#also Sunday guy was the one that ended things when I confronted him about labels 😭😭

[forbidden-interlude]

Anyways I’m very conflicted because I went out on a date Saturday and that went as well as first dates can go but then I went out on Sunday with someone I dated previously and they gave a whole speech about wanting me back and idk I was like sure but now the Saturday guy is wanting to pursue things (idk why I thought that would just fade out)

And now I don’t know what to do because I’m actually worse with options and it’s why any type of roster dating makes me go insane

[dilliebar]

Scraps: A Dillie Fic

Hey guys! I’m happy to announce that I’ve finally posted the first chapter of Scraps (aka “The Farm Fic”). This one will be multi-chapter, and I’m looking at 5-10k words per ch so hopefully that’ll be worth the wait. Anyway, here you are, hope you enjoy!

Months after Joel's death, and a couple months after the confrontation in Seattle, Ellie and Dina find themselves moving out of Jackson and to the farm: a place where they hope to start their new life and family. But even though their lives were spared, not all is well. Ellie still struggles with her inner-demons and the pressures of the ghosts that haunt her, and with how her mind wanders, she's not sure how long the peace will last.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25317292/chapters/61382233

Sunday, May 9th, 2038

The dark, dingey atmosphere and cold air biting at Ellie's nose told her exactly where she was. She'd lived it only once, but had seen it a million times before in her darkest memories and worst nightmares. But this was no dream; she was convinced by every small detail of the rustic mansion- every frosted pattern on iced glass, every crack in the layer of paint, and every anguished cry from the bottom of the staircase- that this was real. He was down there, in the basement. Joel was down there, and she had to save him.

She ran down the stairs as fast as her feet could carry her. Each step seemingly took years to pass, the fear and sheer panic coursing through her veins and making her skin hurt. After what felt like a painful forever she reached the basement door, throat dry and lungs gasping for air. She wrapped her fingers around the cold door handle and turned it with her very last ounce of energy, only to be denied by the lock. She tried again and again and again, each time making the panic set deeper and deeper into her bones.

"Ellie!"

Joel's strained voice called from the other side. Dammit, she was trying. She was trying like her life depended on it, but the door wouldn't budge. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as another tormented cry of her name filled the silence between her sobs.

Suddenly the door gave way after what felt like the thousandth turn, her heart dropping at the sight in front of her. The room was empty except for Joel's still, bloodied and beaten body lying motionless on the hardwood floor. The smell of iron filled her lungs that were previously desperate for air, only to find herself begging for them to empty again. She watched as his lips parted slowly to mutter their final words.

"Ellie!"

All she felt now was a pair of hands gripping her shoulders. All she saw was red. All that her rapid heartbeat pumped through her veins was adrenaline and agony and rage. The voice that called her name didn't register. She pushed away in desperation. She had to get to Joel. Maybe she could still save him.

"Get the fuck off me!"

But her captor wouldn't budge. With sheer distress she pulled their hands off of her shoulders and went to push them away, only to be quickly met with two soft, familiar hands cupping the sides of her face.

"Ellie," the voice said, softer and calmer. It was familiar, too, yet she couldn't quite place the sweet sound. She grabbed their wrists tightly in an attempt to pull them off of her as the red began to fade from her vision, but stopped as she processed the girl sitting in front of her.

She was met with two big, concerned, dark-brown eyes; the pair that she always associated with not hate nor violence, but both gentleness and a tender touch; the warm-toned skin that felt soft underneath her fingertips; the near-black hair that smelled of life and lavender. Dina. Her presence alone made Ellie’s heart rate slow.

Confused at the sudden change of scenery, she took a look around the room. The walls were a faded eggshell white, with one window directly facing the bed, allowing the moonlight to cast a pale glow on the scene. Cardboard boxes- most sealed and unopened- were labeled and organized in stacks on the wood floor; linen; Ellie; Dina; decor and some unmarked. She looked back into the shorter girl’s eyes.

“We’re home, El,” she whispered softly, “do you remember?”

Gentle thumbs brushed the skin of Ellie’s face as her heart and breathing slowed. She didn’t quite recognize the room. Not as her room in Jackson, anyway. She looked to the window, and to her surprise, didn’t find the suburban-like view of the town outside. Instead she saw a field of long golden grass, the tops of great pines, an old, rusted fence…

“The farm,” Dina confirmed, “we moved a couple weeks ago.”

Ellie’s memory came flooding back at her girlfriend’s words.

The couple had been mulling over living in town since they left seattle. They knew they’d want to stay near family, or more so Jesse’s parents considering the baby, but how could they live in Jackson after all that had happened? How could they walk past Joel or Jesse’s old houses without feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt? How could they rebuild their life there at all? They needed peace. They needed a home. They needed a new beginning.

Of course, Jesse’s parents were completely against the idea of moving away from Jackson. They had a right to be concerned, but after all, the farm was only about ten minutes or so outside of town, close enough that if there was ever an emergency they could get help as needed. Ellie had her own concerns, too, like how they would deliver the baby with only a blanket and her 7th grade health class military prep, but Dina assured her it would be fine, and Ellie believed her. As long as she was with Dina she knew everything would be alright. 

And life back in Jackson county so far had, in fact, been alright. But what wouldn’t stop picking away at Ellier were these constant nightmares. Each one made her feel as if she were living it again. As if the blood splatters across frosted glass weren’t illustrated by the depths of her mind. As if she wouldn’t wake up again, that she would die in that basement and never see Dina or Tommy or Maria again. This was the fourth one she’d had since they arrived in Jackson. Ellie thought the move would help, that the absence of reminders of Joel would help ease her anxiety, but alas, she had woken Dina up in the middle of the night for the fourth time.

Ellie let go of Dina's small wrists and leaned into the tender touch of her girlfriend; she was the only thing in the world that seemed soft anymore. The only thing that seemed solid. Her body sighed as Dina lifted her thumb to wipe away a tear that Ellie didn't even realize had welled.

"Did you have another one?"

Ellie hated when Dina had to see her this way. She hated being vulnerable. She hated how she kept interrupting Dina's well-deserved and needed rest. The mental toll her own mind was taking on her was overwhelming, but she wouldn't allow it to affect Dina if it was the last thing she did. After all the unnecessary hell she went through just to be there for Ellie, she was convinced that she shouldn't have to deal with this, too.

She nodded, "I'm okay."

Dina looked unconvinced.

"Ellie, your hands are shaking."

She shook her head and clenched her fists into the sheets.

"I said I'm fine."

Ellie kept her gaze down but she could feel her girlfriend’s eyes on her, examining. She prayed that Dina would just let it go, that she would go back to sleep and forget that this ever happened.

The smaller girl's hand found its way under Ellie's chin, tilting her head up to look into those beautiful emerald eyes.

"I'm here for you, El."

Dina closed her eyes and leaned in to place a tender kiss on auburn hair before moving back to the right side of the bed and tucking herself back under the covers.

Ellie hesitated for a moment, watching the girl settle back into the clean white sheets. She studied how they fit around the curves of her body, and how each strand of dark hair contrasted against the pillows. Sometimes, or more like all the time, Ellie wondered how someone like herself could end up with such a beautiful soul. She'd killed how many men? Taken how many lives? She had almost stopped at nothing to bring down one measly person, and despite the fact that the bitch still made her blood boil, the innocent part of Ellie couldn't find herself wanting anything more than this girl lying next to her. Not even vengeance. 

But the hardened part of herself wouldn't leave her alone. It didn't just want blood, it wanted to be the one to spill it.

Ellie took a deep breath and turned over on her side, reaching an arm around the smaller girl's waist and pulling her in to fit their bodies together. She brought her pointer finger up to her girlfriend's arm, gently tracing patterns on soft skin until she slowly felt the bad thoughts melt away one by one. She did her best not to bother the sleeping girl, and continued on to draw her finger on her neck, and then down to her shoulder, until she saw it.

The scar.

It was about two inches long, and ran along the back of Dina’s right shoulder. It had healed for the most part, but the line was still red and angry.

“Almost done.”

Ellie noticed Dina wince as the needle pierced her skin again. She was trying her best to stitch up the arrow wound as steady as possible, but with one broken arm, it was proving to be a difficult task whenever the smaller girl would flinch and she wasn’t able to hold her still. 

“How’s Tommy doing?”

Ellie looked behind her to where Tommy was resting on his backpack and one of the old leather sofas.

“Should be alright, the bullet didn’t go too deep.”

As much as it brought back bad memories, with everyone’s current condition there was no way they’d be able to leave the theater and make it back to Jackson alive. It was already going to be difficult enough with Dina being pregnant and all, but on top of that, she had also lost a lot of blood and probably had at least a minor concussion. Tommy’s right eye was shot to fuck, and he’d barely been able to walk ever since the confrontation. If that weren’t bad enough, Ellie had this broken arm to show for it, too. She wondered how they would even get back at all with the little medical supplies they had.

 Ellie leaned forward and bit off the excess string.

“All done.”

Dina sighed and relaxed her shoulders.

“Thanks babe.”

The pair had tried to pack light, so extra clothes weren’t really a priority when they left Jackson, but they were able to scrounge up some ones without blood on them from around the place. Most of the clothes- or costumes- were fancy dresses or black-tie attire, but the last guy who set up camp there left quite a bit of things behind, too. Ellie grabbed a black tee for herself and a blue hoodie for Dina, which she helped to slip over her arms amidst pained groans.

The memory of the night before still haunted her. It used to be Joel’s face that lurked in her mind, but now it was Dina’s. The arrow through her shoulder. The sound as her head banged against the floor. The knife held to her throat by a muscular arm. It only made her more hungry for blood, but she also knew that she had a responsibility to Dina, Tommy, and Jesse that she had to fulfill. 

“Ellie?”

She sighed and packed the rest of the medical supplies away as the tender voice broke through her tortured thoughts.

“Hm?”

Ellie’s muscles relaxed as Dina stood and wrapped her arms around the taller girl’s waist from behind, leaning in and resting her head in the crook of her neck. She was grateful; god, she was so grateful. But something still didn’t sit right for Ellie. They had come all this way, gone through so much hurt and for what? For the father of Dina’s unborn child to die? For Tommy to be permanently injured? Sure, they had killed some of the people associated with Joel’s death, but not the one to give the final blow. It was like starving, finally finding a meal but settling for a side. Unsatisfying and disappointing.

“I can’t go back there.”

The shaky words tugged at Ellie’s chest. They had so many great memories in Jackson. It was where they first met. Where Ellie first played a video game. Where she first watched a movie. Where she got her first tattoo. Where they first laughed and hung out together, and where they’d first kissed. They’d had a semi-normal life; one like Joel had described. One where people roamed the streets, no one was struggling to survive, and there was a sense of both community and safety. Jackson was their home, but it had also been Jesse’s, and Joel’s, and they both knew that they wouldn’t be able to escape the guilt as they saw their ghosts mingling at the bar or dancing and laughing under string lights at the winter dance. It was too much; at least for now.

Ellie turned around and pulled Dina into a loving embrace. 

“I know.”

Crisp air whispered through the towering firs, grass rustling underneath Ellie’s feet as she whisked herself into the woods. She left while Dina was still sleeping, hoping they wouldn’t have to talk about last night like she knew her girlfriend desperately wanted to. She felt bad, knowing that all Dina wanted to do was help, but they were both grieving in different ways, and right now Ellie didn’t know if she could bring herself to even think about the subject more than her mind forced her to. So she left a note, so hopefully Dina wouldn’t worry, and assured her that she’d be back for dinner, hopefully with something other than canned tomato soup to eat.

Ellie held the notch of the arrow up to the string, making sure to keep it ready in case any critters decided to show themselves. Fall was beginning to fade into winter; the air was starting to turn chilly and frost made an appearance on the grass in the early morning before melting away under the semi-warm, overcast sun. Even as the cold air bit at her nose, Ellie found herself at peace deep in the tall trees. Maybe it was the quietness of it all; how calm everything seemed to be, with nothing but the chirping of the warblers and the sway of branches filling the autumn air; maybe the openness, how any and all structure was overtaken by the brush and roots of the forest; but most of all it was the familiarity. Though her and Joel had spent so many days and nights meandering their way in and out of cities and small towns, most of their travel was spent in the wilderness, which was something she'd always admired and appreciated ever since she left the QZ. 

She solemnly dug through the memories of setting up camp after a long day of hiking, where she would gather the wood for a campfire while Joel scouted the area and set up traps. She remembered vividly each tiny detail and sidetrack he fit into his stories of his life back in Boston, and sometimes, but rarely, of his travels and life before the outbreak. She remembered back then how she had so many questions. It pained her to think that over the past few years she had distanced herself too much to ask more. Now his answers and stories were all she wanted, but instead she was left with nothing but a flat grave and her own imagination.

A rustling from the brush beside her caught her ear and pulled her from her thoughts.

