#enm problems

[polyamorousmood]

"polyamory is just avoiding commitment"

Mad I'm committed to three people and thereby 3x better at commitment than you are, huh?

[chaosmushroomsushi]

being on the aroacespec is so weird cause like yes I crave your hands on my skin and I want you to crave it too

but also I crave you, in general. I crave your intelligence, your passion. I crave being curled up into you being held while we discuss theoretical situations about media we enjoy

like how do you think the physics of air bending works? or do you think x character would enjoy doing x activity. or hey I thought of this AU let's discuss it

I crave your personality above all else and that's why I crave your touch. and I just want someone to crave the same about me. but that's not how, most people work let alone allos

not that I wouldn't be interested in an aroace×aroace relationship it's more I find it more difficult for our sexual interests and drives to align, I'd happily have such a relationship as long as everyone's needs are met (whether that's through monogamy or ENM doesn't matter to me)

but like why is it too much to ask for someone to crave my soul along with my body? I want you to want my body but I want that to come secondary to my soul and I don't know why that's really too much to ask

[raspberryconverse]

So I'm at the grocery store with Beau #1 and I realize we're both wearing our wedding rings, so it looks like we're married to each other, but we're not 🤣

[figs-and-cigs]

This is going to sound bleak.

But I had to accept the fact that there is no guarantee that a relationship will last forever. Relationships end for all kinds of reasons, and there isn't exactly a cure-all safe guard for that. The way to deal with that painful realization is recognizing how we actively choose to have a relationship with each other. Every day it's a conscious choice to be together, grow together, and intertwine our lives and futures together.

Moving on to the topic of polyamory - my advice is always to date separately. Triads are like poly on hard mode. It's not just one relationship, but four. (AB, AC, BC, and ABC). And jumping into that dynamic, when the individual relationships (AB, AC, and BC) aren't established is a recipe for disaster, inequality, mistrust etc. Integrating a new partner into several aspects of our lives too soon creates instability. Integrating a relationship into an already established relationship - changes all of those relationships.

Too often an established couple feels that dating together will protect them from the perceived problems of polyamory. "I won't be jealous if we share." "I don't have be afraid of losing my partner if we do everything together." "I won't worry about what they're doing if they're doing it with me." "I won't deal with feelings of comparison if my partner and I are heirachial and add a third - either of us can decided to start or end the relationship if it becomes too much." Dating together won't prevent these problems - I'd argue it amplifies them, and it creates unfairness for the third. What if you and the third have a falling out? Will you force your partner and the third to also end their relationship? Even if they love each other? Putting your partner into a situation where they have to choose is a terrible thing to do.

Most of the long term, healthy, poly people - including ones that start with/have a primary partner - date separately.

While everyone may define polyamory different for themselves - I see it as a relationship structure in which I can experience love with multiple people and each of these relationships are unique and individual to each other. That also meant recognizing my primary partner (my husband) gets to have these unique individual experiences with other people as well. Even if we did date the same person - his relationship with them would be separate and different from my relationship with them.

I'd suggest deciding what polyamory would mean to you. What about polyamory appeals to you? What are you looking to experience from it?

If the thought is, "it's something fun my partner and I can do together." I'd suggest defining "fun". Is it about sex, emotional intimacy, and/or actual relationship experiences? There are other forms of Ethical Non-Monogamy, such as open, swinging, or platonic friendships to consider.

The fear of my husband leaving me for someone else essentially evaporated over time. Our relationship is strong and stable on its own, and that doesn't change when we're dating other people.

There's always the small possibility one of us will find someone else who aligns with our needs, desires, life goals "better". That doesn't necessarily mean our relationship will end, it could just mean the primary relationship changes. There's also always the small possibility our relationship could end for other reasons.

The reality is we actively choose our relationships until that choice doesn't work anymore. That's true for all relationships.

poly relationships

Ive struggled with this for a while now, I used to be in a poly relationship with someone who has DID and I also ended up getting another outside partner who also has DID, my first partner left me for the second partner (wild as fuck huh?) but idk, sometimes I think I could do a third and then I get anxious about my currently girlfriend leaving me for the third person. does anyone who's poly have any advice?

[poly-problems]

Poly Problem: can't always have your (qt) pi and eat it, too.

NYC lover: 'On March 14, do you wanna wake up, fuck, spend the day at that bathhouse spa that overlooks manhattan, then omakase after?'

Philly lover: 'Hey, this coming March 13-17, wanna join me and bae for a week of kinky sex, massages, homemade dumplings, and Peaky Blinders marathon?'

DC lover: 'Wanna spend March 13-16 hanging out with me and a cute doggo? While we're at it, we could endeavor to find the porn that most inspires us to stage a gloriously smutty photoshoot and subsequently, a slow, indulgent fuck. Your company is welcome/desired.'

Sometimes, no amount of gCal can save you...

jk, spoke too soon — 24h later, DC lover found a #PolySolution: proactive scheduling + self-effacing radical honesty:

Beware the ides of

March's madness. Bask instead

in April showers. 💦

[drdemonprince]

ENM/Poly circles explicitly discourage real talk around jealousy, and practical considerations around nonmonog in ways that routinely exclude and excise POC and disabled people.

ENM/Poly expects everyone involved to act as though “love” is the reason for every relationship choice. Cliche #1: love isn’t finite. Which… sure. Maybe love isn’t finite, but attention and time sure are— and those are at a premium.

Cliche #2: Love is all you need/love is what makes a family. I am familiar with criticism of this from a family abolition, anticapitalist standpoint, but I have seen this be uncritically repeated by ENM/Poly people. It’s not true that love is what makes a relationship work or not work. It’s also about dumb shit, like geographical proximity and practicality. Good luck being ENM if you can’t regularly host because you have roommates or live at home. Good luck being the gold standard of ENM (out to everyone, including family and maybe even the workplace!) if you are any kind of marginalized. Love is simply not enough. There’s real world shit to consider.

Most ENM/Poly people are white gen x’ers and older millenials for a reason. It’s a framework that works awesome if you have abundant spare space, disposable income to blow, and free time. Plus most ENM/Poly people are heavily in therapy, and just have a fuckton of time to deal with their various baggages… or at least like to posture as though they are doing those things.

Non monog can be liberatory— disabled polycules caring for one another. QPRs! Multiparent households! But ENM/Poly is very lodged in a liberal, hyper-independent Super Good Boundaries Thank You Very Much world of its own, and so most of the “resources” like More Than 2 or Polysecure have hella flaws in that respect.

COME OFF ANON SO I CAN FOLLOW YOU! Because you just said a whole word.

