#esp fucking 2023

[crazybutgood]

[alicentsgf]

was the Spain vs England Final "good"? no it was not. Was it funny tho? Yes. yes it was. very fucking funny.

[crystaldeclear]

@the entire referee team, including the clowns in the VAR booth

[mkstrigidae]

Also, genuinely think that was the BEST floor routine we've seen from Simone since her comeback like holy shit way to pull it out when it counts

[thewhizzyhead]

Happy new year my dudes!!! May 2024 be so much fucking better than whatever the hell 2023 was!

[flyttadigs]

stop the presses. i was doing some old web browsing/ digging as i do and found out i had someone added to friends on my first blingee account that i now happen to follow on tumblr by pure sheer coincidence. are u fucking kidding me. (we were massive weebs)

[krockat]

:O ooooohhhhhhggggghg they performed one of louie zongs songs on rebecca sugars 2023 trevor project concert :oooooo

two faves (along a lot of other great artists) on together and aaaaaaaaa

[eunique]

Hey 2023,

Can I have some peace and quiet for 5 FUCKING MINUTES

[jamesbukkakebarnes]

😒

[nearwildheaven]

having a crush is wild bc i’m listening to the cure & siouxsie sioux 5x as much as i used to lmao

[beesmygod]

in an astounding twist of fate, im looking into what is actually going on with google adsense. they're in hot fucking water right now actually.

this summer, an enormous and scathing review by adalytics (an independent media research website) came out criticizing google for a myriad of things which could be politely summed up as "fraud". we're talking like. theye were taking money to serve ads on pages that got 0 views regularly. thats not what people pay for lol.

as a result google mysteriously issued some refunds (""credits"", because "refunds" sounds bad) but insists it was all normal. adexchanger has a summary of an adage.com article

Google vehemently denies the report’s findings and that the credits are in any way related. “Issuing credits to advertisers is not uncommon,” a Google spokesperson says, adding that “Adalytics used a flawed methodology to make wildly inaccurate claims about GVP.”

so over the last four or so months, google has been making core updates to its adsense network with, apparently, very little warning to the people using it. and everyone's numbers tanked. hard. oct 2023 appears to have been esp brutal. both the search engine journal and lily ray from amsive, apparently a huge name in marketing, released reports that are completely nuts. the lily ray one is esp detailed and has a timeline of updates

73% of overall respondents indicated that they have seen their Google Discover traffic drop to 0 during the past 3 months. Among websites that lost Discover traffic, the most common complaints were dramatic traffic declines; dropping to 0 impressions and clicks; extreme percentage decreases in clicks ranging from 50-99%, and massive losses in revenue from AdSense and other ad networks.

50 to 99%?! yeah that's a small sample size but that's a fucking hell of a swing and a trend.

according to the search engine journal google appears to be saying "well, we''ll see what we can do" the same way that you would say "let me look in the back" when you know full and well its not in the back. like this reads to me as "them's the breaks". which is uhh. i think a really big problem.

[agustdiv1ne]

in no particular order, here are my favorite fics that i've read this year!! please show a lot of love to all of these wonderful authors <3 (also please heed their rules, esp for nsfw fics!!)

part of my 2023 wrap up!

@koqabear

um like. quite literally everything sol has posted this year. i am being so serious. check out their masterlist right NEOWWWW and read EVERYTHING

@blackhairedjjun

flowers of every color — i could rave about this series for like 10 hours straight, i'm not even kidding. it's sweet with the perfect amount of angst to really draw you in, i fell in love with every character more and more with each chapter <3 now where is my prince!jjunie :(

@tyunkus

amazon wishlist (m) — me when me when me when roommate!tyun offers to fuck me...god, i need this so bad

@jishyucks

gloves & dittany — OHHHHH how i love this fic...one of the best harry potter aus i have ever read, and with yeonjun?? slytherin!yeonjun!!!! ooooo you really got me good, op <3

bittersweet — *cowboy cat meme* DRUNK SOOOOOOOOOB i think this wins the award for being the cutest fic i read in the year of 2023

@beom-pyu

i can't swim, idiot! (m) — i will never not shut up about this fic...just faking married? with beomgyu?? with feelings involved??? yeah. Yeah <3

like the moon — merman!kai you will always be famous to me, one of my all-time favorites by far!!!!!

