#end of april mood
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#Me Every Year At The End Of April
#its a must#it's gonna be may#wrong lyrics always#iconic#justin timberlake#NSYNC#it's gonna be me#may#end of april mood#mood#relatable#me#same
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quick itfs sketch page
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuuji#megumi#fr some reason it's rare fr me to b happy with monochrome pieces so i am combatting tht general dislike by making it itfs#harder 2 dislike smth when it's a bunch of sketches of my ship kissing#oh ya threw in some good ol Corner Angst also bc i ended up not wanting 2 draw a third kiss dsfhjshdsdfjg#doing this got me thinking about tht one itfs piece i did back in april#captioned smth smth 'im on an itafushi kick'#n how that was like. the piece that opened the floodgates n made me realize how actually insane i am abt them#before it was just a casual Yeah This Ship Is Cute ill draw for it when the mood strikes#then after doing tht draws i ws like wait a minute whats happening to me#now here i am 5 months later completely emotionally dependent on these 2 traumatized 15 year olds#anyway this sheet is kind of an homage 2 the other one :'> how far ive come. how far theyve come. they make me ill every waking hour
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Some old men on a road trip~
(Inspired by the concept from Meet me when the World Ends by WhyIsThisHappeningToMe)
#tmnt crossover#tmnt 2012#rottmnt#raphael#donatello#leonardo#michelangelo#click for better quality#this hasnt happened in the fic#been trying to get back into a writing mood but drawing mood hit me instead :')#i promised myself id never draw for incomplete fics#whoops#it was labeled complete when i started sketching this out#but then they updated#mutant apocalypse#rottmnt movie#i forgot to draw April's broken fan 😑#meet me when the world ends
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irt the lrb what would you say if i said liam & noel spent new years 2023 together in paris
what would you say if i said liam bought the house in france (the one with noel's name carved into the walls) in march 2023 and that month noel talked about wanting to spend several months in paris
which could mean nothing
#just making guesses chatting shit talking bollocks you know how it is#if anyone can debunk that first thing pls tell me!#feel like i'm wearing a tinfoil hat and it doesn't vibe with my outfits if y'know what i mean#feel like i should do a timeline but every time i try it gets out of hand#ok have some very messy puzzle piecing:#liam & noel texting/calling from time to time since jan 2020#noel splits w sara spring 2022 starts spending more time in manchester#maybe march mothers day something happened?? possibly liam & noel met up in april??? that's pure speculation though#pretty boy released oct 31 2022 noel stops wearing wedding ring#noel spends christmas in england for the first time in ages#liam listens to the smiths all christmas eve. on christmas he has a party for close friends and family (including bod)#liam and debbie go to france for the new year to house hunt#liam claims on twitter (no one believes him) that noel is with him on new years day#(((he posts a selfie that i uhhh got very tinhatty about.. don't worry about it)))#noel goes to a football game on jan 5 and he is in a very good mood#divorce news jan 14. liam's divorce playlist jan 15. allegedly out drinking together jan 16. noel does promo for new single jan 17#jan 18th liam claims on twitter noel wants to meet up#peggy's 80th birthday end of jan#liam's hip surgery beginning of feb#feb 6th he claims noel's “coming over later to wipe my arse and change the bedding he's a good lad really”#starts slagging noel off for real again in early march (he'd been “nice” since november's pretty boy promo)#news that he bought a house in france#noel does a bunch of promo at the end of march (when the 3rd single came out) some of which didnt air until june when the album came out#there's one interview where he seems very tired and hungover and he blabs about paris for ages#end of march is the 1st time he tells liam to call him. 2 months later he asks (goads) liam again a bunch of times#anyway i probably forgot some liam tweets from jan/feb and i really haven't looked into 2022 or 2021 yet#but yeah it's pretty clear they were hanging out 👁️👁️ jan 2023 and then things soured by march after liam's surgery#(((kinda wonder if noel ghosted him and then was too scared to call))) ←wondering that bc it's exactly what i would've done :/#the christmas eve/day stuff probably means nothing btw but well i'm feeling insane about the new years stuff don't even worry about it
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“I’m still trying to figure out how Jesse is going to end my character’s journey, because I don’t know. There are still some decisions to be made, and everything is up in the air. So I won’t know either until everyone finds out.”
They filmed multiple endings?!?!?! 😵💫 Jesse I just want to talk.
Jeremy Strong for UK Stirra Zilei (translated from Romanian so he meant “siblings,” not brothers)
#what the fuck Jesse#Jesse#Jesse talk to me#look at me#you filmed multiple endings#what do you need to be in a good mood while you are editing#I will do anything#you have our baby’s future in your hands still?!?!#this interview came out TODAY April 8th#Kendall isn’t sleeping and I’m betting Jeremy isn’t either#WELL NOW I WONT EITHER#jesse call me#I’ll come visit you#if you make the wrong choice I’ll come visit you every day forever in fact#jeremy strong#succession#kendall roy#succession season 4
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Extremely Belated April Reading Wrap-Up
This post is a bit late as the past couple weeks have been hectic, what with the comic expo and then uhhh inadvisably rearranging my living room 😅 I read 9 books in April, which sounds good, but only 4 of those were actually off my TBR list 😬 Here's hoping I'm a bit more productive in May...
Read:
Blackfish City - Sam J. Miller (started in March)
The Night Eaters vol 1: She Eats the Night - Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda
Bubble - Sarah Morgan & Jordan Morris
Meet Me by the Fountain: An Inside History of the Mall - Alexandra Lange
An Accident of Stars - Foz Meadows
Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries - Heather Fawcett
Even Greater Mistakes: Stories - Charlie Jane Anders
Winter Rose - Patricia McKillip
Princess Jellyfish vol 1 - Akiko Higashimura
Currently Reading (as of the end of April):
The Secret Country - Pamela Dean
#whoops this is 10 days late#the end of april/beginning of may was hectic to say the least#books#april wrap up#april reading wrap up#so far may has not been as productive as i hoped 😬 2 dnf's and one book i want to read but im never actually in the mood for reading
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this is turning into a trigun blog and my birthday is in a month
i kinda realized that last part today
#speculation nation#topic of ages coming up and me being like 'well im turning 26 in... oh boy a bit over a month now'#it really crept up on me. doesnt feel like april. but time marches ever onward#one month and three days now. may 13th. mark it in ur calendars#usually im so obnoxious about my birthday but im not really feeling. very up to it right now#i'll probably end up in the mood later tho. i always love being celebrated lol
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Reading Wrap-Up | April 2024
That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Human by Kimberly Lemming Garlic and the Vampire by Bree Paulsen Garlic and the Witch by Bree Paulsen Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins Nimona by N. D. Stevenson
[mini reviews/ratings below the cut]
That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Human by Kimberly Lemming ⭐Rating: 3.5/5
After reading the previous two in the Mead Mishaps series, I was so excited to get my hands on this book. It follows Cherry, Cinnamon's sister who for two books we've thought to be dead, and Dante, another character who we've gotten to know. Turns out Cherry didn't die, she was kidnapped by a dragon and forced to live in a tower.
This series for me is like splurging at a diner; sure, I could spend the time putting thought into my meal, enjoy the prep time, savor the journey, and come out of it a changed person... or I could go out and relax with a drink and eat similar food but without any stress, I'm just here to have fun and laugh.
Not to say that there aren't complexities to these books as the worldbuilding is thoughtful and interesting the more we learn, and they do poke a lot of fun at certain tropes used in other books of its kind. The characters are fun and likable, there's a lot of sex that I could give or take but it's not terrible, and for the most part, I enjoyed Cherry and Dante's romance for what it was. I know what I'm signing up for when I pick up one of these, so even though the whole mates situation isn't really my thing, I've learned to go with the flow and have fun with it.
I did feel this book was a major improvement over the second book, which I was disappointed by. Also, upon reflection, I think I appreciate the first book a lot more now that I've read all three.
I'm honestly sad there isn't a fourth book out yet, but I'm keeping an eye out.
Garlic and the Vampire / Garlic and the Witch by Bree Paulsen ⭐Rating: 5/5
I'm putting these two together since I don't have too much to say. These are the sweetest, most wholesome graphic novels I've ever read, I adore them. I've had a major reading slump this month and I thought if I could just pick something quick and easy up, it'd make it easier to transition into something else. Hence these books.
The art is beautiful. I love Garlic, she's a little ball of anxiety and honestly, same. Her and Carrot's relationship is so sweet. Witch Agnes and Count are great. These stories are about little Garlic being brave and going on cute [and kinda scary] adventures and they made my night.
Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett ⭐Rating: 2/5
This one is... difficult. I liked it? I think? But also, it was a massive disappointment. It's frustrating because it didn't have to be. All the pieces were there for a fantastic story! Hell, at points, this book had me... but then it would quickly lose me.
This is the story of Emily Wilde who goes to a small town to study their faery folk but she struggles with the townspeople given she's not really a people person... but then her academic rival/friend Wendell Bambleby shows up to assist her.
The problem with this book is it's written in journal entries... journal entries that apparently recount everything, including long conversations and events with quite creative prose, that happened in journal form... as in it's a lot of telling, a lot of feelings being separated from the story that when the romance suddenly happened, I was like, "...Really? Like, actually? You two were better off as friends because this came out of nowhere??"
The journal structure is this books biggest downfall and I hate it because there's a good story in here. Why is it written like this??
I liked Emily a lot as a protagonist, but because she's journaling all of this research and tends to leave out a lot, I feel like there are crucial chunks missing. Poe was probably my favorite character, though. Bambleby was.... ugh, he could've been interesting but I'm starting to see a pattern in every fae romance I read: the fae love interests are all man babies. It's getting old real quick.
I have zero interest in picking up the rest of this series, which is unfortunate. I had high hopes for this. When it was good, it was really damn good... but that's not enough to make up for the bad.
A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins ⭐Rating: 2/5
Right. So, confession time: I haven't read The Hunger Games Trilogy. I didn't pick it up when it was popular, I didn't have a YA dystopian phase, and I never felt any reason to pick up until now. When the first movie came out, I saw it and thought it was good. Never watched the other ones.
Until this month. My buddy Pi and I marathoned all four Hunger Games movies, and then the prequel movie. I enjoyed the movies, they were fun to discuss, so I thought y'know what? Why not? Why not give them a read now? And since I'm in a unique position with all the books out and on my shelves, what if I start with the prequel book about President Snow before jumping into the main trilogy?
So that's exactly what I did.
I severely underestimated how insufferable Snow would be for 500 pages.
I honestly don't know how I feel about this book. There was a lot I liked, a shit ton I didn't like, and a lot that draaaaaaagged on and on and on. I would say that the first two parts of this book are pretty solid. Part three is when it falls apart until the very end when it picks back up again.
Snow is annoying and his name is stupid. Yes, I suppose I have more insight that should make moving forward with the series interesting... but consider: I hate him and I hope there's an all-you-can-eat buffet of cabbage in hell for him. Of all the characters we could've had a prequel book about, we just had to go with him?
