#empowerment story

[harmonyhealinghub]

My Journey of Empowerment: Nurturing Others Despite Infertility

Shaina Tranquilino

December 15, 2023

Life has a way of taking unexpected turns, leading us down paths we never thought we'd tread. For me, the journey of being infertile and not being able to have children has been one filled with both heartbreak and triumph. But despite this challenge, I have found solace and purpose in my career as an early childhood educator and doula. Today, I want to share my story of how these roles have empowered me, allowing me to nurture others even though motherhood may not be a part of my own story.

Finding Fulfillment in Early Childhood Education:

As an early childhood educator, I am blessed with the opportunity to shape young minds and provide them with a solid foundation for their future endeavours. While some may argue that only those who are parents can truly connect with children on a deep level, I believe that love knows no boundaries or biological ties. Every day, as I engage with these little learners, I witness the joy they bring into my life - it's like having hundreds of surrogate children.

Through teaching, storytelling, playtime activities, and fostering learning environments that encourage curiosity and growth, I find immense fulfillment in nourishing their development. The trust they place in me allows me to be their guiding light during this crucial phase of life. Being an early childhood educator enables me to channel my maternal instincts towards helping every child flourish emotionally, intellectually, and socially.

The Empowering Role of a Doula:

While my infertility prevents me from experiencing pregnancy firsthand or giving birth myself, becoming a doula has allowed me to empower women throughout their transformative journey into motherhood. As a doula, I offer support physically and emotionally during pregnancy, labour, and delivery. This role gives me the privilege of witnessing the incredible strength women possess while bringing new life into this world.

By providing guidance on birth plans, offering comfort measures, and serving as an advocate for the mother's wishes, I aim to make this pivotal experience a positive and empowering one. My personal journey with infertility has taught me compassion, empathy, and resilience - qualities that I bring to each birthing experience. Although not being able to have children of my own can be painful at times, helping other women embrace the beauty of childbirth allows me to find solace in nurturing their journeys.

The Hidden Mother Within:

While society may equate motherhood solely with giving birth and raising biological children, I firmly believe that there are many ways to embrace the spirit of motherhood. The love we share, the care we provide, and the impact we make on others' lives are not limited by our ability to conceive or give birth.

Through my work as an early childhood educator and doula, I have come to understand that motherhood is not defined solely by genetics but by the connections we forge and nurture with those around us. Each child who enters my classroom becomes a part of my extended family, while every woman I support during birth becomes a cherished part of my journey towards empowerment.

Infertility may have altered the trajectory of my life in unexpected ways, but it has also led me down a path filled with purpose, fulfillment, and joy. Being an early childhood educator provides me with endless opportunities to shape young minds and nurture their growth. As a doula, I empower women through pregnancy and childbirth journeys they embark upon. Through these roles, I have come to realize that being a "mother" extends far beyond conventional definitions; it encompasses compassion, understanding, and dedication.

Though I may never experience parenthood in the traditional sense, my career choices enable me to leave a lasting impact on countless lives. By embracing the hidden mother within myself, I am reminded that love knows no boundaries - it transcends biology and manifests itself in various forms. And so, I continue to embrace my journey of empowerment, finding solace in knowing that nurturing others is the closest experience I will have to being a mother.

[aahanna]

The world of Premchand's female characters..

This is the strong aspect of Premchand literature.

To understand Premchand's creative vision, it is necessary to look deeply at his philosophy of women. Of his approximately 300 stories, a hundred are on women's life, while not more than 50 are on the rural environment. The role of female characters in his novels is also not less. There are strong female characters in every novel. Among his female characters, Suman, Sukhda, Nirmala, Jalpa, Dhaniya, Malti etc. cannot be forgotten.

Premchand's women society is Shatarupa. It contains heart-touching stories of human relationships. In his profuse female characters, glimpses of relationships like girl, young woman, girlfriend, wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter-in-law, widow, sister-in-law, prostitute etc. will be found, in which their independent personality has been lost and women have become the embodiment of exploitation, slavery and submission. Yes, but this is one aspect of his women's philosophy. Nirmala in his literature

('Nirmala' novel)

Live and die the most painful life, but all the female characters are not destitute and slaves of men, rather these women challenge male authority, refuse to accept their husband as God and are active participants in procreation and Swaraj movement. Women will be found.

Premchand depicts the traditional form of woman in his literature. It reveals the poignant nature of her being a woman and her compulsion to live with the problems and tortures of family life and creates a modern sense of self-consciousness in her. It is written about Malti of 'Godaan' that she was a butterfly from outside and a bee from inside. There is a collection of modern woman's values in her butterfly and traditional feminine values in her bee.

To understand their women's issues, it is important to know and understand Dhaniya and Malti.

Is. This modernity in Premchand's women's thinking is not from the Western women's movement, but is the contribution of Arya Samaj. He was a member of Arya Samaj and was associated with its reform movement. Along with this, they consider protection of sexual purity and chastity of women as paramount. Premchand creates high level human ideals (sexual purity and chastity along with service-sacrifice, motherly love, sacrifice, motherhood, creation of family, active for national goals) and consciousness of self-realization in the female characters. These women have the ability to take a man to divinity ('mystery' story). In 'Godaan', Mehta says, 'Woman is as superior to man as light is to darkness. Forgiveness, sacrifice and non-violence are the highest ideals of life for humans. Woman has achieved this ideal.