Ellie crouched down in the grass to make herself less visible and nocked the arrow, keeping a keen eye in the direction of the noise. She watched for any and all movement, a tactic that had grown to be second nature to her over the years. She waited patiently until she saw it: a small rabbit peeking out from above the grass. She raised the bow and pulled back on the string, holding her breath to take aim. For a split second before she released the arrow the little creature turned its head in her direction, its black eyes meeting hers. She felt a tinge of mercy in her chest before hands began to shake and she released the arrow, missing the animal and sending it running by mere inches. She cursed under her breath before standing to retrieve her arrow and continued into the quiet depths of the woods.

“We got everything?”

Dina helped Ellie slip her backpack over her shoulders before turning to give Tommy a small nod in response. It had been a couple weeks since the confrontation with Abby. Everyone was still in a world of hurt, but the tension between the scars and the WLF was growing day by day, and supplies were becoming more and more scarce. It was only a matter of time before they were blocked off from leaving Seattle completely, and without any means of travel other than their own two feet, making it back to Jackson in one piece would be much, much harder; they had to move, now.

“Should be it, unless we want to bring sparky from the roof along with us.”

Despite the tension in the air Ellie released a small puff of laughter, earning both of them a glare from Tommy’s one good eye. Ellie knew he didn’t want to leave Seattle. She didn’t want to, either. But he couldn’t fight, she couldn’t fight, and Dina’s condition was getting worse day by day. They had already lost one of them, it would be irrational to keep running after this girl and lose another, right?

The trio made their way out of the front door, making sure to keep an eye on the nearby buildings and cover. There was no telling what, or who, was lurking in the shadows anymore. Any fight at this point was a death sentence.

“Main gate’s this way,” Tommy noted, opening the map, “though we best sneak out the east jus’ like last week.”

“Still no guards?” Ellie asked.

“Not as far as I heard over that radio.”

Ellie shrugged and nodded. The main gate would be impossible to get through with all the trouble they had to go through just to get into the QZ. She began to follow Tommy before she felt a tug on her good arm.

“El’s?”

She turned around to meet a pair of sad brown eyes, brimming with tears sparkling like polished glass. As much as they wanted to leave, they also wanted to stay. Not just for the vengeance of Joel, but for Jesse now, too. Ellie wanted it. Dina wanted it. Tommy wanted it. But it wasn’t about them now. It was about their child; someone who would carry on the legacy of that brave friend and father; it was about their family. They were a family now, no matter what, and anything outside of that would have to wait.

“What’s up?”

She watched as Dina blinked tears away from her eyes.

“Can we stop for him?”

Ellie felt her heart ache at the unevenness of her voice.

“Of course.”

They had wanted to bring Jesse’s body back to Jackson, back to his parents, back to where their child would grow up. But frankly without a horse there was no way they’d be able to, not to mention the trip would take maybe a month or two. Having to see his body like that wouldn’t be good for any of them, or for him out of respect. The least they could do was give him a proper funeral somewhere nice, somewhere he could rest, where when they buried him, he would still be the man that everyone remembered so dearly.

They buried him along the same route Ellie and Dina had taken to Seattle, off the side of the main road by the overgrown bus stop where the sunlight broke through the trees and would be easy to find if and when they came back to see him again. They marked the fresh mound by lining it with rocks, and neatly folded up his bloodied jacket, slipping it into one of the clothing bags from the theater and setting it underneath one of the bigger stones at the head of his grave. It wasn’t fancy, but Dina, having a decently vast knowledge of her religion, was able to send Jesse off the best way she knew how.

They stopped at his grave again as they passed through the area to head back to Jackson, at Dina’s request.

Ellie watched as Dina leaned down and took some of the freshly-turned dirt in her hand, squeezing it gently before letting it fall through her fingers. Her breath remained shaken as she took the rock off of the garment bag, unzipping it and bringing Jesse’s coat to her chest to feel his presence one last time. Ellie listened closely as her girlfriend began to whisper a small prayer under her breath in a language she couldn’t understand.

At first when Dina had described her religion in the synagogue, Ellie found herself intrigued. She didn’t just want to know how something as simple as a string of words to someone unknowable could help, but she desperately wanted it to. She had even tried it a couple of times; she tried it on their first night in Seattle, when she found out Dina was pregnant and she said poisonous things and she prayed for everything to be okay; she tried it after she killed Nora, when she was begging for forgiveness to anyone who would hear her; she tried it after she killed Mel, a pregnant woman, which was something she could never forget or forgive herself for but maybe a higher, more perfect being could. At first it did make her feel better to know, or at least make herself think, that there was something greater than all of this bullshit out there. But then, after seeing Dina’s bloodied face and body with a knife held up to her neck, she came to the conclusion that any “perfect being” would never allow that bullshit to happen.

But she wouldn’t tell Dina that. Not when it was the only thing she clinged to for hope.

When Ellie got home it was around mid-afternoon, and she could see smoke coming from the chimney. Despite how dark her mind was, she couldn't help but feel her heart warm at the thought of having a place to come home to, a person to come home to. It was something she'd always wanted but also thought she'd never have the chance to get, especially after they left Boston. The more she thought about it as she approached the front door the more guilty she felt.

What if I was that person to him?

A chill ran down her spine and all that warmth that previously filled her heart began to fuel her guilt. For the last year that Joel had been in her life, she had barely acknowledged that he even existed. She had been his home. For the longest time, he had been hers, as much as her angry self hated to admit it back then. All of the stupid dad jokes, his fatherly, protective demeanor, their unbreakable bond; all of that was taken away within minutes, and not a year later, here she was, attempting to start over and forget that it ever happened or that he ever existed.

I don't deserve her.

When Ellie walked in she immediately noticed her girlfriend on the couch, beautiful as ever with her little baby bump and frazzled head of hair.

"Hey," she greeted with a sweet smile.

Ellie set her backpack down by the door and leaned down to place a fragile kiss atop Dina's head.

"Sorry, I was gone a bit longer than I planned."

"You're alright, I was just taking a break from dishes," Dina paused, attempting to read her girlfriend with concerned eyes as the mood shifted, "everything alright?"

Ellie knew what she was referring to. It was the reason she'd gone out in the first place. She didn't want to talk about it then and she didn't want to talk about it now.

She shrugged it off as she untied the couple squirrels she caught from her bag.

"Everything's fine, just needed something for dinner."

Even with her half-hearted response Ellie could still feel the smaller girl's eyes on her. They were pressing, piercing, and probing every emotion she had left in her. But like she said, everything was fine. She just needed more time.

"You sure?"

Ellie shook her head to herself, her walls going up as she tried to avoid the conversation yet again.

"I'm fine."

Dina shifted on the couch.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, and that's fine, but-"

"Dina."

Her tone was calm but firm; enough to tell her girlfriend to take a step back but tender enough to let her know it wasn't personal. Frankly Ellie hated telling Dina to back off, because she knew she was lucky to have any sort of support at all, but this was the one thing she felt too guilty and pained about to ever bring up to anyone when she needed care the most.

Ellie stood up, squirrels in hand. She made her way to the kitchen before turning back to the girl on the couch.

"I'm gonna go work outside,"

Dina looked up, meeting her girlfriend's eyes just briefly before nodding in response.

Work life on the farm was pretty dull, but relaxing for the couple. Ellie had settled on doing the majority of the manual labor or most work outside, really, like making sure the sheep were well-fed and that the crops were growing as they should. Dina would always do her best to help, although with how the pregnancy had been affecting her body, most days she'd end up doing some of the household chores and preparing anything that Ellie happened to bring home when she went out hunting. The rest of the day they'd spend together, whether they were cuddled up under the stars or dancing in the living room, just as they'd always wanted to be, now and forever.

Working the garden didn’t take too long since they only really grew enough to sustain themselves, and even then the plants were just little saplings considering they’d only been there for a little over a week; for now they mainly relied on non-perishables and the little fresh vegetables they’d brought from Jackson, and the food that Ellie brought home of course. It didn’t take long for her to round up the couple of lambs Maria was willing to spare, either, and by the time she was done the sun was just setting.

And so Ellie finished up, brushed off her jeans and wiped the mud off her shoes before making her way back inside the kitchen where her beautiful, exceedingly patient girlfriend had dishes in the sink and the squirrels she’d caught on the cutting board. She felt a tinge of pain in her heart as she thought of how she’d snapped earlier. Ellie didn’t want to push her away. She knew Dina didn’t want her to push her away. They needed each other more than anything, but Ellie could barely think of Joel without breaking down, let alone talk about him.

And yet, despite everything, Dina stayed by her side.

Ellie felt her body warm as those brown irises met her own, bright and sparkling as ever. There was something different about them; something different than before that day in Seattle. It was the absence of the carefree, fun, glowing light behind her eyes. The one that put everyone at ease, yet so on-edge at the same time. Instead of being sharp and direct and sarcastic, it was soft, and concerned, and forgiving. 

She walked up behind the smaller girl and wrapped those strong arms around her waist, pulling her in and planting a kiss on that soft neck of hers.

“I love you,” Ellie said, just above a whisper.

Dina closed her eyes and leaned back into her girlfriend’s touch, allowing herself to revel in the rare softness of the hardened girl. Before Abby, Ellie had always been shy but always so warm. And in all fairness, she still was, but the grief and trauma over the past couple months had overcome her like a thick ice. No matter how much Dina tried to dig at her, she wasn’t revealing any of the water below, and it was both frustrating and disheartening to see her not just ice out the people of Jackson, but herself as well. They had always been close, ever since the day Ellie arrived in Jackson. But now Dina felt like they were a million miles apart, and she had no idea what to do about it.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” she said calmly, “but don’t leave without telling me like that.”

She felt the taller girl release a sigh against her shoulder, contemplating for a moment before speaking.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

Dina turned around in Ellie’s arms and moved her hands up to cup her girlfriend’s face with a tender touch. She studied those deep-green emerald eyes, searching for any sign of the emotional openness Dina had been looking for since they’d left Seattle. Something was there. It was an understanding; a glimmer of hope in that mossy ring; something that told her that the innocence and goodness Ellie once had was still in there somewhere, hiding underneath, but still very much there.

She leaned up on her tip-toes to plant a brief kiss on her girlfriend’s soft lips before pulling back.

“Tommy and Maria mentioned they wanted to come over for dinner,” Dina switched the topic, “kind of like a house-warming thing.”

Ellie groaned.

“Doesn’t the fireplace warm it enough?”

The shorter girl playfully rolled her eyes and pushed her girlfriend away from her. “Go wash up, you look like Todd out there.”

Ellie scoffed as she turned to head out of the kitchen.

“Alright, but you didn’t just kiss Todd so I’d like to think I’ve got something on him.”

“You wish.”

It took them nearly twice as long to get back to Jackson as it took them to get to Seattle. Ellie was fairly mobile and her arm was healing nicely, but breaks had to be much more frequent for the sake of Tommy and Dina. She couldn’t count the number of times she’d stayed up with the pregnant girl, comforting her in any way she could and helping her to keep water and food down. Tommy’s gunshot wound appeared to be healing just fine, but his leg still wasn’t managing to function as well as it used to. As much as she hated to think it, it was very well possible that the damage was permanent, but all that mattered was getting back to Jackson in one piece.

It was the fourth week, second afternoon of their trip when they finally saw the lights of Jackson appear over the grassy Wyoming hills.

Almost in-sync, the trio stopped side-by-side, looking down on the settlement which used to be their safe-haven; their serenity; their home. For Ellie, it was a curse in disguise. A seemingly perfect community where all of the troubles of the outside world would melt away suddenly became a barren wasteland that led her family- her father- to his demise. For Dina, it was the place that had raised her since the age of twelve. She had seen the horrors of the outside world, but now she had seen the pure darkness behind it. Now all she saw were four walls filled with distractions; things to keep everyone’s minds off the fact that there were people out there suffering while they wasted away in front of their televisions and danced along to music of the old days. All Tommy saw were his broken hopes and dreams. Jackson was supposed to be a second-chance; a place for people to redeem themselves and finally live a rare, peaceful life. Now he realized that the only place for redemption was outside the wall, where vengeance could be taken and revenge could be had.

Ellie felt a soft hand grip her calloused one, and she turned her head to see a teary-eyed Dina.

“I’m not ready.”

The taller girl felt her heart ache at the three words. She squeezed the small hand reassuringly.

“Me neither.”

The three of them made their way down the hill, past the old gas station, through the brush and through the golden grass. They took note of the fresh horse tracks, signaling the first friendly presence they’d seen in months. Ellie continued to squeeze Dina’s hand as they made their way past the last line of trees, and took a deep breath as the main gate came into view.

“Open the gates! They’re back!”

As they approached the wall Ellie kept her eyes down, not out of sadness but out of shame. How could she look Jesse’s parents in the eyes and tell them he was gone? All because she decided to leave; all because they hadn’t been more careful; all because Ellie couldn’t help but make one last swing at the woman who killed her father.

She had no clue, but she would have to do it sooner or later, for Dina’s sake.