Lucy Gray I'm mixed on; she started singing at her reaping and I was like "ah, pixie dream girl, are we gonna do something interesting with that? perhaps subvert it?" and to my pleasant surprise, yeah we did play with it in an interesting way. There were moments where she made me roll my eyes, but I liked her well enough... except I didn't like her romance with Snow from the beginning, which was a given.
I spent the entire book hoping that Dr. Gaul would get eaten by one of her creations but alas, no such luck.
Sejanus Plinth deserved the world and then some. This dude, my guy... he was so ready to throw hands with Dr. Gaul at any moment and I love and respect and cherish him for that. Even now just thinking about it, I'm so pissed off and heartbroken about everything that happened to him.
Again, there were things I liked about this book, but I think I need more time to actually process it. This really isn't the place for me to write an essay on the bullshit that was Snow and Sejanus's relationship or the ghost of Lucy Gray or how Katniss was a swamp potato the entire time.
Nimona by N. D. Stevenson ⭐Rating: 4/5
I needed something fun to wash the bad taste of Snow outta my mouth, went to peruse my shelves, and found this. This one is a reread. I first read it back in 2016? I believe? Around that time, and I enjoyed it then just as much as I've enjoyed it now. I haven't watched the movie yet but now I probably will.
The art style is cute, the characters are fun, and it made me feel better. Not much else to say, really. It did what I wanted it to do, but I don't think I was as charmed by it as I was the Garlic graphic novels, y'know?
#cj reads stuff#reading wrap up#reading wrap up april 2024#this month was rough ngl#there was a lot of picking up a book and only reading a couple pages before putting it down because i wasn't in the mood#the middle of the month was a slump and picked back up in the end but like... emily wilde and the snow book weren't exactly great#i am planning on reading the hunger games trilogy for may though#i've never read and pi and i have talked about them since our movie marathon so i thought why not#i'll pick up the trilogy i missed out on as a teen and see if it's actually worth the hype#after that i'll probably need something lighter to comfort me and i have some cozy fantasy books lined up#so here's to a better reading month in may
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...
#i've been feeling quite anxious lately after having a good couple of months and i don't want to#i'm so scared of going back to that place i was during winter break#i don't want to feel like that again i don't think i'll be able to handle it#like... i haven't felt this desperation and anguish since... april????#but today all i wanted to do was cry and cry and cry but the worst part of it is that i just can't cry#and i feel like i'm letting my emotions in control of external factors again and whenever that happens it ends bad#i can't let my mood depend on things i can't control but i just can't help it#talking to the wall
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I guess he never did get that toaster he demanded in TCRI...
Out of context this moment is unintentionally hilarious.
#yup#big mood though#i'm surprised he was still alive by the end#plot armour is one hell of a protection#tmnt 2003#back to the sewer#leonardo splinterson#michelangelo splinterson#raphael splinterson#2003 april#poor leo is heartbroken that they have to bring these news and starts crying#and then she hits him with the 'okay.'#funny
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if one more person tries me today i. swear
#i really swear 😂#my mom's mad at me because i refuse to play house with her volatile and shady af boyfriend#if this dumbass decides today is when he wants to talk to me its going to end in him crying#85% chance of tears cause i am not in the mood and my mind and tongue are VERY sharp right now#just thoughts#grown ass woman throwing a temper tantrum cuz i dont wanna pretend#that he didnt try to break into our house back in april when she told him not to come by#middle of the fucking night and i was the only person here#if she wants to be like that i hope she can look back on the 2 weeks she had w me#and was proud of herself for siding with a weepy deadbeat instead of accepting her adult kid ofc doesnt want her w him
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take your medicine
pre-outbreak joel miller x f!reader
rating: explicit, 18+ minors dni summary: *tv sales advert voice* so you've been finding it hard to reach orgasm? lucky for you, our best-selling item "hunky boyfriend joel" is on sale at half price. shipping is free, and he is very determined to help you achieve your goals! call the number on your screen to buy now! OR your medication makes it difficult to orgasm so joel (and your vibrator) help make it happen. warnings/tags: set in the early 2000s aka early thirties joel my lover boyyyy, boyfriend joel, depression [nothing dark or sad], anti-depressants, brief discussion of food/eating, cigarette smoking [f], soft!supportive!joel, mentions of masturbation [f], unprotected piv sex, use of a sex toy, ride 'em cowgirl (1939) dir. samuel diege, cream pie, dirty talk, joel talks you through it. word count: 2.9k masterlist a/n: so this one is.... self-indulgent. shout out to all my friends on anti-depressants that are strugglin' to reach orgasm. me too, pals, me too. and there will be no medication shaming on this account, no there will not! so happy sunday, i hope someone else out there enjoys this short little thing with me x follow @hier--soirupdates if you'd like to be notified when i share my writing
Medication is a journey, they say. Every day will be different.
Medication is not the end all be all, they say. We can always try different avenues.
Six months on, now.
Six months since Let’s try the Zoloft for a few months.
Six months since We can reassess in April.
It’s June and summer has settled over Austin with a hot wet vengeance. April came and went with a mutual agreement that you weren’t ready to be weaned off yet. A gentle hand on your forearm and a softly spoken Why don’t we check in again in July?
A low dose. A starter dose. A you shouldn’t experience too many side-effects dose.
And she was right – for the most part. There were no headaches, no nausea, no dizzy spells, no changes in appetite. That shallow, low mood that’d been haunting you for months suddenly began to lift. Begrudging exercise in the afternoons, a three-meals-a-day regiment implemented by your boyfriend, and a happy little pill with every morning coffee.
But fuck – you can count the number of orgasms you’ve had since January on one hand.
Countless nights spent alone in your bed, tangled betwixt sweaty sheets, fingers and forearm cramping until you finally give up. Drink a cold glass of water, wet your face, and go to bed frustrated; a routine disappointment.
You’d gotten lucky a few times, of course. Vibrator on the highest setting possible, pussy all puffed up and numb from the rough speed. Frustrated tears in your eyes, lightheaded by the time you finally feel that sweet sweet relief coursing through your veins.
A few times with Joel, too, in those first few months. And ignorance was bliss—quite literally—until he caught onto what you’d been doing.
“What was different tonight?” he’d asked you on one of those nights, laid out beside each other in his bed. Chests heaving, satisfied smiles spread across your faces.
Your hand had paused against his head, fingers twisted up in his sweaty curls, and you hesitated. So quick, the briefest pause before trying to play it off, but he caught it. Always too perceptive, too watchful of an eye; especially since you’d been diagnosed.
“What’s wrong?” Joel frowned.
“I… didn’t… my…” you’d mumbled, face tucked against his pillow.
“Can’t hear you when you do that,” he pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “Baby?”
“I didn’t take my meds today,” you repeated, voice still low, still wary. But you could tell he heard you. Knew from the way his body stiffened beside you. From how when you looked over his smile had dropped, eyebrows pinching inward.
For a moment he didn’t even say anything. He hardly breathed. And then—Darlin’, why would you do that?—so painfully soft, the faintest tinge of worry in that deep, rasping voice of his.
“I don’t know,” you sighed, and something hot began to burn behind your eyes. Wet, pinching shame. “Just… I woke up and I wanted you. And I wanted it to feel like it used to for us, and I can never… you know I can’t finish when I’m on them, and I hate feeling like I’m disappointing you—”
“Baby,” Joel shook his head, strong hand cupping your jaw. His forehead knocked against yours; a tender but firm kind of insistence. The type that says look me in the fucking eyes and listen up. “You’re not disappointin’ me.”
“Joel,” you sighed, face hot, foreheads tacky where they pressed together.
“No,” he grunted. “I fuckin’ mean it. This stuff takes time, okay? We’ll figure it out the way we always do. Just… don’t do that again. Please.”
“I won’t,” you murmured feebly, nose smushed against his.
“Promise me,” Joel had urged you. “Promise me you’ll take your medicine.”
“I promise, Joel.”
You kept strong on that promise. Didn’t get frustrated when he’d stay over more nights than usual, or drag you back to his place in the evenings – all just to watch you pop that little white pill in the mornings.
It brought out something new in him, the day you’d showed him the prescription. Like some instinctual protectiveness was unlocked and he just kicked into hyperdrive.
Cutting work early to drive you to your doctor’s office, cooking up different meals every night for dinner.
Most days you wake up alone in his bed; wipe the sleep out of your eyes as you wander downstairs. Let him nudge you into a chair at the table, beside Sarah, so he can set identical bowls of cereal in front of the two of you—his girls. Hell, if you had a dollar for every time that man has said Breakfast is the most important meal of the day in the past six months, you’d have more money than you could spend.
Joel didn’t even get mad when you started smoking again in May.
Didn’t bat an eye when he found you at two in the morning, sat on the back porch in one of his sweatshirts with the smell of tobacco staining your fingers.
“Been a long time since I seen once of those in your mouth,” he’d smirked, settling onto the stoop beside you.
“I’m sorry,” you grimaced, remembering how proud he’d been when you quit. He rested his head against your shoulder, eyes watering with a yawn.
“S’late,” he grumbled sleepily. “N’you smell now.”
“I’m sorry,” you’d repeated, stamping the cigarette into the concrete. “Today was just… hard. Couldn’t sleep.”
“S’okay,” Joel told you. “Just don’t like it when you sneak out on me, yeah? You know I ain’t judgin’ you.”
The only thing that frustrates Joel, is that he comes, and you don’t.
And it’s not a frustration with you. No, it’s a hot faced guilt that spreads through him every time you fuck. Evident in those frantic touches, desperate pleas of your name, of tell me what to do, tell me how to help, of fuck I’m sorry.
Because you still want him, despite it all. Still can’t help your wandering hands, your fingers that tease back his bed sheets and then his boxers and coax orgasm after orgasm out of him, night after night.
Tonight, you thought, would be no different.
Covers strewn across the end of your bed, pillows askew, you sit astride his lap.
It’s hot; the AC in your apartment has been broken all week, and your thighs are tacky with sweat where they press against his skin. Everything wet – sweat in your hair, slick between your thighs, the soft squelching sound that raises with every press of his cock inside of you.
“Fuck,” Joel pants, hands tight against your waist. “I can’t—goddammit, I’m not gonna last, baby.”
“It’s okay,” you moan, eyelids heavy as you rock your hips over his.
It’s late, and you both have work early in the morning, but the burn is so good like this. The heavy weight of him reaching so far, pushing the limits of what your body can take. For years it’s been your favourite way to fuck him; poised above his body, admiring the way his stomach tightens and his eyes roll when you sink down on his cock.
“What can I do?” his voice is strained, the veins in his neck bulging as he holds his breath – anything to stave off the impending high.
You only whimper pathetically, grinding your hips into his. Can feel everything in your stomach knotting up into a white-hot ball.
“Hey,” Joel urges, hand landing in a soft slap against your outer thigh. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t know,” you cry out, shaking your head. “It’s right there, but I…”
“But what?” he murmurs, hips snapping up again.
