#emh crew you are so powerful

[icarrymany]

sorry im insane but oh my god. "hey guys u know the slenderverse project we are making?? LETS PUT ANIMAL COLLECTIVE IN IT!" like beee soooo frrrrrr thats hilarious

[mellohd]

EMH Marble Hornets AU!!

ok i know im not creative when it comes to aus but i thought itd be interesting to tell the story of MH through EMH’s story? IF YOU GUYS HAVE THOUGHTS OR QUESTIONS PLS LEAVE SOME IN MY INBOX!!! :-]( or even questions for the MH!EMH characters heh)1

Basically its just marble hornets told through EMH, for example instead of “tapes i found” story telling theyd open a youtube channel for tips and tricks on making your own movie while they make their own called Marble Hornets! EMH/MLA spoilersish up ahead

Heres the character correspondences:

Alex-> Jeff

Jay-> Vinnie

Tim-> Evan

Brian-> Michael!MLA

Jess-> Alex!EMH

Amy ->Jeffs GF(so sorry i forgot her name 😭)

“Masky”->Habit(which makes sense depending on the theories you go with for either series)

“Hoody”->Patrick (same as the last one)

Characters in cant figure out an association with:

Steph, Jess(Evans bestfriend) Shaun So they might just not have a place in this story idk

Since Mlanderson and EMH are in the same universe i thought id make Brian the Michael/Patrick of this story, except more involved. Instead of their being a shaun i think id like Brian to just go to MH crew, if ykwim. I did this cause the only other character i thought could fit Brian was Alex!EMH and I didnt like that.

My take on Masky is that hes just a more aware Tim, not a separate being (tho i do like to think of it that way for fun sometimes ha ha). Masky in my mind was in a battle against the operators control and was ultimately trying to help Jay. I think Masky would br Habit in this series cause of the theory that Habit is one of the first few iterations of Evan, thats why theyre similar and so compatible etc if you know the theory you know. That does mean that Tim isnt gonna act all ha ity, just more erratic i think, i havent gone tooooooo far into a characterization(or even a name) for Emh!MH Habit yet

“Hoody” I see as just brian and he was just disguising himself. in this au “Hoody” would be patrick. Let me explain,

Frim what i gathetef through my second watch of EMH and, my first of MLA , patrick is just Michael but remembers every single iteration, hes a similar being to Habit, thats why he has powers ig? Look i havent gotten too far into theories fir MLA the fandom is so dead i never see any 😭😭. I dont want to get to far into theories on other series anyways cause rhis is about my AU so ANYYYYWAYS i think brian would fit that its just brians story doesnt fit entirely with Michael, actually Tim would probably fit more now that i think about it. Oh god now im thinking of switching them again uhm wtv

I think the rest of the correspondences make sense if you think about it a bit. Jay as Vinnie makes sense to me because of boths compulsive need for answers even though its destructive to those around them. Jay wouldnt be as much as a villain in this like vinnie is (or maybe i havent decided muahaha). I also thought they fit cause they both do that weird thing where they constatly have to document everything.

I thought tim eould fit Evan just cause of the whole habit arc.

Alex as Jeff was more of a fill a role thing that eventually made sense to me. I did think of making him Evan and Tim Jeff, and im still thinking of doing this, but i thought the whole finding the gf arc would fit alex more. Alex would still be one of the villains i think. Like i said this would be marble hornets told through EMH lol. I might even switch it up and assign a habit type role to Alex instead and there be two patrick characters who knows!

As you can tell im still thinking this through so maybe mext post i make about this will be more solid. if youre interested to talk about this kore with me(obv my inbox) or i have a slenderverse discord i made with my friend heh tik tok smug emoji. come join if youre looking for more slenderverse friends(and if youre interested in darkharvest and mla especially cause i need more people to talk about that to 😭😭)

[sneakypeddler]

struck with the sudden inspiration to write an EMH story about the next iteration after the series ends.

Never written fanfic in my life but hear me out ok

the EMH iteration ends with Vinny realizing he's the Voyeur and putting down the camera so progress is already being made for slenderman to be weaker in the next loop. Also, the Godkiller knife exists now and despite Habit's intentions for it, if it can kill "unstoppable" Evan it can probably kill slenderman too.

So once the newly iterated gang becomes aware of the story again, they have to get back to the cabin and retrieve the knife. Not sure exactly what HABIT will be up to but its made clear in the end of the series that his goal is aligned with the crew, he wants to end the cycle. Since he accomplished his goal of making Vinny confront the fact that he was perpetuating it by being the Voyeur, he probably takes a backseat this time around, maybe guiding the crew a bit or acting as an unreliable mentor figure but widely just sitting back and letting the gang do the work for him.

Because of this, I think it would be cool if the cabin property where the knife is was deteriorating and fucked up all timey-wimey style since it can be assumed to be HABIT's domain and he's not upkeeping it anymore. Wacky teleporting, spooky ambience, the whole nine yards, could be a great setpiece.

Also Jeff survives this time becauss Vinny isn't a snake and HABIT doesn't have an agenda so all three boys can fight together. I also think Steph wouldn't reiterate since she isn't shown in the candleverse scenes at the end of the last cycle. My best guess as to why in-universe is because she managed to effectively write herself out by blocking slenderman out so much mentally in her last life. That's for sure how he operates according to Michael (I think) in the Princeton Tapes.

I think it would also be cool if we see the crew in a kind of 'enlightened state' similar to Corenthal where they can jump in and out of the 'monster sanctuary' and are more aware of what's going on outside the current cycle, similar to the candleverse crew from the morse code videos. This would be because they have a leg up on slenderman's power now since they're effectively "off the grid" and not recording anything which, again, is how slenderman gets his power: from spreading the word.

If we want to get really pedantic the story could be told in past tense after slenderman is killed (assuming they're successful) since any form of documentation during the fact would potentially strengthen him.

WHAT IDEAS DO YOU HAVE? IS THIS ANYTHING? I demand to hear your ideas

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Kathryn Janeway

By Ames

Finally, we’ve made it to the Delta Quadrant in A Star to Steer Her By’s character spotlight series, as we turn our focus to the crew from Voyager. And who better to start us off than our intrepid Intrepid-class leader, Captain Kathryn Janeway? She stalwartly leads the crew through uncharted space, wheels and deals with new alien species, kicks countless asses, and drinks copious amounts of coffee. What’s not to like?

Well, some things, as you’ll see below in our patented list of all Janeway’s Best and Worst Moments throughout the series (and beyond!). What’s in the Delta Quadrant doesn’t actually stay in the Delta Quadrant, you see. So count the number of times Janeway self-destructs the ship as you read on below and listen to our countdown timer over on this week’s podcast episode (T-minus 57:33). There’s coffee in this blogpost!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Ralkana? He said you’d been shot. One of the early gems of Voyager is “Resistance,” and Kate Mulgrew is on high display throughout. When she comes to understand Caylem’s tragic history, Janeway embraces his cause with compassion and empathy. And when the poor, senile man is dying and continues to mistake her for his daughter, Janeway lets him believe his delusions because they’re all he has.

Hello. I’m Captain Kathryn Janeway. Welcome to the Bridge. We joke a lot on A Star to Steer Her By that Janeway’s go-to tactic is self-destructing the ship. And she gets to actually carry that through for the first (but not last) time in “Deadlock,” taking out a whole bunch of Vidiians with her. Lucky for us, a spare Voyager crew (including a bonus Harry and Naomi) are saved as a result, since any other time it’s a trick you can only pull once.

There’s nothing to fear… except Kathryn Janeway Throughout the sensory-overload nightmare fuel that is “The Thaw,” Fear the Clown torments the people within his holo-environment until he crosses paths with Captain Janeway and she proves to be the most cold-blooded of them all. She cleverly tricks him into releasing the hostages before ripping the rug out from under him with the reveal that she isn’t really there.

You’re part of a family now, and you have obligations Watching the crew become more of a family as the seasons progress is a highlight of Voyager, and the way Janeway comes to trust Neelix is lovely to watch. In “Macrocosm,” she makes him an ambassador, and an episode later in “Fair Trade,” her “you’re part of our family” speech when Neelix admits to feeling like he no longer has a purpose on the ship proves how she values him.

Time’s up Not only is “Year of Hell” one of the best two-parters in all of Star Trek, but it also has yet another instance of Janeway destroying the ship! She takes it upon herself to save her crew from the Krenim and their very pretty, very powerful timeship by plowing what’s left of the Voyager directly into that sucker. And she even gets a great sendoff line to go with it!

For what it’s worth, you made a tempting offer If we’ve learned anything from the first several seasons, it’s don’t cross Janeway or she will double-, triple-, or quadruple-cross you right back. Evidently, no one clued in Kashyk in “Counterpoint” because he tries to use her to find a wormhole and nab some telepaths, but she’s been prepared for that the whole time. Pity, the two of them were almost cute together.

I’m a little busy right now, helping a friend It takes her quite a while (most of the series even), but Janeway slowly makes steps to accepting the EMH as people. By “Latent Image,” she’s agreed to let him process his trauma, even though it would be much easier to deal with if she just erased it (again) like the program he is. She even sits with him while he has existential crisis after existential crisis.

Her Royal Highness, Arachnia, Queen of the Spiderpeople! As far as comedy episodes go, “Bride of Chaotica!” is one of our favorites. You can tell everyone’s having so much fun, especially Kate Mulgrew as she throws herself fully into the over-the-top role of Queen Arachnia. Janeway pretending to be a B-movie villainess is just candy to watch, and she saves the invaders from the fifth dimension. All in a day’s work!

I make a better you than you Jake thinks he’s very funny in making me include this one on the Janeway list, but here we go. So Dala in “Live Fast and Prosper” isn’t really Janeway, but she does make cunning deals and schemes with the best of them. And hell, the bonafide Janeway delivers as well by foiling her counterpart’s dastardly plans and throwing her in the brig where she belongs.

I’ll start my own Federation, with blackjack and hookers When the Voyager is stuck in the titular void from “The Void,” everyone’s begging to resort to piracy – it just looks so fun! – but Janeway puts her foot down. Despite being so far from home, she has tried her darndest to unhold Starfleet ideals, and starting her own miniature Federation is her way of showing that people are better when they work together. Void friends forever!

Must’ve been something you assimilated While I could pick on Admiral Janeway for breaking the Temporal Prime Directive in “Endgame,” I’m just too impressed by how she so thoroughly owns the Borg Queen. She knows diplomacy won’t get her anywhere with the Borg, so she lets herself get assimilated to pass on a neurolytic pathogen that takes out the whole collective and saves Voyager!

Set your compass to Starfleet Finally, we’ve been pretty forthright about our love for Star Trek: Prodigy, and Admiral Janeway really gets some great moments to chew the CGI scenery. In the season one finale, “Supernova,” she stands up for the Protostar crew, especially sticking her neck out for Dal in a way that is so pure and supportive that you root for the whole group. We're so excited to watch season two when it’s up on Netflix!

—

Worst moments

And if you win you get this shiny banjo made of gold What the whole series boils down to is the long journey to get home from the Delta Quadrant… but it’s kinda Janway’s fault they’re stuck there in the first place due to her needlessly selfless actions in “Caretaker.” And then there are countless opportunities to get home after that that she squanders to uphold Starfleet rules. Who’s gonna know, Janeway?

