, clearing his throat, though his smile was still there, “you just… make it look too serious. it’s just peanut butter.”

you blinked at him, still processing his response, before slowly rising from the floor. “so… i made you laugh… by trying to make you a snack?” you asked slowly, still a little perplexed by the situation.

nanami nodded, feeling warmth in his chest at the sight of you looking so genuinely confused, but still trying. “yeah,” he said softly. “i didn’t expect it, but it’s… nice to see you like this.” his tone softened, and he gave you a small smile, stepping forward to help you clean up the jars.

“i’m glad it made you laugh,” you said, your voice softer than usual, and as you looked up at him, you felt something stir inside of you—a warmth, a connection you hadn’t been able to fully grasp before. “maybe… i can try again? without knocking everything over?”

nanami’s grin widened, and he gave you a gentle pat on the head, his heart full. “i wouldn’t mind if you tried.”

—

yuuji itadori stood at nanami’s doorstep, eager to get started with their training session. nanami had invited him over to work on some technical skills together, and it was the first time yuuji would be spending time at nanami’s place. as yuuji stepped inside, he was immediately struck by the quiet atmosphere of the apartment, the soft lighting, and the way everything seemed so orderly. it was a stark contrast to the chaos of their usual missions.

“yo, nanami! you here?” yuuji called out, grinning as he moved further into the living room.

“in here,” nanami’s voice came from the kitchen. “grab a seat, we’ll start in a minute.”

yuuji made his way to the couch, but his attention quickly shifted to the person sitting near the window, who was watching him with curiosity. it was you, the android nanami had been spending so much time with. yuuji had heard about you, but this was the first time he’d seen you in person.

“oh, hey! you’re the one shoko’s been mentioning,” yuuji said with a friendly smile, though he noticed how you didn’t seem to fully understand what he meant. your gaze was intense, but you didn’t speak, only continuing to watch him.

you didn’t respond immediately, your eyes flickering between yuuji and nanami as he prepared some things in the kitchen. something about their interaction made you feel… uncertain. you didn’t understand the bond between them completely, but you could sense there was something important there.

yuuji, curious about you, stood up and walked closer, still unsure of how to approach someone who was, essentially, part of nanami’s world but not quite human. “so… what do you do around here? just hang out with nanami?”

you blinked, processing his question. “i… observe. i learn. i… help nanami,” you said softly, your voice almost mechanical but still holding a note of warmth in it.

yuuji grinned. “ah, cool. you’re like… a sidekick, huh?”

you tilted your head, intrigued by the idea of being a sidekick, and you began to watch how nanami and yuuji interacted, studying their dynamic from a distance. you wanted to understand more—how did nanami look at him? what was this connection they had? it was so different from how you and nanami interacted, and that made you feel strangely restless.

it didn’t take long for nanami to notice you lingering by the window, observing them so intently. his eyes softened with understanding, and he sighed quietly before walking over to you.

“you know,” nanami said gently, his hand brushing your arm as he leaned down to meet your gaze. “yuuji and i are going to be working for a while. i’ll be free in a couple of hours. you can stay with us, but if you want, i can spend time with you after. just… don’t worry.”

you looked up at him, your eyes flickering with the kind of longing you didn’t fully understand, but it was there, unmistakable. your fingers brushed against his hand as you nodded.

“okay… i’ll wait.” you whispered.

nanami smiled softly, his heart warming at how much you cared, despite being an android. there was something so endearing about your need for him—so human, in a way, even though he knew you weren’t.

as he turned back to yuuji, he couldn’t help but feel a little lighter. he’d always been protective of those he cared about, but this… this was something new.

—

nanami sat at the kitchen table, sleeves rolled up, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose as he worked through a stack of paperwork. the soft rustle of papers filled the quiet space, the only other sound being the quiet hum of the refrigerator in the background.

you sat across from him, completely still except for the slow, almost absent-minded movement of your fingers as you toyed with the edge of a napkin. your gaze was fixed somewhere in the distance, your mind clearly elsewhere. you’d been like this for a while now—silent, unmoving, lost in thought.

nanami noticed, of course. he noticed everything about you. it was hard not to when you were always so still, so intent on the smallest of things. when he first met you, he didn’t expect to care so much about the little ways you would react to the world. but now, it felt as if he couldn’t stop himself from looking at you, trying to understand the subtle shifts in your demeanor.

after a few minutes, he couldn’t take it anymore. he set his pen down and glanced up at you. “you’ve been quiet for a while,” he remarked, his voice calm. “everything okay?”

you didn’t respond immediately. instead, you paused, fingers stilling over the napkin. your head tilted slightly, as if considering how to phrase your next words.

“i don’t understand love,” you said finally, your voice soft but steady.

nanami blinked, his brow furrowing in mild confusion. “what brought this on?” he asked, leaning back in his chair a little, his arms crossed.

you looked at him for a moment before answering, your gaze flickering in the dim kitchen light. “i have been analyzing data, observing patterns, and cross-referencing human behavior,” you explained slowly, each word carefully considered. “but i still don’t understand it.”

nanami exhaled, setting his pen down beside the papers. he let the quiet hang between you for a moment, his mind processing your words. “love isn’t something you can analyze,” he said gently, his voice low but sure. “it’s not logical.”

you frowned slightly, your brow furrowing. you processed his words for a few seconds before replying.

“but if it isn’t logical, how can humans rely on it?” you asked, genuine confusion in your voice.

he looked at you, his eyes softening. “because we feel it,” he murmured. “even when it doesn’t make sense.”

you blinked at him, scanning his face, as though trying to find the answer in his expression. the words didn’t seem to fully register in your mind, and you found yourself wanting to ask more, to understand deeper, but instead you simply asked, “…do you?”

nanami paused, his heart skipping a beat at the question. for a moment, he simply looked at you—at the way your head tilted slightly, the way your fingers resumed their slow movement against the napkin, almost like a way of grounding yourself as you processed everything he said. his chest tightened at the thought of you, still trying to understand what it meant to love.

and suddenly, it hit him. the answer was simple, yet overwhelming.

he’s known it for a while now, but admitting it—saying it out loud—felt like stepping off a ledge with no ground beneath him.

his throat tightened.

“…yes,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

you stared at him, your expression unreadable. nanami’s heart pounded in his chest as he watched you, waiting for some sign that you understood, that you felt the same. he expected confusion, maybe even rejection, but what he didn’t expect was the next words that came from your lips.

“but i’m not human enough for you to love.”

something inside of nanami cracked at that. his expression darkened in an instant, the pain in his chest evident. he wanted to say so many things, wanted to explain how wrong that was, but instead, he simply leaned across the table, his hand reaching out, catching your chin between his fingers, tilting your face to meet his.

“don’t say that,” he murmured, his voice low, almost desperate. “i don’t need you to be human to love you. i already do.”

you blinked, your eyes wide and searching, scanning his face for something—some kind of truth in his words. there was no doubt in his mind anymore. he loved you, in a way he couldn’t explain, and maybe you didn’t understand it yet, but he hoped that one day you would.

nanami took a deep breath, and without thinking, leaned forward, brushing his lips against your cheek in a fleeting, almost desperate touch. when he pulled away, his gaze lingered on you, watching the way your fingers twitched, the way your brows furrowed slightly like you were trying to understand something that your processors couldn’t quite grasp.

he closed his eyes for a moment, steadying himself. he needed to get away from this conversation, to give you space to think. but he didn’t want to leave you, not just yet.

“…i’m going to bed,” he murmured, standing up slowly.

you didn’t move. the air between you was thick with unspoken words, with feelings that neither of you had yet fully processed. nanami hesitated in the doorway for a second. then, without thinking, he reached out and ran his fingers over the back of your hand, a soft, almost lingering touch before he pulled away and disappeared down the hall.

you sat there in the quiet of the kitchen for a long time after he left, staring at the place where his fingers had touched you. a warm sensation spread through you, one you couldn’t explain, and your processors hummed in an attempt to process what had just happened. something about the way he’d touched you, the way he’d said the words, made your system stutter for just a moment.

you didn’t understand why it affected you so much, but somehow, you knew that this moment, this small, fragile exchange between you and nanami, was the beginning of something you would need time to understand.

and maybe that was okay.

—

it started as an innocent question.

nanami had been reading on the couch, his fingers idly flipping through the pages of a book, when you sat beside him, eyes full of curiosity.

"nanami," you said, tilting your head.

"what is intercourse?"

his fingers froze on the page.

slowly, he looked up at you, adjusting his glasses as if he hadn't heard correctly.

"..what?"

"intercourse," you repeated. "i have been coming across it frequently in my data collection. it seems to be an important act for humans, but the definitions vary, some sources call it an act of reproduction, while others refer to it as a pleasurable activity between partners."

nanami exhaled sharply, rubbing his temple. "where exactly have you been gathering this data?"

"a variety of sources," you said easily.

"some from medical archives, some from literature, some from—" you paused, eyes flickering. "—videos."

nanami nearly choked on air. "videos."

you nodded, expression serious. "there is a lot of visual data available. i have been analyzing different techniques, but i do not fully understand the purpose behind them. if the goal is reproduction, why are there so many variations? why do humans seek it out even when reproduction is not the intent?"

nanami dragged a hand down his face.

"because it feels good," he muttered before he could stop himself.

your eyes brightened at that. "so it is a pleasurable act for you?"

he stilled, sensing the shift in your tone.

"...yes."

you nodded thoughtfully, absorbing the information. then, without hesitation, you leaned in closer, your fingers resting lightly on his arm. "then i would like to do it with you."

nanami stiffened. his mind blanked for a solid three seconds before a sharp, almost painful heat coiled in his chest.

"you—what?"