I find "ethical nonmonogamy" and polyamory circles to be viscerally unpleasant and alienating to be in as a crazy, chaotic antipsych person who does not always make choices for carefully therapized, restrained reasons -- and who doesn't believe that most other people do either, no matter how much they claim to.

I don't fuck multiple people to serve some higher purpose; I do it because I'm horny, impulsive, and have a variety of niche fetishes that are really difficult to satisfy.

I didn't choose to be openly nonmonogamous because I nurtured my soul and found that it was abundant with love that I just had to give -- all my relationships already were nonmonogamous at one point or another, either because I cheated or the other person did or both, and I eventually decided to move with my feelings rather than against them, and to stop denying all that is inside me -- all of the hunger and darkness as well as the light.

And I can't say that my nonmonogamy is inherently "ethical" either -- just like my monogamy sure wasn't! I'm a human being, and a crazy one at that, I get jealous, I have emotional blowups, I lash out and fuck other people to make myself feel better or to affirm that I am desired, I make big demands of the people I date, I fail to show up for people consistently, I get hurt, and I hurt others, and I will continually have more to learn. I will also continually have wild animal emotions and triggers, and I won't always deal with them in the way my partner(s) might want me to. I try to avoid hurting other people needlessly, of course, but sometimes your own needs are incompatible with another person's, and hurt is inevitable.

When there is only so much time and attention available in our lives, it's true that somebody's often going to come up short. And ultimately the person that I choose above all others is me. And so, no, I can't say I'm always doing nonmonogamy in some caring yet dispassionate way, or that love is the solution to all problems -- I am driven by passion and need, and sometimes being alive in those ways means getting hurt, or hurting in turn.

I would echo essentially all that you've said. We need time and resources and spaces to enjoy privacy with other people, and if you're not some rich work-from-homer, that shit's all in short supply. I hate the sheen of calm positivity that "ENM" and polyamory folks tend to place on everything -- as if no choices they make are fueled ever by bitterness, dislike, resentment, or hell, fucking white hot irrational DESIRE. With how fair and measured so many of them make their polyamory sound, I don't even see what's fun about any of it.

Sometimes you want to upend your whole life because you're so down bad for a person. Sometimes you hate the shit out of your partner's partners and you say and do little manipulative shitty things to convey those feelings, or to try and blow the relationship up. Sometimes the hours just don't add up and somebody gets shafted. Sometimes you make a promise and then you can't follow through, or just don't WANT to anymore because you have changed.

These are real human realities whether we like it or not, and I find it terribly unrealistic AND unsexy to refuse to acknowledge all the darkness and frustration that comes out in any relationship. I think a lot of the ENM/poly crowd that is white and middle class and heavily therapized is so averse to naming anything edgy or prickly in themselves that they make their spaces actively hostile to anybody who openly expresses negative feelings. That means Black & brown people get tone-policed a ton, "mad" people like me get no-true-scotsmanned out of "ethical" nonmonogamy for ever doing anything messily, and all the romance and sexiness of relationships gets sanded down into a Canva-graphic beige blandness of weekly polycule meetings and processing sessions.

In this world of self-optimization, even fucking and loving other people has to be cast as therapuetic -- our desires must justify themselves by somehow making us better, more capable, more controlled people, But fuck that. Sometimes sex or love is worth exploding your whole life over. The ENM/poly crowd says their way of loving makes them more even-keeled but it seems like a kind of death to me.

[enm-enthusiast]

Birthday Buzz

I want to give special thanks to @suitedwestend for helping me develop quite a few of the ideas and erotic turns of this story. Thanks for being such a great source of inspiration, and I hope to strip you naked in-person someday! ;)

Here's a short little ENM story for you all, I wanted to do a few side projects before ultimately returning to my main series, and hey, if this does well I may make it a separate ongoing series. I've always wanted to do a CYOA-style series, and I'd like to think this one would fit that roll, but lmk what you all think, and please, enjoy!

Mark

Mark and Adrian were happily married husbands who were both in their early-thirties, Mark was turning 33 today while Adrian was fast approaching 35 in just a few months. Mark was a tall, muscled bear with a bit of facial hair that he kept neatly groomed, had black hair and bright green eyes. His office clothes always clung on to him tightly because of his big, beefy frame yet he kept himself in good shape, especially his glutes as he had a magnificent bubble butt that sometimes earned him a leering stare or two at the office. Adrian however, was a shorter, lean otter with blonde hair and blue eyes. 

They met in their early twenties at a gay bar and have been inseparable ever since, and got married five years ago, but occasionally they’ll ask a third to join them in the bedroom. That’s just the thing about these two, they’re Kinky with a capital K, into all sorts of scenes. A few in particular that the two had been trying out lately were ENM and Control Toys…

You see, big tough Mark had a shameful little secret…he was a total sub, and was often Adrian’s submissive slave, completely under his husband's control. 

Nowadays, Adrian had been ‘forcing’ Mark to strip naked outside, even streak across their neighborhood at night sometimes, and sometimes threatened to shave off thick Mark’s body hair. As embarrassed and humiliated he often felt at being so exposed…it gave him such a hard-on, his uncut cock often swinging at full mast between his legs as he streaked. 

This brings us to the couple’s latest adventure, however, because Adrian had bought his husband a remote control vibrator for his birthday today, and made him try it out right before Mark had to leave for work…He was almost late because of how lost he got in the pleasure of Adrian making him beg to make the toy buzz inside his ass.

Even now, at work, the mere memory of it made Mark feel a slight stirring in his crotch, which made his face flush red and he instinctively bowed his head closer to his desk to keep anyone from seeing his embarrassed, yet aroused state. Mark silently cursed however, as there was one problem with doing just that…the toy was still inside of him.

It was off, of course, but Adrian had ordered Mark to keep it inside him all day at work, and that he had better not cum before getting home in just a few hours now, promising to show his husband just how grateful he’d be if he did as he was told. Mark couldn’t help but feel a shiver down his spine as he remembered how his husband had leaned in close to his ear and whispered “good boy” right as he was heading out the door. Mark had almost got on his knees right there and then to beg for Adrians cock in either his mouth or his ass, but he managed to keep it together, after all, he had a party to attend at work.

His party, in fact, for everyone at the office had put together a small celebration for him during the last half hour of work today, and he knew they’d be devastated if he missed a second of it. Mark worked in a small office department, made up mostly of men except for management who were all on vacation for the next three days. 

Mark just had one hour left now, he’d celebrate with the guys at the office then head straight back home to his husband, his cock began to throb to near full hardness in his tight office pants thinking about worshiping his husband's cock, maybe even stripping naked outside again?