The Trolley Problem solution for maximum murder Probably the most infamous action Janeway takes is the murder of Tuvix in the eponymous “Tuvix.” Sure, it’s to get two crewmembers back, and I’ve heard that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one, but it is straight-up cruel the way she forces Tuvix to medbay against his will, kicking and screaming the whole way that he wants to live.

I couldn’t help it, said the scorpion. It’s my nature. Boy, does Janeway know how to put her crew in needless danger by making snap decisions and then arguing about them a lot (a lot) with Chakotay. Her decision to team up with the Borg in “Scorpion” against the newly introduced Species 8472 is frankly insane. There’s no reasoning with Borg, lady. I’m with Chakotay on this one: you can only trust a scorpion to sting you.

You must comply In “Scorpion,” Janeway promises to return Seven to the collective when they finish the whole Species 8472 thing, but instead Janeway straight up kidnaps the poor drone and makes the decision to deprogram her in “The Gift” like the cult victim Seven is. It’s all entirely against Seven’s wishes and a little uncomfortable to watch because our new Borg has no agency yet.

Get down with your bad self Okay, Jake is being a pill again and insists we include Janeway’s fictional counterpart from “Living Witness” using biogenic weapons against the Kyrians. And yeah, it’s not actually Janeway – it’s a purely fabricated story the Kyrians concocted for their biased history program – but ya know what: I love how diabolical and ruthless this Janeway is so much that I’ll include it.

I’ll be benefiting from other people’s suffering Even more uncomfortable than watching Janeway force individuality on Seven is watching Janeway straight up ignore the DNR from Torres in “Nothing Human.” We sorta get that Seven can’t make her own decisions because she’s essentially a cult victim, but Torres is of sound mind when she refuses to accept surgery from Crell Moset and Janeway won’t hear it.

Sit in the corner and think about what you did We did a whole other blogpost about when it’s a good idea to break or uphold the Prime Directive after watching “Thirty Days.” Janeway refuses to let Tom save the Moneans and throws him in the brig for a month for trying to help them. It’s inconsistent to say the least when captains decide to hide behind the almighty Prime Directive, and Janeway is the biggest offender.

You’re malfunctioning, and you need to be repaired We praised Janeway a moment ago about how she respects the Doctor’s agency in “Latent Image,” but all through the series leading up to that, she struggles to think of him as a sapient person. It’s revealed in this episode that she’d ordered his memories of Jetal wiped as a way to deal with his trauma – something she’d surely never do to one of her solid crew members.

The Handbook on Personal Relationships is three centimeters thick Season 5 is well represented in this list, and you’d think that after that long, Janeway would have a modicum of respect for her forever ensign, Harry Kim. But in “The Disease,” she sets a double standard out of nowhere that crew members can’t bang aliens without permission. Hello? Janeway, everyone has already broken that, not just Harry, your special little boy.

Every captain gets a little torture as a treat! We get to watch Janeway go full Captain Ahab on the Equinox crew in “Equinox.” She hunts down Ransom like he’s her white whale. She tortures Lessing for information. And then she fires Chakotay for doing his job of being the most moral character in the room. It all feels out of character, but that’s kinda the point because this is what the Delta Quadrant pushes people to.

Delete the wife Speaking of seeming out of character. In “Fair Haven,” Janeway designs herself a holo-boyfriend and then falls head-over-heels in love with it. We fully support the captain going and getting holo-laid, especially since it’s unethical to bang her subordinates, but she should know better that this guy is just a sex toy and not a real person – she did program him that way!

Two Janeways are better than one There’s a whole new meaning to arguing with yourself in “Endgame.” Turns out, Admiral Janeway originally doesn’t want to wreck up the Borg as we gave her credit for above, but withholds her plan from her younger self and then tries to pull rank while everyone else is rallying to save millions by taking out the Borg. Ladies, can’t we just work together… to kill Borg!

—

And we’ve finally made it home to the Alpha Quadrant! That’s all from Janeway today, but we’ve got her whole crew to peruse through for the upcoming weeks, so make sure you’re venturing through Voyager with us here, follow along with our Enterprise watchthrough on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, sip some coffee with us over on Facebook and Twitter, and lift your mugs to a toast: to the journey!

[mylittleredgirl]

much more context with an episode list below the poll!

more info below by episode (forgive me in advance if i forgot your favorite doctor-evolution episode) (also forgive me for all the mistakes i will immediately see once i hit post but will be unable to fix because we can't edit poll posts):

season one: "i wasn't programmed for any of this!"

"eye of the needle": after kes starts advocating for him, janeway offers him the power to turn himself off, and he asks for a name.

"heroes and demons": he leaves sickbay for the first time and has his first non-medical mission. he's emotionally affected by freya's death at the end.

season two: "before you, i was just a projection of photons held together by forcefields [...] just a profession, not a life."

"projections": he hallucinates an existential crisis about whether he's a human or a hologram.

"twisted": the doctor spends time recreationally with the crew on the holodeck for the first time (though it's not clear if he enjoys it).

"lifesigns": he falls in love with vidiian doctor danara pel. at first he says his program is malfunctioning, but later believes his programming is adapting instead. he also records his first personal log.

season three: "i'm footloose and fancy-free."

"the swarm": his program starts to degrade because he has been expanding it for hobbies like opera and friendships with the crew. he says his program should be rebooted so he can serve his "primary responsibility," but kes and the others convince him that his memories are important to keep. (factoid: we learn his maximum runtime was supposed to be 1500 hours.)

"future's end": mobile emitter time!!! and his first time off the ship.

"darkling": he starts editing his own program (and it doesn't go well).

"real life": he creates a holo-family for himself.

according to the stardate mentioned in "latent image" (see season five), the flashback part of that episode happens at the very end of season three.

season four: "i believe i've earned the respect of the crew as an equal."

"revulsion": we meet our first delta quadrant hologram (and it doesn't go well). this is the first time we hear about holograms being subjugated by "organics."

"message in a bottle": the doctor meets the EMH-2 and reveals that at some point he programmed himself a dick and had sex.

"living witness": we learn that the doctor has a backup module who seems to have the same emotions and self-awareness as the doctor himself (which i take to mean that whatever sentience is now in his program can be duplicated by copying).

season five: "we gave him a soul. do we have any right to take it away now?"

"latent image": we learn the doctor had a holo-breakdown (off-screen in late season 3) after his ethical subroutines could not reconcile his decision to save harry's life over another patient's. at the time, they determined that erasing some of his memories was the only way to repair him. at the end of the episode, after the doctor and seven both argue for his individual rights, janeway decides to let him work through his guilt rather than deleting his memories again. assuming this ultimately works after the episode ends, it means that he was able to overcome a critical programming conflict through introspection and social support instead of altering his programming.

season six: "haven't I earned the right to self-determination?"

"tinker, tenor, doctor, spy": the doctor formally complains that his sentience is not being acknowledged and argues that he should be allowed to grow his abilities beyond his role as doctor. he also wants his potential to be evaluated based on his holographic nature rather than humanoid limits ("my program can be expanded indefinitely. i don't have limits!").

"blink of an eye": he lives for three years on the time dilation planet and even has a son ("it's a long story").

"virtuoso": he tries to leave the ship to become an opera star, choosing his passion (and his ego) over his originally programmed purpose.

side note: "fair haven" and "spirit folk" are both in season six, and that's the first time that anyone (including the doctor) seems to consider the concept that regular holodeck characters might also have some kind of feelings, personhood, or right to continued existence (unlike in season three, when in "alter ego" it's both a joke and a problem that harry falls in love with a hologram, or in "real life" when the doctor is fine with b'elanna reprogramming his family without consulting them).

season seven: "the doctor exhibits many of the traits we associate with a person [...] but are these traits real, or is the doctor merely programmed to simulate them?"

"critical care": the doctor violates the hippocratic oath in his programming by harming a patient to save others, and it does not trigger the ethical subroutine breakdown he experienced in season 5.

"body and soul": delta quadrant holograms are in revolt. the doctor experiences humanoid pleasures and enjoys them.

"flesh and blood": he betrays voyager to save the hirogen-programmed holograms and (temporarily) leaves the ship to join them, "because i'm one of you."

"author, author": a federation arbiter decides that he's not legally a person, but is "no ordinary hologram" and has some limited rights.

[miminmimikyu]

Prodigy episode 17-18: something something about Janeway knowing since her academy days that she’s wearing a device next to her heart that (with minimal modification) is a bomb. What even was the context for learning that trick : ‘D

Scariest thing in these two episodes might be Janeway saying she might retire to a farm in Indiana now. That's such a death flag even though I know she survives!! Then again, the back of my mind says : "we don't know what she looks like in Picard, so grievous bodily harm isn't off the table.."

Wesley noo, showing up in a room full of angry Vau N’Akat and tell them “stop!” ,that's the plan?

Oh I love it when they put the date on-screen and I can add to my mental timeline. So it's been months since the wormhole was destroyed then?

I knew we could count on young Ascencia to help everyone out!

Oh, my apologies to Wesley.. subjecting yourself to months of torture to trick the enemy into building all the technology you need!!! That was an incredible plan! Not to be a Whovian again but: Doctor coded <3

Zero and Jankom have a right to be angry though, idk if any random crew members on Voyager-A died in that attack but it seems more likely than not. Then again, Wesley did say this path was “without endless suffering” and not “no casualties”. Anyway this plan is definitely going too well…

Ah.

For how much Wesley keeps talking about how “thought” is an incredibly important variable, he couldn’t predict that Gwyn would not leave her father behind. Well, I suppose that even with all those powers Wesley is still human.

(I forget how old Wesley was when his dad died. Maybe he’s so used to not having a dad that that legitimately didn’t occur to him. Because that would be a nice character thing that explains fallibility: he's been away from people too long, now there are some paths that he can't see because it gets harder to factor in other people's thoughts (feelings))

Janeway forgetting her birthday in Year of Hell and getting a present from Chakotay 🤝 Janeway forgetting the anniversary of Voyager’s departure and Chakotay giving her a present <3

How long has it been for Janeway that Chakotay’s was missing? How long has she been searching that she's considering retiring now that she's found him?

“With what you and I’ve been through, it does take patience” does it?? DOES IT??

EMH and Holo Janeway interacting!!!!! That was so sweet! (also so sad, since Holo Janeway is fated to blow herself up before she ever leaves the Protostar ;_;). But if we’re naming differences between Janeway and Holo Janeway liking all his holo novels is probably a big one. Oh, and now the role reversal has made it weird.

Doctor, you say you’re not a covert operative but I’ve seen Renaissance Man.. Notably that also was a story where Captain Janeway was so done with the doc and was veery not on board with socialising with him, so that makes Holo Janeway's admiration even funnier. At least Vice Admiral Janeway is getting along with him better now.

(btw I still don't believe he's on a first-name basis with her, like he implied to the Protostar kids in episode 1. iirc I haven't heard him do that in front of her? but it's so like the doc to play their relationship up to impress some newbies lmao)

(i know it's the fatigue but the novel in progress probably isn't helping)

Is this why there was a callback to Endgame two episodes ago??? Janeway you can’t use the Endgame strategy on her and offer up your brain as bait ,Ascencia probably read your file!!!!

The EMH is doing a Renaissance Man isn’t he? Fuck yeahhh he’s doing a Renaissance Man!!