The gates opened, and Dina was the first to be bombarded by warm embraces from Jesse’s mother and father. Tears rolled down red cheeks and sobs were heard among them, but all Ellie heard was a muffled ringing in her ears. She could feel their sad, grieving eyes on the side of her face, begging for an answer that told them their son wasn’t gone. Something that could give them hope. But she couldn’t. All she could muster was a pained “I’m sorry” as his mother’s cries grew louder.

The next to appear by the gate was Maria, but unlike Jesse’s parents, stayed there, waiting for Tommy to approach her. Ellie looked to him, seeing the pain ridden on his face as he went to take his first limping step forward, but she stopped him.

“Tommy,”

Ellie shook her head as he looked up to her. She thought for a moment, pondering what she would even say to him. They had left for one purpose and one purpose only: to seek vengeance, and not only had they not accomplished that, but they had even more of a reason to seek revenge now more than ever. 

Slowly she brought her eyes up to meet him.

“I’ll make her pay.”

“So how’s it been out here?” Maria asked, “Farm life been treating you two nice?”

Dina smiled as she set the portions down on the table in front of them, taking her seat down next to Ellie.

She poked at her food as Dina and Maria went back and forth about the ins-and-outs of their life so far on the farm. In all honesty there wasn’t really much to talk about. Since Jackson sent out patrols every so often there wasn’t really any issue with infected around the area, and even if there was a straggler or two they weren’t two difficult to get rid of silently.

And then they went on about Jackson, how everyone was doing, how Jesse’s parents were. And of course the conversation shifted to the inevitable topic of Dina’s pregnancy. Since they had gotten back to Jackson she had been doing much better, especially now that they had access to medicine and heat and decent amounts of food. But the further along she got the more Ellie realized that there was one thing she wouldn’t be able to do.

Ellie couldn’t help but notice how quiet Tommy was as he sat across from her, barely even sneezing at the plate of food in front of him as the tension in the air grew more and more thick. She knew he was antsy to get back out there; to go find Abby yet again, and she was, too. But she had a family now. She had a responsibility to Dina and to Jesse. She couldn’t just up-and-leave. But no matter what, she would never place the blame for that on Dina. And she’d make sure Tommy didn’t put that pressure on her, either. Certainly not in their home.

“We’ve been talking about names,” Ellie finally interjected, “any suggestions?”

Maria pondered for a moment.

“Well I’ve got a few, but just in case, I think I might save those for myself.”

Ellie waited and gave Tommy one last chance to not be a dick before deciding to include him in the conversation whether he wanted to or not.

“Tommy? Any suggestions?��

She watched as he visibly scoffed before crossing his arms over his chest and looking up to meet Ellie’s eyes. There was a tangible frustration in his eyes; like he knew that this quest for revenge was coming to an end. She held his stare, silently daring him to make a snide comment towards Dina.

“So you’re keepin’ it, huh?”

The blood boiled in Ellie’s veins as she pushed her plate aside and leaned forward on her elbows.

“Yes. Is that a problem for you?”

Dina leaned forward to place a calming hand on Ellie’s shoulder, lightly attempting to pull her back and de-escalate the situation. But as far as Ellie was concerned, no one was going to come into their house and talk to the mother of her child like that. 

Tommy stood from his chair, loudly scooting it back and practically throwing his fork down on the table.

“You want some names? I got plenty for ya.”

Ellie stood up to meet his eyes along with Maria, who already had two hands on him and was gently pushing him towards the door. He turned to her and brushed her hands away, then heading out the front door.

“I’m already goin’.”

At first the three of them stood in shock, appalled by the suggestion that he’d just made. This was their child. It was Jesse’s child at that. Even if Jesse were alive, it was completely Dina’s choice as to what she wanted to do, and she wanted to keep it. And if that’s what she wanted to do, Ellie would be there for her every step of the way, and would support the hell out of that kid as if they were her own, because they were a family now.

Before she knew it, Ellie felt her feet carrying her outside while Dina called out for her to stop, but she couldn’t feel or hear anything over the rage and blood coursing through her veins. 

“You fucking asshole.”

Tommy turned from the knot in his horse’s lead to respond.

“Right, I’m the asshole,” he shook his head, “I’m the asshole for keepin’ my goddamn word? Is that it?”

Ellie shoved her hands against his chest, full-force.

“Don’t you fucking dare-”

“I’m not the one out here tryna forget the man who raised me ever walked this goddamn earth.”

The mention of Joel shook her, and she took a step back.

“But what’d I expect?” he scoffed and deepened his tone, “He raised one selfish child.”

And then she saw his face; the last time she’d ever seen him.

Without thinking Ellie cocked her fist, fully intending to deliver a well-deserved punch to the good side of his head before she felt two soft hands pulling back on her shoulders. She kept her eyes locked on the asshole in front of her even as her girlfriend came into view and held both sides of her face, trying her best to distract her.

“Ellie? Ellie.”

She watched as Maria stepped in front of Tommy, telling him quietly to back off. When he was out of view she brought her eyes back to Dina, who was looking at her with a deep sense of concern and worry. Her heart rate began to slow, but she was nowhere near calm. 

Ellie scoffed and pushed back from her girlfriend’s grip, stomping her way back inside and up the stairs until she got to their room, slamming the door behind her and sitting herself down on the white bedsheets. She leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, face in her hands as tears began to brim at the corners of her eyes.

As much as Tommy pissed her off, there was an aching in Ellie’s chest that told her he was right; that she hadn’t kept her word; that everything she did was for nothing, and to stop now would be an insult to Joel and his memory; that she didn’t deserve this seemingly perfect life with Dina and their soon-to-be child. No matter how many times Dina told her it wasn’t her fault, she still couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt.

She still saw their faces. She saw Joel’s face, battered and bloodied, as the lids of his eyes parted one last time for their eyes to meet before that bitch brought the club down. She saw Tommy’s face, unconscious and helpless as the scene played out in front of their eyes. She saw Jesse’s, one of the best friends she’d ever had, lifelessly splayed across the theater floor with a bullet wound through his cheek. And she saw Dina's face, the love of her life, seconds from death, who if she lost she would lose her mind and her life along with it.  

Ellie looked up through glossy eyes as she heard a soft creak from the bedroom door. 

“El’s?”

Ellie wiped the tears from her eyes and attempted to slow her breathing as they continued to spill. She didn’t want Dina to see her like this; so helplessly lost. But the smaller girl sat next to her anyway, rubbing a comforting hand on her back.

“He didn’t mean it,” she whispered, “it’s just a lot right now.”

Ellie shook her head and hid her face in her hands.

“He’s right.”

Dina’s heart ached as her girlfriend’s voice cracked. It pained her to see her like this, but she would always be there for her in any way that she could. Slowly Dina brought her hands to the sides of Ellie’s tear-struck face and gently turned it to look at her.

“Hey,” she said, looking deep and genuine into those emerald eyes, “You’re allowed to be happy.”

That’s when the dam broke, and every bad thought and emotion that Ellie had been withholding came flooding through the gates in the form of anguished sobs. She let Dina pull her into her chest, allowing herself the only emotional release she’d had in months.

“I miss him.”

“I know.”

She told herself she didn’t deserve this, that she didn’t deserve her girlfriend’s warmth, but she was crying so hard she didn’t think she would be able to stop even if she really wanted to. Everything that built up to this, every slit throat, every harsh word, every cruel thought didn’t release her anger or grief. It was this. The few times, this being the first, that she allowed herself to be vulnerable to the one that she loved. At the end of the day, maybe she didn’t deserve it, but Dina chose to stand by her anyway, and after everything that happened, Ellie decided that she would never aim to take advantage of that ever again.

They stayed like that for a while, Dina rocking Ellie back and forth as she let her emotions flow, as the tears soaked into the smaller girl’s shirt and her girlfriend’s body grew less and less tense until the tears stopped. Ellie gave in as Dina pulled the warm covers over them, and they held each other as they drifted off to sleep.

But before Ellie let the exhaustion overtake her, she let her mind wander. Usually it took her to the darkest of places, but now she could see something a bit brighter; a future in which things weren’t so grim after all. 

[megaboy335]

Mega’s Top 2020 Anime

The year 2020 is finally coming to an end. It’s been an unusual year to say the least. Coronavirus more or less almost cancelled the entire spring anime season, which lead to a strange anime schedule for the rest of the year since delays have trickle down effects to what was in the pipeline. To be completely honest, this was not a good year for anime. I watched only a handful of very good shows, and the rest were mediocre at best. The top 5 shows I talk about here are definitely worth watching at least.

So with the introduction out of the way, lets get into this. As usual this list is just my opinions. Don’t take it too seriously.

1) Kaguya-sama Love is War? (Season 2)

The second season of Kaguya-sama took everything from season 1 and brought it up a level. The visual gags became more impressive, the voice acting was just as good, and the show is delivering sharper writing as we get deeper into the manga. 

Season 2 added two new notable aspects to the show. First, a new member to the main cast by the name of Iino. She adds a new angle to exploit for the skits as someone who adheres strictly to the rules. This often means Iino and Kaguya frequently bump heads. In fact how they interpret a situation can be entirely different, which creates numerous misunderstandings between them. Second, Kaguya-sama began expanding the skits into long form stories. There were a series of skits that form an arc spanning an entire episode, or in some cases multiple episodes. Episode 11 was the highlight of the season where Ishigami confronted his past to overcome the bad stigma surrounding his character. Additionally, the story added depth to his connection with Shirogane while making us realize there was more to Ishigami than meets the eye. Kaguya and Shirogane also both became a little closer as the tangled web of their schemes yielded unexpected results at times.

Kaguya-Sama has an ova and season 3 planned. I eagerly look forward to seeing what new crazy situations the characters find themselves in. 

2) A Certain Scientific Railgun T (Season 3)

After waiting 6 years since the conclusion of season 2, the Railgun anime finally returned to adapt two more arcs from the manga. 

The first half was a Railgun version of the Daissheisai Festival arc. This version focuses on a completely different event in the arc with a story involving Misaki, Misaka, and Dolly. It pulls us deeper into the story threads established in the Level Upper and Sisters arc of what the scientists were doing out of the public eye. We meet the original Misaka clone and how Misaki came to meet her which adds a new layer to the current Misaka and Misaki relationship that we never knew. We see how Misaki is also a victim of the dark experiments occurring behind the scenes in Academy City. The experiment to turn Misaka into a level 6 was a very hype moment. Railgun’s Daissheisai Festival arc definiely hit all the right notes.

The second half of Railgun season 3 was the Dream Ranker arc. Like in previous seasons, I found the 2nd cour arc to be weaker than the first half. Indian Poker is a fun concept, but didn’t cleanly tie into the overall story. I also found it weird how special cards that can exchange dreams suddenly exist out of nowhere. Additionally, this arc brought it characters from the Accelerator spin-off which I wasn’t familiar with. It had a few cool and funny moments scattered throughout. The final fight at least brought the conflict to a satisfying conclusion. The only thing holding back Railgun for me like always is my lack of knowledge of the greater Raildex universe. Hopefully this won’t be the last we see of Railgun in animated form because I picked up the manga and the next arc is pretty neat.

3) The Journey of Elaina

The Journey of Elania is an anthology-centric anime where we follow Elania on her adventures. The first episode is a prologue to how she became a witch and the origins of her ambitions. Episode 2-onwards follow a fairly straightforward template of Elania arriving at a new location. She notices something isn’t quite right or learns about something from a local. As the story unfolds, Elania often takes a backseat role and opts to watch things playout. An anime of this style always brings a mixed bag to the table with the kind of stories that are told within the universe. Each episode/adventure is only loosely connected through the main character Elania traveling to a new location, but otherwise they are mostly independent besides a handful of recurring characters. 

Naturally this format means there are both great and not so good episodes. There are bitter sweet tales, comedic, and even a few darker entries mixed within this show. In particular, there were a few standout episodes that cemented this show as something worth watching. Episode 7 was a comedy episode split into two halves. One half showed how two towns divided by a wall were ironically doing the same thing to the wall on each side. The second half recalled how Elania accidentally started a grape stomping tradition in a tiny village. Then there was episode 9, the darkest entry of the show so far, when Elania went back in time to help someone save their childhood friend. However, this person came to realize she hardly knew what her childhood friend was really like. Lastly, the last episode was unexpectedly deep where Elania met various alternate versions of herself and had to confront a dark version spawn from the events in episode 8. It showed how her journey can take all sorts of directions if events had transpired even a little differently.  

A high part of the appeal to me was never knowing what kind of story we would get each week. Was it going to be light-hearted? Serious? Would it focus on Elania or not? Her adventures were certainly full of unexpected happenings. The light novels are 17 volumes in and still going. I wouldn’t mind seeing more if they ever wanted to make another season.

4) Tonikaku Kawaii

From the prolific author Kenjiro Hata comes an anime adaptation of his newest work under the “Crunchyroll Originals” label. The story is simply about a guy who is head over heels for his new wife and can’t get over how awesome it is living with her. Tonikaku Kawaii is a simple show that chooses to highlight the little moments between our main couple Nasa and Tsukasa. We go through all sorts of everyday events with them such as the act of buying a ring, a new television, bedding, and meeting each other’s family. All the characters are so earnest you can’t help but enjoy their silly banter. There is little to no drama here to drive the story forward. You just get to enjoy a newlywed couple discovering new things about each other as they go through everyday life.

