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sabugabr · 3 years ago

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How "Loki" managed to make Loki's "outed" version also be their most heteronormative one

Well hello again!! This one's gonna be a single post, and relatively shorter than my previous ones (God I hope). I just want to get into one little detail that bothered me while watching Loki — the blatant heteronormativity of all that.

I'm not even talking about plot, the well is deeper ( that's a Brazilian saying, I don't know if it exists in English. Oh well)

SO KKKKKKKKKKK LOKI HUH. Unless you've been hibernating for the last few months, you probably know that some time ago, Disney+ debuted its third series on the platform, Loki, AND TUMBLR WAS ON FIRE. And there's already been a lot of discussion regarding some aspects of the series, some plot choices, well, all sort of things. However, I won't get into all the issues regarding his bissexual representation, or the gender fluidity issue, or even anything regarding Sylvie or Mobius. If you want to know more about it, you can have quick walk around tumblr, or even just go and see what Russell T. Davies has to say about it. It was a crazy ride, this series.

But I know there are a lot of different takes on this matters, and there're many ways in which you can relate to a media or story, and it's not my place here to meddle. If you liked the series, if the queer representation of this series was something that resonated with you, was something meaningful to you, that's genuinely great. So I'll abstain myself to my area of study, Visual Culture, and therefore what I want to talk about here is costume design. More specifically, Loki's.

(just a disclaimer, I'll be refering to Loki using he/him pronoums, since in the series is clear that he identifies himself as male. Also, I won't cover any aspects of Loki in the comics — or even Norse mithology or other medias —and their portrail there, because otherwise this would be WAY longer, so I'll just stick to the MCU)

So let's talk about queer coding, shall we?

1. QUEER CODING

Ok so, let's say you walk into a room full of queer people and ask anyone who loved Disney villains as a kid to raise their hand.

There'd probably be a very fair share of hands up, right? I mean, I know mine would. The relationship between Disney and queer kids has always been an interesting one, to say the least. And it's very common for many of us to feel especially drawn to the villains, and one of the possible reasons for it is the fact that most of the previous Disney villains (and some movie villains in general) are queercoded.

(and Kuzco. Interestingly, I never saw Kuzco being mentioned in these Disney queercoding discussions. Maybe The Emperor's New Groove is just more popular in South America...? Or maybe because it's like a positive representation, so it doesn't count? He's great tho, this movie is wonderful it's truly Disney's finest work I should make a whole post just extolling it just watch me BUT ANYWAY BACK ON TRACK)

If you google it, you'll see that queer coding is

"the subtextual coding of a character in media as queer. Though such a character's sexual identity may not be explicitly confirmed within their respective work, a character might be coded as queer through the use of traits and stereotypes recognisable to the audience. Such traits are greatly varied, but traits of exaggerated masculinity and femininity, vanity, and hypersexuality are frequent." [source: Wikipedia]

In the context of those movies, this was often made purposefully, blatantly, and in a very hurtful way, with very damaging implications, to associate (in a pejorative and stereotyped way) queer = evil. If you want to know more about it, and I highly recommend you do, there are two videos on YouTube by Rowan Ellis that explain these issues in a very complete, didactic way, and much better than I ever could. One's all about Disney villains, and the other is about the historical and social panoramas from queercoding to queerbaiting. I linked them both right there.

But the thing is, even though these are very problematic issues, what ended up happening is that many of us reclaimed those Disney villains. We felt attracted, drawn, captivated by a lot of them (not the Pocahontas one, that one is just bad). To the point where they might be our favorite characters in the movies. And why does it have to do with Loki?

Well, because, let's face it, Loki looks like a Disney villain.

the attitude. LOOK AT HIM

And that was one of the things that amused me the most when I'd go see a Thor or an Avengers movie, because not only would Tom Hiddleston's impeccable acting make the character completely captivating to me, but his outstanding looks always caught my eye.

In my humble opinion, in all the movies he's been in Loki has the most interesting costumes. They are always not only incredibly beautiful but also richly detailed, always following the color palette of Green, Black and Gold, even when he's wearing casual style. I also love how the gold is always used in adornments, and how well-fit his clothes always look. He looks like he'd only wear Asgardian haute couture.

I mean, look at the patterned scarf (which looks enormously like a leopard print to me) with green accents, stylishly matching his black vest and longcoat. THE CANE.

Of course the other costumes are also ok (Thor's armor for example has shades of blue, silver and red, all opposite to Loki's colors - although unlike Loki he almost never changes his outfits, which is a bit disappointing to me). But look at how Thor's outfit is made to make him look big, strong, MASCULINE and caricatured, while Loki's is simply elegant and slim.

His shoulder pads resonate the same shape as Thor's, but are narrower, making him look smaller in comparison. And I find it interesting how (unlike Thor who has an outfit pretty much the same as his comics counterpart) they stripped the more rustic fur trim from Loki's comics design, but kept the characteristic (and more elegant) square shoulder armor/pads.

In short, it's like his whole visual concept is to look dark, slim, fit and elegant.

And oh my, the sass

And Loki's costume designs actually have very beautiful meanings? As you can see in this Buzzfeed interview with Co-Founder and former Co-Head of Visual Development at Marvel Studios Charlie Wen and Marvel Studios Senior Visual Development Artist Anthony Francisco, when designing the character's casual Asgardian clothes, they made the clothe's lines

"more angular, almost architectural in its repeating angles. The purpose was to contrast the soft interior greens (Loki’s primary color) with the rigid blocky exterior (symbolizing Loki trapped inside the rigid walls of Asgard)."

The green color represents his soft interior. In a similar association, his characteristic collar was inspired by the flower faux calla lily, symbolizing "sacrifice and a resurrection motif". It's all very poetic. They deepened this concept in Loki's clothing in Ragnarok, where the replacement of green for blue in his clothes was meant to represent grief and sadness, and his personal growth.

"It's kind of like a nice arc for him. In the beginning of the movie he's green, then he's blue, then he's green again...by the end of the movie, he finds who he is," they said

But with the blue outfit, they added a yellow cape to represent that things would be all right at the end. Yellow and blue also make green. So like, colors mean something here. And they also wanted the blue to evoke a peacock, since Loki was showing himself off to the Grandmaster. A 10/10 outfit. Because you see, asides being elegant and dark and all that, the thing is Loki is flashy, both in his style as in his body language.

And of course none of this necessarily means anything. Things like physical appearance, fashion choices and personality traits have absolutely nothing to do with a person's sexual orientation or gender identity. But just as in the case of the Disney villains, there are certain characteristics and representations tendencies that due to both social constructions and pre-established media codes (such as the ones influenced by the Hays Code, and others), when watching, we feel more inclined to perceive as being queer. And while this usually has a pretty negative connotation (since these evocative traits are usually based on harmful stereotypes), with Loki this wasn't necessarily the case.

Even though he was introduced as a villain from the beginning, Loki has always been decently built, deepened and humanized throughout the films. Even though he was queercoded, he was never defined by grimaces, clothes or stereotypes, nor were these ever necessarily the target of bigoted jokes.

And on top of that, his personal narrative revolved precisely around the sense of feeling like an outsider within your own family. Of feeling less loved, less valued, "trapped", because of a trait he desperately has to keep secret. In this case, it was being blue. But you can change blue for queer that still works fine. It was a very familiar narrative to many queer people watching. So in a way, I think we ended up reclaiming him as well.

And I genuinely think that might have been one of the reasons this character became so loved by the LGBTQIA+ and tumblr communities. He was fabulous, and his presentation and personality reflected that perfectly.

And where did it all end? In Loki.

2. HETERONORMATIVITY

Because you see, in Loki, the only scenes where he actively wears his usual clothes are at the beginning of the series, and then never again. For the rest of the series, he wears the TVA brown coat and later a plain white shirt with a tie.

And while he was on TVA, ok, perfect, they required him to wear these clothes, fine. But after he runs off with Sylvie, he finds himself in SEVERAL situations where he might as well change his clothes. As is constantly explained to us, he can alter his appearance as he pleases and magically create fabrics and clothes at his own pleasure.

But in the one situation where he actively does this (in the train), he chooses to continue with the clothes he got from TVA (and Mobius, which is a cute point of view, but not the point here)

SO JOYFULL!!!

And for the rest of the series, he apparently forgets about his clothes and sticks to that. In that same train, is also revealed to us as an audience that Loki is indeed queer. In a intimate conversation with Sylvie, he is said to like both men and women, and the director reffered to him as bisexual.

And from there he develops a deep affective relationship with Sylvie, a woman (as we were emphatically told in that slightly misogeneous scene between the Lokis where they debate the mere existence of a "female Loki"), which regarding his queerness would be perfectly fine, if it weren't for the change in Loki's presentation from then on.

BECAUSE YOU SEE one of the major point of the Loki series is the development of the title character. Especially, his development in becoming "a better person". He starts off being a so-called pompous narcissist (much like Kuzco if you think about it), meets people who change his perception of himself and the world, and then he starts trying to improve, and redeem himself. In short, becoming a hero (again, just like Kuzco, only The Emperor's New Groove does it better).

And one of the most important things about character design is that a character's costume essentially reflects who that character is, much more than their lines or actions. Just by looking at a character's costume (if it's a good costume) you can basically know everything the movie or series or play wants you to know. And especially if you're telling a story where a character goes through internal changes, the exterior (ie, their costume) should reflect that as well.

So, Loki goes through his great journey, changes, evolves as a person, becomes a hero, and how does his presentation reflects that?

I could laugh but then my laughter would turn into tears

No, really, please. I'm not talking about Sylvie please don't think I'm in any way attacking Sylvie here, just look at him. The kinda grimy white tight shirt, enhancing his chest? The rolled up sleeves??? The leather straps holding his weapon and once again enhancing his chest? The creases in his pants evidencing his pelvis? HIS POSE????? This is a CLASSIC cis straight heroic white male lead pose. This is the kind of aesthetics I'd expect from Chris Pratt in a Jurassic World movie, and I know that you can see it too.

At no point in any movie has Loki ever presented that kind of body posture, that kind of body language. It's as if the show was saying "See? He's tough now"

And there is none of the elements that Wen and Francisco had so beautifully enshrined in Loki's costume composition, in the visual narrative that his clothes would tell. No color scheme, no green, no lily, nor nothing reminiscent of the characteristic curved necklace centerpiece he always wore (which according to Wen and Francisco, is an element that symbolizes Loki's mother, Frigga, like a "mother's crest". Interestingly, notice tho how Sylvie's costume has it, and I don't know if I find it endearing or disturbing)

So, since there's no reference to anything previously used by Loki in the first Thor and Avengers, the only symbology I can attribute to this costume choice is to show how Loki now doesn't care about things like looks anymore. His clothes are dirty, he didn't even bother to change them at all, he's not the same man who started this journey, he dropped Gucci. (They even made a joke about how he magically summoned an ugly blanket to cover him and Sylvie) And consciously or not, I genuinely think it's possible they wanted to make him more "hero-looking", "good-guy-looking". And apparently that meant making him less queer-looking.

And of course there's no way I'm saying queercoding is a good thing But why couldn't he save the world with his fabulous looks? Why couldn't he be the good guy and be flashy? Why couldn't he go through the arc of discovering emotional vulnerability and being able to open up to other people and still enjoy nice clothes and gold? Why couldn't he kiss the girl and have, idk, black painted nails? To me this has the same bitter taste as the recent Disney movie Jungle Cruise, in which the queer character proves his worth when he "man-ups". (And besides, this film is very derogatory in the portrait of South America??? But anyway)

And again, of course none of this necessarily means anything. Your choice of fashion has no direct bearing on how queer you are or not. People express themselves in different ways, but we're not talking about real people. Loki is not a real person, but a character whose wardrobe and gestures and lines were all decided and thought out by an external group of people, with goals and direct consequences in our perception.

And this is even more evident and difficult to ignore for me by how much the series itself shows. In the scene where he meets the other Loki variants, if you notice, everyone is dressed in very elaborate costumes. Honestly, President Loki is MAGNIFICENT with that green vest, the one sided shoulder pad detail, and the textured tie evoking something reptilian (I also loved how they adapted the characteristic gold necklace into a tie pin). But the thing is, he is represented as being, in a way, evil.

They all are. They are shown to be, you know, "the older Loki" versions, those who haven't evolved as much, you know. They're still treacherous, and liars, and slippery, and cowards, and suspicious, and back-stabbers, and narcissists, and bla bla bla. "Our" Loki even calls them "monsters". And since he stands out so much from them all, with his simple, modest, heteronormative clothes, it's very easy for our brain to make an association between "dressing" and "acting." And suddenly Loki's old flashness turns into a harmful stereotype.

Because now the way he dressed is a possible implication of when he was a "bad person". From when he had all the characteristics I mentioned above (all commonly associated with queer people in a pejorative way). And that's so disappointing to me, because in my opinion they missed a great opportunity to get the exact opposite message across. In a social context where the media still villainizes queer traits SO MUCH, where works like Rock Horror Picture Show are still seen as grotesque and villainous by so many people, they could have made a fabulous hero. A queer hero, with characteristics reclaimed by us as a community, portrayed in a beautiful and positive way, just as we see them.

So, this was all only the point of view that I took from the costumes. But the point is that costumes tell a story. They deliver a message. So in Loki's case, what message is this?

Think about it.

Anyway, thank you so much for reading!!!

#he was confirmed queer but at what cost #AT WHAT COST #I'm a bitter lesbian pls be kind #loki #loki series #marvel mcu #mcugifs #meta #queer #queer coding #bissexual #tom hiddleston #disney villains #queer theory #costume design

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kmclaude · 2 years ago

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How would Annemarie’s life hve changed if she couldn’t feel anything during penetrative sex or even had painful sex due to vaginismus???

A lot more oral lol

Mm, no, yeah well the stuff with her daddy would be 10 times worse. She might have gone less hypersexual and more hyposexual (tho that assumes partly her hypersexuality is due to trauma -- girlfriend also just has a high libido period, so maybe more oral and jerking off?) Definitely would skew a lot of her revolving door relationships. She may grin and bear it for someone who really supported her, met her needs in and outta bed, etc. But her motives may skew less....I hesitate to say less sexual but more...if she knows a guy's gonna want to hit a home run it's gotta be damn worth it to her if it hurts (if she feels nothing its just booooooring but easier to weigh the options.) That or she winds up in major D/s relationships where she's the Domme and there's a lot of male chastity happening lmao. Like. She likes to come. There's a lot a man can do to make that happen.

That said she'd probably either be not """""""as traumatic""""" with Emi (just touching and oral and not all the way) orrrr she'd use him to try and practice/fix herself out of frustration that it hurts, that she's broken, and maybe if she didn't hafta raise some shitty brat she'd be less inclined to rely on the kindness of strangers so its all his fault somehow and he needs to pay.