“I don’t think I can,” you finally admit, eyebrows drawn tight in frustration. Your lower lip is bitten raw at this point, incessantly gnawed at by your own teeth. His grip tightens on your hips and he drags you upward until his length slips out, falling against his stomach with a wet smack.
“C’mon, tell me what you need,” he says quickly, and you’re sure that the desperation you see in his eyes is mirrored in your own. Pupils blown round and fat, endless black—pleading.
You stare down at him for a moment. Watch the way his chest heaves with harsh, stilted breathes. How little dots of sweat have gathered at the hollow of his throat. And fuck, you want it so bad.
“Top drawer,” you exhale roughly, pointing to the side table.
Joel doesn’t question the order. Doesn’t say a word as he spreads a long arm across the bed, yanking the drawer open and shoving his hand inside. You watch him rifle around for a moment, pulse increasing as you wait for him to find what you want. What you need. And you can tell when he does; his shoulders stiffen and he lets out a choked sort of sound, pulling out the black wand and shoving it into your hand.
“Show me,” he says, eyes wild.
Your finger drops down against the button, turning your hand to show him which one to press.
“There’s four settings,” you murmur, slipping it back into his palm.
“Does this normally help?” he asks, grunting softly as you grip his cock, notching the tip back at your entrance.
“Sometimes,” you sigh, sinking down, sucking in the heavy weight of him. “Can still take a—a little while.”
He presses the button tentatively, watching as the rounded head of the wand starts to vibrate. Spread open around him, he can see your swollen little clit so easily, and he lowers the wand to press against it. Your body jolts forward, mouth splitting open with a groan as heat flares through you. Your hips stutter against him instinctively, chasing that intense feeling, and he looses a gravelly moan at the feeling of your wasted cunt squeezing around him.
“Look at that,” Joel grunts, dark eyes trained on your face. That wicked pink tongue slips out to wet his lips and he nods in encouragement. “I know, baby, I know it’s a lot, you feel good?”
“Yes,” you gasp, jaw going slack as you settle into the feeling. “Fuck, yes, it’s good, it’s good.”
It’s nothing you’ve ever felt before; nothing your past boyfriends had ever been comfortable enough to try. It has the muscles in your thighs tensing up already; the thick press of his cock paired with that unrelenting, almost overbearing, vibration.
“Can feel it,” he hisses out, head tilting back into the mattress.
“Yeah?”
“Mm,” he nods, expression grim. The muscle in his jaw twitches. “So fuckin’ tight like this. All wound up, y’need it so bad, I know.”
You moan, eyelids fluttering as he presses the button again, notching it to a higher speed. You lift up slowly and then press back down over him, and the two of you groan in unison. His free hand falls against the curve of your ass and he squeezes, encouraging you to rock against him, starting up a steady pace.
One of your hands settles on your chest, fingers twisting and pulling at your nipples. You need more, always more, something, anything.
“Look so fuckin’ good like this,” Joel mutters, and you can tell how fucked out he is already as he watches you. Dark eyes glazing over, mouth hanging open deliriously. “My pretty girl, so damn good for me.”
Your heart stumbles in your chest and you whimper, appreciation for him flooding your senses. He’s been so close for so long tonight already, teetering precariously on that edge but holding off for you. Fucking you into the mattress before pulling out and tucking his face between your thighs, doing his damnedest to get you to that same place. Urging you to get on top, to take what you needed, to use him to get yourself off.
“I love you,” you mumble breathlessly, eyes pinching closed as something sharp starts to tingle at the bottom of your stomach.
“Fuck, fuck,” Joel snarls, hips snapping upward.
“What ar—” your words cut off with choked moan as he clicks the button again, and then again, taking it to the highest speed. Your shoulders shake and you tilt forward a little, hand gripping his shoulder to steady yourself.
“Joel,” you cry out, chest heaving and stomach tightening.
Your fingers wrap around his wrist, searching for something to ground yourself against. That firm press against your clit doesn’t falter for a second, and you let out a rough moan.
“Good,” he grunts. “Good girl, give it to me.”
The muscle in his bicep spasms and strains beneath the skin, everything pulled taut as he keeps the wand pressed firmly against you. And it’s almost painful, the way you can feel your high coiling inside you, burning, but never quite reaching fever pitch the way you need it to.
A symphony that builds and billows and writhes within you. Sloping swells of violins and cellos and trumpets. Up, up, up to that shattering crescendo you just can’t seem to reach.
“Joel,” you mewl, and there’s tears in your eyes, on your cheeks. Hot, fat tears that stain your face now, dripping from your chin to splatter against his chest.
“C’mon now,” he grunts, hips shifting up off the bed, meeting you thrust for thrust. The stretch of his cock is so wide, so deep, and every shift of his body punches the air from your lungs.
“I don’t know if I can,” you shake your head, stomach on fire. The vibrations are so intense, the speed so fast, you can feel your clit going numb beneath it. But Joel doesn’t pull away, doesn’t stop the fast pace of his hips. The muscles in his abdomen twitch under you, tan skin glistening with sweat.
“You’re so close,” he goads, jaw tight. “Don’t fight it, baby.”
“Stop moving,” you beg then, your voice a high keen. Joel stills instantly, wary eyes darting across your face. He doesn’t pull the vibrator away though. Not yet.
“Fuck,” you cry out, hand firm against his stomach. “Just let me-just—”
Knees on fire against the bed, you grind your hips down into his. Gasp as his cock presses hot and heavy against something deep inside of you that sets your entire body shaking, vibrating against him; buzzing at the same high-speed rhythm as the wand between your legs. You rut against him again and again and then something pulls tight and hot at the base of your spine.
“Oh, fuck,” you gasp, eyes widening. “Oh god, Joel, I think—”
“Shh, I know, I know,” he moans. A bead of sweat rolls from his hairline to his chin. “You’re okay, let it happen.”
“Touch me,” you say, breathless and needy and so so desperate. “Fuck, please.”
Joel groans – a deep, guttural thing. A sound that comes from somewhere in the base of his stomach. It rattles your bones and has your fingernails digging into his stomach, and then his hand is on your chest. Rough fingers squeezing and stroking and pinching and you’re gasping, keening his name as he whispers frenzied words of encouragement and it’s building it’s building it’s building and and and—
Everything goes silent when you come. It’s all blurred vision and deafened ears; an intense ache in your jaw from the way your mouth hangs open. You can feel a vein in your neck, raging beneath the skin; a staccato rushing sound that echoes inside your head.
And you think you can hear Joel’s voice, somewhere beyond it all; Fuck, there it is, good girl, good fuckin’ girl.
When your eyes flutter open, you can only see Joel’s face swimming in your vision. His eyes rolling back, lips parted as he snarls your name.
“Fuck,” he spits. “—yeah, that’s it, there we fuckin’ go.”
You feel his cock kick inside of you; fast jerking spasms and then a warm rush as he starts to come. Your hand wraps around his, pushing the wand to the side of the bed, but he doesn’t fucking stop. He grips your waist and fucks up into you, spitting curses and warbled slurs of your name as he pumps you full of his hot spend.
It’s obscene – a mix of your come and his, squeezing out around his girth and smearing against the inside of your thighs. It pools around the base of his cock and you whimper at the sight, swollen cunt still tightening around him. Only when you start to sag down against his chest does he rest, his thighs twitching and tensing with the aftershocks of his high.
Joel raises a hand, calloused thumb brushing the tears from your cheeks. Then, carefully, he grips the back of your neck, guiding you down to rest against his chest.
Your shoulders slump and you press a lazy kiss against the jut of his collarbone. And for a moment there’s just this. No sounds but that of heavy breaths and a soft buzzing, forgotten somewhere in the sheets. The swipe of his fingertips down your spine, your lips against his salty skin. A gentle tap against your waist and he’s slipping out of you with a sigh, but not letting you pull away, not letting you move from where you’ve collapsed directly on top of him.
“Missed that,” you slur sleepily, fighting to keep your eyes open.
“Me too,” he mumbles. “Did so good. Made me proud.”
“S’that right?” you smile against his skin.
“S’right, baby.”
You hum, dragging your head up to press a kiss against his mouth. Both of you so exhausted that it’s just a brief, lazy swipe of your lips, but it’s enough. It’s thank you.
“Shower?” he suggests softly, smiling up at you.
“Or… cigarette?” you respond, eyebrows raised, teasing.
“Watch it,” he smarts, laying a quick smack against your ass before nudging you off of him. He stands and holds out a hand to help you off the bed, tutting underneath his breath. “Although I guess you’ve earned it.”
a/n: in hindsight, idk why the fuck i wrote that it took them six months to try this but what can you do lmao.
thank you for reading! x
#my writing#fic: take your medicine#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller one shot
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★ THOUGHT OF CALLIN' YA, BUT YOU WON'T PICK UP / 'NOTHER FORTNIGHT LOST IN AMERICA / MOVE TO FLORIDA IOWA, BUY THE CAR YOU WANT / BUT IT WON'T START UP 'TIL YOU TOUCH, TOUCH, TOUCH ME ─── PB⁵ (part 2/2)
❪ requested -> paige and ex gf!reader that plays on iowa where theres a lot of tension on the court bc they ended on rough terms but u can see that they still care abt each other yet have to prioritize the game // hii could u write for paige x ex gf iowa!reader where they play against each other in the final four and everyone can tell theres sm tension on the court between them bc they ended on rough terms ? they still care abt each other a lot but r forced to put those feelings aside for the sake of the game (but they def had a talk afterwards) - u can make it so that iowa still won or uconn won i think either one would be interesting ! tysm ❫ part one!!!!!!!!!!!!
─ warnings | dramatic as FUCK, resolution type shit, iowa v. uconn but like i changed a bunch of stuff so it's not "canon" to real life LMAO. uhhh angst?? idk?? HAPPY ENDINGGG!!!!!!!
─ ev's notes | i just picked LA sparks cause thats the team i want paige to go to but uh it might not be realistic, also this will make sense when u finish ;)
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APRIL 1, 2024
THE AIR WAS ELECTRIC in the arena as the final buzzer sounded, sealing UConn’s victory over USC in the 2024 NCAA Finals.
Confetti rained down, and the deafening roar of the crowd filled the space as the Huskies celebrated their hard-fought win. Paige Bueckers, at the center of it all, was surrounded by her teammates, hugging and shouting in excitement.
Hours later, the team was at an afterparty, the celebratory atmosphere continuing. Music blared, and laughter filled the room as the players enjoyed their victory. Paige, drink in hand, was beaming, her joy evident to everyone around her. She had worked so hard for this moment, and it was everything she had hoped for. She overcame her ACL injury and everyone who had doubted her, she'd ─ no, they'd ─ made it to the Final Four.
As Paige moved through the crowd, accepting congratulations and sharing in the excitement, her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out, glancing at the screen. It was a news alert about the NCAA tournament brackets.
"Iowa knocked out LSU," Paige read aloud, her brow furrowing. The notification showed that Iowa had defeated LSU in a close game, securing their spot in the next round. This meant that UConn would be playing against Iowa next, and therefore against Y/N L/N.
