#enough projecting please for my sanity | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jiniretracha · 2 months ago

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ꕤ 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 '𝟐𝟒 - 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟎 ꕤ

Sim Jake x fem!reader: masturbation

summary: Movie night gets interrupted when you decided to get a little too comfortable with your roommate...

warnings: smut, jake being a horny little shit, masturbation, y/n being a lil straightforward (?)

word count: 1.7k

kinktober masterlist // masterlist // ko-fi

You had hit the jackpot when you found a friend like Jake. You two had met in college, when the history professor had paired you up for a research project. It was in an instant that you two discovered the amount of things in common that you both had. It was crazy. You bonded through your love for dogs, music and movies.

You had even met his friends and they loved you. They found you fun and such a great influence for Jake.

Soon enough, you were moving in together as roommates, when he had told you that his past roommate, Sunghoon, one of his best friends, moved in with his girlfriend and he was in need to split bills.

Movie nights were something that had grown and developed as a tradition between you two. It was two times a week, friday and sunday. On fridays, Jake was the one who could pick the movie and on sundays, it was your turn.

It was a sunday, meaning you had the privilege of having control of what you two were going to watch.

“No, please. Not Mean Girls again” Jake huffed as you hovered over one of your favourite movies.

“Oh, come on!” you whined.

Jake rolled his eyes. “We literally watched it last week! Pick another one, please. For my sanity. I’ve memorized it at this point” he chuckled.

“Okay, fine…” you sighed. “Mamma Mia?”

“Not a musical fan, to be honest” Jake shrugged.

“Okay, what do you like?” you scoffed. “I’m not watching Scary Movie like we did two days ago”

Jake snorted, “It’s a fun movie”

“It’s immature!” you whined. “I hate jokes about drugs and penises and farts. Like what is that?” you groaned. “The Eras Tour movie?”

“What?”

“Worth a shot, I guess” you sighed. “Joker?”

“Okay” Jake nodded.

“Great, popcorn ready?” you asked him and he nodded, handing you the bowl he had prepared.

You clicked on the movie and relaxed, placing your head against Jake’s shoulder. It was just an innocent move, you really didn’t think too much of it when you did it. It just felt comfortable at the moment and you two had shared thousands of moments like this.

But it wasn’t innocent for Jake.

His eyes immediately fell to your head and let out a shaky sigh, that he disguised as a cough while he cleared his throat.

“You okay?” you asked him in a hum.

“Yeah…” he said, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible about it.

Twenty minutes into the movie, you had downed the bowl of popcorn with Jake, so you left it on the coffee table in front of you. Jake didn’t expect you to get back to the place you were, right into his shoulder.

He decided to throw every thought out the window and carefully placed his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him, resting his cheek against your hair.

You let out a giggle and let your hand fall to his thigh, caressing it with your thumb.

Wrong fucking move.

Jake went stiff as a rock and felt himself stirring inside his pants.

What are you doing? She’s just being nice and here you are, acting like a horny thirteen year old, Jake thought to himself.

He was glad you were too invested in the movie playing on the screen in front of you to even notice Jake’s big frown over his forehead as he mentally and physically battled the boner he was so sure was about to pop any second now.

You let out a sigh and squished your cheek even more against his shoulder. Your hand now went up and down over his thigh, in a loving manner. And Jake understood that, it was just that his freaking groin didn’t.

He gulped down hard and started thinking about things that could help ease the horniness creeping up his veins.

My grandma’s underwear.

Sunghoon’s smelly socks.

Layla peeing on the bathroom rug.

You on all fours waiting for him to just-

Alright. It was impossible.

He couldn’t really focus on calming down when the scent of your shampoo was invading his senses, your face was so close to his and your hand was so fucking close to touching his dick-goddamnit.

Jake had to get out of there as soon as possible if he wanted to preserve the last bit of dignity he had left.

“Y/N- I-uh, could you wait for me?” you heard him ask you and you looked up at him with a frown. “I just want to um… go to the bathroom”

“Oh! Yeah, sure. Let me pause the movie” you said and grabbed the remote control that was on the coffee table.

“No need” he muttered before sprinting towards the bathroom in a rush and closing the door behind him.

His back hit the door and his fingers fumbled with the buttons of his jeans. Jake kicked them off his legs and let his cock fallout from the confiness of his boxers.

Jake let out a content sigh, trying to be as quiet as he could manage, as he rubbed his palm over his shaft slowly. He bit his lip and clenched his eyes, trying his hardest not to moan.

He knew he was going to feel embarrassed about this. He literally got hard at just the touch of your hand near his crotch area. He twisted his hand over his base and let out a tiny whimper that racked through his throat.

Meanwhile, you were busy with your phone, answering unread messages and just scrolling through your Instagram feed. Your eyes fell to the hour and your eyebrows furrowed. Jake had spent almost fifteen minutes inside the bathroom.

You decided to walk towards the bathroom, just to ask if he was okay when you heard a low whine coming from inside.

You gasped. Your initial though was that he had fallen and hurt himself.

“Jake, you alright?” you asked out loud.

His eyes immediately widened and his hand stopped moving, frozen over his base. “I- I, I’m fine, Y/N, don’t worry” he said, trying to seem as casual as possible, but he knew he was failing miserably.

Your eyes widened. “Are you um… you know…”

“No, I’m not taking a shit, Y/N”

Jake didn’t know what was more embarrassing to admit.

“Okay… I just wanna know if you’re okay” you asked him in a small voice.

Jake shut his eyes with force and sighed. “I just got a little problem” he admitted. Well, he knew for sure it wasn’t little, it was just a way of saying.

“What is it?” you asked him , getting closer to the door.

Jake couldn’t think of a moment in which he felt more embarrassed than he was right then and there. “I’mhard” he mumbled.

“Eh?”

Jake let out a frustrated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “I’m hard” he said, pausing so you could understand each word.

You went silent and Jake panicked for a moment, debating if he should’ve told you or not. He started to think how fast he could pack up his bags and text one of his friends if any of them had a spare room which he could crash in, while he went searching for a new apartment, probably Jungwon had one, or maybe Jay-

“I can help you out” you stated.

Yeah, Jay probably has- hold up.

“What?” he asked. He didn’t trust his mind, maybe it was the desperation he had at feeling your hands on him.

“I said… I can help you out, Jake” you said softly. “Open up” you chuckled.

Okay, not dreaming.

Jake slowly placed the boxers back over his hard on and opened the door slowly.

Your eyes fell torturously slow over the tent in his underwear. You pressed your lips together into a thin line and smiled. “All of this because of a little cuddling?”

“Shut up” he said and grabbed your waist, smashing his lips against yours.

You smiled against his lips and opened your mouth, letting your tongue slip inside, curling with his own. He gripped your waist tightly, rolling his hard on over the front of your jeans roughly.

Your hands went down his chest, raking your nails through the process, and hooked one finger over the waistband of the boxers he was wearing, tugging them down and releasing his leaking cock.

“Holy shit” he gasped. “I’d never… I’d never thought we’d be here” Jake chuckled, moving your hair out of your neck and started nibbling on the skiing there, making your toes curl inside your shoes.

Your hand curled around his shaft and started moving up and down, applying pressure to the base and letting it twist on the points you noticed he was sensitive.

“Shit… go faster babe” he panted against the curve of your neck, digging his teeth into it. You obeyed, moving your hand frantically, thumb sweeping over the tip, collecting the pre-cum leaking. “Y-yeah, like that”

You smirked and, with your free hand, you grabbed on his hair, pulling him away from your neck so you could kiss his lips.

He groaned against your mouth, his hands shamelessly drifting down to your ass, squeezing them over your pants.

“I’m- I’m close…” he whispered against your lips.

“Then come for me, Jakey” you smirked, biting his lip and pulling it roughly with your teeth.

He nodded his head and you jerked him off even faster, pulling him to the edge. Jake spilled his load over your hand with a satisfied whimper, his forehead falling against your shoulder as he panted, trying to regain his composure.

You smiled and slowly took your hand off of him, wiping your palm with a towel. Afterwards, you threw it in the bin with the dirty clothes and looked at Jake in the eye.

“That was intense, huh?” you giggled.

“Yeah…”

Jake was looking at your face with a certain glint in his eye, and it made your stomach erupt in butterflies. But you had only one thing in mind.

“Want to return the favour?” you smirked.

Jake’s smile grew even wider.

── .✦

taglist: @annhearttihaehe // @frequentlykit // @alexisfeliz // @jeonginsleftcheek // @yaorzu-blog // @jisunglyricist // @leeknowinggg // @ka0ila // @minghaosimp // @lixies-favorite-cookie // @yn-x-them // @chrizrizz // @madkati // @starzystay // @pancake-freckle // @velvetmoonlght // @regardsto-hell // @jaiuneamesolitaiire //

#jake x reader #enhypen x reader #sim jake x reader #jake imagine #enhypen imagines #enhypen smut #enhypen jake #jake smut #jake fluff #kinktober

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ladybyakuya · 5 months ago

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IS WHAT LOVE IS ? | GEN NARUMI.

+cw.— omegaverse au ( alpha!male x beta!reader ) + roommates au + college / university au, gen narumi x f!reader, fast burn ( we don't appreciate it enough ), world building, angst & hurt, smut, mentions of alcohol, bullying, blood and physical injuries.

+syn.— When college got busy with upcoming internships, classes became hectic, sleep schedule got fucked up and exam stress piled on: gen narumi sought blissful comfort in your presence. However, the same can not be said about you.

+wc. —5k ( dw I think I'll often talk about this in my main.)

+playlist. — affection by between friends \ no love in L.A by dutch melrose \ fire by jvke \ is this what love is by wasia project.

+notes. — one of my favourite things to get things done by challenging myself so please be kind to me if you feel my writing is little off or not fitting my general pattern. thank you, enjoy reading. | redirect to blog navigation.

+tags. — into the omegaverse collab by @goxjo + other tags : @sukirichi @to-eden @stunie @interstellar-inn

[ one. ]

"We should fuck," Narumi announces walking into the dorm room half-clad in the towel and boxers freshly showered, clusters of hair falling onto his face, wet and aromatic opening the door with a bang. Still, it failed to startle you like it generally does. His arm is still holding the door open as you try immersing yourself more into the university website that is spread open on your laptop attracting a fair amount of attention. A barely visible deft amongst his eyebrows arises as his presence remains unbeknownst to you even after he clears his throat. Are beta's senses that dull?

You take the bluetooth earphones off your ears. "Did you say something?" you pose the question as if you are aware of his presence just now.

Letting his fingers skim through his wet hair he grumbles, "We should fuck," with pinnable irritation in his voice not that you would know why he is being cranky.

It is your turn to be silent. Your eyes switch over to the calendar hanging on the wall right beside him. It is still two weeks for Gen before he starts to show the bare minimum signs of an approaching rut. Besides, he has never been this ridiculous. "Did the summer heat finally take your sanity?" you exclaim with a scoff returning the annoyance right back at him but respectable enough to look at him as you spoke. Your phone chimes followed by a vibration and Narumi is forced to cover one of his ears with the arm that has been holding the door all the while; his other ear suffers the damage.

"How many times did I tell you to tone it down a few notches?" He gets inside finally closing the door. All you could spare for response is nothing but a glance of unease. Who is he to tell you what to do and what not? You put your notebooks and a few things in your bag as his whistle finally blows off. "It's been two years already. when are you going to finally give in to my alpha charms, huh? I know that you are no strangers to the modern ideas of mating. I mean you are quite active so why don't we just celebrate the last year of graduation being fuck buddies rather than just roommates?" You roll your eyes when you are still facing his back to him. You turn around to tuck your hair behind your ears making the bluetooth earphones visible. Holding up your fisted right wrist in his direction you tap on the watch two times and fist out your palm with all five fingers and Narumi just squits his eyes. Before he could make full sense of what you are conveying, you are already out of the door and Narumi knows better than anyone that you love listening to music at high volumes without interruption. Maybe you do so because you are a beta or you are sad or annoyed about something. It couldn't be him, could it? Sometimes when the surroundings get too quiet and you are listening to music he can hear what song it is.

Not that he is a fan of your music taste but he has rather expressed in preposterous ways to exhibit his distaste for your tastes, likes, and dislikes, sometimes even unasked for one and you were fine with it. You were fine with his obnoxious, rude, and rough behavior. Even in his class, he has a hard time getting along with his batchmates. Every once in a while he would come up with bloody knuckles or a bleeding nose, scratches in his face sometimes and you would have no other choice but to tend to his wounds. You never bothered to ask how he got hurt or why he hurt others and he never decided to divulge. Being at the top of the university has prevented him from getting expelled. The professors are fed up with him but are willing to put up with him only because he is sincere in his studies. And, he is surprisingly good at it given his nature. Sharing a room for almost more than two years with an alpha like Gen Narumi is not a cakewalk, especially for a beta like you. Even before moving into the dorm room, you knew that you would either be paired with an omega or an alpha. You knew what you were getting into and with the advancement of medicinal chemistry cohabitation with other species of your kind has become easier than before yet the primal urges never really fade, do they? After all, what is more dangerous than an unmated alpha?

You check the time. You are so early for someone who has an interview for the first time. You sit with the other candidates without a slice of panic in your body. Thanks to Gen for nuking your attention into something that you would never expect in nightmares or another universe. Like what the fuck was that? What kind of question was that? Was that even a question? As for a fact, an alpha's desire is too innate to ignore. And with the amount of patience stored in Gen Narumi's body if anything was possible it would have happened in the first few months of college year. Wait a minute! is he finally asking you out after trying to hide it for almost two years? If yes, that would certainly explain why one time he gave you cologne on your birthday which would complement his scent too. Not only that, it would surely explain how he snuggles to you during movie nights, or on liquid nights he would almost spoon you when his ruts were approaching he was too broke to buy video games. But at the same time, you can not completely claim those actions as an act of pursuit of seeking a potential mate in you since it was just an extremely rare occurrence.