#kmclaudereplies #kmclaudereplies to ask #kmclaude replies to ask #character stuff

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sugar-petals · 4 years ago

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BTS Tarot Reading ➝ What Kind Of Porn Do They Watch? (18+)

↳ NOTE - due to several requests, a steamy and detailed one. ☕️ we’re asking the cards about the erotica they fancy in a wider sense.

warning ⚠️ 18+ // bdsm mentions, worship, kinks left and right. we’re going graphic in all types o’ ways, lads.

♡ DISCLAIMER // tarot is speculative, there is no guarantee for accuracy. believing in the cards is a choice. all portrayals are fictive and for entertainment purposes only.

SPREAD #1:

yoongi

⌈ THE WORLD ⇁ Jesus... Someone’s obsessed with girls in the nude. That card has a stark naked woman wrapped in very little satin on it so you know what our funky little guy is up to. Luscious aesthetic fotos might be just around his corner. Big duh, he’s a photography major. These folks are all about body appreciation. He’s also on a personal vendetta against lingerie 😂 Yoongi won’t get hard looking at even the most HD panty and bra ads. Only the skin in its full splendor will do, no editing. He loves pictures of nipples peaking through shirt fabric, it’s all over his phone. Yoongi likes his gals without underwear 24/7 just like he dislikes underwear himself. If we’re talking porn, the woman on the card is holding two very long rods so may I connect the dots: Threesomes, handjobs, blowbangs, spitroasting. Friction, friction, and more friction. To Yoongi’s brain, handjobs are a great um new version of holding hands. Sex standing up also, keeping it vertical. Yoongi doesn’t care about girth, inches count. Nice and elongated with a perfect plunge, something to hold onto. Yep, he’s pretty deliberate when searching that up. Yes, he loves the look of it. However, and you’ll be surprised: Even if he likes poly porn, it’s still nothing too extreme. This card is more about pleasure than pain. If a guy likes rough and degrading sex, you get swords and wands in his spread. THE WORLD is more about perfected skills and success. So, he likes the more accomplished porn stars. With a preference for curly blondes and redheads, that’s sort of the hair color on the card. Natural B or C cup. Medium height, not too curvy. Oversized booty not needed. In terms of nationality: We have three representative animals on the card. Eagle, lion and bull, plus a light blonde man’s head. So, anything that America/Germany/Albania/Mexico/Namibia (and so on, lot of countries with eagles as their national bird my dude), England, Spain and Scandinavia have to offer. Honey sugar is going international, baby.

hoseok

⌈ QUEEN OF WANDS ⇁ Did I just mention that guys who like rough sex in porn get wand cards in their readings in Yoongi’s segment? Well, there we have our candidate, with a very obvious card since it’s a court figure. Now, the thing is, this is not the guy being rough. The QUEEN OF WANDS is as notoriously femdom as can be. The very fiery and raw and fun version. So, with a degree of lightheartedness, but still being very fit — even buff — and hands-on with the sub. If you get the QUEEN OF SWORDS, that’s the more cool and calculated domme who signs you up for torture and humiliation, and she really looks like a domme. She’s all over the internet because she has the grit. Now wands combined with a tarot queen... it’s more about the stamina and she is approachable. Hobi does not like watching cruel girls, he likes challenging ones. Upbeat porn stars who can take a lot but most importantly dole it out assertively like pros are Hobi’s schtick. He’s unapologetic about that. With him it’s like, please not the local newcomers that turned legal a month ago. The queen cards are all about mature women. Mommy kink, hint hint. The kind of mommy who’s gonna whip out the spreader bar or cane (= wands again) and give a playful type of punishment. See how desert-like that imagery is, Hobi wants to sweat big time when he gets off to this. Now since wands also make for a damn good pole to dance on, go figure. This whole card has me wondering if, well alright, he is a Cardi B hard stan 😅 If Hobi blasts Money to get in the mood, I’d not be surprised. Anyway. Back to pole stuff: If you go through his youtube search history, you will find astounding things. I think he watches the more professional and athletic performers in competition though. High production value is key. Finally, an interesting card detail: There’s a sunflower on it. This is definitely his kind of tarot imagery.

jimin

⌈ KING OF COINS ⇁ This card always looks like a scene from a medieval movie so you might have an erotic film enthusiast here. The more chaste type of genre, pentacles are very grounded and not hypersexualized. The intimacy is slow and more about security and pleasure. It’s graphic and detailed, but gives you a sense of relaxation. With a bit of romance in the plot, that might absolutely be Jimin’s thing. Castles and wine and nobility. Interesting type of erotica. Historical and classy. As expected of a prince, mind you. He might enjoy books of that genre also. And we know Jimin is an avid reader, right up there with Namjoon. Now, even with more risque and contemporary stuff that he googles up, we have similar dynamics going down on screen. With Hobi we had femdom because it’s a queen card, now with Jimin we get the classic male dom type of porn because that’s how the King usually rolls, unless it’s the KING OF CUPS who’s touchy-feely and subby. Meanwhile, the KING OF COINS is your local sugar daddy. Leaning towards being a soft dom, he’s not aggressive. And Jimin surely has a little crush on that concept. Ye know, if all the other members have female cards and Jimin gets the sugar daddy, we might be dealing with mxm action. Because if this card was a porn star, he’d be a really, really rich producer and a bear who’s done this since the frickin’ 90s. He’s treating his subs very gently and lets them sit on their lap, the imagery is sort of like that because the King is balancing a pentacle on his left thigh. Sex and comfort all in one are life for Jimin. A sexy detail I only noticed at a second glance, the King also has a shortened golden staff with him, which has a rounded tip. If that’s not a butt plug… whenever I see props like that in tarot, I interpret it as a sex toy. So, good vibes in here. And a bunch of aphrodisiacs, the KING OF COINS is a foodie. Which you know, might just be a food porn type of reference. Jimin’s taste in sexy things is quite something else.

jungkook

⌈ THE EMPRESS ⇁ If there’s one thing I like, it’s the Tarot giving me the important archetypes during readings of that kind. The Queens, the Kings, the Major arcana (see Yoongi’s and Jin’s segment). You can really draw a lot of hints out of it. Now with the EMPRESS you have a similar case to Hobi’s, just a lot more softcore. Jungkook has a refined and pretty vast taste in erotica, if not the most refined in Bangtan next to Jimin who likes that kind of dignified touch to it as well as we saw. Jungkook knows his stuff when it comes to searching things up, he is a first class netizen in that regard. In terms of genre: The EMPRESS is your highkey feminist and wholesomeness legend, so — you won’t find any super creepy things in some hidden file on his PC, and things by female producers instead. No slut-shaming or name-calling here, everyone gets their pleasure in their own right. Thanks to online sex ed, Jungkook has a map to the clit and he’s not afraid to use it. He’s the type to watch solo videos ad nauseam. He’s fascinated. Masturbation until it gets all messy with the juices flowing, and you bet he wants to see the girls buzzing themselves off lying on their back. Maybe even outdoors in a field. Cum play is a must, cunnilingus is a must, he loves unprotected sex and creampies, he loves breast massages. And yes. Anything that involves sex with pregnant and chubby women. Similar to Taehyung, it’s all about the focus on the girl, he doesn’t bother much with the guy performers. And given Yoongi’s reading on top of that, we have three members in BTS who are all about worshipping the female body right here, breasts over ass, and he likes blondes, too. The EMPRESS card is like… the entire porn industry who does the MILF and BBW genre is financed by Jeon Jungkook’s website subscriptions. Cue GOT7, with Jungkook it’s girls, girls, girls. The thirst is going strong, and he’s unashamed times ten, sex is sex.

➝ we also have members who don’t really bother with erotica or have a complicated relationship with it.

SPREAD #2

taehyung

⌈ ACE OF WANDS reversed ⇁ He’s not about beating off until the world ends. Taehyung gets bored by porn or heated literature and doesn’t feel very motivated to search it up. He would rather come up with his own ideas to write but doesn’t have the energy. Sex drive: On hold, even if he tries to look something up it doesn’t feel very fulfilling to him. Most of it fails to turn him on, it’s not his kind of taste. He gets frustrated when he masturbates and would rather rest, dream, and doze. The only thing I can see him watch somewhat frequently — hold your horses — is lesbian porn. I’ll explain. The ACE OF WANDS is pretty much your most glaring handjob symbolism card. A hand gripping a stick. Yoongi’s THE WORLD card has very similar imagery, I mean even two wands and a girl, bisexual explosion much. He would be a big fan of the upright ACE OF WANDS card lmao! But the reversal is like, um no silly guys jerking off in here, pls. Keep your cum to yourself. That means: Zero dicks in Taehyung’s zone, girl-on-girl stuff is his very last resort for quality that he is desperate for but cannot find. And not the stuff where the producers just replace the guys with heavy arsenal sex toys, double-ended dildos, fucking machines, endless strap-on action without any clit stimulation on either side and whatnot. Taehyung is like ugh, cherie, why, give me the juicy stuff, give me the basics. What he wants is just pure scissoring, fingering, oral, little gentle bites, a lot of caresses and kisses. And slow, slow sex. Probably the amateur kind. He hates how brutal and exaggerated most things online are. Tae is looking for softness, a lot of lesbian action is what delivers in that regard so he takes all he gets. And it goes further than that, Taehyung knows the finest yuri recommendations, I’m telling you.

seokjin

⌈ THE STAR reverse ⇁ The opposite of Yoongi: not keeping it very naked in here. The upright card shows a nude woman pouring water from two cups. Hence a strong connection to the card of sexuality, TWO OF CUPS. Everything is very gentle and positive in that scenery. But then, the reversed card rather shows us that Jin doesn’t feel too thrilled watching other people film or write or photograph sex. Like in Tae’s case, he becomes bored, it’s all the same to him. Nothing’s ever new to him in porn. He feels negative and guilty rather than refreshed or entertained. He also doesn’t like a lot of kinks that very literally connect to, well, the pouring water. Squirting, cum play, watersports, sex in the pool or showers, lube overuse, creampies, bukkake, fake cum — Jin is rolling his eyes at that, he thinks it’s a circus. He’s surely given it a try, but ended up feeling worse and even more pent-up or dissatisfied. At best, you will find him on unknown websites looking for the most amateur videos there are. Because: THE STAR quite unequivocally hints at porn stars. If you reverse the card, it becomes someone not very well-known. He roots for the underdog. Accordingly, Jin’s reaction to mainstream videos goes this way: ‚Pipe down, you non-artists!’ 😆 Cause maybe, he does do it better aye, without the awkward angles anyway. He doesn’t want the body cult, like, put that airbrush and silicone out of my face bro. Not because he’s against surgery, but the idea behind sexual extremes and the shady high standards. It’s too polished for him to get turned on. And robotic/staged. Likely because he’s had an IRL sexual experience (gasp!) that set a different ideal to him, so the more glossy porn feels off. Home video has all he needs instead. I think it’s especially because you get so see more body hair there. The woman on the THE STAR card is all sleek, so the reversed card is the opposite, Jin wants that unshaved goodness.

namjoon

⌈ EIGHT OF CUPS ⇁ Now you’d think — and I thought, kinda — we’d get the master of erotica right here. And he’s had one hell of a reputation for that. Think of the ever-infamous Yaman TV interview where BTS were super upfront and revealing about their taste and what they watch privately. With especially Namjoon having the lion’s share. But this card says otherwise if his current state is concerned. The EIGHT OF CUPS shows a man wandering off into the night, leaving eight cups behind him. I think what that means is, he’s moved on. Namjoon’s cravings aren’t as strong as they used to be, nor does he have the time. He knows it won’t fix his loneliness or answer the questions of life. He might be on the search for different things to fulfill him, or ignore much of his hormones in favor for his career. Not that he didn’t dabble in it, he sure did, but that chapter is slowly closing and what’s next he doesn’t really know yet. He thinks about family and being a father, so the smaller and more risque pleasures become less significant. Desire, too. Ye olde soul syndrome is kicking in. The card is also centered around introspection, a quest for self, all these higher topics that aren’t the most grounded and don’t leave much space for being horny. Joon is simply to preoccupied and on the move. He sees porn as a distraction from his real self at this point, and he’s not the type to feel satiated after masturbating to something, similar to Jin and Taehyung. Instead, I think he carries that energy elsewhere, hence the wanderer going from A to B onto a mountain. In short, Namjoon naturally grew out of it by becoming more, well: Namjoon. He’s left a lot behind, he’s choosing self-development over temporary fun, and he will ponder a lot on the topic, the hows and whys and whats more often than not. So, he’s passed the baton to Yoongi and Jungkook if you will, and keeps a low profile as of now.

tarot mlist | ko-fi

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for anon:

#bts tarot #bts #bangtan #bts smut #bts tarot reading #tarot #long post

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kelsiekirbyy-scribbles · 4 years ago

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Did anyone ask for nsfw headcanons of a dead rising character? No? Well this is very self-indulgent of me. This will flop, I can just tell, but I wanted this lmao.

