#also my gosh. they r all so good at their crafts

[krockat]

:O ooooohhhhhhggggghg they performed one of louie zongs songs on rebecca sugars 2023 trevor project concert :oooooo

two faves (along a lot of other great artists) on together and aaaaaaaaa

[dokiyeom]

AYA’S SEVENTEEN FIC RECS

note: ngl i meant to post this in dec as an end of 2022 sort of thing and as a bit of an apology for my inactivity,, but my mental health has not been fantastic,, but here are some of my favorite seventeen fics that i’ve read !! also ps pls feel free to send me some of ur own favs bc i miss reading fics && i’m begrudgingly admitting that i’m not great at finding fics,, like sm of these i have to thank yeona for sending me :00

ot13/multi/love interest revealed later on !!

UNDER THE SUN - @wooahaes (series // fantasy/darl+ing au // multi ot13 part)

i think i’ve rbed almost all the individual parts if ur interested in my more specific thoughts but this series has been an absolute comfort series for me for a while !! the relationships between the members and the reader - both platonic and romantic have been so lovely to read !! it’s such a genuinely warm series and the worldbuilding is also just soso fantastic !! it is a fantasy sort of au,, so it’s a bit daunting to get into just because the logic of the universes created in this genre is a bit difficult to grasp,, but uts has such an easy to comprehend world and everything is explained so clearly !! it’s genuinely one of the most comforting fics i’ve read this year and one that i’d highly recommend to pretty much everyone,, even if u aren’t a carat :D

APARTMENT A5C - @suhnshinehaos (smau - college au)

my favorite svt smau that combines some of my fav tropes/aus (housemates and uni) !! ++ i’d argue there’s a found family aspect that just melts my heart soso much,, like the reader’s relationship with the 96 line, both platonic and romantic are insanely heartwarming and comforting !! the banter is so entertaining && all of the additional friendships are just to die for !! esp sana and yuta with the reader !! but honestly this smau is just soso sweet and a story where u really root for the main couple to get together bc they just fit each other so well !! def another fic i’d recommend to anyone !!

LOVESTRUCK @/suhnshinehaos (smau - college au)

short endings for the reader’s other housemates !! has the same entertaining banter and cute relationship buildup that is just soso perfect to read after apartment a5c to treat ur post fic sadness <3 all the relationships are formed in a shorter period of time, but with just that same amount of investment !!

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

OBVIOUS - @leejungchans  (0.9k words - wedding florist and baker au) 

so stinking cute !! the reader and seungcheol having related businesses and appreciating each other’s dedications to their respective crafts is soso endearing :D genuinely my fav seungcheol fic bc hello ? good writing + sulky cheol + established relationship ? an absolute 10/10 and must read that i revisit way too often :D

YOON JEONGHAN

ORDER UP - @/leejungchans  (2.4k - cafe au)

half of these r gonna b recs from sol’s masterlist,, but her works r just too good !! this fic is so darn cute and entertaining, with jeonghan’s antics + his classic attention n care for those in his life were captured so well !! him remembering the reader’s order and his sheer dedication to orchestrating an opportunity for a conversation outside of the reader placing their order was just so fun to read && is genuinely a fic i reread time and time again :D

CAUGHT @/leejungchans (1.1k - preschool? teachers au)

this. this is so insanely endearing hello ?? jeonghan as a preschool teacher is absolutely perfect, and the banter mixed with such tender love that the reader and jeonghan share is just so <3 it’s a relatively short read,, so i’d highly, HIGHLY, recommend giving this a read because it’s soso worth it,, esp if ur feeling a bit down and in need of something fun and sweet to read :D

REDEMPTION @/leejungchans (11.5k)

such whirlwind of emotions but soso insanely riveting !! bad boy jeonghan,,, oh my gosh a concept i (YOU !!) never knew i (YOU !!) needed in my life. him driving a motorcycle. him w tattoos. insane. amazing. fantastic. and a redemption arc ??? reader holding him accountable for wrongdoings ??? genuine efforts to change ?? go read it rn !! u must !!

CANDLELIGHT @/leejungchans (1.2k) - a fav bc its own of my fav tropes :D (blind dates)

my all time favorite jeonghan fic. literally so sweet to read and had me grinning ?? in the middle of the night ?? at my phone !! that’s outrageous !! but so insanely understandable bc this is such an enjoyable read && just so easily heartwarming to hear about the setup of the blind date. honestly,, i don’t think i can understate just how charming and worth reading this is !! 

THE MOST PRECIOUS THING @idyllic-ghost​ (3.6k - hospital/secret relationship au) 

another charming and lovely fic !!! i’m such a sucker for the secret relationship trope,, and this fic had such a fantastic take on it !! i adored the dynamic that jeonghan and the reader had, esp how much they cared for and rooted for each other :DD the banter at work and the tender love they share at home was also just,, absolutely chef’s kiss !!

HONG JOSHUA

LOVE ON THE AIR @suhnshinehaos​ (smau - college au)

i was. so invested in this smau LMAO but the reader and joshua’s friendship was soso lovely to read !! the buildup and tension were absolutely insane and genuinely had me so excited every time i logged onto tumblr to check for any updates :D the side friendships were also just so lovable and endearing,, and i found this smau to overall b super super charming :D

GOLDEN HOUR @dkfile​ 1(2.4k - summer vacation/bffs2l au)

joshua and the reader’s friendship is just so insanely sweet and endearing to read !! this fic is so reminiscent of a sentimental and fun coming of age romance,, which i feel like fits joshua soso well !! the whole time ur rooting soso hard for the main couple to get together, and just reading the buildup is incredibly entertaining !! and also the banter ?? literally so amazing && funny :D

WEN JUNHUI

HOW HARD MY HEART’S BEATING @adi--writes (3.3k - travel/photographer au)

the prose,, oh my gosh !! this fic played out so cinematically !! i loved jun and the reader’s friendship so much,, and how the fic progresses just naturally makes u root for a confession scene regardless of them being the main couple !! everything flowed so organically and their travel stories made for such a beautiful and compelling journey of love :D

KWON SOONYOUNG

(UN)TRADITIONAL @neonun-au (1.8k - wedding au)

the alt title >>> this fic was so full of personality and the premise just fits soonyoung so well !!! the bond that the reader and soonyoung share is just so insanely heartwarming,, esp their mutual understanding and respect for each other’s values !! in general,, the love in this fic is so genuine and lovable :DDD

JEON WONWOO

FLOWER @wonwoonlight (13k - exes au / editor+writer au)

this premise. my gosh it’s perfect !! this fic was such a great take on the second chance trope and the emotions were so fantastically fleshed out !! the progression of wonwoo and the reader’s relationship felt so natural and overall so enjoyable to read :DD

PLAY AGAIN @shuarush (37k words - coworkers au)

the pining !! the tension !! the friendships !! the anecdotes !! the prose !! go read it !! rn !! overall this was such a beautiful journey to read and i enjoyed it soso much :D aside from the main relationship,, i found the reader and jeonghan’s friendship to be soso sweet and endearing !! i also loved loved loved !!!! the writing style in this fic !! everything was so well paced and patient,, which made for such a compelling and beautiful journey that i absolutely loved !!

LEE JIHOON

LIVE @wondernus (1.24k - est relationship au)

so stinking cute !!!! i’m such a sucker for fics like these where the love interest is live and everyone’s also swooning over how sweet the relationship is :DD the love jihoon has for the reader is soso heartwarming and fuels my unending yearning for this sort of cute partnership <//3 this fic is just so enjoyable and the ending. it’s perfect :DDD bc same soonyoung,, same

HEARTACHE AND A LATTE @dkfile (9.3k - cafe au)

read this after not reading any fics for a WHILE and this was just such a chef’s kiss fic :D like the friendships with seungkwan, soonyoung, jeonghan, and wonwoo ?? amazing !!! but the buildup w jihoon !!! my gosh it was so genuinely cute !! i absolutely adored their friendship and the little indications of jihoon’s feelings for the reader :D just such a cute and lighthearted fic that i’d highly rec !!!

LEE SEOKMIN

SOMETHING SWEET @wonwoonlight (2.1k - cafe au)

your honor i love this fic !!!! w all my heart !!!! this fic captured just how lovable seokmin is && had such a cute pining plot :DD this was soso heartwarming and i was so easily invested in their relationship !! overall,, just such a sweet and enjoyable read :DD

KIM MINGYU

MY DAISY @wonwoonlight (series)

this. this was so fantastic. genuinely,,, everyone needs to read this when they can bc it is soso worth reading !!! i loved the friendships and the reader’s relationship with mingyu so much,, and gyuri !!!! gyuri !!!!! honestly i don’t think i can explain just how much i love this fic,, but pls,, pls read this bc this series is so insanely fantastic and had me so invested the whole way :DD

FIVE SHOTS AT LOVE @wooahaes​ (8.5k)

one of my favorite fics !! one of the first fics i read and i just absolutely fell in love with the setup of this fic,,, like the friendship with wonwoo just absolutely won my heart,, and the deepening relationship with the reader was the cherry on top !! such a beautiful and emotionally vulnerable fic that i found so much joy and sadness, but ultimately such an insane amount of comfort in :D def read and check out some of the warnings beforehand just in case !!

TRIAL AND ERROR @/leejungchans (2.9k - cafe au)

SUCH a cute little fic about mingyu trying to approach the reader but failing so miserably each time :D i had such a great time reading this and rooting for mingyu in each attempt !! his genuine earnestness was so adorable to read the way the ending panned out gave me so many giggles :D

XU MINGHAO

ACADEMIC INFATUATION @berriesandjunnie​ (2.5k - professor au)

i love a college setting, workplace romance, and any au where everyone around the reader/main couple are just rooting so hard for them to get together !!! and omg professor hao AND flustered hao ?? like bc of his feelings and nervousness ?? omg literally such a lovely read !!! i had such a good time reading this && got a bit of a giggle which is so 10/10 when reading a fic !!! def read !!!!

AVANTE GARDE @hoyoungy (4.1k - uni/artist au)

tbh as someone who really loves art,, i found this fic suuper enjoyable !! and black mullet minghao ?? hello ?? overall,, i loved the development of minghao and the reader’s relationship soso much and the general nature of how they get to know one another :D like i was soso invested in their journey and just really loved the appreciation both of them grow and have for each other :DD vv worth reading and would highly recommend :D 

BOO SEUNGKWAN

CLASSMATES TO LOVERS @/leejungchans (2.1l uni au)

bulletfics are def such a gem to read,, like short n sweet,, just perfect for a cute little fic :D i adored seungkwan’s impression of the reader and his sheer admiration for them !! like the chemistry was so on point and executed so well in this format too !! AND THE CHOCOLATES gosh this is so cute i love how seungkwan was written in this fic !! 

CHWE VERNON

WORK HUSBAND @wondernus​ (8.8k - teacher au)

my gosh this was soso cute,, like literally i’ve reread this more times than i can admit :0 the reader and vernon’s friendship is just so endearing and felt so genuine !! i really enjoyed reading the buildup of their relationship and just found this to be such a charming story !! like what i would give. to read this for the first time again PLEASE read this !!!

OR WOULD YOU RATHER IT BE ME @thepixelelf (7.9k - soulmate au)

a whole journey of emotions that had me on the edge of my seat and waiting for the reveal !!! the relationship between the reader and vernon were established so well,, like their genuine care and desire for each other to stay in their lives just straight up tugs at my heartstrings !!! this was such a wholesome and hilarious love story that i thoroughly enjoyed :D

LEE CHAN (aka leejungchans chan fics :DDD)

THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS (6.5k words - flower/tattoo shop au)

i loved the contrast between the reader and chan’s character soso much,, and how that ultimately made their relationship soso much more cute and lovable ?? like how intimidated he was and his little crush that he tried so hard to squander !! i love the progression of their relationship soso much and how genuine chan was written in this fic !!!!

OF STICKY NOTES AND STRANGERS (3.8k words)

every time i sit in a library, cafe, or park, i’m waiting for this to happen to me. i adore the premise of this soso much and how the reader’s friend group schemes to catch the perpetrator :DD like overall this fic was so lovely and i def understand the little crushes you get in public on attractive people in your vicinity while working in a public space :DD just so cute,, so heartwarming,, and def fuels my yearning

SCORED! (12.4k words - uni au)

athlete chan,,, oh wow,,,,, this fic was one of the first chan fics i read as i got into seventeen and definitely cemented him as one of my biases in the group :DD i love the banter that went on between the reader and chan,, as well as all the hilarious little details of the other columns !! like project vernway is forever ingrained in my mind whenever i see pieces christiano siriano or any other contestants from project runway !!! overall i just love how this fic played out and all of the hilarious interactions between everyone involved !!! def a super fun read :DDD

[allylikethecat]

ally!! i am extremely busy with uni assignments rn and keeping my new puppy from destroying everything and unfortunately for me i have had NO time to read your wonderful updates.

i did however find some time to read the latest on a friday update today and i was going INSANE. tbh i’m about to treat myself to a re-read rn bc omg you are insane and this update was so good. (also can’t believe you double updated us that’s so crazy it’s like christmas - i cannot wait to read ducklings)

first of all fictional!matty’s distress was so wonderfully written i don’t know how you manage to devastate me and get me more and more invested each time u put him through something lol it’s SO GOOOD

secondly, i’m afraid i may have to accuse you of being a bit of a liar bc there is no way that you can claim to be a sub-par smut writer after this — this chapter was so intense and so well-written and i truly think your writing (smut and otherwise lol) is so wonderful — i just hope that you see that too!!!!!

p.s this dynamic between fictional!matty and fictional!george is lowkey super hot i love how u write these characters, my friend u r a genius !

— 💌

Ahhh hello my dear 💌 anon! No worries all oh my gosh! The updates will always be there! I hope that uni is going well and a new puppy is SO EXCITING even if they are trying to destroy everything 🥺

Ahhh I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the new chapter of On a Friday though!! I was feeling rather insecure about it since 1) smut isn't something I am very confident in writing (even though everyone has been so supportive and lovely and kind about my attempt omg) and 2) I was like... is it too jarring having Fictional!Matty going from crying in the bathtub to getting fucked lol

AHH I'm so happy that you enjoyed the angst portion of the chapter, I really wanted to show how panicked and not in the right headspace he was, and how irrational his thought process was (ex. he was paying the alpha to help him, everything was on his terms she was never going to actually hurt him and he was only able to shove her off of him because she let him because he was in control of their interactions the entire time) I'm so glad you liked it though I do apologize for the devastation 😬

Oh my gosh 🥰 this is honestly so kind of you to say. I'm so happy that you enjoy my writing in general but that you also enjoyed my attempt at writing smut! I know I have a long way to go, and will hopefully get more confident but I'm so glad that my first attempt wasn't as embarrassing as I feared it would be. I'm so glad that you like their dynamic! I've had a lot of fun working on it and building it up / fleshing it out- it's different from some of the other Fictional!Matty/Fictional!George dynamics I've crafted and leaning into those differences has been super fun and rewarding!

I can't wait to hear your thoughts on Ducklings when the time comes and I hope you continue to enjoy my fics! Thank you again for the continued support!! Once again I hope uni and the new puppy are going well, and that you are having a fantastic Monday and a great rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[moonbaby26]

(gif from Jason Passaro’s youtube edit here)

Title: One Shitty Friday Night (Part 1)

Pairings: Peter Maximoff x Fem!Reader, Colossus x Shadowcat

Summary: Set after the events of Deadpool 2, you and your boyfriend Peter are on a double date downtown with your fellow X-Men Piotr Rasputin (Colossus) and Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) when Deadpool and Russell arrive unexpectedly. Chaos and violence naturally ensues, including taking down mafia henchmen, dealing with news media and paparazzi who circle in with the action, and a jealous Peter. This will be concluded in Part 2 with the mixed reactions of Logan, Charles, and Erik when you all bring Wade and Russell back home, etc. 😄

Notes: For simplicity’s sake as Piotr R. is normally called “Peter” as well, he’ll just be referred to as Colossus here.

Warnings: Some alcohol use. And it’s Deadpool, so a lot of cursing and irreverent jokes of course. This started out as just crack!fic that became actual fic that had to be split into two parts because it hit post limit. Holy cow.

Peter Maximoff x Reader Masterlist

—————————

Kitty all but snorted, trying to put her drink back down on the table before it could end up fully sideways instead as her laughter left her trembling.

Colossus sighed quietly, but you could still see the warmth in his eyes as he looked down at her before helping dab up some of her errant wine off the table with a thick cloth napkin.

It was late Friday night, and save for your semi disapproving, large and very Russian designated driver, the other three of you were now several drinks deep and a bit too loudly enjoying Peter’s retelling of the Led Zeppelin cover band debacle. You’d been there with him that night, but it never got old the way Peter told it.