However, at the end of the day Tonikaku Kawaii is far from complete and is honestly the type of show that likely wouldn’t make my list most years. It hardly scratched its overarching story during the 1 cour run. The thing that put it over the top for me was simply how likable each of its characters were. They all present their emotions like an open book and you come to enjoy the little quirks of each one. I was slightly confused at how this show became a “Crunchyroll Original” when anything by Hata would have probably gotten an anime sooner or later. There are plenty of other Weekly Shonen Sunday series that could really use an outside force to help them get animated. I can only hope it did well enough for Crunchyroll to consider investing into more from the magazine .

 5) Ahiru no Sora

As usual, my list usually contains at least 1 show that began in the previous year. Ahiru no Sora is an anime that not a lot of people watched, but became one of my favorites each week. This is a 4 cour basketball series about a main character named Sora who is too short for basketball. Despite this set-back, he has a deep passion for the game imparted from his mother and wishes to someday find the same success as she did at the sport. The story begins when he enrolls in a new school and has to build the basketball club from scratch. However, the catch is the basketball team is basically non-existent. He ends up creating a team from a group of unlikely people: the ones who were bullying him. Ahiru no Sora presents a down to earth human side to the sport. There are no fantasy or supernatural elements found in this story. It follows a group of rough around the edges guys whose lives gets back in order through playing basketball together.

All of the main characters go through a decent amount of growth as their personal stories are explored, and Sora especially is taken through a series of events that allow his character to grow more than anyone. I was pleasantly surprised at how emotional it got at times. There was some real heart put into this series. In the middle of the show it genuinely felt the team had hit rock bottom. They lost a major game, the club room was lit on fire, and Sora lost his mother all right in a row. It was the recovery from that period and how each member matured from their experiences that solidified Ahiru no Sora as one of the top shows this year. The only thing holding back the show is that it's left incomplete since the manga is on-going (and actually on hiatus at the moment). I hope there will be an opportunity down the road to have more episodes.

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Disappointments of 2020

1) Deca Dence

I enjoyed Death Parade, Mob Psycho 100, and Detective Conan: Zero the Enforcer was pretty good too. So I figured another original anime from Tachikawa Yuzuru would be something I would like, and yet Deca Dence barely resonated with me. I could never wrap my mind around the setting of the show where robots would enter an alternate world called “Deca Dence” for sport or how these robots had a human persona in the game. The humans were effectively NPCs in the game to the eyes of the robots. The show no doubt had a story it wanted to tell, and it certainly went through the plot beats it wanted to hit, yet I could never get invested in the show. I’m still looking forward to whatever Tachikawa Yuzuru does next. I’ll just consider this as something was not for me.

2) The Day I Became God

This show marks Jun Meada’s 3rd anime original project with P.A. Works. I understand that Angel Beats and Charlotte are flawed shows, but that did not stop them from being enjoyable for me. This unfortunately did not apply to The Day I Became God. At a base level it has many of the usual troupes you would expect from a Jun Meada title: the humor, baseball, an emotionally driven story. The place where this shows failed hard was having no backbone to back up the story it was trying to present. I enjoyed the comedy in the early episodes quite a bit and was somewhat intrigued by a subplot in the background that was slowly creeping up on the main plot. Ending each episode on a countdown to the end of the world helped to keep a looming sense of unease during the early part of the show.

Then in typical Jun Meada fashion, the plot of the show hit all at once. Episode 9 was the big climax where the subplot and main plot collided to send the show into its “true” storyline. The hacker kid who uncovered everything about Hina in the early part was poorly utilized and underdeveloped. So when he joins our main group in episode 10 for a short period of time, his presence makes very little sense. I can only describe that part as a 10 hour VN plot condensed into 10 minutes. The male lead Narukami has almost no personal stake in the story. Hina is hilarious in the comedy episodes, but lacks any sufficient character arc built up to carry her into the final section. Jun Meada is trying to sell this as a love story between Narukami and Hina, but I just don’t see it. Narukami spent at least half the summer trying to wow his childhood friend only to suddenly change at the last minute. It felt so haphazardly put together.

The Day I Became God is an extremely bare bones Jun Meada story. It goes through the motions of similar elements to his previous works, but comes out feeling emotionally hollow. While Angel Beats and Charlotte also felt rushed in the grand scheme, I can at least say he got the emotional aspect right. This will be remembered as one of, if not Jun Meada’s weakest title.

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Top OPs/EDs of the Year

1) Jujutsu Kaisen Opening 1 - The song is great, but it’s the visuals that really sell this opening. Each shot is brilliantly connected to showcase how everything in the world of Jujutsu Kaisen is layered. There is far more than what meets in the eye in our surroundings. Curses and humans co-mingle more than you might think.

2) A Certain Scientific Railgun T Opening 1 - There still hasn’t been a bad Railgun opening yet. Flipside once again delivers a song that once again never failed gets me in the mood for the episode each week. The visuals highlight some of the best action moments in the arc too.

3) Black Clover Opening 10 - Unlike the other songs on the list this year, this a slower somber song. It always makes me think of Nero’s backstory and how the story was leading up to the fight versus the devil. The black and white aesthetic with rain conveys how everything is laid bare for this major story climax.

4) Kaguya-Sama Love is War? Opening - Just like how this season is more character focused, the opening animation is basically a 90 second skit. It never fails to get to get me in the mindset for the hijinks that are ahead in the episode. The song itself is also a great follow up to the previous opening.

5) Rent-a-Girlfriend Opening - It’s a colorful opening that highlights the best aspects of each character. It completely conveys what the show is about with some nice music. I love how fun and upbeat this opening is. It definitely helped to set the tone for the episodes each week.

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....and so, that brings 2020 to a close. The North American anime scene is shifting once again with Sony buying out Crunchyroll. Hopefully the result of the merger keeps Crunchyroll as an entity alive. I’ll be curious to see how everything shakes out. In the coming year I am most looking forward to Chainsaw Man’s anime. The manga is quite an experience and anime viewers will be spinning their heads over learning how such a series was published in Weekly Shonen Jump. I think it has a good chance of being one of the most talked about shows in the new year.

Lets hope 2021 is a good one.

[sorcerusdragonbionics]

Reading list 6/22-6/29

So I got this from a few places, such as the FanFic Summer Reading Challenge as well as one of the profiles I’m following mentioning that they wanted to do a reading list of every fanfic they’ve read. I read A LOT, hence why wanted to do the Summer Reading Challenge, but I also wanted to share fics with people, so I’ve decided that every Sunday I’ll post the fics I’ve read in a Reading List for the week.

Fic ratings range from G to E, but all of them are labeled so if something isn’t your cup of tea, don’t read it. Since this is my first list and I want to see how it turns out I’ll keep them all together for now, but depending on how it turns out I might start dividing them up by fandom and possibly by Rating.

For Now: Tell me if this Sharable Link works for you Google Drive Folks, or Read More if you feel so inclined.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/19Py4njs7UTYOijl3TkGAB2MouJ4uiTa4e3uB6ThpMjs/edit?usp=sharing

Revenge of White Rabbit

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: TiBun, UnknownPaws

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4832390/chapters/11067851

Status: Complete

Series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/329461

Complete

Three works

Chapters: 14/14

Summary: They say that bad things happen in threes, but they never specify just how Nightmarish "bad things" can get.

Rating: E

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Major Character Death

Words: 45091

You’re All I Need

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: towokuwusatsuwu

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8565637/chapters/19636612

Status: Incomplete

 Last Updated 2016/11/17

Chapters: 2/?

Summary: In a world where you only see in shades of gray until you meet your soulmate, Barnaby has his literally fall into his arms.

Rating: M

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 2891

 Of Tigers and Bunnies Series

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: MarchWindsAprilShowers

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1332236

Status: OnGoing

Last Updated 2019/6/25

Works: 7

Home Sweet Home Summary: Barnaby wasn’t sure exactly what it was that made his partner’s home feel like...home. At least, he feels more at home there than anywhere else, including his own apartment.

The Group’s Couple Summary: Every large friend group has at least one honorary couple and this one is pretty annoying. (A short and completed drabble series of how the other heroes deal and interact with TaiBani.)

Already Perfect Summary: If there’s one thing Barnaby actively avoids in interviews, it's the subject of children in his future besides Kaede.

Fried Rice and Promise Summary: In which Barnaby decides to return the favor and kick down Kotetsu's door unannounced with some fried rice to cheer up the old man.

My Hero! Summary: Okay, alright. Social media has even pointed it out at this point. Barnaby will admit it. // He can be a little protective of Kotetsu. // Maybe even unreasonably.

For the Last Time, Go to Bed! Summary: Keith is sick with a cold and keeps bothering Ivan who is currently making him some soup.

Betrayed by the Heart Monitor Summary: Barnaby is injured on the job and is in the hospital. Kotetsu is with him and refuses to go home. It's 1AM, so that's the perfect time for confessions (obviously)!

Rating G - T

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 7424

The Prophecy

Fandom: BBC Merlin

Author: VikingSong 

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10463682/1

Status: OnGoing

Last Updated 2019/6/22

Chapters: 79/?

Summary: Uther learns Arthur is the Once-and-Future-King of prophecy and declares him a traitor, forcing him to flee with Merlin. The catch? Arthur has no idea who Emrys is and no desire to fulfill the prophecy. Reveal!fic. T for action sequences/some deaths; no slash, no smut, no language. Cover art by AlexandarCho on deviantART (used with permission).

Rating: T

Different Tagging System so not marked for whole work, but Author is vigilant to point out moments of violence that will be coming up in the chapter.

Words: 110584

The Only One

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: Rinienne

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7085107/chapters/16103044

Status: Complete

Chapters: 8/8

Summary: There was nothing funny about a NEXT ability which made some people lose their minds to lust, especially while it had such deadly consequences. Others were not affected by it the same way, but what was the difference between the two groups was a question yet unanswered.

Rating: E

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Warnings

Words: 46668

Zero to Hero

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: ryrybread

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19323073/chapters/45963673

Status: OnGoing

Last Updated 2019/6/24

Chapters: 2/?

Summary: Midoriya Izuku has had a hard time getting through life as long as he could remember. Not only was he quirkless, but he was born in the wrong body, gender-wise. // If it wasn't for his childhood friend standing up for him, he wouldn't even been here, let alone being face to face with his ultimate role model, All Might. // Follow Izuku through his high school experience, dealing with feelings, villains, and transitioning to become the boy he always was meant to me.

Rating: T

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 2057

Something To Look Forward To

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: jooniebears14

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19206946/chapters/45661945

Status: OnGoing

Last Update Approx 2019/6/25

Chapters: 2/?

Summary: After leaving his horrible middle school Izuku Midoriya starts fresh at a new one. Making plenty of friends and experiences along the way, everything was perfect until… // “Izuku were getting married” // “ Oh that’s great I’m so happy for you guys” // “ Yeah and were moving back to Musutafu” // “Wait what”

Rating: T+

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Words: 3293

Zero: the World’s Best Hero Duo

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: Toboe1087

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18548689/chapters/43963657

Summary: There was a next to zero percent chance that it would happen. That two infants would meet each other in the park and have a soulmate connection. That they would grow up together and change the world forever. But that's the thing, the chances were next to zero, but not quite zero.

Status: OnGoing

Last Updated Approx 2019/6/25

Chapters: 24/?

Rating: G

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 40125

Three’s a Crowd

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: ScatteredSounds

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15960185/chapters/37223450

Summary: Izuku wasn't sure if he was ready to find his soulmate, then he found two. He swears upon All Might's abs that he is not ready to handle this shit. Todoroki has had a rough past and finds it difficult to show emotion. Bakugou only know how to show 50 shades of anger. And Izuku is just so happy to have both of them in his life he doesn't really know what to do with himself.

Status: OnGoing

Last Update Approx 20169/6/17

Chapters: 13/?

Rating: E

Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 43949

A Suitable Nickname

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: Fujiwara_no_Seimei

https://archiveofourown.org/works/216812

Status: Complete

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Kotetsu and Barnaby have been living together for years with Kaede, and now a teenager, she's pushing her boundries. Barnaby learns what his real role is in this dysfunctional family.

Rating: T+

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 797

Win Some, Lose Some Series

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: Lirillith

https://archiveofourown.org/series/12623

Status: Incomplete

Last Update 2012/2/13

Works: 3

Win Some, Lose Some Summary: Barnaby visits Kotetsu in the hospital after the final confrontation.

Better Late Than Never Summary: Set during the episode 25 timeskip. Kotetsu and Barnaby get their chance to talk before Kotetsu leaves Stern Bild.

Keep Your Chin Up Summary: Barnaby navigates Christmas solo.