Premchand does not want to break the family. Although his story 'Bade Ghar Ki Beti' is famous, he also gives it a modern form. They talk about the use of artificial methods for family planning and limiting the family to two children and its rights, monogamy, man's right over property, divorce and woman's right to half the property.

In his writings, Premchand brings the Indian woman equal to the man and writes that the man should give up the madness of ruling over the woman, otherwise they will remain in their own rights. They should have equal rights and the decision should be left to them only.

In this way Premchand establishes the condition and direction of Indian women and becomes the father of women's discussion. Her women's thinking becomes the foundation of independent India and women get many rights.

Source - kkgoyanka

[alicentflorent]

I swear Alicent’s entire storyline is some humiliation ritual which panders to the anti Alicent crowd who thinks she should repent for being a hypocrite and suffer for daring to hurt Rhaenyra

[yourcosmicstar]

“Sometimes it’s cosmic. Sometimes it’s tragic Keep going until you find your magic”

-Star

[queeringclassiclit]

Irene Adler

from the Sherlock Holmes series (A Scandal in Bohemia) by Arthur Conan Doyle

[pinkrose05]

Am I the only one who doesn't vibe with the Gaiathra Triclops = Ena the Order theory?

[kimberlychapman]

I actually have to leave the house for a medical appointment again tomorrow so I did my nails last night. Note that I do this for myself for lulz and not for any kind of "professional" result so I do not want unsolicited advice. Yes, I know I dented two of them while wet. No, I do not file or push anything back. No, I don't want to. This is casual for joy, not for criticism.

I am meh on the base colour but I usually do blue/purple as the base and I wanted to try the black for the proper effect with the face stamps (this is all done with nail plates and a jelly stamper), and I definitely like the faces better like this than when I do the white on the blue/purple background. Clearly I need to get myself some light blue/purple polish.

Although Picard looks angry. SpaceDad, what did I do to be so glared at?!

Also I have definitely been putting on little puppet shows for myself. If enough people request it, maybe I'll do a video.

[images: Four nails on the right hand, featuring the Millennium Falcon, Spock, a Dalek, and a Klingon Bird of Prey (not cloaked).

Thumb nail of right hand featuring Picard who looks very stern.

Thumb of left hand with Data.

Fingers of left hand, with an Adipose, Tardis, Deep Space Nine with partial lettering that if whole would say Property of Deep Space Nine, and a partially destroyed Death Star.]

The Spock on gives me this vibe:

[image Dancing Spock gif]

Also let this serve as a reminder that you can keep your nails as short as you like (I'm a crafter, I always cut mine very short) and still occasionally have fun with them because you don't owe anybody a perfect aesthetic for anything at any time.

[vizjpmdose]

THE COUNTESS.

American Horror Story; Hotel. (2015)

[purpleheartskies]

Robby's rejection of toxic empowerment

In s4, Robby didn't become "Cobra Kai". He didn't become a bully or an aggressive asshole. He didn't go around consistently terrorizing other people, especially those who have hurt him the most. There were certain things that Robby did while in Cobra Kai, which I'll talk about in the post, but overall, Robby didn't become the epitome of toxic masculinity/empowerment that the characters who adopt Cobra Kai's philosophies become.

The Cobra Kai/Eagle Fang philosophies represent toxic masculinity/empowerment in a lot of ways. This is shown through almost all the CK dojo characters that are focused on. Johnny and Kreese of course are prime examples of this. But amongst the kids, Eli is the epitome of this. He adopted a facade, vandalized a dojo, and became an outright bully, to the extreme of intentionally breaking his former best friend's arm. He demeaned women and even praised Miguel for cheating on his girlfriend. Miguel is a more subtle example. At the end of s1 it's most obvious, but throughout the series, Miguel is entitled, possessive, unable to take accountability, aggressive, wanting to win at all costs (and then showing mercy), and has other subtle toxic behaviors. He not only would ignore the bullying happening around him, except when it allowed him to score points with Sam, sometimes he would take part in it (like in s2e2). Miguel has also felt justified in taking his anger out on Robby since their first encounter, despite Robby not having done anything to harm him. In s5, Miguel still chose violence to resolve his issues with Robby instead of choosing a better way. Tory also used Cobra Kai's toxic empowerment to justify attacking Sam more than once and encouraging others to hurt their victims. And, Kenny became a bully after adopting the Cobra Kai philosophies over the Miyagi-Do philosophies that Robby had taught him.

Robby is the odd one out. While these other kids embraced Cobra Kai's toxic empowerment, by embracing their anger or jealousy and using it to justify hurting others, Robby used Cobra Kai for something else:

"And I had all this hate inside of me... and I thought I could use Cobra Kai to control that."

Robby viewed being able to channel your hate into fighting as a means to control it (like working out to relieve stress) and not as a justification to hurt others. The one time Robby fully embraced Cobra Kai's toxic empowerment (during his match with Kenny), Robby immediately regretted it and rejected it again because he was so devastated by what he'd done. Even after quitting Cobra Kai, Robby returned to Miyagi-Do and didn't join Eagle Fang, aka Cobra Kai lite, which advocates aggression until you win then you "show mercy". Miyagi-Do rejects aggression, unless necessary for defense.

