#emotionally taxing for me 😭

[infizero]

god. i miss loona so fucking bad.

[hoziersredguitar]

I miss old tumblr in the sense that i could complain about board exams and worrying about not getting enough to be eligible for my medical entrance test and i'd have summoned half the indian side of tumblr to sympathize

[lauradonnelly]

tas my beloved are you okay 🥺💕

my sweet fyscka 🥺

[forbidden-interlude]

Anyways I’m very conflicted because I went out on a date Saturday and that went as well as first dates can go but then I went out on Sunday with someone I dated previously and they gave a whole speech about wanting me back and idk I was like sure but now the Saturday guy is wanting to pursue things (idk why I thought that would just fade out)

And now I don’t know what to do because I’m actually worse with options and it’s why any type of roster dating makes me go insane

[lordiavolo22]

almost left the shelter and safety of my 7 big cocked demon boyfriends for the worlds lamest mass murderer virgin light iamgay.

[shadow4-1]

continuation of the medic imagine please oh my goddd it was amazing 😭😭

lil panicked medic reader sobbing cus she couldn't save one of the 141 members; reliving the entire situation with her mentor all over again

Haha that imagine is honestly my baby.

I've worked on it for weeks to get the feelings right, and I'm glad I got it across. I'd love to write a second part but we'll see. Whumpy ficlets take a lot out of me emotionally (I also work in a very emotionally taxing profession - so I need to pace myself).

Now, I would LOVE to start a feral!medic series where I delve into what it would be like to deal with the constant anxiety/stress of dealing with these knuckleheads and their pain olympics.

Ngl, tho a lot of my more "intense" stories ideas are on hold for the next couple of weeks because of finals. I've still got a lot more lewd, funny stuff already ready to go though!

So please, bear with me in the meantime :)

[dipperscavern]

pondering anon here but in the asoiaf universe there are literally lords that go around asking for invites to the bedding ceremonies so they could watch lol… I would like to think that the stark men would be against bedding ceremonies for that reason… I agree completely that jon and robb would be less concerned with preserving tradition than cregan. Though cregan would never put his wife through that! Past the bedding ceremony i do believe that the stark men would not be for voyeurism/exhibitionism or anything of the sort. They do NOT! share. Kings of the north and monogamy.

The asoiaf universe is so insane… stark men save us !

asking for bedding ceremony invites.. i grimace, clapping twice and a trashcan falls from the sky for me to throw up in

the stark men would be on the fence about it, and it could go both ways tbh. they could be convinced to do it but would also completely shut it down if you didn’t want to. cregan is like 200 years in the past, so he holds tradition closer — but he still wouldn’t make you do it if you didn’t want to. robb & jon are in a different time, and honestly, they’re too emotionally taxed to care about tradition. they’ve had their families ripped from them, their wife will do what she pleases & if anyone has any problems with it, they can complain to greywind & ghost.

idk if anyone read the tags in the original bedding ceremony post, but i said that’s part of why i think i gravitate to stark men so much. because they want you to be respected & if there’s ever a situation where it’s out of your hands i like that you can always count on them to protect & preserve your dignity (esp as a woman). that’s truly for me what makes them feel so safe.

also, yes. no voyeurism/exhibition kinks for the stark men. they love you too much to risk your dignity 😭bless their hearts. & they’re too possessive. the asoiaf universe is truly crazy. stark men save us can you hear us stark men-

[derekgoffard]

Colin's older sister is a very small part of his background, however Ive had some characterization down for a while now so I thought I'd make a little post about her 🤲.

Her name is Claire Midland! She has virtually no relationship with Colin and probably does not ever wish to see him again yayyay 👐. She also has those mother issues that make you a bit mean and desperate for comfort all the time but that's okay 👍.

Some extra trivia under the cut 🕊️

( THESE ARE ALL WRITTEN VERY MESSY + INCOHERENT. IM SORRY IF U ATCUALLY TRY READING THIS 😭😭😭😭😭 )

- she went into nursing because she wanted to give others the kind of care and attention she herself craved - however she eventually realized that was not at all the reality of nursing. She kind of hates her job 👹.