Snap out of it! You're not 25 anymore, act like it! Mark said to himself, shaking off his arousal as best he could and finished up his closing paperwork. 

As soon as he was done, he looked towards the office clock and saw that the party started in just a few minutes, and he smiled as he got up. Mark’s cock had finally deflated, though his pants still felt strangely tight, especially around his famous bubble butt, he merely shrugged it off, however, and he strutted towards the main office, fully confident he had everything under control…but did he?

Adrian

Adrian smiled to himself as he knew the party would be starting any minute now, and he looked away from his watch towards the remote of the toy he had made his husband keep inside him as he left for work this morning. Adrian knew and understood his husband often more than Mark did, and suspected, no he knew that Mark secretly enjoyed it whenever Adrian made him strip outside, or rather made him expose himself publicly. Thus, as he prepared to hit the switch for the remote, Adrian knew that his hubby would get his biggest thrill yet as he attempted to deal with the embarrassment of having a vibrating butt plug make him hard in front of his entire office!

Adrian’s own 6-inch penis began to harden in his pants at his husband's ordeal, and his smile never left his face as he turned on the remote, waited for it to connect to it over WiFi, and once the light turned green he pondered which setting to start at…

The remote had three settings: Low, Medium, and High. Adrian had only used the Medium setting this morning and it made Mark near delirious with how good it felt inside him…so he thought why not start small? his fingers didn’t hesitate to hit the Low setting button, and eagerly awaited his husbands return with the results.

Mark

Mark had been chatting with his office buddies, Jake and Bobby, when he nearly lurched over as he felt a familiar buzz coming from…

Oh no.

The buzzing didn’t stop either, it started as a low hum that was now rising to a sensual buzz, and it took everything Mark had to not moan as he felt his hole contract around the plug. His face began to redden and blood was flowing elsewhere too and Mark panicked as he could feel his cock hardening quickly.

“Hey Mark, everything okay?” Jake asked.

“Yeah, you were talking about you and Adrian possibly adopting kids in a few years, then suddenly you looked like you just saw your parents having sex or something” Bobby said.

Jake and Bobby were around the same age as Mark, and had known them since his freshman year in college, entering this office together, they were his best buds. As far as Mark knew, Jake was straight, but Bobby he knew was bi, they had a brief altercation in senior year when they were both drunk, and Bobby had sucked Mark’s cock, and Mark had even fucked Bobby. Neither of them spoke of that night again, yet Bobby still desired Mark from time to time, but kept it to himself because he knew Mark was married. If only he knew the opportunities before him…

“Oh…ummm. Yes! Yes i'm fine, I’m perfectly fine” Mark said, fumbling over his words as he used his hands to steady himself between two cubicles, as the buzzing from the toy continued to torment and pleasure him. He shifted his hips to try and hide his now raging hard-on, which was stretching his already tight pants to the limit. Mark should have asked his husband for some new office pants, but he liked how the tight clothing showed off his bubble butt…

He was certainly paying for it now, Mark thought to himself as his friends shared a concerned glance between each other.

“Are you sure you're okay man? I’ve never seen you like this before, if you're not feeling well we can take you home, so come on, just tell us what’s wrong” Bobby said. Mark’s friend was an average man who often went to the gym with his buddies, and was a tad darker with a caramel skin tone than the others yet had a defined physique, and was uncut just like Mark was. He had brown hair and hazel eyes, which were currently furrowed underneath his brow as he started worriedly at his friend.

“Guys, I’m telling you, I’m fine, okay?” Mark said, managing a steady, confident tone with a hint of finality to it that seemed to satisfy them…for now.

Meanwhile, Mark glanced at the clock and he still had another 15 minutes before he could leave, he downed the rest of his drink in one gulp and tried to compose himself as best he could. He could almost curse his husband for turning on the plug while Mark was at work, but…he couldn’t deny the pleasure and thrill he was getting from it. He was being toyed with like this, at his husband’s mercy…and no one had a clue, it made his dick throb even more and he stifled a groan as the pants were becoming unbearably tight.

He continued to chat with his friends and mingled with a few of the other guys from the office, they even brought out a small cake that they had bought for him, the plug was buzzing inside Mark the entire time they were singing the “Happy Birthday” song, and when he blew out the candles. He told no one what his wish was. (You’ll find out later ;)  ).

Once they had finished eating their slices of cake, with only 10 minutes left, things were about to get much worse for poor Mark, as Adrian back home decided it was time to kick things up a notch, and hit the Medium Setting button on the remote.

Just then, Mark felt the plug inside his ass go from a low buzz to something that made him cry out with a loud “Ohhhhh” and he covered his mouth to try and stop himself but it was too late, he exchanged glances with both Jake and Bobby who were staring at him with abject confusion now.

Mark couldn’t find the words, he wanted to fall to his knees, strip off his tight pants, and make himself cum despite the presence of his best friends, the thought of it turned him on a little in fact..he cast his head down in absolute shame as he felt so utterly humiliated that he was being reduced to a wobbling, moaning mess all because of a little toy.

“Mark, seriously, you’ve been acting strange tonight, I’m starting to think you’re not telling us something, I know that look in your eyes, you’ve always been such a bad liar, so come on, spill it” Bobby said in a firm tone, and he said it so confidently that it turned Mark on a little as it reminded him of the way his husband often got him to spill whatever was bothering him.

As Mark tried to open his mouth and answer with a simple need to go to the bathroom, Adrian suddenly switched the plug up to its highest setting, while Mark had been attempting to pull out his phone and text his husband, to beg him to stop. The sudden jolt he felt as the toy's vibration tripled in intensity made Mark whimper and his cock was harder than it had ever been, as he dropped his phone, which slid between his legs and landed just a few feet behind him.

Jake and Bobby stared in disbelief at the display, and as Mark turned around and began to bend over to reach his phone, bending his knees slightly so his tall frame could reach the floor. Mark bit his lip to keep himself from constantly moaning, and swore he could hear the plug vibrating in his ass now. He was so distracted by the plug and his phone that he momentarily forgot how tight his pants were, and didn’t realize until it was too late that the fabric was giving way, it was too much, and he didn’t hear the little rips and tears right at the seat of his pants. As soon as he fully bent himself over Mark’s face went white as he heard and felt a resounding:

RIIIIIIIIIPPPPP

The back seat of his pants ripped open, and felt the open air of the office on his bare ass as he had poorly chosen to wear his bright pink jockstrap. Mark was momentarily frozen until he realized that Jake and Bobby were getting a full view of his accidental exposure.  What was worse was that his jockstrap pouch was soft and silky, which made his dick feel that much more sensitive as it hardened in his pants. Once it was fully hard, however, his cock had practically pushed the material away, which made him feel like he was practically commando.

