#emotionally I'm still here
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#emotionally I'm still here#state opening of parliament 2023#kciii#queen camilla#pomp and circumstance
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"No matter what the future holds, we'll face it together, TK."
#I'M STILL HERE#sobbing because look at themmmmm#these two would die without each other do you hear me!!!!! It's soulmates physics!!!!#it was so emotionally redeeming that carlos got an actual on screen moment of acknowledging coming to terms with being a father on his own.#before TK. just a moment of autonomy between him and his dad — the person that all of this revolves around in the first place — it's a good#confirmation that carlos is not doing this forced or as a favor for TK for the sake of not losing him#911 lone star#tarlos#911ls#5x09#fall from grace#tk strand#carlos reyes#tarlos edit#911lsedit
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I LOVE Teen Stan and Ford, it’s sad they don’t get drawn enough, so thank you so much!
Does Ford ever help Stan when he gets overstimulated? Or maybe when he has a rage response and suddenly starts crying and calls himself stupid?
Here's the other post with Ford
#I am once again asking someone to write me a fic about these two posts. pretty please 🥺#this took me way too long to think off#the dialogue was escaping me#if you can guess what the book he's reading is... you won't win anything I just think it would be cool#maybe Stan got upset about his grades. or a boxing match ir something#sometimes I too bite myself. not deep enough to draw blood but enough to bruise. it's gotten better over the tears but still#now and then...#anywayszzzzzzzz#ask#anonymous#gravity falls#stan pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#ford pines#teen stan#teen ford#art#fanart#traditional art#watercolor#the last few drawings came out so nicely#both of them are emotionally constipated in their teen years (and onwards honestly) so instead of addressing the crying they ignore it#they pretend it never happened#btw here you can see my (successful) attempt at putting Ford out of the picture so I don't have to draw more#comic#long post#look at their socks#I forgot the 's' in 'books' I'm so stupid god
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oh love i'm sorry if i smothered you
#iwtvedit#iwtv#interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire spoilers#iwtv spoilers#armand#loumand#lesmand#lyrics from smother by the band daughter#my toxic gifmaker trait is incorporating that one shot of armand's face at sacre coeur in every conceivable set. sue me#anyway. i'm still HERE. emotionally.
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something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something
anyway here's the post btw
#what if post dp3 logan struggles to emotionally accept that wade Will Actually For Real Survive Anything#and one time they are fighting some random baddies#and they somehow get in a few shots straight to wade's cranium and he drops like a bag of slutty slutty potatoes#and logan goes full berserker trying to get to him#like he just massacres everyone in his way and wade still isnt getting up ohnoohnoohnonotagainohno#(healing factor or no a few direct shots to the brain stem/t box take a bit to recover from)#(no more than five minutes but it's an eternity to logan)#and his heart sinks to the very core of the earth as he kneels down next to wade's body#and his hands are shaking and soaked in blood and he can't seem to sheathe his claws in his dazed adrenalined state#he tries to peel back wade's mask and fear is just *pounding* through his system because in that moment#all he can see are the xmen dead in massive pools of blood#and that feeling of unreality is rushing over him like thiscantbehappeningthiscantbehappeningnotagainohgodnotagain#wade's still and unresponsive and there is so Much BLOOD (hard to tell how much is Wade's and how much is just on his hands)#and logan doesn't even realize he's crying until suddenly wade's eyes light up like a computer restarting#and he's smiling and gasping and joking immediately#“well howdy there hot stuff what did I miss?”#and then he clocks that logan is Not Okay#“... well gee willikers golly goddamn peanut 'twas only a flesh wound! no need to go all waterworks over lil ol me”#“you know it would take a helluva lot more than that to make me shuffle off this here mortal coil!”#“see all better I'm hunky dory peachy keen right as fucking rain”#“I mean cmon I can't have been out for more than five minutes so let's just go back to you being exasperated with my bullshit antics okay??#“...okay sugarboobs? snookums? babycakes?.... Logan?”#and they just sit there on the floor holding each other for a while#wade babbling and logan crying about everything he's lost and wondering distantly how he has come to care so much#about this blithering jokester in like barely a week#that the thought of losing him brought him crashing back to the worst memory of his extremely rough life#anyway that's enough tag mini fic lolol I'm having feelings about my own drawing I guess 😵#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine art
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do you guys think. that mb in the months proceeding the leonard betts/never again/memento mori trifecta, there was a time where scully got a nosebleed around mulder and they both thought nothing of it?
do you think scully had written it off as dry air or seasonal allergies and mulder had taken her at her word and just handed her some tissues and made a joke about not getting blood on the files?