- her life revolves around this funny little cycle of her feeling this constant sense that she is unloved, which leads her to constantly be seeking comfort ( physical and emotional ). However she never feels comforted for long, hence the cycle continuessss la la la🤸.

- her favorite thing ever is being coddled, she's a hard worker but she wishes she wasn't.

- She loves flowersss, but she can never keep them alive. Despite this she continues to buy them, only to have them die in days. Her favorite flowers are sun flowers 😊.

- her necklace has her and her mother's birthstones ( emerald and topaz ).

- she's never held a steady relationship for over a year but she has alot of positive one night stands. Not necessarily sex either - usually she just wants to be cuddled and coddled over for a night, y'know how it is ☹️..... Let me tell you what tho her aftercare game is unbeatable LOLLLLLLLL.

- she was a very clingy and emotionally demanding child. ( example; Claire would absolutely NOT enter school without her mother, and so her mom had to sit next to her desk in school for most of her early education ). This was okay for a little while, but when Colin was born, their parents got a divorce, and their already mentally ill mother could not really cope with two children.

- Since Claire was the oldest ( still very very little, like 7 years old )- it fell on her to help her mother, while Colin would bounce between their father and mother. Claire has never had a relationship with Colin, but she secretly blames and resents him for their parents divorce, and their mothers declining mental health. While ofc Colin resents her for basically gatekeeping his own mom LOL.

- Her relationship with her mother is surface level and distant. No matter how hard she may want to- she just can't connect to her mother. Claire is too emotionally taxing and her mother is pretty much unwilling to deal with it at this point. Claire reminds her of the lowest times in her life, and she sees Claire's attachment to her as a failure in how she raised her. She thinks Claire needs to grow out of it by herself. I think her mother does feel guilty about how Claire's childhood turned out- and so she really does think trying to let Claire find her own way is what's best for her.

- oh and also Claire is pretty much the reason Colin received so little attention from her as a child LOL- she would get HIDEOUSLY jealous of baby Colin taking attention from her mother and throw really intense fits about it 👤 I'm thinking she even went as far as trying to hurt Colin in some way. Sorry Colin, no healthy relationship with mom for you. your sister is too emotionally demanding.

- I think she's doing okay now. She's a little unhinged but I'm thinking she has a steady job and nice girlfriend now. I kinda want her to be happy y'know. 🕊️

- unrelated but Claire has not seen Colin since they were young teenagers so she has no idea about his dyed hair or fashion sense. I don't think she'd be able to recognize him to be honest LOL.

[deathberi]

I don't enough people talking about the Sleeping Forest scene?! bcs the way Cloud says "Come back!" and then drop to the floor while saying Aerith's name STILL HAS ME CRYING TBH 😭🫶💕 so maybe a gif someday if you have the time 👀 YOUR GIFS ARE KEEPING ME ALIVE SO TYYY

for reaaal!!!! i play in japanese and there he says “wait for me” and im like djhfkdkshsiwannaripmyhairout the voice acting and everything is chefs kiss 🤌🏻 and they had the gall to make him crawl as if the entire scene wasnt so emotionally taxing already TTwTT and the number of times he kept on calling her name??? the way it got more desperate one after the other ughhh

aww omg thank you im glad to hear that!! i will really just never ever get over all the clerith food rebirth has given us sooo i totally enjoy editing all of these sets im posting~ took me a while to decide how i’ll format the sleeping forest set so it kinda took forever since i started uploading post-release but here it is finally~! also have this short one posted pre-release from the trailers, for close ups ^^

[plusultraetc]

What’s the old WIP you found?? If you feel like sharing, of course 😊

omg I do feel like sharing :D

The fic was called 'follow your dreams down,' and yes that's a Springsteen lyric, and yes it's "No Surrender," which means that erasermic was somehow involved 😭 It was kind of intended to be an exploration of how Aizawa, Mic, and even Midnight processed Shirakumo's death while they were at UA (which is to say: Very Differently), but oh my gosh what little I wrote is just. Really Sad. Like, here's a snippet but it's a bummer, and even though the fic had a happy-ish ending, obv there's no real 'happy ending' for a story like that.

