#so there might be some substantial editing before all is said and done
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Apparently, we are now moving fully into the realm of angst... 🙈
This chapter (of technically still the same story, though we are moving further away from the original prompt with every paragraph 😅) is veering into explicit AU territory of the "Everyone lives, no-one is turned into a Borg Queen" variety. I'm not sure how much I'll go into the details of how we got here, some of it will definitely come up during this chapter, but I haven't picked the fix-it version I like best for season 2. So for now, let's just say: "S2 happened mostly the same, except Agnes and Rios have returned safely with the rest of the motley crew."
(also: not sure how coherent this is, but it is late and I'm trying not to stay up until 2am for once. I'll do some proper editing before I post this to AO3 in the semi-near future 😋)
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“How are you today, Dr Jurati?”
Despite herself, Agnes had to smile. “Emil, how many times have I told you to call me Agnes?”
“Force of habit.” She could hear that the EMH, too, was smiling. Or… he would have been smiling, if he currently had a physical matrix.
“How are you doing?” she asked, leaning back in her chair and looking at the ceiling. As an academic with contacts in faraway sectors, it wasn’t unusual for her to have calls that were voice-only. Even with the latest advances in subspace communications technology, the latency of inter-quadrant calls was greatly reduced if you didn’t try to submit an image at the same time.
Still, this wasn’t your average voice call, and it was difficult to stop herself from picking at the corner of the loudspeaker, where a slim gap had formed between rim and grill that was vibrating ever so slightly every time the device emitted the EMH’s voice.
Emil seemed to be pondering her question. After a long moment, he said: “All my systems are operating within normal parameters. The ones I have access to, anyway.” He sighed. “It really is rather inconvenient, but I suppose this has to count as an improvement.”
Agnes ran a finger along the edge of the speaker. “Well, I’m glad to finally be talking to you again.”
“We spoke only last week,” the EMH said mildly.
Agnes rapped a knuckle against the grill. “That wasn’t the same.”
There was a brief pause before Emil said: “No, it wasn’t.” Another pause, then: “I’m glad, too. I’ve missed our chats.”
For a moment, silence hung between them as each dwelt on their own thoughts. Finally, Emil made a noise like he was clicking his tongue, even though in his current state, he had neither the tongue nor the palate to perform this action. When he spoke, he sounded a lot more composed. “Commandr Barclay is to be commended; I didn’t expect he’d make progress this quickly.”
“I was pretty amazed, too. I guess the new algorithms helped more than we’d thought.” Agnes felt a familiar tingle on her right cheek and she started fiddling with the zipper-pull on the edge of her sleeve.
Even though he didn’t have any meaningful access to the ship’s visual sensors, Emil must have noticed her sudden discomfort, because he asked: “Would you like to talk about that?”
Agnes pulled the zip up a few centimetres, then back down to her wrist. “I’m really sorry we haven’t been able to fully untangle your programmes.”
“That’s not what I —”
“It should only be a matter of time now,” Agnes continued quickly. “I had a message from professor L’Nel this morning. She’s finally managed to look at the data we sent her, and she thinks we can significantly reduce the risk of algorithmic fragmentation. We’ll probably have to work backwards to your root architecture and save all alterations and augmentations along the way, but with a large enough external processor, it should be doable.”
“Dr Jurati…”
The zipper had gotten snagged and no matter how hard Agnes pulled, she couldn’t free it again. “I was thinking we might ask Seven and Raffi if they have time for a detour to Vulcan. I still have contacts at the Science Academy and who knows. With my new-found powers of persuasion, I might just get them to lend us their supercomputer for a few hours.” She was babbling now, but she couldn’t make herself stop. “It would take some time to iron out all the kinks in interoperability-interfacing, but now that Ian can help us with insights into Sirena’s computer system, we’re a lot closer to a solution.”
“Agnes.”
The zipper finally came loose, but she had pulled on it with so much force that it slipped over the delicate stopper at the hem of her sleeve cuff and landed on the desk with a quiet clink. Agnes took a deep breath, staring at her now permanently zipped-up sleeve. So much for getting unstuck…
#star trek picard#star trek picard fanfiction#agnes jurati#emil (emh)#i'm not 100% sure where i'm going with this#or whether anything in this bit is going to turn into An Metaphor(tm)#(i'm usually not good at doing those on purpose 😅)#so there might be some substantial editing before all is said and done#but maybe that'll be good motivation for a re-read if and when this goes up on ao3 🙈#anyway#lili's writing adventures#writing accountability#AND IT IS PRE-2AM! PROGRESS!!!
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May 1st Progress Update
Hello all!
Very long update, so I apologize ahead of time.
April has been an incredibly productive month for me. I've made substantial revisions and have taken some time to reflect on possible changes for the future.
There are decisions I made earlier in the development of this story that, in hindsight, could have been handled better. While I will continue with the upcoming update as planned, I intend to take additional time afterward to revisit and refine various aspects of the game.
I truly love this story and want it to be the best it can be. I aim to look back on it with pride and minimal regrets. These changes will be comprehensive, affecting everything from narrative elements and gameplay mechanics to the presentation on itch.io.
I hope this update doesn't cause any concern; rather, I want to share this as part of my journey in developing this game, a process that occasionally requires stepping back and reassessing to move forward effectively.