Thus, he felt the cold office air hitting his balls dangling between his legs, his cock too was swinging proudly which only heightened Mark’s humiliation.

As soon as he shook off his initial shock, Mark covered up his exposed bubble butt with one hand and stood right back up, his phone in hand, and slowly turned around. His face was crimson red as he faced his friends, who were staring at him with their mouths hanging open in complete shock, thought it seemed Jake found it a little amusing as he had a slight smirk on his face, but Bobby had a look of something else in his eyes, something Mark didn’t notice as he was too preoccupied with everything going on all at once, it was too much, he was so aroused…he needed to cum.

“I ummm…I need to go” Mark said before quickly running off towards the office bathrooms, and he didn’t even notice that there was only 1 minute left on the clock.

Mark ran, his hand still covering his exposed ass, and quickly reached the men's bathrooms and threw himself into the nearest open stall and locked himself in. Mark had never felt more embarrassed in his life, and he whipped out his phone to text his husband what had happened…

*Wow, you ripped your pants? Better take em off then*

Mark stared at the words Adrian had texted back for a few seconds before processing them fully. The plug was still vibrating but it went back down to Medium setting after Adrian had seen his text. 

*Are you insane?!* Mark replied.

*Well, the way I see it, you can either walk out with a hole in your pants, or you can be a good boy and take them off…now* Adrian said.

Mark didn’t think it was a good idea, but…they were ripped. He pondered what to do as Bobby quietly entered the bathroom…He was intrigued as he had seen quite clearly what Mark had inside him when his pants had ripped, and had guessed that that was probably why he had been acting so strange, and he was eager to try and see more, so he made up an excuse to Jake that he was going to check on Mark while the others cleaned up and left. Bobby quietly crept up towards the stall, taking out his phone and setting his camera up to film in the crack between the stall door. He wanted to save this as potential jerk-off material for later…his dick hardened as he saw Mark inside, his heart thundered in his chest as his friend’s hands fumbled towards his belt.

Mark was too distracted to notice Bobby secretly filming him, the toy was still driving him crazy and he bit his lip again to try and suppress his moans even as his knees felt weak and his cock was eager for release. Mark continued to remove his pants, his hands unbuttoning the top and slowly lowering the zipper…he hesitated for a brief moment before he let them fall and pool around his legs, exposing his jockstrap, and Bobby had to cover his mouth as he finally saw Mark’s exposed cock and balls, not to mention his delicious looking bubble butt…

Mark pulled down his underwear too, slowly pulling his feet out from between them which officially left him half-naked…he wanted so badly to cum but he had to obey his husband…didn’t he? 

Maybe he could just stroke himself a little, relieve some of the pressure, no harm in that, right? God the toy felt so good inside him, he NEEDED this. He positively whimpered and moaned as he slowly wrapped a hand around his thick, pulsing shaft and started to slowly stroke himself. Bobby watched intently, his phone recording everything and his dick was fully hard in his pants as he watched his best friend jerk off.

Suddenly, Bobby looked down at Mark’s discarded clothes, and a wicked idea popped into his head, and he smirked as he reached underneath the stall and grabbed Mark’s ripped pants, jockstrap, even his shoes and socks. Mark didn’t seem to notice, his eyes were closed as he became lost in the pleasure, he was already getting close, he needed to stop.

But he couldn’t, it felt too good, he needed to cum, and he needed to cum now, all thoughts of Adrian’s command were muffled between his desperate need for release and his sheer state of arousal from tonight's events. Luckily for Mark, Bobby decided the time was now as he stopped recording and loudly cleared his throat as he leaned against the bathroom stall door.

“Wow, sounds like a real party in there” Bobby said, smirking to himself as he had hidden Mark’s clothes in the bathroom supply closet.

Mark quickly snapped out of his jerk-off session and covered his crotch with his hands. “B-bobby? What are you doing in here...wait…where are my clothes?!” Bobby said, his voice both full of fear and anger as he knew Bobby had taken them, he felt so embarrassed at how he had failed to notice any of it.

“Oh, don’t worry about them, I hid them somewhere safe, I just thought that considering everything that happened…maybe you’d like to celebrate today by going out in your birthday suit” Bobby said.

“What?! No way Bobby, come on, stop kidding around and just give me my clothes back…please?” Mark said.

“Hmmm, no, I think I prefer you this way, I’m sure Adrian would agree that that thick butt of yours is too magnificent to keep confined in those poor, tight dress pants. I also think you’d enjoy going home fully nude, so you better strip off the shirt and tie soon, before the cleaning guys show up” Bobby said, tauntingly.

Mark was dumbfounded at this turn of events, he could either refuse and he’d be stuck here with a butt plug still going off in his ass, or he could strip fully naked and get out of here now…what kind of choice was that??? Mark thought to himself, but his hands seemed to have a will of their own, as after a moment's hesitation they reached up towards his tie, loosening the knot and unbuttoning the top buttons of his long sleeve dress shirt. Deep down he knew he had no choice…he had to get out of here, he had to get home.

Mark did his best to resist how good the plug felt inside him, and how badly he still wanted to cum, he focused singularly on giving Bobby what he wanted, and he handed over his tie as he began to strip off his shirt, exposing his furry, muscled chest and he refused to meet Bobby’s eyes as he handed over his last item of clothing, leaving him fully naked. His face bled a deep, beet red as Bobby opened the door and whistled as he gazed at his friend butt naked.

“Better get going, and don’t worry, everyone else has left” Bobby said, standing off to the side to let Mark leave.

Mark practically bolted out, his phone and wallet in hand, yet as he sped by, Bobby was quick enough to quickly grab a chunk of his right ass cheek and squeeze, which made Mark yelp but also whimpered a little as his dick twitched at the contact. 

“Have a nice drive home, birthday boy” Bobby said, winking at Mark resumed his exit from the bathroom.

Bobby was true to his word, everyone else left, yet Mark still covered his crotch as he sped out of the office towards the parking lot, and sighed in relief as he checked that he also still had his keys. He stood out in the cold, open night air fully in the nude, and he couldn’t deny how good it felt to be running around completely naked. As for the plug, it seemed Adrian had had his fun, as it either died or turned off as soon as Mark hopped into his car.

Adrian was waiting on the couch when Mark finally returned home, he heard the jangle of his husband's keys and he smiled as he turned his head to welcome his husband home, and was greeted with the sight of his husband without any clothes on.