✨Dylan Fuentes NSFW Alphabet✨

[Warning: i wouldn't read if you arent comfortable with 18+ headcanons]

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

It really depends on how he feels about you. You could be just a "pet" and suffer in your injuries, or if he feels you've been obedient then you'd actually get treated for the scratches or bruises you have (might even get cuddles if you're both up to it)

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

If its boobs vs ass, he's definitely an ass type of guy; that's abundantly clear.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

He doesn't mind it and at the same time he isn't crazy about it either. He either tries to prolong his climax so he can keep going, or he just wants to cum as soon as possible

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He actually wants to be held. That's his dirtiest secret

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's very experienced in everything except being romantic

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Literally any position is fine by him. Riding someone or having someone ride him is probably his favorite though

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Its honestly a mix of both serious and silly. It greatly depends on how his partner is acting and if he's the sub or dom. Dylan is a serious dom but as soon as he subs, his voice gets high and he's more prone to cracking a joke or two

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Dylan's outfit really doesn't leave much to the imagination and you can clearly see his arm/pubic hair

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

His expertise is in kinky, rough sex. He hasn't been opposed to taking things slower though. You would really need to be on his good side if you want anything close to romantic

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

He does it a lot and he's a little sick of it; he would much rather be with someone and have them get him off

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Biting, knife play, temperature play. If you can think of something kinky, there's a 98% chance he's into it

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

In the back of the adult store you find him at. He's not picky, he'll fuck anywhere, but this is just his favorite place

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If you do anything remotely suggestive, even if its on accident, he'll get turned on. It can be from simply bending over, to intentionally grinding up on him

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

This man is into a lot of stuff... but piss and scat is just not it. Dont ask him to do it because even he will give you some weird looks

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He has a preference in receiving. He's fine with eating someone out but when it comes to giving a blowjob, he could use some practice

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Somewhat fast and very rough. Its guaranteed that you'll have a mark of some kind on your body

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He only has quickies when he's been pent up for a while (which is rare). Foreplay is something he loves more than anything

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Dylan is always experimenting and trying out new things to do on his partners. He also doesn't mind someone experimenting on him, although he does complain if he gets hurt too much

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

He can go pretty much all day, but has to take breaks in between rounds

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Of course he has them. Too many, to be exact. Dylan mostly uses them on his partners but still uses them on himself

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He absolutely hates being teased, but doesn't mind teasing others

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's very loud; Not only that but his voice can go up high, giving him an occasional voice crack

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

The reason he's not so great at giving head is because of his pointed teeth and horrible gag reflex. Not many people wanna be around his teeth, let alone stick their dick in his mouth

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

His body is very conflicting; at first glance you'd think he'd be a skinny twink but he's actually got muscle..even if its just slightly. His dick is just an average 5 inches

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Too high. He is hypersexual

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Dylan doesn't really fall asleep after sex. Typically that only happens when he's worn-out from being a sub; that being said, he's still a heavy sleeper and you'll have to shake him if you want him to wake up early

Anyway I know 90% of my followers are here for the anime, sorry 'bout that. Dylan Fuentes is just my current obsession

#dylan fuentes #x reader #lemon #ns//fw #dead rising 3 #im lowkey sorry

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acespec-ed · 3 years ago

Note

hi!! I was wondering if u could help me? I’m alloaro and I just discovered the term aromid… and it makes me question myself. I’m very unsure if I’m on the asexual spectrum or if I just experience sex repulsion sometimes? I’ve looked at so many acespec labels and cannot find one that actually fits me. literally I’ve seen them all. I haven’t really felt comfortable calling myself ace and I do enjoy saying I’m alloaro but I wonder if I’m actually on the ace spectrum as well… how do I differentiate between sex repulsion and asexuality? For one, I’m hypersexual and feel the need/pressure to be sexual or I’m not good enough… and I do want sex I think? I fantasize about it and I enjoy smut and some art .. but when I visually see nakedness or irl sex… it makes me feel very uncomfortable and I don’t enjoy that. I enjoy the thoughts and fiction and when people are only partially clothed…. but I just have this feeling of repulsion and fear of actually doing it irl (what if I hate it and it makes me uncomfortable?) and when I think about it I do imagine myself and this other person but it’s also hard to actually see us and not just faceless non existing people… and idk how much of me wanting sex is just pressure from hypersexuality or me genuinely having sexual attraction … idk if I really have much of a libido or want for sex?? would I be able to call myself alloaro AND aromid.. as in I’m alloaro but possibly SOMEWHERE on the ace spectrum?.. or maybe I’m just sex repulsed and fully not ace at all? I feel like my situation here makes me unable to call myself alloaro but I AM alloaro and I love being alloaro… I don’t wanna stop saying I am but it also feels like there’s more to it?

same anon from before! I read a post of yours about the umm “allos see ‘cake’ and immediately know they want to eat it” and it confuses me … idk what I experience? I see fictional characters and I can go “they look sexy I am attracted to them maybe if want to have sex with them?” I see people and ??? idk sometimes I get unwanted thoughts of having sex with friends when I don’t actually want to or find attractive…I can see people and think they’re sexy/attractive .. but idk if I’d think “yeah I’d have sex with them” I mean it depends bc I think someone can imagine having sex with someone and enjoy it and want it but would they actually wanna seriously have sex with that stranger without having any connection with them…? Sex is scary so I’d need to know and trust them maybe… be scared to show my body..but I don’t think I’d be comfortable calling myself demi? Idk I don’t get this .. do I look at someone and immediately think whether I’d want to have sex with them or not? I really don’t know … also.. so…. Libido is just wanting sex in general and sexual attraction is wanting specific people?… how do I differentiate all of this it’s so confusing! I guess MAYBE I do look at peopl and go “wow they’re pretty/sexy id want sex” BUT I DONT KNOW LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT… am I not allo WHATS going on here .. can you explain what it would be like to be sex repulsed AND allo instead of ace? and the difference between that and being ace and sex repulsed? thank u

I’m so sorry I’m saying so much I just have no one to talk to :C … but um… someone told me “if you’re sex repulsed .. you’re still allo unless you feel like u don’t relate to being allo anymore” and I’m honestly so confused because…. do my weird feelings towards sex influence my sexuality? do I still feel connected to being allo? personally I feel like these feelings are ones allo people don’t typically have ..plus I’ve always felt bad for not being sexual enough or feeling the same sexual feelings as people/ (also why do I have sex repulsion I don’t think I rlly had much sexual trauma going on.. some little incidents but still??) and if I told allo people these feelings… they would not relate and would think I’m weird for it ..but an ace person might relate and would understand … I feel like it does influence how I see my sexuality/attraction and complicates things…however.. I feel like I can’t call myself acespec bc often I want sex (even with a specific person.. although they look different when I imagine them and also don’t exactly have a Look/face/body in my head..same with me) often and I’m hypersexual so I like over sexualizing myself …plus I like saying I’m alloaro and don’t want to let go of it… nor do I want to ID with a specific ace spec label.. I’d like to just say I’m ace (just like how I call myself aromantic even when I’m specifically gray romantic) why can’t I just be ace and not ace at the same time or in between I don’t know 😭…. what do allos experience how is their life like with sexual attraction and how is someone’s life like without sexual attraction … I don’t get it at alllllll

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I saw you sent three asks and decided to combine them all in this post to make answering this easier. Just reading these asks are making my head spin, so I can only imagine how confused you must feel. And it's fine that you're sending so many asks- I know what it's like to have no one to talk to about things.

I'll start this off by saying you can call yourself whatever you feel most comfortable calling yourself. And if it's alloaro, then of course you can keep calling yourself alloaro. You do sound like you could fit somewhere on the ace spectrum, but I couldn't tell you where.

A lot of what I'm about to say you might already know, since it sounds like you've been doing your own bit of research, but here I go.

Whether or not you desire sex on its own doesn't determine if you're asexual. If you've never felt any urges to have sex with anyone specific, then you haven't experienced sexual attraction. So it's helpful to remove your interest in sex itself, along with libido, when questioning. Focus it all on if you've wanted sex with anyone in particular. If the answer is no, or very rarely, it's likely you could be on the asexual spectrum. You mentioned you've experienced it towards someone specific, so it sounds to me like you'd be in the gray area, if on it at all.

I will say, it is totally normal to be nervous, and even scared, of having sex at first. A lot of allos are able to get over this fear- possibly because of sexual attraction. I first felt sexual attraction towards my boyfriend, and though I was repulsed, I wanted to do sexual things with him so bad I was able to get over the fear and disgust through slow exposure. So I think sexual attraction on its own is a huge motivator to "get over" sex repulsion and go for it.

Of course, you should never do anything you are not comfortable doing. And never force yourself into doing any sexual activities. A lot of aces have ended up with trauma over that sort of thing. The reason I went for it was because I naturally became comfortable with things escalating as time went on. Kinda like exposure therapy, I guess.

I'm not sure if you already saw it, but I did write this post on an experience I had where I was sex-repulsed by someone I was sexually attracted to. So it is possible to be sex-repulsed and sexually attracted to a person, but I understand how hard it can be to tell for sure.

I can't tell you what it's like to be allo. But other than the few times I've experienced sexual attraction, I lived my life with a libido directed towards no one, fluctuating between being sex-indifferent and repulsed, and occasionally getting a crush I had no sexual attraction towards.

As for what it’s like being sex-repulsed and ace: I can’t imagine having sex with anyone. I just can’t. Every time I get a crush, I try to imagine sex with them, and my brain just shuts that off. It wants nothing to do with those thoughts. Sex-repulsed with sexual attraction: It’s only happened twice and the first time (with my bf) I had no idea wtf was going on and it was 10 years ago so I can’t remember enough to tell you aside from what I’ve already said. The other time though, I wasn’t 100% sure if it was sexual attraction at first- but my body became aroused at the sight of him, and the arousal went away when he left. But when I thought of sex with him, I was grossed out. But I kept forcing myself to think of sex with him, and grew more comfortable with the idea. And the more I thought about it, the more I figured, “hey, maybe I am sexually attracted to him.”

Every person is different though.

I can totally understand your confusion because some of your experiences sound like you’re allo and some sound like you could be acespec. I honestly don’t know what else to say or what answers to give. I will say this though: I strongly doubt any allo has had to question their allosexuality as much as you are.

But circling back to what I first said: you can label yourself as whatever you feel most comfortable with. It’s okay if you don’t fit the exact definitions of an identity 100%. Every person is different, even those sharing the same label. And if you decide your experiences are just too complicated for a label, you don’t need one either.

Sorry if this was all over the place, but I hope it was somewhat helpful!

#asks #side note but if you have any follow up questions i probably won't get to them until tomorrow evening cuz work

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patchoulimademoiselle · 4 years ago

Text

Bat Shit Crazy (Part 1)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 5.6k

Warnings: language, sub/dom dynamic, large age gap, smut, choking kink, violence/fighting, injuries/blood, hypersexual reader, mentions of death?

Summary: Bucky is back from a mission he was sent on without you. He works hard to get you back on your routine.

Notes: This fic is dark, and it only gets darker. This is more Winter Soldier Bucky in terms of behavioral traits and dynamics with other characters. This is not a soft lovey dovey style fic, and if that bothers you DO NOT READ.

Masterlist

Part One:

The night is young, the summer air is humid, you've swapped out your jeans for a pair of fray end shorts, tennis shoes scuffing against the pavement as you shuffle your feet, waiting.

You've been craving a bit of freedom, some wind in your hair, something intoxicating in your system, and that led you right to Tony Stark. You batted your eyelashes the best you could, pretty please, can we borrow your car for the night? Honestly, you don't have a plan. All you know is that you feel suffocated sitting around on base. You feel old, tired, missing and craving the feeling of adrenaline in your veins.

So as soon as the jet returns to HQ, you're grabbing Bucky by the collar of his shirt and dragging him out to the sight of a bright orange Audi that makes him groan in disbelief. A knowing look graces his features, and he almost feels bad for the guy. Because if there's anything you're good at, it's getting your way, and Bucky had basically signed himself up for it. But Stark? He had no idea what you were truly capable of.

"I'm not going to ask how you managed to get it," He says, hand catching your waist and pulling you to stop before you can get inside, "But I am going to ask, where are we going?"

He's still in his tactical gear, a gun on his hip, dirt and blood smeared across his skin, he smells like gun powder and sweat, and you can't resist the urge to just kiss him. So you do, hands in his hair, pulling him down into a searing kiss that pulls a strangled sound from the back of his throat. He hasn't seen you in days, and he's more exhausted than he's used to being. But he can tell you're restless, the chaos in your bones convincing you to basically seduce Stark and take his car to do who knows what in the cover of night. He's just glad that you decided to bring him along.

"For a ride." Is all you offer, letting him hike your leg up around his waist. "I missed you."

"I know." His voice sounds wrecked, laced with exhaustion and arousal, and you almost feel bad for keeping him up even longer, because who knows what he just came back from. But you're too excited to turn back now, dangling the keys in front of his face, his grin just as wicked as yours as he kisses you one last time.

"I want to go first, you can drive on the way back."

When you get in the drivers seat and press the button to start the engine, you get why people collect cars like this. The feeling of power, the sense of danger, it's intoxicating, and you start to feel a little breathless when you rev the engine.

Bucky can see it click in your head, he can see the exact moment that you decide that this might be taking it too far.

There's a wicked glint in your eyes when you turn to look at him. "Oh," You laugh, "I've created a monster."

His eyebrows furrow, fingers wrapping around your wrist to pull you away from the wheel, half bent over the console. "I would prefer it if you didn't get us both killed, so you take it easy, understand?" Because he knows. He knows you could say fuck it all just for the thrill of it.

You click your tongue, "You're no fun." You pout, watching as his eye twitches, a weakness, "But that's okay. I'm sure you'll figure out how to make it up to me."

He smiles at that, and you aren't sure if it's pride or love that has him grabbing your chin and forcing you to look in his eyes. You're a smart mouthed fool, and he knows that you probably got most of your attitude from him. "What am I going to do with you?"

"You can start with fucking me on every surface of this car before we give it back tomorrow morning."

He hums, kissing you once, twice, unable to pull away because he likes the look in your eyes, he likes that you're this comfortable with him, young and wild and trusting him not to judge you. It's harmless fun, he understands, the tedious schedule you follow everyday is eating away at your youth. So he indulges you, letting you put the windows down and drive just a little more recklessly than he should.

The shriek of laughter that comes from your throat is worth the risk, his hand gripping your thigh, watching as you change your grip on the steering wheel. The wind blows your hair, flushes your cheeks, and its a reflex more than anything else when he fishes his phone out to take a picture of you.

This is what you both live for. Moments like this where nothing else matters. You have each other, you've found a perfect medium between work and play, and it works out better than you could have ever imagined.

Keeping up with you is like pulling teeth sometimes, because Bucky just doesn't care as much as you do. He figured that you would be better suited with someone who is equally as high maintenance as you, someone like Tony Stark. The expensive taste and busy schedule could only be understood by someone who lives that lifestyle.

But behind the perfume and lip gloss, beneath the eyelash extensions and layers of designer clothing, chaos awaits. It makes you reckless.

You're hot headed, quick to pull a trigger and abuse your power before the chance can be taken from you. Steve had tried to train you first, but all attempts made to domesticate you failed, the restlessness within you wired deep within your bones, and so you were passed on to Bucky. Because there's a part of Bucky that craves chaos just like you do, the only difference is that he's learned to control it rather than have it control him. You were pushed right into his arms, and it was only a matter of time before he left and impression on you.

The devilment you shared made him putty in your hands. He saw himself in you, a pretty head plagued with torturous thoughts, a pretty girl ruined by this job, and so he trained you accordingly. He told you that there was a trick to it, that he never learned to tame the darkness within him, he just learned to suppress and channel it at the right time, finding constructive outlets rather than being a fucking brat all the time. He could actually handle you, and love hit you hard. You've been inseparable ever since.

Steve was concerned with how quickly your relationship developed, Tony called you both crazy, and Natasha, she may or may not be a bad influence on you. You're a killer, he's a killer, it's like you were made for each other.

But that part of you never went away, and it's times like these that it starts to become a test of his patience.

Eventually, you find yourself at a park, and Bucky is beyond confused when you park the car and actually turn it off. You meant it when you said you just wanted to go for a drive. It's too late to find anything open, he's too tired to go too far, and you would rather sit and star gaze with him rather than do anything to piss him off.

But first, he fucks you. Hard. On every surface, just like you asked. He pulls you over the console, flips your shirt up and presses your tits against the dash, fucking up into you with a strength that you realize you've missed these past three days. Then he gets out, an arm secured around your waist to hold you up as he rounds the car and places you on the hood, palms flat against the polished paint as he continues to fuck you.