You remember the time when both of you just came from an exam semester party being too drunk, high, and happy to change or freshen up. Both of you just passed out on the nearest bed to the door of the room and you swear you felt a graze of something sharp upon the nook of your neck. But you swiped that thought at the back of your mind thinking it as a dream or some bad alcoholic effect. That night you woke up with Narumi in your bed sleeping like a log, a loud log to be specific. You have always given him space during his ruts since it works better that way; rather than arguing to come to a truce. That's how you have always been. That's how betas had to be. You would always find him buried under a futon with bloodshot with a game controller in his hand, and a lot of junk food packets all around the room yet you chose to give him space because that is how you avoid alphas like him; the more you indulge with him, the greater the chances to be under his target radar.

"Y/N L/N is next. Be prepared." the mic announces breaking the pensive silence and your reverie of thoughts for a mere blinking moment.

On the first day when you moved in you clearly stated that you would file a complaint if he ever tried to scent you, mark you during his ruts. He just joked saying, "So, it's okay when I'm not in a rut?" but you would not budge or answer him so he mentioned in a sing-songy tone, "Oh don't worry. Betas are hard to influence. You should know that darling. Plus, you are not exactly my type." with a smug so loud on his face that you wished you could throw something at his face but engaging with him would give him a crack to widen the gulf, explore and test waters. . .you know better than that. But since unlike other alphas, he listened to it, he abided by it, he sustained it—- well tried to or he was just poking the bear for fun. He often does that when he is out of video games.

That is how you have always maintained a boundary between him and you.

Gen Narumi finds it impenetrable. You think all the things he does, he does it out of respect which is not exactly true. There is respect but just a pinch. Sharing a room with a beta wouldn't be too bad. That's what he thought when he came to know about you. He did mention in his admission form that he would not like an omega as his roommate but he did not expect it to be beta. It could have been an alpha or a zeta, someone either loud or too mute. Mediocrity has always been a foreign concept to him. And what's up with "do not scent me or mark me." as if he would be interested in such things. He is not like other alphas. Some alphas spend their ruts giving in to their urges while some take suppressants. Gen Narumi belongs to neither of them. He spends his ruts eating junk and playing video games. works both ways actually. It has always been like that since he was expressed as alpha in society. What would he do to a beta? or that's what he thought.

This morning when he said, well, suggested that you and him should fuck he was possessed perhaps. Why on earth would he say that? It does not make any sense because never in two years he has thought or even looked at you with a splotch of romance. Most of the alphas in his batch have already found a mate or maybe were forced to. He might be the only unmated alpha in this university which is why lesser potential omegas approach him. An unmated alpha is always seen under the lens of threat. And, if they came to know how he spends his ruts, they would not even acknowledge him as an alpha. At the start of the college year, he would often end up bullied by other alphas because of that. The last thing he wants to do is to use his pheromones on others. Why would he waste it on others? He doesn't exactly know for what or whom he is saving it. He would come to the room late whenever he got into a fight. One time he was so tired of all the bullying that he did not even try to defend himself or scare them away. By the time he reached the dorm room, he was too hurt to breathe properly. That night Gen Narumi came to know that even a beta can calm an alpha, and nurse them into good health if needed. He was too hurt to protest or say anything, all he could do was to imbibe your scent while you were taking care of him. Even betas have a smell. Did you do that on purpose? release pheromonic signals to calm him? Would it be so hard to believe if he were to say that most alphas took their roommates as mates? He can certainly try, at the very least he will get a good laugh out of your reaction. If you did that on purpose he has a chance to show other alphas that he is actually an alpha not that he cares what they say but since you showed your interest in him in a puzzled way he would certainly try to match your level. wouldn't this be a win-win situation if he fucked you? For you, for him, and others as well; it certainly would. That's right. This morning you did not pay enough attention to him so he will say it again just so he can reject you. That's what an exceptional alpha would do. He is exceptionally good at gaming and studies though so he can not see why he should let this opportunity slip through his hands like sand.

You open the door with the help of keys while holding your bag in one hand and your cell phone in the other. Gen does not leave his seat to hold the door rather graces you a glance and goes back to whatever he is doing.

“Yeah. I’ll definitely call you back, Hoshina-san.” you disconnect the call and Gen’s eyes are on you. He does not look away so you took it as a cue to explain something, anything. He just needs some info to be fed so that he does not start again. “Hoshina Soshiro is gonna be my supervisor if I get the job. The interview wasn’t so bad but I don’t wanna get my hopes up. He is one of the best and doing an internship under his guidance would be a great start. ”

“Stay away from that guy,” Gen grumbles looking back at his desk. It is unusually neat today. Not to mention his futon bed is folded and kept on his bed in a side enough that one can sleep peacefully without any problem. You would have said something to him if your attention did not keep faltering . . .Gen rolls his revolving chair in your direction, one of his legs is touching the wheels of the chair while the other is stretched creating a huge gap. His left-hand travels under his t-shirt and it hooks on his right shoulder. "we should fuck," he declares, inept and inert.

"oh god! Not again" you let out a groan and sit on the bed near to you. Your head is in hands not because of what he said or what he did, not even because your patience is thinning with each tick of the clock enough to not to put up with this anymore but because of what is about to come out of his mouth the next.

"So, you heard me the first time ?" he barks while leaving his chair. You just wave your hand nonchalantly in a gesture to dismiss him but he locks his hands in his chest taking a stern stance in front of you.

You tilt up your head looking him in the eye, "You know Gen we shouldn't do this," your elbows rest on your thighs as you start to scratch your index finger with the other.

"don't you mean can't? you can't do this?" Is he serious? Isn’t he joking? Oh God. Why isn’t he joking like he generally does? Maybe a reaction would keep him quiet but what kind? A yes? A no? Or a laugh?

"you know better than others that I can fuck, literally too sometimes." You exclaim hoping to judge if this is really serious or just some sort of prank. If the latter, then it's not funny. If the former, then you might have to consider moving out. You get up from his bed to grab towels and bathroom needs."Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. Maybe I need to prove to someone that I'm an alpha." Gen regrets saying that. Your hands have stopped as you look at him which rarely happens. You never do one thing at a time. Fuck! You’re still looking at him. Gen unlocks one of his hands and scratches his jaw.

"well, you chose a very wrong person to fuck, to prove then. I despise alphas. I would be much happier if you weren't one," That’s a little harsh, even from you.

"as if a beta like you could get me hard." You keep the shampoo and conditioner bottle on the desk with much greater force than needed. Here it comes. . .Oh okay.

"Well, have you been with Beta before?" Gen tries to dodge the bullet because this is not the direction of conversation he wants to go. "that's exactly my point-"

"an omega?" you pause and take a few steps towards him "An alpha?"

“Wha—t? What’re — you talking — about?” Gen blabbers. He does not step away as you come closer but he has the urge to do so.

"god. Please find someone else to lose your virginity." You turn around the moment you finish deciphering his goal. Gen starts to growl underneath everything that comes out of his mouth now. "me being an alpha won't affect you being a beta if we were to fuck. and I don't wanna hurt an omega or alpha—His patience is thinning out too. This really isn’t the way he wanted this to go.

"But you'd hurt me?"

"That's not what I meant,"

"Are you a virgin, Gen Narumi?"

"Yes—I mean no." He glitches and now he can not look at you.

"Which is it?"

". . ."

"I'm too tired to think about it now," you express with an exasperated sigh walking towards the bathroom.

"Is that a yes?"

"maybe be,"

"forget it." His tone is too sharp, demanding for someone who was begging you to fuck.

"What?" You stop before entering the bathroom and turn your head to him. "forget it" He repeats. You tilt your head, "But you just said. . ." you are starting to understand what this is really about. He does not want to fuck you neither want to lose his virginity or whatever he is trying to protect. It is his alpha ego acting up. He wants you to say yes so that he can reject you so that it strokes his alpha-nature. That’s it.

Your face distorts in disdain in his dense thought process.

Gen Narumi squints his eyes and then blinks. When he opens his eyes you are in front of him. You push him onto the nearest bed, your bed, and sit on his lap, legs folded and creating a dip on the mattress under the pressure of it, thighs grazing his pelvis.

"what're you doing?" Gen gasps as you let your palms touch his chest. He is gonna explode. His heart is beating so fast. You can feel it. Oh My God. You didn’t think this through.

"Well, let's see if a beta can get you hard or not."

You undress your top. You are not an omega. There is no stench. But your scent is so muted that he has to either influence you to emit some or get closer to inhale. The first option is a no-no because he would not like to anger you while you are on his lap. So, he has to get closer. Wait, closer than this? The smell from that night threatens his senses and memory. Before the realization fully hits his brain, his hand moves in your direction but you stop him. Did you do something wrong? Both hands are now aligned with his. You notice how your hands are different from his. His fingers are rough and raw. Yours are at least, well-maintained. You slowly interlace his fingers with yours folding his hands at the back. He could easily swat you away but he is not doing that. You lean into his face and he does not move away so you take that as a yes to lick from his collarbones up to his chin and immediately pull away.

Narumi’s eyes are closed, head still tilted. Without giving him a moment of reprieve you let your lips graze on his, just barely, and pull away just a little, wet yours and thereby skimming at his bottom lip in the process. He opens his eyes, slowly looks at you, and then your lips. He is breathing like a tired puppy. He inclines, perhaps for a kiss but you sway your head giving him access to the side of your neck. As you graze your cheek against his jaw, his hands that are still at the back are held by you but it is slowly getting lithe as you feel his lips on your shoulders, hot tongue on your skin, and then a sharp graze of his fang from your shoulder up to the back of your ear. You tip your head down for a moment feeling goosebumps arise on your skin barely allowing him any moments of reprieve, only permitting a rare moment to breathe. You watch Narumi intently, unafraid to make things awkward, but Narumi is too distracted by his inner crisis to notice the amused stare mere centimeters from his face; studying him.

The tip of your tongue curls slowly but forcefully, tracing the plump of your bottom lip before sliding across Gen’s own and trailing the roof of his mouth. Eyes watching intently. Controlled. Curious. Amused. But then you abruptly pull away, lips shiny and wet. Before Narumi can ask why, your lips curl in on themselves, hiding a smug smile. It looks like you can’t catch your breath — like if you do, you will erupt into laughter. But a lopsided grin finally breaks free, tugging at your lips, when your eyes flash down to Narumi’s torso and back up.

Narumi freezes, heart, hammering in his ribs.

He’s hard.

“That was fast,” You smirk — and you stand. “I’m going to shower now.” you release your grip from his hands and get off his lap. Gen watches you go into the bathroom and looks down at his boner biting his bottom lip; a click of his tongue follows as he checks the time. It is too late to go out now.

when you come out of the shower he is not there. A part of you worries if he got into a fight or something or maybe he is with his big hot alpha friends bragging about how he turned you down. You hit the bed with a thud, exhaustion creeping up from your toe to head, slowly. You do not give a damn what he says about you to other alphas or anyone in general. A beta will always have to watch out for themselves. They can not rely upon anyone, not even their kind because most betas are dumb enough to mingle with alphas and get turned into omega with or without consent.

Look what fate landed upon your mother when she took an alpha as her mate. You let out a wry chuckle. Sleep seems like a foreign land somewhere in heaven.

[ two. ]

It has been two days since Narumi left. Some of his batchmates have started to ask you during recess and breaks between classes. You answered them the same thing every time. “I don’t know.” or “he didn’t tell me before going.” or “How should I know? I’m not his mate who can sense it. Go find his mate.” or “he didn’t take his phone. So I don’t know.” truly it had not bothered you until Professor Shinomiya showed up at your doorstep asking for his whereabouts. You politely and patiently answered him the same very thing that you have been telling anyone who asked about Narumi. For a hated unmated alpha he sure is popular.

On the third day, late at night, there is a knock on your door. You go and open without hesitation. Narumi enters wearing the same clothing he wore the last time you saw him, only a little fade. His hair is wet and it is not raining outside so he comes back after going missing for two days, freshly showered. Bloodshot eyes, hair messed up, and mayhem all over his body.

“Welcome back.” You say but Gen does not say anything but goes straight to his study desk. He has a test coming up. Professor Shinimiya said that so you would contact him if you had the means. Your day-to-day notebook is on his study table, under the stack of his books, and guess what? That is exactly what you need the most right now because without it you would not be able to work on your applications and resumes. It has all the details and info you. The moment you touch the stack of books, Narumi’s hands are over yours.

“Are you—-? Where were you ?” You ask and For the first time in your life, you feel that something inside you went missing. When did that happen?

Gen stands up but you do not scoot away as he closes the gap between him and you. That’s what he likes about you. You were never afraid of him. You never considered him as a threat like others. Now, that he is closer you can smell several mixes of strong musky aromas. It is odd. You have been close to him before, but never once knew his scent. Is he in a rut? Or did something bad happen? Did he. . .? Was he attacked by a gang of omegas or alphas? It makes your stomach turn thinking about whatever the probable reason for such a state as his.

“Oh? You can tell?” There is a few inches gap between his face and yours. His palm is still intact on yours. The grip is lithe yet you don’t move your hand away.

“Gen? What? OH. God.” You had to swallow since tears threatened your eyes. “Are you okay?” A trembling whisper is all it takes for him to finally say something.