“I shit you not, and this guy still keeps hitting on Jean.” Peter continued, his third nearly empty glass of craft beer still in hand. “Scott’s about to fry the dude. They’re playing Immigrant Song, and these lasers start up. All dudebros in the club go wild, and Scott tries to sneak off a warning shot. Freaking air balls it! I have to move like forty people and it still blows a damn hole in the wall. But nobody even noticed! Fake Robert Plant is screaming his heart out and everybody is just eating it up. I swear my Dad could have flown in there, cape billowing and they still would have thought it was part of the show!”

You were at risk of being elbowed in this small restaurant booth, with how animated Peter was as he spoke beside you. But you didn’t mind. The lighting was dim, possibly verging on romantic, the smell of good food from the kitchen reminded you of what was to come, and you were just enjoying time with some of your favorite people.

When Peter did finally drop his hand again though, the not so subtle movements of it then up your thigh also promised something much more personal later tonight. Maybe it was the warmth from the mixed drinks you were also nursing, but you shifted your leg a little, pushing even more into his touch under the table. Your movement just signaled your silent agreement to him that tonight would be a perfect night to be throwing clothes on the floor as soon as you got back to your shared room at the mansion.

It’d been a long, tiring week after all. Helping teach classes during the day and training your ass off in the danger room every night, you didn’t think it was unreasonable to cut loose a bit now.

Even Colossus was chuckling a little at last, but the big guy was always softest around Kitty. You in particular had been one of her biggest supporters when she’d first confessed her attraction towards him. You’d noticed his bashfulness with her as well, and all the little glances he’d given her long before she’d ever worked up the courage to ask him out.

But that seemed so long ago now, it was hard to really remember a time when they weren’t together. Almost as long as you and Peter really.

You glanced up as the waiter came back by to check on you all, saying your food would be out in a few more minutes and asking if anyone needed more drinks.

“Oh gosh, we’re really running up the tab right?” Kitty smiled.

You could see the little bit of relief in Colossus’ expression as she waved the waiter off though, her current wine glass still nearly full. “I’m fine for now, thank you.”

Peter glanced at you and you nodded as well. A buzz was fine, but you didn’t want to be climbing the mansion stairs full on drunk tonight. “I’m good.”

As the waiter left, your conversation got a little more subdued. You leaned into Peter somewhat, hip to hip in the booth as he put his arm around your waist.

Kitty was now talking about a movie she thought you should all go see next weekend if you could. You were just in the process of agreeing as you’d wanted to see it too, when Colossus suddenly went stock still, a look of real surprise on his face.

Kitty evidently noticed as soon as you did, you both staring up at him in unison.

“Do not turn around,” He instructed to you and Peter, eyes locked on something behind you.

Of course when told to do one thing, it would take everything in Peter’s willpower to not do the opposite. But to his credit he actually did hesitate. “Do we need to be dodging something? I mean, I can move us if I need to, man. You just gotta let me know.” Peter stated.

“I don’t think he’s seen us yet. Please do not draw attention.” Colossus responded, still frustratingly vague to the rest of you.

But he hadn’t metaled up yet, his skin still entirely human looking. So on the plus side, it couldn’t be someone he thought an immediate physical threat.

You glanced to Kitty for some hope of explanation as she was seated beside Colossus and facing the same direction. But she was too short in comparison to him, and couldn’t see all the way across the booth dividers as easily as he could. “Well who is it?” Kitty demanded quietly.

But you heard an impatient voice carry over clearly from the nearby restaurant entrance.

“Look, you know he’s here. I know he’s here. Don’t make me leave you guys a bad Yelp review. I will totally Karen that shit up. I’m just here for him.” A pause. “...And some of the cannolis. God, I love those things. You went a little scarce on the filling last time though. Don’t make me add that to the Yelp review.”

You heard the hostess stutter, fear evidently building. “Sir, firearms are not allowed in this restaurant. The owner, he, I...I can’t.”

There was a loud sigh from the man, the distinct sound of a gun cocking, and then all hell broke loose.

“WADE!” Colossus screamed, your entire table flipping as he stood up, metal now encasing him in this even larger form.

Abruptly you were now standing back by the entrance yourself. Peter had one arm around you, and the other around Kitty as he let you both go just as instantly, having just brought you there before he disappeared again.

That little flare up of vertigo from the speed and sudden stop didn’t mix well with the alcohol, and she and you both stood there another moment, queasy as Peter appeared again with an armful of guns.

It would have been comical as he clearly had no idea where to put them now, but everyone else that had still been in the restaurant was already screaming and running for the doors in a panic.

The owner of the multiple guns couldn’t care less about the crowd however, only turning his full focus to the lot of you then in exasperation.

“Oh my God, you anti second amendment, mother fuckers. I’m in the middle of a job here!”

“You can’t just point guns at innocent people, Wade! We have talked about this many times!” Colossus retorted, all seven foot of him now standing over Deadpool with paternal like annoyance.

“For fuck’s sake, it’s called a threat. I wasn’t going to kill her you overprotective, asshat! Now Giovanni is probably holed up in some pussy ass panic room, or he’s already ghosted me out the back door! And yes, I know that is such a stereotypical mob boss name and totally sounds like the Pokemon villain. Fuck him and his always trying to take Pikachu! He had a talking cat the whole time who just wanted his love, but no, got to have the electric rat. Fuck!”

“Language, Wade!” Colossus scolded. “There is still a child present!”

And honestly in all this insanity, that was the first time you actually noticed Russell also still standing there. Everyone else in the room had now fled out into the street.

“I’m fucking fourteen,” The boy replied defiantly. “And yeah, we were working!”

“Daddy and angrier metal daddy are just talking, hon.” Deadpool commented, waving a hand.

There was a small gust of air beside you and you looked to Peter knowingly. Wade’s guns were now all on a table, though intentionally still distant from your current position. “So I just made a couple laps.” Peter spoke up. “The cops are already coming, and there’s still a bunch of guys in the basement. They were opening some crates, probably getting weapons? I didn’t know if we were taking them out yet though. I didn’t touch anything. But is Giovanni like a big dude with gold rings and all?”

“I’m telling you besides the drug and human trafficking, it’s practically more criminal how much he sets back Italian-American stereotypes. They are an honest, manicotti making people goddamn it.” Deadpool answered.

You really were starting to regret the amount of drinks you’d had. If you’d known tonight was going to be anything like this, you would have gladly stuck to water. Your head was already trying to throb a little as you finally spoke. “So, does this guy actually have warrants out on him? If the cops come, they’re all going to end up shooting each other most likely. Can we just defuse this by giving him up to them?”

“I would say we assist to prevent unnecessary bloodshed, if that is the case, yes. I’m sure the Professor would prefer that.” Colossus agreed.

“Freaking goody two shoes, all of you.” Wade sighed. “But he has to get arrested or dead okay? I don’t get paid otherwise.” He paused though, then looking back up to Colossus before suddenly elbowing him. As if he’d even really feel that. “And hello rudeness, are you not going to introduce me to your little girls night out club here before we go bust some heads in a gratuitous X-Force/X-Men hotties crossover?”

“X-Force?” Kitty asked, sounding as already over this as could be.

“Well, we are a little empty on the roster at the moment. Some...unfortunate parachuting incidents. Wind advisory that day. You know how it goes.” Deadpool shrugged.

By her expression, no. She did not know how it went.

But the sooner you started, the sooner this could be over. Colossus motioned to each of you in turn, “Peter, (Y/N), and Kitty. These are my teammates and friends.” He nodded back to Deadpool, “And this is Wade.” And then to the boy. “And Russell.”

Of course you already knew who they both were. It’d been a bit of a scandal really, with the whole Essex House fiasco and the deaths that had occurred there. Fair or not, a lot of the blame had ended up on Juggernaut the second time around though you thought. Which is why Charles hadn’t had to deal with too much bad press in the aftermath.

You could not let this become another Essex House situation for the X-Men though. You were about to speak up about heading to the basement together and Deadpool staying out of your way so you all could neutralize everyone without any fatal hits, when he gasped dramatically, making you freeze again.

“Kitty!? Like an actual girl named Kitty? Oh my God, this whole time I thought you were his cat!” He hit his own leg, laughing. “I’m thinking, holy shit this guy loves his goddamn cat, but who am I to judge you know? I had a dog named Mr. Shuggums. Cutest little fucker.” He took a breath. “I miss him.”

“Wade.” Colossus groaned. “We do not have all night.”

Okay, so there was still something sweet about Colossus gushing about his girlfriend even to this manic mercenary. But no kidding, this show really needed to get on the road here.

“Guys, why don’t we just let Peter disarm them all, Colossus, you grab Giovanni, and Kitty and I deal with anyone who still resists? No one has to get hurt, and then it’s all done, easy.”

“And then we go find somewhere else to eat. Killing me here. I wanted that damn calzone and tiramisu.” Peter sighed, pulling his goggles back down over his eyes again. “More guns coming up.”

He disappeared at once, but when he didn’t return immediately as you were so accustomed to, you and Kitty exchanged a nervous look.

And after only another few seconds, your instincts told you something had definitely gone wrong.

“Is the basement directly beneath us?” You asked Deadpool sharply, already reaching out a hand to Kitty. Your adrenaline was starting, all good feelings gone as it was now time to act.

But you’d worked together long enough now, you didn’t have to explain your plan to her or Colossus.

Yet when the previously mouthy merc had no instant response, just staring at you in thought, it was clear he hadn’t done any recon beforehand at all. He’d literally just walked in here and expected everything to work out.

“Perfect.” Kitty said sarcastically, glancing quickly to Colossus as she took your hand. “You’re our backup, dear, in case our vertical entrance doesn’t work out. Come find us.”

“Always.” He said, already turning, his weight shaking the floor as he ran to look for any stairway downward while you and Kitty dropped straight through the floor.

It was surely a risk of its own to use her phasing ability so blindly as this. You could end up in a too small crawlspace, in underground piping, a sewer system, anything really. She’d make sure not to go solid until it was safe, as to not impale or bury you alive of course. But if Peter were in trouble, there was no time to waste by ending up at a dead end and having to go back up and try again.

You’d held your breath, as there was no way for you to process oxygen either as your lungs and every other part of you shifted through the other matter. It was darkness and insulation, pipes, and conduit that flashed by at first. But in the fractions of seconds that it took to fall, you had already powered up. The white light of your energy field overtaking your body, shielding you both as you did fall into a larger open area.

It was even darker than the restaurant above, all concrete and dampness. The glow from your body was the brightest thing there as much more men than you’d expected all turned in surprise. You saw the glint of multiple gun barrels now, but the thing you wanted to see most was Peter’s silver hair as you’d scanned the area for him instantly.

There was a stairwell in the distance. He was laying near the bottom of it. But you had no time to be shocked or afraid, only anger swelled as you released Kitty’s hand, making you solid again. “I’ll get him.” Was all you said. Letting her know to protect herself as you flew to him. Bullets couldn’t hurt her if she was ready for them. But Peter would be defenseless without one of you now, and by means of your power of flight you were the faster of you and her.

The man closest to Peter had a different kind of gun though you realized. Something you didn’t recognize at all as he aimed at you. You splayed your palms to create an energy shield in front of you as he pulled the trigger.

It didn’t make a sound though. But everything around you instantly distorted as pain exploded through you. You saw five or six of him now, as your feet hit the ground, unable to concentrate enough to fly then. But even as you stumbled, realizing your shielding wasn’t fully stopping whatever that weapon was doing, you were still able to expand your shield rapidly, hitting the man with the force of a car in your pain and sending him flying into a nearby wall, the weapon clattering to the ground lightly against his now limp body.

But you still felt like you were going to puke.

“Kill them you idiots!” Someone screamed.

You dropped yourself, laying over Peter just as quickly, grateful to feel him breathing as you focused through the pain to extend a shield around you both as the gunfire started.

“Bitch!” Another man yelled as Kitty just walked unharmed through all the flying bullets towards you.

“Shadowcat actually,” She said, skilled enough in her powers to choose what was solid and what wasn’t. Just the outside of her fist being all she needed to crush his nose in one punch with a squirt of blood, and only the end of her foot used as she swept her leg after to knock his own right out from under him.

Even among your own team, sometimes people could forget that that petite Jewish girl was about as skilled a martial artist as anyone could be.

“Babe?” You heard against your ear though, glancing back down to Peter. There was real relief even in the chaos as you saw him smile up at you.

He talked back against your ear in the noise as Kitty continued to utterly wreck the guys around you. “I fucked up a little, right? That gun...they already had it going, aimed at the door when I came back, a trap...I think I hit every stair on the way down...I still see like three of you right now.”

“Ditto.” You breathed.

And then there was another even louder noise as the remnants of a door also came flying down the stairs. Colossus barreled in behind it like a stampeding elephant, Deadpool right behind him as they leapt over the both of you and joined the fray.

“We found the basement!” Deadpool announced gleefully, swords swinging. “Don’t think they’d even locked the door back actually, but fuck if big Russki doesn’t love a dramatic entrance!”

For a moment you thought all your words about at least trying not to kill had been for nothing, thinking Deadpool was going to chop these men into literal pieces. But even as blood sprayed left and right, you realized he was just cutting tendons. The men then unable to hold their guns, unable to stand at all as he crippled each he reached in succession.

It was still completely horrific, but hell, how much could you really ask for from someone like him? Especially when you yourself had slammed that one man into a concrete wall as if he were a ragdoll. You glanced over anxiously for a moment, glad to see him shifting a little, but still crumpled exactly where you’d thrown him. He was alive, a small relief at least.

——————————

Obviously the other gunmen hadn’t had a prayer either though once you’d all been down there together.

Colossus already had a still cursing Giovanni slung over one shoulder as you were now helping Peter back up and trying not to step in all the blood as you all walked over to Kitty.

“What a mess...very interesting weapon though,” She spoke of that odd gun that’d been used on you and Peter, it now in her hands as she turned it one way and then another examining it. “I’m bringing this back with us. The police don’t need anything like this. Hank and I can figure out how it works. And how to defend against it hopefully before we run into another one of these out in the field.”

“It seems this Giovanni was more a threat than expected,” Colossus said, giving the still squirming man an unhappy look, before looking back to you all. “Are you alright, Peter?”

“I’m still hungry.” Peter grumbled, an arm over your shoulder to still help stabilize him as his other hand went to his head as if it were pounding. He also had some bruising starting on his face, no doubt from his tumble down the stairs. “I wouldn’t have drank so damn much if I’d known we weren’t going to eat...”

With the speed of his metabolism, that alcohol likely was hitting him pretty hard now on his already empty stomach.

“We should turn this guy over and get out of here.” You agreed. Though you didn’t feel so hot yourself. Still a little nauseous from whatever that weapon did to your senses. But at least you weren’t seeing triple of everything anymore.

“Hold it, girl scouts!” Deadpool piped up, chipper as ever as he grabbed something at Giovanni’s neck before any of you could think to stop him.

The man choked just a moment though, before a piece of metal snapped off into Wade’s hands. It was a necklace, with a symbol of some sort. You saw just a glimpse of it before Deadpool pocketed it. “No proof of finishing the job, no payday for DP. No payday, then no liquor, no coke, no hookers. Am I right?”

It was too difficult to tell when if ever he was serious, and you all chose to ignore his comment, starting back up the stairs. The odd sounds of bullet fragments falling back down the stairwell caught Peter’s attention though as he gave a grossed out look to Wade for a moment.

The now impact deformed bullets were starting to work themselves back out of all the bloody holes in Deadpool’s costume. You knew where you’d seen that before of course, but Peter was the only one that actually said it aloud.

“Damn, you and Logan would be a pair.”

There was a pause, and you could swear even with the mask, you thought you saw Wade’s cheekbones move in a way that signaled he was outright grinning from ear to ear. “At least someone gets it. He still won’t return my calls though. Such a diva lately.”

Once you did get to the top of the stairs, you only found a very agitated Russell standing there, Wade’s guns in his arms. “You took long enough, the cops are outside you know. I’m not going back to jail for you!”

“Cool your tater tots, kid.” Deadpool responded lazily, in no hurry, but grabbing the weapons back to holster them all regardless.

“I could have finished this faster! I would have fried their asses!” Russell argued.

“You would have been shot. Fire does not stop bullets.” Colossus only answered matter of factly.

Russell made a face, but Wade cut him off before he could say any more.

“Now now, listen to metal daddy. No sass. And actually, I think there’s something we should talk about, champ. X-Force is way more badass and all, but we don’t exactly have a training and junior member tier yet. Maybe later. You might want to think about riding home with these guys and checking their setup out. I don’t have any powers myself to relate to you like that, except me being very shootable, devastatingly charming, sexy, smart, and a competitive level Skee-Ball player...”

Deadpool sighed, continuing. “But these guys have a Danger Room. Which is totally not a sex dungeon, yeah I was bummed about that too. But they could let you unleash that school shooter level teenage angst and burn all the shit you wanted until you really figure out your powers.”