With that said, here are some developments I've been working on that I haven't yet discussed. If you have any thoughts on some of these, I'd welcome the insight:
Guilt System Overhaul: I'm currently refining the code for the guilt system. The upcoming changes will significantly alter how guilt is calculated and displayed, emphasizing the impact of your relationships. For instance, lying to a character you're romancing will carry more weight. However, I'm carefully considering how to balance this to respect player agency, recognizing that not everyone may want their character to feel guilty in such situations. Your feedback on this would be appreciated before I start making final decisions — edit: you are welcome to comment on this post! (Sorry ;-;)
Skill System Overhaul: The foundation for the new skill system is done and functional in a test environment. However, I'm still evaluating whether its inclusion genuinely enhances gameplay or if it complicates things unnecessarily.
Extensive Coding Overhauls: Overall, I've done so much coding that I couldn't begin to tell you what all I've done. I combined things to both organize and streamline (though this might just effect me overall).
There is more to share, but I want to keep some surprises under wraps for now.
Future Support Update: I am in the process of setting up a Patreon, which I aim to launch next month. Initially, I considered using Ko-Fi for all supporter interactions, but the exclusive access features offered by itch.io make Patreon a better fit for what I want to achieve.
On Patreon, I will be providing a couple tiers. While one offers more than the other, here's a general overview of what I'll be offering: detailed progress updates, sneak peeks, alpha builds, special acknowledgments, early access, among others.
Ko-Fi will remain available for those who prefer to offer one-time support. Your support, whether recurring or one-time, is immensely appreciated and makes a significant difference in the continued development of my projects.
Beta Testing: Given the aspects of Patreon, how I approach beta testing in the future will be different. However, I will continue as I did last time with this one.
This month, I am aiming to begin the beta testing phase for the new Vice System. In light of changes to the test's parameters, previous applications have been cleared. If you're interested in participating, please reapply.
Please note, this test covers a lot of adult content — you must be 18 or older to participate (though really, you should be 18+ if you're even reading my story *finger wagging*). Ensure you are comfortable with explicit content before applying.
Application is found here.
Tumblr Asks: I will be making a separate post soon to address the reopening of Asks. Please be patient with me as I work through a couple of reasons why it was temporarily disabled. I appreciate your understanding and look forward to hearing more from all of you soon!
Closing Thoughts: Sorry again for the lengthy update, but thank you all for your patience as I continue refining and revising. Work on Chapter 3: Part Two is progressing, though there's still more to be done.
Wishing you all a wonderful month ahead!
#within your eyes if#wye progress update#wye general information#interactive fiction#work in progress#progress update#text based game
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Hi hello. I miss y'all. That is my own fault but it's still true, and I'm writing this on saturday night and feeling maudlin about how wonderful and talented and dear this fandom is and how I never join in anymore, so I'm making my little post okay.
I'm going with Musical Chairs again because it's so far past time for that to be done. And I've said this before, but it is approaching done. And I'm gonna get into that, but it'll all be behind the scenes rambling, so it's below the cut, and for those who don't want to delve that far, here is some freshly written Penny POV.
“Ah,” Shepard smiled, “a good deed wasn’t motive enough on its own?” “Not when it’s for a stupid reason.” “What is your un-stupid reason?” “Un-stupid?” Penny repeated. She turned resolutely to her drink. “Nevermind. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” “Hey now,” Shepard said, ducking into her line of sight. “You struck me as someone who prefers being honest.” It was a job not to smile at that, but Penny put the work in.
Now for the mess.
It's a good mess I think. I have a new section in my miscellany document, tucked in between nine (9) sections of ramblings and cut scenes, and the new section is called "we got it this time boys," and I think it's right. I've written a full draft of the scene that's been holding us all back. It's there in its entirety, it just needs to be edited. And I'm so scared to reread it, because every time I think I got this scene right I come back and it's wrong. Which I've decided to be fine with, because so what!!! So what if I got 36k right and there's 5k that doesn't quite hit the way I want it to!!! The earth will keep spinning!!!
Anyway, "we got it this time boys" is 3 pages of what is technically kind of an outline for 5 pages of story, and every time I read the header it's in the voice of someone from some black-and-white hardboiled detective noir, which brings me the joy that might be the only reason I feel I've gotten it right in the first place. The outline is all written about as cohesively as it starts:
I think maybe, and gosh haven’t I said this a million times, I just need to stop trying to go that way. Stop trying to go any way. Like always “how do I get them to this moment” instead of “what would they do in this situation.” Unfortunately, the latter requires I connect with them on a level I’m not sure I can right now. But I guess let’s try. Actually let’s go for a walk, I can see the sun setting on the top of the house across the way and it’s lovely. Okay nice, it was lovely. Relaxing, refreshing. Saw a stump that looked like a beaver. Saw a cat. Thought of the opening to something I’m never going to write. So anyway,
It also sort of ends with:
Oh shit came up on an obstacle immediately. [Redacted]. This does not actually open the door for Baz to say something that can incite “[Redacted].” Fuck god okay whoops already going completely back on all I’ve decided and thinking maybe we could keep some of the new exchange I’d written, maybe he does reveal the ugh no stop I hate this. Just figure out a transition to bring in [...], what would Baz say to that other than what I’ve written him saying to that which doesn’t work for what I’m trying to do. I guess it could just be, like…he murmurs incorrigible. Or something. With a raised brow, a la baz. Sure let’s do that, however, I’ve laid down to do this and learned I’m actually quite sleepy, so let’s do it another time. Hopefully I don’t come up on another immediate problem and despair. Just remember not to start combining things and rereading things yet, okay. Please.
This would be alarming if I hadn't already gotten past this point and written the thing. So I'm going to go into editing it with the mindset that nothing substantial shall change and boohoo to me if I want it to, and once that's done we're pretty much home free.
Now tags.