@toruro

answers (m) — this academic rival!taehyun fic had me screaming crying gnawing on my leg like wtf mika. how could you do this to me. i am dead now.

@hyukalyptus

something nice (m) — i went SOOOO insane over this fic like the dynamics were just. scrumptious. i love yeonkai i love this fic i love hp for writing this yes yes yes

like, never ever? (m) — ohhhh my god. this one really got me good,, dom best friend!beomgyu giving mc her first orgasm?? sign me tf up !!!!!!

@qqtxt

sway with me — i sent this in for their 1k event i just :')))) i love this so so so much!!!! dancing with yeonjun is my dream, so thank you for taking my request op!! <3

@hueareloved / @huenation

my love mine all mine (m) — the most tender and soft and SWEET nsfw fic i have ever read, so in love with this and sleepy lovesick jjunie AGHH brb rereading this

ditto — ohhhh how i love angst. amor's writing style is beautiful and it made this beomgyu fic that much more heart-wrenching <3

@huckleberrykai

laundry basket (m) — no bc this went CRAZYYY with the perv!mc thing, savored every single word of this kai fic tbh

comfy cozy (m) — CUTE AF. i am the biggest proponent of soft smut and berry writes it so well <3 i loveee soft yeonjun more than life itself

@aduh0308 / @banggyu0308

yeehaw (m) — OKAYYY cowboys!taejun fucking destroyed me like. i don't think i ever recovered from this

berry sorbet (m) — i need kai to be my soulmate rn wtf. cute n sweet and i loved it

@boba-beom

airport crush pt.2 (m) — the minute smiles told me she was working on airport crush pt.2 i passed away. nothing could have prepared me for this fic, it destroyed me in the best way...god, i need yeonjun so bad

trapped in your game (m) — i salivated. i quaked. i (s)creamed. best friend!yeonjun, please hmu </3

@napofamoon / @mazeinthemoon

you're the one love (m) — moonie ATE with this fallen angel!yeonjun fic!! i love sacrilege n this was just sooo hot

@tubatwo

workaholic — this made me giggle and kick my feet so hard...i love you cafe boss taehyun, pls marry me

@hyuk4ngel

honeymoon avenue — i. love. angst. and fay is exceptionally talented at writing it!! taehyun better watch out tho >:(

@mapofthemazeinthemirror / @afterbluehours

untitled (m) — this yeonbin x reader fic is SOOOO hot like. i screamed. i cried. i rolled around in a fetal position because it just made me so insane

@nightlyawnzz

duality (m) — OHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GODDDDDDD i think this is one of the hottest kai fics i have ever read in my entire life. i don't often see kai as a hard dom in fics so this opened my eyes (can't wait for the final part!!)

@scintillasofbeomgyu

you are in love — one of my jjunie comfort fics!!! sweet n soft and everything to me :')

@petrichor-han

twenty-three suns (m) — rain's writing style hits me straight in the gut, especially with this summer fling au with taehyun :') lovely yet heart-wrenching and AGHH i love this

@ncteez

untitled (m) — UMMM this camboy!yeonjun fic altered the trajectory of my entire life. i fucking die every time i read this, like it has to be laced with crack or something

menace (m) — this was batshit INSANE LIKEEEE gangster!yoongi fucked me up so bad (in the best way)

@yeonboy

never meet your heroes — ONE OF MY FAVS EVER. LIKE. COLLEGE AU WITH SOOBIN???? I AM SO OBSESSED YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND

@ijhyo

how to get the girl — i ate this up SO hard. i just adore both the mc and beomgyu's characters in this, definitely another all-time favorite of mine