Russel bristled. “I’m not a school shooter you prick! And you always said the X-Men were neutered dweebs and-”

Wade coughed loudly, ushering Russell forward suddenly as you all continued to walk. “Hah, kids. Such darlings. Mishear everything don’t they?”

Colossus only answered without offense though. “The offer is still open, Russell. Though you have said no before. The Professor would never turn down a young mutant in need.”

It was Peter who surprised you a little, a smirk on his face as he contributed. “Freaking sweet house too, man. Xavier’s loaded. Big screen TV, a pool, basketball court, your own room, supersonic jet. Bunch of cute girls as well, or cute boys, you know whatever you’re into.”

“I’m not gay.” Russell huffed, but actually looked to be listening now as he didn’t immediately spit back with a sarcastic retort.

Though you gave Peter a weird look and he just grinned. “What? I stayed for you didn’t I, babe? Just saying. I wasn’t exactly on board with the whole team thing before that either. I know where he’s coming from is all.”

“It’s up to you, Russell.” Kitty said more diplomatically, before returning to the matter at hand. “We’re parked at that parking garage two blocks south. Everyone meet back there, Colossus and I will hand this guy over to the cops out front. The rest of you, I’m sure there’s got to be some emergency exit you can sneak out of. Probably better to split up actually. Less attention.”

—————————

Just as Kitty had suggested, Deadpool and Russell went out one way, and you and Peter another. You came out onto another street behind the restaurant. And you’d just finally started to relax again, Peter taking your hand in his own and walking away like an honest to God normal couple for once, just out on the town together before you noticed an oddly placed white van with distinct lettering on it.

Peter saw it too just as the light from a camera hit you both.

“Hell,” You breathed.

“Want to run?” He asked seriously.

“Too late, they’d just film us ditching, and say we had something to hide.”

Your headache was returning in full force you thought as you steeled yourself, seeing the reporter now in a full sprint towards you.

“It’s Quicksilver! And (your codename)! The X-Men are here!” A woman shouted.

As you walked closer to the news van, the camera flashes only increased. It looked like a small group of paparazzi had also camped out here, hoping for this exact result. How did word travel so damn fast?

“Marcia Fletcher, WAFN nightly news!” She introduced herself at once, her camera man there just as quickly, huffing a little from the run as he got you both in focus.

You could see the lights on on his camera as she shoved her microphone in front of you and Peter. “You’re on live coverage of the Ruffiano’s restaurant shootings with WAFN. Is it true that Giovani Marcello was apprehended here tonight by the X-Men? And how did you know he was here when he’s been on Interpol’s most wanted list for four years?”

You knew without looking at him that Peter was happily deferring the speaking role to you now as you tried not to look rattled. You attempted to think of what Charles would and wouldn’t want you to say, even with the pain in your head and lingering nausea. “We didn’t know who was here. We were in the area and saw people running and went to help, that’s all.” You lied.

“But the reports of gunshots, witnesses also said Deadpool had drawn a gun on a restaurant employee and Colossus was seen inside. Is Deadpool now affiliated with the X-Men again? Did he shoot anyone?”

“Deadpool is not affiliated with the X-Men. Colossus was here tonight, but he only would have been defending anyone he thought in danger. Deadpool did not shoot anyone.” You tried to keep to short truths that time.

“But then why was Deadpool there? Should people really believe it would be a coincidence that the X-Men and Deadpool would be at the same incidence at one time if not working together?”

“Well you’re here aren’t you? Are you affiliated with us?” You replied before you could stop yourself, though still restraining the annoyance you really wanted to put into that statement. “Trouble attracts a crowd.”

Peter made a sound, a restrained laugh you knew. But before the reporter could blurt out another question, one of the now growing number of paparazzi called out, “(Your codename), hey look here! Is it true you and Quicksilver are still dating!?”

You knew better than to be baited, humoring any of them just made it worse. They were like piranhas. But Peter couldn’t help it, turning to look as so many cameras flashed. His arm slid around you protectively. “Why wouldn’t we be, dude?” He called back.

“Are you saying the photos of (your codename) and Gambit were before you two reconciling?”

It took every ounce of your self control to not respond, but oh God did you want to. It was the mission in Tanzania. You knew it. You, Storm, and Gambit. Peter had stayed in the U.S. for that one as it’d been the holidays and his Mom had wanted both he and Wanda over for some time together.

After the mission was over, the three of you had ended up on one of the beautiful Tanzanian beaches for a single day. Just a single day to yourselves.

You’d had the audacity to wear a revealing bathing suit though and you and Remy had been photographed together, him shirtless of course because it was a goddamn beach. And laughing and smiling because, surprise, you were friends! And they’d cropped Ororo out in all the closeups for complete loss of context.

It’d been a thing in some of the tabloids for a while, but you really thought that had finally blown over. Of course if anyone asked Remy, he liked to play coy on the whole subject to keep up his God’s gift to all men and women sex symbol status.

“Peter, let’s just go,” You whispered in his ear, sure anything else said would only make things worse.

But you could read him all too well, and when he turned his face to look back at you, you already knew what he was going to do. You didn’t try to stop him, because never would you humiliate him on live television with any type of rejection, but oh, you would never live this one down. Never.

He kissed you hard. And there was nothing fake about it, honestly the kind of kiss usually reserved for your bedroom as you felt heat rising up in you. The camera flashes clicking over and over as you could still taste the alcohol he’d drank before.

When he finally released you again, you gasped a little. He gave the photographers a ‘fuck you’ look, before speaking just to you. “Now we can go.”

“Fly or run?” You breathed.

“Fly please. I’m still about half out of it.” He admitted.

You powered up to some surprised and excited sounds from the crowd. Your whole body glowing white again in the energy you emitted.

“Wait, aren’t you going to stay and talk to the police!?” The reporter shouted.

“They know where to find us if they need us.” You answered, extending your energy field around Peter, before you took off vertically, making sure to get sideways over the rooftops as soon as you could though to breakup their camera angles and finally give you privacy again at last.

You landed gently atop the parking garage only a few moments later, letting him go again as you powered back down.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked, just taking your hand again though.

“No.” You said truthfully. “But, I have no idea what we’ve really just done. We still have to go home...home where the Professor always watches the 10:00 news with his late night tea.”

Peter sighed, only half joking. “We could always go stay with my Mom for a while?”

You just moved in closer, pulling him against you as you laid your head on his shoulder. “We’ll survive, babe. Somehow we always do.”

“I think that says more about you than me though. Pretty sure I’d be face down in a ditch somewhere already if it weren’t for you.”

You chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck then before raising your head back up to kiss him once more. Much softer this time, and even longer than his jealous little display a few minutes ago.

He made one of his little noises of contentment, hands sliding down to squeeze your butt through the thin pants you were wearing. As he pulled your hips tighter against him, he broke the kiss enough to speak regretfully. “I really was hoping to get lucky tonight...”

“Same.” You smiled. It had been a while. Mostly from you both being so tired by the time you finally got in bed. Passing out on each other had more been the norm the past couple weeks. “We get some food in you, and see where things go?”

“Gross! Get a room!”

You startled at the sudden shouting, having wholly thought yourselves alone up here in the moonlight.

Peter rolled his eyes, yelling back at Russell, “Kid, we have one! And we’d already be back there by now if it wasn’t for your little mafia hunting shenanigans!”

You looked over to see Deadpool and Russell both standing in the doorway to the parking garage stairs.

Wade whistled, leaning back against the doorframe. “Way to take down that Marcia Fletcher a notch! I always found her too uppity to be honest. I think she’s still butt hurt that they didn’t give her the lead anchor spot when Carl Sanderson moved to the early bird morning show. Tanya Meyer on the 5:00 news though, that’s my girl.”

You blinked. “How...how do you know-” It was literally minutes ago, it would have taken them just this long to walk here.

Deadpool lifted up his cell phone. “Facebook live, bitches. Don’t you follow WAFN? The recipes they post from Saturday morning cooking with Pat are always delish.” He looked back down at the phone though, happily reading. “Hah! Peggy Fredrickson from Brewster, New York thinks Marcia’s contouring and drawn on eyebrows are getting worse. Fire your makeup person, Marcia.” He tapped something on the screen. “Like comment! Oh, and Michael Morris from Ridgefield says who wouldn’t do Remy LeBeau. Damn, Michael, all out and proud on main.”

Peter let go of you, taking an annoyed breath. But then looking back to you. “Please let me at least prank Remy, something, anything.”

“But he didn’t do anything.” You replied, though only more stressed now that this was already blowing up on social media.

“Exactly! He should have at least denied it! But no, Mr. cool Cajun can’t admit that you’d actually choose me over him.”

“Hey now, I think you’re looking at this the wrong way, Quickie.” Deadpool interjected. “There’s always the ménage à trois option. I mean he’s French right? And Michael from Ridgefield is just spitting truth. Who wouldn’t want to do Remy LeBeau? He could shuffle my cards anytime.”

“You guys are so fucking weird.” Russell groaned. “Can we go find your damn car now?”

But you didn’t move yet, still looking fully at Peter. “Wade’s just trying to get under your skin. We all know how Remy is. He’d flirt with a piece of cardboard if it suited him. It doesn’t mean anything to him.” You recognized that Gambit was physically attractive of course, you had eyes too after all. But that was the only extent of it. You loved Peter. Not to mention you wouldn’t at all want to get on Rogue’s bad side. She and Gambit were tumultuous enough without someone else being added to the mix.

“This is adorable, really. But I did bring ‘good job team for sending a little girl selling, gentrification funding, pencil dick mob boss to butt fucking federal prison’ cannolis. Want some?” Deadpool offered, lifting up a large takeout box you somehow hadn’t noticed before.

Peter’s shoulders dropped a little, still heavily annoyed though eyeing the box. “So does this mean you’re coming back with us too?”

Wade shrugged, “The kid doesn’t know you guys. What kind of daddy would I be if I didn’t at least go and make sure he actually wanted to stay in your little mutant commune before I ditch him there?”

“You aren’t my damned dad.” Russell said, though almost sounding too tired to argue further at this point. He reached up, taking a cannoli from the box and biting into it as he started to walk back down the stairwell. “What floor is the car on?”

“Just one down from here, you already passed it. Black SUV,” you answered. Colossus and Kitty must not have been here yet if Wade and Russell had made it all the way to the top deck without finding them.

Peter grabbed your hand again, walking with you to the doorway as he grabbed three cannolis out the box begrudgingly with his other hand. He passed one off to you, before biting into the other two in quick succession.

And you only had a moment to see all the thick scarring under Wade’s mask as he lifted it just enough to start eating one himself, before turning to follow you both out and down the stairwell.

———————————

(Concluded in Part 2 here)

[blueprint-han]

a musical encounter.

pairing: music major senior!han x music major junior!reader

genre: university (?? idk) au; fluff.

⇥ warnings: very terribly™ written by a person who has a -8.9 knowledge in music, also the singing parts are not very well described and this may seem incomplete because i’m trying to force teach myself to write short, but oh well 🤧 I wanna write a longer fic based on this in the future hhhhhhhh. me after writing this fic: wow i really clowned myself at “short fic” didn’t I 🤡 also not proofread so be mindful of errors and google autocorrect <//3

word count: 1.7 K 🤡

⇥ disclaimer: this writing does not aim to represent the activities of the real Han Jisung, nor does it represent JYPE in any form. Events are pure fiction. ♡

type: blurb drabble 😭 (why can I never write sh0rt hmph >:( )

network tag: @stayverse @districtninewriters @inkidz + @sunoo-luvs

part of: the url drabble game; requested by @missinghan :’’) (requests for this are closed now!)

!!; song y/n is imagined to sing here is ‘Freedom 90, the Pitch Perfect Version (of course, with pre added acappella). You may find the song here, if you wanna listen to it. hhhhhh this is based on my rusty research about music equipment (which may be wrong) so if this is not what it’s supposed to mean please go easy on me. 😂

↯ note: hhhhh okay so this one has no direct mention or relation to your url but I rather picked it up from your url ~vibes~ (since the only idea that was dropping into my head was making han go missing ufhurg) so I hope you don’t mind ! Hope you like it uwu 💓 Happy reading. <3 Again this will not compare to your writing queen, but I tried. 😔 ⇥ dawn.☀️

“Gosh, this is a music recording, not a date — what’s there to be scared about?” Your friend chided, setting up the mic and the filter as you panicked behind the glass. “You’re a music major! Isn’t this supposed to be what you do?”

“You’re saying that like you aren’t one, and you totally didn’t freak out two days ago, Sana.”

Sana huffed, shaking her head before moving to connect all the wires in place. “Yeah. but…” Her voice came out low when she crouched down to fix all the wires. “The nerves shake off eventually. You’ve nothing to worry. Did you hydrate?”

“I’ve been sipping on this water bottle for the past half an hour!” You sighed, walking inside the booth to stand next to your friend. “And what do you mean ‘shake off’ — you mean that time you ‘accidentally’ broke the headphones when you wear putting them on?” A bite of your lip to stifle your laugh, and Sana’s mouth dropped open in disbelief.

“Wow, you’re gonna-” She slapped your arm after getting up. “-bring that up even though we had an agreement that we’re gonna keep it a secret?”

“Okay, ouch that hurts!” You chortled. “There’s no one here though, I still kept my promise.”

“Yeah right, in a rented schoolroom studio, with cameras everywhere.”

“They still wouldn’t be able to hear me, right?” You pointed out, bursting into a fit of giggles, nervousness be damned when Sana pouted in defeat.

“Fine, now help me set this up. Come onnnnn…” Your friend shook your arm violently to kick you out of your laughter. You shook your head, crouching over again to fix the wires while your friend set up all the equipment outside the booth.

“All set?”

“Yeah…” You took a deep breath fixing your dress up a bit before reaching your hand out, fitting the headphones snug over your ears. Your eyes caught on something black lying on the tables, and you pointed it out.

“Whose headphones are those?” You pointed out, and Sana looked to the direction. “Eh,” she brushed it off. “Probably the person who’d received this room to record before, they’ll take care of it.” You tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, nodding. “Now come on, let’s start. We have to submit this tomorrow and I have a movie date, so it can’t get later than this.”

“Alright,” You chimed, clearing your throat once, twice before inhaling deeply. You were surely nervous before, but somehow singing always helped you disconnect from your surroundings, it was your escape — one of the main reason you’d chosen music technology in a heartbeat when you found out it was an option for your major.

“Ready? And, go.”

Sana hit a button, causing soft music to play through the headphones, a melody she’d carefully crafted over nights of 3 am coffee and many, many texts to you — most of them saying “I wanna sleeeepppppp waaaaa”. You’d obviously heard it before but you realised why it took her so long (nearly a week), because it was near perfection.

“Heaven knows I was just a young boy~”

The song went pretty smoothly on the most part, with Sana stopping you in between verses and and going over parts she wanted you to repeat, which you gladly complied. She was the senior, of course.

When it cam down to the last verse, about half an hour had passed — and you felt pretty good about it. your vocals were shining pretty well and blended with the music perfectly, which put you at ease.

“Okay, let’s finish this.” Sana said, focused on changing up the settings, before giving you a countdown, hitting play. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath as you waited for the beat drop to end, leading to your high note. That again. went pretty well, along with the rest of the song, finishing it up with an exhale.

When you removed the headphones and got out of the booth — you met the eyes of someone you did not expect to see standing there.

“O-Oh, hello Han-ssi.” You bowed down in gratitude, overly surprised of his presence.

Han was, just like Sana, your senior. He was one of the best students in your academy — of course, scoring the highest grade in all of his tests. Many would say otherwise because of his tsundere nature, but you could tell that he had a burning passion for music under those eyes. You’d listened to his tracks in various events your university hosted — and safe to say you were in love with his music. He had a way of making his tracks sound so… real? And natural — the kind that you wouldn’t get bored of no matter how many times you heard it.

Han bowed back and mumbled a silent “hello~” back to you before extending hia hand past you to grab the headphones placed on the table. Ohhh, so that’s why they were familiar. You’d noticed them hanging around his neck multiple times on campus.

Once he’d chatted with Sana and you for a bit (more Sana than you) and bowed before he left, you grabbed Sana’s arm before pulling her towards yourself.

“How long was he here for?” You whispered, a pout on your face.

“Umm, I think throughout the last verse?” Sana shrugged.

“What?” Your shoulders slumped. “Didn’t he come to pick up his headphones?”

“Are you seriously getting flustered right now?” Your friend narrowed her eyes playfully, making a teasing noise as she pushed at your shoulder.

“Ah,” You rolled your eyes. “Stop being so teasing, I’m just a little shy of anyone else hearing my singing.” You flapped your hand to brush her statement away — before she could say something or point it out how evidently flustered you’d grown of the fact that your role model — the Han Jisung — had listened to your music.

“Well, you’re a music major, kid. Get used to it.”

And with that, Sana bid her goodbye to you, helping you wrap up the place before hopping down the stairs, earphones plugged into her ears as she hummed a tune all the way.