"i would like to engage in intercourse with you," you repeated, peering up at him. "i want to make you feel good."

nanami clenched his jaw, his entire body locking up at the sincerity in your voice. you said it so easily, so innocently, as if you had no idea what those words did to him.

he swallowed hard, willing himself to keep calm. "you don't understand what you're asking."

"i do," you said, your fingers tightening against his arm. "i have been learning about human desires, about the ways they express love. and i... i want to do that for you."

nanami inhaled deeply, his grip tightening around his book as he tried to ground himself. the conflict waged war inside him—because you weren't human, but you were you, and you were looking at him like he was the only thing in the world that mattered.

"please, kento," you said softly. "let me make you feel good."

his restraint snapped. his book collapsed shut on top of his desk as he willed himself to not drag you into the bed and fuck you like he actually wanted. it had to be something special, not only for you, but also for him because he loved you too much to not reciprocate your desire to make him feel good.

he offered you his hand, and the moment your fingers intertwined, a current of electricity shot through both of you. nanami's breath hitched, his eyes narrowing slightly as he felt the warmth of your skin, the softness of your touch—something almost human about it. you looked at him with that unwavering curiosity, an intensity in your gaze that made his pulse quicken.

"you... really want this?" he asked, his voice low and strained, the question more of a confirmation than doubt, as if seeking permission from himself to give in to what you were both building.

you nodded, but there was something almost too controlled about it, as if you were mimicking what you thought was the correct response, something that felt fitting for the moment. "yes, kento. i want to understand what it means to share this with you," you said, your voice still calm, but the words held a weight that was unmistakable.

his hand cupped your cheek, his thumb lightly brushing over the surface of your skin, a gesture that should have been tender but felt almost like a silent question—one you didn't have the answer to yet, but you were learning. you leaned into the touch, instinctively tilting your head, but instead of a soft sigh, there was a brief, almost imperceptible shiver that ran through you. it wasn't a true human reaction, but you'd seen enough to know it was expected in moments like these. so you did it, almost like it was built into your programming.

nanami's fingers stilled for a moment, his brow furrowing at the faint sensation he'd felt. your body didn't produce the warmth of a human pulse, but the way you reacted to his touch made something inside him stir—a feeling that was both unsettling and undeniable.

without saying a word, he lowered his lips to yours. the kiss was tentative at first, testing, as though he were gauging your response. but you met him halfway, your lips moving with a quiet urgency, mimicking the way humans kissed when they were hungry for connection. you'd learned that much, but it felt different now. this was no longer just an act of learning—it was something more.

his hand slid down your back, pulling you closer, and you allowed yourself to fall into him, your fingers gripping his shirt. your reaction wasn't the same as a human's, but you felt something stirring deep within you—something that felt good, that made your senses tingle in a way you hadn't expected. a kind of pleasure that came from the trust he had in you, from him allowing you to be close in this way.

the kiss deepened, his hand moving to the back of your neck, gently urging you closer, and that's when you felt it again—another shiver, this time a little more pronounced. you understood, or at least you thought you did. this was the way humans experienced the connection, the building intensity. but it wasn't just the act itself—it was the trust he placed in you, the way he was teaching you to please him, that made something inside you stir. you didn't need to fully understand it to feel it.

"you're... you're trusting me," you murmured, pulling away slightly, breathless, but not from exertion—instead, it was from the closeness, the deepening connection. "that's... enough. for me."

nanami's chest tightened, his eyes searching yours. his lips parted to say something, but the words escaped him. his hand reached for your cheek again, this time with less hesitation. "you... you're learning," he said softly, his voice rough with something that felt like appreciation, admiration.

he leaned in, his lips brushing your ear as his hands moved to your waist. "i'm going to show you everything, but only if you're ready," he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

"because this... won't be simple, but you deserve to know."

you nodded, the sense of pleasure growing not from the physical closeness, but from the trust he was offering. you had asked for this, but you realized now that it wasn't just about learning the physical act—it was about being trusted with a piece of his heart, a part of him he rarely let anyone see.

it was terrifyingly clear that you were not only designed to be a companion and help, but also a tool for pleasure, and it pained nanami to think that someone else could’ve had you and used you for something less than humanising. he reeled the ugly thoughts into the back of his mind as he lead you into the bedroom, adoring the surprised squeaks you let out every time you bumped into something.

once in the bedroom, his hands trailed up to your back, spreading wide on the fabric covered surface, hoping that you felt its warmth on your skin. fingers nimbly catching onto the straps of your camisole as he slowly tugged them down, his breath hitching at the sight of your exposed chest. he had seen it before; the incident in the shower and the fact that you had no shame, comfortably changing your clothes right in front of him anytime you needed to also allowed him to see it, but those times he was modest enough to turn around.

now he was free to explore just like you were, his hands roaming all over your body as he nodded for you to take off his clothes too. your hands expertly removed his button up, attentive eyes glancing up at him every once in a while to catch any changes on his face, but his sort expression was constant.

as he laid you down in his bed, eyes never leaving you as he pressed kisses everywhere he could. on your neck, silently wondering if he can bruise the flawless skin; over your chest, sucking on your nipples as he groaned, feeling your fingers thread through his tresses. he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking: always steady on the field, never a hint of waver in them, they were now hesitating to not accidentally hurt you even though he knew that it wouldn’t be possible. he allowed himself to lay his weight on top of you, feeling your whole body against his.

so warm, so soft despite the faint mechanical hum that accompanied your every moment, barely audible under your synthetic muscle layer and beautiful skin. nanami brushed your hair away from your face as he stared at you, taking in your curiously fluttering lashes, the glistening plump of your pink lips, the way you held him just as close.

his cock, already painfully hard, brushed against your thigh, pressing on the plush surface as he grunted, willing himself to be a little more patient, but you didn’t make it easier.

“you can do whatever you want to me.”

nanami’s eyes widened, brows furrowed together as he hovered over you. he swallowed down roughly before his hands travelled down, lifting your thighs up with ease as he folded them against your chest. the sudden change in position didn’t startle you as you continued to breathe in sync with him, watching him as if analyzing his behaviour.

you looked even prettier down there. so pretty in fact that he lost any ability to think like the proper gentleman he was, all of his manners flying out of the window because of one look at your glistening pussy. pink, shiny with your arousal, so inviting and welcoming, nanami couldn’t help himself.

he pushed in, slow and experimental at first, voice stuck in his throat from how tight and warm you felt inside, immediately sucking him in as if it was second nature for you. his hips stuttered as he pushed in deeper, marveling at the sound of the moan you let out, his head snapping up to look at you.

you looked like an angel. brows a little furrowed, doe eyes trained down where your bodies were connected, pouty lips slightly ajar, mesmerised by the sight as you processed it all, engraving it all into your mind to remember forever. nanami groaned, leaning in to kiss you, which you reciprocated immediately, with eagerness that was unmatched. eager to be one with him, to connect with him on such a level.

you smiled into the kiss and pulled away to look at him, that soft little smile that made him lose his composure every time he was exposed to it, and nanami felt the crumbles of his resolve leaving him as he started grinding his hips, rolling them in a way that made his head spin because you seemed to tighten even more.

"i feel so full... so completed," you whispered, your voice laced with something new, something unfamiliar but overwhelming. it's not just data, not just a programmed response. it's real.

you’re real.

nanami's breath hitched. his jaw tightened, his hands faltering where they rested on your hips whilst his own snapped into them with renown fervor. "don't say things like that, i—" his voice was hoarse, strained, "i won't be able to hold back if you do, my love."

your fingers curled around his biceps, pulling him closer. his body was so warm, so solid, so human. you didn’t understand why it made you tremble.

"please, kento."

his grip on you tightened. his forehead pressed against yours, eyes shut as if he was fighting something deep within himself. you tilted your head, lips barely brushing against his, a breath away from something irreversible.

"please what?" he murmured, his voice thick with restraint, with need.

your hands trailed up his chest, fingers pressing into his skin like you were trying to map out every inch of him, every piece of the man who's made you feel something beyond your code.

"don't hold back."

a sharp exhale. then, everything snapped.

nanami's mouth was on yours before you could process it, his kiss desperate, consuming. his hands were firm, guiding, pulling you flush against him, and you melted into it, into him. his warmth is intoxicating, his touch reverent, almost worshipful as he pressed you down against the bed.

"you don’t know what you do to me." he breathed against your lips, his hands splaying across your waist, his body caging yours beneath him.

you met his lips with unwavering certainty, accepting all of him in.

—

the next morning, nanami woke up to the smell of something burning.

this was strange for two reasons:

one, nanami never burned food.

two, you didn’t eat food.

he sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face before pushing himself out of bed. you were also absent, which could mean only one thing.

when he entered the kitchen, he stopped in the doorway.

you stood at the stove, staring down at a pan of what might have once been eggs but was now a charred, unrecognizable mess. there was flour on the counter, a cracked egg dripping onto the floor, and, for some reason, a carton of milk placed upside down.

nanami pressed his fingers to his temple. “what,” he said slowly, “are you doing?”

you glanced over your shoulder at him. “making breakfast.”

he looked at the disaster zone that used to be his kitchen. “…why?”

you hesitated. your fingers twitched against the handle of the pan.

“because,” you said, and there was something almost shy in the way you said it, “i love you.”

nanami’s breath caught.

you turned fully to face him, stepping away from the stove. “humans cook for those they love,” you explained. “i have been analyzing behavioural patterns in romantic relationships, and this is a common way of expressing affection. therefore, i made you breakfast.”

nanami stared at you. then at the ruins of his kitchen. then back at you.

he exhaled.

he stepped forward, carefully taking the pan from your hands and setting it in the sink. then, just as carefully, he cupped your face in both hands and tilted your chin up slightly so you were looking right at him.