Robby readily adopting Cobra Kai philosophies, that is adopting toxic masculinity/empowerment, would have been out of character for Robby. Of the characters that are focused on, Robby exemplifies positive/healthy masculinity the most. Daniel, I would say, comes second, as he struggles with his aggression and humility more than Robby does.

Robby's traits that exemplify positive/healthy masculinity

Robby's not a bully or aggressive

Robby shows kindness, respect, empathy, and compassion

Robby exhibits humility, shows vulnerability, takes accountability, and tries to grow

Robby respects and supports his girlfriends and the boundaries they set with him

Robby tries to talk about his feelings and his relationships

Robby doesn't care for unhealthy rivalries

Robby's not a bully or aggressive

Robby has never bullied anyone and rarely relies on, encourages, or condones violence (unless necessary).

Since s1, Robby has been full of anger/"hate", yet Robby has never adopted a toxic attitude of entitlement because of his anger. In turn, Robby took to Miyagi-Do's philosophies quite naturally, and he tried to adopt the Miyagi-Do lesson of "letting go" of his anger. Granted, I don't agree with this approach unless it's done in a healthy way, but the point is Robby applied Miyagi-Do principles to try to control his anger. When he couldn't control his anger the Miyagi-Do way, he joined Cobra Kai with the mindset of not embracing Cobra Kai's toxic empowerment but using Cobra Kai to channel his anger into fighting to control it. Robby never truly left Miyagi-Do or its principles behind and stuck to his goal of trying to control his anger.

In a past post, I pointed out that the 3 times Robby "struck first" he didn't actually strike first physically, he tried a non-aggressive approach first. In s3e5, he first asked Shawn to leave him alone, to which Shawn said he would never leave him alone. In s3e8, Robby first asked Miguel to stay out of it. Miguel refused and challenged him instead. (I talk more about Robby's actions in this scene later.) In s4e4, Robby first went to Johnny to tell him to tell his students to leave Kenny alone, but Johnny didn't care to listen. In that post, I also mention that Robby's one time intentionally showing "no mercy" (in his match with Kenny), he was so controlled that he didn't get dq-ed from the match and the scene was edited to exaggerate his actions.

In s4e5, Robby's actions against Eli were wrong, but Robby's move against Eli was to remove the source of Eli's toxic empowerment and strip him of his toxic masculinity so that he would stop being an aggressive bully, as Robby knew from past encounters that Eli felt empowered by his Hawk facade to bully and hurt others over meager slights. In s5e8, when Eli told Robby that he'd shut Kenny up, Robby responded, "Don't go too hard on him. You remember what it's like to be in Cobra Kai. It's not Kenny talking. It's Silver," and Eli agreed. Robby used empathy to change Eli's mind about hurting Kenny.

In s4e7, Robby encouraged Kenny to not attack his bullies and to be better than him and Shawn. In s4e10, Robby stopped Kenny when he was beating Anthony and reminded him that this isn't how Robby taught him. In s5e4, Robby tried to convince Kenny to leave Cobra Kai, warning him about what Cobra Kai turns you into. In s5e8/9/10, Robby still encouraged Kenny to try a better way.

No matter if Robby was in Cobra Kai or in Miyagi-Do, Robby always encouraged Kenny to try a better way.

Robby shows kindness, respect, empathy, and compassion; Robby is protective of others, especially those who need help defending themselves

Robby had befriended Nestor, whereas Johnny and Kreese would insult and belittle him.

Robby started out the series selling drugs and scamming a guy of his laptop, but soon after Robby's shown not wanting to cheat the potential laptop buyers. It seems hypocritical, but that moment indicated what's been shown as the series has gone on: Robby has a kind heart and didn't like the path he'd been on. Later, Robby didn't rob the LaRussos with Trey and Cruz, and he stopped them and dropped them soon after Daniel's lesson of knowing who you are and visualizing and making a better future for yourself. Although Robby continues to struggle with who he is, Robby held to the Miyagi-Do teachings even while in juvie and in Cobra Kai, which speaks to who Robby inherently is and who he continues to try to be. (Robby's fawning in s5 is of course an extreme and is related to his trauma, which I've talked about in many recent posts.) Also, whenever Robby's past has been brought up, it's made clear that he never physically hurt anyone. Robby had done what he needed to to survive because Johnny and Shannon don't care for him.

In s1e4, despite how Shannon treats him, Robby told Johnny not to insult Shannon. Robby's scene with Shannon in s1e5 revealed how sweet and vulnerable Robby is. Robby has never raised his voice or spoken angrily about or to Shannon, except maybe in s2e2 when she and her "boyfriend" had surprised him after she'd been gone for a few days and was now leaving again without making sure he'd be okay. Despite this, he still threatened her boyfriend against hurting her. When she returned months later without caring about him the whole time, Robby didn't show her any outright anger or disrespect, as he has shown Johnny at times.