I love this show, even the Loom get to be portrayed as living, feeling beings by introducing that scared and mistreated one in captivity!!!!!

Well, Ascencia didn't meet Chakotay so unless they have a final showdown I think she really is laser focusing all her Federation hate on Janeway and not giving him a second thought except when taunting Janeway

Oh my heart just grew 3 sizes:

I can’t believe there’s only two episodes left ;_; manifesting Gwyn finally catching a break after 2 series of shouldering all that guilt. Carefree smile time carefree smile time carefree smile time

[femmmie]

I had no idea you liked star trek too, I just knew you for smosh and Dan and Phil. That's so cool!! Would you be willing to write a little ianthony star trek au? Or have you already? No problem if not, I know that's kinda vague. Love your blog btw :)

Yes I LOVE Star Trek! I literally had so much fun writing this, it got a bit out of control LOL! But yeah I hope you like it!!

The logical choice

Words: 2,436

Genre: action/adventure, a Star Trek episode, first kiss

Rating: teen or general audiences

Read on AO3:

"Captain's log, stardate ???[writer's note: I can't do math!]. What would have been a diplomatic mission to Vulcan, a completely safe route, turned out to become something quite different. Ian was going to let our starship T'hy'la be blessed, and we would join a Vulcan fleet to covertly inspect the edges of Federation space. But all of a sudden, we were violently sucked into a wormhole, and were spat out, smack dab in the middle of the Delta Quadrant."

Anthony paused. He looked out of the window of his suite. He'd read a lot about Captain Janeway's voyages through this quadrant, and her years long quest to get back home. Panic stirred deep within him. He shut his eyes tightly and took a few deep breaths.

"We've been stranded here for a few days now. Chief Agnew, Ensign Bowe and their crew have been hard at work to repair the damage done by the violent yanking through space that T'hy'la has endured. Our deflector shields malfunctioned and structural integrity scraped by within an inch of collapsing. I truly believe that a bout of fate has saved us."

His communicator chimed. It was a benign sound, but it still made him jump.

"Captain, we've done all we can. Technically the ship works, but we lost a lot of deuterium. We repaired the injection subsystem, Tommy really outdid himself. But it's no use, we can't start with this little fuel."

"Thank you, Spencer," Anthony answered, trying to sound comforting. "You've done well. it may be time for us to try and reach out for help."

The door beeped.

"Come in."

"Captain," Ian strode into the room.

Anthony's Number One, and a Vulcan, Ian somehow always calmed Anthony down. And it was better, the closer they stood to each other.

"Number One, please tell me what you think of the situation?"

"We have done short- and long range scans, and have found no life-forms or ships. However," Ian raised one sharp eyebrow, "We did scan a gaseous nebula. It's all around us and could be the reason our sensors didn't pick anything up. Although it is not without risk, logic suggests we send out a distress signal."

"Agreed." Anthony sighed. Who knows what kind of aliens were out and about here, but they might as well try.

~

"Amanda, what's the matter?" Mister Topp, the ship's EMH, asked with kind, light-blue eyes.

"Shayne, I feel something big," she collapsed dramatically on a medical bed in the sickbay. "It's something I've never felt before, and you know I sense almost anything, being quarter Betazoid. "I- I don't know. It's not good, but also not evil. It's just... something infinite, almost. Like an ultimate power. It makes me dizzy."

"Well," Shayne smirked, "Courtney was just here, and her ego does tend to be infinitely big. I guess her Klingon side gives her the extra confidence." He sighed. "But she could be a bit nicer to me."

"Shayne," Trevor intervened. "You were flirting with her the entire time. She wasn't even here for a medical exam. She just checked in on us to see if everything was safe and you insisted she take three different blood tests! I'd be annoyed too," he laughed.

"I wish I could sense how you're feeling," Amanda beamed at Shayne. "But I can't sense a hologram. I do know how Courtney feels, though..." She winked at Shayne, who blushed.

"Amanda, it seems like you're back to normal. Please report back here if that changes again. Bye now!"

"Not without my hug," she teased.

"Why do Betazoids always want to hug!"

"I think it's just her," Trevor giggled.

"Get in here!" Amanda commanded. After the group hug, she went back to her Ship's counsellor's office.

Her communicator chimed.

"Hello commander Hecox," she smiled, as she sat down and crossed her legs over the couch, usually reserved for her patients.

"Counsellor Lehan-Canto. We need to talk."

~

Keith, the ship's Conn officer, observed the Bridge while captain Padilla was resting. He had never thought he'd be this far from home, but there he was, in the Delta Quadrant. Strangely, he wasn't worried. He looked at the beautiful multicolored nebula outside.

Suddenly, he got a transmission request.

"Captain, to the Bridge, we're being hailed!"

Not a moment later, Anthony walked in. "On screen," he commanded.

"WELL WELL WELL," a grinning, huffing alien said to them. "WHAT HAVE WE HERE!!! A NICE STARFLEET SHIP, NO LESS! "WHAT ARE YOU DOING SO FAR FROM HOME?"

"This is captain Anthony Padilla of the starship T'hy'la. I assume you received our distress call."

"WE SURE DID, RIGHT, GUYS?" the alien looked at two very beautiful and scantily-clothed people on each side of her.

"Oh yes, Angela, we sure did," one of them replied with a honey-sweet voice.

"YES, WE DID, CAPTAIN. LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF. I'M ANGELA, AND THESE ARE MY FRIENDS CHANSE AND ARASHA. And..." Angela lowered her voice menacingly, "you have invaded OUR space."

"We've been sucked into a wormhole against our will and are stranded here without deuterium. We could trade you for it, We have latinum on board. Don't Ferengi always like a good deal?

"HA! YOU THINK YOU KNOW THE FERENGI HUH! Yeah, we do always want a good deal. But I don't think you'll be able to give us one. Your starship is called T'hy'la? HA! What a weak Vulcan/human hybrid concept. Don't you know the Rules of Acquisition? Rule 21: Never place friendship above profit. So, my little FRIEND, why don't you give your ship to me, and I will send you on your way back to the wormhole?"

Anthony scoffed. "I'm sorry, but have you scanned our ship? We could easily defeat you."

"Well..." Angela smirked even wider, and scratched behind her enormous ear. "I guess I didn't make myself clear. If you DON'T give me your ship, you will be dealing with my friends. Not these idiots here," she gestured to Chanse and Arasha. "I mean them."

And in one moment, all hope left Anthony's soul: two large, square spaceships emerged. It was the Borg.

" HAHAHA! You have one hour to respond!"

Angela disconnected.

"Red Alert," Anthony commanded.

~

The sirens were wailing through the ship.

"Not Red Alert again? We just fixed up the entire ship!" Tommy threw up his hands in exasperation.

Spencer put his gloved hand on his shoulder. "I was really hoping we could go to the holodeck and play DnD again. But it's not in the cards for us this time."

"Sword and shield in hand," Tommy bumped his shoulder into Spencer.

"Saving the day, just like we do everyday at work!"

"Even though I never get a promotion!"

"You really should, Tommy."

They were play-fighting with their engineer gear, and seeing Spencer laugh and goof off, suddenly made Tommy realize something. He was in love with his boss.

"Hey, why'd you stop?" Spencer was still booping him with a pretend-sword.

"You're adorable."

"Dude. I know."

"I mean... I..."

"AB," Ian said, walking quickly past them.

"Did he make up a nickname for us?!" Tommy said, wide-eyed. "Do Vulcans do that?"

"I think Amanda has been teaching him to be more normal, I mean, better at communication. Not doing that is normal for a Vulcan, of course."

"Imagine them together in a room!" Tommy laughed. A Vulcan and a Betazoid, they couldn't be more opposite!"

"Well, if I can sense anything, it's that those two have some chemistry going on," Spencer said with a smug look on his face. "I mean, she calls everyone 'imzadi' but her voice is softer when she says it to Ian. Huh... But sorry, you were going to say something?"

"Oh..." Tommy blushed. "Nevermind..."

~

"Ian, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Amanda visited Ian's quarters. It was very clean and neat and indeed very Vulcan.

"Please, sit," Ian gestured to the one table in the room, with two small chairs.

They both sat down. Amanda couldn't help but feel attracted to Ian's stoic earnest. And he was cute, too...

"I heard you sensed a presence, ever since we've been stranded here."

"Yes! I have been, and it seems like it's getting stronger too! If that is even possible. It's like we're at the epicenter of something."

"I sense it too."

"You do?"

"Yes. We Vulcans might not show our emotions, but we feel a lot of things. And I have felt this once before. Amanda, we are in grave danger."

~

"Ia- Number One!" Anthony was so glad to see Ian as he walked onto the Bridge.

"We are very much outnumbered, captain," Ian said. "It would be logical to surrender."

Ian walked closer to Anthony. Anthony sighed in relief. Whatever would come next, he could bear it with Ian at his side.

"But I advice against it."

"What?"

"The Ferengi woman is the obvious culprit, luring ships here to loot and then let them be assimilated by the Borg. However... She is not the one in control here."

Ian and Anthony heard clapping behind them.

"Well done, commander Hecox," a woman with long black hair, dressed in all black, spoke.

"Who are you?" Anthony demanded.

"She is Q, the most powerful being in the universe."

"You know her, Ian?"

"I know her, from long ago. She called herself Olivia Sui then."

"And I kept my eye on you, Ian. I expected great things from you! And even though you are obviously the smartest one on this ship of idiots, you've become boring! You used to make me laugh, Ian..."

Anthony felt a sudden annoyance at this Q. Why was she so interested in his Number One?!

"What do you want, Q?"

"What do I want?! I want to laugh again, damnit! So," and she snapped her fingers, and the entire ship was gone. Instead, he, Ian and Amanda stood in an empty, white world. Angela, Arasha and Chanse were also there. "If you make me laugh first, I'll zap you straight home! But if not... then you're back at the mercy of Angela here."

Amanda, Anthony and Ian huddled together.

"So, is she an ex of yours or something?" Amanda whispered.

"We were betrothed once."

"What?!" Anthony fumed.

"Ha, your anger amuses me already, captain. But I'm not laughing just yet!"

Anthony looked straight at Q, and began to mime. Physical humor was his strong suit. He fell over, mimed that he was stuck, rolled over the ground... to no avail.

"You failed! Next!"

Angela walked forward.

"SO, HERE'S THE JOKE! TWO BARS OF LATINUM WALKED ACROSS THE STREET! AND ONE OF THEM SAID, LET ME WALK IN THE MIDDLE NOW"

"Elementary concept, expertly executed," Q said. "But not enough to make me laugh. NEXT!"

Amanda walked forward. She got really close to Q, and Anthony felt Ian tense up. He took his hand. Ian squeezed extremely hard. He probably forgot his Vulcan strength for a second.

Wait, did Ian care this much about Amanda? Were they- was Ian just dating everyone and Anthony didn't know it? He figured, he couldn't blame the girls. Ian was so handsome, so strong...

"I guess you don't know who I am," Amanda began. "I am the daughter of Deanna Troi and William Riker. That makes me one quarter Betazoid... and I sense that you don't want to laugh at all. You want to FEEL something. And I'll give it to you. I've reached a certain age, you know..." Amanda tip-toed her fingers up Q's arm.

"Give mommy a smooch!"

"Noo, no, get away from me!" Q took a few steps away.

"HA! THERE, YOU GIGGLED!"

"Did not!"