(I have a habit of accidentally abandoning wips that get too heavy just because I always end up choosing to work on more lighthearted stories instead (for example, the semi-anonymous Star Wars au has a sequel, but it's unfinished because it was Sad. For some reason Present Mic can never have a good time in my sci fi aus??) In this case, I think another UA-era fic took over for 'follow your dreams down' because it's way happier and therefore less emotionally taxing to work on lol. Shirakumo gets me every single time. I cried about him like two days ago because I was flipping through Vigilantes to check a tiny detail. EVERY TIME.)

[elysian-drops]

Hello author friend. Just thinking of you and hoping you are doing well.

Hello!

First off, thank you so much for checking in. It's really sweet of you 🥺I hope you're doing okay as well and are taking care of yourself 💕 And to everyone else who has popped up in my inbox asking how I've been— seriously, thank you! I thought it would be easiest to have a blanket reply to one ask, but please know I've read each one of your messages and appreciate every single one 💕💕

But to answer your question, I'm doing well! Life has just been hectic since my last update. As you may know, I've been dealing with some health issues that have resulted in a few unforeseen consequences (like pushing back my graduation date). Unfortunately, I had to extend my last semester (so fun) and that ended up sapping most of my free time and desire to write 😭😅 Thankfully though, that's all done! I'm officially graduated as of this May (woo!).

Also, I know there's been some concerns regarding the status of Appetence. Please know I haven't forgotten about it! I've working on the next chapter slowly (I admit, it's been pretty emotionally taxing) and, although I don't have a definitive update timeline as of yet, I'm hoping to get back to posting sometime early this summer. In the meantime, I've been considering posting some vignettes and taking requests for short scenes people want to see (i.e. any events you wished to see from another character's POV, certain V/Harri interactions, etc). I'll make a separate post about this later, but if anyone's interested, please let me know!

Anyway, sorry for the wall of text and for being MIA. I just want to say though it's really touching to see how many of you are still around and continue show interest in Appetence 🥺💕 You guys are the best, truly!

Until next time!

[reidmotif]

i know a part 2 has been heavily requested for my fic “please, please, please” but lowkey i am not feeling it 😭 SORRY!! BUT. for those who are curious here is a more play by play of what i saw happening. (nsfw warning)

reader stays true to what she says and doesn’t go back to spencer, but obviously she’s broken up with someone she loved and now is going though the motions of a breakup.

she’s spending her night alone, when she hears a knock on the door- opens it and woah! it’s spencer! and he looks ROUGH. says he came back from a case and needed a familiar face and reader reluctantly lets him in. she knows his job is emotionally taxing and feels for him (even if his job is the reason they broke up)

they talk a bit, and as they do, spencer tries to apologize to reader, but reader yet again calls him out for empty words and no real action on his part, and they devolve into a sad little fight where reader is a bit more vulnerable than before. (id probably have written this to be a “there’s nothing wrong with me but you made me feel like there was- why couldn’t you try for me even once?” type thing. like i don’t want my reader to come off as insecure but it’s obvious this relationship w spencer fucked her up a little and toed her own personal boundaries for what she’s willing to take from someone. if that makes sense)

spencer ends up apologizing for more specificities and reassures reader and before you know it, he’s kissing her, incredibly sweetly. there’s some internal debate from reader before she says fuck it, and they have post break up sex. very much written to be sweet and loving. missionary and spencer is praising her and saying that he loves her the WHOLE time. (reader, noticeably, would not say anything back.)

after, spencer would look at her and ask her if he could stay, and reader allows it, but she’d slip away once he falls asleep to contemplate what just happened. id want to somehow wanted to weave in one of my favorite quotes into readers internal monologue

“when two people love each other and can’t make it work? that’s the real tragedy.”

plan was to make the ending super ambiguous. you didn’t know if reader was going to try at it again with spencer, or was going to stay broken up with him. fic would end with her going to bed with him and resolving to deal with it in the morning. the end.