Of course, Robby's shown anger to people, but he rarely gets in someone's face or insults them first. Johnny may be the exception to this, but Johnny has earned Robby's rightful anger. Even then Robby has tried to show empathy to him at times, like in s2e1 when Robby told Johnny that he knows that Johnny wants his forgiveness. Robby was also patient and willing to listen to Johnny in s3e4 when Johnny showed up at the soup kitchen after having missed the visit that Johnny himself had scheduled. Robby has given Johnny more chances than Johnny deserves. It's not easy having to navigate dysfunctional relationships with loved ones, especially as a kid having to deal with self-centered, emotionally immature, and neglectful parents.

Robby in general shows kindness and respect to others. He's usually softer spoken to women, but he's also softer spoken to Kenny. I won't count the scene with Carmen in s5e5 because Robby was carefully seeking her permission to be able to have dinner with his father at her home. (Her response should have been that as Johnny's son he doesn't have to ask, as opposed to her reluctant permission that he's always welcome. If she has a problem with him because of the school fight, she shouldn't have started a relationship with his father.)

Robby has always spoken respectfully to Amanda. Although he did con his way into the job, he worked diligently and never disrespected the LaRussos, even behind their backs, except maybe when he got upset that Daniel had promised to teach him karate but was having him do all his shitty chores instead.

Robby was kind to Demetri and accepted him for who he is. Robby didn't bully or make fun of him for his nerdiness, or think less of him for struggling with karate. Robby also protected him from Hawk more than once.

When Sam said that Tory is the worst, Robby said, "Well, remember what your dad says. "There's good in everyone." She just has to be shown the right way... But if you wanna kick her ass, I won't stop you." Of course, he said that last part as a joke. Regardless, he didn't guilt Sam to feel bad for Tory, like Miguel does.

Robby protected Sam in school, although he'd just learned that she'd cheated on him. He later asked Miguel why he'd taken advantage of Sam, because Robby knew that Sam had been drunk that night at the party. In juvie, Robby defended Sam to Shawn despite watching her TV interview in which she doubted whether he had accidentally kicked Miguel over the railing. Robby also defended her to Tory in the probation office and after the house fight.

"You okay, man."

In juvie, Robby showed concern for the random kid who was being bullied. Robby also gave a kind smile to a homeless stranger he served food to at the soup kitchen, despite his own miserable situation.

Robby bowed to Miguel despite his unfair loss in the s1 avt, and Robby bowed to Eli in return in the s4 avt. Robby even talked back to Silver to defend his decision to show Eli respect.

Robby empathized with Sam in s1e9 when she said that she felt bad for keeping a secret from her dad. Robby also empathized with Tory in s4e8 when she said that she wants to win the trophy so that she could look at it and know that she was good at something.

In s4, Robby had turned Kenny down at first, but Robby agreed to mentor Kenny after hearing more details of Kenny and Shawn's story as well as seeing the video of Kenny being bullied. Robby showed empathy when hearing about Shawn being in juvie because his act of protecting someone had also gone horribly wrong, like it had for Robby (Kenny in Shawn's case, Sam in Robby's case). Robby also empathized with Kenny's situation of being alone, so Robby decided to be the mentor he wish he had when he was younger.

Robby openly shows his compassion and protectiveness for Kenny, even in front of others.

He shook his head when Kyler was hazing Kenny at the drive-in, then gave supportive advice to Kenny.

Robby immediately came to Kenny's defense when Robby saw Eli intimidating Kenny. Robby made a move against Eli's toxic empowerment to stop him from bullying Kenny anymore. Before Robby did that, he told Johnny to intervene, but to no avail. Robby didn't want to hurt Kenny during the weakness lesson and still gave him a fist bump afterwards, despite losing in that lesson. Robby's compassion, especially for Kenny, is narratively Robby's "weakness".

After Robby stopped Kenny from beating up Anthony, Robby didn't put Kenny down, but simply stated that this isn't how Robby taught him. Robby showed concern for both Kenny and Anthony in that situation, despite also learning that Anthony had been Kenny's school bully.

Robby exhibits humility, shows vulnerability, takes accountability, and tries to grow

When Robby takes accountability, he's sincere and humble. He usually states what he did and why. I'm not going to talk about his fawning behavior in s5; I'll mostly focus on moments in s1 to s4.

In s1e8/9, Robby wanted to come clean to Daniel about why he'd gotten a job with him, but was afraid to. When he finally went to try to tell Daniel the truth, Daniel found out that Robby is Johnny's son before Robby could tell him, and Daniel threw Robby out. In s1e10, Robby wasn't angry at Daniel, and when Daniel approached him, Robby sincerely apologized to Daniel for lying to him and told him why.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, Mr. LaRusso. I just wanted to get back at him."

In s2e2, Robby sincerely apologized to Sam for snapping at her and gave an explanation why. Robby later sincerely thanked Sam for telling her parents about his home situation. He told her that not all friends would do something like that, and that it's nice to have people looking out for you. Robby showed sincere gratitude to her for what she had done for him and to her family for taking him in.

In s2e4, Robby was going to leave the beach club after the manager tried to kick him out, even though Amanda had stood up for him. Robby agreed with the club manager that he didn't belong there because of what he'd done the previous summer. Later, Robby took accountability with Daniel for confronting Trey and Cruz about the wallet thefts. Robby admit that he had put himself in that situation.