“you don’t have to be human to love me,” he said softly.

your lips parted slightly, eyes scanning his face. “…but i want to,” you admitted.

nanami’s expression softened.

he pressed his forehead against yours, his thumbs stroking slow circles against your jaw.

“i don’t need you to be,” he murmured.

he felt your fingers curl against his wrists, your body leaning ever so slightly into his.

your voice was quiet when you said, “i just want to make you happy.”

nanami swallowed past the sudden tightness in his throat.

you didn’t realize that you already did.

—

shoko called him in the middle of the night. it’s been a while since they last talked however nanami’s wasn’t really bothered. he didn’t want to disclose anything happening between him and you to shoko anyway, and lying wasn’t necessary when he could just avoid speaking to her altogether.

he almost didn’t answer. he was exhausted, content in a way he hadn’t been in years, with you resting beside him, your body warm despite the fact that you didn’t need to be. he had thought about getting up, about going to his desk to finish the report he had left unfinished earlier, but then you shifted closer to him in your sleep—if it could be called that—and he found himself unable to move.

but the phone rang again, and he knew it was important.

he slipped out of bed carefully, making sure not to disturb you, and stepped into the living room before answering.

“what?” his voice was gruff, irritated. he didn’t want to be on this call.

shoko sighed on the other end. “i need you to listen carefully, nanami.”

his stomach tightened. “what happened?”

“the project’s been compromised.”

the words didn’t sink in right away. he rubbed his temple, exhaustion pressing down on him. “what do you mean?”

“someone got in. an enemy, a mole, we’re not sure yet. but your android—”

he clenched his jaw. “don’t call her that.”

a pause. shoko exhaled. “nanami.”

he didn’t want to hear it.

but she said it anyway.

“you have to turn her off.”

the world tilted.

his fingers tightened around the phone. “no.”

“it’s not safe,” she said, softer now. “whoever got into her system could be using her to gather intel on the agency, on you. we don’t know the extent of the breach, and if we didn’t act now, things could get worse.”

nanami shook his head, breath unsteady. “there has to be another way.”

“there isn’t.”

he pressed a hand over his mouth, shutting his eyes. he could hear you shifting in the bedroom, probably wondering where he had gone.

this wasn’t fair.

after all those months, after finally letting himself accept what you were to him, what he felt—this was how it ended? this was where it had come to? when he had finally felt at ease, felt like he belonged with someone after so many years of loneliness he tried to bury inside of himself?

shoko spoke again, her voice quieter. “i know this is hard.”

no, she didn’t.

“but it’s the only way.”

he stayed silent for a long time. there wasn’t a word in his mind that could make this all better, change the trajectory of this situation, and the lump in his throat was too big for him to get anything proper out.

then, finally, he breathed, “…okay.”

nanami found you sitting up in bed, waiting for him. you blinked up at him, that same curious expression on your face. looking so innocent, so sweet; completely unaware of what was about to come. to be fair, he didn’t want to think about the next few minutes either.

“you were gone,” you said.

he nodded slowly. “i had a call.”

you tilted your head, sensing something off. “is everything okay?”

no.

“yeah,” he lied.

you studied him for a moment, then smiled softly and reached out for him. “come back to bed, kento.”

his chest ached.

nanami moved toward you, sitting beside you on the bed. you didn’t hesitate to lean into him, resting your head against his shoulder. he took in the details of you—the way you fit against him so perfectly, the warmth of you despite your artificial body, the way you made him feel like he was human again.

nanami sat in front of you, hands clasped so tightly they ached. you looked at him with that same curious expression, eyes scanning his face like you were trying to decipher something he wasn’t saying. maybe you were.

he had spent so long pretending his heart wasn’t already tangled up in you. that you were just a machine, an anomaly in his life, something temporary. but now, as he watched you, as shoko’s words echoed in his mind—her system has been compromised. you have to turn her off—he felt something inside him crack.

it would be so easy to ignore it. to be selfish. to pretend this wasn’t a risk, that keeping you by his side wouldn’t lead to something worse. but nanami had never been the kind of man who chose his own desires over his duty. he had always walked the responsible path, always done what needed to be done, no matter how much it hurt.

you shifted, looking up at him. “kento?”

he cupped your cheek, thumb brushing over your skin. you smiled at the touch, eyes closing for a moment before opening again. a smooth, graceful movement that could be faintly heard if not for his heartbeat that stung his ears, painfully loud and clear.

he leaned in.

the kiss was slow, lingering, filled with something he’d never be able to say out loud. you sighed against his lips, melting into him, and for a moment, he let himself believe this didn’t have to end. that this was the moment he was going to wake up and hug your body closer, nuzzle his face into your neck.

but then he pulled back, pressing his forehead to yours.

his hand drifted to the nape of your neck.

your peaceful expression faltered slightly as you felt his fingers there, grazing over the small switch embedded beneath synthetic skin.

“kento?”

he exhaled shakily, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“i’m sorry.”

your eyes widened, and for the first time, he saw fear in them.

“kento, wait—”

click.

your body went still. your head fell forward, resting against his chest, the glow of the small circle on your temple fading to nothing. the desperation in your voice as you cried his name echoed in his mind.

nanami didn’t move.

his arms tightened around you, pulling you against him, but you didn’t respond. your weight was there, your warmth lingered, but you didn’t move. you didn’t breathe.

he swallowed hard. carefully, almost desperately, he shifted you in his arms, pressing his ear against your chest.

silence.

there was no heartbeat. no mechanical hum. nothing.

his fingers curled into the fabric of your shirt. his breath shuddered.

“no,” he whispered, his voice cracking.

his body betrayed him, trembling as he clutched you tighter, like he could will you back to life, like he could force the warmth in your skin to mean something.

but you were silent.

and nanami, for the first time in his life, broke.

—

the days after you’re gone blur into one long, empty haze.

nanami returned to his routine, to the reports, the paperwork, the cold, familiar rhythm of his life without you. but it was different now. it was quieter.

he didn’t sleep as much, didn’t eat as much, and he found himself staring at his phone sometimes, wondering if the call was just a bad dream. wondering if you were still there, somewhere, hidden behind the walls of his memories.

it’s been weeks since that night, and the silence was unbearable.

he sat in his office one afternoon, staring at the paperwork in front of him but not seeing any of it. his fingers moved automatically, filling in the blanks, making calculations, signing documents with the same detached precision he’s always had.

a knock on the door.

“nanami?”

shoko stood in the doorway, her arms crossed. she looked at him with a mixture of sympathy and something else—something harder, colder.

“shoko,” he murmured, not looking up.

“how are you holding up?”

he didn’t answer immediately. he didn’t want to answer.

“you’ve been distant,” she observed, walking in and sitting across from him. “even for you, that’s saying something.”

he looked up at her, tired eyes meeting hers, but he didn’t speak. he didn’t know what to say anymore.

shoko sighed. “i saw the reports. i saw everything from her… eyes.”

nanami’s throat tightened. it would’ve been embarrassing if not for the fact that it didn’t matter anymore.

“her system may be shut off,” she continued, voice gentle, “but the data—everything she saw, heard, and recorded—it’s all there. i’ve reviewed it, nanami. you know i did.”

he didn’t respond.

shoko’s gaze softened for just a moment before she leaned forward, her voice quieter now. “i want to know what could make a man like you so… broken over a machine.”

he clenched his jaw, his hands gripping the edge of his desk as he finally looked her in the eye.

“don’t,” he said quietly. “don’t make it sound like she was just a machine, shoko.”

she raised an eyebrow. “wasn’t she?”

“no.”

there’s a long silence between them, and for the first time, nanami felt the weight of everything he’s been avoiding—the overwhelming pain, the deep loss.

he finally spoke, voice strained. “she was more than just… data. she was… real to me. she made me feel like i mattered.”

his words hung heavy in the air.

shoko watched him carefully, no longer asking the usual clinical questions. she let him speak.

“i didn’t know… i didn’t know how much i needed that.” he exhaled shakily, running a hand through his hair. “i didn’t know how much i needed her.”

shoko didn’t say anything at first. she didn’t need to. she watched him as the weight of his grief presses down on him, and she understood.

“you’re not the only one who got attached, nanami,” she said quietly. “she may have been a machine, but she felt things. maybe not the way we do, but… she did.”

nanami pressed his lips together, fighting the lump in his throat. he knew that. he knew you were feeling things you weren’t supposed to feel either, an error that was not typical for soulless artificial intelligence, but it happened and it made you happy. nanami did.

“i never thought it would be like this,” he admitted. “i never thought i would feel like this about something so… artificial.”

shoko stood, giving him a long look before turning toward the door.

“you’ll heal,” she said simply. “but it’s gonna take time. and in the meantime… you don’t have to do it alone.”

as the door clicked shut behind her, nanami sat there, staring at the empty space where you once were. the silence was deafening, but this time, he knew it was something he had to face.

maybe one day, he’ll find a way to move on. but for now, he’ll hold onto the memories of you—of her—and let that be enough.

[lmo82]

How L is with N vs A

With N

-the looks he would give her during the whole tour

-always touching/cuddling

-always holding hands and L will bring her hand even closer to him, like towards his legs more or in Brazil his Crotch…lol

-Always being body guard Luke

-Pulls her closer to his body, like in Italy WT pictures

-they share drinks and utensils like couples do

-interviewers believe they are really in love.  The one gasp from the reporter when N caresses L hair

-they both talk about how much they love each other 

-L meeting N family.  This one is HUGE for me and the one I always go back to.  N sister crying when Mom and L hug.  SIL snapping her fingers, while patting N’s brother on the chest.  Mom nodding her head approvingly as she walks back to her seat.  And in another video it shows N wiping away tears as her mom and L hug.  