“Leave.”

“What?”

“Just leave for a few days. Go to some friend’s house or something,” He is still sitting, his eyes are on the open book now but his hand is still over yours.

“Why? What did I do?” You ask trying to move away your hand but in a swift moment, he grabs your wrist and pulls you closer as he stands up.

“I’m — in a rut. So, I need you to stay away from me.”

“But — I’m a beta. You don’t need to worry.”

That is funny. It is because of you that he is such a shipwreck now. It was your pheromones that fucked him up. It was you who calmed him with scents when he came home injured. It was you who had no control over pheromones when drunk. It was you all along and despite that, he can not bring himself to hate you. Why can’t he hate you when he wants to? He even took a whole bunch of suprresants before coming back here. Gen laughs at your naive sentiment so blaring that you take a few steps back but he yanks you back to himself, a little too forceful than he intended to be resulting in you on top of him sprawled on the cold floor.

“Ohh? Why do you think I rub my fangs against your neck? You don’t think I do that for fun, do you?” You are still trying to get away from his grip but he is strong. He is stronger than you have known all these two years. “Are you too dumb to know that if I bite and knot you enough times you will turn into an o—

Thwack!

Narumi’s head is tilted away from yours. The exposed side of his cheek is red, his ears are thrumming and he has to force himself to keep his eyes open. Fuck. You’re strong. That was one hell of a slap.

“I know that. I’ve known that all my life. You don’t need to tell me that,” you yell looking down at his t-shirt. A cry is at the brink when you see a few drops of water fall on his top. You try your best not to fall apart in front of him but it is just too much. Hearing such a thing what your mother went through and then slowly becoming a victim of it is nothing but a slow poison. You refuse to live the life your mother led. You refuse to owe your existence to an alpha.

Narumi’s lips form a crescent but it is quickly clouded when your body starts to shake. You cover your face as you start to crumble like Rome in front of him.

Folding his legs he sits up. His hands rest on the floor to support himself as he whispers, “Hey, stop crying.” His voice is calm, pupils back to normal, not red anymore. “Please” He insists. “I’d hate to use my pheromones on you, especially now”

You slowly look up wiping off your tears with your hand.

“Tell me y/n have I ever used my pheromones on you?”

“No. Never.” Your hands fall on his chest. “But I still hate you. Why would you say something like that?” You stifle a sob and continue. “I know. I’ve never opened up to you—-” Your voice turns up, anger laced underneath. “But never did you. You think I don’t know—- that alphas bully you? Oh please! I know better than anyone what an alpha’s beating looks like.” You inhale a long breath, “I mean I have known that my entire life. I’ve seen my mother all my life— and I can’t see someone else getting hurt because of me . . . your voice breaks into a cry again and you inhale so as not to cry anymore but what good that would do now that he has seen the core of vulnerability in you that was tucked inside carefully with layer upon layer.

“Well,” Narumi starts to speak. “Save me then. Save me from this torment.”

“What?”

“You heard me.” Narumi jocks down to meet your gaze. “Be my God and I will be your devotee.”

You try to get on your feet. Gen’s eyes follow you, each of your movements until you are standing on your own. He is still sitting on the floor in the same stance, laid back and amused. He is sure you will say no. He has done this before. Back then you thought he was speaking out of delirium but that night when you saved his life he felt like he found a God to worship. He remembers saying, “I think I love you, Y/N L/N.” and you scoffed at him saying in no world an alpha like you would feel that about a beta like you when there is a bevy of omegas around him.

“Okay.” You murmur.

Gen’s mouth is parted. His eyes are big in surprise. “But just so you know, I’m hard to please,” you mumble with a sniff getting out of the room to make a call.

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fluffymarshmalllows · 4 months ago

Text

In every universe, I'll look for you

fanfic about Reader getting sucked in the portal first, Ford follows.

Another restless night for you and your husband in the basement. Coffee staining the journals as he scribbles more blurbs about this “Bill” person he keeps calling his muse. You didn’t want to feel jealous but ever since that absurdly long late night walk Ford took months ago, he’s been nose deep into every physics book and theoretical researches to prove something, anything. Every time you beg him to rest, he refuses making you a bit annoyed, blame it on the sleep deprivation and lack of quality time.

“Please, Fordsy, you really need some rest. We’ve been working on this project for weeks now” you muttered, half-asleep at this point. But words fell on deaf ears as your husband just waved you off with some empty promises of he’ll be with you to bed soon.

Too tired to argue, you kissed him on the cheek which caused his face to get dusted pink for a bit, but still very much focused on his calculations. A sight you will never get tired of. You also waved to Fiddleford who was roped in this whole project bidding farewell.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” he says without looking up as you climb the squeaky staircase. You reminded them both to get some rest while internally praying to whoever God that will listen that you get your doting husband back sooner than later.

Not even hours later, loud metal clashes and bangs from the basement jerked you awake. You shot up and dashed straight to Ford worried that something might’ve happened. Did he get injured? A part fell on him? Was he trashing the place? Shaking your head ridding of those thoughts. Running towards the basement fueled with adrenaline and a power nap is not ideal but the situation called for it.

You got there as quick as you can and witnessed a rather vulgar argument between your husband and Fiddleford leading to the latter walking out and bumping your shoulder muttering unpleasant words towards Ford.

Peering out from the basement stairs, on the other side of their makeshift divider was a big glowing construction whirring with power. “Oh my god” those were the only things that you could mutter in that moment. The machine was… working. It was finally working. After months of sleepless nights, exhausted arguing, they finally made it work giving you hope that things will soon get back to normal, or as much as it used to be.

Ford felt your presence and looked at you like a mad-man, eyes crazed with no sign of sanity. It made you question if the man standing ahead of you was really the guy you married. “It finally worked! The math finally made sense. Do you understand, Y/N?! This is our key to figuring out all these anomalies.” You took a step back your back against the door while he tries to coax you in joining him. “No, Ford, this doesn’t look safe”.

Ford turned his back to you, staring at his creation. “Fiddleford said the same thing” he mused, “but please, beloved, I won’t let you be in any danger”. His reassuring voice was enough to put you in some ease as you walked to him extending his hand.

He held you by your waist supporting your trenbling body, guiding you to admire their creation. Observing some sparks of electricty dancing across the ground and bouncing off the walls. Ford was explaining to you how it works, how he plans to use it, what they should do next and all that but one look at your alarmed face gave him all the hint he needed to keep quiet and let you process all this.

He was so enamored by this portal he built, you both did not realize the glass dividing the area was slowly cracking. Only took some more volts of current to run by it to shatter and allow the portal to suck you in.

It happened so fast. Ford tried grabbing you but the force was too much, pulling you in within seconds. You managed to maneuver yourself to grab on the portals frame. Using all your strength pulling your body out to ask for help one last time before you were completely lost somewhere some time in space.

“Ford, help me!” The last words his lover spoke before getting lost in the oblivion haunts him in his every waking hour. He tried consulting Bill about this, how to get you back, but Bill was adamant about the situation, believing that Y/N was just a hurdle to their masterplan. He spent too many lonely nights missing you and regretting what he has done, it was driving him imsane. This lead to him calling quits with Bill which ultimately made the polygon mad.

Alas, he struck the courage to contact his twin after years. This was not an easy decision for him but to set up his grand scheme of finding you in the vast universe, he had to have his brother fit the missing link.

Ford explained everything to Stan, or as much as his twin needed to know but things did not go exactly as planned. He was planning to portal jump, sure, but not get sucked into it accidentally. He found it somewhat humorous that he ended up the same way his lover left, through the portal—asking for help.

Journal log no. 176? 177. Two years, 18 dimensions, 3 timelines. I saw them again. Different hairstyle but with that same aloof smile. Happy in this dimension with me, alternate universe me. I still live to regret that day. It also appears that she is also being tracked by the space-time continueom agencies (noted from the encounter at the do-over dimension). Just what in the world did my Y/N get to?…

Journal log no. 320+. It has been almost 10 home years if I calculated it correctly. Still no sign of my Y/N in this timeline. From the dwellers of this dimension, it appears that the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron has laid low on the investigation of their whereabouts. It has become harder tracking them down, maybe they learned new tricks. Best to take a note of this…

Journal log __ . I have lost track of days in this dimension. Some part of this dimension are mirrors that behaves like looking glasses. Upon my first arrival, a mirror reflected Y/N staring back at me. As I am writing this, I am still formulating probable hypothesis that could explain their reflection on mine. Seeing them again after so long makes me yearn for them more. If only I h

A zipping sound ripped from a distance away from Ford as he's trying to journal his discoveries.

“Time to go” quickly packing all his materials shoving it in his makeshift bag careful not to drop any while going on another leap. He looked back at those men? Aliens? Whoever those guys are they are pretty hot on his trail. Getting too close for his own comfort. And too many close calls with them than Ford will admit.

“Get him!” The smallest tentacle humanoid man commanded or something similar of the sort, it’s another universe language he has yet to decode. Learning the tongues became much more difficult since he accidentally stumbled on a rebellion matched with a bounty picture of your face displayed in every available surface they can stick it on to. Knowing you, whatever you did there most likely called for it or he hopes so, anyway.

Muttering some curses he took his grand leap and entered another dimension. Not once did he look back.

This time it looked like another parallel timeline of his home universe. Ford walked around pin pointing important anomalies, most of them minor like an extra toe on a cat or a bird with butterfly wings. He slumped down under a tree near the opening of the forest to draw these creatures. Pulling out his journal, he realized something in this dimension feels right, for the first time in a long time, he felt like he belong. Another minor anomaly in a dimension filled with other anomalies. It made him feel normal, but not complete. Ford sniffled his tears back overwhelmed by the feeling of missing you. He never stopped looking for you. Eyes scanning every place hoping to see you again, waiting for him, happy with him.

Coast is clear and the sun was slowly setting. It lulled Ford to take a nap. Closing his eyes trying to remember what you look like. It’s been years since he last saw you. In every universe and timeline you were in, they did not look like you, his Y/N. Something was always off, but one thing remained constant— you were always happy together with him. Ford chuckled bitterly. Only in the universe he lived in was he alone. It was unfair, but he did this to himself. He regrets all the time he spent with Bill than his own spouse. His only lover, to think that fame and knowledge blinded him to put you in danger.

A soft thud was heard from the tree he was resting on, followed by a feeling of being watched made chills ran down his spine. Ford became hyper-aware looking, searching, for anything. Standing up quickly, he was ready to dash for it but for unknown reason he stood his ground. His feet felt glued to the ground, waiting for whatever it was to emerge from the trees’ shadows. The now dark forest was eerie and he could not risk getting hurt in another dimension. A pitter patter of steps from the forest heading his way made him draw his gun aiming at the darkness. His fingers at the trigger, steady.

“Fordsy?”

His breath hitched. Hands trembled. A figured appeared out of the dense forest. Face to face with the gun he was ready to fire. His heartbeat was so loud it was almost all he can hear. Seeing you, still perfect after so many years. With gray hairs and past your prime, yet you still had the same effect on him. Decades or more has passed but the feelings remained the same.

Both of you did not dare to take a step. You feared that this is all in your head, a fragment of your imagination that you did not want to go away. The air was still, and the silence deafening. You can’t take it much longer and you run up to him. Ford took you in with open arms.

He hugged you tight, not willing to let go. Never again will he let you go. All those years of longing and you’re finally back in his arms. He stared at your eyes, filled with the love and adoration like the days you were married and living with each other. You took a step back and slapped him. Hard.

“How dare you!” You angrily muttered to him. Voice tight but not so loud to disturb the silence. “This?! This is what you were trying to make?” Shoving a pointed finger to his shoulder blade. Ford was hurt, but he knew he deserved that anger. “We were always together! In every dimension I went to, even in our past, did you know how much it hurt seeing us together? Knowing that every version of me is happy and loved while I am trying to go back home to a husband who’s cheating on me with a guy!” Y/N rambled exasperated. Your cheeks felt wet, not realizing the tears already started falling. All those years of resentment and anger to your husband resurfaced. “And you know what the worst part is?” You sniffled trying to sound brave “I still love you! And at times I feel like a fool for doing so.”

Ford was confused with what to feel to say the least. He felt sad you had to endure being lonely, longer than he had been. Joy? That you still love him despite his wrong doings. Humour as he realized that you thought Bill as a mistress. That made him crack a small smile which you noticed. You turned around calling him a jerk while wiping your tears muttering cusses.

“Dearest” he tried calling out to you. “You know you’re the only one I love right?” He cooed, still not getting over the fact that he had someone else. He reached out to you gently, wrapping his arms around you. His chest at your back as you felt his breathing on your neck. “Y/N, please face me, it’s been so long since I’ve seen your beauty.” Ford purred. What else can you do but look at him again, you reached your hand to the cheek you hit and soothed it for a bit. “I’m sorry for hitting you” you muttered looking at his eyes. “It was deserved” he replied sheepishly avoiding your gaze. The tension was as thick as the dense forest behind you and you can’t take it anymore.

You pulled him down by grabbing the collar of his coat to give him a kiss. A bit stunned Ford was but he warmed up to it. Breathing a sigh of relief, finally in the arms of his Y/N, with no plans of letting her go.

They trudged into the woods, conversing on what they witnessed and all the universe they jumped, comparing notes and journals. You proudly showed him yours as you stated “I was just copying you but it became a scrapbook of some sort”. Inside were trinkets from dimensions folded into the paper with drawings and detailed descriptions of things you saw. Ford was more of interested with the folded wanted poster between those pages. He took it out and observed it closely. “Yeah, I became part of their council for a while,” you said which earned a questioning eyebrow raise from your husband. You raised your hands in protest “Well, I didn’t know that fruits were their money! I was hungry”. This made him laugh and it sounded like music to your ears. Mr. All seriousness laughing with you again, everything felt perfect.