@cheolhub

head (m) — SAR YOU WERE INSANE FOR THIS. sub!soobin makes me so feral and this made my brainrot even worse UGHHH

@starbandit

backseat (m) — oh. oh yeah. now this is everything to me, best friend!yeonjun + car sex = a very very happy me

@tonicandjins

learning languages (m) — i don't often read donghyuck fics (or nct fics in general), but this one. oh, this one is beautiful. it made me cry, it made go through so many emotions i just. read this right now, you won't regret it

@heart2beom

cliche — i still vividly remember this first time that i read this, the dialogue is hilarious and it is just sweet n fluffy n AGHH i will forever adore this fic <3

and some more accounts with amazing fics!!!: @majestyjun @hyewka @taegimood @naomiarai @hyuk4sbf @fairyofshampgyu @enha-cafe @moonhoures @wolfytae-exe @dearlyjun @heartchoi @sook9i @tinietaehyun @minastras

a big thank you to all of these writers for sharing your works!! <3

[alexging]

sean diaz + daniel diaz modern hcs

i kind of forgot this was exclusively modern at the end just ignore that LMFAO

- sean has no social media presence whatsoever

- a lot of people from school follow him but he only follows lyla and his track team back 😭 popular loner energy 🥀🐺

- i feel like if sean went to hs now hed be sm more popular esp w girls but hes rlly humble so he doesnt see it at all

- hes stupid and just thinks theyre being nice

- it gets on lylas nerves bc he refuses to believe anybody wants him 😭

- all his stories are like fireworks he posted when he was thirteen that he never bothered to delete

- its titled Highlights bc he doesnt know how to make an aesthetic instagram

- if anything, if he posts now its skate videos, drawings, or funny pics of daniel

- sean def takes 0.5x photos of daniel where his eyes go two diff directions and threatens to send them to lyla whenever he starts acting up

- daniel always throws a tantrum and esteban gets mad and tells sean to delete the pics (he doesnt)

- speaking of daniel he def got wayyy into skibidi toilet

- daniel tries to explain skibidi toilet n sean just tunes him out and says “uh huh” every so often

- hes those impressionable kids that gets into literally anything on the internet. among us, squid games, ROBLOX FOR SURE. sticky ipad baby energy overall!

- sean plays roblox with daniel on very rare occasions. i can imagine daniels avatar is decked out with limited items and sean is a bacon haired woman 😭

- daniel has definitely swiped estebans card a couple times under his nose for his robux…

- daniel purposely chooses games hes good at to watch sean struggle and die over and over again

- daniel watches weird kid youtube videos like… among us 24 hour challenge with spiderman and elsa giving birth kind of videos. sean gets really pissed off partly bc theyre rotting daniels brain and partly bc daniel always put it at max volume in the living room

- once sean gets paid he always goes thrifting. he fs goes to the bins and finds dirty dookie drawls every weekend 😭 but its worth it bc he finds cool shit

- as a skater boy i feel its obligatory for him to wear those afflication types of clothing as well as ironic graphic tees

- sean def wears baggy jeans in 2023 🙅‍♀️ none of that straight leg jeans from the game!!

- he also probably loves those ironic wolf shirts w the galaxy print n thinks theyre so funny

- sean also buys clothes in his style for daniel from the thrift n records 360s of daniel in his skater outfits

- “can i go play roblox now?” “no u have to cover ur nose when u turn around”

- got a buzzcut and surprisingly it looked really good

- esteban, daniel, lyla, and practically everyone else in his life kept making fun of him for being bald and would rub his head like a genie bottle tho

- daniels go-to is “well- well at least i don’t look like… look like caillou!” bc i imagine he tries to make funny comebacks but always stutters in the middle 😭😭

- eventually grew it back out bc he got annoyed at everyone making fun of him. they dont see his blond album cover early 2000s vision 💔

- daniel has no room to talk bc sooner or later he goes to the barber and gets a fucked edgar bowlcut

- sean laughs until he can barely breathe 😭 when lyla sees she TRIES to cheer him up about it but its too late

- even esteban laughs a little but only when daniel cant see bc he knows how much itd hurt him

- back to the blond album cover… sean LOVES music. his playlists are hours long

- i feel like he indulges in a super LARGE range of music likeee from bad bunny to deftones to pinkpantheress

- everybody hates it when he has aux and boos him off

- when esteban orders mexican food, sean and daniel both get horchata. sean dgaf if hes grown he still loves it!!