Gonna dip a toe back into being melancholy and wistful about this fandom k, I really do miss it even though I'm the only one keeping me out. You're all my friends even if that is a surprise for you to hear because we haven't talked in months or maybe ever, but I love each and every one of you x
@fatalfangirl @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @moodandmist @cutestkilla @artsyunderstudy
@bookish-bogwitch @aristocratic-otter @mooncello @noblecorgi @alexalexinii
@rimeswithpurple @ivelovedhimthroughworse @basiltonbutliketheherb @whogaveyoupermission @facewithoutheart
@martsonmars @iamamythologicalcreature @run-for-chamo-miles @thewholelemon
@forabeatofadrum @youarenevertooold @ileadacharmedlife @monbons
#remember when this was supposed to be the fun one shot I worked on when I didn't have the energy for other things#ha ha#btw I checked myself#this scene that's been stopping this train on its tracks is 2k#2 k#stopped the whole show#six sentence sunday#my writing
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Bestiaryposting Results: Gerzlaem
I'm currently out of state visiting family, so this post might be a bit brief. Anyway, we've got us a new critter. If you don't know what that's about, you can find out at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting.
You can find the description of the critter in question here:
The one we're doing next is here if you want to join in:
And this week's art is below the cut.
@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) gives us these Definitely Mammals that are rather difficult to classify. I always enjoy this effect of "it doesn't really look like anything, but it looks like it would fit in as a reasonable animal design." There's substantial additional information about these critters in the linked post.
@coolest-capybara (link to post here) has drawn something delightfully bizarre, and I really enjoy both the design and style here. Again you may find additional information in the linked post.
@citrvsdrake (link to post here) was inspired by the description of the Gerzlaem pulling food back out of its stomach -- apparently this is a frog behavior, so we have the very frog-like feline you see before you. That is an unsettling face to have staring at you, but it is a clever decision I think.
@cheapsweets (link to post here) has decided to draw all three types of Gerzlaem even though the entry only actually describes two of them -- they propose that the third type is just intermediate between the other two. I also need to acknowledge the "scorpion" in the back there; excellent. For a detailed explanation of this image, please see the linked post.
@pomrania (link to post here) has doodled various elements of the entry for us here, and seems to have settled on a canine interpretation. I'm... fascinated by what's going on with that ape there. Some of these are very expressive too. More about all of these in the linked post.
@wendievergreen (link to post here) posits that the three different types of Gerzlaem are the same animal in different seasons, and has drawn this goat/cougar creature in various stages of wooliness. I think this is a good idea, and the art style is pleasant. You can get more information from the linked post, though an explanation for the song lyrics is not included.
@strixcattus (link to post here) has drawn us some dog-like critters which I can't type too much about because I saw their post right after I posted this one and now I'm hurriedly editing. As usual, there's a naturalist-style description in the linked post that I recommend checking out. Good dog-things here all around.
Now, to the Aberdeen Bestiary...
...actually we don't have a picture for this one. And it's not a missing or damaged page this time -- there isn't an illustration for this one in the Ashmole Bestiary either. It's the first entry in the bestiary, and I guess the fancy initials used up too much of the illumination budget:
Of course, this is a long entry, so they could have put the illustration on the next page, but I don't want to backseat-scribe here. Here's the one from MS Bodley 764, though, so we can see what it looks like:
Yep, that's a lion all right.
The lion is typically the first entry because it has that "king of beasts" reputation -- bestiary authors and others in the intellectual tradition of the time took the idea of some sort of animal hierarchy seriously and made sure the lion got pride of place. I think it's a Great Chain of Being thing, but honestly I just haven't done enough research on that whole concept to speak on it in an informed manner.
A lot of the rest of the entry is allegory, but some of it seems to just be nonsense of its own tradition. I suppose the lion's tail does look something like a brush, so I can see the steps there, but most of it I could not explain. This includes what exactly this thing is supposed to be:
We learn of small beasts called leontophones, lion-killers.
No idea. If you know, tell me please.
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THE ANCIENT EQUESTRIAN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM - POST-MAKE YOUR MARK CHAPTER 4 EDITION
Hello there! I’m here to sort of give a follow-up to a post I made a while back about G5 after having established it has a connection with G4 how it might have to go forward about it. Ever since then, the G4-G5 connection has been… inconsistent at best. The comics perhaps have the most direct link what with the Mane 5 meeting Discord which is never referred to in either Make Your Mark and presumably not in Tell Your Tale (I have not watched much tell your tale, though sorry. I feel like I just can’t get past the art style and the fart jokes I heard about they did with Sparky (Did they really have to do that to one of the most sympathetic characters in all of MLP? Misty did not deserve that one iota) absolutely was a deal breaker for me.)
And Chapter 3 while it did have the Twilight cameo and maybe a vague idea of how Opaline rised to power… it didn’t really give us a whole lot to go off of it feels like. So I didn’t really feel like giving much thoughts on it.
But Chapter 4 has certainly provided something that’s substantial enough to discuss… but I’m not confident it’s for all the right reasons.
For the sake of those who have not seen Chapter 4 of Make your Mark, I shall put the rest after a Keep reading line section. As the first thing you’ll see.. is a very significant image that is a pretty direct spoiler from Make Your Mark Chapter 4. If you have already seen Chapter 4, or don’t really care enough to avoid spoilers feel free to continue reading.
youtube
^Probably most G4 fans reaction to this image
Before I really dig into this thing, there is some speculation that this is all just more gas lighting by Opaline about her origins to Misty and none of the details are true since there seems to be multiple versions of how Opaline came to be a threat. But… I’m not sure I see any intentional use of the “Joker origin story” trope where everything Opaline has said about her origin is a lie. I’m not sure the writers will actually make that a plot point when it seems like they have it all simplified for children watching (They won’t even share what Zipp knows about alicorns to the audience for crying out loud!). I feel like the idea that Opaline may be lying about this entirely may be giving the writers of G5 a little too much credit here. If I’m wrong, I’ll fully own up to it. But for now, let’s presume that Opaline is telling the truth or at least mostly the truth.