"I saw it! You laughed, Q!"

"Okay, fine, I did! But I'm not done just yet! I guess I will zap you and your stupid ship back home.... after.... THEY kiss."

"Who?"

"The captain and his Number One."

"What?" Ian and Anthony said in sync.

"Yeah, hahaha! That will really make my day! Don't tell me you haven't sensed it, Betazoid? They are all in."

Amanda looked down. She really liked Ian and he liked her too, but she knew that his heart belonged to his captain. On all their intergalactic adventures, Ian had saved Anthony so many times and vice versa, they had developed an unbreakable bond. They had never acted on it before, but now, apparently it was the only thing that would save them.

"So, you cooked up this whole charade, just to get them to kiss?"

"What? It's not a charade, I'm eternally bored, I had to think of something!"

Q walked up to Ian and Anthony. "Now, do the thing," she said, pressing her two index fingers together.

Ian looked at Anthony. The intense warmth of his brown eyes overwhelmed the Vulcan. He would normally never show it, in fact he had never given Anthony a clue that he was interested. But he was. All the times he had seen Anthony change clothes, when Anthony had hugged him after they were safe from danger, he had never reciprocated. But now, he had no choice.

"It's only logical that we do this. But I have to confess, Anthony... I've been longing for a kiss from you for an eternity. And I need to know if you're okay with it now."

Anthony blushed deeply. Was Ian just saying this because of the situation? Why did he make it more dramatic than it needed to be? "Ian... Have you really? I've loved you for such a long time... And I've also always wanted an opportunity to kiss you. But I never dared, I never thought it was appropriate, seeing as I'm your captain and all."

"Yes, you acted logically as well."

"Ian..."

Anthony took Ian's chin between his fingers and pushed it upwards.

"Excellent!" Q said, but they didn't hear her.

"Anthony..." Anthony saw a wild fire ignite between Ian's eyes. It was scary but Anthony wasn't afraid. He pressed his lips agains Ian's.

Ian growled and kissed him back, grabbing on Anthony's curls. Anthony couldn't believe the feeling. It was scorching hot, but so, so comfortable. He wanted to stay like this forever.

When he opened his eyes, they were back on the T'hy'la and back in the Alpha Quadrant.

"Are you okay, captain?"

Anthony looked at Ian. He could cry. Nobody remembered anything, except for him.

"I- I need to take a break..."

He walked off the bridge. As if by magic, Amanda was waiting for him there.

"Captain, I sensed your emotions, they quickly heightened. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I think that's best, Counsellor."

"Come on, I'll take you to my office."

[jumping-joey1104]

could I get some Slender Man headcanons plz?

The big man himself! Daddy Long Legs! STICK IN THE MUD!!!!

As it’s pretty clear on my blog (at least I hope it is) I’m both a huge Slenderverse fan and a Creepypasta fan. So my personal headcanons on Slender varies.

For one, I see slender as the same being within all of it. He’s the operator in Marble Hornets, he’s the Slenderman of Creepypasta. But also the leader of the Collective in Tribetwelve and Stick in the Mud.

The way this works in my head is that he’s one being that moves within the multiple dimensions that house these different groups.

Marble hornets fits within Creepypasta, so the Operator is what reigns over that group. The Proxies (I.E Toby, Kate, Cat Hunter, etc.) are their own dimension. The Slender/Operator that we in the Creepypasta fandom is the one that stays in that dimension.

But when he “leaves” he goes to the other dimensions that you’ll see in EverymanHybrid, TribeTwelve, and even MlAndersen0. That’s where we get the more terrifying being of Slender.

In Slenderverse series it’s shown he’s a very powerful being, just the collective themselves is a good example of this. Considering that if only one of his followers in that cult break free they become a rogue god. This Slender works alongside with beings that are almost as strong as him.

Habit (EMH), Patrick (MLA0), even the Rake in some series. The difference is that the Slenderverse Dimension has no hierarchy of power like it does within the CreepyPasta dimension.

In the Creepypasta dimension we do have stronger demons like Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, even Zalgo. But everything is split within who’s the most human.

In the Slenderverse Dimension we don’t have that. We have the embodiment of mankind’s bad habits eating babies and a Rogue God traveling through time to give his younger self anxiety. A repetition of darkness if you may.

So for Creepypasta Dimension Slender he acts more like a boss. Yes he’s still very stoic and quiet. Even walking around him still gives you the same headaches and static that we all know and love.

However, he’s a lot more… “humane” in this dimension. Knowing who to put with who to get the best outcome, keeping his proxies in a mortal state. Even housing other killers and ghosts for safety. He makes his own army in this dimension. Although he leads with an iron fist he also is more patient.

Let’s say Tim in his Masky state was unable to complete a mission. Or unable to keep the mission from going awry. In the other dimension the poor guy would’ve been forced into a purgatory and tortured for years even though it was only a few minutes. But in this dimension he only gets a punishment and a warning.

In the other dimension Slender is a tyrant. A virus within himself if you may. You see this in all the series, from haunting Michael for years since childhood and watching over the reincarnations of the EMH crew.

The sickness is the same for both dimensions, but it’s just a change of personalities between each dimension. I’d like to think that sometimes they cross over, but it’s a high risk operation.

All in all, that’s my basic headcanons on Slender. How he’s still an eldritch being but has multiple dimensions he can watch over. That and different attitude and appearances for each.

[direwolfrules]

Star Trek: Voyager But The Caretaker Also Grabbed Ships From A Galaxy Far Far Away

I don't know, maybe the Star Wars Galaxy is in the same direction as the Alpha Quadrant anyway. So, joining Voyager it is!

Aaannnd I've decided in the five seconds I stepped away that Season 4 Ghost Crew + Rex and Kallus is the most interesting.

Hera would tell the rest of her crew that since the Ghost is toast, they're kinda dependent on the Voyager crew to get even somewhat closer to their home, so if the strange people want you to wear their weird uniforms and answer up a chain of command, you go do it. Space mom's orders are to be followed.

I don't think any of them actually become temporary Starfleet personnel, just Civilians like Neelix and Kes. At least at first, they could potentially join down the line. Part of this is they're already part of a command structure, one they'd very much like to get back to, and part of it is they don't know how anything works?

Star Wars and Star Trek technology are very different. Like, warp drives must seem ridiculous from the perspective of people raised on hyperdrives, but replicators are almost more magical than Force powers. Universal translators instead of super annoying protocol droids providing a running commentary? Insane. Wait, what do you mean the murder droid technically qualifies as sentient by your laws, and therefore we aren't allowed to turn him off? That's the only thing that gets him to stop threatening our lives!

Intake physicals reveal, in no particular order: Hera's pregnant (to the surprise of everyone but Kanan), Federation medical technology can restore Kanan's vision (he jumps on the chance to see his family again like a Corellian jumps on a freighter), and the EMH has several potential therapies that could not only stop Rex's rapid aging, but also reverse it (Starfleet ships keep getting hit by aging diseases, temporal anomalies, and weird transporter accidents, they've learned a thing or two after a few centuries).

Janeway's dealing with an internal debate over whether letting the Ghost crew join up is a violation of the Prime Directive or not. They don't have warp capability but their hyperdrives seem to be even better? Does it count when they seem to have bypassed warp tech entirely and instead developed dimension-shifting FTL tech? If the answer is no can she make an exception anyway because the Space Wizards seem useful?

Anyway, I think the Rebels would try to make themselves as useful as possible in order to get home.

Hera has them all studying Federation education modules in their downtime so they can better understand all the new tech. Hera's also practicing flight simulators in the holodeck, because she's never met a ship she couldn't fly and she's not going to let a helm console hold her back.

Her and Tom have a mini feud over who's the best pilot on the ship. If we go by Federation controls, Tom is, but only because he has more experience with them. When Tom builds the Delta Flyer with the classic flight controls, Hera beats him in a race. Easily. He winds up crying on B'Elanna's couch. Then after B'Elanna kicks him out he winds up crying on Harry's couch.

Sabine's basically a tech prodigy, so I don't think she'll have too much trouble understanding the engineering principles behind things. It's more convenient plot wise anyway. Hera has to negotiate with Janeway on her behalf to get permission to paint in certain areas of the ship. Personal quarters, the mess hall, etc., she can paint as long as it's appropriate and not interfering in ship operations.

Sabine, once she gains a sufficient understanding of Federation technology, starts volunteering for shifts in Engineering. It starts with her doing basic maintenance and later as she grows more proficient she starts helping with things like warp core refits. She also starts experimenting with various pieces of equipment, and at one point figures out how to replicate beskar. This is important for later plot points.

Ezra basically gets kidnapped by Samantha Wildman. His whole "connecting to animals" thing? Yeah, the ship's Xenobiologist isn't going to pass up the walking, talking research tool. Also, Ezra could always use more Space Moms. This one just happens to lack protagonist energy.

When he's not helping keep the feral creature of the week from killing the entire crew of the ship, he's joining away missions because having a Space Wizard with a laser sword on your team should just be standard protocol.

Ezra's also the one to figure out there's something wrong with Seska. She always feels slimy in the Force, and cold. She reminds him of several Imperial officers he'd come up against, a sense of viciousness-ambition-hunger that makes the very air in the room feel like poison. His danger sense never seems to stop going off when she's nearby.

He reports the bad feeling to Chakotay, and while a note is made to keep a closer eye on her, it's not like they can really do anything. Until Seska takes an action that endangers the ship and its crew, they cannot take action. How would it look to the Maquis crew if one of their own was locked in the brig thanks to the Wizard Boy's feelings? They'd have a ship-wide mutiny in less than two hours.

Sometimes Tom and Harry kidnap him for shenanigans related purposes, including but not limited to Captain Proton holodeck adventures. Sometimes they include Sabine and her and Tom bond over the crushing weight of parental expectations. Sabine hates the lack of color in the Captain Proton holoprogram, and has taken to programing "color bombs" into it with Ezra's help.

Kanan is Hera's house husband that watches Jacen and tries to stop his space children from having a mental breakdown. (They're all halfway to a breakdown, that's an undercurrent of this whole AU, they just do a semi-decent job of hiding it until it all bursts forth at once, usually at a highly inconvenient time. Except Ezra, he gets mega angsty for a bit.)

Kanan occasionally joins away missions as well. Him and Tuvok kinda bond in a "we're both Space Dads" way. They also kinda low-key hate each other. Tuvok's all about that Vulcan logic and Kanan believes in following the Force. The Force makes no logical sense, and half the time you're relying on your own potentially faulty interpretation of its warnings. They're frenemies. It's fun until Neelix tries to force them to bond.

Zeb helps out in Security. He's also Naomi and Jacen's second favorite babysitter. Him and Neelix have a small rivalry over this.

Also, Zeb's basically Neelix's biggest supporter when Dr. Jarel shows up. Threatens to throw the guy out an airlock if he so much as scans Neelix. (Listen, I'm not saying Zeb and Neelix get drunk one night and cry on each others' shoulders about the Purging of Lasan and the Metreon Cascade's effect on Rinax, but I'm also not not saying it.)

Also, I think it would be funny if leola root tasted exactly like a common ingredient in some traditional Lasat dishes. Zeb basically never uses his replicator rations because his Lasat taste buds find so much of Neelix's fare to be downright pleasant. Basically Zeb in this AU is a giant murder machine who enjoys Neelix's cooking and always has a stockpile of one of the most valuable currencies on the ship. The crew views him as some sort of mythical deity because of this.