The realization hit Paige like a ton of bricks. She stood still for a moment, the noise and celebration around her fading into the background. She was going to have to play against you.
The same Y/N who had been such a significant part of her life (arguably was the most important part), who she had argued with and ultimately lost, who had moved on and found success elsewhere.
A mix of emotions surged through Paige — anxiety, determination, and a hint of sadness. She hadn't seen you played alongside you since your explosive breakup and your transfer to Iowa. Now, they were going to face each other on one of the biggest stages in their collegiate careers.
Nika noticed Paige's sudden change in demeanor and walked over. "Hey, what's up? You look like you've seen a ghost, we won the game, remember?" she tried to lighten the mood as she smiled.
Paige forced a smile, shaking her head slightly. "Nah, it's just... LSU lost to Iowa. We're going to have to play them next."
Nika raised an eyebrow, understanding dawning in her eyes. "Oh. Y/N."
"Yeah," Paige replied, taking a sip of her drink to steady herself. "Y/N."
Aaliyah joined them, catching the tail end of the conversation. "What about Y/N?"
Paige sighed, glancing between her friends. "We're going to play against her in the next round. Iowa knocked LSU out."
Aaliyah gave a sympathetic nod. "Oh shit. That's... that's going to be intense."
"Tell me about it," Paige muttered. She took a deep breath, trying to push aside the personal turmoil and focus on the challenge ahead. "But we have to be ready. This isn't just about me and Y/N. It's about the team. We have to win."
Nika clapped Paige on the shoulder, offering a reassuring smile. "Exactly. And we will. You've got this, P. We'll face whatever comes our way together."
It left a bitter taste in their mouth, Y/N ─ their (besides Paige, obviously) good friend and old teammate ─ now, they had to knock her out or vice versa.
Aaliyah, sensing Paige's inner turmoil, leaned in closer. "Paige, you've always been one of the strongest people we know. You can handle this. And who knows, maybe facing Y/N will bring some closure."
Paige nodded, appreciating Nika's words. "Yeah, maybe. It just feels... complicated."
Nika chimed in, her tone supportive yet firm. "It is complicated, but remember why we're here. We've worked too hard to let anything distract us now. We owe it to ourselves and to our fans to give it our all."
Paige took a deep breath, steeling herself. "You're right. This is about the team and our goal. We need to stay focused."
Aubrey, who had been quiet, suddenly spoke up. "Y/N is a great player, but so are we. We’ve got each other's backs, and that’s what matters. We’re Huskies, and we fight together."
The next day, practice was intense. The team worked tirelessly, their focus razor-sharp. Coach Geno was relentless, pushing them to their limits. Paige appreciated the rigorous drills, as they helped distract her from her thoughts about Y/N.
──
"Didn't you like, date Paige?" Gabbie spoke up as she glanced toward you, a curious expression on her face. "Like, Paige Bueckers at UConn?"
Everyone was in your hotel room, trying to recover from the afterparty last night. LSU was a hard fought win and everyone was really feeling the win, especially after the controversy from last year so obviously that meant drinks with the team.
Gabbie and Jada were on your bed, Kate had her head on your shoulder as Caitlin struggled to keep her eyes open, despite her laying upright in the chair.
Kate's head perked up at the name, looking up to gauge your expression. It'd been a while since someone (other than reporters) asked you about her, your heart skipping a beat at the mention. The only people who really knew what really happened were Caitlin and Kate, you didn't want to open up about it to anyone else.
Caitlin's eyes opened as she gave you a look. She wanted to speak up before you answered, giving her a nod.
"Yeah, uh a while back." You answered with a nervous smile, feeling the weight of everyone's attention. The room, filled with the soft sounds of recovery and idle conversation, seemed to focus in on you for a moment.
Gabbie raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "Wow, that's wild. Must be kind of crazy having to play against your ex in such a big game."
Kate shifted slightly, giving you a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder. Caitlin, still half-asleep, managed a supportive smile. You appreciated their silent encouragement.
"Yeah, it can be," you admitted, trying to keep your voice steady. "But at the end of the day, it's about the game and the team. We’re all here to win."
Jada, who had been quietly listening, chimed in. "That’s a good mindset. It’s gotta be tough, but you’re been handling it really well. Better than me,"
"Thanks," you replied, feeling a bit more at ease. "I just try to focus on what I can control. And right now, that's playing my best for the team."
Caitlin's eyes fully opened now, her gaze steady on you. "And you've been killing it. We wouldn't be here without you."
"Same goes for you, Cait," you responded, grateful for her unwavering support. "We’re all in this together."
Gabbie still seemed curious but nodded, respecting the boundaries you had set. "Well, for what it's worth, I think it's pretty badass. Turning something tough into motivation like that."
"Yeah," Kate added, her voice gentle. "And besides, we’ve got your back no matter what."
The room fell back into a comfortable rhythm, the conversation shifting to lighter topics. You felt a wave of relief, glad that the subject had been handled with sensitivity by your teammates. It reminded you of why you loved this team so much ─ their understanding, their support, and their ability to focus on what truly mattered.
As the evening wore on, you found yourself thinking about the upcoming game against UConn. It was inevitable that facing Paige would stir up old emotions, but you knew you were ready. Your time with Iowa had been transformative, helping you grow not just as a player, but as a person.
You had a team that believed in you, and you believed in them. That was enough to face any challenge, even one as personal as this.
The next day at practice, the atmosphere was intense but focused. The coaches ran through plays, strategies, and drills, emphasizing teamwork and communication. You felt a renewed sense of determination, ready to give it your all.
After practice, Caitlin and Kate approached you, their expressions serious yet supportive. "You good?" Caitlin asked, her concern evident.
"Yeah," you said, nodding. "I'm ready."
Kate smiled, her eyes reflecting pride. "We’re gonna crush it. Together."
You smiled back, feeling the warmth of their support. "Yeah, we are."
──
APRIL 5, 2024
"And here we are folks, the most anticipated of the season! The NCAA Women's Basketball Championship Final Four is about to tip off, featuring the Iowa Hawkeyes against the UConn Huskies!" The commentator's voice boomed through the packed arena, the excitement palpable among the sea of fans.
The camera panned over the teams warming up on the court. The Iowa Hawkeyes, led by their star player Caitlin Clark and Y/N L/N, looked focused and determined. On the other side, the UConn Huskies, with their legendary coach Geno Auriemma and standout players like Paige Bueckers and Nika Muhl, were equally intense.
"Tonight's matchup is not just a clash of two powerhouse teams, but a story of redemption and rivalry." The commentator continued. "Y/N L/N, former UConn star, now shining with Iowa, will face off against her old team. This game has all the makings of an instant classic."
Kate stood behind you, giving your shoulders squeeze as you let out a surprised yelp. "Ow!"
Kate smiled as she put her arm around you. "You nervous?"
You laughed, shaking off the nerves. "A little bit. It's a big game."
Kate squeezed your shoulder again, this time more gently. "You've got this, Y/N. We've all got your back. Just play your game."
You nodded, taking a deep breath. "Thanks, Kate. That means a lot."
As the team huddled up for a final pep talk, Caitlin took the lead. "This is our moment. We've worked hard to get here, and now it's time to finish what we started. Play for each other, leave everything on the court, and let's bring that trophy home!"
The team roared in agreement, the energy palpable as you broke the huddle and took your positions on the court. You were guarding Paige, that was the ultimate goal for you ─ make sure she does not score.
As you walked to the court, your gazes met and your heart sank. She looked determined, her eyes sharp and focused, a mirror of your own intensity. Her blue eyes carried years of memories, both beautiful and painful. There was a time when those eyes looked at you with nothing but love. Now, they were filled with a competitive fire, and something else ─ something you couldn’t quite place.
But you also knew that you were ready. You had trained for this, prepared for this, and you were not going to let her outshine you. She looked you up and down, but she kept her lips shut as you took your position.
Paige moved quickly, weaving through your teammates with a grace that was almost mesmerizing. But you were right there with her, matching her stride for stride. Every pivot, every fake ─ you were there, anticipating her moves as if you were still in sync, like you had been during the best of times.
The whistle blew, and the game began. The crowd's cheers became a distant roar as you zeroed in on Paige. Paige moved quickly, weaving through your teammates with a grace that was almost mesmerizing. She tried to shake you off with a quick pivot, but you anticipated her move and stayed in front of her, blocking her path to the basket.
You were right there with her, matching her stride for stride. Every pivot, every fake ─ you were there, anticipating her moves as if you were still in sync, like you had been during the best of times.
Right from the start, the intensity was through the roof. UConn came out strong, with Paige leading the charge. She was as formidable as ever, hitting shots from all over the court and orchestrating the offense with precision. But Iowa matched their intensity, with Caitlin and you leading the charge.
"Clark drives to the basket... passes to L/N... she shoots... and it's good! Y/N L/N ties the game at 20!" the commentator exclaimed.
As the game progressed, the physical exertion mirrored the emotional toll. Each bump, each shove, was a reminder of the walls that had gone up between you two. You could hear the crowd, the commentators, your coach shouting instructions, but it all faded into the background.
All you could focus on was Paige, everything about her almost felt like a ghost of someone who you'd known intimately but had somehow become a stranger. The familiarity of her movements, the way she dribbled the ball, the sheer determination in her eyes ─ it all brought back memories that you had tried so hard to bury.
As the game progressed, those memories kept flooding back. Late-night talks after practice, shared laughter over inside jokes, the way her hand used to fit perfectly in yours. Each interaction on the court was laden with unspoken words, with the weight of what once was and what could never be again.
In a particularly intense moment, Paige drove to the basket, and you fouled her hard, sending her sprawling to the floor. Time seemed to slow as you reached out a hand to help her up, your eyes locking onto hers. The crowd's noise dimmed, and for a brief second, it felt like it was just the two of you.
"I'm fine," she said, brushing off your hand and getting up on her own. But her voice was softer, lacking the sharp edge it had carried since the breakup.
"Sorry," you muttered, more for everything unspoken between you than for the foul itself.
She gave a curt nod, her expression unreadable as she walked to the free-throw line. You could see the conflict in her eyes, the same one that mirrored your own. Despite the competitive fire, there was an undeniable connection that neither of you could ignore, could ever ignore.
Midway through the first half, there was a brief pause in play. Paige looked over at you, her chest rising and falling with rapid breaths. "You're really making this tough," she said, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips.
"Just doing my job," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. Inside, you were a whirlwind of emotions.
The first half ended with both teams neck and neck. In the locker room, Coach Blunder gave a rousing speech, but your mind was elsewhere. You couldn’t stop thinking about Paige ─ the good times, the bad, and everything in between. The harsh words exchanged during the breakup, the regret that followed, and the lingering hurt that neither of you had ever fully addressed.
Each glance, each brush of your arms, felt like an electric shock. It was more than just a battle for victory; it was a confrontation of your shared past and the emotions you had both tried to suppress.