So to get this out of the way…
WHAT THE BUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK?!
So… let me get this straight… Opaline has been around ever since Celestia and Luna were fillies. That in itself is hard to map out the time for that. But then you gotta start thinking. If she’s been around for that long? What in Equestria was she doing in the time since the royal sisters were kids up until G5? In short, what was she doing DURING the events of Friendship is Magic and so on and so forth? Why didn’t she say take advantage when the Celestia was the only ruler for about 1000 years?
And if she’s the one that ruined the peace in Equestria ultimately, why does she feel way too incompetent to have been the one to to have done so? Opaline doesn’t even find out Misty has betrayed her at the end, if she can’t even keep track of her ONE AND ONLY MINION. How in Equestria did she end the most peaceful era in Equestria’s history?
Another question that might be even worse? How come Celestia and Luna didn’t tell Twilight or the rest of Equestria about Skyros? I mean yeah, obviously neither Opaline or Skyros actually existed meta-wise when developing Friendship is Magic. But this is the kind of stuff that seems to prove that the idea of connecting G4 and G5 was always just an afterthought. This just doesn’t work with what Friendship is Magic has established even with it’s vague look at Alicorn lore. Apparently a land of the Alicorns exists now? Just how many Alicorns are there actually? Apparently the Journal of Two Sisters implied there was a place of Alicorns, but the problem of course is Friendship is Magic contradicted said journal with Flurry Heart’s birth in Season 6.
Also, if Opaline has lived that long. That actually makes it very possible for Celestia, Luna, Twilight, Cadence, and Flurry Heart to all be still around somewhere. Cause I guess G5 just confirmed that alicorns are truly immortal in terms of dying from old age. Honestly, at this point I wonder if things are about to get crazy and it turns out the rest of the Mane 6 got to become Alicorns too and are hanging out in Skyros or whatever just for an excuse to return all the beloved characters to G5. It’d be an utterly stupid thing to do, but it almost feels like it isn’t impossible the way they’ve approached the connection between G4 and G5 so far.
It’s just… ugh, ridiculous. Opaline was ignored by Celestia and Luna as fillies and she waits like how ever many years before bringing Equestria down during TWILIGHT’S reign rather then while Celestia (The one she probably blames more for why she plotted to take magic away) wasruling. Like why? Why did she wait so damn long? Perhaps it’s another case of simply being sealed somewhere for a definite amount of time just like Luna on the moon for a thousand years for all we know. But right now the details are sparse about this and it’s never been said that Opaline got out of some sealed space like Limbo or Tartaurus
But what is perhaps the absolute worst crime of the image…
WHY IS YOUNG CELESTIA’S HAIR NOT PINK?! RUINED FOREVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEERRRRRRRRR! #NOTMYMLP
(I’m kidding by the way, that’s just nitpicking lol)
Regardless, while Chapter 4 of Make Your Mark has some pretty decent and cute moments. It might even be the best piece of G5 media ever since the movie came out. However, any connection they make with G4 continues to be a headache that adds more questions than answers. There has been nothing to really downplay the idea that it’d have been much better if they had made sure G5 was it’s own universe just like G1 and G3 are entirely different universes from G4.
Another worry I have about G5 is actually something that might be out of Hasbro’s control. Netflix has a tendency to cancel shows, even if they’re doing well. How much time does G5 have before Netflix decides it’s done? Supposedly Make Your Mark has 1 more special and probably another Chapter/Season to go. But I wonder if the team behind G5 are going to be under the possibility that this next batch of Make Your Mark could be the last one if Hasbro and/or Netflix decide they’re not renewing for another season. Granted, even Friendship is Magic had to deal with that possibility. As Magical Mystery Cure would have been the series finale had FiM not been as successful as it was to get renewed for Season 4 and so on. But that was a time where Hasbro still had been very profitable, where as lately there’s been reports of them possibly selling some of their properties, not to mention laying off employees. How much can G5 of MLP carry on under these circumstances? There’s even fears that My Little Pony as a whole may end altogether based on how bad Hasbro has fallen financially. I don’t know if it’s quite that bad for them. But I wonder if it really says something for the company now that it looks like it has clearly not captured the same lightning in a bottle that G4 did.
Now obviously, I’ve said before that even if G5 turned out to be amazing it’d still have a hard time living up to G4 just because the peaks FiM achieved are unsustainable. Part of the reason FIM was so successful was the surprise that an MLP show grew such a diverse audience in the first place. But now that MLP has attracted a larger amount of fans then expected, it just becomes… the status quo that there are people who you normally wouldn’t think be watching a show about cartoon ponies. It’s no longer a shock that a grown man is watching a show about ponies with G5, that was part of what made G4 successful. People wondering why adults of all ages were watching a show presumably for little girls, some of whom became fans of the shows themselves as their curiosity grew. G5 wasn’t going to be able to capture that feeling all over again as a grown man watching MLP is now old news. That’s why even if it was great, it’d have a hard time repeating what brought so many to G4.