Until the familiar space ripping nearby brought you both back to reality. Whipping your heads towards that sound, Ford exclaimed “I’m getting too old for this”. Grabbing your hand he lead you the forest clearing and pulled out his dimension jumper and you followed suit.

“We are now easily trackable since we are together so we need to be extra cautious” Ford explained as you both explore the city-esque universe you landed in. “Do you think we’d ever go back home?” You asked, stopping in your tracks. Ford turned to you “I trust Stan. It might take a while to be honest.” You nodded in respond, still not giving yourself false hope. “But I’m with you Y/N, and anywhere is better when you’re by my side.” His voice was so sincere you can’t help but believe him. You held him interlocking your digits together. His six fingers perfectly hugging your hand as you both jumped into another dimension unprepared but together.

word count: 2.5k words

woop woop first published fic! should i make a part 2?

#gravity falls #ford pines #ford x reader #stanford pines #stanford x reader #gravity falls x reader #gravity falls x you #ford pines x reader #ford pines x you #fanfic

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kkoct-ik · 3 months ago

Note

PLEASE explain ur shin DID thoughts I wanna know so bad

boy am i glad you asked (LONG POST)

prefacing by saying the sou DID headcanon is very special to me to the point that i talk about it as if it is canon. i know it is not canon. i'm not arguing that this is what these moments mean, i'm arguing this is an interpretation that i really enjoy, and this interpretation of sou's character speaks to the DID experience Unnervingly well.

i use sou & shin interchangebly, they are parts of the same person, but generally i say sou for during the death game and shin for before.

so. first.

the important bit — sou's dissociation from shin tsukimi

during his first trial, shin tsukimi is given the winning percentages. there he learns that 'shin tsukimi' cannot survive the death game.

to escape shin tsukimi's weakness and inevitable death, shin abandons him, and instead takes on the name and certain characteristics of midori, to build a new self — sou hiyori. he disowns his identity as shin tsukimi to psychologically escape from his fate, so that he can psychologically survive in this moment and keep living.

a part of DID is the repression and disowning of the weak and hurting parts of you, and in turn outwardly becoming & functioning as someone or something else that can survive.

sou very literally dissociates from the weak parts of his identity and becomes & functions as someone else to survive.

and that's the absolute basis of the headcanon. turn back now if you want to. the rest is me slowly losing my sanity.

me slowly losing my sanity

so. listen. here's the thing. theres a lot more in sous behaviour that you could interpret as DID if you know where to look.

it's not quite as simple as "there are two of him: shin tsukimi (who was weak, easily manipulated, and incredibly scared) and sou hiyori (who is not that)". there are quite a few more moving parts to this guy, and also a lot of grey areas where his identity breaks down and develops over the course of the game.

the sou we first meet is timid, but not particularly vulnerable: polite, but observant. you get the vibe he is silently taking note of everything you do, because he is. during the first main game, he takes control of the discussion by claiming to be the Keymaster, both securing his survival, and giving himself a level of control over the discussions.

when the information he found on the laptop and his attempts to throw suspicion on Sara causes everyone to doubt him, he begins to panic. he brings up the moment Nao hit him - something that must have been triggering to him, considering what defines 'sou hiyori' is that he is not weak like shin tsukimi is.

i like to think in this moment a subconcious part of him realises that the present sou hiyori is not removed enough from shin tsukimi to be free of danger. despite his distance, he's weak enough to be attacked - he could have been killed, and now he's at the mercy of the masses.

his protective parts and mechanisms need to kick in at 200%. so they do.

under the pressure sou snaps and goes into a a very aggressive protector part. sou projects outwards his vulnerability complex, calling everybody else 'weaklings' who are going to die (reinforcing his dissociation from shin tsukimi). he suddenly openly rejects the value of trust and human cooperation, in an attempt to make himself seem untouchable and entirely in control.

section: sou's protector part

i love this guy so i marked out a section just to break down his protective mechanisms. this is a direct continuation from the paragraph i just ended.

after his first instance in the first main game, sou's protector part (easily spotted by his fucking mastermind persona) appears multiple times to cover up moments of vulnerability. it makes him out to be a liar, but it also makes him seem incredibly calculating and dangerous, which works just fine for him.

during the token trade game, sou 'fakes' amnesia to avoid being singled out for his actions during the first main game. he reverts back to his polite & timid demeanour for a portion of the chapter, and also sleeps for a large portion of it (due to his sickness). but to allow himself this leeway (either to play up or let slip his weakness) he employs protective mechanisms: he enthusiastically tells Sara that his memory loss was a lie, and that he's been playing them all for fools. he intentionally gives her the impression that every moment of weakness he has let slip or otherwise is part of an elaborate plot.

whether this is purely for the sake of managing how the person he fears most percieves him, or because in this part he is genuinely so disconnected from his vulnerable parts and weakness that he refuses to acknowledge it was real, is up to interpretation to me. but i do love how many layers of lies and contradiction he symbolises.

(i choose to believe his amnesia was a genuine moment of vulnerability, because the scene makes me So Happy if i read it as a vulnerable part slipping through the cracks, who's entirely disconnected from the stressful events of the main game and is genuinely terrified. i like to think his later claim it was a lie was because he could not risk Sara genuinely witnessing his repressed weakness that he swore he disowned at the door. but i digress)

he has a similar 'moment of weakness' during the second main game, where he makes it more explicit that he is not necessarily him telling the truth when he says his earlier weakness was a lie. he relies on other's confusion and the fact people think he is one step ahead of them to protect himself.

he continues to employ his mastermind persona even after the shin tsukimi reveal - although its effect is somewhat lost now that everybody knows that he has vulnerable parts (and people he loves) to protect, and that his persona exists for their sake, not because it's his true personality.

mfw when the ego protection mechanism crumbles because i was vulnerable once and now my protector part hates me.

section: shadow sou

i was going to immediately follow onto shinai and what we can learn from him, but i want to clarify shadow sou first.

the long and short of it is i think he's the closest thing we have to a midori introject. while you could argue sou hiyori has introjected traits (which he most certainly does: he takes his name for christ's sake), i think shadow sou most explicitly takes after him, especially if you read soushin as an emotionally abusive relationship.

(lingo: what is an introject? an introject is an alter who represents internalised traits and figures. for example, if you had a personality who treated you like your mother treated you, and reinforces the beliefs you internalised from her, that would be an introject of your mother. they do not have to be accurate to the real person's personality; they only echo how you saw and internalised them.)

shadow sou speaks with sou like an familiar but condescending friend, comments on sou no longer being shin, and exists to reinforce shin's feeling of weakness. midori encourages shin to become the person you want to be; shadow sou is the one to pressure shin into becoming someone else. midori is a 'scary friend' of shin's, shadow sou physically frightens and attacks shin during his moment of panic.

as far as we know, we never meet shadow sou from Sara's point of view, so i interpret him as a more internal alter. there's a lot to play off with sou's / shin's / shadow sou's relationship: i think they are soooo cute. i just wanted to point out the similarities between him and midori.

section: shinaiiiiiiii: what can he tell us?

ok yaay onto shinai. although not strictly a version of sou (not his repressed weak personality, not his polite but wary personality, not his masterminding ego protection personality, and not his internal shadow self), because he is a computer program, he does give us a certain perspective on who sou used to be.

disclaimer: we know shinai was trained by midori's love poetry, and thus you can argue his personality could be slightly altered to be more suited to midori's purposes. for the sake of this section we will take things with a grain of salt: it's what shinai can suggest about shin, not tell.

shinai gives us the impression that shin tsukimi was polite, had somewhat low self esteem, and was conflicted on midori: on one hand, he scared him a lot, but on the other, he considered him close, and they spent a lot of time together.

during the maple boss fight, shinai sobs for midori to help him. i get the impression that despite being afraid of him, shin still relied on midori for security and reassurance (sou's lantern dialogue to corroborate).

my friend suggested that shinai's / sou's conflicting accounts (with part of him being afraid of midori, and the other seeking assurance from him) could in itself imply that shin (even before the game even began) is made up of two alters with opposing attachment styles. i dont disagree.

sou vs the shinai test data

this one will be short i promise.

i really like sou's morbid interest in the shinai test data. and i know the joke is that it's love poetry and sou is embarassed and repulsed by how midori saw him, especially now that he knows how cruel midori can be, but the scene also spoke to me as a dissociative person; there is nothing more viscerally uncomfortable than learning about things you did as a different personality. it messes with your brain, because it was you, but it also wasn't you - it can't be you, you don't remember it, and it's not the kind of thing you would do, but you did - and so your dissociative rejection signals go absolutely insane. so i like this tiny scene for personal reasons.

and thatse it (i think). i think i said it all.

tl;dr:

this is my headcanon :33 or well. a graphic i made a few months ago as i was solidifying the headcanon. some minor things ive changed my opinion on / perception of since but it gets the idea across.

that said i fully support any other interpreted sou hiyori systems. go fuckin wild. i spoke to a friend a bit ago about their personal DID sou take and i had so much fun.

thank you for hearing me out

#kostik speaks #i kid you not i spent four hours writing this in one sitting in some sort of autism induced hyperfixation haze #maybe five #i apologise if any of it is completely incoherent #ive been putting off writing this for a while because i didnt know where to start but! guess this is my best shot #yttd #your turn to die #kimi ga shine #sou hiyori #shin tsukimi #thank you for asking btw im aware you have before i promise i didnt ignore you this is just. a huge all encompassing hc to explain for me #yaay #time to collapse

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crescencestudio · 4 months ago

Text

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #44 | 8.29.24 ๋࣭⭑

why did august feel so long and so short at the same time

And hot girl summer finally comes to an end! Can you all believe we're already getting into September? That's..... crazy.

Before I get into the devlog this month, I want to make a small announcement! It's a bittersweet one, but overall, I do think it's more exciting than anything.

Crescence is FINALLY CLOSE TO GRADUATING!!!!

It's crazy to be able to say this. For anyone who's an OG fan of Alaris, you'll know I basically started game development at the same time I started my Ph.D. program. It's been a wild ride having to balance game development throughout this entire journey. Funnily enough, when I started Alaris, I saw many game developers say a game that was around the same length as Alaris would take about 4-5 years. So at the beginning of my program, I remember thinking, "Ahh... So even though it sounds so intimidating to work on something for 4-5 years, that basically means by the time I finish my Ph.D., I'll be done with Alaris, right? Might as well start then! If I'm going to spend those 4-5 years getting a degree, might as well also use that time to make a game :D"

*Graduates before I finish Alaris alosjdfliasdifj*

inserts a little fanart montage of recent fanart players have made to break up the text

Anyways, it's crazy that I've been on this journey for both parts of my life as long as I have. Both my dissertation and Alaris have equally tested my sanity, but words can't describe how rewarding it is to see the finish line finally in sight for both projects.

The thing is...

If I want to graduate this semester (which I so, so, so, so, SO desperately do), I have to write my entire dissertation (about 60k words) in about..... a 1-1.5 months, haha.....

On the bright side, it's feasible (Crescence says delusionally). On the not-so-bright side, it's going to test my sanity. And if there's a 5% chance I'll be able to make those deadlines and graduate this semester, that chance goes to 0% if I try to balance Alaris on top of that.

Which means...

I'll be taking a two month break from Alaris development, which is the first time in all of development that I'll be taking a break that long. For those who have followed me on this journey, you may know I've worked on my firstborn baby almost continuously since I first started this project. While I've balanced other games during development and sometimes taken short breaks where I don't make as much progress, I've never just Not Worked on Alaris. So it's a bit terrifying to imagine two months not working on Alaris at all.

But graduating this semester is important to me, and at the end of the day, as much as I love game development, it's very much my hobby. I don't talk about my IRL obligations on here too much, but I do have them, and finally getting my Ph.D. degree is one of my biggest IRL obligations and priorities.

So it's with tears in my eyes that I say Alaris will be on a break until the end of October. I'll still be around to answer questions (thank you to everyone who has been sending them in and showing sm curiosity and love for the cast!), and the Patreon will still be up for those who want to play Druk's beta. But aside from that, I'm taking a Full Break on Alaris so that I can buckle down and focus on the final stage of my degree :')

I know this may come as a disappointment to some of you, especially those who have followed me for a while and/or are eager to see the full game release. It pains me to have to step away from Alaris for such an extended time, especially since the weight of full game release does weigh on me with each day lmfao. I want this game out just as badly as the rest of you, and especially because so many of you have trusted me with your money, time, and support, please rest assured that this decision didn't come easy. It's my biggest hope that when I return to game development after finishing dissertation matters, it will be full steam ahead now that I'll no longer have degree obligations hanging over my head.

With that out of the way, let's go into this month's devlog! I'll try to make it as juicy as possible for you all as a thank you for your patience and support while I Get That Degree <3

Thankfully, this past month was much more focused in the writing department! While there was some small editing happening in Fenir and Druk's routes, it was minor changes compared to July. Most of my attention was on Kuna'a, and I'm very excited to say that the first draft of his route is OFFICIALLY FINISHED!!!

THAT MEANS ONLY ONE ROUTE IS LEFT FOR ALARIS TO BE WRITTEN!!!!!! It is so crazy to finally reach the last stretch of script writing. While I'm sure there's much editing to be done, the idea of having the base drafts finished is honestly hard to believe considering how endless script writing has felt.