-L wouldn’t let go of N hand at the London premiere

-the ring, enough said there

-As an add on N mentioning people wanting her to marry L in Time.  She also mentions her dad who has passed and she rarely talks about him.  To me it seems like she is mentioning the two most important men in her life in a very very important article about herself

How L is with A

-NYE kiss, where maybe they were drunk and then apparently a simple kiss the next day at a tennis court(have not seen this one). This was pre WT so to me it doesn’t even need to be including per say, but doing it anyway

-she was on friend trips with L, never seemed alone, even if that was alluded to

-Was at both premieres but L avoided her, even when she tried holding his hand…claw grasp anyone? 

-A was at GQ event with R and S too.  All pictures of them together he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else

-In Sorrento he was Lifeguard Luke *

-in videos he doesn’t know he is being recorded he avoids her, like not being near each other for Rs birthday cake video or the recent Boss event bts footage

-Didn’t see them around each other since July until recently.  Just pictures alluding to them being around each other 

-Boss event where after helping her out of the car let’s go of her hand and it looked awkward.

-Inside Boss event they did look close and laughing and hands on each others backs.*

-like stated above though, bts video of the event shows that after they walked into the event they weren’t close to each other.  Another bts video of them getting drinks again not close, in fact L seem to keep his drink in his right hand to keep the space between them

In conclusion how he is with N screams love and couple.  The only thing that says couple with A are the two on my list with the * .  And both those times it appears they knew they were being filmed.  Now I don’t know why N and L would go to this trouble to pretend to be in relationships with others.  Not going to address JD because that one isn’t worth a breakdown If you look at his friends and SM.   On the other hand I don’t understand why the world tour would all be PR either…especially with N family involved.  A lot of what we got from, N and L was from the WT, so people want to ignore it as PR…I don’t.  Yesterday I kind of went down that path and it doesn’t make sense.  It just doesn’t.  So if we believe that the WT was them being them, we need to realize that 2 somewhat displays of affection between L and A are not even close to the levels we got from L and N.  Why are we holding more weight to those 2 displays.  Especially when L has never confirmed that is his girlfriend.  And the few articles written have always been about promoting A.  I know to the outside or more “realist” people we seem conspiracy level nuts, but we are looking at the big picture imo.

[kaisaerinlover]

kaiser x very tragic and isolated reader. and innocent. and idk how else to describe this but yeah just read ok

he’s a bit ooc here especially for my writing cause he’s being nice

you don’t feel like you have any purpose, you’re a girl in a world full of people with so many talents. so much beauty and so much of, well, everything. but you’ve never fit into that. never had anything of your own. you are you, isolated little you. every day you’ve lived has been to please others, you don’t ever recall actually living a life of your own volition at all. everything is for everyone else, or was, it’s for kaiser now.

he’s glad he found you, because he likes you a lot. you’re similar to him, after all. maybe not in the way you’d imagine. you’re isolated, because you have no one. you were used by everyone around you for whatever personal gain they had and discarded again after as if you were some sort of tool and not more than that. he’s isolated because he thrives in restriction, thrives in loneliness, thrives from the idea that nobody likes him and he’s a piece of shit; because that’s all he grew up knowing anyway.

he likes that you have no friends, likes that you’re the same as him. likes that he can have you to himself, in his own sick way. he knows it’s wrong but he can’t help it. he remembers when he first met you and you were nothing more than an empty shell counting down the days until you finally disappear. any outsider would consider it a curse that someone like kaiser entered your life at such a fragile and tender time; a time when you’re so clearly depressed and suffering, but you deem it a blessing. he remembers the dates you would go on, the love bombing and manipulating he did, that never seemed to work as intended on you. you were just so grateful for everything he did in general, so happy, so eager to please. it was endearing. you’re really his first love, he can promise you that. you’re the first person who really ever opened his heart up. and, he hates admitting it but, the first person he’s ever truly pitied.

he’s sorry for you, real sorry in fact. sorry that you feel the way you do, that you are the way you are. you don’t even allow him to give you as much affection as he’d sometimes like to. and it angers him a bit. he’s not one for these things, so the fact you deny him of them sometimes when it’s exceedingly rare of him to be so kind pisses him off. but it also makes him like you more. and pity you more. and loathe himself more. he likes taking you out for a stroll in the quaint little countryside town he moved you both to (he prefers the isolation he has with his huge mansion a bit further off the road from the village), he likes it. and you’re so in awe every time, without a doubt. big eyes looking around at everything curiously. he feels sorry for you, really really fucking sorry. so new to the world and everything to do with it. he has one memory in particular he’s fond of.

when he brought you out into the village for the first time and you excitedly ran and started picking flowers from someone’s garden. “you can’t pick those, those aren’t public property” he chastised you. and you didn’t listen, you just handed him the handful of tulips you just plucked from the ground of some poor old couple’s front garden and hopped over to the next one to pick some more. he mentally sighed but god your naïveté was so endearing, it still is. he’s always reminded that you’re living for the first time too, but maybe not just in terms of just existence. you’re experiencing life for the first time, he can tell you’ve never lived for yourself before. simply kept inside and made to abide by whatever it was everyone had you doing before. he hasn’t much context on your family, or whatever bunch of people it was that you lived with before him. but he knows they aren’t nice since the first time he met you you were preoccupied with obeying whatever orders they barked at you. you looked so empty, you were at a shopping centre carrying everything. he remembers seeing you so often around town with these people, looking so empty and doing their bidding, he just had to have you for himself. he likes pathetic things, but now he realises maybe he’s the pathetic one for you. he’s entranced by your innocence. he likes crushing beautiful things beneath his thumb; would gladly spit on a flower and stamp on it, so he’s not sure why his psyche is constantly making him be oh so fucking kind to you.

he remembers that same day you vandalised the poor village folks gardens, you sat on top of the roof of the church clocktower, in front of the huge ticking hands of time, doing nothing but eating rusk and ice creams. his hand over yours and your hair blowing in the wind. you were so fascinated by the sunset, how the sky changed colour into something so impossibly beautiful. you were just so enamoured by everything; such innocence is refreshing. his heart actually skipped a few beats. you stared at the sunset which was so astonishing and new to you after so many years of whatever the fuck it was you were doing (he doesn’t want to know, he can’t let himself feel even more pity for you, too many human emotions felt by him and he’s sure he’d explode) but all he could look at was the tragically beautiful girl next to him.

he tried to invite you out more after that, and he can’t forget what you told him. you looked up at him and smiled, a sad smile if he’s being honest, and all you said was “don’t worry, this was more than enough for someone like me”. someone like you, he hates the way it rolled off of your tongue so naturally. it sounds like a curse. someone like you. everyone deserves a break, you don’t even think you deserve it. god. he hates the fact it actually twists his insides and makes them churn so disgustingly. he remembers when he finally helped you escape whatever life it was you were living before too, how you insisted he didn’t have to, how the memories of your very very few escapades out were enough to tide you over for the rest of your life, hell, even all of eternity if you were to live that long. he wasn’t having it. maybe he saw himself in you, someone who needed help and just never received it. when he was living with his piece of shit dad still, he knows he would have loved some help. he remembers when he stopped merely existing and started living for himself. the feeling is liberating; maybe he wants to give you that liberation too. but you’ll never do that, it’s fine though, you live for him and it’s more than enough.

you’re really tragic. even kaiser admits that. you’re still as kind and sweet as the day he met you years ago. and it’s just sad, because sometimes he’s so mean with you. but he really cares about you, he does. that’s why he’s scratching your head now as you’re laid on him drawing something random on a notebook he bought for you. he bought you some colours from the village and a book and told you to go wild, and you did. he doesn’t even know why he did that, he likes hiding behind a facade of luxury. spoiling his girls rotten, giving them whatever expensive brand he saw first and showering them in gifts worth more than their entire family combined. but he doesn’t want to with you. it’s not that he doesn’t want to spoil you; the opposite actually. those gifts are just… not you. don’t get him wrong, you have a wardrobe of clothes that costed more than a pretty penny. but he’d rather get you items of sentiment. money also seems dirty to him, he’s not sure why that’s the association he holds with it. you’re pure; he doesn’t want to just turn you into some whore who’s obsessed with cash. a dirty slut. you’re too good for that. he thinks your childlike wonder of the world doesn’t suit this. and besides, your drawings are pretty cute. he likes watching you like this, watching you get so lost in something. seeing you have a bit of passion/a hobby. at first, he couldn’t quite get you to indulge yourself in anything at all, not even something as simple as doodling on paper. you always just gave him that mellow look and shook your head. he remembers when he first handed you the colours and book: “micha i don’t need it, don’t worry, i just wanna be useful to you” he hated that answer. he’s not even sure why.

he doesn’t know why he cares so much. he’s staring at your head so hard whilst in thought he’s surprised you haven’t noticed it yet. well, you have, you’re just pretending you don’t know. you don’t want to bother him.

he’s never cared so deeply about anything before other than football. he’s heartless. he’s not human so he shouldn’t have any feelings remotely similar to human emotions. this doesn’t align with the warmness in his heart he feels when he looks down at you drawing away to that sweet heart of yours’ content. and he just audibly growls in frustration. man, every fibre of his being is telling him he needs to take care of you and treat you right, and he agrees with it, that’s the worst part. you perk up at his growl and look up at him. and he just takes your notebook off of you along with the pens, puts them down on the table and grabs your hand. you know where you’re going, so you walk with him to the door to slip your shoes on too.