Kallus helps Tuvok with threat assessments and the like. Janeway also drafts him to investigate the Maquis crew, sniff out potential bad actors so that a closer eye can be kept on them. It's thanks to this Lon Sudar is caught and given psychiatric help before he can go full Lon Sudar.

Once Kes sets up the Aeroponics Bay Kallus starts to basically live in there. Neelix does a whole segment on it for his morning show, "Stressed City Boy Learns Joy Of Gardening". It's a big hit for the audience of two (Samantha and Zeb).

Rex is everyone's grandpa. Seriously, he just is. Before his aging is fixed to what it should be, he's like an armored Santa Claus. Even after it's fixed most of the crew can't really get the image of Grandpa Rex out of their heads. He tells the best stories about his brothers, and about his Jedi General and Commander.

Over drinks one night in the holographic bar though, Rex's stories...morph.

Halfway through a story about when Fives and Echo tried to explain to a shiny why you shouldn't enter any room the General and Senator Amidala were in alone without knocking, he just breaks down and starts crying about how Fives had been shot by a brother. How Fives had tried to save them all, and how he'd paid for it with his own life.

A story about General Skywalker getting ambushed with glitter by an Initiate Clan is interrupted by a tear-filled rendition of the March on the Temple. It's awful and heartbreaking and it's only made worse when Rex reveals he heard the story from a freshly dechipped brother, one who'd only been a shiny at the time of Order 66. A brother who after a single day without the endless drone of "Good soldiers follow orders" buzzing around his skull decided to eat his own blaster. The kid hadn't even picked out a name yet.

After that, people tend to tread on eggshells around him for a bit. It's just, it's a lot. For what feels like the millionth time since they first got stranded in the Delta Quadrant, Janeway curses whoever at Starfleet Command decided the original mission was too short to justify a ship's counselor.

Chopper, he likes exactly three members of Voyager's crew and they are Samantha Wildman, Naomi Wildman, and Seven of Nine when she shows up. Chopper finds himself unable to hate Samantha because she's simply too nice, and Hera seems to like her (they're pregnancy buddies). Then she produces her offspring, and Naomi's a good child who helps Chopper and Jacen pull pranks on the crew.

Then there's Seven. Seven, who post-Borg happens to agree with Chopper on a lot of things. At least until she learns about morals and stuff, and gets in touch with her human side. But by then the murder-bonding has been completed, and Chopper counts her as one of the "do not murder" organics.

Also, the Universal Translator is able to translate Binary, which is...just fantastic. Chopper hates it, because now he can't slyly insult people in a language they don't understand. Eventually someone, possibly B'Elanna, takes pity on the children and Harry and shuts down translation of anything Chopper says.

[burningexeter]

[IDEA THAT'S NOT YET A PITCH]

Marvel's Damage Control

What is it —

A female-led Marvel action-superhero series that instead of being the type of pandering and obnoxious girl power schlock that we have today, is a throwback to 2000s and early 2010s action cartoons that wipe the floor with modern garbage.

PREMISE:

Heavily implied to be in the same continuity as The Spectacular Spider-Man, Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes and Wolverine and the X-Men, a now college student Mary Jane Watson is looking ahead for her future but is currently struggling to keep up with the rest due to certain personal issues in her private life.

Accepting an opportunity that could potentially make her life now easier and even set her future in stone, MJ learns the hard way that sometimes taking what appears to be the easy route isn't always the best option when she discovers it's nothing more than a horrible ruse that lands her into a secret street level conflict between a now solo Susan Storm/Invisible Woman, a now solo Emma Frost, Felicia Hardy/Black Cat, Sable Manfredi/Silver Sable and a now solo Tandy Bowen/Dagger. That is until a series of new threats emerge that affects them all in some way, shape or form and the six of them end up forming an unlikely team whose job is to be a clean-up crew that specialize in dealing with the aftermath of superhero conflicts, rescheduling events because of the conflicts and retrieving lost items. Turns out for Mary Jane, it pays really well.

NOTES/TRIVIA/DETAILS:

• Yes, it will be directly implied to be set in the Yost-Verse continuity. Not only will all the voice actresses — Vanessa Marshall, Erin Torpey, Kari Wahlgren, Tricia Helfer and Nikki Cox — reprise their roles but there will be a definite wink-wink, nudge-nudge to the events of the previous three shows. The idea for it is that several things (in this case, Spectacular, EMH and Wolverine) happened, they all of a sudden went dormant but now BOOM! it's back and the shadows here are moving again, everything is moving under the goddamn sun and you pick it up from there.

• The Damage Control team will be a more than unconventional team that come into conflict over different things with the big ones being Black Cat and Silver Sable aren't afraid to get their hands dirty since they're basically villains-turned-anti-heroes while Mary Jane's personal life plays a role in the events for the team. However, it's at the end of the day that it's revealed they're an incredibly effective and capable team that get the damn job done.

• One thing that will be played for humor and help define and establish the tone of it where it's more on a somewhat grounded level is that the team, much to her dismay, decide to live together in Mary Jane's apartment where she shares the same bed as Sue and Sable who ultimately act as caring mother figures to her.

• Another thing that will differentiate it from others is that the six leads will actually have their bumbling and screw-up boobish moments (a la Elastigirl checking herself out in the mirror, Kim Possible accidentally landing into the arms of a Bebe and then being thrown etc.) to show that despite being "strong, female characters" they are far from perfect but it makes sense in context because Mary Jane is just starting out as a superhero, Susan, Emma and Cloak are just starting as solo heroes and Black Cat and Sable are just starting out as anti-heroes so they're all bound to screw up when they're in action.

• Now this is just for fun but there will be a few easter eggs, references and flat-out and direct cameos either to or from other non-superhero media that establishes a retroactive shared universe. I mean hey if fucking Ultimate Spider-Man can do it with Jessie, thus having it be part of the Disney Channel Universe officially than why can't I with this. For example, Sable finds herself stuck in an elevator with a certain eccentric black woman who turns out to be security after having worked at the infamous C.U.R.E. Institute — it's motherfucking Denise Hemphill from Scream Queens with Niecy Nash reprising her role.

[fractalcloning]

The EMH was, in turns, deeply grateful to be aboard such an ecclectic ship and a bit dismayed by it. His sparkling personality was truly lost on most of the crew, Data inclusive. In truth, he knew Picard on sight--it was rather difficult not to, all things considered--but he nodded along at Data's gushing. (Gushing being relative, of course, but he knew what pride looked like on the especially stoic.)

Normally, Data's assessments of the situation were truly top notch. He was direct, to the point, and didn't waste a single iota of anyone's time dithering about. The Doctor really, truly appreciated that about him, even if his dry witicisms often sailed over their de-facto Captain's head. The scanner completed its work as Data stepped away and retrieved a console but, extraordinarily, the results of the scan conflicted with Data's assessment.

"Hm. That's going to be a challenge," The EMH replied and leaned to one side to engage the halo on the biobed. It closed over the girl and commenced with another scan.

"What? Why?" Picard asked after a beat, his brow already dipping with concern. Had she truly injured herself? Had she crashed terribly-- "Well, the first problem is: she's not an android," the hologram informed them both. "She is," Picard instantly assured him, his surprise evident. "Isn't." "I can assure you--" "I'm sorry," the hologram snapped and glowered, clearly offended at being so blatantly disagreed with. He promptly held out the handscanner and Picard could do little but take it from him. Waspishly the hologram added: "I wasn't aware you'd gotten your MD. Did you pick it up as a retirement hobby? Ambitious of you." "Pardon me?" Picard was finding he didn't care for this EMH. Then again, he'd never really been very fond of any of them. They were efficient and invaluable, but he much preferred human doctors. He cast aside his affront as the Doctor moved around the biobed. Dahj was bathed in the greenish light of the Romulan scanner and they watched in real-time while it did its work. As the computer imaged her, a holographic representation formed above her, slice by slice. As it compiled, the Doctor reached up to the hologram and pulled it apart into vertical layers--each one displayed an organic system in impressive detail.

"As I was saying," the EMH continued as the biobed halo concluded its deep scans. He gestured to the display and looked from Picard to Data. "That's a genuine, red blooded, dyed in the wool, human woman."

"That's not possible," Picard disagreed as he read through the handheld's results, confusion clear on his face. Every reading on the screen disagreed with him, as did every reading on the biobed's display. Romulans might not be the most advanced when it came to medical technology, but there were precious few species with more developed scanning capabilities. "These readings aren't right," Picard tried to explain and the Doctor huffed a sigh. "Are you implying that, on a ship of exclusively synthetic organisms, we just let the scanners break?" the EMH asked, his tone shifted to employ as much patience as he was capable of. He was cantankerous, certainly, but even he could muster some traditional professionalism when necessary. "Your assessment is erroneous," Data interjected and that, at least, seemed to have some weight. The Doctor gave him a curious but longsuffering look and interacted with the holographic representation of Dahj again.

"Shocking, I know," he began. "but she hasn't got anything that would indicate she's an android--she has no identifiable implants of any kind, no nanoprobes, no ports, no power supply, she's pristine. She hasn't so much as broken a bone in her life. She's hale and whole--except for some surface dermal abbrasion and a cut beneath her hairline, neither of which are mortal concerns." "I don't understand," Picard admitted, absolutely baffled, and set the handheld aside on the bed. "I've seen this girl leap ten meters, watched her disarm and disable ten Zhat Vash assassins. She can move faster than I can see--?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Maybe she does taekwondo?" The EMH stepped back and made space for Picard to circle the bed. He did, as the space opened, and immediately began tabbing through the biobed halo. Every reading was normal, even nominal--the technology couldn't be faulty, and there was no way a Romulan military grade scanner was simply wrong, so how was she doing it? Picard looked to Data as though he might have an answer.

"Could she be giving off false readings? A falsifying RFID, perhaps to allow her to appear human on scans? Is that possible?" Picard asked and, despite not being the one to whom the question was addressed, the Doctor answered.

"There's a good, old-fashioned test for that, as well," the EMH said and retrieved a hypo from a nearby rack. The tool had a fine layer of dust that he shook off as he returned to the bedside. Then, as casual as you please, he pressed it up against the line of Dahj's neck, just along her juggular. The tool hissed and the vial filled with blood, or a liquid functionally indistinguishable from it. Picard stared, flummoxed, and a creeping doubt tried to gain foothold in his mind. He quashed it--Dahj was clearly synthetic. It was simply a question of how. "If you want a second opinion, I'm sure Soteria or a dozen of the AI floating around the computer would be happy to analyze this sample," the Doctor said once the vial was half-full. He pulled it away from Dahj's neck and ejected the vial from the device. Picard watched it but, even without a scanner, he recognized it--the viscocity, the film it left, the way it moved in the container, it was blood.