- i imagine esteban slowly stopped enforcing mexican food and culture overtime. bc of this, daniel knows barely any spanish and has 0 spice tolerance. sean always makes fun of him bc he goes gets water after a couple hot cheetos

- daniel tries to recreate those videos of people eating carolina reapers in hot sauce to prove a point and almost dies

- sean absolutely LOVES halloween. horror movies, costumes, the weather, everything abt it

- a part of him always gets jealous of daniel bc hes no longer considered trick or treating age anymore

- lowkey hed be willing to pull up in a full body costume just so he can trick or treat again

- when watching horror movies, sean will get way too immersed and start judging the people in the movies 😭

- daniels not allowed to watch but he peaks around the corner when estebans not watching

- “why the fuck is she just standing there? RUN! WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?!”

- “language mijo”

- he acts like he cld fight off the killer and explains his mastermind plan during the movie

- he doesnt admit it but he gets jumpy after a horror movie 😭 esteban and daniel take advantage of this every single time

- sean daniel and esteban are a tight knit family REGARDLESS of sean’s moodiness and daniel’s annoying gen alpha brainrot theyre so 😢

yes im aware that 2016 wasnt tjat long ago but i dont want to imagine sean diaz enjoying dank memes and saying boi 💔

[alienssstufff]

JUANAFLIPPA CASE COURT HEARING (A very thorough) RECAP

APRIL 12, 4:00PM PST (2023) FAMILY COURT COURTROOM NO.2

JUDGE: Maximus (SapoPeta) PROSECUTION: SLIMECICLE (Charlie el Backflipo), Quackity (esp), Jaiden, Fit, BBH, Foolish DEFENSE: MARIANA, Roier JURY: Dapper, Leonardo777, Tilin, Trump, Bobby, Ramon

OBJECTIVE – To determine whether a crime was committed by the Defense, finalise Flippa’s custody amongst parties (divorce)  

Link to the full update timeline of the JuanaFlippa case can be found HERE

A/N: The following was recap was taken from Slimecicle’s (and a bit of Quackity and Philza’s) POV. This is 4 fucking pages long.  

PRE-TRIAL HIGHLIGHTS:

A small courthouse was built for the event - presumably during server maintenance.  

Mariana, Charlie and Quackity dressed up irl in suits for the stream! The couple + Jaiden’s minecraft skins appear in suits too! This isn’t relevant to the case but I respect the dedication :]  

Private conversation where Mariana asks Foolish to represent him in court. Foolish rejects :[

Initially Charlie had hired Roier to be one of the Prosecution’s representatives but had backed out last minute - choosing to instead take Mariana’s side on the Defense.  

Charlie had also requested to hire Philza to be one of the Prosecution’s representatives, to which Philza rejected the offer because of Charlie’s murder attempts on his son Chayanne.  

Individually, Charlie speaks to each of his lawyers in private. As of prior to the hearing, none of them are aware they are not the only lawyers representing the Prosecution.  

A few emotional words were held between Mariana and Charlie. Mariana via Twitter DMs sends Charlie a photo edit of them and JuanaFlippa together as a happy family. They cry together – it’s snotty and kinda gross ://

THE TRIAL:

SapoPeta opens the trial under court of law and representatives of both the Prosecution and Defense introduce themselves to the stand. It is here where all five of Charlie’s lawyers discover there is more than one representative (but it’s cool they play it off and agree to work together).