It’s even harder when… it just doesn’t feel like G5 stands out much in my opinion. The Mane 5 (Or well, new Mane 6 now after the end of this chapter. In fact Misty just may very well be G5’s best character) are all fine characters in their own right, but the Equestria in G5 seems… lifeless compared to the one in G4. They’re almost always in the same 3 locations that have been there since the movie. There’s no sense of real exploration and real fantasy like there was in G4. While most of FiM takes place in Ponyville there was still the very idea that Equestria is a wide map, with even locations that are only mentioned and not ever actually gone to. That was a disappointment before in G4 where we never got see like Saddle Arabia for instance. But we still got plenty of other areas throughout G4’s run besides Ponyville, Canterlot, and Cloudsdale. And that's also ignoring the fact that besides Sparky and the animals, we've really not seen any other species from G4 still. (The cliffhanger of Chapter 4 seems to imply more dragons are coming but... I wonder if it's too little, too late at this point)
It feels like for me, the only reason to keep watching G5 is to see how Misty’s story plays through. And whatever is going to be Opaline’s final comeuppance. (Granted her own idiocy seems to be a comeuppance for her every episode). Izzy can still be fun to watch too, but otherwise the only other interest in terms of tying things with G4 just often makes things worse as with the story about Opaline knowing Celestia and Luna when they were fillies. Perhaps I’m just overthinking things too much, and I’m sure some may just insult me by simply calling me a G4 purist. Call me one all you like if you want. But something about G5 has not left me as invested with the series as I was with Friendship is Magic. I’ve given it a chance to try to warm up on me over time. But not much is doing it for me right now. I’ll continue to watch to see how Make Your Mark proceeds, as I mentioned earlier the next set could even be the end of G5 since I’m very aware of how much Netflix has canned things early alongside with Hasbro facing financial problems. I won’t say if I have a solution for MLP’s future as I don’t think I have a real solid idea. Every possibility runs it’s own risk. Like if G5 is considered a failure, and Hasbro decides Gen 6 is basically a reboot of Gen 4 with the Mane 6 we knew and loved for one last attempt to keep the Gen 4 fans invested or just pulling the plug and letting Gen 6 be entirely new even at the risk that it interests almost nobody.
Maybe it’s not quite THAT bad for G5 as of yet as it’s still only a few years since it started and I apologize if it maybe I'm overreacting to a small scene. Maybe depending on how many views Chapter 4 of Make Your Mark gets we’ll soon get news if Make Your Mark has been green lighted for more past what we know is still coming. For now though, G5’s only added more questions then answers for me personally since the last time I talked about the link between it and G4. And it may be at a point where it’s just too late to fix anything. Perhaps it’d be a smarter move to just try to ignore any reference to G4, or just to try to consider it an AU future of G4. Because I still have the same conclusion I had whenI last covered the “Ancient Equestrian Elephant in the Room”, G5 has some fine characters and content on it’s own. But if you take it as a Friendship is Magic sequel, then it has many shortcomings that currently look like they just can’t try to fix without making things worse.
I wouldn’t fault the G5 staff if they decided that they want to try to ignore G4 altogether. But I feel like at this very moment, Hasbro execs are breathing down their throats, and telling them that they must write a way to say… fit in the return of Twilight Sparkle in G5. And the dread of what else they could fuck up about the connection between the two generations getting even worse as a result.
#mlp#my little pony#g5#mlp g5#netflix#my little pony: make your mark#generation 5#make your mark#mlp spoilers#spoilers#Youtube
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Who is Jesus of Nazareth?
A Devotional Study of the Gospel of Mark
Mark 5:1-20 — For what do you beg Jesus?
By xapitos. All rights reserved. 2023-24.
Introduction
This study of the Gospel of Mark from the Christian Scriptures follows the premise to take a book at face value. This is a common practice for books. Thus, this study will look at the historical, cultural, archaeological and grammatical context of Mark’s Gospel to see if it truly is what it claims to be, namely the words of the God of the Hebrews, without any errors and final in authority to all that it speaks, claiming that Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ, the Messiah of Israel, who shall deliver his people, and the world of mankind from our rebelliousness against the holy LORD of Israel, King of the universe. If errors are discovered, then the Gospel of Mark will be assumed to be false. Until such a discovery, the book is accepted at face value.
I translate the Gospel of Mark from its Greek manuscripts and follow the paragraph divisions of The Greek New Testament, Third edition by the United Bible Societies. Thus, my Scripture reading may vary from yours here and there in small details. The Hebrew Scripture references are from the Masoretic Text of the Hebrew Scriptures in the Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia edition of the Masoretic Text. The Masoretic Text was copied by Hebrew scribes about 1000 A.D. and has been substantiated by various Hebrew manuscripts, the Dead Sea Scrolls, and the Septuagint (dated third to second centuries B.C.), which is the Greek translation of the Hebrew Scriptures. The English version of the Holy Bible used in this study is the New International Version, known as the NIV.
It is necessary to say a word about the translation of the Greek text. I intentionally translate the Greek as it is written, not smoothing out the English translation, as is done in English Bibles based on the original biblical languages of Hebrew, Aramaic, and Koine Greek. At times, the translation will come across awkward, wooden, and repetitive in English. Translating from one language to another can appear this way. Another involved factor is that it is obvious that God wrote the New Testament the way he did to emphasize what he wanted to emphasize through the Greek grammar and sentence structure. Without translating this way, such divine emphases might be missed by the English.
It is interesting to note, to me at least, that Mark continues to use the conjunction “and,” at the beginning of almost every clause. Some might call this poor grammar. I call it a “child’s heart.” Remember when your children were (or are) young and when they became excited, they just talked and talked, almost without breathing? This is what Mark’s continual use of “and” shows me. He is so excited about Jesus and his story, that it appears that he cannot wait to tell us everything he learned from the apostle Peter (Simon) about Jesus. May each of us have such a child’s heart.