A sneak peek of Kuna'a's route to celebrate

With how plot-centric the last three routes feel, it's also rewarding in a different way to officially write out a lot of the main plot details into the script, instead of just dropping bits and pieces here and there.

It makes me sad to pause Alaris development right when we're getting into the last meaty bits and pieces, but hopefully this just means when I return to development, I'll be hitting the ground running after missing working on the game ^^

Art has also been making lots of nice progress this month! I finished about half of Druk's CGs and our current CG counter is.... 25 out of 54! Which means we're just about reaching the halfway mark with CGs as well ^^

One of the CGs was so hot, it broke my iPad and almost lost ALL MY ALARIS ART ASSETS!! ha!! ha!! ha!! That was a fun part of this month!!!! Anyways, this isn't the CG in question (that one would be too spoilery to show, though it is on my Patreon for those who want to see it, heh), but this is a CG that I'm particularly fond of that I finished recently---Sneak Peek!

What lipgloss do you use, my man

CGs, aside from sprites, are the last main art assets that need to be done for the game. So knowing that they're just about at the halfway mark really shows that we're getting into the last stretch of the game's development!!

Finally, in extremely exciting news, we launched Druk's beta recently! WHICH MEANS..... HALF of the routes are beta coded for the game!!! WHAAAAT!!!!

Obviously, I'll be going in later to fix up some things, add in more sprite expressions, the CGs, etc. at a later time for these routes. But the fact half of the game is basically coded is so surreal...... I remember when these updates were just me telling you I was still writing and that was literally it LFJALSDJF.

Now, we're here on our third route to be beta tested!!!

everyone thank @minthe-drawings for drawing our beefy boy in all his beefy glory

Druk's beta will be up for a while since I'll be on break from development, but if you'd like to play his beta, sign up for Hydra on my Patreon!

This month, we've also started including drabbles to the Patreon for free members. So if you don't have funds to support through paid tiers but would still like some extra content, I've started writing drabbles that are free for anyone following my Patreon to read ^^

Finally, as one last thank you before I go on my break, we recently reached this milestone on itch.io!!! Y'all have downloaded Crescence games 100k times and played my games over 200k TIMES.... (we technically reached 200k plays a while ago, but I wanted to wait until the downloads number was a pretty 100k).

not to mention the other milestones we've hit. thank you all for your support ;_;

It's crazy to even see this kind of number on my page.... I remember I used to see other amazing devs post these kinds of numbers and I could only dream that one day I'd be able to experience that kind of engagement. And so seeing that number for myself.... it's just really humbling to know you've all supported me for this long and to know I've reached the amount of players that I have <3 Thank you as always for the support and love you've all given my games. One day I will reward you all in kind and release Alaris....LFMALSDIJF

For market research this month, I have been trying to play Fields of Mistria in the small pockets of free time that I have. March and Eiland my beloved. But what I really want to highlight this month is...

No one is surprised that I am, once again, telling you to support @ravenstargames

Lost in Limbo is a phenomenal dark fantasy VN that just released their demo and went live with their Kickstarter. The team is made up of some of the kindest, funniest, most hardworking, and talented people that I know, and I can't recommend the demo enough. The cast is diverse and has so much character (I literally love every character). The writing is beautiful, and the art is absolutely stunning. It's the team's first game, but you wouldn't know it from how polished, immersive, and breathtaking the demo is! Please consider supporting the team, whether it's playing the game or backing the Kickstarter. They deserve every ounce of success they get, and if you're a fan of fantasy and stunning storytelling, you will LOVE THIS GAME!!! Envy stans RISE!!!!

That's all for this month (and for the next two months.... wah.... don't forget about me everyone...)! Hope everyone stays well and warm as we enter fall, and I'll see you all in November <3 I'll miss you all dearly (I say this as if I won't still be around to answer asks), and hopefully when I return, I'll be making my debut as DR. CRESCENCE!!!! \o/

#alaris #devlog

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lazy-sixteen · 29 days ago

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Still on my pathologic kick, anyway, character relationships we don't talk enough about but that make me insane, Artemy addition

Artemy and Capella

First off, just the fact that she can, has, and will psychically, unconsciously SOS him across town. We need to talk about that,

and like the fact it's unconscious, please image post-canon Capella accidentally summoning Artemy bc she and Khan had a fight. Giant, angry doctor on call at any moment against both their wills

Their first conversation where she tells him about curling up in her mother's coffin, "of course we're friends", presenting herself as still weak and coming into her powers vs. their conversation at the Cape, denying an emotional connection, "we're not friends", saying she can do it all on her own - I'm insane. I don't even think it's manipulation, I think she wants an adult who treats her like a child - not a reincarnation of her mother- but gets frightened at the possibility of losing even a drop of her control. The way she specifically denied seeing Artmey as a father.

Capella desperately wanting to be her mother and to have an adult's responsibilities as a Mistress and the children of the town's mother (the way she calls Artemy's list, "our children" - like they are both adults) vs. Artemy seeing how much Capella can resemble her (shitty) dad and being the one person reminding Capella she's not her mother and she is a child, and he'll treat her like one.

The role of the White Mistress based on Victoria's Tomb as "being" the town vs. Artemy specifically talking about the Town calling him - He'll always hear Capella's troubles and pain

And we're back to the psychic SOS thing, but like from a humorous standpoint she really could do the "projecting my period cramps meme"

Artemy and Khan

Okay this is shorter, because they don't interact much but their conversation after the House of Death where Khan gets mad at Artemy for letting him and Notkin go into the dangerous house makes me want to scream

Like not in a bad way - Khan has a point that it was irresponsible to let him and Notkin do that (as does Artemy in that he couldn't really stop them), but just ....

Super independent Peter Pan-meets-child dictator character's first response being "Why didn't you (an adult) stop me (a child)?" is wild

He gives very similar vibes to Capella in which they will loudly declared they don't see Artemy as a parental figures and don't want him to be one, while simultaneously desperately (and likely unconsciously) really wanting the safety net of an adult who will selflessly care for them - something they don't have due to their (1) weird families' expectations of them as future mistress/Kain, (2) their own hyper-competence and independence

Artemy and Andrey

This isn't as serious, I just think it's funny that Andrey has suggestive lines at Artemy in patho1 and patho2. Also is like genuinely pretty friendly with him in both (he'll give you Tyrwine for checking on Peter and he's outright help in his 1st Patho 1 sidequest)

Also just straight up, doesn't believe Artmey if he takes credit for destroying the Polyhedron

Like in fan depictions, I often see them not getting along, but I'm 99% sure Andrey's impression of Artemy is "My Hot and Helpful Weed (Twyr) dealer" - outside of Dankovsky, he's the Utopian who probably likes Artemy the most

Meanwhile Artemy gives off strong "i am choosing to barely register a word coming out of this man's mouth for my own sanity" vibes

Aspity and Dankovsky vs. Aspity and Artmey

Okay, mixing Pathologic 1 and Pathologic 2 here a bit which might not be fair as Aspity in general does seem more serious in Pathologic 2 (even for Daniil in the Marble Nest)

BUT the sheer whiplash of Aspity calling Daniil a prickly prick and monologuing suggestively about naked women at him in Patho1 vs.

Declaring herself Artemy's spiritual elder-sister/mother, keeping his inheritance safe, trying to save him from a cruel fate with Patches even at the cost of her life in Patho2

The whiplash is wild, I want to lock the three of them in a room and see what she does

Artemy and Taya

I love that being the co-ruler/enforcer/parental figure mix to one weird-magical little girl ruler who can magically communicate with him wasn't enough

Taya subconsciously yoinking Artemy into her dreams to play dolls or tell her stories - he hasn't slept in a week

Also I think it would be really interesting post-canon to look at how they are doing as the two big spiritual and political leaders of the Kin

#pathologic 2 #artemy burakh #capella olgimskaya #khan pathologic #long post #andrey stamatin #aspity #taya tycheek #sorry not over capellas 'OUR kids' and artemy saying “YOU are one of my kids” and never will be #i could probably do another no artemy version bc the inter-character relations and what Clara and Dankovsky have going on is also wild

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hummingbird-games · 1 year ago

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2023 In Review (Indie Games)

Last year's! | 2021

I apologize in advance for how long this might be. As a reminder, I don't bash games here so even if I hated something with every fiber of my being...I ain't sharing. As a second reminder, my more in depth reviews and live blogging has moved to Gem's Game Gems so I don't clutter the HBG's main blog. Okay. ON WITH THE REVIEW!!

DEMOS

Diffraction (Demo)- A rainy day otome indeed. I love the quiet gentleness of this game, the two romance options, and the fact that our MC is a photographer and struggling with her art and stack of life "failures" (because...SAME!!)

Alaris - I was asleep and now I am awake: I came late for the advertised fae and dragon lore, stayed seated and waiting for Fenir zjgjdf. Oh, and I guess the mystery surrounding our MC's abilities LOL.

The Summit Library - When I say I was maaaaaad when I realized I blew through chapter 1 and would have to go back to waiting for more content??? LOL, I was very miffed. Anyhoo, check out this title for the gorgeous art, another intriguing mystery (like what is *up* with the magic in the poor library?? who or what is to blame?? 👀) and of course the lovely characters we've been introduced to thus far.

Of Sense and Soul - I'm a regency romance girl. Like after you strip away the other stuff, I am but a poor woman with simple needs: a good ass love story 🤧💛 It's about the yearning and the slow burn and the will they/won't they/PLEASEEE they...I've never been so charmed by a demo, and the full game is going to be amazing I just know it!

Made Marion - This project is a game I've been keeping tabs on for a hot minute but hadn't taken the time to sit and properly enjoy the demo. I'M SO GLAD I DID!!! It's in early access now, so I'm hoping eventually I'll be able to carve out some time to play, but guysss Velvet Cupcake is doing the Thing?!? No idea which love interest I'll go for first, but I had a fun time meeting the Nottingham peeps in the demo.

Herotome (Super Demo) - Oh gosh. Oh gosh oh gosh oh my GOSHHH. Where do I even began?? (Really the question is where the hell do I end because this is one of those projects I talk about a lot/think about a lot and surprisingly haven't run out of things to say zkjfksjd). Another game I've been following for a while, it 100% lives up to the superhero genre in its aesthetic, the characters you interact with, the music and sound design, and of course the slowly unfurling story. Jade and Mia had come out as my top faves, Warden is still there, like hovering in the backgroud, shhhh but I have a special place in my heart for Griffin too (that conversation we have with her?? I have so many screenshots just so I can go back and reread and sear the words in my brain. Like a weirdo. Yup.)

Celestial Crowns - Stats building, celestial royalty, dating sim where you fuck around and find out your choices directly affect your MC's personality?? I'm sat. I supported the Kickstarter and now I try to practice patience for the full game's release siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighh.

OTOME/JOSEI JAM

Please note this is a SUPER abridged list for my sanity and I fell a little more in love with these 2 jams with each entry I played...

Intertwine - As embarrassing as it sounds, I've never given much thought to the "red string" thing, and I consume more than enough romance media LOL!! But Van is suuuuuch a beautiful man, the UI for this game is so interactive and lovely, the music is ALSO lovely, just lovely-love all the way around teehee. (Also this game encourages replayabillity so like, do with that info what you will.)

Spring Boy [Demo] - I believe this game is going through a complete rehaul, so my thoughts and feelings refer to the original jam entry I played. The art is bright and cute and it's a super super short demo, but I was intrigued by the other student we meet on our mission to plead with our professor about our bombed exam lol!

Assignment Due: Project Blue - IRl group projects??? Suck absolute ass. Group projects with a guy name Asher?? Suddenly it's my new favorite thing in the world 😁

Cryptid Campaign Manager [DEMO] - Remember the last time I looked over a cryptid dating sim??? Remember how I was SUCH a fool?? Good thing I didn't make that mistake again!! The prologue is such a tease but you get an idea of what the full game is gonna be like, and I'm excited to see where my career involving love (and politics) goes!

Heart Cage [Demo] - Yoooooo I stay my ass far far far away from yanderes (could never get into the trope or the character type). WELP. Guess I just needed to keep searching because I really downloaded this off a whim--well, the whim being one of my fellow dev peers playing and rating-- and proceeded to get sucked in 🤧I thought being a detective would be the highlight, but I guuuueeesssss I was more into the romance options than I thought. Oops.

Evernight - I tried to explain what this game meant to me on the side blog, but words failed me. I still don't know what to say other than I loved it?? Which is like ummm I say I love everything, and yeah I'm easy to please BUT Y'ALLLLLL if you play no other game, play this one. Please. Date a werewolf. Or a vampire. Or a fae. Plz. Also figuring out the mystery of your MC's abilities and past is just delightful, ugh.

Bright Oak (demo) - Anotha one I wrote about on the side blog!!! Play this one!!! The writing is lush and atmospheric and the characters are all delightful and it's another game with a mystery to untangle!

The Faithfulness of the Universe- This one gets the award for most unique all around entry that I played. Theeeeee prettiest pixel art to bless my eyeballs, and this tasty mystery concerning Fate and witch Faustina's future (or lack thereof 👀) and what it all means. As a player I very much want to know what it all means!

A Cup For All Seasons - Another game that needs its flowers y'all. It's short but super healing and super cozy and the voice acting and music really tie the gaming experience together???

The Working Woman's Guide to Burning Bridges - DEMO - It's the way I played the demo twice and I've been thinking about it ever since 😭😭😭🙃 obviously life happens and things come up, plus this was a demo. But. BUT!!! I am on my hands and knees prayinnggg the team gets together again to finish the game. I love playing as a stressed, lowkey bitter hot mess who doesn't have her life together 😂somehow the fictional version is soooo much more entertaining!!!