Rating: G-T

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 7096

Potential Happy Endings for Tiger & Bunny

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: wickedorin

https://archiveofourown.org/works/308846/chapters/494248

Status: Complete

Chapters: 5/5

Summary: While I was waiting for the final episode, I had a little fun writing the possible endings that were in my head. Many spoilers, but not really for the final episode.

Rating: M

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death

Words: 5326

Seasons Will Change

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: Tru

https://archiveofourown.org/works/253126

Status: Complete

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: A "what if?" post episode 24.

Rating: T

Warnings: Major Character Death

Words: 1807

Me in You, You in Me

Fandom: Attack on Titan

Author: fromstarlighttodust

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19338721

Status: Complete

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: When an experiment goes wrong, Levi and Eren end up in swapped bodies. Unfortunately, existing as each other until they can figure out how to reverse it turns out to be more difficult than they had anticipated. Ultimately, it leads to a journey of hard truths, mutual discovery and a greater understanding of one another--not to mention an appreciation for being themselves.

Rating: M

Warnings: Underage

Words: 9732

Hero Name

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: miarinnes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19364635/chapters/46072966

Status: OnGoing

Last Updated 2016/6/26

Chapters:1/?

Summary: Bakugou Katsuki was visited by a "ghost" girl named Katsumi. The bubbly 5-year-old instantly got immuned by Katsuki's angry outbursts and a wide range of curses. Who was this girl, this -- Katsumi who had curly blonde hair, round ruby eyes, and freckles across her cheeks? Bakugou does not seem to care until she had talked about her Papa that reminded her of spring and the color green.

Rating: M

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 3957

I’m Only Yours (Forever and Ever)

Fandom: Attack On Titan

Author:Siamesepolyporegoat

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15778020/chapters/36707862

Status: Complete

Series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1164533

Incomplete

Last Update 209/6/20

Chapters: 26/26

Summary: Eren was the second son. He was supposed to be free to love and marry whoever he wanted. So why was he being sent to marry some stranger?

Rating: M

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage

Words: 67781

On the Shoulder of a Giant

Fandom: Attack on Titan

Author: Written By:  Emamel 

Read By: Opalsong

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2791343

Status: Complete

Chapters: 11/11

Summary: The Scouting Legion receives word of a rogue titan in the battle of Trost. // They didn't know what to expect - it certainly wasn't Jaeger.

Rating: M

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Podfic- 0 words read

Savior

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: jaegerackereri

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18077612/chapters/42727589

Status: OnGoing

Last Update 2019/6/29

Chapters: 6/?

Summary: When Izuku's brother Kota becomes gravely ill, the only person that is able to save him is the cruel Dragon King Katsuki Bakugou, but how far is Izuku willing to go to save his brother...

Rating: M

Warnings: Author Chose Not Use Warnings, Rape/Non-Con

Words: 10232

[gotov-otvechat-blog]

The theft of a hoodie

pairing: Bucky x reader

word count: 2.3 k

summary: cheesy fluff, sushi, and a stolen hoodie [shit summary I know, but spoilers ;)]

warning: like probably none, just one (1) cheesy Bucky. oh and a really bad joke. I warned you

a/n: this is gonna be a little bit scattered, as I wrote this while neglecting studying bio for the exam the next day and now I'm neglecting studying maths but like who gives a ---. any way this idea came to me while after I bought this oversized hoodie and just had to write it down. and thank you so much @jitterbuck for reading this before hand you are pure and sweet and deserve the world.

It was a late hazy Sunday afternoon; Sundays were always weird to you, they held a certain tinge of sadness and drowsiness to them, the like a post-weekend depression. Sitting down in the Avengers living room, you were curled up in a bundle of blankets with a book in your hand, staring out the window, watching the rain softly descend from the light stormy sky.

Gentle tapping soothed your mind as the peace sunken into you turned you into almost a trans-like state. Your mind wandered to and from different topics, and it wasn’t long before it settled back on a James Buchanan Barnes, who occupied your thoughts more often than not. The two of you spent a considerable amount of time together, watching movies, wandering the city together, trying new things so you could help Bucky find a new hobby. You helped him with his nightmares, and he grounded you in the moment. The thing was, you didn’t know what you were. You weren't friends. Both of you knew that. Nevertheless, maybe a label was something that the two of you didn't need.

Besides that point, Sundays were usually a relaxing time for the Avengers, after training in the morning, everyone just spread out through the compound or went out.

Wanda and Vision were out for date night, something the two of them did at least once a week, which you thought was very cute, the rest of the team complained about them being too mushy but as soon as the couple turned away most of them would practically fangirl over them, which was comical in its self. Nat and Clint left a while ago arguing about Natasha having developed a new poison fro Clint to try, and he caught her trying to slip it into his coffee, to which Nat replied the last one was not too bad, leaving Clint huffing about how the constant dizziness when he stood up almost drove him crazy. The last you saw of Tony was him yelling at Steve for chucking his cell phone at Tony’s head because of he was annoying Steve.  Bruce muttered something along the lines of late for yoga again while speed walking as whilst Thor asked him what yoga was and Clint asked if he could come too, to which Bruce replied with a hasty yelp of ‘NO’ then grumbled about how he spends way too much time with them, at which you chuckled. Bucky was bickering at Sam putting magnets on his arm and threatened to put an explosive in his wings so that they blow up the next time he uses them.

All that was hours ago, and you hadn’t noticed how the sky had gone dark and a massive storm replaced the lightweight rain. Your body was stiff and aching from sitting in the same position for so long. You let out a groan as you stood up, picked up your blankets as your stomach growled. While you headed to your room you thought about what would be the easiest to do for food. with your eyes trained on the blankets and the book in your arm, you ultimately didn’t notice Bucky standing in front of you with his phone out. As you crashed into him, you ricocheted backwards as he dropped his phone on the ground and put his hands on your shoulders to steady you.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t lookin-” you started saying as you lifted your head and your eyes met Bucky’s.

“Where were you? I’ve been trying to find you for like an hour.” His eyes were a little wide, and voice sounded just a little anxious. “I’m sorry, you just had me worried there doll.”

“I was in the living room reading.”

“I didn’t see you there when I walked by earlier,” he commented, eyebrows furrowed, sending a questioning look your way as he knelt down to pick up his disregarded phone.

“I was sitting behind the couch facing the windows,” your voice got quiet, and guilt crept up as you looked down. You hated making Bucky worry.

“Anyway, its um very late but I was wondering if you wanted to get food, or order take out maybe?” Bucky had a look in his eye that you couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“Sushi?” you asked. Ever since you introduced it to him, it actually became one of his favorite foods.

The best part of it was you trying to teach him how to use chopsticks. It was an absolute disaster but an unforgettable night. At one point he just stabbed the roll with one of them and brought it up to his mouth but just before he could eat it fell on his lap, and he looked down at it, so heartbroken with puppy eyes and a pout that you just about died of laughter right there. But then he ate yours off of your chopstick right before you put the roll in your mouth, and smiled at you, his cheeks full of sushi almost as if he were so proud of himself. Your laughter never stopped, but then you decided to make another attempt at teaching him how to use them Then that lead to you holding his hands to position them to keep the chopstick properly, which lead to the two of you getting lost in the moment and Sam and Tony coughing loudly at the same time.

“Yeah sure, I'll order and meet you in my room? Also, I get to choose the movie this time. Saw was fucking creepy,” his voice echoed as he walked down the hall and visibly shuddered at the mention of the night that the two of you binged all the Saw movies.

“Says the hundred and one-year-old assassin!” you laughed.

“That guy has issues far worse than mine, and you know it!” he called out as he disappeared down the corner of the hall.

You shook your head and laughed at him while making way to your room so you could dump all the blankets and get a hoodie instead.

As you rummaged around you couldn’t find your favorite one, and so you settled for another one of your best ones. Most of your hoodies were oversized, so on lazy days it always felt like a huge soft, warm hug. You made your way to Bucky’s room. You walked in and threw yourself on his bed as he stood by the window finishing the order.

“Did you order my usual?” you asked while sorting his pillows into the most comfortable positions.

“You know I did.” He sat next to you and turned on the tv.

You cuddled up next to him as he lies down leaning his back against the headboard. An idea pops into your head.  

“Wanna watch the 2017 remake of King Kong? I haven’t seen it yet,”  you looked up at him as you asked.

His breath got caught in his throat and he just merely nodded at you, not that you had noticed.

A good twenty minutes into the film, the food had arrived, and Bucky went to collect it, which is when you noticed something. That hoodie looked eerily similar to your favorite which had magically vanished into thin air. It also was just the tiniest bit too small on his body, especially having trouble accommodating his broad shoulders. You giggled at the thoughts and decided to start the interrogation when he returned.

Just about ten minutes later he walked into the room, boxes of food piled up in his arms. Right before he was about to announce that dinner is served (because he is the dork of the century), you jumped up at the opportunity to catch him by surprise so that he would be honest with you.

“Hey Bucky, is that my hoodie, by any chance?” you stood on your knees so that you were at the same eyesight.

He thought you were way too close to him, and you shouldn't be wearing another one of your oversized hoodies he loved so damn much but wouldn't admit to. Your messy hair and snoozy eyes staring up at him in a challenge, asking him a question he wasn't ready to confront himself about.

“Uh, well, um, no,” his cheeks flushed, eyes widened, and he froze an antelope in headlights [i know I know don’t kill me]. “ I, got this hoodie when last time Steve and I went to Brooklyn.

“Really? Because mine was just about exactly the same, coincidence?” Oh teasing him was just about your favorite hobby.

“Yeah, coincidence,” he mumbled. Even the tips of his ears were turning into a shade of red.

You laughed at him, “ Is there a reason why its just a little bit too small for you?”

“It's comfier?” his statement hung in the air like an unanswered question.

“Okay, mister coincidence.” You had your share of teasing him for the night. You weren't that bothered by the theft of your best article of clothing; after all, it was Bucky and the fact that he stole your clothes just made your heart flutter and try to tear itself into little pieces. “ Let's eat before you turn into Nat’s hair.”

Both of you sat down on the bed and resumed the movie, opening the food boxes and laying them down between yourselves. You put the poxes together when you finished and then threw them in the trash. Your body was catching on to the sleepiness of your mind, and you made your way beak to cuddling Bucky. By the ending of the movie, you were almost asleep with your head on Bucky’s lap and his fingers threading through hair.

A low grumbling voice broke you out of your half dazed sleep, as he quietly asked: “Do you want it back, doll?”

Your brain didn't comprehend what he had said this late in the night, as well as how you were practically purring at the slow tug and faint scratches through your hair. His fingers stilled before he repeated himself.

“Do you want the hoodie back?” There was an edge to his voice, almost like he was on the verge of building up walls around himself to shield off any pain that may come from the oncoming conversation.

When you didn't answer since you were practically dozing off, he decided an explanation for his actions was due.

“I’m sorry for stealing it. It's just that your hoodies are always so big and comfy that they actually fit me, they smell like you, and they comfort me when you’re gone, and just everything about them is so you.” The words behind Bucky's lilting low voice made you lift your head up, and your eyes cover over with concern.

“I was teasing you earlier, Bucky. I love that you stole it and then bashfully denied that it was mine.” with your words, Bucky finally dared to look at you, with a small smile playing on the corner of his mouth. “Granted it was my favorite hoodie...” you grumbled playfully.

You were now fully facing him, with your weight distributed between the both of your hands on the bed, which rapidly changed with Bucky tackling you and landing on top while the two of you bounced on the bed.

Both of you burst out laughing, and without a second of thinking, Bucky closed the distance between your lips. Just as fast as he did that he pulled away fearful that he stepped over your boundaries, instinctively ready to hide, resulting in a soft peck that left you wanting, craving for more.

"Come back here right this second you thief. You already stole my hoodie, don't you dare rob me of my well-deserved kisses and happiness," your sleepy voice demanded of him, and this time it was his heart that was warming up and beaming from every angle.

"Right before I do-"

You cut off him speaking to mesh your lips against his, your delirious sleepy brain, not at all comprehending that this wasn't one of your many dreams. The tiny groan coming from the back of his throat spurged you on, and you ran your tongue along his lip before opening his mouth and delving deeper into the kiss.

Without pulling away, he muttered against your lips what he was previously was trying to say.

"What I was going to say earlier before I was so rudely interrupted was that would you do a favor for me?"

"There's very little I wouldn't do for you right now, as long as it gets you mouth back on mine: I'd set the entire world on fire," you sighed jokingly while rubbing your nose on his. Dear universe, you were happy that you could do this to him now.

"Would you wear your hoodie for a few days? It's starting to lose your scent, and that's actually one of the things I love most about it," his puppy eyes that he pulled out every time he asked anything, pleading with you.

You snorted at the notation. " You do see the irony of asking me to wear my hoodie, right?"

He let out a huff of laughter that passed through his body into yours, travelling through it, sending shivers down your spine as he put his face between the space of your neck and shoulder.

"Oh shut up. I thought I was cute and sweet."

"Cheesy."

One word out of you got him to give up another huff of laughter. He was so high over the moon for you.

"You promised me kisses, Barnes. If I don't get them, I will set the world on fire."