It's obscene, your body caving under his weight, cheek pressed flat against the cool metal when he grips the back of your neck, arching you against him further. God, he missed you. You take him so well, always such a good girl for him, and he tells you that, lips pressed against your ear as he grinds his cock into you, and the only response you can give is a moan.

Then he's in the front seat, hands tight on your hips as you ride him, and you could have sworn the car seemed bigger until you found yourself in this position, back arched against the wheel so that you don't hit your head.

He forces you to look him in the eyes, grabbing your throat and tilting your head up, leaving you to find your own rhythm. The muscles in his arm strain at the restraint, because you slow down to a teasing pace, the look in his eyes becoming dangerous as you test his patience, and it doesn't take long for him to grab you up and turn you around, pushing the seat back as far as it goes and pounding you against the soft leather. He's relentless, hips slapping against your ass at a speed that your brain can't keep up with, and you're coming before your body has a chance to warn you.

He comes inside of you soon after, locking your body to his as if you'll disappear, and it makes you wonder what happened while he was gone.

You pull a bottle of liquor from the glove box, he pulls your shorts back up, and together you deposit your tired bodies on the swing set a few feet away. He tells you everything, sharing swigs of whiskey, eyes dancing between you and the night sky above you.

It was supposed to be recon, supposed to be a simple in and out. But Steve fucked up, stepped on a trip wire and gave them away. They had to fight their way out, didn't even get any intel besides the fact that whoever the fuck it was knew that they were coming. Or at least, they were expecting someone to come eventually.

It makes you wish you were there, because Steve wouldn't have been able to fuck up, it's you who goes out on those types of missions with Bucky. You two just work better together, something that maybe now Steve Rogers might finally come to understand. But you were told, more like ordered to sit this one out, and neither of you say it, but you both register at the same time that it was a mistake.

You drink more than you should, the bottle half empty by the time he decides to cut you off. But you don't let it ruin your fun, kicking your legs as hard as you can, the swing lifting higher than the bars that hold it, and for a moment it feels like you're flying before gravity takes over and yanks you back down. But Bucky doesn't let you jostle yourself around too much, arm reaching out to grab the chain of your swing, slowing your speed.

"We shouldn't stay out long." He says. "We need to get up early." You raise an eyebrow in question, he does the same. "Don't act brand new. You do this every time I leave. You fall off your routine and we have to work twice as hard for a couple days to get you back on it."

It makes you groan, makes him grab you by the arm and pull you to sit on his lap, kissing your cheek when you lean your head back against his shoulder.

You don't say anything, because there isn't anything else to say. He's back, he's here with you again and you couldn't ask for anything more than that.

But he seems to have too much on his mind, taking swig after swig until the bottle is empty and there's nothing left to distract him. "Don't do this again." He says. "I'll buy you a car if that's what you want, but don't you ever run to another man before coming to me." You aren't sure if this is an insecurity, or if he's simply being possessive, but either way you take too long to respond, his hands clamping down on your thighs in a grip that has you arching up off his lap to relieve the pressure. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes, fuck."

"Good." He kisses the corner of your mouth this time, smoothing his palms against your skin to soothe the ache he's caused. "Where did you get these shorts from?"

"College."

Your response raises a question in his head, how can you still fit them? But he realizes immediately that college was only a year ago for you, a harsh reminder of your age compared to his, and he simply hums in reply.

The air grows too cold for you to handle, shivering in his arms despite the warmth running through your veins, and he makes the call to wrap it up. But not before he kisses you first, turning you around on his lap and tugging you against his lips by a harsh grip in your hair. You don't get to have many moments like these, so you cherish it, kissing him as long as he needs you to, enjoying the chill that snakes up your spine when his hands round your ass and deposit under your thighs, hoisting you up.

He settles you in the passenger seat, eager for his turn at driving the car, and you could care less given your sudden exhaustion. You admire the way he looks, jaw clenched, muscles taught, arm flexing as he palms the steering wheel, a hand on your head rest as he glances back to reverse the car. His hair is loose for a change, framing his face and whipping back and forth each time he turns his head.

He could use a trim, but you know he'll never let you.

He doesn't lose his mind driving like you did, remaining at a reasonable speed, turning on the radio to keep his mind busy since you aren't doing much entertaining. He doesn't blame you, he's tired too, and you had been waiting up to greet him when he got back.

You start to doze off, the blur of lights and buildings putting your mind at ease. It's not until Bucky's hands are on you again that you realize you fell asleep, which is a bummer, because you won't have this car again come noon.

"I want you to get me pregnant in this car."

He snorts, ignoring your antics entirely, reaching over to unfasten your seatbelt.

He tries to carry you, but you don't let him, settling for holding his hand instead. The compound is quiet except for the sound of the tv on low in the common room, Clint passed out on the couch, the movie he had been watching probably long gone off by now.

It makes you smile, stopping to place a blanket on him. He doesn't move a muscle, and Bucky grows impatient waiting for you, so you carry on. In the privacy in your room, you step your way out of your shoes and kick them into the corner by the door, then you help him out of his gear.

You find a stab wound on his stomach, it's long stopped bleeding by now, not at all infected, and it's already starting to heal. He says nothing, your warm fingers brushing his skin and something domestic washes over you both. It's something soft and unspoken, something the lines of I'm glad your safe.

The tile on the floor is cold beneath your feet, you lead him into the bathroom and run a bath for him, despite his protests of you being too tired. You watch as the water turns milky with dirt and blood, fingertips against his scalp as you clean his hair. It's a side of you that he doesn't see too often, a softer side that you bury under attitude and attention seeking mischief, and at this point he doesn't know which version of you he appreciates more.

You lather a sponge with body wash, a cedar scent you learned to love on him, and you wash him gently, carefully, mindful of his bruising. His wet hands are on your face, pulling you in for an occasional kiss, and it seems that he just can't keep his hands off of you.

He fucks you again, but it's different this time, softer, slower, his eyes locked on yours, fingers gentle just like you were for him, and you feel it in your heart when he tells you he loves you. He fucks you to sleep and tucks you into bed, limbs tangled with yours to keep you close.

He'll never bring it up, but he wasn't sure if he would make it back to you this time. He sleeps better than he had in days knowing that you're close.

It makes getting you up in the next morning is hard. You're a heavy sleeper, something Bucky was always thankful for on nights where he struggled to settle beside you. But when it's time to wake you up, he curses your ability to still sleep soundly like a baby after all the things you've seen, he envies it. He wants to let you sleep in, he wants to stay in bed with you, holding you, because who knows if he'll ever be able to do it again.

But he has to keep things normal. He has to keep you on your routine, otherwise you'll give in to your madness.

You think you're dreaming it, his hands on your side, his lips on the side of your face. You just can't bring yourself to open your eyes, exhaustion keeping it's hold on you. But Bucky is determined, a bit rough as he tugs you to lay on your back, your eyes flying open at being jostled, and he doesn't look apologetic as he smiles down at you.

"Hey, peach." He kisses you quickly, leaving nothing to soothe you back to sleep. "Time to get up."

His voice is hoarse, you realize, he's tired, too tired for your liking, and you wonder how long he's been up.

"A few more minutes?" You pout, curling your body around his, and you can tell he's on the verge of saying yes. "Please?"

But his will is far too strong. "You need to get up." He says, "Now."

And just like that, you're pissed, a sour attitude shifting your expression entirely, and he could care less, standing up to give you room to move. You have a dull headache, a hangover no doubt, but you ignore it as you dig through your dresser for workout clothes to change into.

He shakes his head at you, sensing your attitude, but he doesn't say a word as you stomp your way over to the door, pulling it open hard enough to bang against the wall. It's okay, he knows what you need, and he's been itching to give it to you.

When it comes to training, Bucky tends to be harsher on you, because he knows you can take it. It's the textbook definition of tough love, pushing you beyond your limits to make you better. It's the kind of training that leaves you sore and exhausted and covered in bruises, busted lips, black eyes, you aren't new to any of it. In fact, you're used to the feeling, and that's something most people would find scary. But you need it to stay sane, a distraction from everything else. You like when he pushes you beyond your limits.

You warm up with a jog around the compound grounds, the sun hasn't come up yet, the air crisp and cool and burning your lungs with each inhale you take. He reminds you to breathe slowly, in your nose and out your mouth in pace with each foot fall. He quickly realizes that your endurance has fallen low, his hand on your back to push you to run faster.

He doesn't take it easy on you, not even when you collapse into the ground, your body forcing you to take a break from running.

"Get up."

Your lungs burn, your face is hot, your legs are jelly, you shake your head.

"Look at you, you can't even speak and you have to nerve to slack off." He glares down at you, hands on his hips. "Get the fuck up before I drag you across the concrete."

His threat is very real, so you struggle to rise back to your feet. He continues on, super soldier stamina has him not even breaking a sweat, and you curse the cheating serum coursing through his veins.

"You're cheating, you have an advantage." You pant, fingers barely catching his arm to try and keep up. "I can't go as fast as you for that long."

He slows just a little, your hand wrapping around his bicep. "Which is why I push you. Your muscles won't ever grow past the strain if you don't experience it." He says. "Shape up, we're almost done."

He allows you a five minute break, which you spend chugging as much water as he'll let you have, laying on the floor of the gym to try and catch your break and give your muscles a break.

He starts you on the treadmill, pushing up the incline every ten minutes, and you can feel the strain it's putting you under. You haven't done this in days, and the alcohol that remains in your system doesn't help. You're just thankful that no one else is in the gym to witness your struggle.

Next is ab workouts, he joins you for this one, side by side on the mat as he walks you through each exercise. He flies through them with ease, hardly breaking a sweat. But you on the other hand feel winded, muscles aching as you use them beyond what you have been. He watches, carefully, a knowing look on his face when you start to lose your speed, but he doesn't let you stop.

This is what you need. An outlet, something to exhaust your energy and take the edge off. For the most part it helps. But there's only so much he can do to keep you occupied, so when he has you here in the gym, he makes it count.

He has you on weights, which turns your body numb, and you aren't sure what kind of damage it's doing, but you know that you'll be sore for the next couple of days.

He lets you take a break after an hour, you drink as much water as you can, eager to be away from his scrutinizing gaze, and you find Natasha returning from a morning run with Steve. They look like they haven't done anything a all, but the smell of outside and sweat tells you otherwise.

Natasha has the nerve to smile at you, recognizing the winded look on your face, and she settles next to you in the kitchen, hand on her hip as she drinks from a water bottle.

"I tried to warn you," She says, "He's kicking your ass, isn't he?"

She did try, you'll give her the credit, knocking on your door every day he was gone to at least get you to come out for a jog. But you refused, anticipating this intensity, and while you'll never admit that to her, she assumes you enjoy the torture.

"It's embarrassing." You say. "Even after all this time, he can wipe the floor with me if he wanted to."

She laughs at that, a twinkle in her eye that hints at the history she shares with him. "Yeah. You and me both." Her smile is far from innocent. "But I'm sure you give him a run for his money."

Your grin is wicked, "You can bet your perky little ass I do."

Your relationship with Natasha is complicated. Sometimes she's the older sister you always wished you had. Other times she's the extravagant aunt who teaches you the life lessons your mother was too modest to. Then sometimes, it's hard to tell, she's just an attractive woman admiring another attractive woman, someone with experience gravitating to someone who doesn't, because it's in her nature to enjoy the power play. If you had to guess, Natasha would bend you over the counter if she had the opportunity, just like anyone else living here in the compound. But she respects your privacy, respects the strange relationship you have with a man who is just as deadly as she is, and settles for the mischief you create together instead.

It's fun to feed into it, you always had a knack for sticking your fingers into flames, and sometimes you hold it over Bucky's head. Like last night, you didn't tell him what you did to convince Tony to let you borrow his car, but it's implied in your nature. You tend to be a bit hyper sexual, another trait that sometimes proves to be a pain in the ass. But Bucky has something to handle that too, and sometimes, at times like this, he lets you off your tight leash.

"Who's ass is perky?" He had been watching, of course he had, and the look on Natasha's face tells you that she knew it too.

"Depends on who you ask." You quip, flashing him an innocent smile. "Yours is, mine is, and hers," You spare a glance at Natasha, "Well, you would know, wouldn't you?"

He rolls his eyes, because you already know the answer to what you're implying. Nothing ever happened between him an Natasha. If anything were to happen, it would have been long ago, before they had both reformed themselves into the people they are now. He told you that, confessed his entire life to you, so he knows this is just your way of trying to get him worked up.

"Don't drag me into this." Natasha waves a finger between you both. "Whatever this is, I want no part." Her eyes settle on you. "I also suggest you cool it, because I'm joining you, and I don't want to be forced around awkward sexual tension."

You look at Bucky, raising an eyebrow. He only shrugs. "Steve too." He says. "I figured you needed a change in pace, you're too used to me now, you could use a different perspective."

Your break is obviously over, Natasha follows you as you walk out of the kitchen. "Yeah," She says. "Perspective."

The mood changes drastically, all playfulness gone from her when you step on the sparing mat together. To put it simply, she kicks your ass. You put up a good fight though, you actually managed to make her bleed, but in the end, she's too on top of her training schedule for you to find a weakness. That's the point Bucky was trying to make to you. You know him and his tactics, you know how hard he hits, you know where he'll strike, all you have to do is avoid it and expect it. But with an opponent you've never faced before, you're far too weak at the moment to properly defend yourself.

The next time you hit the mat is your last, nose colliding with the floor, blood gushing, a grunt coming from you that actually manages to distract your boyfriend who stands feet away, sparing with Steve.

You pinch your nose like you've been taught, instantly feeling that it isn't broken, and Natasha has helped you up by the time Bucky makes his way over.

He's actually sweating, panting hard as he takes your chin in his hand, examining your face. "You'll be fine." He says, glancing at Natasha. He nods to her, and you aren't sure what it is, approval, dismissal? "Hit the showers." He says to you, "You're done for now."

For now, there will be more later after lunch you're sure. You leave with Natasha, who reminds you to keep your head tilted, her arm linked with yours as she walks with you to the infirmary. The nurse on duty clogs your nose with gauze, telling you what you already know. It's not broken, but it will be bruised, and after the bleeding stops you need to rinse your nose clear of the blood. Until then, breathe out your mouth, and be cautious of blood that may trickle to the back of your throat.

"Want to step out with me?" Natasha meets you back in the kitchen after you both shower, her hair dark and dripping, and for a moment you think she's kidding.

Your body is starting to bruise, knuckles scraped and angry, nose bloody. But she simply stares at you expectantly, waiting for your answer.

"Okay."

You take her Camero, she lets you drive, and it turns out it's just a grocery run. She wants to cook lunch, macaroni salad, and you both do a bit of personal shopping while you're out. After getting the ingredients, you both occupy the kitchen to make it. It doesn't take too long, but the serving size is large considering how many people will want to eat it.