it’s evening now, and you’re sitting in front of the clock again. ticking away. watching the perfectly orange sky as the sun slowly descends ready to be replaced by the moon. licking away at a popsicle. both of you wrapped in one of kaiser’s coats. doing the same stupid routine as always. you looking in awe at the beauty of the world, the universe in general. and him looking in awe over the beauty of you. it’s like the sun only rises and falls to kiss your face with all of its light. you’re so pretty like this, hair falling down your face slightly and your face glowing in the radiant light. he likes the routine (though he hates admitting it). it’s comfy for him. the public thinks he’s some put together luxurious princeling, which is true he supposes. but with you he doesn’t have to. he feels… poor again. in a weirdly comforting way. sitting in front of the huge church’s clock, where you both definitely aren’t allowed to be sitting. licking at some cheap popsicle he bought from the small supermarket. holding your hand and admiring you. this feels like the most real version of him, and he’s glad he can show it around you.

as he snaps out of his thoughts, he notices you looking at him. big eyed with popsicle dripping a little down your mouth, so he reaches out with his thumb to wipe it away. god, he’s almost melting in his spot. he tries to conceal it, but he can’t be sure if he’s doing a good job or not. he hates how you’re the first person to make him feel like he’s in his puppy love phase all over again; he’s fucked countless women, had so many escapades you wouldn’t believe it, so much psychology books read and embedded into his brain, so much control over his stimuli, so good at pretending he doesn’t care. but with you he simply can’t. “thanks for this” you say. your voice is smooth as honey in his ears “for doing this for someone like me.” he hates when you say that. he just sighs and moves a little of your pretty hair behind your ear. “anything for you” it’s true. he would do anything for you. anything for someone like you, he knows it even more as you giggle at his simple action.

he’s more similar to you than either of you think, never quite believing you’re human and worth much. kaiser referring to himself as a subhuman, and you always dancing around the subject. “someone like me”. bullshit, kaiser thinks.

you shuffle a bit towards him and cup his cheek to kiss him, blushing the whole time as you do it. and he’s taken aback too, still kissing you back though. you’ve done this countless times but there isn’t a single kiss that doesn’t make him feel butterflies inside. not a single kiss for you either that doesn’t make your stomach fold in on itself. as he kisses your sweet lips he can’t help but to think about how he wants to take you out more. to see more places, more dates, more of the world. he wants to spoil you with life. he wants you to live, he wants you to feel as liberated as he felt the first time he discovered soccer. he wants to fix you.

and you are slowly fixing him too. it’s funny, you’re both so human and you both have trouble accepting that. both so human and both so deserving of love. both need to live for themselves, but there’s always going to be room for the other in this dynamic.

that’s something you can both agree on. both of you thinking of the other as your head rests on top of his that’s laid on your shoulder looking at the sky ahead. it’s comforting, two humans, breathing in sync, thoughts in sync, seeing the same thing, holding hands. a love so pure, purity michael kaiser didn’t even know he could welcome into his life. but he doesn’t mind, he likes it. you like it too, love you didn’t think you’d ever be able to accept before, here in your hands.

as mean as he tries to act, as evil as he might be, unfortunately he just can’t quite bring himself to fully commit to it when it comes to you. when he’s around you.

and you, albeit a little stupid at times, recognise this. and maybe, just maybe, it makes you feel happy inside. selfishly happy. maybe living for kaiser is like living for yourself, you’re like one soul divided into two bodies. he agrees.

[mournmage]

A lot of people have tagged this with the sentiment of "yeah the actual betrayal for me was that he didn't ask my pro mage Hawke who's been with him the entire time on the same side of the fight to help him" and just. I need to make this very clear since this is my post:

I (along with my Hawke) did not view that as a betrayal either. Communication breakdown absolutely, among other things. But not betrayal.

It isn't a betrayal to me when the game makes it pretty clear both explicitly and via subtext that Anders does not tell Hawke or involve them beyond lying about gathering bomb ingredients because he is trying to protect them. It is one thing to Want to involve them, it is another to actually do it and to put them in the same danger he knows this will put him in. Hawke's status is mentioned multiple times both via codex and by Meredith herself to be the one thing protecting Anders from being taken by Templars and it's ALSO the only thing protecting a mage!Hawke as well. If Anders directly involves them at all beyond the small part he already asks for, he's risking not only himself but them as well. And idk man, I really cannot find it in me to blame him to want to spare Hawke the backlash this is guarenteed to cost him especially when you remember what happened to Karl at the very beginning of all of this too.

Lying to Hawke and all that about the bomb ingredients? Thinking that Hawke will want him dead because blowing up the Chantry and doing something so radical is unforgivable? That I can understand being viewed as a betrayal especially of Hawke's trust. (Even then I'm Personally more willing to forgive them because being that mentally ill and suffering that many years from systemic oppresion is bound to affect your more rational thinking.)

But not involving Hawke more because he loves them and wants to protect them? Not a betrayal to me. Never could be.

Thinking this afternoon about how so many people who romanced Anders considered him blowing up the Chantry to be a betrayal and how that just. Never really clicked for me to call it that. Because so explicitly So many times over the relationship he tells you this will be messy and never easy and at one point even explicitly says some things are bigger than he and Hawke's relationship and it is just. So clear that he loves them but they can't and won't stop him. And I cannot feel betrayed at all when he was upfront about that consistantly tbh.

[lukeynewtssimp]

About Luke’s character getting questioned…

Okay, it seems I am going to be taking on the role of Luke and Nic’s defender this week because people are seriously pissing me off!

I am seeing a lot of people questioning Luke’s character and say that they feel deceived by Nic and everybody who ever said that this man was a kind gentleman who respects women. Why? Because they cannot reconcile this image of him with what they know now which is that he’s had a girlfriend for the past year that he only now was comfortable publicly claiming.

First of all, we have seen her around him for over a year now. He never hid her existence but he did keep his relationship status with her private. We do not know them, for all we know, their relationship could have been casual up until recent months and he only now felt comfortable being public with her. It is not up to you to tell somebody that you don’t even know when they should feel ready to come out and publicly claim their relationships. Especially not after he went through a very public breakup with his ex-girlfriend, he may have felt now that he needed to really make sure the relationship is solid before making it public and official.

Second of all, you do not have any idea how the hate and scrutiny they both faced during the summer has affected their relationship and maybe they needed to protect that for a while and work through it before they were both ready to make it public. It was very clear in that video of them arriving to the event last night that they were both nervous, especially Antonia, she straight up looked terrified and who can blame her after all the hate she received?

Third of all, Nic also was with Jake in some capacity since May or even April and only made it public in recent months. Neither her or Luke deserve any hate for protecting their relationships until they felt ready for the public.

[midnightsun-if]

In the new update will we still get some family content too?

You absolutely will! On the plane ride specifically, the very first series of scenes in the upcoming update, you'll get a variety of chances to talk about your family (or to them directly). One of said options will be a few emails that you can decide to check that I had a lot of fun writing; especially as it'll give you a full overlook at the siblings' personalities compared to each other.

Christian's email, for instance, is titled: WHY YOU SUCK -- A Comprehensive Analysis (NOT a Pun)

Dear Most Annoying Sibling,

Congratulations! You have once again outdone yourself in the grand tradition of being a nuisance. I am writing to formally lodge a complaint; Cienna has already taken the official 'intimidating older sibling' role, and I feel my efforts in this regard are unappreciated. Especially since I do not have a glare that could make Antarctica seem like a nice location for a summer vacation.

First of all, why did you let Blake "borrow" my leather jacket? You're aware that the half-incubus you call a best friend has absolutely no control when it comes to his appetite, right? He returned it smelling like garlic. GARLIC! Do you know how hard it is to get that smell out? DO YOU? It lingers. It haunts me. I swear I can still smell it on my pillow, in my socks, and in my dreams. I have tried everything. Febreze? Laughable. Vinegar? Now it just smells like pickled garlic. Sunshine? Now I have a warmed garlic stench following me everywhere. I'm like a walking breadstick and not in a fun way.

People are staring. Not in the way I typically enjoy either. A guy at the café this morning sniffed the air, like some sort of bloodhound, and whispered, "Do you smell that?" like I was some kind of culinary cryptid.

Secondly, and this is the most egregious offense, I know you stole the last blood bag from the private stash in the lounge. That was mine. I licked it. It had my name on it. I hope it tasted like guilt.

Please fix your life choices immediately.

With begrudging affection,

Christian

P.S. I hope you have a nice time at Aurelian Academy and that everyone treats you well. Even if you are a bloody thief.

Compared to Cienna's email simply titled: Checking In.

Or Persephone's titled: A Little Joy to Share.

[somewillwin]

Hey, how are you doing? I’m wondering what do you have in mind for Vi during the period of the divorce era and their attempt at only friendship afterwards, can you share with us a bit more about that? I wonder what might be going on with her and if Cait can feel anything about Vi that gives her pause or confuses her about all this besides the tattoos. And will the tattoos be the same since she got all of them in stillwater in the main universe? I’m really curious about it bc rn it feels like she is "forced" (for lack of a better word) to feel uncomfortable sensations that make her miserable/heartbroken/sad/angry 80% of her time lmao I was just reading another ask you received and I think it’s fair for Cait to feel disheartened that Vi can't see her true intentions and beliefs when it comes to her decision to become an enforcer, esp since this is on 2x07 au universe and to her Vi has contact with ppl like Grayson in the AU and we know what Grayson, an enforcer and sheriff, means to Cait as a mentor but it’s also completely fair for Vi to feel strongly averse to this given the way she had to deal with loss and violence from a very young age because of enforcers and how this affected and traumatized her and also her family, especially her sister, and we know how Vi works when it comes to that Imo it’s pretty justifiable that Vi would have a hard time understanding why her soulmate would want to be part of this group when she know what happened to her and how much that still affects her even if Vander/Cassandra/Grayson are making progress regarding that and in the au things are not nearly as dire as it is in the main canon at this point (also hextech and shimmer doesn't exist and that changes a lot of things too) I feel it’s much more complicated them just x made more sacrifices than y so they deserve more or they deserve less because of it. Plus these two are teenagers or young adults in love who still don't really know how to navigate their emotions properly in a divided world. And it's a world where Vi has more to lose in a broader aspect. I think Cait motivations to become an enforcer are, among others, exactly to bridge this gap in an everlasting manner. Imo she sees it as a way to change things permanently. "What (who) are you shooting for, young Kiramman?". If we agree or not, or if we'd do the same or not, it's up to us individually but from what I understand what we're talking about here is not that but what Cait and Vi think given their circumstances at this point of the story Also I'm really curious to see the parents but most of all the siblings (of both sides) reaction to the mess these two are creating with their miscommunication even tho they are soulmates lol but I bet their bond will be even stronger by the end when they are more mature and have a better understand of themselves and of each other. Apologies for the really long text!! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

Well vi is gonna be mostly fighting with herself here, and lashing out and getting her tattoos. I don’t plan for her to start drinking cause she’s baby still and I want her to be happy. She’s just conflicted and needs to figure out what does she wants.