do you think that after he learns about her cancer, he thinks back to that nosebleed in their office and wonders "if only i had said something, then maybe she would have gotten her diagnosis sooner," as if he'd have had any reason to ever suspect that a simple nosebleed could be a sign of something so dire and lethal?
do you think that, late at night, when the insomnia is at its worst (mb when scully is rly sick and his mind won't let him fall asleep bc what if she needs him and he misses the call?), he traces back every interaction they've had since she got her chip removed, using his eidetic memory to analyze every moment where she might have shown signs of illness? every moment he might have missed, because he hadn't been paying close enough attention, WHY had he not been paying close enough attention, he's a psychologist, damnit, a behavioral profiler, the best one in the violent crimes unit--if he can write up a profile of a killer he's never met that's right on the money beat-for-beat, then there's no excuse for him missing the subtle changes in the most important person in the world to him
do you think he remembers a random tuesday morning when she came in late because she had woken up with a killer headache and wonders "was that headache because she had done back-to-back autopsies the day before without enough food or water, or was that the tumor starting to grow?"
do you think he remembers stopping by the convenience store in a rural town in kansas to grab her a box of dramamine because she said she was kind of dizzy, and at the time he'd not given it a second thought, because sometimes she got motion sickness on turbulent planes or riding passenger seat in a rental car down winding dirt roads, but now he wonders if that dizziness had been a sign of something more sinister?
do you think he remembers the two of them laughing off a bloody nose and then going back to bickering about this or that like nothing had happened, and wonders that if he had questioned it then, would it have saved her?
do you think that's just another thing he adds to his pile of guilt, because even though she's the last person he ever wants to see harmed, she keeps getting hurt anyway, and he believes it's always, ALWAYS, because of him?
do you think, when he sees her nose bleed now, he blames himself?
anyway
#bro i'm on episode 11 of s2#this rewatch is still miles from the cancer arc#and yet#here we already are#this is going to be#an emotionally taxing television experience#msr#txf#the x-files#diz spouts conspiracies
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the theme throughout lotr of sam following frodo anywhere, until he can't
#but even then he still does!!!#emotionally devastating#lotr#samfrodo#frodo baggins#samwise gamgee#when i re-read lotr recently i went through it with certain themes in mind and collected the relevant quoted and i'm just trying to keep it#all together here on my blog for future reference 👍
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to be quite honest shadow's characterization in the fsa manga was always something that raised more questions than answers for me because it's like. he's got a mile-wide inferiority complex about being link's shadow we all know this but when did he have the time to develop that inferiority complex in the first place. how long was he lurking around after ganon created him before the events of the manga actually started. what did he witness or hear or both to make him so fucking angry
#that one post that went like 'what if you were the evil clone. what if you looked in the mirror and the brightness blinded you. what if you#saw exactly how good you could've been.' i reblogged it here a while ago but that's still the number one post i attribute to shadow#it's zelda telling him that he's a link too that spurs him to sacrifice himself. it's green telling him that he's one of them that#spurs him to finally reach towards the light. it was vio double-crossing him and verbally twisting the knife that made him so angry#that he slipped up and the four of them could finally land a hit in the first place. all this to say that shadow (like link) is extremely#emotionally-driven. for him to develop such a deep complex about being a shadow he HAD to have experienced some form of diminution#whether that diminution came from ganon himself or from potentially stalking link for a bit before shit went down#and understanding that all the things link possessed—comrades to count on (the knights). a loving father. a dear friend in zelda. a home.#a place to belong. were all things that he would never possess himself by the sheer virtue of being link's shadow instead of link himself.#i'm personally inclined to think it was a combination of both but WHATEVER it was my point is that it had to be SOMETHING.#he wouldn't have such a complex about it otherwise.#fsa#txt#four swords#<-yeah sure i'll main tag this
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there's something sadly funny about the way that Kaladin goes into literally every situation thinking "Too bad I'm not cool anymore 😔"
I mean. I get it. Depression fucks your brain up and you feel detached from yourself and any skills you have or had. The PTSD and chronic fatigue are keeping him from doing things he once managed with far less effort. And it's rather impossible to feel like you can just... do things like you used to when you're struggling at a basic level to simply be.
Still, literally everyone who knows him is like "Kaladin you're so storming cool" and he goes "They're referring to the person I was, who is dead. I'll never be cool again. I'm sorry."
The most hilarious thing? He walks into these moments, thinking 'too bad', and then he does the most objectively amazing thing possible while everyone else just watches in awe.