You silently stood in front of the elevator, playing with the hem of your sleeves as you waited for it to arrive. Curse at your studios for being on the last floor of the building, waiting for the elevator seemed like an eternity.

You also didn’t notice the random person that stood beside you. it was getting late anyways, the sun was almost close to setting by the time you were done, so it was only obvious that the remaining students would go home.

“So, you sing?” A very familiar sounding voice echoed in your ears, and you flipped your head to the side, once again meeting the eyes of someone you didn’t expect to meet right now.

And of course, if was Han Jisung.

Now that you weren’t freaking out (but you were close to), you could focus on him a little more properly, and you immediately noticed the headphones hanging around his neck, again. He had a large black hoodie on, his hands were shoved into his pockets and his hair was neatly combed and parted. If you had to describe him in three words, it’d be “messy but clean”.

“Oh, h-hello again.” You bowed.

“Hi!” He reciprocated your actions, looking at you. “My question?”

“W-what?” Your eyes widened as you fiddled with the edge of your shirt.

“You sing?”

“I-” You started. “I do, I’ve loved singing since I was six.”

“Oh.” Jisung nodded, letting his words trail of for a second. “You sing really well. I listened to that last part of the song — really well done.”

Tensing up, a smile tugged at your lips. “R-really?”

“Yeah,” Jisung chuckled. “You have a pretty voice, Y/N. And that’s a genuine compliment.”

“O-oh.” You felt yourself grow bashful of his presence all of a sudden, your cheeks feeling hot as the heat spread to your cheeks. “Thank you.” You mumbled, diverting your gaze from your eyes as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “That’s so sweet of you to say.”

“I mean it.” The boy said, frowning. at the sight in front of him — your eyes drifting from place to place and the way you shifted from one foot to other — you seemed to be uncomfortable, but in reality you just didn’t know how to respond. “You okay?”

“A-ah, I am, it’s just.” Moving your hands around, you tried to put your thoughts into words, only to fail miserably, before you sighed and collected yourself. “I just really like your music a lot, and I…” You trailed off, rubbing at your shoulder. “Kinda look up to you, so hearing you say that, it just means a lot to me. Thank you”

The boy standing beside you beamed like sunshine at your response, gently poking at your shoulder as he eyes you mischievously.

“You look up to me, huh?” He giggled when you stumbled over your words, bringing a hand to rake through his hair. “You’re adorable, I’ll tell you that too.”

“Oh my god stop, do you want me to combust?” You laughed, the nervousness laced throughout your statement.

“Okay fine,” Jisung nodded, attaching his headphones to the audio jack of his phone, rummaging through his playlist. “You wanna come to my studio once?”

“What?” Your head snapped in his direction, eyes widening as you took in what he said, excitement filling your veins? Han Jisung’s studio? Seeing him make music in front of your eyes? Is this a fucking dream?

“I mean, only if you want to, of course. I was just asking because you seemed like you’d like to see my music making process. You don’t have to say yes though.”

“Oh gosh, no, I’d love to!” You yelped, stopping him in his tracks. He smiled gently, nodding at you as he scratched his chin in thought.

“So, tomorrow morning is fine?” He looked at you with almost, almost pleading eyes, and you felt like your heart melted into a puddle on the spot. He was cute.

You smiled, shyly nodding as you quickly went through your schedule in your head. “I can work with that.”

“See you tomorrow morning then.” The elevator chimed, the doors sliding open as the both of you got in, giggling at each other.

You couldn’t wait for tomorrow morning, that was for sure.

*silently puts on clown hat and leaves*

↯ note: 🕯️ ignore me this is just a small prayer that tumblr doesn’t make me battle the tags yet again 🕯️ may the tumblr gods be in my favor atleast this once ;-; 🕯️ ⇥ dawn.☀️

[honeybeestitches]

Hi there! So I originally found you through your Good Omens blog and fell in love with the pattern you’ve been posting there—obviously I wouldn’t be ready for a project that big any time soon, but it’s made me want to get into cross stitch myself. Do you have any recommendations for beginners in terms of resources, equipment, etc? Thank you so much and tell Darcy dog she deserves all the scritches!

oh my gosh welcome!! i’m so excited that you’re looking to try stitching!! 

so basically cross stitch is pretty simple stuff. you need fabric, floss (thread), a hoop, a needle, and a pattern. THIS website is a great resource - i have linked to a beginner’s ultimate tutorial but there are lots of tutorials and explanations for various things, like what needle to use, what fabrics are available, and what certain terms mean. i also like the tutorials from HERE - scarletquince makes patterns that are probably more complicated but their tutorials are very good. there are also some good tutorials on youtube (usually posted with a title containing the word flosstube) if you just search how to cross stitch or whatever particular thing you are looking for. 

THIS is the website i use to buy my materials from - they have a good selection of everything although be mindful that right now esp some things are having a hard time coming into stock because of the pandemic. i have also used 123stitch, chartingcreations, and a few others, but everythingcrossstitch is typically my go-to. you can also pick up all the basic materials at any hobby lobby or michael’s type craft store. 

patterns! this is the very fun part. the DMC website (DMC is the top floss manufacturer) has some free patterns that i think are very good, you can view them HERE. you do have to sign up with your email but the patterns are free and some are very very fun.

you can also get patterns on etsy and there are some very good shops at varying levels of quality - stitchrovia, satsumastreet, stitchingland, 2x2stitch are places i see a lot from. my word of caution about etsy is this: if the pattern picture does not look pixelated or is not a irl version of the finished product - that is to say, if you cannot tell what EXACTLY the picture will look like stitched up - then be careful, because while some sellers are making gorgeous patterns, other sellers are just transferring photographs through a sort of pic2pat software and they do not come out looking good. if you’re not sure, look in the comments! are there progress shots from anyone? what does the finished project look like? 

i also think the subreddit for r/crossstitch is very fun to follow, i don’t really participate but i like looking through the patterns everyone has done and it’s fun to see different creators! 

best of luck!! feel free to pop in if you ever have a specific question and i will do my best to help!  can’t wait to see what you create! 

[commanderbengiskywalker]

Pick your 3 favorite clones for #82. And if you add in anxiety or a panic attack, maybe?

@crc-commodore-s9

82. “Just breathe, okay?”

Characters: Fox, Cody and Rex.

Summary: Sometimes it can get a bit much when working at the Senate building. Fox has to deal with a lot of unfriendly politicians, but at least he has his brothers to help.

A/N: I have never written a panic attack or an anxiety attack before, so I tried my best. As well as with bring someone down from a panic or anxiety attack. This was good practice for another thing am working on. I would love the feedback.

It was just another day for Fox. He shuffled slightly from foot to foot as he was with the Ryloth representative, Orn Free Taa, as he was complaining of another mistake with the order. He tried to focus on his words though he couldn’t help but flinch with each move the Twi’Lek’s fist moved, up and down while occasionally slamming down on the desk.

“Are you paying attention, Clone?” Senator belowed, slamming his hand on the desk again.

“Y-yes, Sir.” He replied, trying to steel himself. “I will have it corrected at once.”

“Good...now leave.” Taa dismissed.

Fox tried hard not to run back to his office, as he felt his hear hammer against hid chest and his churn in his stomach. He swallowed thickly as he walked.

“Oi!” Someone shouted from behind him.

He stilled, hands shaking. ‘Oh, Kriff’s sake, can’t he leave me alone?’ He thought, as he slowly glanced over his shoulder.

He relaxed his shoulders when he saw the familiar blue and yellow of his vod. Cody and Rex. They walked towards him, smiling eagerly.

“How are you?” Cody asked, as he slowed his pace.

“Fine.” He said flatly, as he straightens.

The two glance at each other before looking back at him with concern flickering across their faces.

“We were wondering if you wanted to get some caf and catch up.” Rex said, smiling. “It’s been a while and Wolffe’s on a mission, so he can’t come. Sends his hello though.”

“It’s fine,” the red armoured Clone replied, fidging with his blaster in hand. “I was head back to my office anyways. Come on.”

They walked silently back to the office, passing by Senators and other vod on their way. He kept his gaze straight as he ignored the Senators. They stopped at the door to his office as he punched in the code.

“Come in.” He said, as he entered.

The office was covered with datapads and empty mugs of caf. To the right there was a desk and a chair with a computer on top of the desk with a tower of datapads next to it. To the left the couch had a pillow and a blanket folded on top of it. As for the coffee table, it was also scattered with loose datapads and mugs. To the back of the room below a window was a table with a caf machine and a few clean mugs.

‘Have to learn to clean up for visitors.’ He thought, as he set down he blaster next to the desk.

“I’ll get the caf.” Rex said, as he followed in behind him.

“Eh, you too, huh?” Cody said, as he sat on the couch. “You should see my office, covered with loose datapads.”

“I think mine is worse,” the blond chuckled, as he turned the caf machine on, “those vod’ika plus the Jetii are danger prone. They keep cause damage left, right and centre.”

“Yeah, but I have to fill out half of them because you’re exhausted half the time.”

“No you don’t! I do it myself thank you very much.”

“Next time you “decide” to visit the Negotiator, I’ll show you the pile you left me. Or if I see another datapad that wasn’t there before.”

Fox felt his ears ring as his two vods debated with each other on who had the most work to fill out, but it was too much. He felt his stomach twist again, as he proceed to hug himself.

“Maybe I will!” Rex, barked, as he slammed his hand down on the table.

Crash!

The mug fell to the floor, but Fox didn’t register it as he stiffened, heart racing against his chest while awaiting the next move.

“Please…” he whispered, he doubled over, staring blankly at the floor. “Please don’t...please…”

“Fox’ika?” Cody said, as he slowly got up. “Are you alright?”

Fox couldn’t hear him, as the steps became amplified in his ears. He hugged himself tighter., as those footsteps drew closer. White boots reached his peripheral vision, but he just blinked as he he shook more.

Who ever stood in front of him didn’t do anything, but that didn’t stop his heart rate from speeding up or his throat from constricting. ‘Why do they always wait?’ He thought, ‘Why can’t they just get it over with? I am just doing my job...I try my best… I didn’t want to get the order wrong or fail to stop the guy who took the wallet… I was made to fight..’

The thoughts continued to run through his head, as he unknowingly heaved.

“Fox..?” Rex asked, reaching out to grab his shoulder.

“NO!” Fox screamed, as he stumbled back, falling out of his chair. Noticing the colour blue in front of him. ”Please!”

The two stood still watching him, as he hyperventilated. They glanced at each other before Rex moved slowly towards his vod’ika.

“Fox?” He said, gently, keeping his hands in Fox’s peripheral vision. “It’s me, Rex.”

“R-Rex…?” Fox gasped, staring at his hands.

“Yes, it’s me. Can I remove your helmet? I am not going to hurt you. I promise.”

Fox stilled as he tried to take off the helmet himself, but his hands couldn’t stop shaking. ‘What’s the matter with me? I am I defective? Is that why they made me go to Coruscant? Was I not good enough for the battlefield?’ He thought, as he tried to regain control of his hands.

He tried again, but the familiar his hiss of the helmet being removed stopped him. He stared his hands as they shook while another pair rested on top of them.

“Fox?” Rex asked. “I just want to breathe. Can you do that? Just breathe slowly, ok?”

He tried to breathe, but his throat felt tight and his stomach churned every time he took a deep breath.

“I-I can’t…” he chokes out, gasping more, “I feel like... I’m going... to throw up…”

“It’s ok, it’s ok...Did I tell you about the one time that my General decided to make food weapons?”

“N-no…”

“Well, you know how General Skywalker is, always trying to avoid boredom. So one day, he was particularly bored….I mean with no action he was shuffling into the mess.”

“S-so what d-did he d-do?”

“Fives, the ever loving troublemaker he is, asked can rations be a weapon?”

There was silence asides from his breathing, as he tited his head up to look at Rex, who sat cross legged in front of him.

“What?” He asked, breathing decreasing slightly.

“That’s what we all said,” Rex continueed, smiling. “He said it again “can a ration be a weapon?” And Skywalker perked up at the question asking “why?” Fives then went on to explain how they were hard as rocks, like they can break your teeth.”

“Oh my gosh,” Cody groaned, tilting his head back, as he sat on his desk.

“Yep...General Skywalker picked up some ration bars and ran out the mess. The rest followed because they were curious. We caught up with him at the hanger bay throwing rations at General Kenobi.”

“I was so confused when I saw them flying at us. Obi-Wan ended up igniting his Lightsaber because he thought he was under attack.”

“General Skywalker kept asking “does it hurt” repeatedly while chucking them.”

“D-di’kut,” Fox muttered, as he started to slowly relax. “Who the Kriff... wastes perfectly good rations?”

“Oh, I should bring you aboard the Resolute, then you can see him in action. The others weren’t concerned as they were laughing their heads off. General Kenobi glared up at him and lectured him on how not to waste perfectly good rations.”

“Like him better.”

“Oh, you two would get along well. Anyways back to the General, he then got the idea to make weapon out of the rations.”

“I thought he already did that.”

“With glue..?”

Fox groaned as he tilted his head back. “What?”

“He went into his Commander’s office and brought out glue that General Koon gave her.”

Fox quirked an eyebrow at the “glue”. It wasn’t normal to have that on a ship. His shoulder relaxed as he leaned forward. “Why does General Koon have glue?”

“Because by Wolffe, he’s Buir and he likes to make old fashion cards by flimsi. Rex answered, rolling his eyes. “Said that they needed to lean how to craft.”

There was no doubt that the Kel Dor General was odd compared to even the likes of Skywalker. Though like most Jedi Generals had a knack for running blindly in or sacrificing themselves, General Koon also had a habit of doing stuff the vod. Such as getting food outside of ration bars or making gifts for them over time. Wolffe liked to complain for his recklessness, but he cared about him a lot and was skeptical of his gifts.

“Anyways, my di’kut Jetii was making a sword out of ration bars,” the blond continued, dragging Fox’s attention to him. “Worse of all my ARCs were helping. They managed to make two stable ones and he gave one to Commander Tano saying they were “sparring”. General Kenobi didn’t believe them, but Skywalker said it was “science”.”

They laughed a little, as Fox felt his hands relax. He liked hearing odd adventures that his ori’vods had as it was more intriguing than any of the complaints from the Senators or business men at the building.

“Obi-Wan got involved with testing the experiment,” Cody said, smiling like he always did when talking of General Kenobi. “He took Commander Tano’s ration blade and proceeded to wack General Skywalker with it as a response to throwning bars at him. All while saying “does it hurt?”

“He deserves it!” Fox laughed, as he doubled over.

“You ok, vod’ika?” Rex asked, as he hesitated on grabbing his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah I am…”

He felt much more relaxed after the story with his heart rate back at normal pace and no longer feeling nauseous.

He sighed and sat up smiling. “Thanks, Ori’vod.”

“No problem,” smiled Rex, “it can get a bit much sometimes. We all get it, Fox.”

“Come on, let’s get you some tea.”

“What about the caf?”

“No, tea is better. More “soothing” is what Obi-Wan says.”

“Alright then.”

The trio got up and walked out of the office, as Fox finally felt a little lighter that day.

__________________________________________

A/N: I hope you enjoyed. I try my best and feedback is always welcome to help me improve. Especially since I never done panic or anxiety attacks before. Have a nice say/evening.

:D

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[aion-rsa]

What We Do in the Shadows Season 3: Harvey Guillén Wants Buffy to Train Guillermo

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This article contains spoilers for What We Do in the Shadows season 3 episode 3.

Things have changed for the Staten Island vampires on What We Do in the Shadows season 3 as they step into positions of power. This may not make much of a difference for Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch), whose new job as secretary of the Vampiric Council, is much like his fake job, at a cubicle in an office. But Laszlo (Matt Berry) may spend a little more in the potting shed. His love Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), is running the council, along with Nandor (Kayvan Novak), who’s familiar, Guillermo (Harvey Guillén), has been promoted to the position of bodyguard. It was easier than killing him.

Based on the 2014 feature film by Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi, What We Do in the Shadows follows four vampires, who have been roommates for longer than anyone cares to remember, as they cope with life in the modern world. Which is not held up on the shoulders of four horses.

Nandor the Relentless was a fierce and terrible Ottoman warrior, known for pillaging villages and turning the Euphrates red with blood. Guillermo worked at Panera Bread. The bond that ties vampire to familiar is a strange one. The pay isn’t great, the hours are daunting, and they don’t get employee-of-the-month plaques. The only real incentive is the promise of everlasting life as a ravenous bloodsucking fiend, and there is something of a hiring freeze at the moment.

British Iranian actor and voice artist Kayvan Novak co-created and starred in the British prank show, Fonejacker, and also can be seen alongside Matt Damon and George Clooney in Syriana, as well as the films Cuban Fury and the Walt Disney live action remake of Cruella. He plays three different characters in Men in Black: International. Harvey Guillén acted in the movies The Internship and in Netflix’s Truth or Dare, and his TV works include The Magicians, and Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. He earned a GLAAD Media Award his role in the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Me What to Do” episode of Raising Hope, and made LGBTQ+ Latinx history by becoming the first queer Latinx actor to be nominated for Best Supporting Actor at the Critics’ Choice Award for his role as Guillermo de la Cruz. Starting Sept. 2, Guillén will also host After the Shadows, a new talk show following and discussing What We Do in the Shadows.