Tony comes to find you in search of food, and he asks you about his car, a strange smell that he can't quite place. Liquor, sex, sweat? It could be anything, but you decide to play dumb instead, biting your tongue as you smile at him and suggest he go get it detailed.

While the macaroni chills in the fridge, Bucky comes to find you carrying fresh gauze and an alcohol wipe. He gives you his protein shake, chocolate flavored, and you sip from it eagerly. His hands are gentle as he pulls the blood soaked gauze from your nose and you take a deep breath, feeling the dried blood and soreness from the impact.

He applies pressure to the bridge of your nose, stopping when you wince, humming low in his throat as he leans down to kiss you. "It'll be a nasty bruise," He says, "But you deserve it, you fucking brat."

You imagine his opinion will change when the skin on your nose starts to discolor, but for now, he feels proud of himself. You let him have it.

He wipes your nose gently, hand on your throat to tilt your head back, he points the corners of the alcohol wipe and wipes the inside of your nose, eyebrows knit in concentration, and you take the opportunity to feel him up.

Your hands slide under his shirt, the skin is smooth where his stab wound was last night, and once again you're amazed by his abilities. "Did you have fun beating up someone other than me for once?"

His lip quirks up in a half smile, "Nah." He says. "It's not as satisfying."

You smile despite yourself, wrapping your arms around his waist. "What about you?" He asks. "Did you find anything interesting while your head was up Nat's ass?"

"Jealous?"

His grip on your throat shifts, "If I were, this would be a very different situation for you."

He knows you're his, there's nothing to argue, nothing to worry about, even if the entire compound wants to rearrange your guts. A pretty young thing like you, he doesn't blame them. But they wouldn't be able to handle you, you wouldn't enjoy it, and it would send you right back to him.

You both know it.

"You're so scary." You kiss him then, silencing whatever remark he had for you, eyes slipping closed as he tilts his head against yours, cautious of your nose. He tastes like chocolate, and sweat, slipping from your arms to take a shower.

When he returns, the salad has cooled enough to eat, and naturally, Clint already has a mouthful before anyone else can get their hands on it. He too has just returns from a workout, his sweats drenched, Bucky crinkles his nose, scowls at the amount of people occupying the kitchen and opts for lurking in the hall, watching as you portion out bowls for everyone, including him.

He's amazed at your cooking skills, the two of you tucked away out back with bowls of macaroni salad, enjoying the breeze in the shade. You beam at his praise, smiling over a mouthful of food, but it doesn't last long, his finger reaching out to poke your noise.

Don't look too proud of yourself, he says, this isn't approved in your diet plan.

Yeah well, screw him and the diet plan.

He makes you run after lunch, a water bottle in your hand because he isn't going to let you stop for breaks, the only water you can have is what you can hold.

It's cruel, the sun high in the sky and beating down on you with an intensity that makes it hard to breathe, let alone run. But you manage, a familiar exhaustion washing over you as you push your body for the third time today.

He makes you a protein shake, joins you for your second shower of the day, and then he drags you to bed.

"All your hard work means nothing if you don't give yourself a chance to recover." He whispers in your ear, lips pressed to your skin, his arm cold against your side when he spoons you. "I know you're tired, peach. You did good today, now rest."

It makes it all worth it, the torture of exercise, the agonizing exhaustion he puts you through. Getting to lay here like this, the comfort of his closeness, a vulnerability that only you have been allowed to see.

You turn, sealing your lips against his in a sloppy kiss, one that has no real effort behind it but has all the desperation in the world. It makes his grip tighten at your waist, his other hand slipping down to yank your panties to the side.

"Okay, you can sleep after this."

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Masterlist

Like, Reblog, Share. It helps out a lot, thanks :)

#bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #winter solider x reader #reader insert #avengers fanfic #avenger reader #dark fic #bucky smut #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x reader #assassin reader #bad girl #avengers smut #natasha romanoff #clint barton #tony stark #Steve Rogers

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morgana-ren · 4 years ago

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why do asexuals always make it about themselves

Most asexuals I know are actually really laid back and chill and tend to not really care when folks are sexual. As long as I don’t get super gross or personal, they just sit back and giggle at my ridiculousness. I haven’t known many to get snippy or angry about anything so long as it doesn’t get nasty and uncomfortable, but most folks get a lil squeamish when it comes to that.

If you’re referring to the previous post with someone believing Shig-man would be grossed out with horny folk, it’s cause a lot of people tend to project onto their favorite character. An asexual person might headcanon him as asexual as well, and a bisexual as bisexual and so on and so forth. We might identify with the parts of that character that we see in ourselves, or use them as a comfort character, or maybe that’s just the vibe we get.

Its totally okay to headcanon! If you want Shiggy boy to be asexual, more power to you! If you want him to be pansexual, more power to you! Same with everything else! That’s more than okay! Just respect your fellow fandom folks and let them have theirs as well lmao fighting folks over headcanons gets absolutely nowhere. No one has a monopoly on a character, you feel?

Personally, I’m only hypersexual when it comes to very specific characters, so that’s kinda how I like to picture him. You would be very hard pressed to find me sexual with a living, breathing human. Kinda like the post said, I cope with my bollocks by being hypersexual with a person I love (except the person is fictional lmao) so that’s why all my stories are nasty McGee.

#anonymous #I dunno if this needs like a warning or anything

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rigorwh0retis · 4 years ago

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Adrien Redford NSFW alphabet hcs

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Adrien doesn't do aftercare. He mostly passes straight out after sex if it's really good, other than that he's likely to go to other things after he's done fucking. If he conks out, you can probably get him to cuddle with you in his dazed, tired state. Fair warning he will keep you in an iron grip while he sleeps so good luck getting out of it until he's awake.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Adrien loves a lot about himself but he really loves his arms and thighs because they're so big and muscular. On his partner, he likes their ass a lot. He is a huge ass man and he will love his partners ass no matter the shape or size.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Adrien fucking loves cum so much he wants cum on and in him. He loves receiving and giving creampies because he loves the feeling or seeing the cum drip out.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Adrien doesn't have a lot of dirty secrets, he's shameless so there's not a lot he's embarrassed about but back when he was younger. He got caught fucking his neighbors wife and had to run out of the house with his pants down to his ankles before he fell and scraped his dick on the sidewalk. He had to have someone apply ointment to his wounded dick.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Adrien has been with a lot of partners throughout the years so he has a lot of experience. He has so many fuck buddies he loses track of all his buddies and one night stands he's had. Has quite a high body count.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Adrien likes getting hit and hitting it from behind, so doggstyle is his favorite position. He prefers positions where someone is getting fucked from behind. However, missionary style makes him blush like a schoolgirl girl and is super weak in that position so if someone wants to make him putty in their hands, they're have to wrangle him on his back because he will put up a fight.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Adrien is 50/50 with being serious and being goofy during sex, it really depends on out pent up he is. If he's pent up and angry he will be very serious. But if he's been getting it a lot or is chill he'll definitely throw a joke around or just be a goof naturally.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Adrien keeps himself groomed but prefers to have hair because he is a very hair guy so there is gonna be a nice happy trail.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Adrien doesn't really feel love, or at least a healthy version of love. So he's not very intimate, he is very focus on pleasure than emotions and feelings of sex. He gets possessive and marks his partner if he's been jealous but there will hardly ever be intimacy unless that person was very very special but even then it's not much other than some gentle kisses and slightly less rough sex.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Adrien jacks off quite frequently. When he's not fucking, he is jerking off so much. If he's not fucking for awhile, he jerks off several times a day almost every day a week. He's just a super horny guy.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Voyeurism

Blood Kink

Public Sex

Slapping/Fighting/Violence

Sexting

Voice Kink

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Adrien is down to fuck anywhere at anytime. He likes fucking in public places where they might be caught or in front of windows where someone could see him getting fucked. He likes doing it in or on cars too.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Really anything can get him going. He's a super hypersexual man so he's ready to fuck whenever they are. However, voices really get him turned on, especially deep voices get him super hard like it's nothing. Also teasing him in public will drive him crazy and make him want to fuck his partner until they can't walk. Or, if you have the guts and the willpower, ignore him. Something about getting ignored and not being able to get attention from someone will drive him crazy and hard as a rock.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Adrien isn't turned off by much and will try anything once but he will say no too scat, feeder/food play, vomit and genital torture.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Before Adrien met Keone, he never liked giving head and only enjoyed receiving. However, after meeting Keke, he will eat someone out likes its his last meal. He wants to be facefucked until his throat hurts or have someone sit on his face and suffocate him with their pussy. He loves giving now and also likes to eat ass too.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Adrien likes it hard and fast. Nothing will ever be slow and soft with him, he enjoys being rammed into hard or fucking someone so hard they can't walk for weeks.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Adrien loves quickies, especially if it's a quickie in a public place. He wants it then and now so quickies are his absolute favorite.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Oh god yes, Adrien is all about taking risks and experimenting. Sex with Adrien will almost always be risky, nowhere is safe or sacred with him around. His partner will be fingered under the table or Adrien will blow his partner in an alleyway behind a restaurant.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Adrien can go many rounds and last for a long time. He can go for 3 rounds or even more if he's real pent up. His partner will be constantly worn out with him around.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Adrien doesn't mind toys being used on him, if anything he encourages his partner to use them. Adrien would love to be tied up with a vibrator in him and let in that position to his partner's mercy. He might use some on his partner too if they really want it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Adrien is a huge tease, he will tease his partner until they have to physically shut him the fuck up. It's almost non-stop teasing with this bratty asshole.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Adrien is extremely loud, he almost sounds like a pornstar when he moans and grunts. Adrien isn't ashamed to make noise so he's gonna let loose and make as much noise as he wants.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Adrien is extremely nasty for several reasons. One of them being if his partners leaves their underwear at his place. Adrien will try to cram himself in those undies and jerk off in them with video/picture evidence of him doing it to his partner. Will spam them with content of him jerking off in their undergarments.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Adrien has a giant cock. A real fucking donger on him. He's reaching about 8 inches and pretty thick. He has piercings on his cock which is a Frenum.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very high. This man is literally horny 24/7 and is constantly wanting to fuck.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Adrien will usually be dazed and sleepy after sex so he will often conk out right after fucking because he likes to fuck until he exhausts all his energy.

#my writing #risque #my oc #long post #text #adrien redford #bastard gang

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sortagaysortahigh · 4 years ago

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So like not to be a pussy about equality or anything but deadass Sarah has had more sex scenes than anyone on the show (whether you count that topper scene or not) and she’s still portrayed as a super soft saint while all JJs ever been shown doing leaning over a girl IN THE OPENING SCENE it lasted all of 3 seconds & I’m not saying “WelL SaRaHs a HoE” I’m saying she’s not hypersexualized in fics cause she’s a girl & slut shaming but because JJs a boy it makes it ok to do it to him?

I also think shes not rlly sexualized bc shes a girl, as odd as it sounds bc ik theres a lot of lgbtq+ ppl writing fics but i find it hard to find any like sarah fics in general besides blurbs or things that are v fluffy and like uwu sarah soft baby and also i think people struggle to write lesbian smut, i might be generalizing but i dont see a lot of kie or sarah smuts (and i pray that theyre all aged up smuts)

But i def understand what you mean as well, i think the narrative of guys like JJ being writen as the “bad boy, island whore, sleeps around and breaks hearts” is v common and it does make for good aus/fics bc its relatively simple but then it does easily cross the line of hypersexualizing a kid. Esp when graphic v kinky explicit smut is incorporated into things. I also think that yeah its a double standard to love the idea of a guy sleeping around then settling down while looking down on a girl who sleeps around and chooses to settle down. Its a reason that in my burn au and burn blurbs i make the decision to not have rafe or y/n feel the need to slutshame one another for having sex with other ppl before knowing eachother-like jealousy is one thing but slut shaming? Thats not cool.

If youre 16-18 writing smut about a character thats in the same age bracket thats one thing, youre allowed to fantasize and have your own kinks and shit like that, but i think its unrealistic to paint ppl as sex gods and huge fucking doms when theyre 16-18. Anything after that is like you do you babe bc youve had experience on that gravy train. But to see ppl over 18, in their early to mid twenties writing smut ab a 16 year old isnt cool, whether or not theyre male of female characters.

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

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There's also canon racism. Easy example: The Court of Owls. So, Martha Wayne was Jewish. Naturally, the richest families in Gotham, including the Waynes and Kanes (and it's more or less stated for Thomas Wayne) are part of a multiversal conspiracy. Or how Dick's rapists are portrayed as temptresses, a common Latina stereotype? Or Damian having his own private Gitmo? And how did Cass learn Cantonese, given her disability?

All good examples. I actually have another ask from the other day talking about the fact that both Mirage and Tarantula are Latina, which is not at all a coincidence and more just an indication of how prevalent the predatory hypersexualized Latina woman is in fiction, given that there are a ton of almost identical parallels not just in what Mirage and Tarantula did, but in their entire behaviors in the months leading up to those penultimate events - stalking Dick, getting enraged because of jealousy over his actual relationships, etc. So I’m working on a longer response there, and about how I think this impacts writing about those events and making them so central to Dick’s narratives as a survivor but at the same time needing to be mindful of the role racism played in selecting them as his aggressors and trying to divorce them from stereotypes or at least the further perpetuation of such stereotypes as much as is feasibly possible.

Its a similar thing with the Court of Owls.....yeah, the writers definitely didn’t think through the implications of having prominent Jewish families central to a global conspiracy. So for me, personally, its important to kinda divest them from that in-story wherever possible - which luckily isn’t too hard when it comes to the Kanes, since its likely they haven’t been a part of the Court for at least a couple generations. Kate’s dad wasn’t father of the year, but the Court was not his style I don’t think, so I have trouble imagining either he or Martha had anything to do with it, and that suggests to me that their father probably was the one who stepped away from the Court or refused to have anything to do with it and thus they might not even have known about it.

So much ugh to Damian’s storylines of the past several years, honestly. The prison storyline bothers me on so many levels, not the least of which is that one, but also like, remember the whole thing with Tim’s list of potential threats in Red Robin? This was just taking the very thing Damian objected to being made a part of, and then just like....dialed up to 100 because Damian as written by most writers has no chill whatsoever and is like what are limits tho. Its sooooo obnoxious when writers clearly either haven’t read previous stories with a character or just don’t bother thinking of their own stories in the CONTEXT of previous stories that might either invalidate them or just be like....hey, this ground has been covered already, and we went thataway, so....whatcha doing here.

And with Damian especially, it tends to be two steps forward, five steps back with him every time he gets a new writer, it feels like. People would rather regress him than progress him every time he gets even a hint of development, and its tired and also has more than a little to do with his own stereotypes. Nothing like selecting the Robin of Middle Eastern heritage to be the ‘problematic’ Robin to a degree even Jason can’t match (at least not as Robin).