"Remarkable," Picard muttered and glanced at Data's console, across the bed from him. "Can you connect to her?" Surely on a ship with so many synthetic beings of such different makes and models--

"While I'm happy to entertain this hypothetical," the EMH interrupted again, this time with some concern. He had intended to go place the sample in the scanner but the shift of conversation stopped him mid-step. "I should point out that she has nothing even remotely like an access panel. I'm all for testing, but I must put my foot down before someone suggests surgical intervention." "What? Of course not!" Picard replied, aghast and the EMH was taken aback by the force of his refusal. Despite the sharpness in Picard's tone, the EMH seemed to wholeheartedly approve of the iron-clad rebuke. "I am, however, quite satisfied with your "assistance." If you don't intend to to be helpful, kindly remain quiet." The EMH's brows rose approvingly. He looked Picard over briefly and clucked his tongue again. His estimation of Picard seemed higher for being yelled at, as absurd as that was. "Now, now, Helpful is my middle name," the EMH countered but this time, with considerably more politesse. He looked to Data, his argumentative streak set aside, and searched for confirmation. "You're both positive, then, that she's somehow synthetic?" "We are," Picard confirmed with as much firmness and authority as he had available. The Doctor folded his arms and tapped the sample vial idly against his opposing forearm. He was (blessedly) silent for a span, his expression thoughtful. He was still in a way that spoke volumes about the sheer amount of information he was parsing through. Picard might not have liked EMHs, but he couldn't deny that they were a formidable database. "If I was an android…and was hellbent on passing as a human," the Doctor muttered and his head bobbed just slightly back and forth. It was a human mannerism he'd clearly adopted and it was uncannily convincing. "Hmm….Ah! I've got it." "You do?" "Well, no, not exactly, but I think there are a few arcane techniques we could employ here that will confirm your impossible hypothesis," the EMH replied and glanced up at the ceiling. "Soteria, my dear, I don't suppose we have the materials on hand for a magnetic resonance scanner?" Before the computer could answer the Doctor huffed. "Of course we don't--we might as well keep an iron maiden onboard, we'd get just as much use out of it. How about…heavy electromagnetic dampening? Hm? I don't suppose we're equipped for that but, given how Romulans feel about technology, if any ship would have something--" "Will that harm her?" "Hm?" The hologram seemed surprised by the question. "No, it's harmless to humans--ah, right. Fair point." Unfortunately, after ceding that, his frown deepened. After a moment, he looked to Data and, somewhat apologetically, admitted: "This may exceed the limits of my vast medical library. Unless they've suddenly repealed the Shenzhen Conventions and the Geneva Protocols, I have no idea how you would hide an android inside a human." He sighed. "We may require a specialist."

If there was someone he confided in unconditionally, it would be Picard; he had supported him where others had questioned his autonomy, he had defended him where others had objected to the validity of his capabilities, he had demanded reverence and equality where others had patronised and degraded him. And, as his superior, Data had seldom, if ever, challenged Picard's decisions, his intuition, his years of experience, and therefore, the claim that he was convinced that Dahj was the android's daughter, which had yet to be confirmed by empirical data, somehow made sense to him — he trusted him. Besides, he saw no logic in someone creating an android that was the facsimile of his painting titled "Daughter", but subsequently not relating her to him. He could only hope the test would pop up positive, because regardless of his good intentions, zeal and determination, he could not replicate an other Soong-type android, despite being one himself. He could repair others and fashion substitute components, but constructing a live specimen from scratch seemed to be beyond his comprehension, his abilities. Perhaps he required the one thing he had never fully mastered: humanity and all its nuances that were, and always would be, lost to him. He supposed it would be a consolation to humanoids to know that despite their independence, AI still relied on human expertise and inventiveness, impulsiveness to build stable and sentient androids — at least, for now...

With this newly harvested information, Data focused on Dahj again and without engaging in supplemental ambivalences regarding her origin, scooped her up in his arms, carrying her like a father would his child who had claimed they could stay up late but practice proved the contrary.

'This way, sir,' Data said, having risen to his full height and exited the transporter room with Picard in his wake.

The infirmary was vacant, as could be expected on a ship where androids and digital AI constituted the ship's complement. Fortunately, the lack of organic patients did not render the EMH less accommodating — cranky, for sure, but he was still as helpful as he had been during his time serving aboard Voyager.

The scathing remark the EMH spat at Picard caused Data to make an oh-dear,-here-we go-again face, but discontinued the expression when the holographic doctor diverted his attention to him. Although Data respected the sentient and emotional capable computer simulated physician, his sarcasm and acerbity was still situated far beyond the boundaries of Data's comprehension and made it a challenge to communicate with him; data always struggled to navigate his way through their conversations when the Doctor embarked on one of his infamous caustic rampages — Lore, on the other hand... Fortunately, the EMH's proficiency and expertise in his field and the general knowledge he had accumulated during his time on Voyager had aided them on multiple occasions.

'I was not planning to turn the retrieval of organics into a recurring behavioural pattern,' the android assured him as he carefully unloaded his arms. 'But this is my former Captain: Captain Jean-Luc Picard,' he added with a tinge of sincere veneration, of esteem, audible in his voice and visible in the way he glanced up at Picard. 'And as for your patient, she is... an android. We should run a diagnostic on her systems to determine whether she is malfunctioning — it appeared that an emotional overload destroyed her synthetic epidermal layer. And in addition, I will run a program of my own to establish whether we are related or not.'

Data temporarily abandoned the Romulan biobed to produce the equipment necessary to conduct his examination and engaged the console — Soteria's code flashed, unobtrusively, on the terminal screen, reporting for duty, should he require her assistance.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Kes

By Ames

Star Trek: Voyager may have only had Kes on the show for three seasons, but that’s actually a pretty large percentage of her Ocampan life! And in that time, she definitely made her mark. It was just a mark that struggled to hold a candle against the character who swoops in and takes her place (more on that next week!). But we here at A Star to Steer Her By came to really appreciate the short show life of the short-lived character, even if the show rarely gave her much to do.

Kes is one of those nuanced characters (boy, Voyager sure is full of those), who you may not notice unless you’re looking for her. She’s compassionate, curious, and clever, and her eidetic memory really makes sense for someone who needs to grow up licketty split. Was the quick lifespan a good idea or a terrible one? You decide as we compile our Best and Worst Moments for Kes below and listen to our chatter on this week’s podcast episode (jump to timestamp 1:32:15). YOLO!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

I’ve learned very well. I saw the sunlight. The very first thing we learn about Kes (other than the fact that she’s dating Neelix) is that she’s left the safety of the Ocampan homeworld, a stagnant culture subsisting almost entirely under the eye of the titular “Caretaker.” This young prodigy has greater ambitions though, and she seeks to encounter more of the universe while she’s got the chance, and we give her credit for it!

What crop has sprung from the seed you planted today Immediately after joining the Voyager crew, Kes shows some initiative and starts up an airponic garden to supplement the ship’s rations. It’s only her second episode in “Parallax” and already we start to see her not only as a nurturer and someone who shows compassion to her fellow shipmates, but as someone who can take charge of a task and handle herself.

One lung to give While overall our opinion on the Kes-Neelix relationship is that it’s cringey, the two of them clearly care for each other. So Kes’s offer to donate her lung to Neelix in “Phage” is quite touching. She doesn’t even hesitate in the moment of crisis when the EMH is floundering, and then gets to carry it through when the Vidiians are able to perform the procedure.

He’s your Medical Officer. He’s alive. The EMH may complain and complain that no one gives him the credit he deserves, but Kes has always had his holographic back. We get to benefit from her outside perspective in “Eye of the Needle” when she requests that the crew treat him more nicely. And she also advocates for his existence in “The Swarm” before they risk losing him by restarting his program.

Someone was walking your grave When the show remembers that Kes has telepathic powers, she is frequently at her best. The way she learns whatever the hell was going on in “Persistence of Vision” depicts how she’s learning to master her mental capabilities while also keeping firmly in reality. Everyone else has succumbed to their delusions, and Kes is able to save the day by keeping a cool head.

Get down with the sickness Like how Torres insists the Doctor not take shortcuts in creating his holo-family in “Real Life,” Kes makes sure his Levodian flu is just as unpredictable as normal illnesses in “Tattoo.” How is the Doctor supposed to feel vulnerable if he always has control over his virus? Kes sneakily adds two hours to the ailment to show him how uncomfortable and stressful working while ill can be.

Use the Force, Kes! It was obviously too good to be true when Kes met a batch of hyper-powered, slightly longer-lived Ocampans like Tanis in “Cold Fire” offering to teach her their ways. When their caretaker, Suspiria, is trying to destroy the ship, Kes uses her new abilities back against Tanis in a display of defiance against their corrupted ways because she’d never hurt others willingly.

I don’t know how to say goodbye to Neelix and Tuvok No matter which side of the “Tuvix” debate you fall on, you’ve got to admit Jennifer Lien nails the scene with Janeway in which she breaks down over being caught in the middle of things. Even if you’re pulling for Tuvix to keep existing, you feel for Kes. She’s put into such a devastating position, admitting that while she doesn't want Tuvix to die, she wants Neelix back.

I can’t wait to see if Blaine’s twin brother is the father of Jessica’s baby She may barely be in any of the two-parter “Future’s End,” but Kes might be in the funniest moment. She and Neelix are scrutinizing the televised feeds from Earth in the past, and they immediately get addicted to soap operas. It’s quite a cute little moment. As Kes says, “There's something to be said for non-interactive stories like this, being swept away in the narrative.”

I walk through mindfields Jennifer Lien doesn’t get a ton of episodes to stretch her legs and show her range, especially since Kes herself is typically such a reserved character. So it is a delightful surprise to see what she can do when Kes is possessed by Tieran in “Warlord.” And it’s an even better surprise to see Kes fighting back in her own mind with a ferocity we’ve never seen from her before.

Kes has become unstuck in time Every so often, you get glimpses of just how intelligent Kes is, as Ocampans need to have eidetic memories and amazing deductive reasoning to develop mentally as quickly as they develop physically. So when she’s traveling backwards in time in “Before and After,” Kes is able to put together the out-of-order puzzle and keep from getting winked out of existence.

Something to remember me by Kes’s final episode with us (or really, what should have been her final episode with us, as you’ll see in our next section) sends her character off in a very satisfying way. “The Gift” does a great job completing her arc, as Kes’s mental powers improve off the scales until she uses them to send the ship ten years closer to home. It’s yet another selfless act from the ship’s sweeting.

—

Worst moments

Chekov is finally redeemed Firstly, is the wig we see Kes in for early episodes like “Parallax” worse than the one they put on Walter Koenig when he first joined TOS? We’re willing to give Walter the benefit of the doubt since it was the 60s and wig technology wasn’t where it was in the 90s. So what’s Voyager’s excuse then? Why does Kes look like she’s wearing a lhasa apso on her head?

I saw them burn. Their bodies ashes where they stood. The main complaint I can muster against the Kes character is how criminally underused she is throughout Voyager. The couple of times we lauded her mental powers above are just that: a couple of times. Most of the time, like in “Time and Again” when she senses Janeway’s presence in the other timeline, exactly nothing comes of it and it’s a huge wasted opportunity!

I felt like there was someone in the room with me Another episode where Kes’s telepathic powers could have benefited the story is in “Cathexis” when Tuvok is being possessed by the Komar. The entity sees that she could pose a threat and knocks her unconscious for the whole episode. It feels like such a tease! Remember how Kes has superpowers? Well, we’re not going to actually use them for literally the whole first season.

Then I guess our marriage is over Look, I’m grasping at straws because Kes doesn’t get to do much, let alone bad stuff. So it’s not technically Kes as the Doc’s wife in that weird fakeout scene toward the end of “Projections” – it’s another layer of holodeck malfunction. But I still don’t like it because it’s an unnecessary twist. And when the EMH is back to reality, it’s just as weird that Kes acts like maybe he’s not?