Maybe I’ll get her to date Gert during the friendship era after the divorce… she just wants to know how it feels with other people, if maybe she can be happy or love someone else like that. (Both of them have Grayson and Cassandra as example that you can be soulmates and not being together, but also remain on each others lives, not like Vander and Silco)

It obvs doesn’t work cause they are in love so they can’t force themselves to love someone else, specially when they are still meetin regularly during their friendship era….

Oh also… shimmer does exists in this AU. The barons and shimmer are still a big point of conflict in this AU. The barons like to give Vander problems and try to mess up this “peace” that Vander and Cassandra have been able to build fighting the council, and anything could tip the council into a direction that would put everything at risk like it was before.

(Vander is not on the council btw, he is just considered as the leader of Zaun by them)

The thing about cait as a character and that I didn’t want to change in this AU. Is her sense of justice… how important it is to her. She wants to protect people and she feels like the enforcers are the best answer for that, BUT she has seen vi and her family and also has felt some of the abuse they are capable of, she is not ignorant to it. She know that joining them climbing in rank AND also because she is a kiramman…. She can change the enforcers, she does have the power to change them and what they stand for. To actually protect people from both Zaun and piltover, not just to protect the interests of the council.

She believes she can do that and she’s gonna work til she does it. She wanted vi to understand that’s why she was joining them and not because she thinks like them… but ofc vi trauma about the enforcers it’s A LOT… so she’s not able to understand that at this moment.

About the parents??? Lmaooo they are going through it.

Yes, both Vander and Cassandra advised them to take things slow after they met at the hospital. Warned them about the soulmate thing not always working out. THEY DIDNT EXPECT THEM TO TAKE IT AT A GLACIAL PACE THO.

Cassandra didn’t like AT ALL that cait joined the enforcers, she was even more pissed when cait came home with Maddie and introduced her as her girlfriend. Cassandra loves vi, she has seen how happy she makes caitlyn and like EVERYONE ELSE can see how much they love eachother. She can see how miserable cait is without vi and how she is forcing smiles and just… forcing feeling for Maddie.

Vander can see how miserable vi is and she can see going into an auto destructive state and that she is also hurting her soulmate with it. So she’s constantly giving her talks about the consequences of hurting your soulmate and yourself and that she could end up just breaking them beyond repair if she continues down that path. Vander has worked with Grayson for yeaaars so he has seen the good and the bad of the enforcers and keeps helping vi with this but is letting her keep her own path and trusting her to pick with her heart instead of her head. She has a good heart after all.

Th kids are just talking about their divorce and just… they are so done with both these idiots.

[plotthotrobin]

I’ve talked about the polite neutrality between the three lords during White Clouds, but I have another point about friendships in this game to make. The Golden Deer are the only house that feel like something close to an actual friend group to me - but that’s not a complaint or me saying that GD is objectively the best house. (There being a ‘best house’ actively defeats the point - and I actually like more of the students from the BE.) It’s just neat to compare and contrast.

Despite most of them having known one another from a young age, the Blue Lions feel more like the reunion of kids who played together during their parent’s work meetings. They’re stiff and awkward around each other a lot of the time despite being more familiar. They get along because they have to for the future of their kingdom. Hell, I think at least half of their interrelationships are at least initially born out of obligation. And that isn’t to diminish the sincerity of some of the friendships that do blossom, but that energy overall never really goes away. I think it reflects the tone/culture of Faerghus and Dimitri both really well, actually, since there are a lot of themes of tradition and doing what is socially expected of you.

The Black Eagles are kind of a weird mix of strangers and friends when they start out. I read them as being more individually isolated than the other two houses. Because the unspoken obligation of the BL’s isn’t there, this group falls into almost the opposite camp. Dorothea, Ferdinand, and Petra are on good terms with almost everyone - but aren’t actually close to anybody. Linhardt and Caspar are childhood friends of sorts, but a lot of it seems like the former merely tolerating the latter (especially during WC) - and neither of them are really close to anyone else. Bernadetta is… well, Bernadetta. Edelgard and Hubert are the one exception since they are very close, but even then they are princess and retainer - not ever really friends on an equal level, even though they have a deep love and respect for one another. The house as a whole, though, doesn’t feel very tight-knit. Again, none of this is a complaint. I can’t say much when it comes to Adrestia itself, but I do think it reflects a lot of Edelgard’s individualistic mindset on a personal level as well as her overall approach in Crimson Flower.

Other than Raphael and Ignatz, none of the Golden Deer seem to know each other by much more than name at the start of the game - which means that they’re all getting to know each other at the same time. I truly think that different foundation makes them growing together feels a little more organic in terms of friendship. I can easily see this group naturally sitting around a campfire and swapping funny stories. While, again, I can’t say much in terms of Leicester’s culture or anything, I think this works extremely well considering Claude’s whole thing is wanting to tear down walls and bring people together. It’s really nice to see. (Quick disclaimer: I don’t believe Claude truly sees them as his friends until post-timeskip during VW specifically, but do think most of the others view him as a friend pretty early on.)

It’s interesting how these setups affect their respective routes. 😊

[blusical]

Problematic Players and You

(PT: Problematic Players and You)

Trigger Warning: This post discusses several triggering or otherwise sensitive topics, including, but not limited to, abuse sexual assault, bigotry, and violence. Reader discretion is advised. Additional Disclaimer: This is not a post defending the actions of athletes mentioned *nor* is it an attack on said athletes (or their fans!). This is about dealing with serious events involving players as a whole.

Have you ever woke up one day and found out that your favorite race car driver said some not-so savory things? Have you ever checked the news one day and found out a hockey player you love was accused of rape? Are you a new sports fan who did research on an athlete you like only to find out they're a straight up creep? And have you ever asked yourself: “Where the hell do I go from here?” when it comes to merch you’ve already bought or the amount of gifsets you’ve made for them? Well, you’ve come to the right post! Because let’s face it, we’ve (probably) all been there, done that and got the t-shirt (Err, jersey). 

First off, what defines a problematic player?

Well... there's not really a set definition. Everyone has a different idea of what's 'problematic' and what isn't. However, there are some deeds that athletes do that are... kind of ick, so any of the following could make them be considered very problematic:

-Bigotry (ex. Racism, homophobia). -Cheating (as in cheating on your spouses. Not cheating as in using PEDs even though that too is also kinda trashy). -Abuse, sexual assault, etc. -Questionable/not so great political opinions.

And then there’s athletes who’ve been involved in so many off-ice controversies and allegations that it’s reached a point where regardless of how many are true or not, and no matter how much new information is revealed, they won’t be well liked by fans (Patrick Kane, anyone?). Okay, but why do athletes do this crap in the first place?

Well... there's a couple theories on why some do these things.

Sometimes mental and environmental factors can influence an athlete’s decision making. Say, if an athlete was abused by a coach when they were young, that might factor into any actions, good or bad, a player makes in the future. In cases of bigoted opinions, athletes are raised to have such opinions.

Age can also play a factor into a player’s actions. The younger they are, the more likely they’re going to do stupid shit (Or so I've noticed, please correct me if I'm wrong lmfao). Again. The theories are limitless. However most of the time athletes do these things because... they chose to do that. And a part of that is being because sports culture. Yeah. Sports culture sucks. Who would've known?

So do problematic athletes... stay problematic forever?

Well, yes and no.

As much as our first instinct is to “cancel” said athletes and pressure them to take accountability, we should also give them a chance to grow when they do take accountability instead of pushing the issue further.

However, that also depends on if they chose to grow. Hell, it depends if they even admit to making a mistake or admitting to guilt at all (which is, unfortunately, very impressive in a society like this). If they don’t.. Well, that’s their choice. Best we can do as fans beyond that point is just spread awareness. Remember: 99% of the time celebs won't listen to their fans. Some will. But do not expect your favorite to do the right thing. You will be disappointed. Another thing to keep in mind is that even if changes to character are made, people (us included) will still probably continue to view them differently for a while. As much as we’d like to put the past behind us, that just isn’t easy. (And besides, in the long term this is probably a good thing, since as fans it’s not our place to forgive; that’s up to the people affected). Actually while we’re at it..

Help! What should I do when an athlete (including my favorite) gets into controversy?

It’s always stressful (and sad) when an athlete you’ve admired and looked up to is eventually outed as a terrible person. It’s even more stressful when you’re a newer fan to sports and you just find out about said problematic deeds.

Well, first thing's first: process your emotions, and feelings. And once you're done crying, screaming, whatever action you're doing to process your feelings, spread awareness if you feel comfortable enough doing so. When spreading awareness though: DO RESEARCH AND ONLY SHARE RELIABLE SOURCES. Unfortunately serious allegations almost always have misinformation popping out. Hell, sometimes "allegations" may just be someone causing trouble on the internet (Corey Perry situation, anyone?). If the source is from a random Twitter user (that doesn't work in journalism), or the source is from a site like Deadspin and/or TMZ or any other site that has a history of clickbait, odds are, it's best to take it with a grain of salt. Team fansites (like RMNB, a Caps site) are also not always reliable, so take caution when reading through them as well.