"I thought the deal was you do what I asked?" he questioned, his mouth got unbelievably close to yours, and you glanced down to see them in a perfect shade of red and pink.

"I'd told you I'd do anything."

"I'd say get on it then." It was mere seconds before the smirk was wiped off his face.

lemme know whatcha think--- love the feedback, always!!

masterlist

[techcrunchappcom]

New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/trump-walks-out-of-60-minutes-interview-with-lesley-stahl-then-shames-her-for-not-wearing-a-mask-daily-mail/

Trump walks out of 60 Minutes interview with Lesley Stahl - then shames her for NOT wearing a mask - Daily Mail

President Trump abruptly ended his 60 Minutes interview on Tuesday because he did not like the tough questions posed by CBS journalist Lesley Stahl, who quizzed him on his response to the coronavirus pandemic and questioned the size of his campaign rally crowds, according to a new report. 

The president walked out of the sit-down just 45 minutes into the meeting, telling the network he believed he had given them enough material before accusing them of being biased towards Democratic rival Joe Biden.

He then threatened to release footage of the encounter before its scheduled airtime on Sunday, aiming to expose the ‘fake and biased’ interview without further elaborating on what went wrong. 

Sources told The Washington Post late Tuesday that Trump had actually cut the interview short because he was unhappy with Stahl’s hardball approach and was worried the discussion would be edited to portray him in an unflattering light. 

Stahl had reportedly prefaced the conversation by asking Trump if he was ‘ready for a tough interview’, before grilling him on his administration’s handling of the pandemic and his exchanges with Dr Anthony Fauci.

She also is said to have confronted him over his rhetoric about Democratic Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, who authorities say was the intended victim of an alleged kidnapping plot which was foiled by cops last month. 

President Trump promoted his upcoming 60 Minutes interview during a campaign rally in Pennsylvania on Tuesday, urging his crowd of supporters to tune in and watch the awkward exchange unfold

The president teased his fans telling them they’ll ‘get a kick out’ what he did to CBS journalist Lesley Stahl, after he abruptly ended the sit-down after 45 minutes

President Donald Trump threatened to release his entire ’60 Minutes’ interview with Lesley Stahl before the show is broadcast on Sunday. Trump called the interview an ‘Electoral Intrusion’ 

She also brought up the allegations against Joe Biden’s son Hunter, which the president has seized on during his campaign rallies just days before the election, seeking to portray the Bidens as a ‘crime family’.

Stahl during the interview told Trump the claims against Hunter were unverified and also said the Obama administration did not spy on his campaign, insiders told the publication. 

About 45 minutes later, Trump told his staff, ‘I think we’re done, do you guys agree?’ before leaving the room to complain to his aides. 

Trump reportedly told them that Biden, who was interviewed by the network earlier, had had an easier interview and believed the video footage of his discussion with Stahl was going to be cut to ‘make him look bad.’ 

He also expressed to his staff that he wanted to go after Stahl in return and began floating ideas around with his aides in the Oval Office, a senior White House official said.  

‘The interview was not that bad,’ a White House staff member told the Post. ‘It wasn’t a bad interview. She just had a tone he didn’t like.’

After the interview, Trump took to Twitter where he threatened to release the footage ahead of time for the sake of ‘accuracy’, accusing the network of favoring Biden. 

According to sources close to the president, Stahl had reportedly prefaced the discussion by asking Trump if he was ‘ready for a tough interview’, before grilling him on his administration’s handling of the pandemic, his clashes with Dr Anthony Fauci (left) and his remarks about Democratic Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer (right)

Trump (pictured during a coronavirus press briefing in March) was allegedly not pleased with Stahl’s aggressive approach during the interview and her ‘tough’ questions 

 Stahl had also told Trump the claims against his Democratic rival’s son Hunter Biden were not verified despite the president repeatedly promoting the allegations as fact during his campaign rallies

‘I am pleased to inform you that, for the sake of accuracy in reporting, I am considering posting my interview with Lesley Stahl of 60 Minutes, PRIOR TO AIRTIME!’ Trump wrote. ‘This will be done so that everybody can get a glimpse of what a FAKE and BIASED interview is all about.’

‘Everyone should compare this terrible Electoral Intrusion with the recent interviews of Sleepy Joe Biden!’ Trump added. 

He also tweeted a video of Stahl at the White House, pointing out that she wasn’t wearing a mask.

Trump went on to tease the television special during a campaign rally in Pennsylvania, urging his crowd of supporters to tune in and watch the awkward exchange unfold. 

‘You have to watch what we do to 60 Minutes, you’ll get such a kick out of it,’ Trump said. ‘You’re gonna get a kick out of it. Lesley Stahl’s not gonna be happy.’  

CNN earlier reported that Trump had walked out of the interview and didn’t return for a planned walk-and-talk with Vice President Mike Pence.  

The president has fumed that Biden’s pool of reporters asked the Democratic nominee what kind of milkshake he bought during a recent campaign stop. 

‘He’s committed crimes and they ask him about a milkshake,’ the president said on his Tuesday morning ‘Fox & Friends’ call-in.  

Supporters cheer as President Donald Trump departs following a campaign rally at Erie International Airport, Tom Ridge Field in Erie, Pennsylvania on Tuesday

President Donald Trump walked out of a ’60 Minutes’ interview early on Tuesday CNN reported and then tweeted about how interviewer Lesley Stahl was at the White House not wearing a mask to prevent the spread of COVID-19

President Donald Trump shared a clip of ’60 Minutes” Lesley Stahl standing around bare-faced at the White House lobbing criticism at her for appearing unmasked. Both Trump and Stahl have already contracted and recovered from COVID-19  

Press aide Karoline Leavitt, who has also tested positive and since recovered from the coronavirus, suggested in a tweet after President Donald Trump’s that Lesley Stahl was a hypocrite, saying the ’60 Minutes’ anchor chided her for not wearing a mask at work 

The first indication something had gone awry with Stahl was the six-second video Trump shared that showed the broadcaster bare-faced talking to two masked men holding a bundle of papers, presumably interview notes. 

‘Lesley Stahl of 60 Minutes not wearing a mask in the White House after her interview with me. Much more to come,’ the president wrote. 

The New York Times later reported that Stahl wore a mask up until the interview and the video Trump posted was taken directly afterward. 

The Times also noted that Stahl was talking to two CBS News producers in the clip. 

Trump and Pence were both interviewed by Stahl Tuesday at the White House.  

Democratic nominee Joe Biden and his running mate, Sen. Kamala Harris, were also interviewed by the program, for an episode to be broadcast Sunday. 

Trump’s tweet was followed up by a tweet from press aide Karoline Leavitt. 

‘This is moments after she criticized me for not wearing a mask while working at my desk,’ Leavitt wrote. ‘Rules for thee but not for me, Lesley?’ 

The pile-on continued when White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany retweeted Leavitt’s commentary.  

White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany also posted this image of Lesley Stahl holding what McEnany called what President Donald Trump ‘has done for healthcare in the United States’ 

The Trump campaign’s senior adviser Jason Miller called CNN’s reporting ‘fake news,’ saying that ‘we have the receipts from the interview.’ CNN had reported that President Donald Trump left the sit-down with ’60 Minutes’ abruptly 

Leavitt is among the group of White House press aides who tested positive for COVID-19 on the heels of the announcement that the president and first lady Melania Trump had the virus. 

McEnany tested positive too. 

McEnany later tweeted out an image of Stahl holding a large binder handed to her by the press secretary. 

‘Handing Lesley Stahl just a small part of what President Donald Trump has done for healthcare in the United States. She couldn’t believe how HUGE it was and said, “I can hardly lift this,”‘ McEnany wrote.  

Additionally, Campaign adviser Jason Miller pushed back on CNN’s reporting labeling it ‘fake news.’ 

‘No drama, interview was not ended abruptly and we have the receipts from the interview – all of them!’ Miller tweeted. ‘Maybe we need to put the whole thing out so people can see for themselves?’ 

‘Lesley’s a bad example for mask wearing, Kaitlan – don’t follow her lead!!!’ Miller wrote in a tweet directed at CNN’s Collins.  

President Donald Trump has been on a media-insulting bender, including calling a Reuters reporter a ‘criminal’ Monday but has continued to engage in interviews and appearances. Here he’s photographed talking to reporters Monday night on a return trip from a campaign swing

In early May, Stahl revealed she had been hospitalized for the coronavirus. 

‘After two weeks at home in bed, weak, fighting pneumonia, and really scared, I went to the hospital,’ she said. ‘I found an overworked, nearly overwhelmed staff. Every one of them kind, sympathetic, gentle and caring from the moment I arrived until the moment days later when I was wheeled out through a gauntlet of cheering medical workers.’

‘In the face of so much death, they celebrate their triumphs,’ Stahl said.  

A spokesperson for CBS News did not immediately return DailyMail.com’s request for comment. 

Trump has been famously critical of mask-wearing, chiding Biden for doing so while on the campaign trail, while falsely claiming the Dr. Anthony Fauci initially said masks don’t work. 

Fauci was reluctant to endorse widespread mask-wearing in the early weeks of the coronavirus pandemic to ensure there wasn’t a shortage for medical and frontline workers. 

The president has also been on a media-insulting bender – calling a Reuters White House correspondent Monday a ‘criminal,’ suggesting Thursday night’s debate moderator, NBC’s Kristen Welker, will be ‘unfair’ and sparring on the Las Vegas tarmac with NBC’s Kelly O’Donnell for defending Welker as a legitimate reporter. 

Yet he continues to talk to the press daily, speaking to reporters on board Air Force One Monday night, after participating in two gaggles on the ground. 

He also agreed to the ’60 Minutes’ segment. 

And he headlined a more Trump-friendly Sinclair broadcasting town hall on the White House grounds Tuesday. 

Trump did, however, ignore shouted questions Tuesday night after his threat via Twitter to release the ’60 Minutes’ interview early.  

Stahl revealed that she spoke off-camera during his 2016 presidential run to Trump about why he frequently attacks the media.

‘He said, “You know why I do it? I do it to discredit you all and demean you all so when you write negative stories about me, no one will believe you.” He said that,’ Stahl said. 

[techieninja18]

So I’ve had a rough past couple of days and l’m trying to deal with some things that make me really uncomfortable. I don’t really know what made me decide to talk about it here, but I guess I felt like venting to someone other than my parents right now, even if it just ends up in the void. This involves some very personal stuff, including things of a feminine nature (like physically), so don’t read if you don’t want to hear anything of that sort.

It’s no secret that I have depression and anxiety issues. Earlier this spring I had to do a routine med check and, since I was having trouble with some previously prescribed meds, I ended up switching. This summer was tough, though I noted some improvement. Unlike my final spring semester of college, I didn’t have as many of the worst physical symptoms of anxiety such as pounding heart, chest pains, and difficulty breathing, so while there was improvement with my anxiety the symptoms of my depression became more prevalent and remain so now. I have no desire or will to do anything, I’ve lost interest in the things I’m supposed to enjoy, and I just feel wiped out all the time. I knew these symptoms would get worse starting in August when I moved back in with my parents after my summer job/internship ended. I have yet to find a new job and my poor mental health is definitely not helping.

Part of it has to do with living back at home. All of the independence I’ve gained the past few years while living out of town for school is pretty much gone. My parents treat me as if I were still in high school: not letting me do things my own way, telling me what I’m going to do with my time without even asking me if I had other plans, giving me my old list of chores (which I can understand while I’m still unemployed, though I know it won’t change once I do get another job) while my teenage brother doesn’t have to do any most of the time and he’ll just sit on his X-box (seriously, they are so lax with him; they give him so much more freedom and let him get away with so much more with fewer restrictions than I ever had, and he’s less responsible than I was as a teenager, but I digress...), just not taking me seriously or treating me like an adult the majority of the time. My dad even got pissed off last week because I wasn’t up at his shop working by 10:30 on Sunday like he’d mentioned he wanted me to do two days prior, yet he wasn’t even up there (I can’t get in without him because I don’t have a key), and I was supposed to take my brother up there with me, but he wasn’t ready by 10:30 either. My dad came into my room and chewed my ass for not doing what he said (he wanted me to mow the lawn, and with no one else up there there was no point in me going, plus there was literally no reason it had to be done so early since there was still plenty of dew on the grass anyway). He said it was stuff like that that was the reason he still “treated me like shit sometimes.” Yes, those were his exact words. It hurt me for the rest of the day and off and on for the next few days (I even had to hide tears from my mom two days later, though she did end up prying it out of me later anyway). Dad seemed to by in a better mood by lunch that day and was trying to joke around at lunch, but it made no difference to me.