Back on the court, the tension was palpable. "Paige on the drive... she dishes it out to the wing, but L/N intercepts! What a defensive play!" The commentator’s voice boomed, but you barely registered it, too focused on the person right in front of you.
In a brief moment when the ball was out of play, Paige walked up beside you. "You're playing good, L/N," she said, breathless but sincere. It was the first civil thing she had said to you in months.
"Thanks," you replied, your heart aching. "You too."
The final minutes of the game were a blur. With the score tied and the clock winding down, Paige had the ball. She drove towards the basket, and you were right there with her. She went up for a shot, and you blocked it, the ball flying out of bounds. The whistle blew, and UConn called a timeout.
As both teams huddled up, coach emphasized the importance of the next play. "This is it. One more stop, and we win this."
When the game resumed, UConn inbounded the ball to Paige. She glanced at you, her expression a mix of determination and something else ─ something softer. She made a move towards the basket, but you stayed with her, your eyes never leaving hers. She pulled up for a jumper, and you leapt, your hand just grazing the ball enough to alter its trajectory.
"Caitlin grabs the rebound... she sprints down the court... passes to L/N... Y/N for the win... and it's in! Iowa takes the lead with seconds to spare!"
The buzzer sounded, and the gym erupted in cheers. Your teammates rushed to embrace you, lifting you high as the reality of your victory set in. You had done it. You had faced off against one of the best ─ and your ex ─ and emerged victorious.
You felt the tears of happiness trail down your face uncontrollably as you shouted, "We did it! We actually did it!" Your voice was almost drowned out by the roar of the crowd and the jubilation of your team.
As you were carried around in celebration, your eyes searched for Paige. Despite the euphoria of the win, there was a part of you that needed to see her, to understand her reaction. You spotted her near the sidelines, her expression a mixture of disappointment and quiet acceptance.
Gently, you extricated yourself from your teammates' embrace and made your way over to her. The noise of the gym seemed to fade into the background as you approached. Paige looked up, meeting your gaze with those familiar blue eyes that had once been your world, except now they were teary eyed.
"Uh, congrats, Y/N." She sniffled, her voice steady but soft. There was a depth of emotion in her eyes, a mix of pride and sadness that tugged at your heart.
"Thanks, Paige," you replied, your voice catching slightly. "You played an amazing game. You always do."
She nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. "You too. You deserved this win."
There was a moment of silence, a charged pause where the weight of your shared history hung between you. Finally, you broke the silence.
"I'm sorry," you whispered suddenly, your stomach twisting in gulit.
Paige scoffed, shaking her head. "For what? Playing your best? Don't apologize-"
"No. For having to be the one to take you guys out. I mean... you guys are my family," you felt your own tears build up in your eyes. "Were my family," you corrected quickly.
Paige's expression softened, her teary eyes locking onto yours. "We are a family, that doesn't just go away. But you have your own path to follow, Y/N. And it's okay. We all knew this day might come."
You felt a lump in your throat, struggling to find the right words. "I just... I never wanted it to end like this, with us on opposite sides."
Paige reached out, her hand finding yours and squeezing it gently and it felt like how it did, two years ago. "Life doesn't always go the way we want, but that doesn't mean what we had wasn't real or important. We grew together, and now we're growing apart. It's part of the journey."
You nodded, swallowing hard. "I just hope we can find our way back to being friends, someday."
Paige's smile was bittersweet. "Maybe. But even if we don't, know that I still care about you, and I always will. I never... I never meant what I said, I swear. I'm not angry anymore, I'm just proud."
The tears spilled over, but you managed to smile through them. "Thank you, Paige. That means more than you know."
Before you could even process it, Paige pulled you into a tight hug. She buried her face in your neck as you felt your tears flow freely, her breaths coming in hiccups. You hugged her back just as tightly, feeling the familiar warmth and comfort you had once known so well.
Her lips found your temple, pressing a kiss on to it. You squeezed her tighter, but it was a cathartic release, a letting go of all the hurt and tension that had built up over the past years.
After what felt like an eternity, Paige pulled back slightly, her eyes red and puffy but filled with a kind of peace. Before she could say it, you felt someone's hands on your back. You met the eyes of Nika, pulling her into a hug.
And soon, the seniors of your old team surrounded you, taking their own turn in hugging you and congratulating you. It was bittersweet moment, reunion tinged with the pain of separation but also the joy of shared memories and accomplishments. Each hug brought a new rush of memories, a reminder of the bond you had shared with these incredible women.
"Well, what a remarkable sight we're witnessing right now," the lead commentator said, his voice tinged with emotion. "It's not just about the victory for Iowa or the hard-fought battle for UConn. This is a moment of true sportsmanship and personal connection. You can see the genuine respect and love these players have for each other, transcending the rivalry and the outcome of the game."
His co-commentator nodded in agreement. "Absolutely. It's moments like these that remind us why we love sports. It's not just about the competition, it's about the camaraderie and the human stories behind the game. These athletes have given everything on the court, but off the court, they are still friends, still a family in many ways."
The camera panned across the court, capturing the emotional reunions and heartfelt embraces. It zoomed in on you and Paige, still holding hands and exchanging a few final words. The commentators fell silent for a moment, letting the images speak for themselves.
As you walked away, you felt a sense of closure. It wasn't the perfect resolution, but it was a step in the right direction. You turned back to your teammates, who had been watching the exchange with quiet understanding.
Kate came up to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "How are you feeling?" she asked gently.
You took a deep breath, feeling a sense of calm settle over you. "Better. Lighter, somehow."
Kate smiled and squeezed your shoulder. "Good. Now let's go celebrate!"
You laughed, the sound light and free. "Yeah, let's do that."
As you joined your teammates in the celebration, the noise and excitement of the gym washed over you. For the first time in a long while, you felt truly at peace. The future was still uncertain, but you knew you had the strength and support to face whatever came next. And that was enough.
──
"I just hope we can find our way back to being friends, someday."
"Maybe. But even if we don't, know that I still care about you, and I always will. I never... I never meant what I said, I swear. I'm not angry anymore, I'm just proud."
ESPN, APRIL 2025 Reunited Once Again | Paige Bueckers and Y/N L/N Embrace as Teammates Once Again with the LA Sparks
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↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers headcannons#uconn huskies#paige buckets#uconn#wcbb#uconn wbb#uconn wbb x reader#uconn wbb fic#wbb x reader#wbb smut#ncaa wbb#womens basketball#wbb#women's college basketball#uconn women's basketball#women's basketball#uconn women’s basketball#uconnwbb
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what if i gave rise leo BPD...
his anger manifests in the form of self-sabotage and self harm. he asks donnie to sound proof his room when they get to the new lair so he can wreck it without concerning everyone else. before that he'd sneak to the surface and wreck an already messy alleyway
his self harm is recklessness. he gets hurt in fights as much as he can and still get away with just a "please be more careful" lecture from raph
speaking of raph, his oldest brother is his favorite person. so when raph starts to brush him to the side and distrust him, he doesnt take it well. when he does something to impress raph and all he gets is "finally..." thats when he disappears for hours and comes back home with sore arms and usually some scrapes and many bruises
he becomes a medic because they can't ignore him if he helps them. plus he can get better at hiding his breakdowns if he can take care of his own injuries
he wants to be in the spotlight so bad until the spotlight shines on him and suddenly his skin fits wrong
splinter and raph brush it off as teenage hormones. donnie shuts it out. mikey is the first person to realize leo's moods aren't normal, but he doesnt want to confront the fact the bpd comes from trauma, so he tries to support leo as best he can
april doesnt realize how much leo's mood shifts until she spends a night in the lair and realizes that leo isn't as hyper as he presents himself. he tries to mask, but he's too tired and the sudden silence from leo throws april off. it creates a rift between them. even when leo is happier around april, she knows somethings wrong- knows its not quite as genuine as she thought.
she spends more time around donnie than leo and leo thinks its for the best. eventually all his brothers- all his family prefer spending time with someone thats not him. he tells himself its for the better- the less time they spend around him, the less likely he'll be upset around them and end up making them upset
leo convinces himself he's meant to be alone and puts his all into being the team medic and spends the rest of his time alone and dissociating. he hates being the leader- having everyones eyes on him all the time. watching him. waiting for him to mess up- to act out- to prove they were right not to trust him
.... idk.. just a thought
#rambles#hi its projection hours because yesterday was absolute shit#self harm#bpd#borderline#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise leo#rottmnt leo#borderline leo#vent#<- just in case cuz all of this is projection#if i catch anyone talking shit about this disorder in the comments ill fucking fight you#bpd is fucking ass and the only fucking relief is living vicariously through my favs so im gonna do that#leo has a family and is rarely ever truly alone so theres your happy ending#might make him hypersexual as well but if i do anything with that its not gonna be on this blog
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ᡣ𐭩 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗽.𝟭
child of dionysus x luke castellan 🍷
IN WHICH… the man you hate just can’t seem to leave you alone
warning! this fic contains- swearing // alcohol mentions // shitty parents // use of y/n // angst // daddy issues! // spoilers to tlt // probably not book accurate // implied sex!! // no actual smut, but definitely heavy illusions to sex (both characters are 18) // loss of virginity // drugs (medicinal) // blood // reader wears a swimsuit?? // reader gender isn’t mentioned i think // mentions of death/drowning // ends on an cliffhanger!!!
[a/n]-we’re just going to say tlt takes place in 2005, so luke and reader will have been born in 1986. also, incase you didn’t know, Hera doesn’t have any demigods, so her cabin is empty :)
part two is in progress, just wanted to put something out until then. also kinda ends on an odd note because it wasn’t intended to be multiple parts
🎧- night shift by lucy dacus
6.6k words (oopsies)
You hated Luke Castellan above all else.
Coming from you, that was a pretty bold statement, considering that you had a fiery hatred for plenty of things. Whether it be people who smacked their gum too loudly or ignorant gods who brushed off their children with no remorse, everything seemed to unwillingly ignite a spark in you. However, someone in particular really seemed to piss you off.
The mere sight of his stupid curls and even stupider scar hadn’t always awakened such a burning rage in you; in fact, he used to do the opposite. He was fourteen when you first met him.
April 13th, 2000
Luke had been placed into the chaos of Cabin 11, the other campers unfazed by a new demigod living with them as they carelessly bumped into his shoulder while playing tag. Old magazines scattered the wood floors, and dust covered the edges of his scrappy bed. With a sigh, he threw his bag onto the floor and escaped the overwhelming sensations provided by his siblings.
The light tour Chiron provided was seemingly useless as he mindlessly waltzed down to the lake, unsure of another quiet space to go to. He performed a quick glance around to ensure he was really alone, and then plopped down onto the rocky shore with a groan. Without his father and now Thalia, he wasn’t sure if he’d survive a night at this bullshit camp.
“You okay?” You emerged from the woods, staring at him with a concerned expression. He jumped slightly, startled by your presence since he literally just checked to see if he was alone. “Oh, uhm, yeah.”