“Whoa! I told you to take off your pants, not all your clothes…what happened to you?” Adrian said, intrigued, amused, and even a little turned on.

Mark took a deep breath as he moved to join his husband on the couch, the plug still inside his hole, and as he wrapped an arm around Adrian’s shoulder he finally exhaled and said: “It’s a long story.”

The End.

[mindhealing]

How Long Does It Take?

How long does any thing in life take to be acquired and possessed, be it chasing materialism and wealth, health and vitality or even the trivial things of life and life experiences? What happens when you finally acquire and possess them? That's up to you to decide for yourself. People can get very nasty and hostile in the pursuit of financial wealth and abundance at the expense of other people, because they are seeing everything in the world as a competition, and they want and need to win at all cost, no matter what they have to do to win. They unfortunately see other people on this same path and journey as they are, as competitors, enemies and foe, to be destroyed and taken out of the equation to pave the way for their success. So whenever other people turn against you, including those you know, friends and family, understand that they often think it will make their own lives better, albeit from a selfish and self centered point of view and understanding.

Most times and instances, you may believe that severing ties or any kind of connection, bond or relationship or even taking sides with someone else especially an enemy perceived as best friend, or using the common term "frenemy", will bring you peace and calm, success and happiness, a sense of belonging and finally acquisition of all that you desired and wanted in life. Unfortunately, you find out through the sad, unforgiving and hard way, that life doesn’t magically improve just like that because you followed some rules and regulations, associated with some class of people or even went the extra mile to do the unthinkable just to fit in and belong to the group or class that you were desperately seeking to belong to.  Problems don’t disappear overnight no matter what you do or don't do, and the same challenges you tried to escape from and evade, will usually and eventually find you  again no matter how long it takes, it's usually a matter of time.

Sometimes, you may end up realizing when it's late, or too late that you have lost someone or the people who truly cared about you because of your poor judgement, choices and decisions. You may have been thinking or thought you were doing the right thing, and making the right choice and decision at that time, unfortunately as time and the days go by, which they always do, you begin to see the cracks on the wall. You see and know that you have made the wrong call from poor and incomplete assessment, that has brought poor judgement, and eventually poor choices and decisions. You end up regretting your choices and decisions, you end up in an unhappy state creating anguish and misery for yourself and when this isn't checkmated, it leads to serious health challenges and problems.

How long can you be caught up in this negative emotional frenzy? How long do you think the health challenges and problems will stay without creating a more fatal situation or condition? You have got to realize that poor judgement, choices and decisions are just that - mistakes and errors, that can be corrected without locking yourself in the abysmal depth of the mind, it's narratives, stories and drama creating this loop of chain reaction that keeps you suspended in negativity, that only makes you sad and miserable, also makes your life and life experiences a hard one to bear. You have a choice and a chance to get yourself out by cutting your loss and decoding to turn things around for you for the better. How do you do this? Simple. Disconnect from the mind and it's attendant negativity, and reconnect with the divinity within you, your Higher Self which is your true authentic self waiting to connect with you and show you the truth about yourself. It will show you how to move up and out of your quagmire easily, and what new and right decisions to take and make, so that your life and life experiences changes for the better if not the best.

Sometimes, life has a way of also helping you out in sorting out the mess you have found yourself enmeshed, by revealing the truth of how and when you got into it so that you see, know and understand. Those who have turned or turned their backs on you, might find themselves in situations and conditions, where they suddenly know and realize that they had been rash in their decision and unfair to you, so they now wish they had acted differently and given you a chance to defend yourself or even explain yourself.  Now they are ready to talk and mend fences, and you suddenly realize the rainbow you couldn't see before, the healing has started and you are on your way to full recovery and a new life and life experiences. Time is a great healer, mender of broken hearts and mind and fixer of all life and life experiences. But you also need to ask the pertinent question "did their lives get better or worse without you? "did your life also get better or worse without them? The answer helps you decide if you are better off with or without them in your life, even after mending fences. Most times losing people who didn’t value you is the best thing that could ever happen to you, then you can finally attract the ones who will help you achieve all your dreams and desires, goals and objectives, aims and ambitions and help you become the best version of yourself.

More to come.

[fenn-eats-flowers]

It makes me so sad how often I see queer people hating on polyamory (and ENM in general). (And of course cishet people too but idk i guess i expect queer people to be more openminded so it hits me harder)

There’s so much misunderstanding around it and it seems like so many people have/witness one bad experience with it and assume polyamory is the problem. But it’s just people being shitty. The same way people will be shitty in monogamous relationships. It’s not the relationship style that’s the issue

Or when people think that because they can’t understand it it’s bad? You dont have to understand something for it to be real. Please become comfortable with not understanding everything, it’s so important

And there’s this whole phenomenon where some people use polyamory as an excuse to cheat. If it’s not fully consensual it’s not polyamory, it’s cheating. And again, some people doing that doesn’t reflect on polyamory as a concept, it reflects on THOSE PEOPLE

Don’t get me wrong, a healthy polyamorous relationship requires a lot of work and respect and communication. But so does monogamy! Or at least it should, but society is so used to monogamy that we’re all used to unhealthy monogamous relationships, and its normalized

[danikriatura]

Polyamory Myths I’m not falling for……

That my partners’ feelings aren’t my problem and that my feelings shouldn’t be of any consequence to my partners.

Jealousy and envy are a moral failing on my part.

That lack of jealousy is the pinnacle character trait required to have successful nonmonogamy.

That if something doesn’t feel right, the answer is always that there’s something about me that needs to change.

That having the freedom to interact with whomever I chose to however I choose to means operating with reckless abandon in my relationship pursuits.

If you appreciate my work:

CashApp: $lavitaloca35

Venmo: Evita-Sawyers

#polyamory #polyamorous #enm #ethicalnonmonogamy #consensualnonmonogamy #nonmonogamy #nonmonogamous

[raspberryconverse]

Oh lord.

So I downloaded Hinge (out of desperation after things went south with not actually Beau #5) a little over a week ago and I started talking to this woman I matched with. She wasn't on a lot and had gone on a trip with her partner the week of Labor Day, so while the conversation was happening it was slow.

Tonight, I went to Poly Cocktails and I go and say hi to the other guy. He's sitting at a table with an NB I had met at a previous Cocktails and a woman. The woman says, "Oh hey! We're talking on Hinge!"

One of my Hinge matches who I've been talking to on and off since I got on the app is my friend's nesting partner 🤦‍♀️

Now, neither the friend nor the woman think it's weird. I just felt really weird because I had no idea. He's kinda happy about the match, it seems. So the theory that Beau #4 and I have that he might be into me might actually be wrong. Or he realizes I think of him as a friend and he wants his NP to have me. I don't do threesomes, so that ain't happening and I don't think I could date a couple individually either. That gets a little weird.