In s2e10, Robby told Sam it was his fault too for them getting in trouble for not going home after Moon's party. Robby then said no more lying. He admitted that Miguel had returned the medal of honor, that he put it somewhere where someone would find it, and that he didn't want Miguel to earn any points with her because she and Robby had just kissed. Robby openly, shamelessly, and sincerely admit that he had felt insecure.

"I guess I felt insecure."

In s3e2, Robby took accountability for Daniel having to clean up his mess, for stealing the van, and most importantly, for kicking Miguel. In fact, Daniel tried to take the blame on himself, and Robby didn't let him.

In s4e2, Robby apologized to Tory for sweeping her leg as part of the lesson.

One apology that he didn't give that nicely was to Eli in s5, but Eli acted like Robby had always been the problem and like he himself had never been an asshole.

Overall, Robby has taken accountability but he's surrounded by people who dismiss him, his feelings, and his experiences. His parents' behavior towards him is especially traumatizing. Robby had every right to call Johnny out for why he missed the juvie visit and for not being there for over a month prior to that. Johnny has never cared about Robby or about how his behavior affects Robby. Robby also had the right to be upset with Daniel after the ambush/arrest because he didn't care to hear Robby's side of the story or show that he truly believes in Robby, like Miyagi would have done for Daniel. Daniel can't claim to be doing what's best for Robby without actually understanding Robby and what he'd experienced.

In s5, Robby's big "alpha" move against Silver and to show Tory and Kenny support was defined by courage, humility, and empathy:

"I came here to apologize. I let you down. Turned my back on you. I didn't understand at the time but I realize I was wrong. I shouldn't have just left."

Silver recognized that Robby's move was influential enough that Silver made a point to try to undermine it with his "they hear you, but listen to me" demonstration. Robby had told the Cobras that Silver leads by fear. This is considered to be the inverse of leading by respect, which is more effective. Robby showed respect to the Cobras in this scene and later tried to respectfully talk them down before the brawl.

Robby respects and supports his girlfriends and the boundaries they set with him

Soon after meeting Sam, Robby backed off when she said that she has a boyfriend. Robby didn't pursue Sam after her break up. They almost kissed a few weeks later, when it was mutual, but he stopped it at the time because he didn't want to screw things up with her dad. She pursued him anyway and went to his room one night. At this point, he gave in and started to date her. He later waited for her cue to tell her parents. She eventually cheated on him, and after the school fight, she dismissed him about it by saying that her feelings had been complicated. He in turn had refused to believe that she had cheated on him, until he saw proof of it otherwise. (I'll talk about the s3 Miyagi-Do scene later.)

This is in contrast to her relationship with Miguel. He first pursued her, even though she said that she wasn't interested in dating. After they started dating, he showed up at her house uninvited to introduce himself to her dad, without her permission. She still doesn't know that he did that. He immediately assumed that she was cheating on him with Robby, got upset the next day when she wouldn't return his calls, got drunk over it, and then got in her face about his suspicions and accidentally punched her while trying to fight Robby for defending her. She dumped him when he refused to take accountability and instead tried to justify his actions and blame her. He also said he'd double down on hurting Robby, which he followed through with. He still looked for her afterwards, as if he'd done nothing wrong. He continued to pursue her by repeatedly calling and messaging her, then stealing Aisha's phone to call her. He then stomped all over her Valley Fest demonstration. Then he went back to pursuing her by making the cheesy video. Then he started dating Tory, even though he knew he was still hung up on Sam. And although he was dating Tory, he aggressively took the medal of honor from Hawk and went personally to return it to Sam. Although he had to give it to Robby, he only gave an apology for Sam and said that he himself wasn't an asshole, instead of apologizing to Robby as well for his past behavior. Then he purposely approached Sam at the skating rink to talk, and he gaslit her about his actions in s1 because she was now with Robby. Then he approached her again while she was drunk at Moon's party and kissed her, knowing that she was drunk and dating someone else. He also cheated on Tory in the process.

Robby never crossed these types of boundaries with Sam. The one time he hid something from her (the medal thing), he eventually owned up to it on his own and even admit that he had felt insecure. In fact, in s1e9, when Sam said that Miguel would be upset that she was late, Robby told Sam:

"So you're a little late. Big deal. He shouldn't give you a hard time about it."

Also, at the roller rink, Robby took Sam's side and didn't get upset with her for them getting kicked out of the roller rink. Compare this to Miguel at the prom after-party in s4 who immediately blamed Sam for fighting Tory and ruining their night, although Miguel didn't know who had started the fight between them. Miguel also got upset with Sam for having a moment with Robby, despite Miguel having his own moment with Tory.

Sam is stuck in a toxic relationship with Miguel, as he does gaslight her and guilt her about things. For example, he doesn't show her understanding or empathy about Tory but usually defends Tory or minimizes her issues with Tory instead (at the hospital in s3e3, after the prom fight in s4e8, during their phone call in s5e1, and outside of Stingray's apartment in s5e9). On a subconscious level, Sam even recognizes the toxic hold that Miguel has over her. In her dream in s5e3, this is how the characters spoke to her:

Daniel: "You're LaRusso 2.0."

Moon: "Sam, you're one of the girls."

Robby: "You're the girl who broke my heart."

Eli: "You're the girl who lost."

Miguel: "You're my girlfriend, Sam. Why can't you just be supportive?"