“Wanna talk about it?” You asked, noticing the way his tone was so unconvincing while sitting down next to him and staring out at the view. It wasn’t typical of you to be so welcoming, but you had recently received dessert privileges back after getting them taken away for punching some Aphrodite girl, so a cheery mood was accompanied. He glared at you, slightly annoyed by the way you interrupted his moment of peace. But then again, you weren’t really bothering him, so he figured you could stay. You were also breathtaking, so how could he shoo you away?
“No.” Luke replied honestly after a moment of silence, a slight grimace decorating his features while thinking about his long past.
“Fair. I’m sorry about your friend.” You said, your voice filled with empathy rather than pity as you kept eye contact with the horizon despite the cooling wind that turned your eyes glossy and ruffled your neon orange shirt. “Thanks.” He muttered as the memories flooded his mind, to the point where he had to clench his teeth together so he wouldn’t cry.
“I’m Y/N. Child of Dionysus.” Turning around, you offered a friendly smile until you realized he had his head buried into the crook of his elbow and emitted gentle sniffles. “Oh shit, I’m sorry. Did I say something? I’m trying to work on it, I swear-“
“Does it ever get easier?” He interrupted, although his request came out muffled as he whispered into his skin.
“Well… sorta.”
“Sorta?”
“You get used to the whole Greek God thing, I guess.” You reply, avoiding the question he was clearly implying about his father being present. It wasn’t one you typically liked to talk about, along with most of the other campers with daddy issues. The truth was, you hated the gods for abandoning their children, but speaking out about that would have some brutal consequences. Let’s just say you would lose more than just dessert privileges for a week.
“I’m heading down to the bonfire; you should join.” You said after another long pause of silence, standing up and dusting the particles of sand that had collected on the bottom of your denim shorts.
“Okay.” He stood up, wiping his eyes, and followed you as you hiked through the trees.
“So, why were you stalking me again?” Luke spoke up with a sarcastic tone, stepping over the large tree trunks that had fallen down onto the forest floor.
“Woah, I was not stalking you, newbie.”
“Sure looked like it when you magically appeared out of the woods.”
“Well, I wasn’t, okay? Mind your business.” You snapped, the caring facade slipping away as you stared at him harshly enough to pierce his heart.
“Jeez, sorry.” Luke looked down at his feet, feeling a little guilty for being too pushy with practically a stranger. After seeing his suddenly reserved body language, you stopped the hike and faced him.
“Don’t apologize.”
“What?” His gaze averted back up to meet your cold expression.
“Don’t apologize. I was being a bitch. Stand up for yourself.”
“Uhh..” Luke was now extremely confused, looking around as if this was some sort of prank show with the way you switched up so fast.
“Let’s try again. I’m gonna say the sane thing, and you’re going to stand up for yourself. Kay?”
“I don’t-“ He started, but was quickly interrupted by you.
“Well, I wasn’t, okay? Mind your business.” You repeated from earlier, making your voice sound even ruder as you dramatically exclaimed.
“N-no? Is that what I’m supposed to say?” He questioned, still nervously glancing around and searching for some sort of explanation or another person hiding in the undergrowth to reveal it was a silly joke. You raised your eyebrows in disbelief at his terrible performance, blinking slowly as you scoffed.
“Oh gods. It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. Be more confident.” Stepping back, you repeated the sentence again. “Well, I wasn’t, okay? Mind your business.”
“No.” Luke said, this time with more pride, although he kept staring at you for a sign of approval. “Good!” You supportively with a grin, turning to continue your walk. And after a sassy eye roll, Luke followed behind.
“Just trying to protect you from the Ares kids. They can be assholes.” You happily explained, a little too cheery for someone who just snapped at him.
“Yeah, okay.”
Luke knew he should be bothered by your interesting behavior. I mean, most would, but deep down, he liked how you were empathetic in such a strange way. It made him feel human, instead of like a tourist attraction that people whispered sweet nothings to and stared at curiously.
“Don’t take anyone’s shit, and soon enough you’ll be swimming in kleos.” You stated, swaying with every step and providing plenty of hand gestures.
“Kleos?”
“Glory. Everyone here is basically fighting to be respected.”
“Oh. Shouldn’t everyone just be respectful?” He obliviously asked, ducking under a low, hanging branch.
“They should, but they aren’t. But with glory, it makes you important. People sit up when you walk in the room; stay out of your way; things like that.”
“Wait, so I just have to stand up for myself, and suddenly I’m all important?”
“Sometimes. Usually, though, you have to major in some skill. Archery, sword fighting, healing, etc. You been claimed yet?”
“Yeah, Hermes.”
“Oh.” You replied, dissatisfaction noticeable.
“Oh??” Luke questioned, offended and sounding a little more rude than he intended.
“It’s not really a bad thing. Just different demigods are usually good at certain stuff. With Hermes, they typically tend to be good liars.”
“What’s your talent?” Luke asked, causing you to go quiet for a minute while thinking.
“Well, I’m really good at poker. That’s about it.”
“You’re a good talker, too.” He said, causing you to shoot him a threatening glare.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean, you give decent advice, and you’re pretty welcoming. That’s a plus.” He instantly backtracked.
“Half of the camp would disagree with you on that. Turns out hostility doesn’t get you the best reputation.”
“You’re hostile?” Sure, you may have had a little anger management problem, but hostile? You seemed sweet enough to Luke, at least.
“I don’t talk to all the newbies like this.”
“Then why me?” Luke, from his understanding, wasn’t special. He didn’t stick out. He wasn’t super hot, smart, or funny. He was just average, in his opinion.
“Dunno. Why not?” You said, which wasn’t entirely true. He just seemed different, like he was hiding more beneath the surface. Similar to a puzzle that you needed to solve, except if you didn’t, you’d be burdened with a painful itch of curiosity for the rest of eternity.
“Hm, Fair. But what should I try to achieve kleos?”
“Don’t go for archery or healing; the Apollo kids will smoke you. Maybe sword fighting? I could show you the basics sometime.”
“Sword fighting it is.”
May 21st, 2001
"Where were you during arts and crafts?" You asked while sitting down next to Luke at lunch, clearly irritated by his absence during this morning's activities.
"I was-" He tried to explain, but you had already taken his hands and begun to inspect them, your touch shutting him up. You huffed in annoyance while gently tracing over his callouses and cuts.
"You were training again."
"I just needed more practice. I didn't mean to-" He started, feeling remorse for not showing up, but you were there to quickly interrupt him.
"Save it. I have bandages back at my cabin; let's go. It's the least you can do for leaving me with your siblings all morning." You slammed your hands on the table, standing up and practically dragging Luke to follow you (he would have followed even if you didn't force him).
Once a long distance away from the pavilion, you brought up a topic he wasn't the most comfortable with. "Training to prove yourself?" He swallowed back his anger, not wanting to lash out at you, despite the fact that you could obviously take it.
"Maybe I am. Who cares?"
"I do. Stop caring about the gods so much."
"Easy for you to say. Your father's here." Luke mumbled mockingly under his breath, barely above a whisper, but you heard.
"I'm not sure he even knows my name. He's a drunk dumbass, not exactly great dad material." This shut him up, his gaze traveling to the dirt floor until you reached Cabin 12. Silence and tension filled the air as you opened your backpack, scouring for the gauze and anticipatant. Gripping his wrist with a rage-filled force, you carefully rubbed the Neosporin over the red cuts and wrapped his palms with the stretchy material gifted by an Apollo friend.
"Don't say I don't care about you. You know I do." You whispered, breaking the quiet atmosphere and filling it with fiery love.
"But he doesn't."
"So?"
"He's my father. He should."
"You should stop focusing on what you don't have. Working yourself to the bone won't improve your relationship."
He didn't respond, not having an argument or a sassy comment whipped up, because you were right. He manufactured this mindset that if he was good enough, if he had glory, Hermes would finally notice him and would finally love him. However, there was always a little voice in the back of his head that made him doubt all of his hopes for a family. You just amplified that voice like a microphone.
"And you left me alone with your brothers. Bleh." You smiled, trying to lighten the mood a little while tying off the first bandage.
"C'mon, they aren't that bad."
"You should have heard how they were talking about Julia from Aphrodite Cabin."
"Ew." He laughed, looking at you while you concentrated on wrapping his last hand. You looked so stunning like this, with your pearly teeth peeking between the skin of your lips and your eyes squinting while focusing on making sure it was perfect. He was truly a dumbass, focusing on the gods while you were right in front of him. "Done." You said while tucking in the end of the gauze. He hinged his hand open and shut a few times to make sure it was sturdy, and of course it was.
"Thank you." Luke praised you, not just for patching him up, but for caring.
"Anytime. Hey, I made you something during arts and crafts." You dug through your plastic junk drawer, clinking around all the junk in search of something specific.
"Hm?"
You snatched up a small beaded necklace from the drawer before extending your hand and showing it to him. It was crumpled up, the flimsy string intertwined with itself and the beads out of order, so he picked the jewelry up and awed at the handmade piece. It was wooden beads painted in deep burgundy paint with your first name spelled out in Greek letters, strung on black elastic.
"It's gorgeous." Was all he could manage to utter out, still starstruck by the thoughtfulness of your gift.
"Thanks. We should probably get back to lunch before it's over." You replied, and for the first time in Luke's year of knowing you, you look flustered. You nervously glanced down at the laces to your shoes and fiddled with your fingers, even swaying from the tips of your toes to the back of your heels.
"Yeah, yeah." He agreed, slipping the necklace on and walking out with you behind him. For the rest of the day, he was all smiles and giggles, with others unsure of why he was in such a good mood. Until the inky night sky swallowed the bright blue light, and nightmares came with it.
Most demigods were prone to the occasional bad dream, but Luke was a frequent victim of Hypnos’ curse. Every other night was filled with images of losing what he loved, but he was too embarrassed to talk to someone about it, so he suffered silently.
That night, the dreams were particularly horrific, to the point where he awoke covered in sweat and probably some tears, too. His mind debated whether or not sneaking out and waking you up was a bad idea, but the thought of staying awake alone in his bed another minute scared him more than any profanity you could throw at him for interrupting your “beauty sleep.”
Tiptoeing silently outside the hot cabin, his heart pounded as he traveled to your room next door. He was still in flannel pajama pants and an old tee shirt with some vintage band plastered on it, the chilling wind erupting goosebumps.
Luckily, your bed was right next to a window, which he promptly (and quietly) tapped on to wake you up. A few groans and twists later, you slid open the glass and gawked at him.
“Luke, what the fuck are you doing?” You whisper-yelled, praying to the gods none of your siblings woke up and started bitching.
“I had a nightmare.”
“You woke me up at two in the morning because you had a nightmare?”
“Please, I just need someone to talk to.” Hearing the desperation and seriousness in his voice, you couldn’t possibly reject him, no matter how tired you were.
“I’ll be out in a second.”
Sliding the window shut, you slipped on some sandals and exited to see Luke, who was standing on the porch.