Study
Mark 5:1-20. (1) And they went across the Galilee into the region of the Gerasenes. (2) And when he departed from the boat immediately met him from the tombs a man with a spirit unclean, (3) whose dwelling he had in the tombs, and no one with chains no longer no one was able him to bind, (4) and him often bound and with chains to be bound and to be broken by him the chains and the bindings of his feet to be broken into pieces, and no one was strong enough him to tame (5) and through all the night and day amongst the tombs and the hill country, he was crying and cutting himself with stones. (6) And seeing Jesus from a distance he ran and fell on his knees before him, (7) and crying out with a voice great he said, “What to me and to you, Jesus, son of the God the One Most High? I adjure you God, not me examine by torture. (8) For he was saying to him, “come out the spirit the unclean one from this man. (9) and he was asking him, “What is the name for you?” And he said to him, “Legion a name to me, for many we are. (10) And he beseeched him many times that not them he might send outside the region.
(11) Now there was there on the hillside a herd of pigs large feeding, (12) and they begged him saying, Send us into the pigs, in order that into them we might enter. (13) And he permitted them. And coming out, the spirits, the ones unclean, entered into the pigs, and rushed the herd down the steep bank into the sea, as many as two thousand, and they were drowned in the sea. (14) And those feeding them fled and reported in the city and in the countrysides. And they came to see what is having been. (15) And they were coming to Jesus and looking at the man being demon possessed sitting, being clothed and being in his right mind, the one who had been divided by the Legion, and they were afraid. (16)
This passage is longer than most and is broken into two halves, 5:1-10 and 5:11-20. The first half focuses on Jesus, the man possessed by demons, and the demons themselves. The second focuses on Jesus, the demons, the people of that region and the man. The drama unfolds with confrontation toward Jesus: by the man, the demons, and the people of the region, as well as with emotional intensity seen by some of the words and the grammar used. Only one changes from confrontation to submission. It is important to note Jesus’ response to each group.
And they went across the Galilee into the region of the Gerasenes. The region of the Gerasenes was a region of Gentile peoples
(2) And when he departed from the boat immediately met him from the tombs a man with a spirit unclean. The word used for met is an intensive word, communicating a “strong meeting” in the sense of intensity and is even used of meeting in battle in Luke 14:21 (Abbott-Smith, Manual Greek Lexicon of the New Testament, T & T Clark, 1937, latest impression 1977, page 456).
(3) whose dwelling he had in the tombs, and no one with chains no longer no one was able him to bind, (4) and him often bound and with chains to be bound and to be broken by him the chains and the bindings of his feet to be broken into pieces, and no one was strong enough him to tame…. These verses go into great detail about the strength of this man, due to the demons within him. He is untouchable by other humans…except for one.
(5) and through all the night and day amongst the tombs and the hill country, he was crying and cutting himself with stones. The man lived alone amongst the dead, away from the surrounding people, crying out and cutting himself with stones…abnormal behavior for which no one had a cure. This man is desperate and crazy, literally.
(6) And seeing Jesus from a distance he ran and fell on his knees before him. The transition of the entire passage. Do you see Jesus? Do I?
(7) and crying out with a voice great he said, “What to me and to you, Jesus, son of the God the one most high? I adjure you God, not me examine by torture. Anarthrous description of the voice type. “To me” is plural and emphatic. The second first person pronoun is singular. Many demons, yet one. Either they refer to themselves as many and one, or the man is referred to with the singular pronoun.
Contrary to popular thought and impressions of the biblical God, there is a heaven, there is a hell, there is blessing in eternal life, and there is torture for those who reject him. The legion of demons is fully aware of these truths without question (more knowledgeable and accepting of God’s truth than the majority of humankind) and do not question the reality of these truths. Instead, they beg Jesus son of the most high God not to torture them. They emphasize who Jesus is by not using a definite article with the word son. They know who is in charge.
(8) For he was saying to him, “Come out the spirit the unclean one from this man. Thus far, we have been reading about the demon possessed man and the demons. Verse 8 shifts to what the demons already knew, namely, the authority of Jesus as the son of the Most High God. The demons do not question Jesus’ authority but openly acknowledge who he is and his authority and power over them…I adjure you God, not me examine by torture. Jesus has mercy upon this man and has been commanding the demons to leave the man. Thus, they beg him not me examine by torture.
(9) and he was asking him, “What name for you?” And he said to him, “Legion a name to me, for many we are. This verse shows that Jesus is the one in charge with the authority over demons. It also shows that Jesus set aside his omniscience by taking on human flesh. Jesus asked the name of the demons more than once, as shown by the continual action of was asking. While not questioning Jesus’ authority, demons show their rebelliousness by causing Jesus to continually ask, “What name for you?”. The demons respond in the plural, yet the singular is used of the man speaking. This leads me to believe that both the man and the demons were speaking simultaneously. The sound of which was most likely hideous and distinct for all speaking.
It is obvious from this passage that demons do possess humans and animals (verse 10). They can also control the actions of those whom they possess (verses 3-7), even to the self-harm of the person possessed. They can also speak when the person possessed is speaking (verse 9). The affects upon this man were terrible. He was uncontrollable, stronger than anyone else, able to break chains and fetters, and caused the man to inflict painful harm upon himself, even controlling his moods and vocalizations of crying out and speaking when he spoke. As the demons do not doubt who Jesus is nor his authority over them to control and torture them, neither should we humans doubt the reality of the demonic world, their possession of humans and inflicting pain, harm and disorder in, through and with the lives of those possessed. We each should have a healthy respect for demons but not fear them, as our Lord is Lord over them.
