#english funnies

[ilikaicalie]

I very much enjoy that the word Parallel has within it the very definition of the concept.

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[burningvelvet]

a twitter thread that actually killed me

[mornyavie]

By the way! BBC Merlin, in its ongoing quest to achieve ren faire levels of historical accuracy, used Actual Old English as the magic spell language. They got a professor to do a lot of the translations, though they didn't spend much effort on the pronunciation.

There are two ways that this is very funny if you watch the show while knowing OE. One is that usually when they do the "wave your hands to smash your enemies around" type spells they're literally saying very simple stuff like "jump back" and "fall." The other is that whenever they have a long incantation to read, they say vaguely related stuff for a sentence or so and then just transition into reciting Beowulf.

[majubengel]

Family Portrait~

Extra:

[that1geek06]

"English isn't my-"

Hush now my friend, and let me read the absolute beauty of a fic that you have bestowed this world and humiliated the first English speakers with

[binabadaboom]

"I just finshed teaching myself calculus. What subject should I take next : colors of the rainbow or sounds farm animals make" i am fkn screaming.

oh and sorry for the quality, found in an old af folder

[cat-cosplay]

"I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed cat bowl wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

[mssi]

football heritage

[jay-wasstuff]

So no one was going to tell me Logan calls Wade daddy instead of bub/ba in the spanish dub?

[eepy-jazz-musician]

Transcendentalism is a hard word to grasp, so it's important to look at the etymology of it so you can parse its meaning. Trans - to be beyond or across Cen - one hundred Dental - Teeth Ism - the belief of So taken all together, transcendentalism means "the belief that one should have beyond one hundred teeth"

Hope this helps!

[calicorobin]

dirkjake i think

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[picturemecountingcards]

could only express this in green text format, bear with me

> be me

> in english class

> some guy delivers a meandering nihilistic monologue about how we're all just apes and our only purpose is reproducing, eating, dying and rotting (direct quote) that only vaguely pertains to the question he's being asked

> turn around to look at him

> see his laptop

> it's covered in southpark stickers

[royalarchivist]

Etoiles: Guys, can we please– can we please give the $100k to Felipe?

Roier: Eh? What the fu– Ay ay ay ay– pendejos! Don't speak English, ok? Español. ¡Español!

Etoiles: Uh, uh, uh– [Singing] ¡Un, dos, tres!

Roier: [Also singing] Un, dos, tres, un pasito pa'lante María–

Phil: [In despair] ¡Inglés! Por favor!!! 😫

Roier: No, Inglés no, Inglés no. 😌

Phil: Inglés, por– 😭

Roier: Aqui Español, aqui Español. 🇲🇽 🇲🇽 🇲🇽

[sharlinefreire]

ok, there's a famous meme in brazil about house md and i don't know if there is an english version for this meme, so i'll try to translate as best i can:

every episode of house md is like

> the patient arrives the hospital.

> the patient is a prostitute or a religious fanatic.

> dr. house attends the patient. she's very sick.

“dr. house, we don't know what to do!! she's bleeding from her eyes!!”

“do the exams, you idiot”

> dr. house will talk with the patient.

“you're stupid. fuck you.”

“dr. house, i hate youuu!! please heal meeee!!”

> cameron, chase and foreman come back to the room.

“dr. house, all the exams were negative. she's gonna die in 2 hours if we do nothing!! will be game over for her.”

“hmmm... game over... oh, there's a gameboy in her ass, that's the problem!”

“dr. house, you're an idiot, but we will check if there really is a gameboy in her ass.”

> they found the gameboy in her ass.

“oh my god, dr. house!! you were right. how did you know that?”

“the gameboys pikachu edition released in 1997 had an iodine-based battery, which if inserted in the butt makes your eyes bleed”

> the patient, cured, enters in the room.

“i was wrong about you, dr. house”

“fuck you, you're a whore! life is pain!!”

> dr. house go to lunch and flirt with dr. wilson <3

> the end.