Walking down the steps with him tracking behind, you waited until you were isolated by the lake to talk. “Everything okay?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been having really bad nightmares lately, and I know that sounds stupid, but I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Have you tried talking to the Apollo kids? It’s not rare for them to deal with insomnia.”
“Well, no. It’s humiliating. It’s taken me a year to talk to you about it, and you’re my best friend.” Luke skimmed past the term ‘best friend’, unsure if you felt the same. It was stupid; you were definitely his best friend, but what if he wasn’t yours?
“First of all, it’s not. But I don’t mind talking to them. I can say I’m having nightmares, and they’ll probably give me melatonin, and then I can give it to you.”
“You’d do that? Smuggle drugs for me?” He spoke softly, the moonlight enchanting his features.
“Course. You’re my best friend.”
December 27th, 2002
“Are you fucking kidding me?” You yelled at Luke in the empty Hera Cabin, angrier than ever. Word had spread to you like wildfire of a quest Luke had accepted, despite the fact it was a suicide mission.
“Listen-“
“No! You told me you didn’t care about the god’s approval anymore. And now you’re going on some bullshit quest?! You’re a fucking dumbass.”
“I just need one chance to prove myself to him.” He pleaded, begging for you to understand and forgive him, even though he knew you weren’t the “forgive and forget” type. Honestly, he was about 80% sure you were still holding a grudge against him for stealing the dessert off your plate three months ago.
“Why aren’t you happy where you are? You’re the best swordsman at camp in three hundred years; half the girls here are in love with you, and everyone practically worships the ground you walk on!”
“I don’t care about them.”
“Do you not care about me, either?” You spoke softly, which was a dramatic shift from the heated yelling a few seconds ago.
“What? Of course-“ Luke cared about you more than anything— more than himself or any silly god. It wasn’t very far-fetched to assume that he even loved you, although his anxious self would never admit anything of the sort. But this quest was a dream of his, and it wasn’t possible for him to just give it up.
“Whatever. I’m done with your bullshit.” You cut him off and stormed out, leaving him to watch you walk away with an aching pain in his heart. That wound was left open as he set out for his journey that night, along with two other campers who were slightly underqualified.
The quest went to shit the minute they left camp’s solace, with monsters attacking from every direction. However, he and his companions were able to make it to the guarded tree with only a few minor injuries.
Until Luke reached for the golden apple and was sliced by the dragon who protected the fruit. Blood gushed out of the cut that decorated his eye as he stumbled away. The loss of blood and shock caught up to him, and eventually he lay in the arms of his friends, fading in and out of consciousness.
The idea that your life flashes before your eyes when you're near death is indeed true. Memories of previous years flooded his brain, from his childhood to his teen years (which mainly consisted of you). As the light faded away, all he could think of was how he never admitted his love to you and how your last interaction with him was an argument.
The next time he awoke, he was in the camp infirmary, dazed as he slowly blinked the sleep away from his eyes. The teenage nurses yelled at him as he slowly stood up and deliriously walked outside, but he couldn’t care less. He just wanted to see you and apologize. His near-death experience was a wake-up call, a sign that what he was feeling towards you wasn’t just friendly admiration.
Luckily for him, you were waiting for him outside, sitting on a wood bench as you anxiously bounced your leg. As he stumbled out the door, you immediately stood up and rushed towards his weak body. What caught him off guard was the way you hugged him instantly, wrapping your arms around his torso while burying your head in his chest. For the first time in days, you were able to breathe, inhaling his musky scent rapidly. The fight had taken a toll on you. You lied awake at every night scared out of your mind that he would die hating you.
“I’m so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things, I was just angry at you for leaving me, but-” You rammbled into the cloth of his shirt, the vibrations on his skin making his heart flutter.
“Don’t apologize.” He said with a loopy smile, making you laugh with relief while remembering the first time you met. His original plan of confessing his love to you the moment he woke up with a dramatic spiel was immediately thrown in the trash as he looked at you from above. The worries of ruining this magical friendship you had spent two years building overtook the joys of the possibility that a new relationship would blossom. So for now, he was comfortable being friends with you. Best friends.
The stares from others went unnoticed, Luke too enchanted by your warming touch to see the way others gawked at him from afar, like he was a monster. Not until the next day, when he wasn’t drugged, at least.
When he looked in the crowded bathroom mirror the next morning after plenty of rest, it almost scared him. His gash was a beaming red with dried maroon blood on the edges and a violet hue discoloring the nearby skin. Swallowing nervously, he did his best to clean it up with warm water before rushing to the picnic tables for breakfast, where you sat munching on cereal.
“You’re the most brutally honest person I know. How bad is it? Like, can I even show my face anymore?” He blurted out, causing you to glance up with a slight panic. After a few seconds of consideration, you replied.
“It makes you look badass.”
“Are you sure?”
“Definitely. Go get something to eat and come back to talk to me.” Luke responded with a nod, heading off to grab a quick breakfast. With a tray of pancakes in his hand, he returned and sat down across from you.
“So?” You waited eagerly for some explanation of his trip.
“It went like shit. You’re right, I’m not good enough.”
“Woah, I never said that.”
“You implied it.”
“That’s not what I meant. I meant you shouldn’t rely on your successes or failures to determine your worth.”
“Same thing.” He retorted with a scowl, stuffing his mouth with food.
“Not even close. So, what’d you learn?”
“That I need to train harder.”
“Holy shit, you are a dumbass.” You said with a long blink and a theatrical sigh.
“Can we talk about something else?”
“Sure. How’s Annabeth?” Annabeth and you were always so different, but somehow that made you closer. She spent her hours strategizing and acting like an adult, and you spent yours playing games and wishing you were younger. Regardless, she was like a little sister to you.
“She’s… like usual.” Luke replied with a crinkle of his lips.
“Mm, so she’s still forcing herself to be an adult at nine?”
“Yeah, just about.”
“We should get her to play poker with us one night. Help loosen her up a little.”
“Not a chance.”
March 19th, 2003
You and Luke stood side by side, anxiously waiting for Capture the Flag to start, while Chiron yapped about the rules. You’d already heard the whole spiel of instructions multiple times, so naturally you grew bored, and your mind wandered off to the boy beside you.
He looked like a true warrior, with his pointy metal helmet that somehow sharpened his features. Over the past few summers, he had grown significantly, and the puff on his cheeks had thinned out. Needless to say, he wasn’t short of admirers.
You painfully watched as hundreds of girls fawned over him and even began to dread getting ready in the bathroom because of how many praises were thrown at him.
Luke sensed your annoyance from afar, although it wasn’t hard to notice by the way you scowled every time someone approached him with a new compliment. However, he thought you were just envious of the praise he received. In reality, you felt threatened, like someone would steal your spot in your best-friend-who-sometimes-flirt-with-each-other relationship with him. He would never let it happen though, even if you weren’t aware.
“Let the games begin!” Chiron yelled, snapping you out of your daydreaming session.
“You take the east side of the forest, I take the west, we meet up in the middle, right?” You wanted to confirm the Athena cabin’s strategy with him, to which he replied with a quick nod.
“Mhm. See you on the flip side.”
“See you on the flip side, Castellan.” You both turned to the different small groups that you were leading, setting out on foot to start your plan.
Annabeth and a few other geniuses had spent the past two weeks carefully crafting a flawless plan for today’s Capture the Flag game. You and Luke would attack, traveling into their side of the woods, while the rest would defend.
While you might not have been the best swordsman, you were a master of trickery and deception and decent at fist fighting. Plus, you had a solid team backing you up.
“So basically, we just need to fight some of the red team and then meet up with Luke and his group in the middle. Kay?” You instructed to your acquaintances, who diligently followed behind you as you hiked through the evergreen trees, until you saw a few of the other team lurking around. With a surprise attack, you were able to defeat them, with little of your squad lost in the process.
You kept on trekking through the dark depths of the forest before spotting some of the best members of the red team, specifically Sam from Ares cabin.
They were the biggest asshole around, and extremely cocky for someone who was the second-best sword fighter in camp. Plus, they were always trying to get in your pants, along with every other counselor who was old enough. To be frank, they were super hot, but you weren’t interested in anyone currently. Well, anyone who wasn’t Luke Castellan.
Knowing you wouldn’t win this battle, you shuffled to the bushes and silently watched while thinking of a good plan.
“Nice try. Up. Slowly.” Sam said unexpectedly, causing you to sigh with frustration and calmly stand up, along with your teammates.
“So, you can either give up now and save yourself the trouble, or we can do the whole fighting thing and eliminate you that way. Your choice.” They stated with a smile, only egging you on.
“What a little bundle of joy you are.”
“Hm, okay, fighting it is.” They sliced for your stomach, the metal of their blade clinking with the iron of your breastplate. You were stunned at first, but immediately charged back while his goons attacked your friends.
The sound of swords slicing and heavy grunts filled the woods, alerting Luke, who was a decent distance away. Most of his teammates had been eliminated, so now it was just him and one other member. He lightly jogged to the scene, not caring too much.
Meanwhile, your group was putting up a solid fight, but so were they. You clashed swords relentlessly with Sam, while your teammates suffered a bloody battle. In a mere minute, all of your team had surrendered, but so had all of Sam’s team.
With every second that passed, your efforts got messier and energy your got lower, and it was apparent this wasn’t going to be your victory. With one clean slice, Sam nicked your arm violently, and you let out a scream in response. Unbeknownst to you, Luke heard your pain and panicked, changing his pace from a careless jog to a speedy sprint. His partner yelled at him, confused, but Luke just kept going, despite his muscles that ached like fire.
You grew exhausted, now just weakly defending yourself from every attack. Seeing how unfocused you became, Sam took this opportunity to swipe your feet with his leg and send you tumbling to the ground, disarming you in the process.
Both panting heavily, they shakily brought the blade to your neck and stepped on your torso to prevent less squirming.
“You’d be a lot hotter if you weren’t such a bitch.” They said, and before you could come up with a witty reply, Luke had charged from behind. Slicing at Sam with adrenaline-fueled anger, he instantly knocked them down to the floor.
“Don’t ever talk to them like that again, or I’ll seriously fuck you up. Okay?”
“Okay, Jesus! What are you, their boyfriend or something?”
Luke wasn’t sure how to reply, so he didn’t. Was this too protective of him? No, he was just helping a friend. Right?
“Just say you surrender already.” He mustered up.
“Fine, I surrender.” Sam mumbled, and Luke took his sword away while they fled. Then, he turned to you, who was watching the whole thing from the floor.
“Holy shit, thank you.”
“Anytime, sweetheart. They hurt you?” He replied with a grin, helping you up with his right hand.
“Nothing bad.” You responded, twisting your arm to get a glance at the cut. He winced with empathy while grabbing your wrist so he could get a better glance.
“Ouch. Go to the infirmary. It’s bleeding a lot.”
“Whatever. Go get the flag, trooper.”
You didn’t have to tell him twice. With a sly salute, you both headed your separate ways. Luke had a pep in his step as he jogged to the bright flag, forgetting all about his partner, who was somewhere in the trees far behind him.