Can’t they just de-age Jon back to his normal age and let him and Damian be BFFs who get into mishaps together? LOL what was wrong with that, I wanna know.

I’m gonna skip over the Cass part for now too, because there’s a longer meta I’ve been working on about Cass that covers a lot of that as well I think.

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mobius-prime · 4 years ago

Text

219. Sonic the Hedgehog #151

Chaos Emeralds are Forever

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Art Mawhinney Colors: Josh & Aimee Ray

So we've covered what's going on with Evil Sonic in Mobius Prime so far, but how is the real Sonic doing? Well, Evil Sonic went ahead and dressed him in the leather jacket and boots he usually wears and left him in a convenient spot where the evil Freedom Fighters would find him. Sonic awakens to find himself surrounded by them, all hurling insults at him and mocking him for thinking he could ditch them. He quickly figures out what's going on as they start beating him senseless, realizing where he is and just how bad his current situation has become. Perhaps the most surprising thing, however, is that unlike all their previous appearances, they're actually accompanied by Anti-Bunnie now, and interestingly enough, she's not half-roboticized!

I mean, it makes sense I suppose - our Bunnie only became who she did because of Robotnik being evil, and since this world's Robotnik is a good guy, there would have been no reason for this world's Bunnie to end up in a roboticizer. Hell, it's likely roboticizers don't even exist in this universe, at least not how we know them. Back in Mobius Prime, Evil Sonic approaches Rouge with the intent to woo her, but is thrown off balance when he realizes she recognizes him - or rather, his counterpart. He decides to play it cool as she explains she was just on Angel Island, and offers to give her the tour, catching her attention when he mentions the Master Emerald. This is enough to make her instantly scoop him up and take him for a flight, heading straight back to the island. Meanwhile back in Anti-Mobius, the Freedom Fighters have by now hung Sonic upside down above a lake, bound and ready to be drowned. Evil Antoine laughs that he's had this coming for a long time, and - wait, remember, that's not Evil Antoine, that's Antoine Antoine! It seems this entire time he's been forced to play along in the evil Freedom Fighters' ranks, while waiting for his chance to get revenge on the one who got him stuck here. As they cut the rope and send a resigned Sonic splashing down into the water, Rouge and Evil Sonic land on Angel Island, near where Rouge was initially strolling with Locke. They spy him some distance away through the bushes, and Evil Sonic recognizes the entrance to the Chaos Chamber from when he snuck into it all the way back in StH#44. Rouge, emboldened by this knowledge, tells Evil Sonic to wait for her signal and walks out to greet Locke, who is surprised at her persistence. And back again to Anti-Mobius, where the Freedom Fighters stare down at the water musing about Evil Sonic's manner of death, only to be shocked as he appears behind them soaking wet and stripped of everything but the boots, cocky as ever. Antoine, in particular, takes an interest in Sonic's words…

Hold it, buddy! That's your buddy! Sonic begins to fight back against the others, obviously still not aware that he's looking at the real Antoine, kicks off the boots and begins to fight back against the other Freedom Fighters, knocking them out one by one or throwing them into the water. The only one he leaves conscious is Anti-Rotor, who realizes by this point that he's the real Sonic and not Evil Sonic. As Sonic demands that Anti-Rotor send him back home, Evil Sonic watches eagerly as Rouge begins her routine on Locke.

All things considered, I'm glad Penders at least has Rouge's personality right. Too many people try to portray her as this hypersexual flirt who just wants to sleep with the entire male cast or something, but this is the real her - using her beauty and her flirtatious skills to distract her unsuspecting targets so she can rob them blind. Evil Sonic hears his own voice calling him names within the chamber, and is irritated to see his good twin step out from behind the Master Emerald. They begin to battle it out, with Sonic yanking his shoes off Evil Sonic's feet, leaving them both in their socks as they continue to punch each other. Locke, outside, suddenly senses a danger to the emerald and quickly leaves Rouge behind, recognizing now that she was merely a diversion. He enters the chamber to see the two Sonics wrestling on the floor, and deducing which one is the evil one due to him using a rock as a weapon, smacks him clean out of the chamber, leaving a bruised but happy Sonic safe on the floor. Outside, Rouge approaches the winded Evil Sonic, and makes a weird comment about how he only failed because he's a male, because grand theft emerald should only be committed by women, I guess? That's… less in character for her. She walks away, resigned to giving it up here and going somewhere else to acquire the shinies she wants, but Evil Sonic isn't done trying to win her affections yet.

Remember, she still thinks she's hanging out with the real Sonic. Why she hasn't questioned yet why Sonic the hero would want to help her steal his good friend's home's most important possession is beyond me. But either way, the real Sonic is dropped off in Knothole by Locke, where he immediately is set upon by Amy, whom he can't figure out why she's flirting so hard with him. He manages to get her dropped off at home without being smothered, only to be approached by Bunnie, looking for a round two of last night… Good luck dealing with the mess your doppelganger left you, Sonic ol' boy!

Stargazing

Writer/Pencils: Tania Del Rio Colors: Jason Jensen

We've finally made it! This is one of my favorite stories in the entire preboot despite its short length, and it's incredibly important to the future of a specific character. Sally awakens one night when she hears Nicole beeping on a table across the room. She looks over and briefly sees a shadowy figure next to the table, but when she rubs her eyes the shadow is no longer there. Wondering if she was dreaming, she gets up to ask Nicole if she saw anything, and thinks Nicole must be in sleep mode when she gets no response. She's about to go to bed when she notices her bedroom door cracked and becomes suspicious. Soon, she's dressed and outside under the moonlight, looking for whoever the intruder might have been. She spots a figure near a pond in the distance, and heads toward it, finding it to be a pretty but unfamiliar lynx in a dress, letting the wind blow through her hair.

That's right - Nicole's designed a physical form for herself! She sits by the pond and plays with the water, and explains that ever since she and Sally briefly switched bodies she's become fascinated with the idea of having a physical body, and worked on making one for herself using some kind of hard light hologram program. She's realized that though she's a genius in her own right, as an AI, she's never been able to feel the air or touch water, and wants to be able to do that, envying the abilities of living beings. Sally is delighted, and asks Nicole to stay like this permanently, telling her she can become a Freedom Fighter alongside the rest of the team, but Nicole explains that this program drains her energy very quickly and she's already becoming tired. Her files aren't secure in this form, since she's projecting a part of herself outward, so she chose tonight to test it out since all the Freedom Fighters are in Knothole and there's less of a chance of attack.

With that, Nicole's physical form fades away, but Sally doesn't go back to bed. Instead she stays lying on the grass for a while, watching the stars on her own, and as tears form in her eyes she begins to realize that in a way, she and Nicole are more alike than she'd realized - she'd also never properly taken the time to simply admire the stars above her. Not only do I love this story because it's the introduction of Nicole's physical form, but this seems to be the beginning of Sally's healing from her trauma. She's spent her whole life fighting, and been so caught up in all of it that she's never really had the chance to simply slow down and enjoy life, admire the beauty of nature around her. I think she's beginning to realize here that she can't continue on the way she has been, and has to stop and figure herself out first before she can continue on fighting.

#nala reads archie sonic preboot #archie sonic #archie sonic preboot #sonic the hedgehog #sth 151 #writer: ken penders #writer: tania del rio #pencils: art mawhinney #pencils: tania del rio #colors: joshua d ray #colors: aimee r ray #colors: jason jensen

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loki-godofmischief-myking · 6 years ago

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Love Is For The Foolish (4)

Loki x Asgardian!Reader

The story of Loki, god of mischief, and a dark seamstress. The chapter fic for Love Makes Fools Of Us All

<== Previous | Next ==>

Chapter 4: One-Night Stand

The sun’s bright beams of light burst through every window ridding the room of its darkness. The light shifted producing different shadows as the morning hours progressed. Eventually light found your face causing you to flinch away.

When you tried moving you felt a weight around your waist. Startled by your growing consciousness you turned back slightly to see your companion fast asleep. Hardly any noise emerged as you precautiously bit your lower lip to suppress a shocked gasp.

The memories of the night before flooded your mind. Loki had been a surprisingly generous lover. He had fully and thoroughly pleased you and you, in turn, did the same into the early hours of the morning.

Cautiously, you removed his arm and slipped out from under him. Your naked bodies finally parting for the first time since the beginning of the whole ordeal. There was a slight ache at your lower half as you sat up but you ignored it trying to get out of bed and dressed as soon as possible, preferably before Loki awoke.

“Where are you going, Love?” Loki made it be known that he too was awake, spoiling your plans to retreat quietly. A pleased smile appeared as the morning light provided him a perfect view of you.

Your arms made quick work of concealing your chest while your legs crossed and shifted. “Home, where else would I go?”

Loki too sat up letting the bed sheet fall down to his lap, barely concealing his manhood. He leaned over to you picking up a lock of your hair that fell over your shoulder. “If I were to be honest, I’d prefer you never left.”

You sharply inhaled as your heart raced. His words were seemingly more effective on you after a night of passion. However, you chose not to acknowledge that he had affected you in such a way. “You call me an enchantress but it is you who wills magic to affect me in a way befitting your needs.”

“You only prove my theories with every charming quip that befalls those tender lips of yours,” Loki tittered.

Enchantress was a word with double meaning. It was truly used to refer to women of magic or sorcery but it was also used to describe an attractive and beguiling woman. The latter being the one prince Loki more often referred to.

“How we ended like this had little to do with my reading your mind. Although I do believe you would have continued to deny me had I not taken matters into my own hands.”

He may think you gave in because he had your back to the wall. That you agreed because he knew you had a semblance of physical attraction to him.

But you knew the truth.

It was like you had told Sigyn. “If you ever do get married make sure you look for a man who will chase you to the ends of the earth- not for sexual satisfaction but for emotional support.”

The same was true for women. Financial support, sexual satisfaction, those were what most sought in a partner. What truly mattered was finding someone who can emotionally support you in your time of distress. The Prince Loki you saw the day before was a man of compassion and support. He chased after you; helped you both physically and mentally mend after your alarming altercation. In turn, you perhaps had grown sentiment for the prince.

That was alarming.

“Like this?” Your eyes scanned his for insight. “What is this exactly?” You were still unsure considering how you were both nonchalantly having a conversation in the nude, granted you were more aware of the lack of modesty than he was, and you had yet to forget how he dismissed your concerns of being heard. The way he held you close as you slept... you wondered if this was common aftercare for the women he frequented or was he being genuine towards you. “You speak as if this were more than a one-time whim.”

“Correct me if I am wrong lady Y/N.” Loki swept your hair back exposing your shoulder. He trailed his lips along the shoulder and collar bone stopping short of your neck where he noted a fresh bruise. HIs tongue darted out to lick the flesh, immediately concealing but not healing it. “You don’t strike me as a lady who would lay with a man for the sake of sexual satisfaction and be done with him.”

You shivered at the contact of his tongue when he started trailing lower down your sternum. His eyes leered at the chain of your necklace as it was nestled tightly in between your breasts denying him the pleasure of going further into the valley between them.

He spoke sweet words as he coaxed your arms off, to release the crystal from their soft prison. “A one night stand does not befit you.”

“One-night stand?” Your brow furrowed questioning the foreign term.

“It is a Midgardian term for a sexual relationship lasting only one night. From what I’ve read it usually is a result of inebriated young mortals with hypersexual tendencies and lax morals.”

“Then your assumption is correct.” You let go of your chest, as he wanted, only to wrap your arms around his neck. Your leg swung over his lap so you could sit on him.

The unexpected move elicited a primal groan from Loki. Only the thin bedsheet stood in his way as you settled down on him.

“From what I have heard, the term does seem to correlate to you Prince Loki.” You felt him grow underneath you. You slid forward to press your chest against his. “Truly, how many women do you seduce with that silver tongue of yours? I was more than willing to leave without another word.”

His hands rested on your hips to still you. “But now my enchantress?”

You sighed, “I do not doubt your interest.” All of the day before Loki had shown a genuine concern maybe even liking towards you. But there was too much uncertainty with the trickster. “However...”

Loki did not like your silent pause. “I assure you, I am always mindful of whom I let into my bed and always clear-headed lest I father countless illegitimate children.”

This was possibly the first time he was feeling more than just lust towards a woman. He didn’t really know what he was doing being so honest.

“You might want to rethink your selections, your Highness.” You reminded him of the woman who had let herself into his room the night before- effectively contradicting his previous statement.

“Again with the formalities.” He sighed realizing you were returning to your previous self. The one who wanted to keep her distance from him.

You smiled as you gave him one last chaste kiss on the cheek. “You really have changed my mind about you Prince Loki. I now know you are capable of more than you are ascribed to. I’ll trust you to keep this a private matter as we go back to our original task.”

\\\

Loki rapidly threw daggers at Thor until one finally lodged into his shoulder. His expression remained the same, there was no triumphant smirk or witty remark.

The muscular blonde prince dropped his hammer as he pulled it out. This wasn’t the first time he had been stabbed by his brother. He knew the difference between a calculated blow and a hit of chance. This was the latter and no matter how many times Loki disregarded Thor’s intellect, he was aware of his brother’s emotional disarray.

“What has you so distracted brother?” His mind was clearly elsewhere as of late. “Is this about your lady friend?”

After a night of heavy drinking, brought on by Thor, Loki had let your name slip but nothing more. It had been a great amount of mead. He eventually passed out and was taken to his room by Thor.

Loki glared as he was reminded of you.

Thor beamed smugly. For once he had found a weak spot to his brother and he was going to exploit it. “You called for her in your sleep.”

“We are done here.” Loki walked away leaving Thor in the middle of the field they had been sparring in.

It had been weeks since he last saw you. Whenever he called for you the messenger would return with a message of your own. Mainly you claimed to be occupied with work and only spared him one meeting since the night you shared together.

He had yet to tell you about his mother’s request to speak with you. He thought of using it as a way to force you to the palace. An order of the Queen was something you could not turn down. But ultimately it seemed like a cowardly thing to do.

Thor picked up Mjölnir before catching up to him. “Come now Loki I only wish to help.”

“My problems are none of your concern.”

“I am your brother.” He wrapped his arm around Loki’s shoulders to keep him from escaping. “If I can help you then I shall!”

“You can hardly help yourself, you oaf.”

Thor laughed off his brother’s insults. “Brother you may be smart when it comes to books but I am well-versed when it comes to women.”

“I doubt it, should I remind you of Lady Sif?”

He laughed that off too causing heads to turn. “Now tell me your lady problems brother!”

Loki silenced and shoved him into the empty hall. “Are you trying to alert all of Asgard?”

Thor smiled knowing this was the only way to get to Loki. Now that they were alone he became serious, eager to help his brother. “Mother expressed concern for you.”

The dark-haired prince sighed, of course his mother would notice his change in behavior. “Telling you would not solve anything.”

“How do you know?”