Keyframes (Spring Demo) - After the game College Craze, this is legit THE college, slice of life visual novel of my dreams. I cannot wait for the updated demo next year, and the Kickstarter whenever that rolls around. And now that the developer is on Tumblr, I've definitely been stalking the account and reading each new post like it's my day/night/weekend job 🤧

Hello Counsel 💋 - Okay I take it back, Evernight is like a 20/10 but Hello Counsel is like an 100/10 👁️👄👁️ This game is necessary for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, alright? The banter ✅ the character designs ✅ the music ✅ the sizzling chemistry between Poise and Salem ✅ I wish this game had more buzz because IT'S SO GOOD!!! (also the dev, Miseri, is who I wanna be when I grow up. I've made it through almost their whole backlog of games and there are no misses and EVERY game is different from the rest and it makes it hard for a toodler dev--ME--to cope LOL)

Candied Hearts - Isekaied into a candy themed game?? Sign me TF UP!!! (Peppermint I love you dearly, you must understand.)

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)

The Knight's Dilemma - I don't even know how I originally stumbled upon this??? I just know it had been in my backlog for a hot minute and I was intrigued enough to save it way back when. Y'ALL WHY DIDN'T I PLAY SOONER SKJFHFJFH! There's a couple different endings, I loved the voice direction, AND it's such a simple concept of a game that was just executed beautifully.

Trouble Comes Twice - If I had to make a top 5 list of romance VNs, guess who makes the list?? Guess. Guess guess guess. Have you guessed yet??? LOL! I have been in love with TCT since it's development days and with each passing month, waiting in anticipation, playing the Pateron beta builds, screaming on the main blog about every single thought I had about Jace and Hazel (shoutout to Jace for helping me figure out *me*) Lol if you're curious about said thoughts, those posts are on this blog and not the side blog.

Aelfric the Wondrous - 10/10 would love to forget my first play through JUST to have that experience fresh again 😭😭💛Cute and funny and a wonderful parody type game all around.

A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986 - Goodness, there's no excuse for why this took me years to finish but anyhoo, I finished, I loved it, I recommend it! It's romantic and achingly authentic and the art is soooo gorgeous I literally can't stand it 😭

The Things You Do For Love - Unhinged yandere manages to entertain and garner sympathy and laughter from Gemini. And that poly ending is chef's kiss too????

Band Camp Boyfriend - There are a handful of games I found and loved before I began my game development journey, and this is one of them. BCB is so dear to me, because of the story and characters but also because of the Dynamic Duo creators and their team behind the scenes. I was never a band kid I was a chorus kid but just as the band geeks loved this game to pieces, us normal folks do too!! Even the boys who I didn't like I STILL managed to find joy in playing their routes (still have a few more to finish at the time of this posting lol, GOTTA GET THE FINAL ROUTE YO). Anyway, this game more than delivered for me and I hope more people keep discovering it!!

Belle Automata: Chronicle I [RELEASED] - While only Chronicle 1 is out at the time of this posting, I already know that the 2nd and 3rd parts are going to be just as amazing???? I wrote about this one on the side blog, so here's my copypaste that still rings true:

I love TNP (The Nightmare Prince) but Victor’s route hit the sweet spot for me. Maybe it’s the slow(er) burn nature of this route, maybe it’s the reserved nature of Victor and watching him slowly start to care (AND NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE FEELINGS TEEHEE) for me.

A Date with Death - I wrote about this on the side blog--again--. The demo. And then right after finishing a route. And then again where I was fully awake and still managed to sound deranged. No copypaste for that, I shall be nice. But yeah!! Another game where I was screaming at the sky about how much I love it and how I'll never know peace as long as I live.

Our Life: Baxter DLC - I need to offer an official apology to both Cove and Derek because falling head over heels, down the stairs, crashing into the parking lot, falling again but down a manhole for Baxter's infuriating ass was NOT on my 2023 bingo board??? HELLO???? I bought his DLC just to complete my OL collection. Was not expecting to love it this much. Was not expecting to be called to write fanfic and abandon all responsibilities to do this. WHILE DOWN WITH COVID TOO. Allow me to play the song of my people. *Send in the Clowns plays*

Our Cinderella - (this is so funny I'm taking about a side game before the main game LOLOLOLOL) Guys. Guysss. You guyyyysss 🥹if you're looking for a cozy, hilarious, equally oddly and wonderfully sweet short game, this is the one!! You may have your personal favorite Iggy ship (like me) but all the pairings are so amazing and just make sense lol!

Wylde Flowers - This is the only non visual novel game on here but it gets the spotlight because I did NOT spend 90+ hours on this game to gatekeep this beauty. No. It the coziest, the funniest, the funnest, the most addictive Switch game (after Teacup) I've ever played.

Fully Released (& still on 1st playthrough)

Garden of Seif: Chronicles of an Assassin - Life kicked my butt and then sat on me SO while I finally got my grubby hands on the full copy, I still have only played the entirety of the demo. But. We will return to this in 2024 and hopefully I'll have a full review for the next wrap up!

Our Wonderland - I looked back at the side blog and I can't believe it was only THIS year that I started OW??? Because I'd known of the game and the dev for longer than that??? So basically what I'm saying is that I was chicken shit for longer than I've been in love with this world that Developer Carrot has created kjzhhshggj. But OMG to get me, who is scared oh so easily to get hella invested in this clearly labeled horror game??????????????? And even with shit gets super absurd and hella disturbing, I cannot stop playing. At the time of this post, I'm only in Act 4, hence the category above, but it's only because I play each act in a sitting and lose track of space and time and myself. That's a compliment btw.

...

Okie!! That's 2023 in a nutshell! I played a looooot of really good games this year and while I would have liked to talk about them all, I think this list provides a nice overview.

Let me know if we share any favorites!

- Gemini 💛

#gaming year in review #gamedev rambles #yeah no I cannot keep creating more work for me #2024 I am GOING to make a shorter list 😭🤧#hmmmm fun drinking game:#take a shot every time the word 'mystery' is used ☠️

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yeetmeoutthewindowdaddy · 3 months ago

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A deep dive into Zevlor's devotion (Part 1) Everybody hates tieflings, and how discrimination impacted a young Zevlor:

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR BG3.

These series of posts were originally one loooooong post— but apparently Tumblr has a character limit, and I found it; so now it's been split into several parts/posts.

((Part 1, this post, is mostly to give context to the discrimination faced by tieflings in Faerûn. The third part is where the meat of my Zevlor analysis is.))

(Part 2) Elturel's history and culture, the Hellriders, and Zevlor's paladin oath. (Part 2.5)

(Part 3) Zevlor's actions during Act 1, an analysis of a man who is barely holding on.

(Part 4) Zevlor's actions during Act 2, an analysis of a broken man.

(Part 5) Zevlor's actions during Act 3, an analysis of a man with his faith restored.

(Part 6) Zevlor's actions during/ after the epilogue, not all endings are happily ever after— especially not for a tiefling.

(Part 7) Zevlor in a romantic relationship.

I don't think many bg3 players understand just how dedicated and loyal of a person Zevlor is. This ADHD hyper-fixation fueled multipart-thesis is meant to show how Zevlor's past is as tragic as any of the origin characters'/ Durge's. It's meant to show how horrifically broken Zevlor was when he "betrayed" the other tieflings. It's also meant to show that our beloved blorbo would probably be fervently obsessive if he was in a romantic relationship.

Most importantly: It demonstrates how our favorite man Zevlor was most likely a fanatical religious zealot my dudes. He was (probably) a part of the Faerûn equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition lite.

I have kept this as factual as I am able to. Please keep in mind that Baldur's Gate 3 plays it fast and loose with the DND/ Forgotten Realms canon and lore, on top of DND/ the Forgotten Realms itself regularly disregarding and changing it's own lore and canon. DND lore and canon as a whole is a mess. It has multiple universes that sometimes interact and are maybe separate from each other. Full disclosure; I've mixed 1e-5e lore together FUCK 5.5e, because parsing through what is currently considered canon is a nightmare. As far as I'm concerned, as long as a piece of lore was canon at some point in the past 50 years— it's fair game. @y-rhywbeth2 in this post has a more in depth disclaimer. Also please check out their headcanons and lore breakdowns, they're so good.

THIS PROJECT TOOK ME OVER A MONTH TO WRITE. I've tried to find all grammatical and spelling errors. I've tried to ensure that I've cited the correct sources in the correct places.

I have given up on trying to understand Tumblr's inconsistent post formatting. Why does the 'small' option for text sometimes actually make the text smaller but other times it makes the text larger???

______________________________________________________________

● (Section 1) The Origins, Anatomy, and Physiology of Tieflings:

AN: It used to be that tieflings could only breed with other tieflings and humans. This seems to have been changed recently— one no longer has to have a demon somewhere in their genetic lineage to be a tiefling, one of their ancestors having contact with a demon is enough to produce a tiefling descendant. Which has interesting implications for Warlocks. There are also special versions of elf and orc tieflings.

(From what I can tell) tieflings live for about the same amount of time, maybe ~10 years longer than, humans do. (AN: Remember how I said the Forgotten Realms loves to retcon and disregard it’s own lore? The wiki states that their life span is from 90–150 years, but this source is from 2004 and the lore has greatly changed in the past 20 years. I am choosing to ignore the wiki here for my own sanity.)

Tieflings were humanoids with fiendish ancestry. They came about due to one of their ancestors (even many generations prior) getting freaky with a demon being "touched" by the evil planes in some way.

"Tieflings... were infused with the touch of the fiendish planes, most often through descent from fiends—demons, Yugoloths, devils, evil deities, and others... Although their evil ancestors could be many generations removed, the taint lingered."

Before some warlock shenanigans happened, tieflings had a much wider range of appearances than the ones we generally see now.

"In 1358 DR, a warlock coven...the Toril thirteen performed a ritual that cursed most tiefling lineages... [changing] their original lineage with that of the archdevil... Asmodeus [who] became a god... giving most tieflings... a similar devilish appearance... [whereas before] infernal blood could be diluted through intermarriage... afterward, the union of a tiefling with another race always produced a tiefling child."

Their infernal ancestry gave them some very powerful abilities.

"Tieflings had a number of abilities gifted to them by their fiendish heritage... an innate resistance to heat and... a hint of bloodlust that gave them a slight edge in combat. Tieflings also had access to an ability known as infernal wrath, which channeled their innate rage and potential for evil into their attacks for added effectiveness... [they] tended to have better reflexes than their human kin... [Tieflings are] alluring and intelligent creatures, with a seductive aura in spite of their obviously evil ancestry...

Along with some not so great traits that fed into the prejudices against them.

"Other, more unusual characteristics included a sulfurous odor, cloven feet, or... an unsettling air about them... a general aura of discomfort they left on others... most people were uncomfortable around them, whether they were aware of the tiefling's unsavory ancestry or not... Tieflings were carnivores. They consumed blood, blubber, bone, gristle and meat... [and] raw bone marrow..."

Tieflings tended to be resolute and tenacious, with a strong internal drive to rise above their circumstances.

"They are adaptable and resilient to hardship, and possess strong aptitude at whatever pursuit they dedicate themselves to... When facing adversity, the tiefling instinct is not to withdraw from the world, but rather to challenge it head-on... Tieflings seek to make their own fates, defy the odds, and take risks that... most... would not dare."

For some awesome insight on tieflings check out this post [alt] by @gortashs-skidmark, it's a good source on tiefling appearances and traits. Along with this post [alt] by @pikapeppa providing evidence-based headcanons on tiefling appearances. And this post [alt] by @y-rhywbeth2, which talks about how a tiefling's physical traits are influenced by their specific infernal heritage.

Their infernal appearance and weird vibes are why almost

● (Section 2) Everybody Hates Tieflings:

Even before Elturel's Decent into Avernus, and subsequently the events of BG3 (both of which I will cover later), Tieflings faced an incredible amount of discrimination— even from their own kind.

"Few tieflings were raised with the love a normal human child might expect to receive... Tieflings who had strikingly inhuman features were often killed at birth by their horrified parents or others. Only those tieflings with subtle features or born to someone indifferent to their appearance, either out of acceptance or cruel purpose, were likely to reach adulthood... Tieflings often distrusted one another, sometimes even casting the same preconceptions on one another that others did on them."

This post [alt] by @underdark-dreams highlights the discrimination tieflings face in game. And how the Flaming Fists should be called the Flaming Shits, but I'll get into that in another part of this series.

Understandably, they didn't easily trust others. But once someone did earn a tiefling's trust, they were an incredibly loyal friend.

"…[Tieflings] expected eventual rejection from all... However, members of other races would find that once they demonstrated friendship and trust towards a tiefling, it would quickly be reciprocated in full. Once that bond was forged, it was rarely broken."

While some tieflings wholeheartedly embraced the preconception that all tieflings were evil, others would endeavor to prove it wrong.

"Their attitude regarding their heritage... while some tieflings embraced it, others were repulsed by it... tieflings, who were proud of their fiendish past... chose to... thwart... dark plots and schemes. Others sought to... emulate these evil deeds. Other tieflings were ashamed or even frightened of their heritage and wished only to escape the shadow that lurked over them... Some did this through constantly doing good, as though to make up for the evil that begot them. Others instead hid [their heritage]…"

Looking like devils made people think they were devils, or acted like devils.

"Tieflings are widely stereotyped as wicked, cruel, and criminal individuals... [with] a tendency to be solitary loners... known for their quick temper, stubbornness, self-confidence, and fickleness in relationships."

