#esp with work

[wachtelspinat]

i can't help but feel like my drawing days are kind of over. not entirely, i'll still be drawing from time to time. and deffo not because i want to. but i'm having this exact same feeling since mid 2022, since i was really struggling with my elective period, i kind of disconnected with art there and never truly found my way back. on top of everything that came after - moving, starting a job and working to be good at it which leaves such little room for other things because i can't handle my life well - there is just so much horrible shit going on. and i'm having a hard time comprehending it.

a part of me also feels very stupid for drawing one thing for almost 4 years now constantly, but another part of me knows "hey, but this makes you happy". it's a constant battle in my head because online spaces are like school grounds, and i don't actually wanna stand in the corner as that one kid that just can't shut up about that one character. but then again all i ever did was drawing fanart so... what does it. who gives a shit. be cringe and be free alright. but it kinda feels so hollow, esp. when you're at it for so long. a lot of mutuals move on. some are not even active anymore anywhere. and i wonder what happened. plus a huge chunk of the tone of the fandom has changed. also with the source material getting butchered so hard (since the release of ow2) it just kills the fun. playing this game used to be fun. playing this game was one thing that helped me getting through the last meters of university. it's like watching the downfall of the simpsons again without making the comparison too set in stone, just... this thing that used to be decent and nice and watching it getting ruined in real time (broken promises about pve, the recent gameplay changes?? the lore was fucked up from the start but they kind of tried, now it's just skins for 20+ dollars) while still having feelings for the characters is shit. anyway...

i recently went through a big folder of stuff i'd drawn at the age of 12-15 and there were so many fucked up but cool monster and cyborgs designs and just silly stupid stuff and all i could think of was that i felt so distanced from it, like i don't even know i think this is normal? because a lot of time has passed and a lot has happened and i knew i've drawn all this but i wasn't able to locate the person who did in my present me now and... it's just so normal that things move constantly forward but i feel like i missed huge chunks and passed a few stops and now i'm kind of lost.

i don't even know what i'm trying to say here anymore. i just feel sad because it feels like sth is slipping out of my grasp or sth has changed tremendously and i don't know how to make damage control.

i keep trying tho, i try to draw once a week at least. it's just like as soon as i take a step back and look at it i don't feel it at all. gonna continue tho, until it makes sense again i hope.

[tiresomespaceplant]

old portrait assets for these tma id cards i layouted since june

it's free to download on my kofi! :D

edit: blank png files are now included! if you've availed one, check your reciept with the link to the downloads and the updated files should be there! ^^

[sabertoothwalrus]

does science experiments on you (homoerotically)

[hinamie]

ṇ̵̛̱͌̅̃͛̔o̴̮̓̀͂́̃_̴̛̲́s̷͈̋̈́̄̋͠ị̶͔̗̐͐̐̒̕g̵̛̱̘̣̑͂ņ̴̰͔̘͇̏̒̓̇͠͝a̸̜̥̩̭͋̌ḷ̶͔̖͗͋͛͛̃͆

[suntails]

light magic

[idontmindifuforgetme]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[madamemiz]

sad: falling out of a hyperfixation

tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Merry christmas everyone <- 3AM, December 26th

[so-bitya]

she was there for months so...

[bamsara]

I love Arson he's my favorite heater but I should really get a cheap laptop one day so I can leave the house to write because the Noise. Is . Too Much. I need to go write in the forest

[madqueenalanna]

honestly it was so big brained to have will graham be a fisherman cause like everything else about him is so prey-coded; he's the dog rescuer, he has seventeen mental illnesses, his brain is on fire, he's the lamb in the grip of the lion. but he's also the fisherman. he ties his own flies, he goes out into the river, he baits and waits and sinks his hook in, barbs and all. from the beginning he always has power, even when he seems like he's at hannibal's mercy, at jack's, at his own, he still rolls a cast and waits for the bite

[splash-o-matica]

“Side order was short” babe youre not done until you unlock all of THESE

[idiotsonlyevent]

slavic chilchuck moodboard

[lesbians4armand]

no but really i do think a lot about how assad zaman and bally gill already knew each other for AT LEAST 6 or 7 years prior to iwtv and how much funnier that makes the whole rashid situation. because imagine you audition for a minor character role as a servant in a horror series only to be told that no, actually, you’re playing one of the most major and important characters in it. and then you get to call your friend and go hey i have a role for you and it’s going to be really funny i promise.

[numbuh424]

The unstoppable, mighty hurricane and the immovable, cold, hard truth.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what