Interestingly, Sam sees herself as an individual in all of these, except when it comes to Miguel, then she is his: "You're my girlfriend." While dream Miguel views her as his possession and accuses her of not being supportive, dream Robby expresses his emotional connection with her. In the prom fight, Sam said to Robby that he thinks she broke his heart but he broke her heart too. Consciously and subconsciously, she acknowledges a deeper emotional connection with Robby than she does with Miguel. In Miguel's case, she belongs to him and has to live up to his expectations.

When it comes to Tory, Robby never used her or cheated on her. After Tory told him that her new job is none of his business, he later expressed concern for her bad mood but told her he knows it's none of his business, showing to her that he cares but also respects her boundaries.

"I'd ask, but it's none of my business."

Tory later asked him to prom, as a way to show interest in him, but he only got serious with her after they both said that they don't care about their exes anymore. This is in contrast to Miguel who chose to start dating Tory, despite his obvious feelings for Sam. Robby also waited for Tory's cues before kissing her and more. Robby supported her for her final avt match because of how important it was for her, despite his personal struggles at the time. Miguel in turn left and didn't support Sam for the match. Later, on their phone call, he brushed off the importance of the match for her as just "karate", even though she'd reminded him that he knew what it meant for her to face Tory.

Although Robby could have been nicer to Tory during their break up at the water park, he never raised his voice at her, and he had admit earlier that he knows that she can take care of herself in Cobra Kai. He essentially wanted his space from Cobra Kai and gave her the ultimatum. Robby also commented about her winning the tournament and everything being good now, which seemed to be a reference to their conversation at prom about what it would mean for her to win a tournament and to the fact that Tory is back in school and on track for a future, while Robby is still nowhere. In turn, she had used his issues with his dad to shut him down earlier and hadn't been honest with him about why she wouldn't quit Cobra Kai. Regardless, as soon as he found out the truth about why she wouldn't quit, he went to the dojo, risking Silver's and the Cobras' wraths, to apologize and show her his support.

Overall, though Robby struggles with his insecurities and his traumas affect his behavior in his relationships, he still tries to be there, be kind, and be respectful to his girlfriends. Robby also treats Sam and Tory as karate peers, recognizes their skills, and can fight in sync with both of them.

Robby tries to talk about his relationships, especially with those involved

Robby genuinely cares about his relationships and actually tries to talk about his relationships and how he feels about them, and usually gets dismissed. Robby may not always take the nicest tone, especially with Johnny, but when the opportunity arises, Robby tries to work on his relationships by talking to and actively listening to the other person, even taking accountability and speaking about his feelings (like when he'd confessed about the medal and feeling insecure about his relationship with Sam).

He's tried to talk to Johnny about how he feels about their relationship and/or how Johnny has had made him feel about himself in s1e4, s2e1, s3e4, s3e10, s4e4, s4e10, and s5e1. He also tried to talk to Johnny about his falling out with Daniel in s2e1. He tried to talk to Shannon in s1e5. Robby talked to Daniel about Johnny in s1e10 and s2e1. After s3e2, Robby refused to talk to Daniel for a while because Daniel never heard his side of the story, despite Daniel promising to in s1e6 after Robby had fallen for Louie's prank. In s4e6, Robby made a pointed comment about what he thought Daniel's intentions were for coming to him (that Daniel wanted to use him), which went over Daniel's head. In s5e6, Robby talked to Daniel about their relationship, but sadly, it was to take all the blame on himself so that Daniel could feel better about himself. In s4e1, Robby tried to talk to Sam about their relationship too, and she dismissed what she had done and made their conversation about what she wanted from him for the dojo war. In s5e4, he tried to smooth things over with Kenny. In s5e10, he tried to talk to Kenny again and to Tory, but both dismissed the conversation in different ways.

Robby doesn't care for unhealthy rivalries

Of all the good guy characters, Robby is the one least driven by rivalries. Robby's major driving force is his trauma, or more so his trauma responses, however Robby himself doesn't start or actively pursue rivalries. Robby mainly engages in healthy competition and fights fair, and tries to keep his distance, if possible, from those who have hurt him.

Robby and Miguel's "rivalry" has always been one sided. Robby never did anything to Miguel directly after seeing Johnny give Miguel the gi and hug in s1. Robby didn't even do anything to Johnny directly. Robby instead went to Daniel to get a job with him and get a LaRusso auto shirt with his name on it to "get back at" his dad. At the end of s4, Robby admit to Johnny that Robby is full of "hate" for him and for Miguel. However, throughout s4 Robby barely showed any outward expressions of hate or intense aggression. Instead, Sam is the one who felt empowered by Eagle Fang (aka Cobra Kai lite) to stand up to and be aggressive towards the person who has scarred her both physically and mentally. Before his s4 finale conversation with Johnny, Robby only spoke to Johnny once earlier in the season, and Robby was measured throughout that conversation. At the drive-in, Robby passed a pointed comment to Miguel and then agreed to a fair fight between the dojos. At prom, Robby nudged Miguel to get his attention, before Robby and Tory stole the show. At the after party, Robby stared at Miguel briefly in a resigned manner and then later fought Miguel after he found Tory struggling with Miguel on the ground as she was telling Miguel to let go of her. Robby also spoke the truth to Miguel that Johnny just uses Miguel to feel better about screwing up with Robby. At the avt, Robby also gave Miguel a respectful nod, in recognition of his fighting abilities. That was pretty much the extent of Robby's interactions with them in s4. Despite being the main kid in Cobra Kai and the main antagonist kid to the "good guys" in s4, Robby didn't exhibit the expected aggression, bullying tactics, and violence of the Cobra Kai students. In s5, Robby continued to want his space from Miguel, which Johnny refused to give Robby, instead forcing him to fight and become friends with Miguel to satisfy Johnny.