And since people thought tieflings were, or would act like, devils they treated them like devils.

"The social rejection they typically face often leads tieflings to enter a life of crime, which furthers social prejudice against their race."

"We're distrusted and viewed as evil malcontents for so long that we start to believe it ourselves. It's hard not to try to live up to the hype, eh?"— Enkillo the Sly, tiefling

It's not a stretch of the imagination to assume that people would believe that: the more devilish a tiefling looked = the more they'd behave like devils (evil). It's also safe assume: that the more infernal traits a tiefling had = the more, harsher, discrimination they'd face.

This leads into my next topic,

● (Section 3) Zevlor's Infernal Appearance:

He looks like a combo of Sylvester Stallone and Willem Dafoe.

He and his Habsburg jaw lookin ass face seems to always have a 5 o'clock shadow. (Probably because he's a refugee struggling to survive, so his personal grooming habits have taken a back seat.)

Zevlor has more infernal features than the other tieflings do in-game. (As shown in this post [alt] by @lolliputian and @haru-sen) He has very prominent cheekbones, a thick brow ridge, and BIG horns. (Look at @cinnasalmon's post [alt] on Zevlor's horn anatomy.)

HC: The reasons his face bones are so protuberant is because they need to support the weight of his huge horns, as without them his (face) skull would fracture/ cave in from the constant pressure. Poor guy probably lives with a perpetual headache.

Zevlor's prominent infernal facial features make him look older than he probably is— as they emphasize the traits we humans commonly associate with aging; such as defined nasal labial folds, a lack of facial fat, and big ears. The striations by his eyes look like wrinkles, but I think that they're mostly infernal markings.

Stress prematurely ages people, and Zevlor had multitudes of stressors throughout his life: Contending with the discrimination from being a tiefling with prominent infernal traits, joining an elite military unit at age 12, rising through its ranks to become a Commander of said unit, having his city dragged into the literal Hells (more on that in part 2), defending the civilians/ city trapped in the hells, surviving the hells, then being stripped of his rank and banished from his home because of racial prejudices, and then leading a group of (mostly civilian) refugees to Baldur's Gate— all while desperately trying to keep them alive in the face of Faerûn's many, many, dangers.

Combining all the factors above would make any man look 10+ years older than he actually is.

Zevlor looks scary. His irises look like they're on fire, and his teeth are scarier than Astarion's. I was browsing Tumblr alone in my room, at night, 😳 and this photo of Zevlor popped up on my feed giving me a good scare. I have an unhealthy obsession with Zevlor, he's made it onto my official husbando list! And yet, I can't look at certain screen shots of him at night because they scare me. I'm a wuss.

I simp hard for this man, and yet I am still frightened by his appearance sometimes. Imagine how people in Faerûn react when they see his sleep paralysis demon lookin ass him in person? Screaming and running away is completely understandable.

Which brings us to,

● (Section 4) How Discrimination Impacted a Young Zevlor:

Even as a young child Zevlor would've know that his appearance othered him.

"Most tieflings were aware from an early age that they were different from others around them..."

Even as a child Zevlor most likely knew that many people would dislike him and refuse to trust him because he was born a tiefling.

Tiefling families in the traditional sense are rare. Many tieflings, born to human parents who possess a latent infernal bloodline, are abandoned at birth and raised by a monastery, church, orphanage, or adoptive parents.

I headcanon that he had at least one loving parent—before he was orphaned, but it's entirely possible, and likely, that he was abandoned at birth.

Young Zevlor would've known that he would have to work very hard to be seen as something other than a criminal or evil monster.

"While some [tieflings] would... [turn] towards evil, others rejected it wholeheartedly and sought to make a good impact on the world around them, sometimes becoming the most heroic characters of all. Few could maintain this discipline however."

AN: Elturel was a theocracy (more on that part 2)— Zevlor likely grew up in a deeply religious family/ community.

All these factors combined would lead to a young Zevlor who:

Was determined to prove his goodness and rise above the adversity he faced. The force of will and work ethic he needed to become not just a Hellrider— but a Hellrider Commander, while being a tiefling, meant that he would've grown into a stubborn man. (See this post [alt] by @ohsayit)

Was so deeply religious and devoutly pious that he became a paladin. (More on this in part 2)

Internalized the impossible standards he was held to.

Developed a guilt complex (my "grew up Catholic" is showing)

Viewed any mistake he made as a personal moral failure, and as an indication of his inherent evil nature. (Hello again, Catholicism)

Would be hyperaware of how he's perceived by others.

Would learn how to read people's true intentions/ motivations.

Learned to vigilantly monitor, and strictly control his facial expressions and body language. (Is my autistic masking showing?)

Learned how to show deference to others through body language.

Leaned how to make himself appear smaller and less threatening.

Figured out how smile and laugh without showing his teeth.

Mastered the awkward and tight-lipped polite smile.

Figured out how to intelligibly speak with a tight jaw and lips so that his teeth wouldn't be seen by others while he spoke.

Developed self worth/ self esteem issues. Even other tieflings would've looked at him with suspicion and maybe even disgust.

That's it for part 1, here's another link to (Part 2) Elturel's history and culture, the Hellriders, and Zevlor's paladins oath. (Part 2.5)

and the other parts,

A deep dive into Zevlor's devotion series (master list)

#zevlor #zevlor bg3 #bg3 zevlor #zevlovers #zevlor nation #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 lore #bg3 headcanons #baldur's gate 3 headcanons #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #tieflings #dnd lore #zevlore #long post #tiefling anatomy #bg3 meta #bg3 analysis

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katerinaaqu · 5 months ago

Text

The Humanity of Odysseus: Fear, Pity and Honor (an analysis based on Sophocles's "Ajax")

This analysis has been suggested/requested by my amazing friend @artsofmetamoor with whom we are dealing with various of projects, mainly W.I.T.C.H high fantasy related material! Please visit her profile and check her amazing art!

So as you see from various accounts and much more my recent analysis in regards to whether Odysseus is someone without actual essence of right or wrong, we have one of the few cases in which we have a more complicated Odysseus rather than the usual anti-hero figure we have in post-homeric tradition. Sophocles in his tragedy "Ajax" tells the story of Telamonian Aias, how he lost his sanity when he became furious that the armor of Achilles was not given to him. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that Odysseus opens and closes the tragedy by being in both the first and the last scene. In the first scene we have one of the most hilarious (and daresay extremely modern even for today's standards) dialog between Athena and himself. Athena has just explained to Odysseus what happened to Aias and then proceeds to call him, earning this HILARIOUS reaction by Odysseus!

Odysseus: What are you doing, Athena?! Don't call him to come out! Athena: Easy there! (Lit: Hold up, or Keep your posture), are you taken over by cowardice? Odysseus: Don't, by gods! If you please, let him stay inside! Athena: What's the matter? Isn't he the same man he was? Odysseus: A man who was an enemy, especially now

(Translation by me)

Okay, other than the fact we have the absolutely HILARIOUS moment of Athena going in a "What are you? Chicken?" mode with Odysseus (which has me laughing to this day!) we also have an increasingly panicking Odysseus! From the moment he hears Athena go "Hey, Ajax!" from outside you can almost see him jumping out of his skin! We even have him go increasingly more panicked when he says "By gods, don't!" like the last thing he wants is to come face to face with a 2m tall behemoth of a man who not only has a personal grudge against him but also now he is mad and murderous. And his anxiety is also shown by some low-key homor he does even when Athena talks again:

Athena: Certainly isn't it the sweetest taunt, the taunt of one's enemy? Odysseus: For me is enough that he stays inside his chambers! Athena: Are you afraid to see the madman? Odysseus: I wouldn't be so terrfied of him if he were sane (Lit: If he were in fact, sane, I would lift my fear) Athena: But now he won't see you being present near Odysseus: How? If he sees with his own eyes?

(Translation by me)

Okay we have once more Athena being cheeky (like a very interesting trope) basically sayng "why? don't you want to laugh at your enemy?" and Odysseus answering with equal humor in a "thanks but no thanks!" manner! Like "nah I'll pass!" but I find it also interesting how honestly Odysseus speaks with Athena. If other people call him coward he retaliates and in fact most of the time he is prudent but now he is truly terrified and he is not afraid to admit that to Athena who, let's face it, knows his soul. He is so afraid to the point of forgetting that gods can do stuff humans find impossible and he even asks her how she would achieve that Aias won't see him. He doesn't ask if she will protect him. He asks HOW she'll do it! XD

Athena: I will darken his eyes so he won't see clearly Odysseus: Indeed, everything is possible when the gods are acting Athena: Then, be silent now and stay where you are! Odysseus: I'll stay: even if I'd rather be anywhere but here!

(Translation by me)

Honestly...I love this to no ends! Odysseus finding some composture in a "Oh! Right!" mode as he remembers it's Athena we are talking about, Athena basically be like "Shut up and stay still!" mode as if she talks to a dog and Odysseus whom I can so imagine mumbling that last part to himself is just an amazingly human roller coaster for Odysseus who even if he has the wits that all people would wish to have, he still is blocked by fear like everyone else. And then we have another amazing detail and scene here;

Aias comes out in all his mad glory, covered in blood of the sheep he killed and holding a bloody whip. Athena asks him questions and Aias answers how he ellegedly killed the greeks and how he captured Odysseus in his tent! He then proceeds speaking on the gruesome death he has in store for his rival, that he wil whip him to death (And again cheeky Athena inserting some dark humor like "Don't hit the poor man too hard!") She then turns to Odysseus as if expecting praise! She basically asks him "Well? What do you think of the power of the gods?"

And how does Odysseus respond?

Odysseus: Well, I don't know of anyone: however I pity him, the poor man, even if he is an enemy, for he is taken over by this devastating delusion. Neither do I think myself better than this purpose; I can see that we who live are nothing more than deaf shadows.

(Translation by me)

Not only does he recover from the shock and fear even after he heard all the horrendous things mad Aias wants to do to him but he now pities Aias; He knows he used to be a powerful dignified king who is now reduced to a shadow of himself in madness and he pities his condition but he also PUTS HIMSELF IN HIS SHOES! He sees that he as well can easily become him! He admits that he doesn't feel any better than him, that he is also weak before the gods and he even speaks on how humans basically are pointless, temporary existences on earth compared to the immortals.

Athena even closes the scenes with a threat. She threats Odysseus never to be blasphemous to the gods because the gods can do this and much more to a man. In a way we also have a foreshadowing or an "easter egg" of the Odyssey here. In a way that threat or warning coming out of Athena coming in place.

However his humanity for his elleged enemy doesn't stop there for later he is the only one of the offended party of greeks to actually insist upon allowing Aias to be buried with honor. I will not speak on the moments where he says some of the most iconic things like "I hated him when it was honorable to hate him" which was done by another tumblr creator @ilions-end here

The clip that this analysis talks about is not his unparalleled diplomatic nature but rather the humaity that we analize here. And some of the phrases he uses to put himself in Aias's shoes as well as the people who love him and want to see him get honors after death. One of the phrases he uses, which seems to reflect to the words he gives to his wetnurse Euryclea (you can see in my other analysis) in which basically he advises her not to take pleasure upon the face of death. Sophocles seems to place a similar word to his mouth here with:

Odysseus: Do not rejoice, Son of Atreus, to take benefit from something not good

(Translation by me)

Basically Odysseus here shows once more the other side of his; the need to be just to others. He advises Agamemnon that he should never be happy by taking revenge with an unholy act such as leaving someone without a decent funeral. Despite the fact that in Iliad for example in the heat of battle he often threatened to leave someone without a funeral, in reality here in a calm environment he realzes that one must be just before the gods. Despite the fact that Aias threatened to do unspeacable things to him, he seems to recognize not only his pain and misery but also the nobility of his spirit to which he feels sorry to see derranged like that. Odysseus KNOWS it is not noble or right to leave someone yet alone such an honorable man without a funeral and he knows the consequences of that act would anger the gods and make them become something they ellegedly should be looking down upon.

Odysseus advises against feeling joy with such type of revenge.

Of course one can argue that it would be for his own personal benefit as well to do some last act of kindness to the man that felt wronged by the decision to hand the arms of Achilles to him (and depending on the source seems that the anger was quite righteous). However it seems to me that it is his genuine drive to do it right at least in the end, in a way showcasing one more time the complexity of character in Odysseus; a man who often makes severe mistakes or even brings controversy to the table but at the same time he has a large fose of humanity inside him and a strong will to make things right

Quite frankly Sophocles is ranking as one of my favorite post-homeric sources for Odysseus's persona and inspiration apart from my top favorite Homeric version exactly for this reason. Because we can experience the many different human emotions of this character called Odysseus of Ithaca! In this one play we see Odysseus freeze in fear even his mind having trouble to work for a second in his worry, then he experiences pity and compassion for the man that had murderous intentions towards him and finally the final tribute to that said man; having surpassed all the previous carousel of emotions he experienced and finally seeing clearly what is the right decision to make.

But what do you guys think? Let me know! ^_^

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crazerk · 6 months ago

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This demo has lived rent free in my brain for the last 24 hours bestie !!! All the origins are so fun! I’m particularly drawn to the noble tho 👀And as for a basic question: can we please get some fun facts about the ROs ? TY <333

This comment made my day! I’m glad these characters aren’t tormenting only me now lol.

Fun facts under the cut!

Kaz

As a child he pretended to be afraid of the dark for years because his mother would comfort him with stories from her homeland. She still thinks he is and asks the servants to keep some candles burning at night, even though they annoy him. He considers this karma for the lies.