He doesn’t always realize how his words affect me. Like, shortly after moving home, he would always say “you know, for being smart, sometimes you make stupid look easy” after I said something kinda dumb or I accidentally messed something up. I know it’s a quote from a movie and that it’s supposed to be a joke, but he said it a lot. It make me think of a particularly bad incident that happened in the last week of my summer job. It was never officially my fault, but I still feel responsible, and I still feel incredibly stupid for it. There was an incident a couple summers ago at a different summer job that was pretty bad (not that I ever got in any sort of trouble for it, it wasn’t good but it was fine, and it was labelled as an accident though I know it was entirely my fault). I had flashbacks to every stupid thing I’ve ever done or said, especially those two incidences, and I really started to feel stupid, like I can’t do anything without fucking it up. I’ve felt so worthless, pathetic, and stupid. After my mom saw how much those words hurt me she called my dad out on it and he ended up poking and prodding at my mind trying to piss me off after that just to get me to confront and stand up to him. He said he realized how much that saying could hurt, and he did apologize, but then continued to push to get an emotional response out off me, which he has a tendency to do when I’m under pressure or stressed or in an apparent mood. The problem is that he purposely takes control away from me as much as possible in these situations (like seriously, he’s admitted that he does it intentionally because it does piss me off). He’ll interrupt me constantly but won’t let me interrupt him, he’ll tell me how he’s right and I’m wrong, won’t always let me talk or defend myself, and often finds ways to belittle and/or underestimate me, not giving me enough credit for what I do know or why I do certain things certain ways. It’s incredibly infuriating and frustrating. Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t really listen to me or make an effort to truly understand/accept parts of me.

Mom doesn’t always either, though it’s different with her. I think she tries to understand, but isn’t always capable of doing so. That’s seemed more prevalent lately. For example, when I came out as ace to her I could tell she didn’t understand. She tries to, or appears to try sometimes, though she clearly can’t understand that I don’t feel any sort of sexual attraction to anyone since she “never had that problem.” She keeps telling me to “just try it! You may like it. How can you know if you’ve never tried! Never say never. You just haven’t found the right person yet. You’re going to have to eventually, how do you expect to have kids? It’s just a part of life.” I don’t currently have any desire to have kids or in a relationship of any sort, which sucks right now because both my mom and dad are pressuring me to “get some” with a guy friend who I’ve been friends on and off with, and they’ve really wanted me to get into a relationship with him because they “don’t think I can do any better than him.” Ouch. Like, I know they really want grandkids (sooner rather than later), but no. They always say “no pressure,” but that never does anything to alleviate any pressure, especially since this guy has wanted to be in a relationship with me and I’ve realized I’m on the aro spectrum as well as the ace spectrum, so I really don’t see that happening. Neither of my parents want to accept me as aro/ace, and it can be really hard sometimes.

There are other things my parents haven’t been accepting of, at least not at first, but I hope that can change. Back in high school when I took my first psych class and started learning about depression and anxiety, I tried telling my mom I thought I had depression/anxiety. She told my dad and the first thing he said to me after that was, “No. If we thought you were depressed we’d be the first ones dragging your butt to a doctor.” That was the end of that conversation. Fast forward 4 years, I found myself sitting in the doctor’s office for my annual physical, and when I was asked about concerns it was like a switch had been flipped and I started sobbing in front of the doctor. I’d had a really stressful semester prior to that and I was in bad shape. She determined that yes, I did have clinical depression and anxiety, and that the anxiety had probably gone undiagnosed for years (I’m betting since childhood). She also mentioned that it could be partially genetic, and that’s how I learned that my mom also has depression/anxiety but had neglected to say anything to me prior to that and even helped my dad deny that anything was wrong with me because I was apparently high-functioning. Imagine how hurt that made me feel, like I’d been ignored when clearly a problem did exist. That same feeling of hurt has been plaguing me this week.

I’ve known since my med check in the spring that I was overdue for a physical because I hadn’t had one since I was 20 (I’m now 23), and that they had to do a pap smear/pelvic exam at this physical. I’ve been absolutely dreading that since the moment I heard about it. For a little background, I’ve always had issues “down there.” I’ve never been able to use tampons or anything because of discomfort and pain. I’d fight for at least a half hour with multiple tampons of the smallest size during my heavy flow and still not be able to get one in. I couldn’t find my way inside, and no matter which direction I angled the thing it either felt like I was hitting a wall and creating pressure or it would be uncomfortable and start to hurt. I only ever managed to get one in once, and it was uncomfortable the whole time, even when I took it out (after it was fully saturated). I told my mom about this at the time and she brushed it off, told me discomfort was normal at first and that I would get used to it, I just had to keep trying. She picked on me sometimes for being a wuss for not trying tampons again, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, especially since I was fine with pads. So yeah, I’ve had increasing anxiety about this exam as it approached. A couple days ago I decided not to try a tampon (because I’m not on my period yet so there’s no point) but my finger just to see if I could do it this time, figuring several years might have made a difference (because hey, it happened with contacts, where I couldn’t get them in the first time but when I tried a couple years later they went in just fine, so I thought maybe this would be like that). It didn’t. I couldn’t even find my way in, and touching that area just felt so uncomfortable like my body was telling me not to touch (not painful exactly, but bordering on it), up until I touched a spot trying to push in that immediately caused a sharper pain like what I remember feeling before. Instead of helping my anxiety, that little experiment only made it worse. For the next few days, the mere thought of this exam made me cry. I told my mom that I still couldn’t do it and that I was terrified, and she tried to make me feel better, but it was clear she was getting frustrated with me. She told me I had to get this exam done, it was just part of life, that I’d have to suck it up and “put my big girl panties on and just do it.” I felt like I had no support, she still didn’t understand.

I had to drag myself to this doctor’s appointment yesterday because I really really didn’t want to go. I was extremely tight-wound and nervous as hell, and I told the nurse why. She tried to make me feel better but it didn’t really work. She changed the speculum the doctor was going to use to the smallest they had (the “child-sized” one), but when she showed me the small one I just felt so nauseated; the smallest they had was still bigger than the smallest tampons I couldn’t insert, and I started hyperventilating after the nurse left the room. I fought tears while waiting for the doctor to come in, but once she did I just started sobbing. I already felt I wasn’t being taken seriously, and I was worried it would just get worse. The doctor said she’d have to at least take a look in there to see if anything was going on, and she said she didn’t see any problems, though I don’t know how much she could see because she couldn’t get the lamp over there to see the way she wanted. She told me she was going to put a couple fingers in to check, and immediately I felt that uncomfortable, almost painful sensation, which I told her about. She went deeper and suddenly there was the sharper pain. She stopped then because I was so uncomfortable, saying that “at least I made it that far... might’ve even made it all the way.” That didn’t make me feel better. She still didn’t find anything wrong and chalked the discomfort and pain up to anxiety (I mean, I wasn’t exactly relaxed, but that was as relaxed as I was going to get without being sedated or something). That didn’t make me feel any better either, in fact, it kinda made me feel worse, and I kept fighting tears because I was already embarrassed and freaked out. Then she asked me if I’d ever been abused, which I haven’t to my knowledge (I would’ve had to have been too young to remember if I was because I have a pretty good memory and can remember a lot from when I was little). It kind of bothered me that she asked that question, especially after I told her about me being on the aro/ace spectrum. She believes I really need a counselor for my general anxiety/depression, but she also thinks I may have some unresolved issues that may be causing the problems with my lack of comfort with various types of intimacy, so to speak. I know she means well, but it still felt really invalidating.

She did refer me to a women’s health specialist, so I have an appointment with them in a couple weeks. I told my mom about how things went after the appointment and that I was pretty much an emotional wreck and would probably be a vegetable for the rest of the day after getting home and taking my meds (they can apparently sedate me somewhat, though the crash that comes after an attack that strong also does that, and that is pretty much how I spent the rest of the day). She didn’t say much about me not being able to go through the exam. but she took the day off on the day I have my next appointment so I don’t have to go alone. She can access my medical stuff because I gave her legal permission deal with it too, so she checked my appointment info and apparently I have not one, but two appointments that morning. The first one is apparently to get an ultrasound, and the other is to actually have the gynecologist check me out. The addition of an appointment for an ultrasound makes me even more nervous, though I suppose it might be standard for something like this, I don’t really know. But yeah, I’m still incredibly nervous about this whole thing and really really really don’t want to do it. I’m sure I’m only going to get more nervous as those appointments get closer, and I expect I’ll probably be a teary-eyed mess then too. I hope they won’t have to actually sedate me to get in there, but I’m worried that’s what it’ll take, and if they find something it could mean surgery to fix. It’s just terrifying for someone like me who doesn’t want anyone or anything doing anything down there (myself included).

My mom now thinks that my being ace is just because I’m afraid of pain down there, so I still feel invalidated. I’ll admit that is one reason I have no interest in sex, but that is not why I’ve never felt sexual attraction nor why I consider myself ace. She’s trying to make me feel more normal about things, but tonight I finally called her out on not taking me seriously. I reminded her that I told her about these problems years ago, like how I told her about the depression/anxiety thing back in high school too (and ended up being right), and that she just brushed these things off. I could tell she felt kind of bad after that, and she did say “well, hindsight is 20/20,” which is true, but I don’t think that makes up for her (and dad) not listening/taking me seriously on these things, I wish they could just do that from the start. But then, I’m just the kid, what do I know, right? It’s not like I could really know myself or my own body...

So yeah, I don’t know if anybody’s even going to read this, but this is just some of what’s been going on with me, and I just felt like I had to get some of it out of my system. Sorry for the super-long whine/rant.

[newestbalance]

Patrick road to retirement ends at Indy 500

INDIANAPOLIS (Reuters) – As far as retirement parties go it is doubtful there has been one bigger than the bash that will be thrown for Danica Patrick when the ‘Queen of Speed’ ends her career on Sunday at the Indianapolis 500.

FILE PHOTO: Verizon IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick gets ready to get in her car during practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S., May 15, 2018. Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

As many as 300,000 plus spectators are expected to fill the grandstands of the sprawling 2.5 mile oval for the ‘Greatest Spectacle in Racing’ and many of those will be there to say goodbye to motorsport’s most celebrated woman driver.

The only woman to win an IndyCar race and start from pole at the Daytona 500, the 36-year-old American announced last November that she had reached the end of the road and would bring the curtain down on her ground-breaking career with the “Danica Double” contesting the Daytona and Indy 500s.

As far as swansongs go, February’s Daytona 500 was a bust, ending in a wreck, but the Indy 500 holds out the promise of something special.

During a 14-year career, evenly split between IndyCar and NASCAR, it was the Indy 500 that provided most of the material for Patrick’s career highlights reel and made her one of North America’s most recognizable athletes.

Her third-place finish in 2009 remains the best result by a woman in the Indy 500 while her resume also includes coming fourth in 2005 on her rookie debut and sixth in 2006.

A fierce and fearless competitor, Patrick has also led 29 laps at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway another high water mark for women drivers.

“What I will remember most will be my first Indy 500 and, God, I hope I will remember my last one even more,” Patrick told Reuters, rating her Indy 500 debut ahead of her 2008 win at Motegi. “That would be my goal.

“But the first Indy 500 is what I will remember most, the most defining time in my career and the most fond memories.”

FILE PHOTO: Verizon IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick (13) drives into turn one during practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S., May 17, 2018. Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

GIRL POWER

For a time Girl Power was all the rage at the Brickyard, with four women sprinkled through the 33-car starting grids in 2010, 2011 and 2013.

But this year Patrick, back in her trademark GoDaddy electric green Chevrolet, will carry the flag alone.

While standard bearer is a familiar role for Patrick, it is not one she embraces. Rather than being an advocate for women’s causes, Patrick prefers to inspire.

She says when it came to racing she never sought out mentors nor does she want the job.

“I’ve never been a driver that wants a mentor,” said Patrick. “But I am always encouraging people to find what it is they are passionate about and love and that is what is going to give them the ability to persevere through the hard times and have that chance for greatness.

“Whether they are a guy or girl, whether they want to be a race car driver or an astronaut, it’s about finding what it is that you love.”

Patrick understood early on what it would take to survive in the high-testosterone macho world of motorsport.

She did not want to be labeled a “woman” driver but did not want people to forget it either.

FILE PHOTO: IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick during Carb Day practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, May 25, 2018. Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

For a while Patrick’s racy photo shoots, including appearances in two Sports Illustrated swim suit editions, drew as much attention as her driving.

PATRICK’S STORYLINE

From the start Patrick had a firm grasp of exactly what her storyline was and used it to build her brand.

“I’m here largely because I am woman,” she said. “I don’t want people to forget that I am a girl, I don’t think they really can, and I don’t want them to because it is part of my story.

“It’s what put me here in this position today and has given me all the opportunities I have had, at least in part.”

Just 5-foot 2-inches and 100 pounds, the diminutive driver asked for no quarter and offered none.

At the 2007 Milwaukee Mile, unhappy about a late race encounter with the late Dan Wheldon, Patrick climbed out of her car and marched down the pit lane where she confronted the Briton, grabbed him by the arm and then shoved him.

“You can’t be a pushover in your job and I can’t be a pushover in mine,” said Patrick. “If you want to climb the ladder and do great things you have to believe in you and get people to believe in you.

“You have to be sure of what you want.”

Win or lose on Sunday, Patrick will exit having won the respect of everyone up and down pit lane.