Kes, you’re baby crazy Can we just say all of “Elogium” here and be done with it? No? Ugh. While we can’t blame Kes for experiencing Ocampan heat, we sure can blame her for how she acts during it, hormones or no. And we also can blame the writers for making this forced pregnancy plot a thing in the first place because it turns a huge personal decision into a cringey couple’s squabble.

That green-eyed pus hog called jealousy It’s been said on the podcast so frequently that you’re probably over it that Kes and Neelix would have made better friends than romantic partners. But you love who you love, so who are we to judge? What we can judge is how Kes stayed with Neelix during his jealous, clingy phase, and barely even spoke up in “Twisted” when he basically accused her of being the town pump.

A watched Tuvok never boils As one of a couple episodes that remembers Ocampans have mental powers, “Cold Fire” really gives Kes a lot to do when Tanis and the other space-venturing Ocampans try to teach her their ways. And in the typical Kes fashion of someone who barely has any experience in the world, our girl immediately goes and boils Tuvok’s blood. Slow down, girl!

Help people, hurt them, give life, kill, it’s all the same Even when she’s gotten a [slightly] better handle on her powers later in “Cold Fire,” Kes still plays the innocent as she trusts these rogue Ocampans. Anyone watching the show could tell you right away they are trouble. But this young emancipated woman becomes so obsessed with her newfound powers that she nearly leaves with Tanis and crew, whom she’s only just met!

Caution: No Kes Allowed What on earth, or whatever stupid planet this is, makes Kes think she can wander off from her tour group and go trespass in these people’s sacred temple in “Sacred Ground”? Even though she didn’t know it would knock her into a coma, you’ve got to think someone as respectful as Kes usually is of other people wouldn’t think to go anywhere without asking permission first.

I think we should be possessed by other people Like last week when I included the omission of a scene that we desperately needed for Neelix to not seem like an asshole, we’ve got another scene that never happened for Kes. Kes never actually breaks up with Neelix! Tieran does it while possessing her in “Warlord,” and that guy’s an asshole! So why do we never actually get acknowledgment from the real Kes of what their status is?

Suffering from severe FOMO Kes is indeed back on the market after that nebulous breakup, and she’s already found herself a new boy in “Darkling.” Zahir seems perfectly nice as far as Mikhal Travelers go, but Kes is ready to pack her bags and get whisked away right after meeting this guy! I guess when you live as short as she does, you’ve got to follow your heart. But Kes is too quick to trust cute strangers.

You blame Captain Janeway, but the choice was yours But possibly the worst moment for Kes is whatever the hell happened in “Fury.” The episode feels like a “fuck you” to Jennifer Lien for leaving the show. Instead of the character we loved, the Kes who returns has been rewritten as a bitter, jaded, apathetic husk. And worse, there’s no good reason for it except that she forgot how good she had it on the show- I mean the ship.

—

And we’ve reached the end of our very short Ocampan life, so let’s hope we transcend into energy beings or whatever. Next week, we’re replacing our Ocampan sweeting with the show’s sex symbol, and I don’t mean Sandrine! So keep tuned here for more character spotlights, finish off our watchthrough of Enterprise with us over on SoundCloud or your favorite podcast app, reach out to us with your minds over on Facebook and Twitter, and thank you for changing out that wig!

[procrastinatorproject]

Apparently, we are now moving fully into the realm of angst... 🙈

This chapter (of technically still the same story, though we are moving further away from the original prompt with every paragraph 😅) is veering into explicit AU territory of the "Everyone lives, no-one is turned into a Borg Queen" variety. I'm not sure how much I'll go into the details of how we got here, some of it will definitely come up during this chapter, but I haven't picked the fix-it version I like best for season 2. So for now, let's just say: "S2 happened mostly the same, except Agnes and Rios have returned safely with the rest of the motley crew."

(also: not sure how coherent this is, but it is late and I'm trying not to stay up until 2am for once. I'll do some proper editing before I post this to AO3 in the semi-near future 😋)

---

“How are you today, Dr Jurati?”

Despite herself, Agnes had to smile. “Emil, how many times have I told you to call me Agnes?”

“Force of habit.” She could hear that the EMH, too, was smiling. Or… he would have been smiling, if he currently had a physical matrix.

“How are you doing?” she asked, leaning back in her chair and looking at the ceiling. As an academic with contacts in faraway sectors, it wasn’t unusual for her to have calls that were voice-only. Even with the latest advances in subspace communications technology, the latency of inter-quadrant calls was greatly reduced if you didn’t try to submit an image at the same time.

Still, this wasn’t your average voice call, and it was difficult to stop herself from picking at the corner of the loudspeaker, where a slim gap had formed between rim and grill that was vibrating ever so slightly every time the device emitted the EMH’s voice.

Emil seemed to be pondering her question. After a long moment, he said: “All my systems are operating within normal parameters. The ones I have access to, anyway.” He sighed. “It really is rather inconvenient, but I suppose this has to count as an improvement.”

Agnes ran a finger along the edge of the speaker. “Well, I’m glad to finally be talking to you again.”

“We spoke only last week,” the EMH said mildly.

Agnes rapped a knuckle against the grill. “That wasn’t the same.”

There was a brief pause before Emil said: “No, it wasn’t.” Another pause, then: “I’m glad, too. I’ve missed our chats.”

For a moment, silence hung between them as each dwelt on their own thoughts. Finally, Emil made a noise like he was clicking his tongue, even though in his current state, he had neither the tongue nor the palate to perform this action. When he spoke, he sounded a lot more composed. “Commandr Barclay is to be commended; I didn’t expect he’d make progress this quickly.”

“I was pretty amazed, too. I guess the new algorithms helped more than we’d thought.” Agnes felt a familiar tingle on her right cheek and she started fiddling with the zipper-pull on the edge of her sleeve.

Even though he didn’t have any meaningful access to the ship’s visual sensors, Emil must have noticed her sudden discomfort, because he asked: “Would you like to talk about that?”

Agnes pulled the zip up a few centimetres, then back down to her wrist. “I’m really sorry we haven’t been able to fully untangle your programmes.”

“That’s not what I —”

“It should only be a matter of time now,” Agnes continued quickly. “I had a message from professor L’Nel this morning. She’s finally managed to look at the data we sent her, and she thinks we can significantly reduce the risk of algorithmic fragmentation. We’ll probably have to work backwards to your root architecture and save all alterations and augmentations along the way, but with a large enough external processor, it should be doable.”

“Dr Jurati…”

The zipper had gotten snagged and no matter how hard Agnes pulled, she couldn’t free it again. “I was thinking we might ask Seven and Raffi if they have time for a detour to Vulcan. I still have contacts at the Science Academy and who knows. With my new-found powers of persuasion, I might just get them to lend us their supercomputer for a few hours.” She was babbling now, but she couldn’t make herself stop. “It would take some time to iron out all the kinks in interoperability-interfacing, but now that Ian can help us with insights into Sirena’s computer system, we’re a lot closer to a solution.”

“Agnes.”

The zipper finally came loose, but she had pulled on it with so much force that it slipped over the delicate stopper at the hem of her sleeve cuff and landed on the desk with a quiet clink. Agnes took a deep breath, staring at her now permanently zipped-up sleeve. So much for getting unstuck…

[syrena-of-the-lake]

YES I was hoping you would post a list. These are all amazing titles, are you kidding me?? I absolutely need to know about Regency and Regeneration though - that is an incredible name!

Thank you, my friend! I am SO HAPPY you asked about that particular story - we are definitely on the same wavelength. Inspired by your own Forever/Star Trek crossover (FIC REC: everyone go read Old Men Ought to Be Explorers) and a sequel of sorts to mine (To Seek Out New Life), "Regency and Regeneration" finds Henry Morgan once more on the Voyage of the Damned: the Federation Starship Voyager.

I have so many ideas listed in this WIP doc. Henry worrying about an 80-year journey where he would obviously not age alongside the rest of the crew. Identifying with the 37s and tempted to stay behind with people from an older era. Identifying with Quinn the Q: "For us, the disease is immortality." Reliving WWII and other horrors with the Hirogen, and praying the rest of the crew doesn't have to remember (almost) dying and being resuscitated repeatedly like him. Fearing the Vidiians, who would harvest his organs and turn him into a modern Tantalus. Fearing the Hirogen and their endless hunts. Fearing the Borg and their assimilation of immortality. SO MANY THINGS.

One of the scenes I really want to write is the time-travel episode to the 1990s. Henry would disobey orders and beam down to sneak a glimpse of Abe... perhaps he gets mugged by a young and scared Jo Martinez, interrogated by Joanna Reece, and bailed out by young Abe (who is less surprised by all this than he should be).

I go back and forth on whether to replace the Doctor with Henry, which would allow him to pass under the radar for much longer. But I love the Doctor too much to sacrifice him, and I'd like to see the interplay between them... I don't know, which is one of the many reasons this has been sitting on my WIP shelf for so long. But I keep picking at it – a couple scenes under the cut:

Not for the first time, Henry Morgan found himself on the Voyage of the Damned.

Not that he would ever utter such an appellation aloud, of course. Even if the whole crew was thinking the same thing, no Starfleet officer would be so crass as to say so – especially in front of the captain.

The Maquis, on the other hand… well, suffice it to say that tact was not part of their tactical database.

"I'll give you a medical emergency," snarled Torres.

Henry bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. Memories surged briefly: Jo, in the early days of their partnership, cradling her burnt hand and shouting at him even as he anxiously checked for aconite residue on her skin.

"I asked you here to repair things, not break them," the Emergency Medical Hologram snapped back. He sniffed. "Besides, I am a hologram. You cannot injure me."

"I can decompile your program," she said sweetly, waving a hydrospanner under the EMH's nose.

That, Henry decided, was his cue to intervene. "I wouldn't recommend that," he said, deftly deflecting Torres's reflexive half-swing of the hydrospanner in his direction as she whirled around to face him. "The EMH is the only qualified physician aboard."

"Aren't you a medic or something?"

"Molecular biologist," answered Henry cheerfully. Torres's scowl deepened. "I can resequence your DNA lickety-split and I'm a deft hand with a dermal regenerator, if I do say so myself, but let's just say you wouldn't want me mucking about in your brain."

She stared at him, furrowing her forehead ridges and clearly unsure whether to take him seriously. Henry stifled a grin. He couldn't help it; cantankerous people always brought out the mischief in him.

Even he knew not to rile a half-Klingon in a bad mood, however.

"Maybe you can just take a look at the power relays?" Henry lowered his voice. "I don't think they were meant for sustained operation. The EMH has been running almost continuously for weeks now, as he keeps reminding me. Every five minutes. Vociferously. Maybe they need… recalibrating? Or at least a brief respite?"

Torres snorted, a smile reluctantly tugging at her lips. "I'll see what I can do. You, hologram," she called.

The EMH stiffened. "My proper title is Doctor. Perhaps if you weren't so focused on physical violence, you could devote some neural pathways to remembering that."

Henry rolled his eyes. So much for peacemaking.

Torres, however, ignored him. "Computer, deactivate EMH." The doctor had just enough time to open his mouth for an indignant protest before his matrix dissolved. "Huh, I think you're right, Morgan. There's a definite hitch in the holoprojectors. I don't think it's the power supply, though… maybe one of the synapses in the bioneural circuitry…. There hasn't been time to check all the gel packs for micro-lesions. I don’t suppose a molecular biologist would know what to look for?"