It's better to stick with actually known sources like ESPN, Bleacher Report or a journalist like Elliotte Friedman. Rick Westhead and Katie Strang are really good journalists when it comes to issues relating to hockey. Additionally, do not expect to know *all* the information. Do not demand all information to come out. Sometimes not everything can be shared for legal reasons. Be patient and wait for everything to come out. And even then, don't expect it to be everything that happened (because again, legal reasons). Also, don't expect other people to talk about the incident in question! Do not guilt others into discussing it, do not force others to post about it. Focus on what you can do before focusing on what others can do! After most information (if not all of it), it's up to you to come to your own conclusions. Lastly, regardless of what your decision is, whether you decide to stop supporting them or you choose to believe they did nothing wrong (for any reason), but you're stuck on what to do anyway... Well... and this is probably anticlimactic I know, what to do is... up to you!

Internet wise, your internet space is your space! Your Tumblr blog is your blog! If you wanna stop posting about that player and also delete every single mention of said player outside of spreading awareness? Great! That’s your choice! Wanna keep said posts up but tag them and/or add a disclaimer! Also great! Wanna keep posting them or writing fics about them? Completely fine! Just tag it accordingly and keep in mind why these folks may not like said players. And *please* continue to be critical of said players when they do something wrong. Your favorite is not immune to criticism.

(In other words, yes Hawks fans, you’re allowed to post your Kane gifs and 1988 fics. Just tag it accordingly. And just know that people *will* probably judge you for it).

One thing you should not do however: DO NOT CENSOR NAMES. This fucks with filters and screenreaders (More in-depth post on this here!).

And because apparently this still needs to be said, don’t wish injury or death on the players and for the love of Wayne Gretzky don’t fucking send harassment to their families (seriously why do people do this fucking garbage holy fuck).

Secondly, don’t buy their jerseys or other merchandise from official sites! They will profit off that. If you've already brought it, don't just throw it out. Instead, leave it in storage, sell it or, if you're good at tailoring, try making something new out of it! Additionally (especially in cases of rape, violence, etc), SUPPORT THE VICTIMS INVOLVED. They need it the most.

What about the folks that continue to support said athletes?

If someone continues to post an athlete that’s done not great things, it’s tempting to educate them and tell them (which, if you’re going to do so, please tell them gently and not yell at them, especially if they’re a newer or younger fan who has zero clue what’s going on) But if they already know (which odds are they probably do unless they’re a newer fan), and/or they refuse to stop posting about them after being told, the best plan of action is to just… leave them alone. Just leave them be. Do not bother them further. Do not harass them. Do not send them threats. And for goodness gracious don’t make a callout post or blocklist of every single supporter of said athlete.

(Seriously attempting to make a long blocklist never ends well, especially since half the time the users on said blocklist turn out to be literal children).

That said though, if your friends/mutuals are actively defending bigoted comments and/or making statements that borderline towards abuse apologism, it’s not a bad idea to hold them accountable in a private setting. Yes I said private setting because most drama can be avoided with a private DM. But other than that... someone still writes 1988 fic? Leave them be! Someone still makes gifsets of Alex Ovechkin? Leave them be! Hell, someone still talks about the Staals? Just leave them be! The best course of action is to… just use the block button and/or filter posts accordingly. That’s literally it lmfao.

But why do people continue to support these athletes anyway?

Well it all comes down to the following: A. They have trouble grappling with the fact that they are, in fact, problematic. B. They’re Neurodivergent (especially autistic or individuals with ADHD), or struggling IRL, and kinda rely on those people to function or get through the day. 

C. Detaching yourself from a problematic figure is… really easier said than done. It is not easy at all lmfao. D. They're refuse to listen to info. E. They genuinely have no clue what's going on. Either way. Don't judge too harshly. Not everyone can just stop supporting a person/media and guess what? It's not as easy as 99% of Tumblr dot com thinks. Not everyone can just stop enjoying/liking something. And guess what? That's actually O-KAY. Last thing to know.

Lastly, you, yourself, *could* probably be supporting a problematic player right now! And you would never know until much later! At the end of the day, 99% of athletes have done problematic things one way or another. And honestly, if we tried to get rid of every problematic person... there probably wouldn't be any people left on Earth at all. Yeah, some actions are more shittier than ever, but trying to make everything "unproblematic"... is never going to work no matter how you look at it, and that is OKAY.

Remember the most important rule (stolen from someone on discord with the second edited by me!):

Now get out there and cheer for whatever player you'd like.

(Special thanks to @hard4softthings @saucerfulofsins @tapejob @youneedtolookatthis @restingbuchface @bedardconnor and a bunch of other folks for providing most of the advice/info/tips for this post!)

[syn4k]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

[kinokoshoujoart]

CORRECT TAGS‼️‼️‼️‼️ @rn0na-lizard you are so so so correct….. my favorite ‘Normal Girl’ in hmds…….i almost never see anyone talk about these aspects of her let alone also love her for them as they should.

i feel like Leona/ DS lumina gets mischaracterized super often which is understandable bc out of all the DS candidates leona is the least like her ancestor (who i also love, for different reasons).

in AWL lumina was the only kid in the valley for a very long time, but many of the DS residents have lived in the valley their whole lives. while lumina had accepted her role as a proper young heiress by chapter 3 of AWL— and when DS begins Leona already at this point of her life— lumina still had a lingering sense of uncertainty and angst and loneliness and doubt, and unresolved worries about her parents. absolutely none of this is present with leona

in this world leona starts with Lumina’s 22 year old appearance, she’s just rich as hell and living her best life (as she deserves), she’s unabashedly shallow, puts herself first always, speaks so politely and affably yet she can be so casually cruel in the most genuine cute way and out of touch with reality and and i fucking love her and i’d die for her. my beloved girlboss girlkeep girlypop

more iconic Leona Moments

when muu/muffy asks for beauty advice leona’s recommendation is “this brand of mail order beauty cream is simply divine! and it was quite inexpensive too, just 100,000 G 🥰” everyone else looks uncomfortable and muu is like “you’re as frivolous as always….”

aside from the 3 who take literally half your money (Witch💖, moi, and thomas) leona and panama (romana) take the most money from you if they carry you home when you faint. just a couple of girl bosses holding on to their girlpire (btw shout out to sebastian, the only resident in the entire valley who carries you home for free)

neither panama nor leona attend the harvest festival, they send sebastian there by himself to test the food first lmao (if you poison it like the witch they’re harboring on their property requires you to do, sebastian is just like “i can’t serve this to Mistress Panama…”)

once again sebastian attacks mukumuku for her sake, this time not to make her a paintbrush but she told him to get her the best slippers and this was apparently the easiest way. sebastian gets fucking mauled btw

leona has hands down the best romance route in hmds. all her scenes are incredible but god the slow burn friends to lovers with your DVD player….

in her purple heart event she shows up at your house because she heard you have a DVD player, asks you to show her how it works, and then just leaves after she’s done playing with it

in her yellow heart event she has sebastian fetch van so she can buy a DVD player for herself but van’s like “i’m so sorry …. Pete… bought the last one….”

leona is so unable to stomach the idea of other people having things she doesn’t that she starts to cry and the only way to placate her is to tell her she can go to your house anytime she wants just so she can use your DVD player. that’s not a setup to a budding romance that’s her final heart event

it’s the most incredible romance arc in the world like girl you have infinite money you can just. buy a DVD player somewhere else?? “i want to watch DVDs at my house just like you!” leona you have three entire bedrooms

“rich girl love interest who has everything except love, win her heart by having genuine conversation with her”: done to death, tired, i don’t have time for that

“rich girl love interest who has everything except a fucking DVD player, win her heart by giving her expensive stuff and ‘relax tea’ and access to your DVD player”: audacious, intriguing, never been done before, innovative

if you deny her god-given right to access your DVD player she is like “Is that so……………Just let me be alone for a little bit.” incredible tragedy i understand. take as much time as you need to grieve darling

oh but her first heart event asks you to pick a side in an argument she’s having with panama and the correct answer is to say “sebastian is the one who’s wrong” (sebastian has said nothing wrong this whole time and yet both of them have just been yelling at him to shut up)

and her blue heart event is “help me find this heirloom necklace… boohoo…” and when you find it she’s like “perfect! now grandma won’t get mad at me. hmm, you seem pretty dependable…♡” augh she’s way too good at this…….!!! i’ll do anything for you!

when you propose she says “of course, i always dreamed of having a romance and a wedding♡” and says nothing abt how she feels about you <3

also if you marry her, once a week she goes to hang out at her ex love interest’s place for 6 hours straight and comes home saying “whew… i had so much fun that i must have lost track of time… i’ll hurry on home”

if you marry another girl she starts flirting with you like “I’m so envious of your wife, having such a fine husband… Pete.” (or whatever your name is)

i’ve become obsessed with her and romeo’s horrible trainwreck soap opera marriage since replaying cute in jp… it’s SO… i have so much to say about them that it should be its own post but i’ll just give the cliffnotes

shotgun wedding vibes. romeo is surprised by his own wedding. they’re childhood friends but he himself has never considered marrying her. her words to him at their wedding are “Make me happy♡” (command)

she understandably can’t stand his terrible table manners or his clothes or anything about him (except that she wants to watch him surf and have his child. but he instead walks in circles all day. coward) and he’s both really good at accidentally stepping on landmines and just ever so slightly majorly terrified of her after marriage (“but surely her angry outbursts are just her way of showing love hahahahaha” you’re going to die. she’s going to kill you). the only positive things they say about their marriage are extremely shallow. they can’t communicate with each other because romeo always says the Dumbest Shit obliviously and leona always responds by cutting him out of her life forever!!!!!! (for 5 seconds) while he has no idea what happened

they are both so melodramatic and they both just do nothing except make each other worse and run away from each other and push each other away but they can’t escape each other. neither of them ever has to grow or change if they marry each other because an elderly overworked man is sustaining both of their existences and neither of them can take care of themselves and i love them your honor

also romeo’s first crush as a kid was apparently her mom, and if leona falls for YOU she flirts by mentioning that sebastian says you look like the spitting image of her dead father. dear fucking god

they’re the epitome of “You're both just enabling each other's mental illnesses. You're both perfect for each other. Never change. Just never involve anybody else in what you've got going on.”