Novak and Guillén hovered over Den of Geek to speak about Nandor and Guillermo’s new job descriptions, as well as old habits, cloaks of many voices, and Van Helsing DNA.

Den of Geek: I wanted to congratulate you on your characters’ new duties. Is it more fun running vampires or running from them?

Kayvan Novak: Has Nandor run from a vampire? I guess I have. I think they’re equally as exhilarating and frightening.

Harvey Guillén: I would say fighting the vampires is exciting with all the combat when that opportunity comes up. Yeah.

Guillermo took out the entire local vampire command, but couldn’t stake a vampire council docent. Is Guillermo getting soft?

Guillén: I don’t think he’s getting soft. I think the only reason that he even put himself in that scenario is because he knew that his old housemates, because remember he moved out of the house, his old housemates were in danger. I think at the end of the day we forget that he had mostly only humans in the house. And you know, what separates us from everything else in the world is that humans are driven by emotion and have a conscience and have a heart. So he couldn’t live with himself, if he knew that they were set up by the Vampiric Council to be eliminated at this theater. That’s the only reason he goes and saves his chosen family. Even though they’re total assholes to him, he is still loyal at the end of the day. He’s still loyal to these four vampires, especially Nandor. I think that he’s not getting soft. He’s just starting to see what’s important to him and what’s worth fighting for.

Did the “Cloak of Duplication” episode come up because you were already doing the impressions?

Novak: I guess the writers had an idea. They had a sense that I was a bit of a mimic and I liked doing impersonations. And I think they decided to kind of craft an episode around that. I was slightly apprehensive of the number of impressions that they thought I could do considering I had to do all of my castmates who, although I could do impressions of some of them, I’d never done it to their faces. So it was a new challenge. Not only to learn very quickly how to impersonate them with their help, because they helped me along the way, and they told me how to deliver some of the lines. But then having to do that in front of them, it took some concentration.

Whose voice was the easiest?

Novak: I guess the easiest, or the one that I had done was Colin Robinson. Because he’s got a very specific [voice]. It’s kind of the closest to mine in a way. And the rhythms of it, very specific. Nadja’s voice and Kristen [Schaal]’s voice, I couldn’t actually do. I can only kind of do their physicality. So, the voices you hear are not my voice. They’re the voices of the actual actors. Guillermo’s voice, Guillermo’s delivery, that took a minute to kind of get into that groove. And then Matt Berry, Laszlo’s character, I’d never really tried an impression of him. And it was really more the physicality that I got into to deliver those lines in that rhythm, that really was the key in. Because you’re always trying to find the key in.

Harvey, what was it like hearing Guillermo come out of Novak’s throat?

Guillén: It was great. Because I’ve seen Kayvan do impersonations of everyone, he’s a master. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do me in a full scene. Like he would make a good joke or mimic me and say, “Yeah, yeah, now my friend,” and he does like a caricature of my voice, which is always fun, but yeah, “you’re my best buddy,” that’s like an ongoing joke on set that he always does. But to really kind of do it and kind of really capture Guillermo’s inflections and the volume where he placed him. I was like, oh my gosh, this is great. I was in awe. Like I was like, this is great. I had to do a double take, like that’s not me. That’s wait. That’s not me. Okay.

Blade, Buffy, the Frog brothers, and now Guillermo. Guillermo is the descendant of the greatest Slayer of all slayers. Is this nepotism?

Guillén: I don’t know if it’s nepotism because I don’t think he’s gotten anything handed to him. And he’s worked really hard for everything he has, and even now being the descendant of Van Helsing, it’s still not easy. Now, it comes with another wagon full of problems and choices to be made and predicaments that he now has with his housemates. But I would love to see some of those legendary slayers and chosen ones make an appearance and guide him, maybe help him out. Maybe Buffy pops in and says, I’ll show you how it’s done. That’d be great. Or Blade comes back, Wesley Snipes comes back. We’ve already had him. Who knows? But yeah, I would love to see someone show him the ropes or take them under their wing or, he’s learning by trial and error. And I think so far he’s doing okay. So maybe he’s a self-made Slayer in his own way.

When Nandor and Nadja were introducing themselves to the rogue vampires, you are each soloing, but hitting the beats at the same time. Can you just walk me through the rehearsal of the timing?

Novak: I think to really nail a scene like that, we’re both kind of focused on the direction of, I think Yana Gorskaya directed that scene. And that was just a case of us kind of working together, but also allowing her to kind of pull us through the scene to make sure that we hit those marks perfectly. It took some practice, took a few takes, took rehearsal, but you always know you’re going to get it. And you know that if you’ve got to get something that’s a bit of a challenge to get to, you want to be in the right company. And, and thankfully, we are because we’re in each other’s company.

Harvey, when you interject objections and you break and you look at the camera, they’re like hi-hat taps, are these scripted or are you doing it strictly on an intuitive basis?

Guillén: No, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it scripted for Guillermo that he looks at the camera. I think we do, as we do a rehearsal and we have our DP and our director follow us through rehearsal and whatever feels organic in the moment, there has to be an organic beat. Right? So, if it’s, most of the time it is Guillermo, because he’s the only human in the room, aside from the camera crew. And so, when he looks at the camera crew, it’s like, oh God, you’re going to film this, aren’t you? And the camera catches that moment. And it zooms into it. It’s like, you’re not, oh no, it’s incriminating. And so, as you connect with another human. Did you hear what he said? Or did you, I can’t believe they’re talking like this because who are you going to connect with the vampires who live in their own world of lust and pleasure and feeding. They don’t care, they’re immortal, but the humans in the room are like, we can go to jail at any moment for a lot of these things. I can get in trouble myself.

So, most of the time, when Guillermo looks at the camera, it’s either out of fear or it’s either like I’m smarter than them and you see that, right? So it’s like you saw that, right? But he can never say it. So he can’t verbally say what he’s feeling. So, their face does it all for you to the camera.

Did Guillermo and Nandor meet at Panera Bread?

Guillén: We talked about this. I think the idea that, if he was working at Panera Bread, it must have been shortly after high school or something. And somewhere along the lines, he must’ve met Nandor, he must’ve come in when Panera was closing and maybe tried to feast on him? Maybe, I don’t know. The backstory I gave myself was, he convinced Nandor not to feast on him and kill him, but to service him in return to become a vampire. That’s the backstory I gave myself. But Kayvan, what do you think?

Novak: I think whatever happened there’s CCTV footage of it-

Guillén: Somewhere. Yeah.

Novak: And I think that would be the best way of revisiting that because, if they didn’t have a documentary crew following them, then they’re relying on kind of just, incidental cameras, capturing stuff. I think it would be cool.

Guillén: I think that’s cool. Yeah.

Nandor is 758 years old, and going through an eternal life crisis. Is he becoming too Americanized or does Nadja have a point about there not being anything more to existence than just slaughter?

Novak: It’s a funny one because he’s been around so long, you’re supposed to eventually just blend into your environment and be taken over by and become an American or become a Staten Islander. And for some reason they live in such an insular world that they resisted this. But now for some reason, whether it be an emotional light that’s gone off in his head, he’s decided that no, he wants to humanize himself more and, yeah, be more like the people that he kills, almost. The world that he feeds off. He wants to be part of that. And I think, Nadja, she’s the cynic she’s like, stop dreaming. Stop. You know, there’s always that person that’s like, yeah, you could do that. But there’s lots of people that want to do that too, you know? And you’re like, oh, you’re right. I better not waste my time chasing pipe dreams. There’s always that person in the room and that person, for Nandor, is Nadja.

What’s it like to act against Nadja’s doll?

Guillén: Such a diva. Yeah. Difficult. Late to set. She always has to be carried. I don’t know if it’s in her rider, but the doll has to be carried by two, like men-

Novak: Dressed in green.

Guillén: Dressed in green. Yeah.

Novak: I actually did have to do a couple of scenes where there’s a montage sequence with me and the doll and we actually got onto some really funny stuff. I was teaching her sword fighting, a bit of a spoiler, but it’s very quick. I don’t know if it made it in but I was teaching her sword fighting and then I was like, well, we might as well have a sword fight. And then she disarms me and then she chases after me and I run. But I don’t know if that made it in the cut. I just decided that would have been a funny thing to do. To be disarmed by this doll. I think Nandor has a soft spot for the doll. Obviously, it’s a cool bit of special effects that’s for sure. It’s awesome.

What will you be getting Colin Robinson for his hundredth birthday?

Novak: A new contract. You know, his management team has been slacking.

I was talking with Mark Proksch about the physical comedy and Harvey, yours is particularly perilous. What’s the choreography prep like and making those fight scenes hit their funny marks?

Guillén: Well, I think physical comedy is just as good as you know, anything we do, so I mean, a lot of us do physical comedy in the show, but you never see Guillermo really in motion to do physical comedy most of the time it’s because he’s always so put together. So even with the combat and fighting, the note that Jermaine gave me for the finale was, Harvey doesn’t know he’s been at this. All right. So he doesn’t know what’s happening. So it was more of an idea that his face is like “what’s happening?,” But his hands were coordinated and bad-ass, and that’s the way I’ve been playing him. And now that he’s coming into his own, now he’s more relaxed into his own power of Van Helsing. But it’s also funny. It’s just funny to see someone who’s like a baby duck, like learning to walk for the first time. It’s like he’s trying. And you know, so that physical comedy comes in hand.

Kayvan, can you tell me what it was like working against Aida Turturro and learning to love after, after 37 wives?

Novak: Aida was a riot, from day one. She was a fan of the show, which is always wonderful and incredibly flattering. She was so into the show, she was so into the world and into us as performers. And I think that just, she had so much fun when she was there and we had some intimate scenes. The first time you see us, she’s on her back and I’m on top of her. And that’s quite an introduction. But she just went with it, you know? And it was just a lot of fun, a lot of fun with her and yeah, we just spoke to her today actually, and she was singing the show’s praises again. And she’s genuinely so excited. She’s not keeping her cool or trying not to be a fangirl about it. She was just super enthusiastic to be there. And you feed off that. You love that.

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What We Do in the Shadows airs Thursdays at 10:00 p.m. on FX.

The post What We Do in the Shadows Season 3: Harvey Guillén Wants Buffy to Train Guillermo appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[jetaime-jespere]

G, L, R for the fanfiction asks! ❤️ Your writing!!

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? 

Oh gosh. 🙃 So. I do not write anything sequentially within a chapter. I also have things written for WSNE that haven’t happened yet, but we just haven’t gotten to in the storyline. One of the very first things I wrote for the story at all was the trip to Paris in chapter 7, and the Allison/Aaron/Emily in chapter 4. I start with the scenes I know are a definite - usually the ones centered around what absolutely has to be included, and I fill in the gaps along the way. With WSNE, I would normally write the “big” parts of each chapter (or sometimes the smut first, if I’m being honest...ha) and go from there. I’ll also start with the quotes/lines that come to me and base things off of those. In chapter 40, one of the first things I wrote was the convo between Aaron/Dave in Vegas, for some reason. I have things bolded and highlighted depending on what I need to do (edit, add more, revise completely). I sent my ch 40 draft to another author the other day to tell me it wasn’t a total flop (in one of my many moments of doubt) and had to send a whole paragraph explaining the method to my madness. 

L: How many times do you usually revise your before posting?

I’m laughing at this one, because I was just thinking about it earlier today. Not nearly as much as I should. Normally by the time I post it, I'm so damn tired of reading it I just want to get it posted. I would say I revise as I go - I’m constantly rereading it as I’m working on it, so things do get changed fairly often. I usually do one read through as it’s in a google doc and then once I put it in ao3, I read through as I’m reformatting (because I still haven’t figured out how to not have the huge spaces between paragraphs, so I delete those by hand each time.😭 When chapters are close to 30 pages, it can take forever. I should be better with revision. Spelling and grammar are a personal thing of mine (I'm a teacher, lol) so I should really practice what I preach. 

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

There are many I am inspired by, and I WISH they were on Tumblr so I could tag them to tell them this. DeeJayMil has some incredible stuff out there (Small Things is a must if you ship Hotchniss) and I wish I could do things the way they do them because they are sublime. No one does angst & darkEmily like AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell, and I remember finding her on ao3 in early summer and being unable to put my phone down for hours afterward. She is a master at her craft and I cannot say enough good things about her stories. TangledUpLies is also amazing (on ff).

Thank you for the ask ♥️, and for the compliment. You are so kind to say that!

[albatris]

Hey hello I sent in an anon about starting tarot a while ago (I do not know when I know it was post quarantine starting but...time is wild) and i was wondering if you answered it? This isn't at all me trying to pressure you please please don't read it that way, i totally get it if you didn't! I just know that tumblr's search function is very broke and I'm scared I missed your answer, which would be sad. (I hope this doesn't sound like a bother it's genuinely all good if not I'm just checking!)

YES oh my gosh holy shit hello hi yes hi anon my dear I did in fact completely fucking forget to actually answer your original ask I am so sorry lmao

thank you for reminding me ajhdfgjhsdfg and again I’m so sorry it took me forever anyway I’m gonna just uhhhh look up your original ask real quick

OKAY so resources and starting decks! there are lots and lots of people who know more than me so I feel a little unqualified to answer this but I can tell you my thoughts?? but I definitely recommend looking into what other folks have to say on starting out, I’m sure there are lots of different opinions and ideas! :D

also sorry, it’s me you’re asking, so you’re not gonna get nice neat dot points and I’m not great at being concise, I’m just going to ramble if that’s ok, very sorry, very sorry

under the cut rambles

so........................

for learning meanings........ it’s a lot of work, there’s a lot of detail and a lot of different things to think about during readings, I’ve been learning tarot for around seven years on and off and I still don’t remember everything! 

so IMO it’s best not to come at tarot with the intent to Learn Everything before you start! it’s the perfect thing to learn as you go! my advice would be to just kinda throw yourself in. when you first get a deck, go through the cards and vibe with them some and look at their meanings, but mostly just kinda contemplate them, don’t try to memorise everything at once. start doing readings, look stuff up as you go............. I would recommend keeping a journal where you document your readings............ which will help you with memory and picking up on patterns and connections....... uhhhh

I really like using apps as a companion as well!  they can be a super good resource even if you don’t want to use them FOR readings necessarily

I use Galaxy Tarot as a convenient way to look up meanings and summaries of the cards when I just need to kinda jog my memory (though the descriptions aren’t super detailed), and it has a function where you can either do a reading with the app or you can do a reading yourself and then plug the cards you’ve drawn into the app, and it can help you with pointing out recurring themes and symbols and connections between the cards, which can be handy when you’re first starting out and maybe feel a little overwhelmed by the Amount Of Information you’re trying to take in

uhhhh another one I’ve used in the past is Labyrinthos Tarot, which is an app to help you learn and memorise the cards and their meanings., from what I can remember there are sorta, games and exercises to help with it, I forget exactly how it works since it’s been a while since I used it! but maybe that’s a good one to check out too?