"No," he admitted, "but I'm a quick study."

Lips pursed, Torres appraised him a moment before jerking her head in a nod. "Grab your tricorder, then. I'll take you on a tour of the Jeffries tubes, Lieutenant."

"Henry," he said.

"B'Elanna." Her reply was slow in coming, but the fact that it came at well gave Henry unexpected hope for Voyager's newly merged crew. "Watch your head," she warned.

He followed her into the Jeffries tube without comment, until he hit his head on a low-hanging hatch. He bit back a rude word and chuckled ruefully.

"Not such a quick study after all?" Torres called back at him, but from her tone Henry rather thought she was teasing rather than taunting.

"Apparently not," he agreed with a smile. "Fortunately, I've been told I have a thick skull."

Torres barked a laugh. "Let me guess. Delaney twin? Which one?"

"You know," Henry said thoughtfully, "I'm not even sure."

"Well, there's your problem," she answered dryly.

"Thank you for the diagnosis," laughed Henry. "So what are the doctor's orders?"

"You know what they say: Physician, heal thyself."

They shared a quick grin. When she wasn't hurling invectives or hydrospanners, mused Henry, B'Elanna Torres was quite pleasant company.

"So how long have you been in Starfleet?" she asked.

Only seventy-odd years, all told. "I graduated from the academy in '63," Henry answered. "Seems like a lifetime, though."

Torres snorted. "I know what you mean. I couldn't get out fast enough. Guess the uniform wasn't a good fit for me."

"It can get a bit tight in the collar," Henry acknowledged. "Still, over the years I've found one can make more of a difference working within the system than without."

She eyed him curiously. "You don't seem like much of a rule-breaker to me."

Henry chuckled. "You should have known me in my younger days. I used to be quite the rebel."

"And what, you've settled down in your old age?" She chuckled. "Come on, you can't be that much older than I am."

"I'd wager I'm a few years older," Henry said with a wink, "but I'd never ask a lady her age."

Torres laughed aloud. "That's the first time anyone's ever called me a lady. Do me a favor and don't say it in public. Seska would never let me live it down."

On top of everything, I began shipping Henry/Seven of Nine. She would figure out his secret eventually, just in time for Henry to die on an away mission to a planet with no water. He disappears, but Seven refuses to believe he is dead, and eventually finds him in the subterranean ocean of an inhospitable planet nearby. "Your analysis of the situation is flawed," she would inform him afterwards. "You are not immortal; I witnessed your death." Does that give him the key to unraveling his condition? Probably not. But Seven would keep his secret and return him to Voyager with the plausible explanation that, while he may have been killed, he had been regenerated by an unknown phenomenon. After all, it had happened to Harry Kim before.

"I have a gray hair," Henry announced, struck dumb by the first change in his body in centuries.

Seven merely raised an eyebrow. "Are congratulations or sympathies in order?"

"I... I don't know."

"If you are having an overdue midlife crisis, I suggest you consult the Doctor. I cannot commiserate properly; my follicles are synthetically generated and do not gray."

Henry stared at her. The corner of Seven's mouth twitched slightly. "Did you just -- was that a joke? Seven, are you making fun of me?"

"The Borg do not 'make fun,'" she asserted archly. Then a crease appeared between her pale eyebrows. "Was that not the correct way to proceed? Mr. Paris says that uncomfortable situations may be effectively defused with humor. He calls it 'breaking through the funk.'" She frowned. "However, my research shows that 'funk' was an artistic movement in the 20th century, and not a class of mood disorder, so I am uncertain if he is telling the truth or merely 'making fun.'"

"The same term is used for both the dance craze and, um, mood disorder. Personally, I've found them to be closer to cause/effect than synonymous, but I digress. And it was absolutely the correct thing to do," Henry assured her. Odd, how he couldn't stop grinning. And he wasn't even certain it had anything to do with aging. "Seven, would you permit an old man to ask you out for dinner?"

There was no doubt about it this time: Seven's lips curved in a small but definite smile. "That would be acceptable."

[rocket-sith]

So I got a few asks and messages about WTF this was even about. Since this isn't the first time I've encountered an issue like this in fandom, and vague rants aren't particularly helpful, here goes.

IMHO it's extremely important for a writer to be able to differentiate between their own POV about a character or thing, and an in-universe character's POV of another in-universe character or thing. Specifically, a character or thing who the writer (an IRL person on the outside looking in) might love, or hate, or be mildly intrigued by, or just not give a crap about could be viewed ENTIRELY DIFFERENTLY by a different character within the fictional universe.

IRL, you have ST and SW fans who think the Borg or the Sith or whatever are interesting or even cool, and sure there are some characters in those respective universes who feel the same. But there are plenty of in-universe characters who would very much emphatically beg to differ. And the same holds true for individual characters and their views on other individual characters - including themselves (I mean, how many times have you as a fan in any fandom absolutely adored a character who had major self esteem issues?)

The point being - one character's view of another character, or of a concept, or of themselves, does not necessarily reflect a fic writer's view of those characters/concepts.

In S3 of Picard, Seven seemed to have an EXTREMELY rocky and complex dynamic with Shaw, underpinned with equal parts mutual grudging respect, mutual desire to storm off and seethe, and mutual urge to go outside and fight each other in the proverbial parking lot. Sometimes all at the same time, as long as the crew stays alive and well.

Going all the way back to Voyager and continuing all the way through Picard, Seven has major self esteem issues stemming from how people view/treat/react to her appearance, plus her own guilt over what she was forced by the Borg to do during her time in the collective.

Shaw was a Wolf 359 survivor whose "old fashioned grease monkey" pragmatism was at odds with his unaddressed trauma, and he seemed to handle this by recruiting a hyper-capable XO who was also an Ex-B and putting incredible amounts of faith in her while also frequently treating her like shit - to the point of deadnaming her and calling her a Borg while she's also the only one he trusts to be in engineering with him during a crisis when keeping his crew safe is a top priority.

From my POV as an IRL person on the outside looking in, BOTH of these characters need more therapy than can possibly ever be had in a lifetime, but we all know neither of them gets it, and both have already developed so many unhealthy coping mechanisms they'd probably do everything in their power to avoid therapy even if offered (see also: Seven trying to flat out delete the La Sirena EMH's therapist programming, and Shaw admitting out loud that he'd substituted being a jerk for charm as a way of coping with his shit.)

Also from my POV as an IRL person on the outside looking in: Seven is a Chaotic Good full-tilt superhero, Shaw is a Lawful Neutral bordering on Lawful Good captain with unparalleled levels of grit, both are still flawed humans, and both are extremely complex characters who've been through unimaginable levels of hell and ended up coping in different ways - some healthy and some not.

If I write something primarily from Seven's POV, and I write Seven as thinking of Shaw's personality (not his mechanical skills, or his skills at keeping people alive - but skills at approachability and personal interaction) as being that of a total dick, while I also write Seven as thinking of herself as appearing frightening, unapproachable, or Borg-like to others - that doesn't mean MY opinion of either character is anything remotely like that, or even that all in-universe characters would share the same opinion of these characters.

It's the exact same reason why, in the SW fandom, if I was writing something primarily from Anakin's POV (even if it was genfic) - an extremely idealized version of Obi-Wan was often presented because that's how Anakin viewed Obi-Wan. And then I'd come back here and unleash some capslocked screed about how Obi-Wan was the biggest villain in Star Wars, because that's how I view Obi-Wan.

So the other day, I got some (sorry, but it was pretty damn funny) extremely ranty and borderline nonsensical anon comment on this tiny-ass ST fanfic I'd written, accusing me of random BS that I couldn't make heads nor tails of, and also accusing me of bashing Shaw because the fic had a mention of Seven thinking Shaw was a dick. She was also thinking of herself as looking too Borg for others to realistically find trustworthy - and therefore sarcastically commenting to herself that Shaw must really be an ass if half the crew felt more comfortable approaching/confiding in a Borg than approaching/confiding in Shaw.

It was sort of a Seven character study on my part, not a bash at Shaw, so the magnitude of anger in the comment seemed almost Donald Duck levels of disproportionately left-field hilarity. But it also got my brain churning super hard on the topic of character POV vs author POV, and how one impacts the other, and how reader POV also plays into it, and this post (plus some apparent confusion over how nebulously vague and silly the first one was, lol sorry) is the resulting mental vomit.

tl;dr - If you're reading a story, and a fictional character has an in-universe reason to talk shit about another character, or to idolize another character, it doesn't mean anything about how the author personally feels about either character. Similarly, if you ARE the author, and one of your characters has an in-universe reason to talk shit about or idolize another character, letting the character express the sentiment doesn't mean you as a writer share it.

This has been a message from the Emergency Overthinking Writing Rabbit Holes System. *bleeeep*

Y'all. Y'ALL. I got anonymous hate on one of my fics for the first time since 2016. *sniffs* I feel so special!

Dear anonymous wanker:

Half the shit you said didn't even pertain to the fic, and the other half showcased your tragicomic inability to differentiate between the opinion of a story's author and the opinion of a fictional character within the story. *insert Shame Bell here*

tl;dr - Go spank your Twelve Monkeys to Shaw someplace else. There are plenty of amazing Shaw x Seven fics out there. I know because I've read them. I was also trolling an anti in your tags like three days ago on general principle while looking for fics, so once again - please learn to differentiate between the opinion of a writer (real person) and the POV of a fictional character (not a real person, whose feelings and perspectives we can only speculate about, especially regarding a dynamic that's clearly quite complex).

In conclusion, yo mama's so fat, Kirk broke the temporal prime directive by doing a slingshot maneuver around her ass. Also in conclusion - go touch grass. I may or may not be referring to cannabis. No stolen pots were harmed in the making of this post. This has been a message from the emergency GTFO system. *beeeeeep*

[oluka]

No powers

A fill for the @stevetonygames (team canon), square “No powers��, challenge “new shoes”. 302 words, based on EMH s2 ep15

You're petrified, held in place by the terrible stroke of lightning that decended upon yourself, Steve and Thor. The armour protects you from the worst of it, but you can hear both of your teammates screaming in pain. This can't be natural, you think. The storm doesn't look natural, all swirling masses that aren't clouds, almost as if the sky itself has started bending and twisting. You cry out when you feel the armour around you shift and change. You don't know what is happening, and you can't even begin to theorize what is going on, which scares you more than the fact that the HUD has gone dark. The electricity finally stops, and you suck in a shuddering breath. Next to you, Steve and Thor are gasping in surprise. You look at your hands through the eyeslits, and it's your turn to gasp. This is... this is the first armour you ever built. But how did you build it? You can't quite get a grasp on it. This isn't good, a part of you whispers. Your brain isn't working well. Another part of you, more insistent, urges you to check on Steve. He's lost the serum. Thor has lost his godliness, and you three are sitting ducks now. The Wrecking Crew, who seconds ago where getting their asses beat, now chuckle menacingly. Today is not going well at all, you muse. You need to find a way to get your powers back. But first, you need to help Steve. It must be so terrible for him, to be back to his scrawny self. You can see he's taking this hard. You have the strangest urge to hug him, to soothe him, to tell him that everything will be okay-- you shake your head. Focus, Stark, fight now, pine after Steve later.