In defense of himself, Charlie argues that by everyone’s willingness alone to defend him should more than prove the strength of the Prosecution’s case. Quackity (esp) further reinforces Charlie’s first point and brings forth the opening statement outlining three objectives the Prosecution aims to achieve in the following hearing: 1 -To revive JuanaFlippa 2 -For Charlie to have complete custody over JuanaFlippa in the divorce 3 -To sacrifice Mariana to Satan  

As Charlie’s second lawyer, Jaiden drops probably one of the hardest statements in today’s hearing. It’s so sick I’m including the full transcription: “This case isn’t about winning custody. It isn’t about divorce, or even bringing back the life of a child. It is about Justice. Justice that was taken away from an innocent egg JuanaFlippa. JuanaFlippa’s childhood was born into a broken home, but that doesn’t mean she’s any less deserving of life.” “We’re here today standing before you Your Honour to write the Wrong that happened to a defenseless egg that simply wanted love. My client el Backflipo is a good parent. He cared and provided for JuanaFlippa, was always there for her, and at the end of the day Showed Up. All things the Defendant did not do. He knows the family isn’t in the best of situations, but he still did everything within his power to give JuanaFlippa what he could.” “In this case we will be revealing how the Defendant, el Mariana, was not present as a parent, not a good partner, was a bad influence on JuanaFlippa, consistently showed zero care for anything he subjected to her – and now is the ultimate cause for her untimely death.” “The facts in this case are straightforward and we are able to supply evidence and witnesses to stand to prove this point. I believe the Defendant, in a rage of not being able to escap el Backflipo’s custody papers, plotted to gain just enough of el Backflipo’s trust to be left alone with JuanaFlippa where he could then take her life.” “All el Backflipo wanted was to give JuanaFlippa the best childhood he could. He wants to right the wrong that was made in the hands of Mariana. For all those reasons and after you’ve heard all the evidence, at the end of this trial we ask you to return a verdict in favour of el Backflipo. That you find the defendant GUILTY of murder and to have his soul SACRIFICED in the resurrection of JuanaFlippa. Thank you.” (holy hell.)

Roier argues in good faith that Mariana is a good person (by shared history) and father who would never intentionally hit his daughter. The Defense pleads instead for manslaughter and that JuanaFlippa’s death was by a misclick.

Jaiden (sent by Charlie) brings new photo evidence to the stand in harm of Mariana’s image, bringing light to an affair between him and Foolish. Foolish is thrown under the fucking bus and is actively against the Prosecution (he is fired during recess). Principle of the item countering the Defense’s claims of Mariana being a good partner.  

Roier brings new photo evidence in harm of one of Charlie’s lawyer’s image of Tilin saying Quackity was also in an affair (???). Jaiden objects as the item is not relevant to the JuanaFlippa case. Objection accepted.  

Roier demonstrates the fragility of the egg beds - easily destroyable by a single click. He challenges the court to review the quality of egg beds in precedent of the murder. This statement is overruled by the Judge for irrelevance to the JuanaFlippa case, saying that such issue must be brought up in a different trial against the company providing the egg beds. The Judge however agrees that Mariana’s kill was an accident.

BBH from the Prosecution argues for the fragility of egg-kind, showing a reckless disregard from Mariana. Video evidence showing the night of the murder (footage wire-tapped by Charlie) is presented.

Roier argues against BBH bringing awareness to the species of the eggs being birthed from a power dragon (dragons are tough).

The Judge presents an audio file, a conversation between Mariana and JuanaFlippa. Due to technical difficulties in the Global Transcription, Quackity ‘translates’ saying “Daughter, I’m gonna be absent for a very long time therefore you need to start eating dirt so your defenses rise up and you don’t die as quick. Motherfucker.” Roier objects in defense that Mariana is a cc and was being a lil silly slash /j.

The Judge declares Recess as he comes up with a verdict.

Nothing much happens during recess other than a failed assassination on Charlie but it’s whatever ^_^!

Fucking Tik Tok edits were submitted as evidence as leverage to Mariana’s image in proof he is a good father to JuanaFlippa.