All I can say is if it gets that far, I am absolutely not going to their place to hookup because that's a whole level I am not ok with. Someone who's given me advice about other guys absolutely does not need to know what my sex noises sound like, lol. I mean, he says he doesn't care about meeting his partner's partners, but also I'm not sure he necessarily wants to be home when his partner is entertaining someone else. Even if he doesn't care, I'm not going there.

Poly problems, amiright?

[figs-and-cigs]

I typically go through long periods of not Tumblring. I haven't written a rant about Poly/ENM for a while. Life update I guess, throwing it out into the void.

Something is in the air lately. The one partner I was seeing turned out to be a big dumb faced liar. Breaking up with him sucked. It sucks even more that he's a big active part of the local community. So I just have to suck it up and play nice. We're on good terms because I don't want to split up our friends. We already watched that happened with his previous divorce and the divorce of some of our others friends.

Meanwhile my comet is having an identity crisis and put dating on the back burner. That's fine - they're working and traveling a lot anyway. But that puts us in limbo of, "are we gonna see each other romantically ever again or not!?"

The ex-girlfriend I'd been so angry at and grieving? I guess we're ok. She literally told me at the last event that she, "tells people she still thinks I'm a good and awesome person." Like.... Uhh ok... People talk about me? There's a need to tell people I'm a good person? How the fuck am I supposed to react to that other than - "thanks?" Was she genuinely trying to be nice? Or was that some weird psych out manipulation?

I took over our local discussion group. I like leading meetings. But it's an odd time because I'm suddenly in a position where I'm not interested in dating anyone but my husband at the moment. - I have a play partner I could reach out to, but I'm grieving relationships and feeling very unsexy.

The problem with communities is that there are people in them 😭 I'm reminded that people can just really really fucking suck. I don't expect anyone to be perfect, but I've been seeing a lot of ugly behaviors from supposedly "enlightened" "well read" "evolved" "inclusive" "ETHICAL" people.

[ajourneythroughenm]

Demi shame

I did the first overnight at the weekend. On paper it all went off without a hitch. I saw her for dinner, we had a great evening, then we went back to the hotel. We had sex all night. It was, on one level, easy and intimate. Something about the pre-negotiation made me able to just relax and be the most in the moment I’ve ever been with a new partner. I’m an anxious type, only ever got with someone new when drunk, drunk enough to forget how I managed it. We slept - terribly in my case - and had sex again the next morning. Then back home to the family, where it was service as normal.

It sounds like a success.

But I’m a demi. I’ve known that for years, told my new partner from the outset, told my wife - because long term I think I’ll be poly of this works, in love with a long-term partner as well as my wife. And demi means that no matter how much affection I have for someone, how much I can respect their intelligence, will and charisma, if I don’t feel it there’s not much I can do. And I went home on Sunday morning to the growing certainty that I didn’t feel it with her. That I don’t want to spend the night with her again. That has left me feeling shallow, and ashamed that I’ve used her. I’m pretty sure she’d be the first to tell me I didn’t use her, but fucking hell it feels like that.

I’ve let it settle for a few days now, because my anxiety has taught me to let my feelings emerge before acting. But I still feel like this. Worse, I now worry I’m denying my feelings with the other woman I’ve been dating. That there may be nothing there beyond affection. Which means it’s quite likely I’ll soon be left without any partner or prospects while my wife is setting up second overnights and meeting new people.

So, two big problems right now. First is breaking up with my new partner. That’s straight up shit, but at least I know how to do it. Tell her the truth, be available to talk, and answer any questions she has.

Second is finding someone I do have a spark with. That scares me more, because there aren’t that many people out there, in this lifestyle. And what I’m looking for is rare, a very specific combination of personality and looks. When I fall, I fall hard, but I can’t control who or when. I wish I wasn’t like this, but I can’t change that.

So here I am, wrangling shame and loneliness and fear. I’ve got tickets for a local ENM social event in February, I’ll be messaging new people, starting again. My wife tells me she wants me to find someone, is cheering me on. But she’s resilient, less prone to emotional extremes than I am.

And right now I’m at a low ebb, unable to put the genie back in the bottle.

[enm-enthusiast]

Office Party Prank

I dedicate this story to @suitedwestend! He has been an amazing and supportive fellow ENM writer, so I thought it was only fair to write this little story, in his honor ;) 

Marcus was the office golden boy, he had only been on the job for six months and already he had gotten a promotion and a raise in the office, making him the envy of many who had been there for far longer. Standing at 6 '0, light brown eyes and with short light brown hair, Marcus wasn’t a heavily built man but was very fit as well, his suits that he constantly wore to work clung to his sexy body especially his famous bubble butt.

One co-worker in particular who had a bone to pick with Marcus was a bitter rival, a tall, ginger man named Eric who resented him because Eric had been in the running for the promotion just before Marcus arrived. Despite that the company was doing much better with him around, and everyone in the office adored him, Eric saw him as a stuck-up snob who needed to be taken down a peg or two.

Eric would get his chance when the annual office Christmas party was coming up, where everyone was buzzing about what they wanted to wear. Eric overheard Marcus talking to a group of their coworkers that he was planning to wear a special suit he had in his office that was decorated with candy canes and christmas tree embroidery. A devilish idea popped into Eric’s head then to get his revenge on Marcus.

Marcus himself was a very confident but well-mannered man, but on the inside was very self-conscious about himself due to still being new. He also chose to constantly wear suits to work because of his dissatisfaction with his natural appearance. Unbeknownst to him, however, men and women in the office alike constantly eyed him, especially his backside whenever he walked past them. His secret nickname amongst those who found him hot was “Sexy Suit Marcus” and would gossip about how much his tight pants clung to his bubble butt.

Despite this, Marcus had no wish to present himself as anything other than the prim, well-groomed man he was at work, god forbid he wear casual clothes amongst them or show any skin besides his face and hands. Unfortunately for him, however, his deepest fears were about to come true as Eric took the night shift a few nights before the Christmas party…and with no one but him around he snuck into Marcus’ office, which was luckily unlocked for him.

Eric, despite his resentment, admired how clean and organized the office was, which made it easy for him to find a small closet off to the side, in which he found the suit Marcus was planning to wear hanging inside, along with a few spare suit outfits. 