In s1e4, Robby taunted Johnny about his rivalry with Daniel. Robby later tried to use it against Johnny to "get back at" him, but that didn't last long as Daniel became a real mentor to Robby. In s2e1, Robby told Daniel that Johnny cares more about his rivalry with Daniel than about Robby. In s2e10, Robby told Johnny that he and Daniel could learn a thing or two from each other. Robby was the first of the kids to suggest this.

In s2, Robby encouraged Sam to talk to Aisha to smooth things over after Valley Fest.

When Sam's issues with Tory started in s2, Robby told Sam that Tory just needs to be shown the right way. Robby later defended Sam from Tory in the school fight. In s3, at the probation office, he defended Sam as a "good person" to Tory, and in s4, he called Tory out for attacking Sam's home. Both times, Tory tried to turn Robby against Sam, but he rebuffed Tory, only for her to be proven right by Sam's actions soon after. Robby did encourage Tory to go to prom to throw Sam off balance before the tournament, but his plan was to just show up and put on a show to steal the attention. He didn't encourage anything beyond that between them. He also wasn't a factor in their rivalry starting and doesn't guilt either of them to sympathize with the other.

For Kenny and Anthony's rivalry, Robby was surprised to learn that Kenny's school bully was Anthony. Robby knew that the situation with Eli was separate and that Kenny was still being bullied in school, based on their conversation in s4e7. In s5e8, Robby told Kenny that Robby's heard that Kenny is now the bully and encouraged Kenny to hash things out with Anthony. Although it seems that Robby didn't understand Kenny's pov, Robby himself has had to deal with Trey and Cruz, with Miguel, and with Shawn as bullies. It also seems like Kenny doesn't know that Shawn was Robby's bully, which would probably change Kenny's perspective about Robby's suggestion to him. Also despite having been forced to use violence to resolve Miguel's rivalry with him, Robby still encouraged Kenny to use "another way" to resolve his rivalry.

How trauma affects Robby's behavior

Before I finish, I want to talk about Robby's trauma responses, particularly his "fight" trauma responses, because there have been times that Robby has responded with aggression. An obvious example is what happened at the end of the school fight. But, I've talked about this so many times that, here, I'm just going to say that Robby's reaction was completely understandable given the circumstances, which included him being physically assaulted, made to feel unsafe, and stopped from protecting his girlfriend. How it ended had been an accident.

Instead, I want to focus on Robby's behavior from s3e8 to s3e10, which spanned the 48 hours or so after Robby got out of juvie. Robby had been in an unsafe environment for months where he had been all alone and had been abandoned by all his loved ones who had each indicated that they thought the worst of him. He had to look out for himself. This had also been right after the traumas of the school fight, being on the run, and then being ambushed with cops by someone who he thought would atleast hear him out first. No doubt, he spent his months in juvie anxious, stressed out, and hypervigilent, especially after being bullied and beaten. After he was released from juvie, there are signs that he was still on edge and stuck in a fight response. The first thing he saw outside of juvie was Johnny and Daniel in a stand off. When he saw Tory at the probation office, he immediately reacted as if he was going to attack her, as the last time he'd seen her, she'd been attacking Sam in school.

Her rational response to him wanting to fight her sunk in, and he held back.

Later at Miyagi-Do, after coming face-to-face with the truth that Sam had cheated on him willingly and without regret before the school fight, Robby was actually pretty controlled in his demeanor overall. His anger and hurt were visible. He was standing rigidly, his fists were clenched, and he had tears in his eyes, but he kept his distance from Sam, kept his voice as controlled as possible, and focused mostly on her instead of on Miguel. When Miguel interjected, Robby told him to back off. Miguel then stepped forward and challenged him. Robby then responded by striking at Miguel before Miguel could strike at him. Miguel has a history of striking first at Robby, and given Robby's mental state, he responded to protect himself from a likely imminent attack. After Sam stopped him, Robby left. The next morning at Cobra Kai, the moment that Eli saw Robby, Eli immediately moved forward to fight Robby, so Robby started to poise himself but Kreese stopped them.

The last and most important scene is with Johnny in s3e10. Johnny had barged into the dojo and soon after started attacking Kreese. At one point, Robby had to verbally stop Johnny from using a weapon to attack Kreese. Then, Robby had to physically stop Johnny from continuing to attack Kreese. Robby was already on high alert and then witnessed Johnny aggressively physically assaulting someone. Robby had been calm at first, but by the time, Robby pulled Johnny off of Kreese and then Johnny asked Robby to "trust" him, Robby's anger had taken over. Given how Johnny has treated Robby his whole life, and especially with Johnny choosing Miguel over Robby for so many months and taking Miguel's side about the school fight, Robby's anger, which is rooted in so much trauma, was understandable and rightful and his breakdown was tragic.