“You have never seriously courted. Even with Lady Sif, it has never been formal.” She was a childhood friend, the most likely candidate to be arranged to marry Thor by their father if he ever chose to do so. There was a history there that helped push them together. With you, it was all new uncharted territory.

Thor’s eyes widened in shock. Was his brother seriously talking about officially courting someone? “Are you truly intending to ask this Lady Y/N to-”

“I already tried!” Loki lashed out remembering how you reverted back to your old ways as if nothing had happened. His hands clenched into fists thinking how vulnerable he allowed himself to be in front of you.

The blonde prince realized he had dug into a fresh wound. Although he could not comprehend it fully without the details he knew his brother had done something even he could not.

“I’m sorry Loki.”

The very idea that there was a woman in Asgard who was able to capture Loki’s interest left him at a loss for words. Now to think that said woman also turned down a prince of Asgard was unreal. He wondered if who exactly you were.

\\\

“Sigyn there is nothing to discuss.” You maneuvered around the petite blonde woman to fetch some more boxes. “Now make yourself useful and tie the ribbons on those packages.”

She reluctantly retreated to the table lined with sealed black boxes. They were missing the black satin bow signature to your packaging. These were all dresses you had made and were now ready to have delivered.

On occasion, when work had pilled up, you piled on her to help. You were reluctant to hire help since you hardly needed it. Not to mention you loathed the thought of letting someone else into your life and your business was exactly that.

“You ran off with horrid bruises Y/N!” Sigyn shouted loud enough for you to hear her in the back room. “Then you came back with Loki and didn’t even come home until the next day!”

You sat down the large empty boxes on the other side of the table. “He helped me, that is all. You saw it, the bruises were gone so there is nothing for you to worry about.”

“I do not think worry is the correct word anymore. I’m more suspicious of you my friend. Without knowing what you two discuss during your meetings I can only speculate on a superficial level.” She finished tying the bow around the box and slid it aside. “I believe prince Loki when he said he did not harm you. His concern was genuine. Let’s say that event was unrelated for now. I still think you two resemble secret lovers. Acting as if you can hardly stand each other in the public eye only to passionately unite under the mask of night behind closed doors.”

“What an active imagination you have Sigyn.” You turned to your work in the hopes of dismissing her somewhat accurate theory. Taking another dress of the mannequin you posed a hypothetical. “Do you really think the prince would ever seriously court someone, more specifically me?”

“Someone... no.” Sigyn knew Loki thanks to her short stint as his betrothed. “You... most definitely.” She had seen it herself, you two were a match. From your dress to your intellect, it was like you had been made specifically for the dark prince. “If anyone could ever enchant prince Loki it is you.”

“I agree with Lady Sigyn.”

Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest when you heard the loud thundering voice of the eldest prince. The one you had yet to meet in person.

“Prince Thor,” Sigyn curtseyed with a bright smile. She had seen him walking up behind you but did not give you warning.

“Lady Sigyn,” Thor acknowledged her before turning to you. “And you must be Lady Y/N or shall I call you my brother’s enchantress?”

“My name is fine,” you responded in annoyance, “Prince Thor.” It was clear that he wasn’t here for your services. Your guess was that Loki had tired of sending a messenger. “I’m afraid I do not have anything befitting of you.”

Thor laughed, “I can tell you and my brother get along well.”

Your eyes widened at the thought of Thor knowing what had gone on between you two. “Did he send you?”

“No,” Thor looked to Lady Sigyn silently asking if he could have a moment with you. She of course obliged and stepped out with the prospect of returning later.

“Prince Thor I do not-”

“You can call me Thor.”

“I would rather not.” The tilt of your head caused your hair to fall forward. the unruly and untamed nature of your hair personified you. Even in the presence of a prince you were not afraid to speak your mind. “I do not take kindly to lies.”

"Truly Lady Y/N, I came of my own free will. I’ve been stabbed more times than I can count on my hands.” Loki had now been the one requesting to spar with Thor in order to channel his anger. It was getting less and less enjoyable. “Loki does not talk about his problems. He finds other PAINFUL ways to express his frustrations.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“After a night of heavy drinking he mentioned your name.”

“Wh-what did he say?”

“Nothing then.”

You sighed feeling relief wash over you momentarily. "I’m assuming he said something at a later time.”

Thor nodded, “I do not want to interfere in your life or my brother’s Lady Y/N but I can’t help but wonder why you rejected him.”

“I’ve been busy with orders, I sent the messenger to explain.”

“I do not mean his requests to meet for reading.”

“Then what?” you asked genuinely confused.

“His offer to court you.”

\\\

Loki sighed as he was straightening up his appearance after a quick encounter with one of the maids. She laid strewn out on his bed, utterly spent after he let his rage out on her. He damned the day he gave in to you. Sexual satisfaction was far more stimulating when feelings were involved. He was utterly smitten by you, enchanted by your very being. It just wasn’t the same with anyone else.

“Leave now,” he ordered.

The maid was quick to dress and exit the prince’s room.

Loki had yet to take a step when a knock came to the door. “What a clumsy fool you are to have forgotten something-” Loki bit his tongue when he opened the door to find you out in the hall. “Apologies.”

You shook your head. “No need to apologize, your Highness. I too believe I am a fool but for other reasons.” When you tried to leave he held you by the wrist and pulled you into his rooms.

“Let go of me!”

“Whatever you think it’s not what it looks like.”

“Truly? Did I not see a maid walking out of your door like a newborn fawn?”

Even though he felt quilt, Loki was not accustomed to apologizing for his behavior so instead, he tried to place blame onto others. “What I do is none of your concern. Was it not you who was so repulsed by the thought of me that you decided to stay away?”

“I never said that!”

“You did not have to!”

“Do you really think I would give myself to you if I was repulsed? Loki I was merely protecting us from this.” You let your anger go so you could accurately portray your concerns. “I need you Loki.” But you don’t need me. “You are the only person I trust with my crystal and the only person I can depend on if something like that ever happens again.”

Loki released his hold on your wrist. “Then why do you deny me?”

You stared in silence unsure if you heard right. The way he diverted his eyes confirmed what Thor had said. “Loki that morning when you told me of the Midgardian single night stand-”

“One-night stand,” he corrected.

Now it was clear, “Prince Thor was right.” Loki really had tried to court you, in his own enigmatic way. When he suggested you were not of the one-night stand type you assumed he was easing your mind about having given in to your sexual desire for him despite all the talk against doing so. In fact, he was trying to assure you that he was likely to continue into a courtship with you.

“What did that simpleminded oaf tell you?” Loki materialized dual daggers out of nowhere.

Your hand reached out to his arm, your touch easing him into lowering his weapons. “I heard you have inflicted enough damage already.”

The daggers disappeared with a strangled sigh. “I thought you understood that I was not intending to treat you like the others. From the beginning, I have treated you with much more regard, held you to a higher standard, respected and admired your many charms.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his words. A jolt of electricity ran up your arm when he held your hand and brought it up to his lips. You stared into each other’s eyes for a moment until a soft knock came to the door.

Loki recognized the familiar intrusion and held your hand firmly to stop you from retreating like usual. “Will you allow me to properly court you?”

“Loki I-” You felt rushed to answer when the knock was repeated.

“Do not overthink, Love.”

The nickname took on a whole new meaning now. Prince Loki was not the kind of man you saw yourself with before but now you knew... You really did foolishly fall for him. You nodded, “I accept.”

“Come in,” Loki called out allowing his visitor to enter, not before hastily giving you a chaste kiss on the lips.

Queen Frigga entered radiating warmth and happiness at the sight of her son. “I apologize for interrupting your time with my son Lady Y/N.”

She knows my name! “I should apologize for being here my Queen,” you curtseyed to her. “I will take my leave.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Loki took your hand in his once more as a silent statement of recent events.

“Indeed,” Queen Frigga’s smile grew. It was only a matter of time between you two found each other. No one but her knew how alike you two were. Deceit and darkness being central to you both. “I have something to discuss with you, my dear.”

“Me?”

She nodded, “about your heritage.”

\\\

It had been a long walk to the archives.

Loki walked the halls by your side, his hand resting on your lower back. He could sense your discomfort as you came upon a pathway guarded by multiple guards. They only moved aside with the Queen's command.

Once you were there you realized how old the room and its contents were.

The room was kept dark to preserve all texts and paintings within its walls. A long red rug with intricate design lined the central pathway. It looked a mix between a library and museum. Paintings of prolific persons were the main source of decoration along the walls followed by grand brass chandeliers on the ceiling. Their light source dimmed to the lowest capacity.

Your eye was caught by a glass chamber housing the first ever valkyrie attire. It was a heavy white dress accompanied with various pieces of silver armor. Touches of blue cobalt inlay along the trim. Your eyes narrowed in trying to make out the placard.

Loki urged you towards the case when he realized how it called to you. A silent plea for his mother to give you two a moment.

Queen Frigga acknowledged and proceeded on her own trusting Loki to bring you along shortly.

Bright-eyed and gawking you gave way to how much you admired the ancient gown. "It's remarkable; the woman who made it must have been a master seamstress. To create a piece so flowy and free yet sturdy enough for battle." You crouched down to look at the skirt catching a glimpse at the only mildly frayed ends. "To withstand the tests of time and stand here near perfection."

Loki had never seen such an innocent smile. "Would you like to take a look?" Without answer, he lightly tapped the glass making the front face disappear.

"I don't know if I should-" yet your hand reached out to it.

Loki chuckled as you gave him the perfect opportunity to tease you. “Saying one thing and doing another seems to be a frequent habit of yours, Love.”

“Should you mock the grounds of our rocky relationship before we even begin,” you shot back all the while your hands studied the fabrics. You were a true artisan, the feel alone gave you insights to the origins of materials. “Such powerful women the Valkyries...” Information was scarce yet you knew enough to idolize these women of battle. “I wonder why we no longer have valkyries.”

Loki also thought about that. He remembered his mother telling stories of the Valkyries to both he and Thor. “Did you know my brother dreamt of becoming a Valkyrie.”

“Prince Thor,” you laughed.

Loki nodded, “Mother had a lot of explaining to do before he understood how that was impossible.”

The light-hearted conversation relaxed you. It was obvious this was the intent, once again reminding you of your calculating dark prince.

Queen Frigga stopped in front of a pedestal, atop it laid a thick book. When you emerged with Loki she did her best to introduce you into the impending exigent. “By now you may have gathered that you are not entirely Asgardian.”

Your breath hitched as the Queen’s statement all but confirmed what you had only recently come to speculate with Loki’s help. “Was my mother from Vanaheim?”

She stepped behind the pedestal and opened the book. “This is the King’s archival manifest.” Her fingers flipped through the pages with grace and ease of someone who knew what she was looking for.

To you, it lacked the ceremonious appeal you had come to expect of the palace. Nonetheless, you were sure the contents were estimable enough.

“Information pertaining to your lineage, your birth, and your being may be more distressing and complex than you imagined my dear. I can not simply give you a yes or no response, there are important details...”

You have no idea why you turned to Loki but if it weren’t for his reassuring nod you would have turned away.

An action the Queen was well aware of.

“I am prepared for the worst,” you assured.

“And you would allow Loki this knowledge?”

Was it that bad? You once again looked to Loki. He stood his distance allowing you to decide for yourself. He did not say a word or try to make his case but his eyes said it all. He worried you still did not trust him.

“Yes,” you responded. Only time would tell if you made the right decision.

Frigga smiled, it was indeed as she had thought. Loki had managed to form a genuine connection with you. “Then I shall start with an apology Lady Y/N. For I personally bestowed the hematite onto you as a young babe. Rather than help you, I hid you.”

Loki had suspected his mother had something to do with it. There was no way Vanaheim would allow such a precious stone to be taken out of their realm by just anyone.

“Hid me?” You did not understand.

“You see, your father is not Asgardian as the archives state. He was a powerful Vanir warrior that was cast out of Vanaheim for refusing to marry the princess of the realm. By mere coincidence or perhaps fate, he came to be on Asgard. Odin chose to keep him as a tool, an upper hand against Vanaheim and all realms.”

“Sounds like father,” Loki interjected. Even if there was no war against Vanaheim he was securing his victory ahead of time.

“He showed great bravery in all of Odin’s battles. Soon he caught the eye of the women. Two, in particular, were especially fond of him, one was your mother and the other Lady Lilithen.” Frigga thought for a moment, of the best way to go about the next part. “He did not make it clear who he wished to court.”

You crossed your arms with a huff, “Truly.” For all your father’s supposed power, he too had a weakness. The one you had always known men to have- women.

Frigga could not steer away from the topic as it was the very reason you came to be. Both women proceeded to pursue him until one of the two was with child. “He married your mother hastily in a time of impending war. Only weeks before he was to meet his child Odin sent your father to Jotunheim.”

The Queen’s words left a bitter taste in your mouth and a pain like no other in your chest. Your father had not abandoned your mother, nor had he abandoned you. “He didn’t have a choice,” you concluded out loud. The revelation stung your eyes.

“The war of Jotunheim was nearly lost had it not been for your father.”

Loki reached out to you, his fingers had only brushed against your own when your hand fully clasped around his. If you weren’t so proud he was sure you would spill your sorrows into his chest like the time before.

“Rest assured he is in Valhalla.”

It was little comfort but it was something for you to hold onto.

Your eyes closed as you made peace with the fact that you had hated your father for all the wrong reasons. “Why was I raised to believe such lies?”

"That is truly the most difficult to explain without changing your reality, Lady Y/N.” Frigga looked down at the text, the words blood and death littered the page. “On the day of your birth, Lady Lilithen felt the urge to avenge her scorn.”

She remembered how she sent the palace healers when your mother had called for assistance with the birthing. The process had dragged on for hours, alarming her. Your safety was her first priority and soon it became Frigga’s as well.

That morning Frigga was informed of your father’s death. She took it upon herself to be there for those he loved, to see that his newborn was welcomed into the world without harm. It was the least she could offer when he had given his life in battle.

“After a long birthing, your mother laid exhausted and vulnerable to harm. You, at only moments of having come into the world, were also no match for what she had planned.”

Lady Lilithen was overcome with jealousy. She could not idly stand by while her beloved formed a family with another woman. With no qualms she stabbed her adversary several times, painting the sheets red.

Her sight turned to the small wailing bundle beside her wrapped in ivory linens. She retracted the kitchen knife from the still corpse and grasped it tightly, so tight her knuckles turned white. As her arm raised she was caught by the wrist.

In a single blink, a dark force emerged from the newborn. A dark shadow like figure loomed over her before throwing her to the farthest wall. The knife followed suit lodging into her abdomen.

The blood-curdling shriek caught the attention of the healers who were on their way back with Queen Frigga in tow.

Frigga quickly burst through the door to find the shadow wrapped around Lilithen’s neck.