He has a massive sweet tooth. He might project the image of a stoic, serious emperor but that man loves sweets. He doesn’t indulge too often in public though. He’d rather sneak into the kitchens at night and once frightened a poor cook half to death when he stumbled upon his sovereign eating honey straight from a jar at like 2 am.

He’s a remarkable artist. He draws a lot. Really into architecture too.

He fidgets with his signet ring when he’s nervous. He does this unconsciously most of the time, and those who aren’t familiar with his mannerisms might assume he’s just deep in thought. But really his mind is spamming the panic button.

I’m not sure if this is a “fun” fact but he enjoys bloodsport. His father’s reign was criticized for this and his friendship with Fang has given him a different perspective on how slaves in the fighting pits are treated so he’s distanced himself from it. But it bothers him a bit, how much like his father he can be.

Fang

He has talent for juggling and often uses it to entertain children in the marketplace.

He’s quite the pirate fanboy. He wants to be a pirate so bad and dreams of owning a ship and just sailing around the world someday. Fang once won a drinking contest against a notorious pirate captain, earning him a place on the crew if he ever felt inclined. Fang thinks about that offer everyday.

He learned how to read and write from his master and has a hidden stash of romantic poetry that he's written over the years, inspired by his various crushes and lovers. He's never shared these poems with anyone, as he fears they might ruin his roguish reputation.

He doesn’t have a home. He has enough gold stockpiled from his fighting days to live comfortably and Khazunef has made it clear that he’s welcome at the palace but he prefers to just… wander around. He claims it’s because he likes not knowing where he’ll end up, and that every day is a new adventure. But really it’s because when he thinks of home he remembers a time long ago when he was a boy, before the raiders, before the slavery and before the fighting, when his mother would cradle him by a warm hearth and sing a lullaby. He can’t recreate that feeling. He’s terrified even trying to.

Persa

She loves to play pranks. Her favorite involves sneaking into rooms while their occupants are away and rearranging their furniture just slightly, enough to make them question their own sanity when they return.

She has a photographic memory, which comes in handy for her favorite pastime: gambling. Do not under any circumstances challenge her to any games of chance, as she can easily remember cards played or patterns in a game. Several guards have lost months wages in this manner.

Shes the definition of having a green thumb. She has a fondness for winter roses, a flower that grows in the snowy peaks of her native land. She managed to cultivate them in the desert. Persa tends a small garden of these roses in the palace as a reminder of home. She’s skilled herbalist and often disappears into the palace gardens for hours at a time, gathering plants and herbs for her potions and remedies.

Persa is a gifted singer, but she only sings when she thinks no one is listening. Her voice is hauntingly beautiful, and it's said that even the birds fall silent to listen it. Something she finds herself humming tunes of the songs from her home, but she can never quite remember the words.

Ignasia

She absolutely detests spicy foods. Yes she knows, it’s ironic that a fire priestess can’t stand the heat. You can only make that joke once. Do it again and she might curse you.

Despite her serious demeanor, Ignasia has a wicked sense of humor. She loves to tell jokes with a straight face, leaving others unsure whether to laugh or not.

She has a talent for mimicry and can do impressions of almost anyone including fellow priestess, imperial courtiers and advisors. She won’t confirm or deny if she’s used this skill for dubious purposes.

She pretends leaving her noble family behind to become a priestess was a great sacrifice. In truth it was her greatest pleasure.

Sometimes, she tells people that she sees things in the flames that aren’t there. She tells herself it’s for the greater good. To give hope to the man who asked if his daughter’s sickness was fatal, to prevent a young lad who asked if the gods will protect him if he sought out his sister’s murderer from getting killed or simply because the truth was too heavy. She tells herself it’s for the best, and the flames wouldn’t mind. Right?

#cotgr #asks #answered #ROs #Fang #Kaz #Persa #Ignasia

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typewritingyip · 1 month ago

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The Arcturus Missions

Part Three - The Final Frontier

Part Two

———

People or more specifically organics were not in mind when space bridge technology was originally designed on Cybertron at the beginning of the Golden Age. It would have its tweaks done by other societies later, but most of the bridges opened by Cybertronian’s were not made for organics to go through safely. Groups that stole cybertronian technology didn’t realize that for a rather long time and some still don’t, at least according to the reports. Some simply just don’t care, so long as they are in a certified space craft than that’s safe enough to get through the bridge without much hassle.

Opening bridges in the most random parts of space had become a custom of different species, sometimes to dump things they no longer desired or to hide things from authorities, it was the easy way the intergalactic underworld operated since they left limited traces throughout the vast universe. No one was hurting anyone, most people didn’t go to the Orion Sector, there wasn’t much there other than a handful os uninhabitable planets for the most part. Or unintelligent life forms that still needed to evolve, the perfect place to dump space junk or hide your treasures. If stuff came back through the bridge, it wasn’t their responsibility.

—

Each space shuttle was named after something iconic, usually a ship or command module from the Apollo era. The shuttle carrying the Mech suits was specially crafted for this purpose by Mecha, with assistance from NASA, the Odyssey was titled after the Apollo 13 command module that never reached the lunar surface. It defied the odds assigned to it. The pilots weren’t sure if it was meant to be hopeful or show their fate, but it was titled that non-the-less. The Arcturus missions were projected to use three shuttles and two rockets, the second shuttle was already under construction even before the Odyssey had been moved out of Palmdale. The Iliad and the third thought to be called The Aeneid, but the jury was still out. Supposedly the boss had fallen in love with the thought of the trilogy, even if it abandoned previous precedent, he would leave it up to NASA to cover the change. Usually, space shuttles were built with the capability to return to Earth, landing on a typical runway of sorts from orbit, though Mecha doubted that these three shuttles would be returning anytime soon.

Thirteen days, twenty two hours, and thirty six minutes had passed since they left Earth. It certainly already felt like longer, well over a million miles from home, and their differences shining almost brighter than the sun. The locks to their suits were still currently active, as it was trying to conserve energy for the shuttle as they hurdled through space. So, the pilots were confined to the main bay and cockpit, unable to access their usual and more comfortable spaces. Footage had been sent back to Earth multiple times, but at the moment the cameras were not rolling and Hound was thankful for that, as the twins were acting up, starting to go a little stir crazy in the confined space. They were all back in the main bay, enjoying the artificial gravity, though that meant that the twins could be at each other’s throats with equal footing.

“Nothing is happening and nothing has been happening for almost two weeks, so please, for all our sanity turn off your ‘kicking-butt’ playlist!” Sunstreaker was practically shrieking, pulling at his hair, which Hound thought would be incredibly painful, “I don’t have much other music bro, so just chill. If you and the old men didn’t have such shitty taste, I wouldn’t play just this when it’s my turn to play music.” Sideswipe shoved his brother while gesturing to the MP3 player in his hand, “They are children.” Breakdown had his face leaning against his fist, clearly bored himself as he played solitaire. Nodding slightly, Hound moves over to the airlock back into the cockpit, really not interested in whatever argument they were about to get into; “Just pick something else to listen to! For all our sanity!” They continued to argue while Sideswipe turned the music louder. Hound shutting the door behind himself for a blissful moment of quiet before going through the routine of adjusting to non-gravity, entering the cockpit.

He knew they’d be arriving at Jazz’s last coordinates soon, he for one figured the guy had crashed into some space debris so there wouldn’t be much there, but it was something to report at least. That there was nothing there. Moving up to his seat, he straps in loosely, checking through the system for any messages from Earth, at their ever expanding delay. Sighing slowly, he sits back the best he can and stares into the emptiness; there really wasn’t any way to prepare someone for how much nothing there was out here. The dash lights up briefly, so he presses the receiving button, “This is the front.” Hound sounded tired, which in all honesty, he was. It was hard to sleep the last two weeks, just anticipating today, “Uh, Hound, the airlocks to our suits have deactivated. This part of the plan?” Breakdown sounded outright anxious and the twins were yelling obnoxiously in the background, “Um, yeah, I think so. We were supposed to gain access to them once we got to Jazz’s last coordinates, just in case any kind of recovery could be made.” Even though it had now been years since his disappearance, “Are you sure?” There was something else in his tone other than an anxious tilt, it was more than anxiety and bleeding into worry; “Yeah, but you should all come up here and get strapped in, I don’t want us to get thrown about in whatever Jazz crashed into.” Hound turns off the connection and sighs, checking his watch, Thirteen days, twenty three hours, and five minutes since they left Earth.

Slowly, the others made their way back into the main capsule. Though the twins had both gone through the tubes to their mechs, only to discover they hadn’t gained full access yet. They were still bickering of course, but it had quieted down when Breakdown pulled communications back up with Earth. It was hard, to sit in the dark and quiet space, just waiting to see if there was anything out here of their fallen friend. For the moment, with the movement of everything in the last five years, there was nothing in site other than distant Mars. They all fell silent as the minutes ticked by to the two week mark, to the very moment that Jazz had gone missing. Five years to the moment, Hound cues up the microphone, “Command there is nothing out here for the moment, next report, five minutes.” Sunstreaker sighs slowly, loosening his hold on his seat, “I didn’t know what to expect.” Nodding, Sideswipe clears his throat, “Maybe some aliens but not nothing.” They fell quiet as the seconds ticked by, before the very moment Jazz officially went off radar hit. Breakdown gulp, Hound swore quiet, Sunstreaker held his breath, and Sideswipe clutched at a chain around his neck.

—

They all stared at nothing.

Five minutes till next report, in five minutes they’d send another report to Earth that would have a twenty minute turn around. Their current report hadn’t even reached Mecha command, let alone NASA. They were entirely alone out here so if anything did go wrong, it was just them and their locked mechs.

The locks disengaged distantly as a precaution set on a fixed timer.

Five minutes could feel like forever while they waited, it was the anticipation of it all, right?

—

Every instrument in the shuttle flashed bright as they hit, something. The front window lighting up a bright, green? Before they were re-introduced to a dense gravity, slamming into the base of their seats; “Everyone to your suits, now!” Hound was tearing off his seatbelt and getting to his feet as quickly as he could. Stumbling over the shift in gravitational pull. Breakdown was trying to get the shuttle operational system back online. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe stumble out of their seats and throw themselves at the airlock, tugging on it the best they can.

“It’s stuck!” Sideswipe tugs at the emergency handle, Sunstreaker joining in to try to get it open. “Move!” Hound grabs the emergency handle and pulls as hard as he can, getting it to move just enough for them to slip through. Sideswipe was the first one through the door, pulling Hound through next and taking off towards the suits.

The entire shuttle shock violently, the metal heating up rapidly, wherever they were, it seemed they were entering an atmosphere. Sunstreaker fell across the cargo bay hold, sliding towards his suit’s tunnel, “Shit!” He crashed into one of the tables as the whole shuttle tilted.

Hound was the first through his tunnel and into his now unlocked mech, climbing into the piloting chamber while pulling off the top half of his spacesuit. Assisting suit folded in the command chair, system still shut down, he pulls himself into the command seat, “Come on, we’ve gotta survive whatever this is, yeah?” He pulls the visor on first and boots up the suit.

Comms were one of the first things to come online, Sideswipe coming online at the same time as Breakdown was reporting from the shuttle. Everything was heating up as they were dragged towards the surface of somewhere.

“How the hell did we go from being in the middle of no where to being dragged to the surface of a planetoid?” Sunstreaker shrieks as he too comes online, “I have no idea but get ready to brace for impact, alright? We don’t know where we are or how we got here, but we’ve got to focus on landing safely. One of you is going to deploy with me and the other is going to help Breakdown land the shuttle.” Hound was quick to finish his set up in the suit and disconnect from the shuttle, shifting into awareness like the suit was a second skin.

“I call it!” Sunstreaker was quick to deploy too, still setting up his suit though, “Jerk! Alright Breakdown, I’m with you.” His own mech shifting about to help guide the shuttle into not only a more gentle landing but to protect Breakdown’s own suit. If they lost a suit out here they would never stand a chance against the alien’s if there were more than what attacked in the battle of the Atlantic. If they really were going to get to the place where they were originating from, they’d need all four suits operating at their peak capacity.

Hound and Sunstreaker were in a free fall, integrating completely with the system, adjusting their assistance suits on or over their space suits quickly while adjusting the systems to the shift in gravity.

When you were in a suit, it wasn’t like you were actually in a suit, it was as if you became a bigger metal version of yourself. Every pilot would talk about feeling the most themselves when in their suit, feeling at home, but being at home wasn’t quiet the right description, it was like feeling at home in your own skin for the first time. Added joints or an advanced vision, none of that took away from the feeling of being a bigger version of yourself. It was natural, it was just who you were once you were found compatible with the technology.

It was hot, the decent towards the surface. They were all hurdling towards the planet with no idea of where they were, how they got there, or how they’d get back to their planned mission route.

———

A/N:

Again, lol. Alright! Part three done, part four anyone? It’s funny cause I started to write this with of course keferon’s inspo for the Mecha AU, but my sister and I talk about their art and AU’s all the time. So this was at first me writing down our ideas and I’ve just… expanded.

I desperately wanted to include my OC originally, but decided against it cause ew. If they pop up it will be like, a bit piece for myself, but I’m still undecided yet.

Thank you for reading it and I hope you continue to enjoy it!

Also tagging those who re-blogged it so they can find the next part.

@lunarlei68 @whirlywhirlygig @loop-hole-319 @pixill-jesters-reblogs @pixillandjester

Also would love @keferon to see it but who knows, I know everyone be blowing up their blog with their amazing writing and art too.

#transformers #jazz #hound #breakdown #sunstreaker #sideswipe #tf mecha universe #maccadam #the Arcturus missions

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