I feel like apps is something i should’ve mentioned at the end but anyway moving on to the rest of it

most decks will come with a guidebook of some sort! so you’ve got the traditional rider waite tarot deck (which is probably the default deck most people think of when they think of tarot), and there are plenty of resources online such as Biddy Tarot which can give you a fairly detailed rundown of the card meanings! these meanings can be applied to variations of the rider waite cards, but lots of decks are a little wild and a little funky and are off doing their own thing while still following the basic rider waite structure, and if you receive a guidebook with a deck, that’s definitely an invaluable resource!! ‘cause it’ll give you the artist’s kinda interpretation and their meanings, their own personal touch, even if you then look up the card in more detail online

ALSO tarot is just a whole fuckin tonne about intuition as well though! so as much as it can feel like something where you need to focus on all the details and try and keep them all rigid and by-the-book, you might do a reading and feel yourself drawn in a certain different direction or just get a “feeling”, so you should definitely be open and flexible and listen to what your gut tells you as far as meanings go! plus, you will develop your own relationship to the cards and maybe draw your own personal meanings and associations! that’s definitely not something to fight against and don’t worry about whether that means you’re doing it “wrong” - you should listen to those feelings, those r important!! :D

lastly I will say, it can be helpful to have someone who is more experienced with tarot around who you feel you can ask for advice from or get second opinions from if there’s something you’re confused about! or who can give you tips and tricks from firsthand experience. like, it doesn’t have to be something you learn alone, and having a teacher or companion can be really helpful in terms of bouncing ideas and getting new perspectives! I throw this out there because I always forget to say things like this, ‘cause I forget that other people Are Not Me and other people like being around people lmao rip

and as far as starting decks go........... it really depends so much on what you want and what’s important to you! some people will say start with the traditional rider waite tarot, and if you decide to do that, you will certainly have a lot of resources at your disposal! it’s a valid place to start for sure

but there’s also SO many different decks out there with all sorts of themes and art and personality, and IMO......... I’d kinda urge you in the direction of choosing something you’re personally interested in and engaged with! it can make connecting with a deck easier and can help you stay interested and engaged during learning! but that’s just me

when I got my first deck the lady in the store kinda just took me to the collection of decks and just asked me which ones I vibed with and which one kinda called out to me or one I was drawn to, then she let me take a look at some of them and she showed me how to handle them and use them!! this was my first experience, n I was told just to go with what Feels Good And Right

n there’s so much cool art out there! and many interesting themes! you might not know which one you’ll latch onto until you see it, so take some time to look around and see what speaks to you c:

for instance, certain themes like cats or flowers, certain art styles, maybe certain series you’re into (I have two welcome to night vale decks n the raven’s prophecy by maggie stiefvater), or queer friendly decks! I have the Numinous Tarot which I ADORE, which is a deck with gorgeous artwork and extremely queer, all gender neutral language and lots of diverse designs, etc

so it depends what you’re into! take some time to feel it out, my friend

I would also like to throw out a mention to oracle decks as well! I actually started with oracle decks long before I used any tarot decks c: 

I am................... very tired. and blanking on the best way to explain the difference between oracle and tarot decks, but you can look into this if you’re interested! lots of people use both or use them in conjunction with each other and there’s benefits to both n so on and so forth........

but in terms of Starting Out, and getting comfy with doing readings? they can also be really helpful in this regard! I found since oracle decks can have any number of cards and are less “structured” than tarot decks in a way, it can be really helpful as a way to get comfortable with things if you find, just, the Amount Of Detail that is involved in tarot decks overwhelming!!

it was something that helped me get the ~feel~ of doing readings and sensing with the cards and vibin and such, n get some practice drawing connections between cards and deriving meanings from the stories the cards present! but in a way that’s not quite as...... overwhelming?? as traditional tarot decks?? I was SUPER intimidated by just how extensive tarot decks were when I first started and I thought I’d never figure out what I was doing HAHAHA

but again, it’s just practice, I think!

where tarot will follow the same 78 cards and structure and is very traditional and I guess “rigid” is not exactly the right word?? but yeah?? oracle decks are a lot more flexible in what they represent and a lot more loose in the structures they can take

I do love oracle decks because of how varied they are!! each one is its own little system and its own unique universe and it’s really quite lovely, even if you aren’t into Actually Doing Readings with them, y’know?

but then, I find tarot decks the same way, what will all the different art styles and different people’s interpretations and renditions of the same story, like, it’s really fascinating!! 

this has just turned into me rambling about how cool they are now

point is, do a little research into what sorts of decks and themes you might like to buy, when you get a chance I thoroughly recommend visiting a store so you can speak to someone who has some experience with tarot decks, they can help guide you when it comes to picking one and giving you some tips!! remember that it’s about intuition and following your gut as much as it is about memory and precision, so you should pick a deck that Feels Right

and uhhhhhhhhhhh

just kinda throw yourself in!! that’s literally my best advice!! you’re never gonna memorise everything beforehand (I’ve been learning on and off for seven years and I still often have to consult guidebooks and webpages) but you WILL absolutely learn as you go

it might feel very clumsy starting out, but as with any craft, you will improve with practice and begin to feel more comfy and confident with it as you go!

I hope this helped out some!! maybe!! possibly!!!!! ok goodnight!!!

[himbowelsh]

Your writing is amazing! Could you please add David Webster to the valentines head canon list? 💝

valentines day alphabet  ( accepting! )

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

He leaves notes around the house. Sweet things, like ‘I’ll be thinking of you all day’ or ‘I wanted so badly to kiss you this morning’  ---  or even something simple as ‘Left you a smoothie in the fridge, love you’.  It’s a silly thing, and a few have gotten crumpled or swept into the trash before his partner noticed, but it’s just a way for them to know he’s thinking of them. He’s not very physically affectionate, and while he can (and has) professed his love a thousand different ways, words just don’t feel like enough. Notes are tangible, something to hold on to and tuck away to look over on a rainy day.

B   :   BOUQUET.   does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

Please, his family’s had a personal florist for ages. He might not know how to pick out flowers himself  ---  the best he can do is identify them, but he doesn’t know how to take care of them, or which flowers look good together   ---   but he can order up a gorgeous bouquet for any occasion.

C   :   CHOCOLATE.   does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

He doesn’t mind it. Milk chocolate only, please, and in small quantities, otherwise it makes him queasy. To be honest, he doesn’t trust himself with boxes of chocolate, so tries to avoid them.

D   :   DATE.   what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

Let’s go out sailing! Oh gosh, if a person hasn’t seen David sailing, they haven’t truly seen him. He’s in his element on the water. Never is his grin broader, his eyes brighter, his shirt looser...  he loves being out on the waves so much. Being out there with someone he loves sounds like heaven. God, he would love to show his partner the ropes  ---  literally  ---  to introduce them to his boat and teach them how to sail. If they handle themselves well on the waves, he’ll definitely fall a little in love.

E   :   EMBRACE.   does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Depends who the hug is comping from. Web can be picky. Sometimes Hoobler just grabs him and he stays there like a spike in the ground until he’s done  ---  David much prefers seeking out the hug first, at least initiating it. His hugs are gentle, not too intrusive, clearly meant to share comfort rather than offer anything. He’s fond of rubbing someone’s shoulders.

F   :   FLIRT.   is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

David is well-spoken, handsome, and can be profoundly charming at the right moments. He’s probably better at flirting after a glass of champagne, but can usually handle himself. Of course, he’s not always great at reading the room, so some occasional blunders can’t be helped.

G   :   GIFT.   is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

It’s definitely a struggle, but David wants to get it right  ---  and he puts a lot of effort into it. While he’s not above just asking, to know point-blank what they want, then he has to get the best version of that thing possible. He’ll search for hours to find exactly the right gift...  and even if he ended up getting a hair straightener instead of curling iron, or a the wrong brand of toy, all that heart still shines through.

H   :   HEART.   is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

David is...  that really weird type of impulsive where he thinks everything through, until he doesn’t. Those impulsive moments are his greatest successes or greatest failures. He doesn’t mean to fall in love quickly, but the moment he realizes he’s in, he’s all in. His heart isn’t easily dissuaded.

I    :   I LOVE YOU.   does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

Words are easy; these three particular words, not so much. He’s really got to fight his way to a place where he feels confident in saying them...  and even then, they’d stall on his tongue, because he’s really not sure his partner will say them back. No matter how fiercely he loves them, there’s always that little shred of uncertainty...  and to get past it, Web probably ends up blurting “I love you” at an unexpected time. It’s not how he planned on doing it at all, not half as romantic as it should be...  but once that wall’s been bulldozed through, and his partner says it back, suddenly it’s easy to say all the time.

J   :   JEALOUSY.   does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

Quite. He just...  doesn’t like seeing other people encroaching on the person he loves, and if he has to make that displeasure known, he will. David’s style is subtle and public. He’ll lace hands or pull his partner closer during a night out, occasionally pressing a kiss to their cheek  ---   just close enough to their neck to give a thrill, reminding them that they’re his, and he’s right here. He’s not really vocal about it, but his jealousy sends a message.

K   :   KISS.   is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

David is… an inquisitive kisser. He likes to test his partner’s limits, exploring their mouth like a born scientist. He charts the groves of their lips with his own, memorized their taste, sucks gently just to gauge their reaction… and the more encouragement they give him, the more adventurous he’s willing to get. Needs to have his partner close, right against him while they’re kissing. If they get too into it, he’ll start grinding unconsciously; god forbid it gets pointed out, cause he’ll turn five shades of red at once.

L   :   LOVE.   who does your muse love?

Sharks, sharks, sharks sharks sharks  ---  EVERYBODY!    (No, okay, he’s the sort of pretentious to say “my first love will always be my craft” while glowering at a novel draft he hasn’t touched in three months, but...  he really does love his family, no matter how often he bickers with them. Web’s the sort of person who absolutely cherishes his friends, and takes them very deep into his heart. He loves whatever he’s passionate about, be they people, things, or ideas.)

M   :   MOONLIGHT.   is morning or night a more romantic setting?

He loves early morning; it’s the epitome of serene tranquility, the point of existence all humans should aspire to. The sun breaking over the horizon illuminates a person’s truest self. Too bad he’s a horrible morning person who resents dragging himself out of bed any time before 9am. If people are their truest selves at dawn, Webster’s a feral rat who just won a fight for the last pizza crust on the subway.

N   :   NAUGHTY.   what is your muse like in bed?

There’s a lot of hip action; David grinds without meaning to, rolling and writhing on instinct alone. It serves him well when he actually puts it to use, hands locked around his partner’s waist as they roll like a ship on high seas. No matter what, David needs to be holding his partner, anchoring himself — it lets him feel in-control, even in a situation where he’s utterly out of it. A very expressive lover — his facial expressions are obscene, holding nothing back — and a furiously intense kisser. During the act, he loves to be working at his partner’s neck, pressing deep kisses into the flesh there… because meeting their eyes overwhelms him too easily. Good luck getting him to keep quiet. He gasps and moans, sometimes going to the effort to muffle himself against the back of his own hand, but usually not bothering. At his peak, his entire body arches, muscles going tense, and he can never restrain a moan as he slowly comes down.

O   :   ODE.   does your muse have a way with words?

Absolutely  ---  though he thinks he’s a lot better at love poetry than he actually is. It’s a work in progress. David is an eloquent and spellbinding speaker, especially when his words come straight from the heart. He’s excellent at expressing what he feels.

P   :   PARTNER.   what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

He’s drawn to very vibrant people  ---  people who seem to light up a room when they walk in, people with a slight current of energy to them. Like any artist, David craves inspiration...  so he seeks out people who can provide him with it. Maybe someone who enjoys reading, who can carry on intellectual discussions with him  ---  but also someone who can debate and challenge him when he’s too set in his own ideas. Someone with an adventurous spirit. Someone who can play nicely around his parents, and looks great in formal wear. Caring about the environment is a must. Someone who...  will take an interest in the things he’s passionate about, but also has their own passions which they care about deeply.

Q   :   QUESTION.   would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

The problem with David is that...  he thinks. Too much. Overthinker extraordinaire. He wants to consider all the possible alternatives before making a big life decision, which often leads to him not making that decision at all. Pretty much every big leap he takes is on impulse, and he handles the fallout later. He’s never expect his partner too, but, frankly, would be better off it they did. When he does drop the question, it’ll probably be impulsively, with some grand poetic declaration, and possibly a ring improvised with whatever’s onhand. He’s got a rich family, they’ll get a nice diamond later.

R   :   ROMANCE.   is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

He’s got a romantic soul, even if acknowledging it makes him feel like a fool. He knows better, after all. The world is not a kind place to those who leave their hearts open, inviting happiness like sweet deliverance when pain so often disguises itself as pleasure...  but he likes the idea of love. It would be nice. He wants to fall in love, he wants to be in love, and he wants to finally understand what so many writers are obsessed with. He wants the sort of love you fill books with.

S   :   SWEETHEART.   did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

If you subscribe to the “kids only bully other kids because they like them” line of thinking...  sure. Lil’ David had  t o n s  of admirers.

T   :   TRUE LOVE.   does your muse believe in true love?

I reiterate: “He wants the sort of love you fill books with.” Maybe it doesn’t exist anywhere outside of fiction, and in the minds of some...  very questionable historical lovers  (Bonnie and Clyde, F Scott and Zelda, Percy and Mary Shelley)  but he’s open to being proven wrong.

U   :   UNREQUITED.   has your muse had their heart broken?

Everyday, by the unrelenting oppression of human cruelty. And the fact that sharks are nonironically viewed as monsters by the general public. And the fact that people don’t see knowledge as the bright light illuminating the path to the future? Or the fact that people don’t realize that if you don’t remember your history you’re doomed to repeat it? Or the fact that some people genuinely like pineapple on pizza  ----     He’s a sensitive boy.

V   :   VALENTINE.   how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

It’s a capitalist scheme to sell a frightening amount of chocolate boxes and prey on the vulnerabilities of single people. He’s against it on principle. Couples can have romantic dates any day of the year, what’s so special about this one?  (Still, get him roses, he’ll be thrilled.)

W  :   WEDDING.   would your muse get married? why / why not?

He...  goes back and forth. It’s what his parents really want for him, which is almost enough reason for him to never want to...  but he’s got a sense of obligation, too, so maybe. But what if it’s a mistake? What if he doesn’t truly love the person? What if he thinks he loves them, but one day wakes up and realizes it was all an illusion? What if they fall out of love with him? What if ---

He wants to, deep down. Once he finds the right partner, all those anxieties will fade away. It’s really just the not knowing what to expect that worries him.

X   :   XOXO.   does your muse use / like pet names?

He’s not excessive about them   ----   “darling”  and  “sweetheart”  being his biggest offenses   ---   but also isn’t above literary allusions.  “You’re the Hermia to my Lysander” / “The Isolde to my Tristan” / “The Zelda to my F. Scott”, at which point he’s earned any eyerolls he gets.

Y   :   YOURS.   does your muse get protective easily?

Definitely. How willing he is to fight over it is directly proportional to how much alcohol is in his system, or how egregious the offense is   ---   some things will send him feral, alcohol or not. Like insulting his partner outright, or grabbing at them? Web doesn’t stand for that. While he’ll usually try to diffuse a situation just by taking his partner and ducking out, or maybe trying to talk it through, if he sees shit like that, he’ll snap. There’s a lot more fight in him than one would assume at first glance.

Z   :   ZZZ.   how many people has your muse slept with?

Well, he’s had a few girlfriends back in college, but nothing obscene. David really keeps to himself. He’s had maybe… two or three partners beforehand, so it’s not like he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he doesn’t really know… all the ins-and-outs yet. (Make of that what you will.)

[antigenius]

Aaaaah your skincare hc 💜 i'm dealing with some really bad acne rn and reading that was amazing. Can you write skincare hcs for 1a girls too? (And also the best girl hatsume mei if it's not too much) 💖

OMIGOD FIRST REQUEST BSDJJRJTJ YOU GOT IT BBY LETS GO-

Toru:

I got her hcs while I was in the shower coincidentally enough.

Okay surprisingly for someone who you can't see, she really REALLY cares about her looks. It's really sad but she's actually super insecure despite being invisible

Loves any sort of face mask that has animals or cute things on it!! Cute, cute, cute!! She especially loves those little fruit shaped masks that you slap on different parts of your face like hgsvgbd please-

Actually has really oily skin, which is purely the cause of her insecurities. Someone please compliment this girl on her skin for gosh sakes-

Uses foam and oil cleansers to gently try and control her acne. Then uses a really light daycream with included sun protection when it's both day and night. She uses it at night because she gets scared that her night cream will be too much for her face. Better to go lighter.

OH MY GOD SHE LOVES HOT SPRINGS. P L E A S E. She enjoyed the camp so much because it made her pores open up and made it easier to clean!!

Uses those peel off pore masks on her nose, chin and upper lip. Hurts her sometimes, you can usually see her cry a bit when she takes them off.

Uses tweezers to clean up her eyebrows and upper lip. Hurts a lot, but she manages. Puts aloe vera after.

Detoxing is important! Sometimes she goes on a vegan diet for a week so that her acne gets a bit better. Only drinks water during that time too!

UGH GET THIS GIRL SOME PINK GRAPEFRUIT BODY SCRUB AND SHE'LL LITERALLY LOVE YOU FOREVER JUST OMG G R A P E F R U I T

In general she enjoys smelling like things you can eat! Mainly fruits, so Toru generally smells like berries or citrus.

Uses a stick deodorant that's organic. Hates the feeling of clinical deodorants.

Ajdjsjjjf acne needles? Yes. She uses them. Doesn't wanna get acne scars and this is more hygienic than actually popping pimples with your fingers. She really takes great care when it comes to her skin.

Ochaco:

Ochaco is literally me when I spent all my money on food :')

Cheap as hell. Obviously. This means CHEAP BEAUTY HACKS!

Ochaco has normal skin thankfully enough, but she does get some bad days with acne. Happens.

Cheap means you make your own stuff. Instead of buying exfoliating scrubs, Ochaco makes her own by buying oatmeal, apples, raw honey, cinnamon, and lemon juice. She puts this all in a food processor, letting it become a thick paste. Before she puts it on her face, she puts in a bit of sugar and tada!!! Smooth, soft, baby skin!

Another thing she makes is cucumber and banana ice-cubes for her dark eyebags. She grabs some cucumber, mushes it half a banana and then puts them into an ice-tray. Then whenever she has dark eyebags, she busts out these bad boys and voìla!