The Legion of demons give an explanation for their name, for many we are. “Many” is emphasized by the way it is grammatically used both by its position before the verb we are and by there not being a definite article used. One can hear the demonic pride in the name and voice, for many we are. Many as they are, they are begging Jesus not me examine by torture. Despite their control over this man, the fear caused in the community, they are no match for Jesus, Son of the God the One Most High.
(10) And he beggeded him many times that not them he might send outside the region. The verb begged is a compound verb denoting intensity/emphasis and ongoing action in the past. Thus, Legion continually, with intensity, begged the Lord not to sent them out of the region. Legion was afraid that Jesus would send them out of the region. Perhaps to be examined by torture (as they spoke of above). Apparently, they had established this region as their notch of the demonic world. They were comfortable there, if there is such a thing as comfort for demons. Legion’s beseeching of Jesus not to send them out of the area, also shows their submission to his authority and the extent of his power as the Son of the God Most High.
Self-reflection
Do you live alone, cutoff from others, hiding amongst the wounds and scars of your life?
How does this passage affect your concept of Jesus and God the Most High?
How does passage affect you regarding the demonic world?
What could happen to a person, who does not believe in Jesus Son of the God the one Most High?
How do the words Jesus son of the God the One Most High affect you?
(11) Now there was there on the hillside a herd of pigs large feeding, (12) and they begged him saying, Send us into the pigs, in order that into them we might enter. (13) And he permitted them. And coming out, the spirits, the ones unclean, entered into the pigs, and rushed the herd down the steep bank into the sea, as many as two thousand, and they were drowned in the sea. (14) And those feeding them fled and reported in the city and in the countrysides. And they came to see what is having been. (15) and they were coming to Jesus and looking at the man being demon possessed sitting, being clothed and being in his right mind, the one who had been divided by the Legion, and they were afraid. (16) And they recounted to them those seeing how was the one having been demon possessed and concerning the pigs, (17) and they began to beg him to depart from their region. (18) And as they were getting of him into the boat, begged him the one having been demon possessed in order that with him he might be. (19) And not he permitted him, but said to him, “Go to your house to your people, and report to them whatsoever the Lord for you had done and been merciful to you. (20) And he left and began to preach in the Decapolis whatsoever did to him Jesus, and all marveled.
(11) Now there was there on the hillside a herd of pigs large feeding…. I have been to the likely spot where this event took place. Not far from a small shrine with beautiful tile in the middle of a hillside for no obvious reason than to commemorate this event and location along the eastern shore of Sea of Galilee, in the region of the Gerasenes. The small shrine begs the question, “What event occurred here (in the middle of nowhere) for there to be this beautifully tiled small shrine?”
(12) and they begged him saying, Send us into the pigs, in order that into them we might enter. (13) And he permitted them. And coming out, the spirits, the ones unclean, entered into the pigs, and rushed the herd down the steep bank into the sea, as many as two thousand, and they were drowned in the sea.
This is the second time that the demons have begged Jesus (an intensive, compound verb) for something. First, it was not to be tortured by him. Now, it is to possess the herd of pigs.
One short sentence says all that needs to be said about who is really in charge, (13) And he permitted them. Three words in the original Greek. The demonic world can do nothing without the permission of the son of the God the One Most High. What does the Legion want to do again? They brought harm and pain to the man now clothed and in his right mind, delivered and protected by Jesus. They are given permission to possess the pigs, which Legion drowns. Pain, harm and destruction are what Legion is known for. Another thing they are known for is begging the Lord for something.
14) And those feeding them fled and reported in the city and in the countrysides. And they came to see what is having been. (15) and they were coming to Jesus and looking at the man being demon possessed sitting, being clothed and being in his right mind, the one who had been divided by the Legion, and they were afraid. (16)
The pig herders fled and told everyone what had happened. They knew that Jesus was connected somehow, as what they reported to the people in that region, led them all to believe that Jesus was responsible for Legion’s actions. Obviously, he is not. He gave them permission, he did not act for them. The pig herders stand in contrast to the delivered man. They, in contrast to him, didn’t speak with Jesus directly. In fear, they ran off to tell everyone what had happened and put the blame on Jesus. In contrast, the delivered man stayed with Jesus and wants to go with him (18). Personally harmed and now personally delivered the delivered man knows who is who here.
(15) and they were coming to Jesus and looking at the man being demon possessed sitting, being clothed and being in his right mind, the one who had been divided, and they were afraid. Verse 15 is the tell all verse for the hearts of the people living in the Gerasenes. The verse is laid out with 8 actions, exactly like a grocery list:
The people were coming to Jesus (with blame)
the people looking at,
the one who had been demon possessed,
sitting,
being clothed
and being in his right mind,
having been divided by the Legion,
and they were afraid.
Looking at carries the idea of making a detailed list of something. Boom, boom boom, the people see all the details of what has supernaturally transpired and they are afraid. Like the Legion, who was fearful of being examined by torture and loosing control of the region of the Gerasenes and of this man, the people are fearful of Jesus as well, but for different reasons. They have lost financial gain and food, due to the drowning of the 2000 pigs that Jesus allowed to happen. They are seeing the demoniac no longer a demoniac, clothed for the first time in a long time, maybe for the first time ever, and in his right mind. He has control of himself. Apparently, some have only known this man as the Legion possessed demoniac. Their response, fear. Just like the pig herders. Not amazement, fear, please leave us fear (16-17). Go away. We don’t want you here Jesus son of the God the one Most High.