[silvercap]

45 and 74 for the fic writer ask! <3

45. Do you want to break your reader's heart or make them laugh?

I mean. Preferably laugh, because I'm in it for the whump and I hope everyone gets the same enjoyment out of it that I do!! I write angst and devastating situations very gleefully and I don't really mean for them to be emotionally taxing. Unless, of course, I do ;)

I think maybe a solid mix of both is what I'm going for. What's laughter without a little bit of heartbreak after all, right? Life hurts. It's cathartic!

74. You've posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to tell it was you who wrote it?

Hmm, that's a good question! Probably, it would involve some semblance of hurt/comfort or whump, and I tend to make characters very physically affectionate/touchy with one another? High chance of medical stuff or adjacent situations. Someone might pass out? I use a lot of the same syntax and phrasing in different fics, so my cadence or just certain specific words/descriptors would probably show up in there too 😭 if I ever post the fics I've joked about putting under a different/anon account, you'll have to let me know if you can find them!

[dovetart]

So, I might’ve been fired from my job because of my disability but I’m not quite sure because they’re not communicating with me.

So, long story short (not really, I accidentally wrote a lot here lmao), I got a survival job at a grocery store pushing carts. At the time I wasn’t really fully aware of just how physically disabled I was. I knew I had chronic pain and fatigue but for some reason I thought taking such a physically taxing job would be ok? Idk maybe I was thinking more of my mental disabilities, thinking it could lessen the barriers that I have with those disabilities (which it didn’t lol my mental health is always bad but it definitely got worse in a few ways while working that job). Or maybe I was just reinforcing that toxic mindset that’s been hammered into me my whole life to just ignore my pain and push through it. Like, I needed that job to be able to get off the street and get an apartment and I was so desperate I decided to ignore the fact that it would be bad for my mental and physical health.

But after working this job I finally cannot deny it anymore. I’m disabled. Which, looking back on my whole life, it should’ve been obvious because I was always struggling with pain and fatigue. I’ve never been able to have a job for a long time. I can’t stand for longer than 4 hours, even then I’m still in a lot of pain. And I don’t have a car so I still have to muster up the strength to walk back home and then pass out on my bed for the rest of the day. The only way that I have survived this far is by taking copious amounts of pain killers so then the pain in more of a dull ache that I can ignore better.

And after a really bad day of work; a coworker yelled at me because I was resting before clocking out so I could have strength to walk home after a 5 hour shift, I cried… of course… and since I was already struggling emotionally that day I went home and had a psychotic meltdown where I almost ended myself. And after that I was talking to my therapist and she agreed that I shouldn’t be working. That I should take some time off. That my life and health was more important than this job. And, me, who is already someone who doesn’t like corporate companies and (thanks of years of therapy) now knows my worth, of course agreed with that and talked with my career counselor to work things out with my job so I could take the week off. I specifically told her that I needed a week off and then after that I was planning on talking to management to try to get accommodations and then work on getting onto disability while still working so I can still have an apartment. Then after I get on disability then THATS when I would quit, y’know?

But, evidently my career counselor told them “I don’t know how long they’ll be out for” even tho I clearly told her a WEEK. And, after just a couple days, I was talking on the phone with my doctor, trying to get a permission slip to take the week off (which, unrelated, why does it take so long to get something like that when I’m in a crisis and needed it right there and then 😭) when my work called me. And since I had used up all my energy that day talking to both my therapist and doctor over the phone, I didn’t call them back.

But… erm… I wasn’t scheduled this week. And I was like “ok, maybe they got my doctors note and that’s why got off this week also.” But I haven’t been scheduled for next week either… and I usually get my schedule for the next week by now. And I’m starting to think that phone call I missed BECAUSE I WAS TALKING TO MY DOCTOR was them calling because I missed my shift that day and it might’ve been them telling me I was fired because I missed it.