You headed to the nurse, getting it cleaned and patched up easily before setting off to the lake. Sitting on a pointy rock, you waited mindlessly for this stretched-out game to end. Technically you were still in, but your match with Sam was enough fighting for the day.
Luckily, you didn’t have to wait long, because Luke emerged from the forest a few minutes later carrying a gleaming red flag with pride.
Standing up, you cheered with excitement as you ran up to him, squealing like a little girl. He stopped in front of you and dug the pole into the rocky shore with a grin. Still in awe, all you could manage out was a toothy smile in reply.
“Congrats, Castellan.”
“Eh, it was no big deal.” He joked, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.
“Whatever. Bonfire tonight!!” You laughed and made sure to yell out the last sentence for all of your teammates, who whooped with glee.
When the sun drifted down the horizon that night, you and dozens of campers headed down to the shore, where a sparking fire raged. The flames danced as you sat around, scattered on different logs. You currently sat on the floor next to Luke while he sat on the wood, leaning your back against the dead tree and ever-so-slightly brushing up against his legs.
Everyone had noticed your change in attitude over the last few years. You seemed bubblier and more happy because, well, you were. Falling in love with someone who had a chance of reciprocating feelings was heaven. Every long stare from across the room and gentle touch made your skin crawl with adoration. Maybe you should tell him. But why ruin everything?
As the night stretched on and the violet sky dissipated into a jet black that was freckled with stars, you grew sleepier. And after the third yawn in only ten minutes, you decided it was time to hit the hay.
“Okay, I’m calling it quits. Night guys!” You stood up before turning to Luke.
“Goodnight, Luke.” You whispered in such a caring tone that he felt shivers down his spine. Speechless, he watched with hearts in his eyes as you walked away.
“At least try and be discreet.” One of his friends laughed as soon as your figure went unseen.
August 2nd, 2004
“Absolutely not. No way!” Annabeth yelled at you.
You, Luke, and her all sat on the floor of Cabin 12 playing Uno because apparently gambling “isn’t appropriate for an eleven-year-old.” The problem was that you liked to make up your own rules, while Annabeth strictly stuck to what was written in the instructions.
“Beth, everyone plays this way! Just take your six!”
“If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?” She gave you her signature death stare.
“What are you, my mom? Luke, what’s your opinion?”
“Do not drag me into this.”
“I quit. I’m heading down to the lake, you guys wanna come?” You stated, slamming your mountain of red cards onto the floor and jumping up to search for a bathing suit in your dresser.
“I have archery training.” Annabeth said, grabbing her stuff and walking out.
“I’ll go.” Luke replied a little too eagerly.
“Okay. Meet me at the docks in ten?”
“Sure.” Using his bandaged palms to push off the wood floor, he left to go change.
Slipping into your black swimsuit, you threw a baggy shirt over it and skipped down to the shore, where Luke was waiting with his feet in the icy water.
“Hey.” You alerted him of your presence while sliding off your cover and tossing it down beside you. His breath hitched, and he couldn’t help but gawk at the slivers of your exposed skin. Nervously swallowing, he weakly replied. “H-hey.”
Ignoring the way he stuttered and stared, you jumped into the cool lake. The blue water engulfed you in a refreshing embrace, rolling off your skin as you emerged from the surface.
“I’ll race you to that buoy over there.” You pointed to the white float that bobbled up and down.
“Deal. Winner gets loser’s dessert for a week.”
“Deal.” You took off before he was even in the water, pushing off of the wood dock to accelerate forward.
“Cheater!” Luke yelled playfully before jumping in and following your path.
Eventually, he caught up and even reached the buoy first, grinning triumphantly as you paddled towards him.
“I hate you.” You mumbled, but the beaming smile plastered on your face told another story.
“Fine, you can keep your dessert privileges, but I still want bragging rights.” He offered, not caring a smidge about anything but making you happy.
“Gods, you’re such a good person.” You said, knowing you would have taken his food and flaunted on him for the next seven days.
“Race you back?”
“Fuck no. I’m tired.”
“I’ll carry you. The waters not too deep; you can sit on my shoulders while I walk.”
“You’ll drown.”
“I’m pretty ripped; I think I can manage carrying you one hundred yards.” He jokingly replied with a flex of his bicep, which was definitely appreciated by your wandering eyes.
“Sure. I’m not saving you if you do end up drowning, though.” You climbed onto his shoulders, and he gripped your calfs to help stabilize you and because he really just wanted an excuse to touch you.
“That’s a pretty badass way to die.” He said while trailing through the fresh liquid.
“To die while swimming through five-foot-deep waters?”
“Well, not when you phrase it like that.”
“How would you phrase it?”
“Glorious hero meets his fate at the lake with another counselor’s thighs wrapped around his head.”
You both froze with shock when he uttered his suggestive remark, even Luke not realizing his mistake until after. He felt his cheeks go hot and nervously tried to apologize for making you feel uncomfortable.
“Oh my gods, I swear I did not mean-“
You cut him off with a deep and angelic laugh, clearly not hurt by his poor choice of words.
“You’re a dumbass.” You choked out through heavy giggles, and he instantly relaxed upon realizing you didn’t think he was a complete pervert. Every laugh you released was like a weight off of his shoulders, and that was when he knew he could not shove his feelings down anymore.
Hours had passed, and you two ended up watching the sun fall by the lake while sharing a cherry red and white striped blanket. Not a word was whispered as you rested your head against his shoulder, his curls dripping onto your skin. He couldn’t help but smile as he felt your slow inhalation of the crisp air.
Once night arrived and the cicadas started chirping, it was finally time to break the comforting silence.
“I’m gonna go shower.” You said while slowly standing up and letting the towel drape off of your body.
“Me too.” Luke replied, getting up and placing the towel back on your shoulders so you wouldn’t have to brace the chilling breeze in a swimsuit. As you walked away, he couldn’t help but stare.
“Wait, I need to talk to you once you’re done. Meet me in the Hera Cabin after we’ve showered?” He called out after you, to which you nodded in response.
He needed to confess how he felt about you immediately, or his chest might actually explode. He needed to tell you about how his heart raced every time your touch lingered a second too long, how he ranted to Annabeth every night about the things you did that made him swoon, and how he was madly, head over heels, in love with you.
Once the musk of lake water had fully washed off, you headed to the infamous empty cabin, where Luke was waiting. His hair was still wet from the shower, causing his curls to separate, and he fidgeted with his fingertips while anxiously waiting for your arrival.
“You okay, Castellan?”
“No, I’m not, actually. I need to tell you something, like right now.” He stuttered out, his lip crunched up like he was in pain.
“You’re scaring me a little, but I’m all ears.”
“I love you.” Luke blurted out, the tension in the air increasing significantly with just three words.
“What?” It seemed as if the world had stopped, even the birds quieting down for a listen.
“I’m in love with you.” He repeated, like it was no big deal, like it was second nature.
“You love me?” You whispered out, almost like it was unheard for you to be loved.
“More than anything.”
You swallowed, thinking for a second while he awaited a response.
“I love you too.”
With the conformation of your words, he leaned in until the tips of his nose rubbed against yours. His lust-coated eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips, making it apparent what he wanted. Luke breathed in your fresh scent heavily while watching and waiting for a reaction—for you to pull away or do something.
Trailing a hand up into his hair, you delicately pushed his head until your lips met. His skin was honey-sweet as you gingerly kissed; it looked like something out of a romance movie. He forced himself to be a gentleman and pull apart after a few seconds, no matter how much he wanted to kiss you until his oxygen ran out.
Looking up into his eyes, you craved more. This built-up tension between you two was finally erupting, and it needed more than just a little kiss to be satisfied. So, you took charge and feverishly leaned in for more.
His hands cusped your cheek, carefully avoiding any boundaries you might have set up. That was until you snagged his bottom lip with your teeth, and he lost all self-control. The sweet kisses turned into a full-blown make-out session as he steadily snaked his hand down your torso and to the fat of your ass.
Only breaking for air when absolutely necessary, passion filled the atmosphere, along with hushed moans from the both of you. Luke warily trailed his hand upwards to your chest, and you could tell where this was heading. Panting, you removed your lips from his and spoke up.
“I’ve never.. I’m still…”
“Me too. Do you.. still want to?” He revealed, his heart racing while still daintily grazing your skin.
“Yes. Please.” You desperately nodded, like death was approaching if you didn’t continue. With that, he laid you down on the squeaky mattress of an unused bunk bed and hovered over.
“Gods, you look stunning.”
୨୧
part two in progress…
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So excited to share the mod i've been working on! Here is the Love Triangle Mod. Mapping this concept out was a bit difficult because I didn't wasn't sure how I was gonna go about creating the base structure. But I think it turned out fine in the end.
Here is everything you need to know:
Requirements for Love Triangle to appear
Romance Track with TWO Sims
Minimum 30+ Romance Score each
Once these options open up you will have the option to "Reveal Divided Heart". This would be underneath the Love Triangle pie menu (which is under the romance pie menu).
Note: Just because your Sim has revealed that they are in a love triangle, it doesn't mean that being romantic around either Sim won't result in jealousy. They can still experience jealousy; they are just aware that the Sim has feelings for them and another.
There a few interactions available for both the center and the two love interest.
Most of the interactions are pretty straight forward but that there are few that I will explain more.
The love interest also has quite a interactions available to them.
Ultimatum: The LI can also give the center an ultimatum. The options you can use after using the ultimatum interaction could be, "Open Relationship, End Relationship or Make Choice". But you do not have to. I wanted to make this as flexible as possible.
Since there are already lots of great open relationship mods, I didn't expand on that part because there are so many other ones that would be more fleshed out.
Your sim can also talk to someone they are close to about their predicament. The friendly love triangle option is available under the "Gossip/Other Sims" menu.
You also need to have a 80+ friendship level to have these interactions open up.
Explore Feelings and Reflect on Feelings are solo interactions. This basically involves your Sim think about how they feel. Depending on how high or low the relationship bar is with either sim you will can get a hint on how your sim is feeling about each Sim.
Finally there is the "Final Choice" . Once your Sim is ready to choose the SimPicker will popup. Be SURE to press on the Sim you are in Love Triangle with. Or else the game wont properly recognize that the Love Triangle is over.
No, it does not.
Credit for the pose: Here
What else do I need for the mod?
Lumpinou's Mood Pack Mod, so it is required for the mod to work properly.
You can get her mod here.
If you already have it great! But make sure it's up to date. Otherwise, it will break the UI
XML injector
I'm experiencing some weird bugs!
Let me know, please.
Report it here: Mod Bug Report
How to install the mod?
Electronic Arts/The Sims 4/Mods <--- Unzip the file and make sure it's placed in this path.
Download Here
Public April 24th
#the sims 4 cc#ts4cc#the sims 4#ts4 mods#ts4#the sims 4 mods#ts4 cc#the sims#simblr#sims 4 edit#the sims cc#ts4 download#ts4 mod#sims 4 mods#thesims4
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