Smiling devilishly to himself, Eric said “haha, time to show off the goods, Marcus” he said as he brought out a needle, thread, and scissors, and with a last, vicious chuckle, he got to work…

A few days later…

It was time for the office Christmas Party, Marcus had just walked into his office and was changing into his chosen attire when he felt something was off, and said “hmmm, this thing feels…different than it did the first time I wore it” he said out loud to himself. He finished pulling on his pants which were peppered with candy canes along the legs, and his suit overcoat had two big Christmas trees on the front. He had also chosen to go commando tonight, as he was out of any clean pairs of undies, but decided that for tonight it shouldn’t be a problem. 

When he had finished fully dressing himself, Marcus left his office towards the main area past the cubicles, as he got closer he heard co workers voices as they chatted and soft christmas music in the background. He arrived with a smile on his face, and everyone turned to greet him with a smile in return, some even said:

“Hey man! Nice suit”

“Right? I think it fits him perfectly, outlines all the right curves too…”

“Don’t mind her Marcus, she’s just had a little too much to drink”

Despite their reassurances, her comment made Marcus blush a little in his cheeks, and he scratched his head in embarrassment. 

Meanwhile, Eric was off to the side, drinking soda out of his cup and eyeing Marcus suspiciously and ignoring most people’s attempts to talk to him, instead he responded with “hmmm” or simple grunts of understanding. He was waiting for his efforts to come to fruition which made his heart pound with excitement as he knew it could happen at any moment now.

Marcus continued to mingle with his co workers, and inhibitions were being gradually lowered as several of his peers drank and more open attempts to flirt with him were being heard all around. One such one was where a lanky, 5’11 dark-haired lad was talking with him, and said: 

“You know, at parties back home we had this little thing where the hottest guy in the room had to lose his pants, care to lose yours?” he said, locking his eyes with Marcus whose face was turning completely red and was chuckling nervously as he didn’t respond.

“Relax, I’m just teasing, after all it’s a party, now go have fun” he said, playfully pushing Marcus towards the crowd. His blush didn’t go unnoticed by others but it gradually died down, what did not, however was that his cock was starting to rise in his jeans from the constant flirting.

Indeed, many pairs of inebriated eyes gazed at him, some he noticed, others he didn’t.

Eric was practically giggling with delight, it was all coming together, and sure enough the first part of his plan was about to come to realization as suddenly the office began feeling very, very warm.

“Did someone forget to clean out the filter again?” one of them complained. The office air conditioner would stop working if too much dust built up, so it had to be cleaned at least once a week to keep it cool inside. Soon, everyone began to shed the top layers of their clothing, some guys even took off their shirts. Notions of modesty escaped everyone as the temperature continued to rise.

What everyone didn’t know was that Eric had also snuck into the where the air filters were and had rigged them to shut off around this time, his smile was hidden beneath his cup and he eyed the entire office before gluing them back to Marcus, who refused to take off his suit jacket.

Marcus, despite saying he was fine was visibly sweating and was dying to lighten off the top layers of his clothing but his self-consciousness got the better of him…until his coworkers decided to lend him a hand.

“Marcus, you’re obviously sweating like a pig under that, just take off the suit jacket it’s not a big deal” the dark-haired lad from before, James, said who was now shirtless himself, his hairless pale torso in plain view for everyone to see.

“I don’t know…it’s just…ugh you wouldn’t understand” Marcus said, his face beet red.

James set down his cup and grabbed Marcus by the tie and said “doesn’t matter if I understand or not, I do understand that your sexy ass needs to cool off…so how about I just-” he paused and lifted his hands up towards Marcus’ shoulders and started to pull down his suit jack which revealed his white dress shirt underneath.

Marcus wanted to protest, but he was frozen in shock as James gently removed his jacket and draped it over the side of the chair next to him, immediately feeling a cool breeze around his torso and breathed a sigh of relief.

“See? Feels better doesn’t it” James said. 

“Yeah…I have to admit, it does” Marcus said, scratching his head again nervously as the red in his face faded away.

Marcus started to feel strange as he continued to chat with James, he felt weird sensations around the edges of his shirt and the seat of his pants as the temperature continued to rise in the office, and now some people had taken off their pants as a result.

Eric meanwhile had finally set down his cup, the time had come, he put on a show of stumbling as if he was heavily drunk towards Marcus’ direction, and he eyed the drink in his hands as his target. 

Sure enough, Marcus didn’t expect Eric to suddenly bump right into him so hard he lost his grip on his cup which fell to the floor, his drink spilling across the tile. 

“Oh mannn….I’m so sowry Marcus” Eric said, purposely slurring his speech. 

Marcus just smiled nervously and said “oh it’s nothing dude, don’t worry about it” he said and he gathered up some napkins and Eric watched, his heart thundering in his chest as he came back and proceeded to bend over…

As he lowered himself and his knees bent, Marcus felt that strange sensation again, and he heard and felt what sounded like threads snapping around the seat of his pants. He felt the fabric clinging to his backside tighten and clench against his ass cheeks, tightening and tightening until…

RIIIIIPPPPPP

Gasps of shock echoed around the entire office as Marcus’ pants ripped at the seams of his backside and sure enough, both of his cheeks were on full display. Not only that, but when his pants ripped open so violently the force of it made his cheeks bounce and jiggle in front of everyone.

the rip was large enough for his entire ass to be on display, each were a perfect round with enough thickness to each cheek that they jiggled with each step they took when freed from the confines of his pants. Marcus gasped in shock and cried out in embarrassment and tried to stand up but he managed to slip on the wet floor and fell on his back, his bare cheeks pressing against the floor.

Eric was simply delighted at seeing Marcus so humiliated, but he wasn’t done with him yet…no, it was time for step 3 as he motioned to James to help grab onto Marcus’ arms and help him up. They each grabbed on the cuff of Marcus’ white dress shirt, and when they *pulled* Marcus felt that sensation once more and tried to shout for them to step but too late as the fabric seams gave way and…

RIIPPPPPP

They each tore off an arm from Marcus’ shirt, leaving just his white undershirt and his torn open from the back pants. 

Marcus was panicking now, something was seriously wrong with his suit! He had to act fast or else he was going to lose more clothes but while he was thinking Eric said to James:

“Let’s try lifting him up by his chest, must have been a cheap shirt, let’s lift him up on 3…” he said, and James nodded, confused and concerned for his friend.

Eric started counting down, “1” he said and Marcus tried to protest but James retorted they were just trying to help him as both he and James bent down and grabbed him by his chest, each having handfuls of his shirt in their hands.

“2” he said, looking James directly in the eyes and they each tightened their grip.