Kaladin, three seconds after absolutely changing everyone's outlook on life: Aw, it's too bad the person I just was died again. Guess I have to find something else to be cuz I sure can't pull that off anymore.
#this ramble brought to you by the scene near the end of ROW where Kal is about to defend the last node and is like#“would be cool if I was here. too bad I'm dead. I'll try to pretend one last time”#meanwhile everyone adores him just for still trying. still daring to fight.#I guess the point is you're not dead and you're not useless and you're not failing to measure up as long as you're still fighting#Just Brando writing writing painfully accurate mental illness as usual#kaladin is fr me every time someone says something nice about a fic I've written#I act like it was a one time thing and I'll never pull it off again#me three hours after publishing a fic: yes thank you but it's too bad I don't think I'll ever write again. I know.#like oh you were emotionally impacted? what a funny coincidence; I'm sorry for tricking you into believing in me; that was rude of me#meanwhile the 509k ao3 word count and repeat readers: 💀#kaladin stormblessed#stormlight archive#stormlight archive reread#rhythm of war reread
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me: we are Not going to worsen our life while in a minor depressive episode
the brain: :/
#two things i will now overshare about in the tags:#the number and severity of symptoms i am exhibiting that indicate uhhhhhh#an anxiety disorder that i Don't have. don't want to have please. i fear this.#anyway I'm getting outnumbered. but i am still convinced I'm making it up so anyway#2. bro when u catch a glimpse of ur friends on social media#and the lives they're living and their successes and accomplishments#and ur like damn. yall living out here ?#(and also like. damn. yall feel like u deserve to celebrate yourselves?)#(yall don't feel like a horrible dessicated corpse most of the time emotionally?)#yall is not part of my vernacular i feel the need to say this#hurgle says things#2024 was supposed to be my mentally well year. who the fuck is this#like my depression we are chill i know her. we talk we discuss. we're okay#this new beast though who has been festering in here. i want her to move out............#but i think she might have already set up all her furniture...... and I'm hiding in my room#do u get my metaphors#anyway I'm fine bc I'm used to living like this but i am. unwell.
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do u think that um. yk Julian was having a rough time in the later seasons. and ofc he wants to talk abt it, wants someone to help him process it, wants someone to just listen. but it's not easy to talk abt. and he wants to talk to Garak, wants Garak to know what's going on in his life, wants to be vulnerable and be met with support and care. but Garak is so emotionally unavailable and so unwilling to break his pleasant facade and so unwilling to deviate from their little social script. he was taught never to show care or vulnerability. and Julian gets so tired of playing their little game when, god, there's a war going on, his life is falling apart, can't Garak even acknowledge how bad things are for both of them? he doesn't need witty retorts, he needs sincerity. and Garak can't give him that. so he withdraws from their friendship. and it's not that Garak doesn't care. it's not that he doesn't want to help. but sincerity and vulnerability were beaten out of him a long time ago, and he doesn't know how to take off his mask. even just acknowledging genuine emotion is practically impossible for him. and maybe that's why ASIT is the apology that it is. it's saying, here, I've learned to be honest, I've learned to be vulnerable. I know the harm I caused you by refusing to acknowledge pain, so here's a whole book of me acknowledging pain.
#this is entirely projection idk if this is at all supported by the text#for the record I am garak here. gosh who knew it could hurt the ppl u love when u refuse to be emotionally vulnerable at all?#god I don't know. it's so hard. how do I look someone in the eyes and say I care. I love you. I want you to be okay. tell me what's wrong#I don't know how to deviate from the pleasant little social script we've rehearsed so many times#even when I know it's all a facade. when we're both refusing to acknowledge the emotional undercurrent of it all.#I want to help you. but that would require me to confront the impossibly big feelings I have abt it. and I can't. I just can't#I'm sorry#sigh. god knows if garak can overcome his repression then I can too. give me another few years. if you're still alive by then#ok to rb LMAO#narcissus's echoes#ds9
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I blacked out and more Logince HS AU appeared on my canvas idk what happened (also ty @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat for some inspiration sorry it took so long to make a post about Them <3)
#spoondoodles#sanders sides#sanders sides fanart#ts sides#tss#logan sanders#roman sanders#patton sanders#remus sanders#janus sanders#logince#I am here!!! for the platonic relationships!!!!! in this AU!!!!!!!#i have a strong character arc in my head about platonic logicality growing up together as childhood friends you have no idea asdfghj#i think they were very dependent on each other for many years so much so they'd copy each other but they're much more independent in HS#only remnant of that is that they have the same glasses + emotionally vent to each other a lot - their friends circle has grown enough#they don't live in each others' pockets anymore. roman + janus met in theatre + are gossip besties like they just talk shit together#(not completely sold on janus' design yet ngl i'm not happy with how i drew the vitilego but i'm working on it)#remus + logan are partners in chemistry in a classic teacher act of putting the 'disruptive' kid next to the 'good student' kid in hopes#that logan would stop remus acting out. predictably what happened instead is that they're friends now + remus is still as disruptive#but in a way that entertains logan so they get their work done early. now the teacher can't separate them. lol lmao.#remus knows ALL. but has been sworn to secrecy so can't say shit. janus knows roman's feelings but only suspects logan's.#patton didn't even have to be told by logan he just KNEW + is choosing not to speculate on roman's feelings b/c he's too polite.#virgil isn't here but that's b/c he also KNOWS without being told + is in an even more precarious position than remus. if they were#on better speaking terms he'd commiserate with remus. alas they are suffering separately.#anyway enough rambling from me. many thoughts head full.