Is a hoe for 5 minute-crafts stuff. They're usually cheap and work for her really well, so now she heccing worships it like a g O d.

Doesn't really understand makeup? She might only use some eyeshadow and eyeliner. Possibly chapstick if she has some.

Makes her own lipscrubs though! Sugar and honey make a beautiful scrub for her lips, she rubs and licks it off happily to reveal velvet, plush lips ready for kissing! ;)

Really good at making cute diy beauty stuff!! She once made this clear lip balm that had a dry flower inside. She actually sold some! She was so proud of herself.

Oh gosh if you give Ochaco expensive Burberry Her perfume that smells sweet and sugary she will cry because she is so grateful for that. It's her FAVOURITE smell. Otherwise, she smells like faint roses.

Uses spray deodorant on hot days and stick deodorant on cold days. Spray deodorant is such a perk up when she's been sweating from training.

If there's a sale on skincare products, you'd best believe Ochaco sits there in the morning in front of the shop to get all the best stuff first. She will actually kill someone if that try and take the last item on the shelf which is on sale, especially if it's like 50% off. She'd tear some limbs. O_o

Prefers liquid soap over soap bars, but buys soap bars more often because they're cheaper and easier to stock. Just please get her some moderately priced things god this girl NEEDS PAMPERING OKAY???

Momo:

Bro you know how gay I am for this girl like dude I LOVE HER OKAY???

Completely and utterly clueless when it comes to skincare.

Never gets acne??? Like ever??? I'm so jealous it's SO UNFAIR. Does get dry skin though.

Uses those 24 carat gold face masks because they look pretty and make her face freakin GLOW LIKE A GODDESS.

Uses peel off masks, but more for dead skin. Hurts much less and she just heccing emits rays of sunlight.

Uses sunscreen a lot though. She's really prone to getting sunburnt, and she can't get a tan, which makes her kinda sad. Cancer is too scary to get a tan over.

Likes body and hand creams too much for her own good. Has a whole collection of them which all have a variety of smells and textures so her body and hands and just her skin is normally soft and silky and just hafdjskrjkt-

Has to use coffee scrubs and body oil since she has stretch marks from developing super fast. She's really insecure about it and hates that part of herself a lot tbh. Please praise her I beg you.

Loves to sit in a hot bath with rose petals. Spa treatment is all he knows about skincare really.

Has like four perfumes she normally uses. One is a sweet smelling perfume that has soft sugary notes that make you drool. The second smells like delicate roses with dewdrops from the morning mist. The second smells like berries and forests, as if you're about to pick some yourself. The last one smells like the pandan leaves with mangoes. Basically, Momo smells like paradise.

Actually loves buying cheap lip-glosses and lipsticks!! Her favourite is this shimmery golden lipgloss which changes colour depending on the light that she's in. Only uses it on very special occasions though. Otherwise, her best one is usually a moderately red lipstick or a cute red tinted lipgloss which just slightly colours her lips. Makes her lips so adorably kissable. (I'm gay for her okay shut up-)

Okay, we all know for a fact Momo be thicc. But she doesn't really like it honestly. Her thicc comes from cellulite and it's so gross to her. Uses a stiff, dry brush to move the fat around a by so she's more evened out in thiccness.

Mina:

Pink alien queen!

Acid comes out of her skin daily, this means really dry skin. Dry like sometimes peel off dry. It's really bad.

Just like Toru, really cares about skincare. Although a little less than Toru but still.

Toners are her best friends because her pores sometimes open up due to her quirk. Acid can damage them sometimes too, so mild, hydrating toners are great for skin like her's.

HAND CREAM AAAAAAAAAAA

Whilst she isn't rich enough to have a bunch of handcream like Momo, she has this specific handcream that smells like candy and marshmallows. It's. So. Good. Also makes her hands soft and silky like gahdhhd-

Cream is also a good friend of hers. Uses both night and day cream to make sure her skin stays plump and hydrated!

Uses potato slices instead of cucumbers so that her dark eyebags aren't too bad. She normally doesn't get em so this rarely happens.

Also uses lots of vanilla and almond body cream. Soft and silky skin that can make anyone want to hug her. (IM SO GAY SHUT UP)

Uses lip masks! Loves those Korean or Japanese candy ones! They really leave her lips luscious for any kisses!

Speaking about Korean and Japanese stuff, SHE ADORES THEM.

Korean stuff the most! They always provide her with great results, so they're her go to when she has a really dry day. Loves using their hydration masks!

Uses lip tattoos because she hates the feeling of lipgloss or lipstick. Plus, it doesn't leave a mark.

Mina also thicc, but she's more of a muscular thicc than fat thicc. This means she needs to use body oil to make sure her thighs and skin are tight and smooth.

She uses lasers to get rid of her hairs. Somehow her hairs are immune to her acid. She uses laser treatment to make sure she doesn't have to deal with it often. You wouldn't even know she has hair tbh because of the treatment.

Mina smells like coconuts and sea-salt with a hint of lime or mint depending on her mood. She smells like what'd you smell in a 5 star island resort as you walk on the white sandy beaches and sit in the bar watching the sunset go down on the horizon just hhh-

Feet are baby smooth?? Dunno why. They're just naturally soft and beautiful and shfhd when she rubs her feet against your legs it's so soft it's like she rubbed petals on your legs-

Speaking about petals! She loves having baths with either bubbles or petals with some candles to calm down. Definitely after a hard day of training!! Don't disturb!

Tsu:

I CAN'T DO MUCH FOR TSU IM SORRY

Tsu literally doesn't use skin items at all.

She has a normal skin type and also never gets acne somehow???? Like bro hecc tell me your ways.

She's not clueless about it like Momo, but she just has no use for it since her skin's just kinda perfect like hello what-

She is a frog though, so she really need that moisture!! Jacuzzi baths are like her favourite thing.

Ooh, also really likes those clay masks! That's the only skincare item she actually uses to be real with y'all.

Okay okay hear me out though, Tsu is a hoe for those kiddie slime baths. Like I'm not even kidding she loves it so hecking much but she would never admit it in any lifetime.

Also really loves it if you get her a whole big bag of those resin pellets that turn into those little jelly balls and she just goes into a bath of those??? Gosh yes paradise hecc

Smells like a dewy forest with hints of citrus and earthy tones. She's got that scent that's really unique and like you can walk by with a blindfold and point her out by smell alone.

Oops by the way she really enjoys having cucumbers on her eyes. She has natural eyebags, so she normally counters it with both cucumber and potato slices.

There's a secret tradition that runs in her family to get rid of wrinkles. They steam a small, knobbly hand towel with warm water and then rub it in circular motions on their face slowly going upwards. Works really heccing well.

Honestly, Tsu doesn't really care about her looks. Skincare or makeup for her is just an additional bother that she has to deal with.

Her skin is never pruney. Makes sense why though.

Mei:

Eyy because you asked so nicely! Tbh to me Camie from Shiketsu is best girl but like okay Mei is qt-

She's always covered in grime and dirt, so she actually gets acne daily. She just has really great skin routines!

Has a combination skin type, her forehead is the oiliest compared with the rest of her far though. Yuck.

When she stops tinkering (haha when does she do that-), she immediately goes and washes her face with an oil face wash. It helps properly cleanse her pores from all the grime and dirt that was on her face.

Sometimes, she has a really grimy day, so she uses a harsh clay wash just to make sure EVERYTHING IS OUT. Then uses a hydrating toner and a very light daycream!

Exfoliates every two weeks to make sure her skin isn't gross. Skin cells need to turn over every two weeks, so she makes sure she does that or she'll literally have pimples scattered on her forehead.

Is a popper. She hates seeing pimples and immediately pops them on site with some gloves. Then puts a miniscule dab of antiseptic cream so that it don't come back and spread.

Mei smells like petrol. Literally. When she stays out of the lab for a week though, she actually smells like caramel and cotton candy.

Has calluses on her from tinkering so much. She doesn't like it. Please trace and caress them gently and she'll love you.

She uses body oil because it feels more normal than body cream. Can lead her to being clumsy because she sometimes sloshes it on her body and then she has to wait a while before she can actually do things.

Salt block. Hates deodorant. Masks the smell of grime in the lab and she LIVES for that smell.

Uses charcoal face masks to relax and detox. Helps her think of her next baby to create as well, so bonus!

Likes going to those floating pods. They're really relaxing and make her feel at ease in the world.

Bubble baths are a no no. She had a really bad experience with them once when she tried to make a bubble telescope and put it to her eye. Let's just say she used to be able to see farther…

She enjoys using lipgloss though! Her lips smell like cake or cookie dough even though they're normally coloured in a neutral pink or a soft red. Even tastes like strawberries and cream.

Takes hecking great care of her hands. Her hands are meticulously the most gorgeous part of her. They're soft, velvety, and while they are callused, it only adds to its perfections and they're just so stunningly manicured and she does it all by herself like oh my god her hands are just bdbdkfgjfk-

Since anon has some bad acne, I actually have some advice since I myself care a heck ton about my skin.

Oil based face wash goes incredibly well with a foam cleanser. Using both gets rid of all the dirt, oil, makeup and residue in your pores. Best stuff and keeps me clear.

EXFOLIATE PLEASE!! Get one of those cute exfoliating scrubs or literally make the one Ochaco uses. They're really important to do because your dead skin cells can cause more acne and bumps.

When you have bad acne, I suggest using only light daycreams after you wash your face because night creams can be too much. Also use a nice organic toner so that your pores are tight and can't get much dirt or gross things during the day/night.

Charcoal is the best face mask for detoxing and decreasing oil levels. But don't use it when you have pimples. It can actually cause more pimples to come because you're stripping your ace of the natural oils it needs.

That said, make sure to wash your face at least twice a day! Thrice is okay too, but four is too much. Make sure to moisturise immediately after too!

Sunscreen is so important. Get yourself a face cream that has at least an SPF of 30. Please. Cancer is real and the sun's rays can make you seem to age faster.

Woof, that was a loooot. Next time, please be specific with characters anon! I didn't mind, but I normally only do about 3 characters. I'm not doing much yet so this is cool but yeah. Thank you so much for requesting though and ACKEJKRKN YOU'RE A CUTIE ILY THANK YOU FOR LOVING MY WORK!!

I also realised I missed out Jiro T_T I might edit her in later but really I found her and Tsu the hardest to talk about skincare with because they're my really girls who care about how they look. They're just cuties.

[tothedarkdarkseas]

For fanfic writer ask meme: E, J, K, M, P(for any fic or all your fics), R, T, X, and Y. (If that's too many questions, then you can split the answer into multiple posts. Also, no need to answer if you already answered these questions before.)

Thank you so much! I’ll put these below a cut just to account for the length, and I pray Tumblr works like it’s supposed to this evening! I appreciate you having an interest!

E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

I really do not identify with Gorillaz characters and thank god for it, or most characters I tend to prefer! Haha, I know that might sound a bit strange, but I can think of very few characters I’d call “my favorite” that I also felt were a reflection of myself in a major way. Of course that isn’t implying that representation isn’t important, but just speaking for my own personal relationship to media– I live with myself all the time, I like people who live very different lives! Having said that, of the characters I write (all two, possibly three of ‘em) I’d say I identify with some of Stu’s worst qualities over anything else: being unambitious but craving reward, self-centered yet lacking in a concrete sense of self, dumb about mostly everything, overcompensating (to be fair, this is Murdoc as well) and so on. Despite picking fun at him I definitely have an affection for an unlikable guy like Stu, I do have sympathy for being sorta pathetic because I feel like I can access that.

J:  What’s your favorite fanfic trope?  Have you written it?

Hmm! That’s hard to say! At the risk of being an absolute knob, I don’t tend to be a fan of tropes, or at least what I think is meant here by “fanfic tropes” like uhh… the heat goes out and we have to share a bed, or that kind of thing? Is that what this means, the sort of repeated setups for fics? There’s of course a place for everything so I’ve got no real beef with more innocuous stuff, but I wouldn’t say I ever pick to read something because it’s got a “classic” trope. I’m definitely rife with tropes in the broader sense though, I’m rife with things I like and clearly just repeat, haha. I do not smoke pot, but I have a real affinity for characters who do, and this is evidenced by having like… half my stories feature that, haha. If a scene where two characters creep up to being intimate via sharing a joint/bowl/bong counts, that’s definitely a trope I’ve done and would probably do again.

K:  Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)?

Does the above count? I’d certainly call myself self-indulgent, haha, I like what I like and I don’t stray very far from it. I think unsatisfying or incompatible intimacy is really interesting and I honestly never get tired of reading or writing that. (Er, as much as I “don’t get tired” of writing anything, which is not saying much as I’m very bad and undisciplined.)

M: What’s the weirdest AU scenario you’ve ever come up with?  Did it turn into a story?

The only AU I’ve written is Coffin Dancer, which is a story set in the early 1900s about Murdoc being a reanimated corpse and Stu being a gravedigger who buries/exhumes him. Sexy, I know, nothing hotter than… long paragraphs about digging. I think the occult element makes that one a bit weirder than anything else I’ve come up with. I’ve kind of entertained other AU ideas but they tend to be a lot more mundane, to be frank I just really like the characters as they are and I don’t want to change their dynamic too much. As a joke I once suggested something about a riverboat casino (Stu working there, Murdoc trying to pull a money laundering scam via currency exchange, potentially convincing Stu to go in on the scam with him) and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still think about it sometimes and question how to make it work, haha. I think it might be fun to do an AU again, but I think there’s just too much of a gap between what I’d want to do or be capable of doing, and what people actually want to read.

P:  Where did you find the most inspiration for your story ?

Oh gosh, this makes it sound so important and I feel like the biggest jag going to pretend I’ve made anything that great or with particularly impressive roots, haha. A couple came from prompts, so that’s a fairly straightforward answer.

I first began planning Coffin Dancer because I was playing Graveyard Keeper on Steam at the time, haha. If you load up this game, you’ll quickly see there is next to no plot and it is simply a crafting sim. I just sorta… liked the setting, I guess? It is the 1900s and it does follow a graveyard keeper! Following that, I decided it would be a story about Murdoc’s skin turning from tan to green as it does in canon, but giving it a bit of a morbid tint, as opposed to the vague canon handwaves of Murdoc being “immortal” with no clear explanation of what that means.

Ampersands was mostly inspired by me being a big Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan and thinking it’d be fun to show a dynamic similar to Angelus/Drusilla/Spike, but heavily reworked to fit our characters. The first scene I imagined was the shoelace-tying one which has some resemblance to a shot of Angelus knelt at Spike’s feet while still mocking him, and that ended up being the very last scene I wrote (and probably one of the weaker ones.)

On Oysters and Black Water was actually the story that required the least research from me, as I already had an interest in oyster filtration and oyster reef restoration. By no means am I an expert nor is this story a genuinely educated look at this process (I am Genuinely Educated on zero things) but I definitely knew when planning a PB story that I wanted oysters to be used for a filtration system on the island, just as a little nod to something I find neat!

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

This really puts me at risk of sounding knobbish, so to start with: I’m not really a writer. Fanfiction writer is already not the most impressive title, but even that I feel is a little generous for me. I’ve written things, but I struggle far too much and have too little dedication to pretend it’s something I feel “cut from the same cloth” as these folks to do. The writers I admire have “influenced” me in the sense that I’ve wished I could write that way, and I’ve probably/definitely ripped them off.

Some will find this laughable, but I’m a fan of Joey Comeau’s writing style. I’ve enjoyed every book he’s published, in particular the short novels Malagash and Lockpick Pornography, and especially his… err, non-novel collection of cover letters Overqualified. (I think I’ve read Overqualified more than anything else on my bookshelf, but this is saying very very little as you can sit down and read it in about 30 minutes.) The darkly comedic way he presents these ideas, how he’ll expand on these very offbeat details and veer so far from the topic, then take sudden sharp turns into something uncomfortable is just enjoyable to me.

Also somewhat cliched now, but Peter S. Beagle’s The Last Unicorn is a beautiful book to me. Beagle’s writing style is ideal for the fantasy setting, the poetry in his prose does not tip over the “purple” line for me (but I’ve always been unclear where the line is, obviously) and I’d really… feel like I’d accomplished something if I could say anything half as powerful as this book.

Shirley Jackson, (famously) the author of The Lottery and (less famously) We Have Always Lived in the Castle springs to mind as well. The latter in particular has a gothic tone, an at times strange sentence structure and an unreliable POV, which probably influenced Coffin Dancer stylistically and everything else I’ve done in perspective/structure.