Marcus’ eyes widened and he tried to say “uh…guys, I don’t think this is-” 

“3” Eric said and they lifted Marcus up and successfully managed to stand him back up, however, the seams of his undershirt came apart slowly as they lifted him. This kept Marcus’s shirt on as they lifted him up but as his feet touched the ground and they attempted to pull, Marcus’ shirt came undone and another loud rip sounded as both Eric and James came away with large strips of his shirt in their hands, leaving him bare-chested.

Marcus's nipples were flat due to the heat, but his chest glistened with sweat from the high temperature which made him stick out all the more. He had some but minimal chest hair that started around his pecs and ended with a treasure trails of tiny hairs that traveled down towards his crotch.

Marcus’s face was completely red now, and as he looked down at himself he panicked and thought to himself that his coworkers were “accidentally” stripping him! All he had left were his pants which he just realized were still torn open and he moved to cover his backside.

He looked around as everyone in the room was staring at them, some even had their phones out! It was all too much, he needed to get away before something worse happened.

Eric meanwhile struggled to contain his laughter, and he noticed that Marcus was about to attempt to flee, and he knew that now was the time to enact his ultimate revenge, and in his head he thought to himself “time to get naked” and smirked slightly.

Marcus said “I’m ummm…going to get changed…be right back!” he said, turning his red face away and turning around to flee, but before he could get far…

“Wait, you forgot your jacket” Eric said and lunged to stop Marcus from running and luckily for him he managed to grab the back of Marcus’ pants from the top and he *pulled* as if to stop him but in reality he knew that the fabric seams he sabotaged last night and glued back together were coming undone, all it needed to rip away…was a little pull. Sure enough, as Eric pulled Marcus yelled “Nooooo!” as he felt the sensations around the sides of his pants return and felt the fabric completely snap and then….

RIIIIPPPPPPPPP

Eric had lunged in a way that saw him pulling his pants downwards and as the pants themselves ripped away completely, so did they as they fell to the floor. Marcus’ last shred of dignity was stripped away, leaving him butt naked in front of everyone.

He turned around to face Eric, and he made the mistake of not covering up his crotch, where his cock was already rising, it's length curving towards its full 7 inches, and so everyone had not only seen his bubble butt, they had seen his cock and balls! Marcus’ humiliation was total and complete as some took out their phones to record his shame.

Marcus covered himself but it was little use as everyone had already seen, and his cock refused to go down, his shame was plain on his face as he stood there naked and utterly humiliated.

Eric stood back up, strips of Marcus’ pants in his hands and smiled as he gazed at Marcus’ bare, naked body and thought to himself “hahaha, how’s it feel to be exposed fully naked? And wtf, you're getting hard? Not just a loser, are you? you're a pervert” he thought.

James stared in shock and unlike most others, he decided to step in between Marcus and the others and said “guys, what the hell? Stop recording, it’s not funny, we all saw it now move on” he said. As soon as he said it, everyone began to put away their phones, shame on their own faces and they all looked away guiltily except for Eric who continued to savor his triumph.

James turned to Marcus, grabbed him by the shoulders and said, “hey, come one, let’s get you some clothes” he said and led Marcus away towards his office, his cheeks jiggling and bouncing as he went.

As Marcus composed and recovered himself, he turned to James and said “t-thanks man” he said.

James smiled at him reassuringly and said “don’t mention it, besides, I’m sure you’ll figure out a way to repay me one day” he said, giving him a wink. Despite that his face turned redder, a shudder of excitement ran down Marcus’ entire body, including his cock which throbbed beneath his hands.

He had no idea that his repayment would be something he not only would give soon, but that he’d enjoy it more than James would.

End of Part 1.

Hope you all enjoyed this, especially my good friend who this story is dedicated to! I’ll post part 2 shortly, along with the next chapter of The Exhibitionists Club, until then…enjoy!

[dreadfutures]

is it the app that's the problem you think. do you think the entire bay area is a bumble dead zone full of bearded men working on genAI and stunning Buddhist ENM women who all want children and aren't my type do we think my type is on hinge or some other stupid app 😩

[louisisalarrie]

https://www.tumblr.com/louisisalarrie/763384375466475521/the-whole-ethical-non-monogamous-theory-kind-of?source=share

love love LOVE the tags. they're exactly correct.

tbh, reading fanfics and blurring lines between reality and fiction is a common problem in this fandom.. but even leaving that aside, why so much sexualisation. idk if it was always this way, but the recent obsession of focring open/nonmong/poly relationships on them for the sake of adding sexual fantasies on both of them is not just interesting, but it also proves the point of every sony/modest/syco exec ever. instead of glamourising their hetro sex lives where harry and/or louis fuck every girl/fan that they see, larries are just supplanting the exact same fantasy onto their gay relationship. (obviously there is no question of a marriage, how could they, these sex obsessed gay men)

good for these people i guess. might help with examining why is it so difficult for them to accept a committed, monogomous relationship/marriage for two gay men, but it is the no questions norm for countless hetro couples, in entertainment, business, army etc.

but also, anybody who has these ideas about them clearly does not know either of their history, or in Harry's case, his own lyrics ( PSA : go listen to woman, HS, or to be so lonely, Fine Line. if thats not enough, do listen to his cover of girl crush. ENJOY)

In response to this

Strongly agree with you, anon! Harry and louis both write so many songs about long time love with this one person who they are extremely committed to, and it just doesn’t fit the vibe of a potential enm relationship, in my opinion.

I have a few friends who have really successful enm relationships, where they have each other as a primary partner, and then they explore outside of that. Some of these couples have gone on to buy a house or get engaged etc., and have closed their relationship. Others have gotten very serious like the above, but have stayed open. It’s what works for them, and that’s great. I just don’t think it’s the vibe of larry, and I don’t think it’s really productive to speculate. And you’re correct, those blurred lines happen far too often in this fandom.

Also, that’s a very interesting and important point you make there, anon. It definitely encourages the hyper-sexualisation of queer people, both in the public eye and not, and can prove the point that those music industry execs try to make with the heterosexuality they forced upon both louis and particularly harry.

It’s has kinda always been this way to a degree, I guess? But it’s pretty huge now that there’s more folks in the fandom and enm/more diverse relationship types are becoming more socially acceptable and widespread, which just wasn’t really the case back then. There was more fics about it rather than actual belief and discussion that it was the case.

I remember usually the biggest thing we’d argue about was who tops lol, not if they were fucking other people too. You had your Zourries particularly, but again, it wasn’t this proper and serious belief that this is what their relationship was like. People are just boreedddddd tho, and this is what happens when fandoms are bored. We speculate, create theories, and they can sometimes get out of hand.