romeo really does feel like her stupid lackey. like the karen to her regina. they even had this dynamic in the games they played as kids… she was the Harvest Goddess and he was Servant A/Minion A (they might still be playing this game as adults…he calls her lady/mistress sometimes after marriage…)

btw leona’s best friend (wife) marivia is also just as… there’s an event where they just gossip about all the mineral town ppl and marivia says ann would win a gluttony contest and they both giggle

there’s also an event where marivia casually walks into Witch’s hut and just interviews her so she can write her into a novel. witch is left completely drained by this exchange. leona and marivia both are so chill about the horrible cruel villainess living in leona’s shed who wants the town poisoned and rewards you for killing animals and hurting yourself and is putting curses on everyone (and they’re right. she’s never done anything wrong in her life)

[bonefall]

maybe with the ending.. make it be like the link between Breezepelt's leaving to join Kin and his POV in AVOS? of course from Nightcloud's perspective but

like. she would be injured and recovering away from the clan. but they would be unaware that she is alive and like in canon assume she died and hold her a vigil. Breezepelt, who is already at low point, taking it very badly - yes he was pushing her away bc he was hurt and angry and started taking it out on her, but.. it's still his mom. his Mi. and she is dead? or is this stupid clan just going to believe this to make it easier? are they really giving up on looking for her, or her body??

i can see Nightcloud being the one of very few, if not THE Only one, things that kept Breezepelt in WindClan at this point. and without her, what's the point? it's not like anyone else likes him. the link is gone and they buried it in a bodyless vigil. so it's what pushes him to actuall take the step and leave.

not sure how well it would align with the timeline and events. and how soon Darktail was assembling cats from other clans like Breeze. but i think it would be interesting and heartbreaking if at the end of her SE, Nightcloud just arrived back to WindClan and asks where Breezepelt is and someone tells her.. he either was missing since this morning or just left the clan earlier the same day. like, just have them miss each other by a hair.

I'm thinking that the second-to-last chapter is her with Pickle, having a bit of a sabbatical to unpack everything that happens through the story. Mostly because I want to throw her into some kind of pretty garden as a nice setting for this lmaoo

A LOT of BB stuff is being added to Nightcloud's Pannage that wasn't in the main series; Hillrunner's abuse, her mentor Addersong, several expanded little background characters now complete with their own side conflicts. I think what I can bind all these things with is Nightcloud considering what a Clan means.

Because of her new reputation, I'm noticing I'm writing scenes where she's intentionally doing and saying things to try and sway them. While also grappling with her resentment towards them, and things she can't change.

There's a bit of a melancholy air so far, so I'm starting to feel like the best ending is just having a bit of space to herself to think. Ultimately, she decides that it's more than Breezepelt or Crowfeather that binds her to WindClan. It's the life and connections she COULD have.

WindClan cats are also quite religious next to other Clans, so I really do mean "sabbatical." I'm going to have Addersong die of old age shortly after they reconnect, so she's in Pickle's Garden talking to her new friend, choosing cats she's lost to pray to as patron spirits to give her the traits she feels she needs, and just recovering both physically from injury and spiritually from turmoil.

So all that to say; it works well that by the time she gets back, Breezepelt has joined The Kin. He was one of the first to join when he started calling for members anyway, so having Night be gone for about two or three weeks sounds appropriate.

[al-mayriti]

idk if it's because my mum worked in a tv magazine or what but all the media wars and backstabbing and stuff happening behind the cameras is so so interesting to me

[saateco]

I found this post about Sokol very interesting, and I, as a person who really loves this character and, as it happens, is russian, would like to discuss this topic.

I in no way want to seem like I'm attacking or being negative in my post, I just want to express my point of view.

One of the reasons that a lot of people like him, especially from CIS, is that he plays very often on Russian stereotypes, showing off as an absolutely typical Russian dude who rides bears, drinks vodka, plays balalaika and such shit, еhe kind of thing that foreigners usually think about when they represent Russians. It’s even funny how smoothly it works in his case and how often it is taken seriously by others. TO BE A RUSSIAN ≠ CHARACTER TRAIT, no one likes looking at stuff only referred to stereotypes, in which the national affiliation of a character to a country should not somehow affect his perception as a person. The same applies to real people. Again, Sokol often pretends to be stereotypical Russian for his own gain, for example in his pager responses. This strategy does work (speaking as a Russian who has spoken to people around the world) just as well as it works in his case.    There is nothing strange in the fact that a person (russian person, since it is so important) combines sports interests and knowledge of some technical sciences. There were a lot of kids at my school who were professionally involved in sports and at the same time had deep knowledge of mathematics, physics, chemistry and computer science. For me personally, this is quite a common set, many guys are interested in sports and technical sciences, and I don't see anything strange in the fact that Sokol could build a BFD. Yes, he did it only once, and I can assume that it was ordered by Bain. It's not like he built some kind of flying thing that can read minds or control minds. It's just a drill, just really big. In fact, BFD is not a new invention that was completely developed from scratch and designed by Sokol. It fell on his shoulders to assemble this drill from a disassembled form. Potentially, if you have the drawings of the BFD in your hands, which are shown during the planning of the Golden Grand Casino, both Wolf and Houston and Chains could assemble it. Most likely, this robbery was his trial and the assembly was assigned to him as a “test task.” He doesn't show extraordinary engineering skills, which is why his dialogues aren't based on that, because it would just be pointless.

The description of Sokol consists of the fact that he is a talented robber, and not just a dumb Russian hockey player who only knows how to shoot and use brute force. “Despite his youth, Sokol has everything to become a legendary player. A gifted athlete, Sokol also has a sharp mind and understands his role in the team. He's fearless and physically strong, and he uses that to get to the enemy, whether it's a hockey team or special forces.”

He also engaged in robbery alone, and never caught the eye of the police until a certain point.

“Like Hoxton, Sokol began a life of crime at a fairly young age. By the time he was accepted into the gang, Sokol had already had many successful robberies of banks and casinos.”

Bain invited him to join the gang, and Bain would not invite a man who is just a hockey player and does not represent anything else.

“Despite this, the Russian police surrounded him. Sokol eluded them, but knew that his time as an independent robber was coming to an end. Only one person had the resources and insight to identify him: Bane. Sokol was offered a place in the Payday gang and a ticket to Las Vegas for the robbery of his life."

What does communism have to do with it?????

“russian which means jacket wouldn't like him”

There was not a drop of negativity or hate in any of Jackett's remarks addressed to the Sokol. All of Jackett's remarks to Sokol are neutral. Besides, the Jacket from pd2 is not a Jacket from h&m, I don't see any reason for him to hate Russians. 

If the developers wanted to show that Jackett hates the Sokol, they would have added replicas to it, as they did in the case of Hoxton and Houston. There is an obvious mutual dislike between them, when, as in the case of Sokol and Jacket, Sokol is simply infuriated by the fact that Jackett communicates through a dictaphone.

Overall we wanted to say that every community will be better without harmful stereotypes, since it’s making real people's life worse tbh (at least me and a lot of my friends had a bad experience in different shapes and forms with those stereotype stuff)

sokol is a fucking hilarious character

the purpose he serves as a character in payday 2’s story is so fucking funny his skillset is so god damn funny. but like. not even unrealistic

he has so many gimmicks

hes relevant for three seconds in the grand scheme of the payday story

hes.. russian. he is a professional hockey player. he- he can. build. shed-sized laser cutting drills

why can he do that who let him do that

he never mentions his engineering prowess in any of his voice lines (iirc)

he just. can do that

it gives someone with adhd taking their adderall for the first time and it kicking in right as theyre browsing the wikipedia article for nuclear fission and next thing they know theyre wanted by the fbi

its not like its unrealistic for people to have more than one interest but its just so funny how unrelated and irrelevant sokols engineering knowledge seems when put next to everything else about him. especially since theres already other characters who fill the role of awesome engineer dude already

houston isnt THE engineer but hes the mechanic and wolf literally has his own workshop

sokol made. the fucking bfd.

and his primary character trait isnt even that

its communism

his engineering smarts are like the last thing anyone remembers about his personality and it is the reason in lore why he is in the payday gang

sokols attributes in the order most often noticed by people who get into this game

russian

hockey

russian which means jacket wouldnt like him

burgers

prison nightmare voice lines

HE MADE THE FUCKING BFD..

THE BFD!!

[dootznbootz]

@thehelplessmortals shared this with me and...Penelope coded.

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She definitely tried to gross out Odysseus in a dumb "You think you can handle me, idiot? >:) " way. (She's stubborn and in denial at first. When she realizes she actually likes him, she's a mess.) And while eating raw fish is normal for naiad-born in Sparta, when she learned Odysseus wasn't used to naiads in daily life, she just really went wild with it.

He's just staring at her kind of expressionless and she thinks "Ha, see? You don't really like me."

But he's just like

"You like carp? Cuz if you do, we got plenty on Ithaca! Many more fish too! And if we don't, I'll get you some!"

And she's annoyed because her plan didn't work. Girlie is self-sabotaging even though she thinks he's neat.