Loki’s eyes widened shocked by the tale of jealousy, revenge, and bloodshed. His mother had to be embellishing. “How could an infant-”

“Do not underestimate the bond between a mother and child, a child and their seidr. Even with only a few moments of existence, Y/N’s seidr managed to save her. I can only describe it as a materialization of her inner self. Her pain, loss, and mourning permanently embedded with her soul.”

Frigga still remembered the horrified looks of the healers who entered after her to find you soaked in blood, none your own. The dark shadow threatening any who got close to you. Only she was able to get near thanks to a spell.

“I kept you in a deep sleep until I could find a solution. Your seidr was malevolent and unrelenting. I sought help from Vanaheim that resulted in my obtainment of the black hematite around your neck.”

At first, they resisted. Queen Frigga warned of your vengeful consciousness, of the dark magic that acted on its own. They were not keen on having a dark Vanir galavanting with abilities like the one she described. “I was asked to keep you from interacting with darkness. The safest solution was to omit your inner being and have you believe alternate origins.”

You let go of Loki’s hand to fish out the crystal. “I can not recall who warned me against removing the necklace but I find it odd... not once did I question or try to defy the warning.”

“It was not so much a warning than a spell. Small children would never listen to the parents, less so a stranger. I did what was necessary to keep you safe.” The familiar who had raised you was also someone she appointed. A healer who had been present at the time.

All you knew was a lie and perhaps you should have acted differently but that logical mind of yours knew it was all for the best. You had nearly played your own executioner the moment you took it off.

Perhaps now was ideal for you to bring up what had happened to you. “Several weeks ago I removed the crystal. That darkness nearly took my life.”

“Your seidr uniquely takes on a life of its own acting out on your emotions and thoughts. It must be lashing out against being subdued for years and never being called upon. The crystal does not take away your dark powers, it helps subdue them. If you are willing, you can learn to control and will your seidr as all Vanir and Aesir do.”

“How?”

Frigga looked to Loki with a hint of a smile. “I alone taught Loki from a young age. It is a lengthy process to hone your skills but with our combined knowledge I’m sure we can help you.”

-end-

A/N: Note this is way before the movies. This is young Loki okay. This is before he starts hiding his emotions more like in the movies. He has yet to enter a serious relationship.

Tag List: @drakesfiance

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serendipitykismet-moving · 5 years ago

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😠 for any of them!

😠 ; Is there anything you dislike about your muse?

||oh yeah. A lot of things actually, for both. I'll list a couple serious ones and then some funnier ones I guess?

Joey is borderline hypersexual, which is very frustrating for me, who's demi and sometimes sex repulsed all depending on how I feel on a given day. Some days I'm a-ok to write smut, but sometimes I'm just not. When he's horny and I'm not, his muse just doesn't work with me for anything else, which can be very frustrating when I want to unwind but my muses interests are elsewhere.

Kaiba is... Well he's a special brand of brat. His muse is very fickle at times, and I definitely can put myself into a bad mood playing him. Not to mention that I feel like him being a jackass in character can sometimes scare off other muns because He's just not super nice and definitely not very tactful. He's also just... Sometimes straight up got no interest in another muse, and fights me when I try and plot. He just is all around a pain in the ass, as much as I love writing him.

On the funnier side, though, they're both just absolute assholes. God forbid i ever write a drabble with them both because all they'd do is bicker. They're both shit stirrers who like to provoke other muses even when they shouldn't, which... Well I dont know that its so frustrating for me as it might be for other muns.

Also just something about my Joey muse makes it incredibly hard to switch between serious threads and crack ones. He's very easy to shitpost with, but I fully understand that if I get into that mindset with him that's literally all I'm going to get done.]]

#ooc || quick while no one is looking #joey || i'm gonna duel to my last breath!#kaiba || piecing together the jigsaw of my failures #mun || about whimsy #long post #||i wrote a fuckin essay im so sorry||

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matheuspedroh45-blog · 5 years ago

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shriekshrike · 2 years ago

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imawake and alive and STILL thinkin about last night so while i watch the rebroadcast, lemme do the rest of the party and expand on some of the other stuff from last night because i typed that on me lil phone while barely awake

imogen - like i said previously, green eyed monster (also! imodna truthers hoW ARE WE FEELING did we all SEE the look that Thee Laura Bailey gave when laudna and dusk were arm in arm? Delicious. I’ve never been romantically jealous of anyone in my life but seeing it acted out is sooooooo fun and funky) & also the fact that imogen is, compared to the rest of the bells outside of ash and orym, the most suspicious of new people. obvi bc she’s got the brain stuff goin on, but i’m obsessed with knowing if she feels at all guilty about not saying anything to anyone when she realized she couldn’t read dusk’s mind or dreams like!!! frothing at the mouth about it. it’s also really interesting bc it turns the laudna “i must protect my dear imogen, she deserves the best and the nicest, if anything happens to her, i’ll slit your throat and feed your eyeballs to my hypersexual rat skeleton pate” & imogen “she is my relief, she’s like music to all the noise, she cares for me and she’s scary and it’s good” dynamic on its head!! now imogen is gonna be ripping shit! Excite. Ment.

laudna - gods my girl is going THRU it. like...okay from the perspective that laudna has, ms “i’ve never been asked out before, i’ve never thought about relationships like this, it’s not really something i let occupy a lot of room in my head because who would ever love me, the creepy witch bitch in the woods with inky sweat and tears and a body that’s falling apart” hears from this objectively attractive and kind person they’ve met that “you’re special and beautiful and i hope you find someone who doesn’t find you awkward, i think you’re amazing” and then almost as quickly having that person turn out to be not only your enemy, but also actively trying to KILL and/or KIDNAP your friend and ally (dareisay...family) AND said friend’s parent, has been manipulating your party emotionally, lying and never ever actually answering anything. like. laudna already didn’t have that high of an opinion about herself like in terms of personhood, but THIS. the angst. the “if everything they said was a ruse...truly they never meant what they said about me in a moment of emotional vulnerability” like! bestie im frothing at the mouth. laudna beloved, i think you’re brilliant.

orym - your honor! i wuv him. realizing my last post on this barely made any sense bc i was rushing and v sleepy but basically the points I was /trying/ to make are: 1) orym is suuuuuper great at getting attached fast due to his past of losing people, 2) orym is naturally very protective over the people he decides are HIS responsibility (the crownkeepers and the infamous ‘this isn’t crime, this is babysitting“ line) due to his background as a bodyguard and how he lost his husband, 3) orym, from what we’ve seen thus far, rarely gets playful the way we all saw him with dusk sparring, mostly because he drew the dad card (head of security <3) and he let his guard down around dusk and that’s GOTTA eat at him like that angst....liam o’brien....if u can psychically feel this....eat ur fuckin heart out emo boi. also! orym has GOT to feel responsible the same way imogen might feel because he SAW the conversation between dusk and chet, he observed dusk the entire fucking spar, but he didn’t say nothin! (head of security!!! :( ) like u gotta imagine...what’s running thru his head rn....”they’re my responsibility, this is my family, these are my people, not again, please not again, not this, not fearne please, not this again, will--” which!! i also wanted it pointed out that orym has known fearne THEE LONGEST out of the bells! fearne is the one he always shares a bed with, always watches over, is always worried about but so fond because she’s fearne! she’s kind, she means well, and she’s fully capable of taking care of herself. orym’s the “just in case” guy! he’s the safety net, he’s the dad, head of security, he’ll protect you even on 3 HP because that’s what he does, it is intrinsically who he is and what he was put on Exandria to do. and to have that all ripped from him in five seconds-- bro i might cry legit

fearne....my darling. again. so eager to trust, so eager to have fun and cause mischief. the way she must be fucking reeling from the emotional whiplash. like seeing your mother for the first time in 90 years, having no real memories of them raising you, her saying ‘you grew up fast” and then getting the feeling of dread pool in your gut when you say “90 years” and she says “6 years” and how your mother still thinks of you as 7 years old, and how youre just going into your second century, having lived 100 years without her mother and father, how you are both so fucking young and so fucking old in that moment, “you led them right to us” “i’m sorry, but who?” GODS, gods gods, ilmater preserve us, the guilt, the responsibility

ashton - i simply have a very fun fantasy of ashton absolutely WRECKING SHIT because how familiar this must feel. to feel as though you know someone well enough, you saved them, bled with them, raced the death wish together. you let them sleep in the same room as your friends. let them near FCG, and now they’re trying to take your friend who is chaotic and kind and funny and like the sibling you never had as a kid. god, the flashbacks. the nobodies, people ash felt they knew, but who left them to die without even pausing to look. the fuck. back. yeah. i imagine ashton just leveling a motherfucking city block in sympathetic rage. because here’s the thing: anger is a secondary emotion. and that hurt in ashton? it’s been burning for a while now and it’s only growing stronger with the more people they add to the pile of “fuckers i care about i GUESS”

FCG - ok so FCG’s got me a bit stumped, bc...ok we’ve seen FCG get grumped up before because of all the “surprise! dancer’s alive~” shit and “oh em gee is that an AEORMATON alskdflkj” stuff, so i feel like this can go one of two ways: 1) FCG is there as emotional support the way they always do, stressed but “hey it’s fine, i’m fine, are you fine?” gets some of those mysterious stress points (very interested in seeing what THOSE are all abt mr’s mercer and riegel) and then has a bit of a talk about it later OR 2) (and my favorite route) FCG goes batshit! tm is happening, this is worth a bit of a breakdown even if most of the drama with dusk is going on with fearne (and to a lesser extent laudna for the aforementioned reasons) but this is a person who was up close and person with the group, all of FCG’s friends, who really liked this person and trusted them and FCG, the robit with emotional intelligence to put well-adjusted adults in cardigans to shame, didn’t clock it! also! of FCG’s interactions with dusk, the thing that comes to mind is from last episode when dusk is offering up more and more inane plans that are a bit more dangerous SPECIFICALLY for FCG, when FCG was like ‘nope, i’m not flying, sorry, not happening’ dusk’s rxn was! not...nice. it wasn’t super Out There, but it was that same rxn u get from ppl when they come up against a boundary they don’t like. which! FCG beloved...im worried for u my dear (insert: “don’t you ever wanna go apeshit, don’t you ever wanna stop being nice” meme)

chetney - ok best for last, my man, my werewolf, my wood worker extraordinaire, chetney pock o’pea (don’t judge me i cannot remember how to spell his last name) out of game, travis it seems had the most suspicions and GUESSED RIGHT without any fucking prompting which is so COOL to me bc again, ive watched cr1 and cr2 and i still believe that at the table, trav is the smartest player plot-wise (game mechanics wise, it’s riegel bc of the mtg background) bc he always finds a thread and follows it, which is why i absolutely LOVED him as cerrit in exu:c. besides the point, let’s segue back, but chet’s rxn to dusk’s betrayal i think is the most...clouded to me bc chet guessed it. and was RIGHT. i dont think trav said what erika whispered into his ear when he made that insight check, but he then proceeded to NOT SAY ANYTHING. will chetney feel guilty? did he prepare something? does the mother fucker who wants to kill santa have a plan? trav’s great at keeping shit close to his chest, not letting us in on the punchline or the plan till it’s in motion and it’s too late to stop. so what’s going on there...i’m invested in his reaction BECAUSE: a) he knew before everyone else, b) he’s getting closer and closer to fearne and idk if senior citizens is a work of artful trolling BUT chet has made it VERY CLEAR that he is not only more emotionally intelligent than everyone gives him credit for (ie: orym and will convo and the gift for orym) but he is also immensely compassionate for those he cares for. he gives them gifts, he listens to them, and he tries to protect them in the ways he knows how. yeah he’s a shit and he’s a bit of a money hoarder (which is HILARIOUS bc laura is so mad about it and it makes me cackle whenever they shop) but he does genuinely give a fuck about these chaotic shit fucks in bells hells bc they’re the one’s who are trying to help him, and he in turn wants to help them. chet is, aside from FCG, the oldest and most experienced when it comes to life in the party. he’s nuts, no doubt about it, and definitely has a higher than recommended penchant for fuckery but he’s still one of them. does he feel responsible for not saying anything? is he gonna wolf out immediately and rip into dusk like they’re santa? is he going to comfort fearne when it all comes down? who knows!!!

oka okay okay so we have 2 weeks to ruminate right but all EYE will be doing is praying to whatever listens to dykes pray that the bells r gonna rip shit bc these fuckers r BRUTAL

mostly thinkin abt my witches n orym bc I'm Like That

witches bc cmon. imogen already didnt rlly like dusk bc of a lil green eyed monster ('are you staring because you're jealous?') and laudna because. god. ok ive had this happen to me not quite to this extent but found out that a person who like. is so. wonderful to u. is also. not. Great. and a liar and manipulator. so ure stuck in that awful limbo of nothing they say can be trusted....what does that mean for me. o u c h. also bonus: imogen is gonna wreck shit bc laudna's involved as are her feelings so uh. *tugs on collar* y i k e s dusk. also! wouldnt be surprised if imogen feels a bit responsible bc she didnt say anything to anyone when she figured it out. hmmmmm delicious (edit 9.09 AM: i realized that i wrote laudna instead of dusk when i said imogen already doesn't like [BLANK] didnt mean that, imogen wuvs laudna anyway)

orym. bc he - and there is literal proof of this - has lost. a lot and he gets attached quick and tightly. like there r times in exu and in cr3 where we get to c orym b SUPER playful and it is truly a delish opp BUT one of the first times we...rlly see him get Real Playful (and this is a reach, but im leaning across the table, but i'll bet actual money that the spar w dusk? was the same way he would blow off steam and play w will food for thought 🥹) is when he spars with dusk!! he even says it 'i havent gotten to let loose like that in a while!' and then when dusk (in the process of being rejected which did have me ahootin n ahollerin simply for the context) says 'u wanna talk abt it?' and orym goes "raincheck" like. yoinks. orym only talked abt will once with chet and it was on watch w no one awake (also worth noting: orym is so severely and fiercely protective of the ppl who r his esp in light of what his job was and how he lost will like....dusk....whomever u r...ur ass is grass and not in a fun way)

fearne. my beloved. my darling. who felt so not alone. who said 'we are practically siblings' who trusted dusk beyond a shadow of a doubt. and dusk who made fearne feel not so alone in all this. who lended juuuuust enough comfort and familiarity for fearne to latch onto, the girl who lived her whole life without her parents, missing them like a mirage, more memory than reality. the girl who saw a woman with the same face, the same eyes and hair and legs. the girl who said '90 years' when her mother said '6 years'. the girl who watches, in horror, as the person she'd come to care for as a SIBLING as someone who UNDERSTOOD HER, transform before her eyes, grab her mother and her arms, whose mother says, horrified and scared 'you led them straight to us' and fearne says back 'i'm sorry but who?'

anyway maybe ill also do the rest of the party bc i have Thoughts abt chet n ash n fcg but for rn....im schleepy

#cr spoilers #critical role #bells hells #WOW i love them

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