“She’s been carrying the flag for the female drivers in IndyCar and she certainly belongs there,” Sebastian Bourdais, a past IndyCar champion and Formula One driver told Reuters. “She proved that she belongs in IndyCar.

“I hope for sure she will have a good last race.”

The post Patrick road to retirement ends at Indy 500 appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2LwDtI0 via Everyday News

[dani-qrt]

Patrick road to retirement ends at Indy 500

INDIANAPOLIS (Reuters) – As far as retirement parties go it is doubtful there has been one bigger than the bash that will be thrown for Danica Patrick when the ‘Queen of Speed’ ends her career on Sunday at the Indianapolis 500.

FILE PHOTO: Verizon IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick gets ready to get in her car during practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S., May 15, 2018. Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

As many as 300,000 plus spectators are expected to fill the grandstands of the sprawling 2.5 mile oval for the ‘Greatest Spectacle in Racing’ and many of those will be there to say goodbye to motorsport’s most celebrated woman driver.

The only woman to win an IndyCar race and start from pole at the Daytona 500, the 36-year-old American announced last November that she had reached the end of the road and would bring the curtain down on her ground-breaking career with the “Danica Double” contesting the Daytona and Indy 500s.

As far as swansongs go, February’s Daytona 500 was a bust, ending in a wreck, but the Indy 500 holds out the promise of something special.

During a 14-year career, evenly split between IndyCar and NASCAR, it was the Indy 500 that provided most of the material for Patrick’s career highlights reel and made her one of North America’s most recognizable athletes.

Her third-place finish in 2009 remains the best result by a woman in the Indy 500 while her resume also includes coming fourth in 2005 on her rookie debut and sixth in 2006.

A fierce and fearless competitor, Patrick has also led 29 laps at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway another high water mark for women drivers.

“What I will remember most will be my first Indy 500 and, God, I hope I will remember my last one even more,” Patrick told Reuters, rating her Indy 500 debut ahead of her 2008 win at Motegi. “That would be my goal.

“But the first Indy 500 is what I will remember most, the most defining time in my career and the most fond memories.”

FILE PHOTO: Verizon IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick (13) drives into turn one during practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S., May 17, 2018. Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

GIRL POWER

For a time Girl Power was all the rage at the Brickyard, with four women sprinkled through the 33-car starting grids in 2010, 2011 and 2013.

But this year Patrick, back in her trademark GoDaddy electric green Chevrolet, will carry the flag alone.

While standard bearer is a familiar role for Patrick, it is not one she embraces. Rather than being an advocate for women’s causes, Patrick prefers to inspire.

She says when it came to racing she never sought out mentors nor does she want the job.

“I’ve never been a driver that wants a mentor,” said Patrick. “But I am always encouraging people to find what it is they are passionate about and love and that is what is going to give them the ability to persevere through the hard times and have that chance for greatness.

“Whether they are a guy or girl, whether they want to be a race car driver or an astronaut, it’s about finding what it is that you love.”

Patrick understood early on what it would take to survive in the high-testosterone macho world of motorsport.

She did not want to be labeled a “woman” driver but did not want people to forget it either.

FILE PHOTO: IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick during Carb Day practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, May 25, 2018. Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

For a while Patrick’s racy photo shoots, including appearances in two Sports Illustrated swim suit editions, drew as much attention as her driving.

PATRICK’S STORYLINE

From the start Patrick had a firm grasp of exactly what her storyline was and used it to build her brand.

“I’m here largely because I am woman,” she said. “I don’t want people to forget that I am a girl, I don’t think they really can, and I don’t want them to because it is part of my story.

“It’s what put me here in this position today and has given me all the opportunities I have had, at least in part.”

Just 5-foot 2-inches and 100 pounds, the diminutive driver asked for no quarter and offered none.

At the 2007 Milwaukee Mile, unhappy about a late race encounter with the late Dan Wheldon, Patrick climbed out of her car and marched down the pit lane where she confronted the Briton, grabbed him by the arm and then shoved him.

“You can’t be a pushover in your job and I can’t be a pushover in mine,” said Patrick. “If you want to climb the ladder and do great things you have to believe in you and get people to believe in you.

“You have to be sure of what you want.”

Win or lose on Sunday, Patrick will exit having won the respect of everyone up and down pit lane.

“She’s been carrying the flag for the female drivers in IndyCar and she certainly belongs there,” Sebastian Bourdais, a past IndyCar champion and Formula One driver told Reuters. “She proved that she belongs in IndyCar.

“I hope for sure she will have a good last race.”

The post Patrick road to retirement ends at Indy 500 appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2LwDtI0 via Online News

[dragnews]

Patrick road to retirement ends at Indy 500

INDIANAPOLIS (Reuters) – As far as retirement parties go it is doubtful there has been one bigger than the bash that will be thrown for Danica Patrick when the ‘Queen of Speed’ ends her career on Sunday at the Indianapolis 500.

FILE PHOTO: Verizon IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick gets ready to get in her car during practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S., May 15, 2018. Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

As many as 300,000 plus spectators are expected to fill the grandstands of the sprawling 2.5 mile oval for the ‘Greatest Spectacle in Racing’ and many of those will be there to say goodbye to motorsport’s most celebrated woman driver.

The only woman to win an IndyCar race and start from pole at the Daytona 500, the 36-year-old American announced last November that she had reached the end of the road and would bring the curtain down on her ground-breaking career with the “Danica Double” contesting the Daytona and Indy 500s.

As far as swansongs go, February’s Daytona 500 was a bust, ending in a wreck, but the Indy 500 holds out the promise of something special.

During a 14-year career, evenly split between IndyCar and NASCAR, it was the Indy 500 that provided most of the material for Patrick’s career highlights reel and made her one of North America’s most recognizable athletes.

Her third-place finish in 2009 remains the best result by a woman in the Indy 500 while her resume also includes coming fourth in 2005 on her rookie debut and sixth in 2006.

A fierce and fearless competitor, Patrick has also led 29 laps at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway another high water mark for women drivers.

“What I will remember most will be my first Indy 500 and, God, I hope I will remember my last one even more,” Patrick told Reuters, rating her Indy 500 debut ahead of her 2008 win at Motegi. “That would be my goal.

“But the first Indy 500 is what I will remember most, the most defining time in my career and the most fond memories.”

FILE PHOTO: Verizon IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick (13) drives into turn one during practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S., May 17, 2018. Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

GIRL POWER

For a time Girl Power was all the rage at the Brickyard, with four women sprinkled through the 33-car starting grids in 2010, 2011 and 2013.

But this year Patrick, back in her trademark GoDaddy electric green Chevrolet, will carry the flag alone.

While standard bearer is a familiar role for Patrick, it is not one she embraces. Rather than being an advocate for women’s causes, Patrick prefers to inspire.

She says when it came to racing she never sought out mentors nor does she want the job.

“I’ve never been a driver that wants a mentor,” said Patrick. “But I am always encouraging people to find what it is they are passionate about and love and that is what is going to give them the ability to persevere through the hard times and have that chance for greatness.

“Whether they are a guy or girl, whether they want to be a race car driver or an astronaut, it’s about finding what it is that you love.”

Patrick understood early on what it would take to survive in the high-testosterone macho world of motorsport.

She did not want to be labeled a “woman” driver but did not want people to forget it either.

FILE PHOTO: IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick during Carb Day practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, May 25, 2018. Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

For a while Patrick’s racy photo shoots, including appearances in two Sports Illustrated swim suit editions, drew as much attention as her driving.

PATRICK’S STORYLINE

From the start Patrick had a firm grasp of exactly what her storyline was and used it to build her brand.

“I’m here largely because I am woman,” she said. “I don’t want people to forget that I am a girl, I don’t think they really can, and I don’t want them to because it is part of my story.

“It’s what put me here in this position today and has given me all the opportunities I have had, at least in part.”

Just 5-foot 2-inches and 100 pounds, the diminutive driver asked for no quarter and offered none.

At the 2007 Milwaukee Mile, unhappy about a late race encounter with the late Dan Wheldon, Patrick climbed out of her car and marched down the pit lane where she confronted the Briton, grabbed him by the arm and then shoved him.

“You can’t be a pushover in your job and I can’t be a pushover in mine,” said Patrick. “If you want to climb the ladder and do great things you have to believe in you and get people to believe in you.

“You have to be sure of what you want.”

Win or lose on Sunday, Patrick will exit having won the respect of everyone up and down pit lane.

“She’s been carrying the flag for the female drivers in IndyCar and she certainly belongs there,” Sebastian Bourdais, a past IndyCar champion and Formula One driver told Reuters. “She proved that she belongs in IndyCar.

“I hope for sure she will have a good last race.”

The post Patrick road to retirement ends at Indy 500 appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2LwDtI0 via Today News

[party-hard-or-die]

Patrick road to retirement ends at Indy 500

INDIANAPOLIS (Reuters) – As far as retirement parties go it is doubtful there has been one bigger than the bash that will be thrown for Danica Patrick when the ‘Queen of Speed’ ends her career on Sunday at the Indianapolis 500.

FILE PHOTO: Verizon IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick gets ready to get in her car during practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S., May 15, 2018. Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

As many as 300,000 plus spectators are expected to fill the grandstands of the sprawling 2.5 mile oval for the ‘Greatest Spectacle in Racing’ and many of those will be there to say goodbye to motorsport’s most celebrated woman driver.

The only woman to win an IndyCar race and start from pole at the Daytona 500, the 36-year-old American announced last November that she had reached the end of the road and would bring the curtain down on her ground-breaking career with the “Danica Double” contesting the Daytona and Indy 500s.

As far as swansongs go, February’s Daytona 500 was a bust, ending in a wreck, but the Indy 500 holds out the promise of something special.

During a 14-year career, evenly split between IndyCar and NASCAR, it was the Indy 500 that provided most of the material for Patrick’s career highlights reel and made her one of North America’s most recognizable athletes.

Her third-place finish in 2009 remains the best result by a woman in the Indy 500 while her resume also includes coming fourth in 2005 on her rookie debut and sixth in 2006.

A fierce and fearless competitor, Patrick has also led 29 laps at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway another high water mark for women drivers.

“What I will remember most will be my first Indy 500 and, God, I hope I will remember my last one even more,” Patrick told Reuters, rating her Indy 500 debut ahead of her 2008 win at Motegi. “That would be my goal.

“But the first Indy 500 is what I will remember most, the most defining time in my career and the most fond memories.”

FILE PHOTO: Verizon IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick (13) drives into turn one during practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S., May 17, 2018. Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

GIRL POWER

For a time Girl Power was all the rage at the Brickyard, with four women sprinkled through the 33-car starting grids in 2010, 2011 and 2013.

But this year Patrick, back in her trademark GoDaddy electric green Chevrolet, will carry the flag alone.

While standard bearer is a familiar role for Patrick, it is not one she embraces. Rather than being an advocate for women’s causes, Patrick prefers to inspire.

She says when it came to racing she never sought out mentors nor does she want the job.

“I’ve never been a driver that wants a mentor,” said Patrick. “But I am always encouraging people to find what it is they are passionate about and love and that is what is going to give them the ability to persevere through the hard times and have that chance for greatness.

“Whether they are a guy or girl, whether they want to be a race car driver or an astronaut, it’s about finding what it is that you love.”

Patrick understood early on what it would take to survive in the high-testosterone macho world of motorsport.

She did not want to be labeled a “woman” driver but did not want people to forget it either.

FILE PHOTO: IndyCar Series driver Danica Patrick during Carb Day practice for the 102nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana, May 25, 2018. Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports/File Photo

For a while Patrick’s racy photo shoots, including appearances in two Sports Illustrated swim suit editions, drew as much attention as her driving.

PATRICK’S STORYLINE

From the start Patrick had a firm grasp of exactly what her storyline was and used it to build her brand.

“I’m here largely because I am woman,” she said. “I don’t want people to forget that I am a girl, I don’t think they really can, and I don’t want them to because it is part of my story.

“It’s what put me here in this position today and has given me all the opportunities I have had, at least in part.”

Just 5-foot 2-inches and 100 pounds, the diminutive driver asked for no quarter and offered none.

At the 2007 Milwaukee Mile, unhappy about a late race encounter with the late Dan Wheldon, Patrick climbed out of her car and marched down the pit lane where she confronted the Briton, grabbed him by the arm and then shoved him.

“You can’t be a pushover in your job and I can’t be a pushover in mine,” said Patrick. “If you want to climb the ladder and do great things you have to believe in you and get people to believe in you.

“You have to be sure of what you want.”

Win or lose on Sunday, Patrick will exit having won the respect of everyone up and down pit lane.

“She’s been carrying the flag for the female drivers in IndyCar and she certainly belongs there,” Sebastian Bourdais, a past IndyCar champion and Formula One driver told Reuters. “She proved that she belongs in IndyCar.

“I hope for sure she will have a good last race.”

The post Patrick road to retirement ends at Indy 500 appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2LwDtI0 via Breaking News