More photo evidence of Mariana’s and Foolish’s affair are brought to the court to counter this presented by the Judge. He objects himself for this has nothing to do with the murder, he just put it up there cuz it was funny.

Video evidence of the murder was brought up again. The Defense argues Mariana in fact destroyed a JuanaFlippa decoy - not the real JuanaFlippa. Theory debunked due to the current absence of JuanaFlippa today.

Charlie argues, on which will always transcribe (also hard as hell) the following: “And he (lil Satan) told me that he would burn my family to the ground if I told you this, but I don’t have a family left to burn. SATAN TOLD ME THAT IF I KILLED PHIL’S EGG, HE’D GIVE FLIPPA A GUN TO PROTECT HERSELF AND THIS IS THAT PHOTO RIGHT THERE OF BABY’S FIRST TOY, IN A CIRCLE OF FIRE AS WE MADE AN ACCIDENTAL PACT WITH THE DEVIL. AND HE SAID HE WOULD KILL MY DAUGHTER IF I DIDN’T DO AS HE SAYS. I’M SORRY BUT I WAS DOING WHAT A GOOD PARENT WOULD DO!” The Judge disregards the evidence as it is not relevant to JuanaFlippa’s murder. The murder of Chayanne (and Charlie’s homicidal tendencies) would be left for a different trial.

Fit in representation of the Prosecution brings four netherite ingots to the court as a bribe. It is revealed that the ‘netherite’ was forged.

FINAL VERDICT of today’s trial, in case of JuanaFlippa’s death, that she would be given another life. Both Mariana and Charlie would be sentenced to the QSMP Federal Prison for ~10 minutes. Request for divorce has been denied and parents of the Flippa family must work together in couples therapy.

POST TRIAL HIGHLIGHTS:

Mariana and Charlie are thrown in cages as people throw tomatoes at them. They sing together and do a duet of Careless Whisper on the harmonica/kazoo. Cute!

They escape underground just in time to see Flippa get resurrected. The family are reunited. Aww :,]!

Both Mariana and Charlie (WITHOUT KILLING her this time) tuck JuanaFlippa to bed and promise to work together on their relationship from now on. Yipee ^_^!

Both streams finish with Mariana and Charlie having minecraft sex. The end!

[fullhalalalchemist]

lmao no way the heritage foundation AND family research coujust admitted that the massively popular bipartisan-backed bill Kid's Online Safety Act [that a bunch of left-wing orgs have been doing heavy PR for] is all a ploy to censor trans kids online. a bunch of supposed left-wing orgs just threw the entire lgbt, esp trans community under the bus after spending hundreds of thousands of dollars bringing in people to capitol hill advocating for this bill.

the left is May 20 2023, the HERITAGE FOUNDATION coming out and saying that yes, KOSA is designed specifically so that Republican attorney generals can sue websites for content that "harms minors" (which is why over 100+ lgbt and human rights orgs opposed it last year).

the right is May 23, 2023, with left/liberal orgs doing the heavy PR for KOSA and claiming noooo it definetely helps queer youth lol just look at our fact sheet (that's been debunked by the ACLU and orgs that actually work in tech policy). this is apparently a rebuttal after the Heritage Foundation and Family Research Council came out in support of it. my question is, if they're explicitly saying, and the ACLU alongside hundreds of other groups are also saying this bill is bad, why the fuck are you still supporting it and sending lobbyists to push for it?

[sluttywonwoo]

trying so hard not to be a bitch about the tour thing and then jeonghan and jun. and it has NOTHING to do with them (obviously have to fulfill their duties no hate to my baby loves) and everything to do with Pledis and Hybe bcs what the actual fuck???? why was there no tour in 2023??? They had the whole fucking year

they did do a tour in 2023 ☹️ it went on for almost a year but it was only in asia.

apparently they felt that staying continental would be more profitable than a world tour 🤷🏻‍♀️ fucking sucks though ☹️ esp bc they told the stops that were missing members in 2022 that they’d come back as 13