And it’s starting to make me nervous because I legitimately do need money. And I’m starting to get scared that I will be homeless again. I have no where to go if something like this is happening. And I think it’d be hard to get another job especially since I now know that I legitimately can’t work because of my disabilities.

And my new social worker… omg it’s so unprofessional… I was supposed to start meeting them back in July, but I haven’t heard ANYTHING from them and it’s September now. My therapist even tried to get in contact with them, said they would contact me, but they STILL HAVEN’T!!! And it would be really nice if I could get a social worker because that would help me out a lot. Like I definitely can’t fight to get onto disability all on my own, I can barely make phone calls!

And I’m not going to lie, I don’t think my career counselor or doctor realize how bad I’m doing right now. My therapist does and it feels like she’s the one always trying to get in contact with those other "professionals" to tell them to do their jobs because what I'm going through is legitimately effecting me horribly. But, I'm too good at pretending I'm doing fine when in reality I feel like I'm dying. I think that's why I was denied disability last time, because I masked too well during my evaluation smh Feel's like no one will take me seriously when I tell them how much I struggle.

Worst part is, is that I don’t even know what physically disability I have because I’ve been undiagnosed my whole life with like everything that I have because my parents refused to take me to the doctor as much as possible and never ever let me get a therapist until I was forced to because I ran away, tried to end myself and then was sent to the hospital by the police. What sucks is that all the experiences I have had with doctors and medical environments have all been quite traumatizing and filled with medical malpractice and gaslighting, so I’m not even sure my doctor will believe me. And idk if I would even trust her. No I don’t. I don’t trust most medical professionals. In fact I have had blood tests taken with this doctor already and my results all “came back normal” so “there’s nothing wrong with me,” right? (There is definitely something going on with my body here…)

And, I’m still not sure if I’m fired or not because they don’t communicate with me. Like, no offense, but l feel like they should put more effort than just one phone call that’s easy to miss, no voicemail or anything, to tell me that I’m fired. But what else am I supposed to assume when they’ve gone radio silent on me? I’m going to wait for the end of the week to see if I do eventually get a schedule… but after that I’m for sure contacting my career counselor to figure things out and start working on getting a new job.

I’m just mad that I possibly lost a job because of something I can’t control. But a part of me isn’t that mad because that job was taking SO much from me.

Idk but I’m just going through a real shit time right now. I mean, when am I not, right lol I’ve been struggling with this my whole life, and I’m tired of fighting. Part of me thinks I would be better off dead than having to continue to try to prove to others that I’m “disabled enough” to get accommodations. I really don’t want to be homeless again. Trying hard to survive today and focus on one day at a time.

Sorry, I don’t usually make posts like this. I just needed to get this off my chest somewhere. Thanks if you read all the way through.

[crumb]

As someone who grew up like Fiona, taking care of several siblings with shitty parents, I had to stop watching Shameless halfway through 😭

That’s totally understandable! I grew up in a dysfunctional family too and my dad’s an alcoholic so i get it. The later seasons with Lip getting sober were really difficult for me to get through 💀 The Fiona centric episodes were roughhh. Not as in bad, but just emotionally taxing. Especially if you have parallels in your own life. Stepping away and not continuing to watch the show is completely fair, shit is a lot to handle. 🫂

[tddyhyck]

hey blue 🥺❤️ i’ll send my scheduled rambling sometime later because i’ve had two (2) emotionally taxing days (dream made it better because i watched the vid u talked about and some others <3), but i was wondering if i could have u pick a random number for me from 1 to 60? and also from 21 to 27 if that’s okay? also!! just wanted to let u know that i read ur new hyuck fic right after waking up yesterday morning and it was positively adorable (in the sexiest way) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 it was beautiful thank u for sharing that with us 💞💞 ~🪄

hiii magic!! i’m so sorry you’ve been having a time 😭😭 i hope u can get some rest take all the time you need 🫶🏻🫶🏻

random number 30 & 24 lol

eeek i am so glad you enjoyed it 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 thank you for reading 🤭🤭