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I think that people in the fandom trying to overexplain stuff to justify devs' decision to reduce worldstate choices to a mere handful is becoming a bit.. unnecessary
"It's northern Thedas, how many of your previous choices actually matter there?" I'm pretty sure the majority of us do realize it but that's not the point. Sure, we can attribute any mindset to a recurring NPC to not overshare because your Rook is a stranger to them, but I think it's getting a bit ridiculous because again, the logic of it or plausability is not the point... any recurring character in inquisition could've not shared anything about their personal life by that logic but my question is, would that be fun though? Like, the majority of theories or "imagines" or possible explanations I've read sound plausible and make sense, but it's not fun, and it can flatten characters, and it certainly doesn't make it feel like the previous choices matter... in a game series where your choices should matter. Well, some of them.
I get it though, maybe it's some form of damage control/trying to calm people down. The fandom does need to chill a bit plus some people are really going too far (let's not send death threats to devs please), but overall, I think people are just… mourning in a way (or rather processing) and expressing their disappointment, which is fair. I certainly feel that.
#we're not even talking about anything extraordinary. like some lines are not that hard to implement nor do they alienate newer players#i was fine with what dai had to offer and THAT was considered little. now we have even less than that#i'm pretty sure people are still gonna play the game despite that tho. i definitely am#and even if they aren't ... it's okay too alright?#it might sound controversial but i think it's okay for people to be angry and express their anger (again not in form of death threats)#it's a video game sure and it shouldn't be that serious but come on let's not emotionally repress ourselves and do copium too hard#it's never been sunshine and rainbows here and it never will be#dragon age#txttag#da posting#datv critical#bioware critical
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so, I just saw seeing red for the first time. I thought I was prepared for what I was getting into? I wasn't. definitely had to take a break after that episode... wow. I can see why it had the actors getting therapy cause it left me shaking just after simply watching it. I can also see how that episode could completely turn someone against spike/spuffy. I adore spike but uh for once in my life I did not enjoy seeing him on my screen at all after that
#I'm usually really NOT affected by these sorts of things in my media y'know?#it really caught me off-guard how upset I was after the bathroom scene#you never hear buffy like that. very very rarely do you hear her THAT distressed if ever at all#like I think if it weren't for smg's acting I wouldn't have really cared that much#I mean character-story wise yes but me emotionally sitting there no I wouldn't have cared#but her pleading with him to stop is like still rattling around the inside of my head#I have a headache cause it's so loud in here haha it's making it hard to sleep#I tried describing the scene to my friends and I couldn't get the words out. that is crazy! I never have trouble speaking like that!#anyways. I hope I never have to watch that episode again#or at least I'll have to skip that scene if I'm not watching with someone new#also just to throw in my two cents I don't think that was ooc at all uhm it was just fucking awful to watch#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…
They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…
…and closer…
……until..................
"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.
"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.
"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…
#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not#because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly
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Me, watching Dan and Phil's new video: Oh cool! An upload on my birthday! 😃
Me: Oh wow, this game looks like fun! Hmm, there probably won't be any Volt--
*Voltron flashes across the screen*
Me: OH FUCK--
#i was jupscared by one of my favorite fandoms 😅🤣☠️#me seeing it: oh no oh no oh no no no no no#but also: oooooooo my faves!!#i'm still emotionally recovering from season 8 i wasn’t ready for a spontanious logo flash before my eyes#anyway#dan and phil#dip and pip#dnp#dan and phil games#dnpgames#dnpg#dan howell#phil lester#amazingphil#voltron#voltron: legendary defender#vld#never expected to use those sets of tags together but here we are lmao
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