Overall, after leaving juvie, Robby immediately encountered high-intensity situations. Not all of Robby's "fight" responses have been violent, though. For example in s1e5 he went and got a job with Daniel to piss Johnny off (that is, get his attention). In s4e1, he decided to try to win the tournament and to teach the Cobras Miyagi-Do so to show the "good guys" that they aren't better than them. Toxic masculinity/empowerment includes aggressiveness due to entitlement, ego, selfishness, insecurity, etc. But Robby's worst moments have happened in the context of traumatic experiences or self-defense, and Robby has to be in a bad state of mind or in a "no choice" situation for him to respond with aggression. I think it's important to make this distinction because regardless a person can still give into anger at the worst of times and that doesn't mean that they embrace toxic empowerment in general or relish in it. For example, one time I wouldn't call Eli an aggressive asshole, though I also don't condone what he did, is how he went overboard with beating Brucks. Eli's trauma from being bullied played a role in this situation. Also, and most importantly, one of the main aspects of Robby's character journey is that he has been trying to control the "hate" he feels due to all of his trauma. Robby does NOT want to be angry and aggressive.

Other aspects of Robby's characterization that can be misconstrued as toxic masculinity are his counterdependence and his trust issues that cause him to not ask for help and to push others away. These make it seem like he believes he's better than others (which he's right to say about himself when it comes to Johnny). However, these traits are the result of his trust being broken so much and having to grow up too fast and rely on himself so much.

Overall, despite everything Robby has been through, he rejects the toxic masculinity/empowerment that comes with embracing Cobra Kai and embracing "hate" and is the main character who best exemplifies rejecting such behavior and embodies the opposite of such traits.

(As always, please don't comment or reblog with dismissive comments about the nuance in the story. The nuance is part of the story, and the story is exploring important topics like trauma, bullying, neglect, and dysfunctional relationships.)

[infinitewavesblog]

Why I love writing female protagonists

I consider myself mostly on the male binary, and though I can occasionally identify with the non-binary experience, especially in the case of gender roles and the subversion of gender, I can more closely relate to those whose bodies look like mine (i.e. melanated skin, male sex organ, the enforcement of said gender roles in adolescence), I find my creativity is easier to express when I go as far outside of what I'm familiar with as possible.

I am much more creative with designing female (even AFAB non-binary) characters and fleshing put their personality because (to me at least) women are much more malleable characteristically. Throughout my two biggest stories, women play integral roles in keeping the plot going, leading to a resolution, and even setting up conflict. My typical go-to when I want to create a unique and interesting experience for the audience is to do something outside of what I'm used to, or what I've seen a lot of. Sometimes that includes inserting a woman.

And I handle these feminine characters in my stories with much more tact than I would the masculine. I balance out the rough with the soft, the aggressive with the gentle. And since I'm so used to creating stories where everyone is just fighting, having a cast of characters with widely different views of the world not only influences their actions in and out of combat, but it also affects those who they interact with. I love writing dynamic characters, who have an influence on each other.

I'm familiar with the struggles that come with being a man, especially a non-traditional man; even further, a black man. What I only get to spectate is the struggle that women go through. It's heartbreaking and I fear for women's safety constantly. I may never get to truly alleviate suffering for there is always some amout of evil out there that goes unpunished; but if I can write some justice in the books for the women out there, maybe it'll open people's eyes to just how unfair the world has been to people at large.

[nellasbookplanet]

I'm currently slowly working my way through the Animorphs books (just finished The Andalite Chronicles today and this goddamn tragic children's book nearly made me cry) and I'm so upset I never picked these books up as a kid, I would've adored them. But I'm also incredibly amused that one series I did imprint on as a teen was Michael Grant's Gone series, specifically for its freaky sci-fi worldbuilding and the way it portrayed kids and teens going through horrific situations and comitting horrific acts without brushing over the resulting trauma and consequences or treating it as just a 'fun adventure'. And then I find out that Grant co-wrote the Animorphs books and is married to Katherine Applegate. Yeah, I can see that.

[thesiouxzy]

I’m loving all the female empowerment posts & women supporting women (especially on Threads). I love how women finally seem to be ANGRY this time! Use the rage. Rise up & fight!

✊🏻✊🏼✊✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

“All Girls To The Front!”

[sucksesful-user]

A bit different than what I normally post, but I was beyond disgusted by this. The video was of a female police officer at the scene of a crime. A man wrestled her to the ground, beat at her, and shot at her.

He was found innocent. For attacking a woman.

These were the comments on the post. I cannot believe how disgusting they are. Why are we saying women are too weak for these roles, instead of questioning why men behave like this? Shouldn’t more men be outraged that this innocent officer was brutally attacked?

this right here is why women choose the bear. Because some men cannot even support women at their jobs that they clearly earned and qualified for. I am at a loss for words about how crass and misogynistic society is, even after women probe themselves time after time.

I encourage you women to be bold and steadfast in all you do. Achieve your goals and keep proving men wrong until you cannot be silenced.

[herrmit]

not to start shit but. tell me you didn't understand princess jellyfish without telling me you didn't understand princess jellyfish

[isawthismeme]