But as far as influences, nothing more directly influenced me than @elapsed-spiral‘s writing and characterization. Old drum I’ve beat before, but it’s simply the truth. I would not have tried to write fanfiction again (after… many, many years) if I hadn’t found Danni’s stories and felt that excitement of reading something truly special. Now, it’s important to note that Danni is British so they’ll come out in hives if I praise them too much, but sincerely nothing in recent years has made me feel a “passion” for reading or writing like Yearz did. The oneshots Fairy Vale and Beside the Sea also deserve special mention for just being goddamn phenomenally good character studies. “Influence on your writing” could be misleading, in the sense that Danni’s biggest strengths (namely Being Funny, Being Realistic and Knowing What You Are Talking About) are among my biggest weaknesses, and I don’t feel that stylistically we’re all that similar; on the flipside though, I think so much of my “improvement” is really owed to Danni, aaaand I don’t think you’d ever look at something I’ve written and miss the fact that it’s ripping off Yearz in one way or another.

T: Any fanfic tropes you can’t stand?

Ahaha, alright, this jogs my memory and I do remember stepping on eggshells to answer this before! I mentioned above that I’m just not a big fan of tropes in general, but that means nothing as I don’t… have good taste. I never have. Famously bad taste over here. I don’t have any interest in raining on anyone’s fun or policing fan content, but I think we’re all perfectly fine just co-existing without feeling obligated to anything. More than anything else, in Gorillaz specifically I’d say there are some portrayals of their relationship that I find a little dodgy and I tend to avoid, but I recognize full well that many people may feel the same way about me! I also just like the characters to be compelling and to be themselves, whatever your version of them is. Of course my characterization is bonkers and mostly made-up and I have no expectation that someone else’s should resemble mine, but even if we have different ideas, I don’t like to feel you can slot them out and anyone else in? Which is why standard tropes like “coffeeshop” or “fake dating” don’t tend to be my favorite. Oh, I’m also a fuddy-duddy and I don’t love the nicknames, haha.

X: How would you categorize your fanfic reading?  Are you a voracious reader?  Do you carefully pick and choose?  Something in between?

I’m not a very big reader these days! I’d like to offer you a good excuse here, but I’m just picky, truth be told.

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories?  Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?  

In total honesty, it takes all of about a month to become completely unsatisfied with anything I’ve written. That’s not like, a plea for sympathy, it’s just being objective. I write comparatively little and comparatively slow, so whatever growth that may happen is still pretty limited and it’s a little disheartening, even if it’s also my own fault for having poor discipline. I would not call any of my stories “good,” at best “good for what they are.” There are definitely some I wished did better, I wished with a stupid amount of sincerity would hit some magical validating number that would Suddenly Mean It Was Good… but after a little distance, I can always understand why they wouldn’t.

Hoooowever, some are undeniably worse than others. Based on both hits and kudos, my most popular story is my first one (I Couldn’t Feel, So I Would Touch) and this is truly baffling as it’s garbage. I mean, with no exaggeration I just think this is bad writing through and through, it’s truly just the worst thing I’ve written over the age of 20. I hoped I’d get this question purely because of this, haha, I feel such shame every time I see this story at the top of my statistics page. If we consider that to be the “most popular,” no, I do not tend to be most satisfied with the most popular story. We could define that differently though; for example, I think the story that got the most notes here and I received spectacular fanart on (a thing I just… can’t believe can happen, how nice is that?) was Oysters, and at a time I did consider that my favorite, I was incredibly proud of it when I posted, and even if I’ve grown exhausted by my overwriting too much to read it again I do still rate it pretty favorably compared to the others. So it depends on what constitutes popular! But if we’re just talking hits and kudos, sadly my stats page puts some of the worst stuff at the top.

[justkimberley]

Painted In Our Hearts

Final Part of my gift for @you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus

Ao3: x

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Chapter 4 - Sparkling In The Party Lights

           A few months had passed since Buffy got her soul mark, and Andi was starting to feel a little left out. Now Cyrus had TJ and Buffy had Jonah and Andi, well… Andi had no one. She knew that she wouldn’t meet her soulmate until she was older, after all her meeting age was fifteen, but it still kind of sucked being the only one in the group without a soulmate.

           It had been so long since she got her soul mark that they were almost at Jonah’s birthday again. But, before Jonah’s birthday was TJ’s birthday. TJ had actually become very close with their group over the past few months (because of how much time he spent with Cyrus), and they all got along pretty well. TJ and Buffy were competitive with each other, TJ and Jonah talked about music a lot, and well… TJ and Cyrus talked about everything together. TJ and Andi were also pretty close, it turned out that TJ liked crafting almost as much as Andi did. He said something about how he and his sister used to craft a lot when they were younger, but they didn’t really have time anymore, and crafting with Andi reminded him of those days.

           Although TJ spent most of his time with the group, he was still a pretty popular kid, so there was no question that his birthday party was going to be kind of big. Andi had known that going in, and her family knew that too, but still, walking up to the Kippen house with Buffy, Jonah, and Cyrus, music blasting and teens hanging out in every area was a little overwhelming. Cyrus was the first one to the door, he knocked and then let himself in, the others following closely behind him. The moment that Cyrus entered, Andi heard TJ’s voice rise above the other noise.

           “Cyrus! You guys! You’re finally here!” TJ yelled running to the door from where he had been in the kitchen. Andi spied some delicious looking snacks in there from the front door that she would definitely be checking out later.

           “Happy Birthday TJ!” Cyrus said, pulling TJ into a hug and then kissing him on the cheek. Andi smiled to herself as she watched TJ’s cheeks heat up. TJ and Cyrus were so cute together.

           “Yeah, happy birthday man!” Jonah said, stepping forward and clapping TJ on the back, “This party looks huge, where are your parents?”

           “They’re in the backyard,” TJ said shrugging, before he moved out of Cyrus grasp so he could do his handshake with Buffy.

           “Happy birthday, Basketball Boy,” Buffy said, completing their intricate handshake.

           “Happy Birthday TJ!” Andi said, stepping forward to give TJ a quick hug.

           “Thanks guys, I’m so happy you could all come. It means a lot to me,” he said, smiling at the group and then returning to his spot beside Cyrus, wrapping his arm around Cyrus’ shoulders (those two really couldn’t keep their hands to themselves), “Well, the backyard has pop-pong, there’s movies playing in the basement, the kitchens got snacks, the upstairs is off limits, there’s a photo-booth-esc thing that my sister helped me set up where you can make your own props in the living room… oh and there’s a fire in the fire pit in the backyard,” TJ said grinning at everyone, “Go forth and party!” he said before pulling Cyrus with him to make his rounds around the party again.

           Buffy and Jonah looked at each other excitedly and headed straight to the backyard, probably to decimate whoever was unlucky enough to play pop-pong with them, and Andi was left alone, once again. She sighed to herself before heading to the kitchen to grab some of those snacks she had seen earlier. There were lots of people she knew from school here, so it wouldn’t be that hard to find someone to hang out with, but part of her was still thinking about how disappointed she was that she didn’t have her soulmate to hang out with like the rest of her friends.

           Andi was hanging out in the kitchen, drinking pop and munching on popcorn twists, talking to Gus about frisbee when suddenly she was bumped from behind.

           “Oops, sorry. I can’t really see where I’m going with all this stuff,” a voice said from behind a box full of crafting supplies.

           “It’s okay, I didn’t even spill anything,” Andi replied slowly. That voice was the most beautiful thing she had ever heard, but she couldn’t see the person who it belonged to. Andi felt warm and tingly all of a sudden.

           “Oh, well, that’s good then! I’m just going to go put these in the living room, TJ was saying that the supplies were looking a little low for the photobooth,” she said before continuing her walk through the kitchen to the living room. Andi only caught a glimpse of her as she walked away, but she had beautiful long blonde hair. Andi shook her head and went back to her conversation with Gus.

           Later in the night, Andi was getting tired of being around all of the people, so she headed to the living room to see if she could make something out of the craft supplies there. Maybe it would calm her down. Maybe it would get rid of the weird feeling that she had had ever since that girl bumped into her in the kitchen. Andi sat down on the couch and started sifting through the supplies. Oh yeah, she could definitely make something out of this stuff. She quickly pulled out some materials and started making a bracelet. She wasn’t really sure who it was for, maybe for herself, maybe she could add it to TJ’s birthday present, maybe for Bex, but it didn’t really matter, she’d figure it out later.

           Andi was about halfway done when someone sat down beside her on the couch, “Hey, cool bracelet, can you show me how you’re doing that?” Andi whipped her head to the side to look at the person who just sat down, she had the same voice as the girl who had bumped into her earlier. Andi looked at the girl’s face. She had beautiful long blonde hair, her eyes were a beautiful blue-gray colour, and it looked like everything about her was sparkling in the party lighting. Andi thought that she had never seen anyone that beautiful before.

           Andi closed her mouth and blinked, shaking herself out of whatever trance she had just been in, “Umm, sure! I’m Andi by the way,” Andi said, leaning forward to grab more materials from the box.

           “Oh! You’re Andi! That makes so much sense, TJ’s told me so much about you! I’m Amber, TJ’s sister,” Amber said. Andi suddenly felt the tingling feeling double, traveling all over her body, “Are you okay?” Amber asked, placing her hand on Andi’s knee. Suddenly the feeling was all concentrated where Amber was touching her and then it travelled up to her left shoulder. Amber took her palm off of Andi’s knee and looked at it before looking at Andi, her eyes widening in recognition.

           “No way!” Andi exclaimed smiling.

           “Oh my gosh! Come with me! I’ve got a tank top you can borrow so that we can see if what we think is true is true,” Amber said, grabbing Andi’s hand and pulling her upstairs.

           When they entered Amber’s room, Andi briefly had time to register that it was very pink before Amber shoved a tank top in Andi’s hand and pushed her into the bathroom. Andi quickly changed into the tank top and then looked at her shoulder in the mirror. They were right, clear as day, written on Andi’s shoulder was the name Amber in loopy cursive.

           Andi ran out of the bathroom and knocked on Amber’s door, “Can I come in?”

           Amber threw open the door and pulled her in, turning Andi around as soon as she entered, “Oh my gosh,” Amber said, in awe. Andi jumped slightly when she felt Amber’s finger trace over her name, “I thought that I would never find you,” she said quietly.

           Andi turned around and looked at Amber’s stunned face, “I was starting to think that I would have to wait forever to find you too,” she said, smiling and pulling Amber into a hug, “Can I see yours now?” Andi asked.

           Amber smiled, nodding as she pulled away before turning around and showing her back to Andi. Andi gasped as she took in the colourful swirls that covered Amber’s shoulder, reaching out her hand to trace over the shapes. The first thing she noticed was the Andi Shack, it looked like it was painted on to Amber’s shoulder in watercolour. Then she saw the friendship bracelet that she, Buffy, Cyrus, and Jonah all had with each other. Then she saw the pansexual flag and the number XIII for thirteen. And finally, she saw her name, Andi, written in her messy, angled handwriting. She traced over the name, feeling tears come to her eyes before turning Amber around and pulling her into another tight hug. Amber hugged Andi back almost as fiercely, burying her face in Andi’s neck and bringing her hand up to pet Andi’s hair.

           “We found each other,” Amber said quietly.

           “And we’ll never be lost again,” Andi said, Amber nodded in agreeance before pulling Andi closer to her.

           “We should probably head back down to the party,” Amber said after a while, pulling back slightly from the hug to look at Andi.

           Andi smiled at her, “I guess…” she sighed out jokingly, “I can’t wait to tell everyone!”

           “Me neither! Okay, let’s go flaunt our happiness!” Amber said, grabbing Andi’s hand and pulling Andi out of her room and down the stairs.

           “Oh, Amber, there you are, I’ve been looking for you,” TJ said, walking towards them, arm still around Cyrus, “Wait, why are you and Andi holding hands?” he asked, looking down at their hands. Cyrus also looked down at their hands before looking at their faces (where matching grins no doubt resided) before his jaw dropped.

           “No way!” Cyrus exclaimed.

           “Yes way!” Andi replied, smiling wide.

           “What’s going on?” TJ asked, confused.

           “Andi and I are soulmates,” Amber said, smiling and holding up their hands.

           A grin broke out on TJ’s face and he ran forward, engulfing his older sister in a hug, “I’m so happy for you! Oh my gosh, this is going to be so great!” he said excitedly.

           “What’s going to be so great?” Buffy asked entering from the back door, Jonah trailing behind her.

           “I found my soulmate!” Andi said excitedly, holding up Amber’s hand.

           “Oh my gosh!” Buffy yelled, running forward to hug Andi, “You finally found her! TJ’s right this is going to be great,”

           Jonah walked towards the group and smiled at them, “I’m so happy for you Andi!”

           Andi looked at her friends around her, and then looked at Amber, “I’m happy for me too,” she said contentedly. “Now, is it cake time yet?”

           TJ perked up, “Oh right! That’s why I was looking for you, it’s cake and present time, let’s go!” he said, grabbing Cyrus’ hand and pulling Cyrus with him as he ran to the backyard, the rest of the group following closely behind. Amber and Andi followed last, still holding hands. Andi couldn’t help but think that, if it was up to her, she and Amber would never not hold hands ever again.

Note: Happy Pride to everyone! Theo, I hope you enjoyed your gift!

Thank you once again to @swingsetboys for arranging this whole gift exchange!

[soulfireinc]

B? D! (for Devil's Hell/Inferno) F! Oh gosh, K for sure. Q *hint, hint* and, of course, S and T.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

In terms of plot and action, not really no, my life doesn’t really include assassins and multi-species war but I do draw on personal emotional experience to ground character development and presence in reality. For example, descriptions of pain come from my experience since I had a chronic illness (ME) for 5 years and have had a migraine since September, so paying attention to the feel of such things makes for a more original and evocative expression, I think/hope.

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with Devil’s Hell/Inferno?

I write to this amazing mix of scores and I’ve noted in Inferno that several Shawn Colvin songs give me Matt/Jess feels. I also think this amazing Eskies song is a great metaphor for the presence and pull of violence in Matt’s life too. Plus Iain, the singer, looks like Elden Henson, which is cool.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

THAT IS HARD TO ANSWER MY GOODNESS but here’s one that stuck out to me:

“My dear people,” she called out, her voice as warm and welcoming as an evening fire. “I thank you for meeting with me. We have much to discuss and the sun will not delay its setting, even for a queen.” A very forced chuckle rippled through the crowd. “You have come here in fear and anger, and rightly so. The rumours running like rats through Shanvalya are as poisonous to our city’s health. I pray, hear me, and my words shall be your antidote. But, my good friends,” she added, tightening her expression in what those beyond the great fountain would interpret as a smile, “I do not expect you to listen to me over a growling stomach. We shall talk over dinner, as lords and ladies do.”

So this is the second chapter from the antagonist’s perspective, Axia, the Archer Queen. She’s addressing 500 poor, scared people in the capital city of the oldest human realm, from whence the looming war is stretching. Axia never smiles but pretends to in this scene. Her thoughts show her contempt for the people – she sees kids climbing on statues to see and remembers when she had to do that too, when she was a malnourished orphan with guttercough desperate to know the life of the lords and ladies. Axia’s one of my favourite characters ‘cause she is the hero of another story and it’s only in this that she’s a villain, years after she became queen. This marks the start of a speech that was really hard to write: it introduces the reader to the foundations of the war, the enmity between two races, shows that Axia is clearly up to some shady shenanigans but also that she truly believes in what she’s doing and that her logic makes sense (but is missing a few crucial steps). She ingratiates herself to the crowd so well and manipulates them effortlessly – despite having just had a panic attack before coming on stage ‘cause she’s afraid of public speaking and has severe dyslexia and couldn’t read her speech. There’s lots going on and even more that has to come across very organically and economically in this speech so crafting it took some doing. I based her rhetoric in this scene off Trump and Hitler and so far everyone who read it commented some variation of “she needs to die now please” so I’m very pleased with it so far!

ALSO

"My family is worth the legacy that will outlive us," she said, her voice cold and steady. "Yours will be forgotten once your son is dead."

Which the protagonist, Nyra, says to the one man she trusted above all others as he bleeds to death having tried to kill her and professing that his son is going to kill her father. It’s just such a queenly, killer line and it’s a flicker of the confidence and surety Nyra grows to have.

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Oof. Well about 0.02 seconds after thinking up a character who’s dream is to be in the elite royal guard I decided when and how he was gonna have his right arm (yep, his warrior’s arm) amputated sooo that’s pretty angsty. Also all the stuff that happens to Matt in IGH is, y’know, a lot. Plus I have a fic-in-waiting where Matt gets beaten almost to death by fisk and then strung up on a crucifix, soooo. Yeah. I’m a whump goblin.

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

Never done one (college assignments and short films excluded) but I’m really intrigued by how two writers would work together and would definitely be up for it in the future.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Does blood count? Whump? Angst of almost any kind?

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

Shipping actors together, especially at cons and such to their faces.

Thanks bae :*"Melkin will show you, girl," Riggs whispered, strength draining from his voice. "He'll show you what a real r-ruler is. He-he'll show you – w-what you and y-your – f-family is worth." Nyra knelt beside Fallira, embracing the brittle calm consuming her. "My family is worth the legacy that will outlive us," she said, her voice cold and steady. "Yours will be forgotten once your son is dead."