(17) The same verb for “begged” in verse 10, is used here. Legion begged to remain in the Gerasene region. The Gerasene people beg Jesus to leave. Obviously, Legion had done their work of controlling the people, some of whom may have also been demon possessed, at least influenced in their thinking by Legion. As Legion didn’t want anything to do with Jesus son of the God the one Most High, neither do the people of this region.
(18) Now it is the sane man’s turn to beg. The same word for begged in verses 10 and 17 is used in verse 18. The first two beggars, Legion and the Gerasene people beg Jesus out of fear and rejection of him. The healed man begs in just the opposite way, “I want to be with you and get to know you.” The healed man believes in Jesus son of the God the one Most High. Unlike Legion and the people in general, he is now a follower of Jesus. Like Legion, he heeds Jesus’ mission for him, namely to be a living testimony to the greatness and wonder of Jesus son of the God the one Most High. That the healed man did so is literally enshrined on a hillside along the eastern shore of the Sea of Galilee for all to see to this very day. He obeyed, spread Jesus’ message of healing and redemption.
(19-20) Again, a staccato of actions.
And by preaching his story of all the things the Lord did for him and how he was merciful to him, the healed man was with Jesus and was the living testimony of Jesus son of the God the one Most High for that entire region. Legion thought they owned the region. The truth is that Jesus owned the region, and the preaching of this changed demoniac, who became the mercy receiver. Mercy begets mercy. By his leaving this preacher of mercy behind for the Gerasene people, Jesus showed mercy to them, even though they rejected him and asked him to leave. Because the business of Jesus son of the God the one Most High is healing and mercy. From demoniac to preacher of power and mercy, the man, now in his right mind, delvers the right message to all.
This time, the people have a different response…they marveled. Fear at first and then wonder and amazement. Maybe the people of the region and the preacher of truth and mercy are the ones who built the shrine on a lonely hillside along the eastern shore of the Sea of Galilee.
Based on the structure of this passage, we can see the authority and mercy of Jesus son of the God the one Most High:
1 Jesus and the Disciples arrive in the Gerasenes
2-5 The Demoniac - tormented by the demons.
6-7 The demons, afraid and submissive, beg Jesus not to torture.
8-9 Jesus Son of the God the one Most High
11-13 The demons, afraid and submissive, beg to indwell
pigs.
14-17 The people are afraid and beg Jesus to leave.
18 The delivered man begs to be with Jesus.
19 Departing,Jesus is merciful and sends his delivered by
mercy.
20a The delievered mercifully preaches the message of mercy.
20b The people marvel at the mercy of God.
Self-reflection
For what do you beg Jesus?
Are you willing to open up the region of your life to Jesus?
Are you like Legion and the Gerasene people, rejecting him for personal reasons? To what “region of” are you holding onto? Power? Money? Food? The status quo?
Is your obedience to Jesus’ call so committed that you do exactly as he tells you to?
In what ways are you merciful?
One day, might someone build a shrine to Jesus and his healing actions and mercy in your life and theirs, all because you obeyed him?
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Smothered (Yamagishi x Reader)
Pairing: Kazushi Yamagishi x Reader
Count: 4.8k
Warnings: female bodied reader, alcohol, femdom, sub!Yamagishi, explicit sexual content, yams is inexperienced, oral (male receiving) face-sitting, orgasm denial, cock rings, overstimulation, use of "mommy" "good boy" and "baby boy", upper echelon timeskip
A/N: this is a Secret Santa gift for @whats-her-quirk who probably already peeped it when I just posted it accidentally. One day I will write the fic I originally promised, but today is not that day, and until then we can saturate this platform with our underrated kings.
p.s. I can't do italics 'cause I'm on my phone and without my laptop and I just do not have it in me to read/edit this a third time. But know... I feel so lost without them.
p.p.s. I love you.
Lights are flashing, bass is pumping, yet you find yourself sitting still in a booth. It feels a little wrong in such a lively atmosphere, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't glad to be off your feet. Besides, you're surrounded by friends, and you'd prefer that to dancing any day.
Makoto is spread out like he owns the damn place while Akkun, the actual club owner, is on another plush cushion, pretty girl straddling his lap and unable to keep her hands off him. Takemichi is attempting to hold a conversation with Takuya and Kazushi while Hina whispers who knows what in his ear. And, you just watch it all, chatting half-heartedly and people-watching.
Person-watching. The solitary figure at the end of the booth, to be specific. Kazushi still has sunglasses on despite being inside, but the strobe lights are bright enough to maybe justify them. You can see the scar bisecting his left eyebrow peeking out from over one of the dark lenses, and you have to make a conscious effort not to lick your lips.
You want him. You've wanted him for a while.
According to his friends he's changed substantially over the last several years, once a dweeby, obnoxious little know-it-all. He comes off as almost the complete opposite now—rugged, dangerous, carries a gun everywhere he goes. He's a gang member for fuck's sake—one of high status. People rely on him. People respect him. People count on him to get shit done.
Only one trait remains from his former personality apparently, a rumor you've only heard from Takemichi and Hina but one you believe.
According to them, Kazushi still remains inexperienced. In the bedroom.
"I don't think he's a virgin," Hinata had told you weeks ago, tongue loose just like her muscles due to all the alcohol she had imbibed that night. "He just hasn't gotten to… explore."
"But, why?" You'd asked, going as far as to mutter, "He's hot," with a little smirk.
Ever since then you've been interested. Some might even say fixated.
Too often you think about pushing the fur-lined jacket from his shoulders, of shoving him on a bed. Toss his glasses somewhere, fist a hand in his long hair—
The fantasies haunt you these days, frustrating you to the point where you've had to get yourself off to the thought of him.
It's getting a little out of hand. You're distracted any time you're in the same room as him, and just to prove this point, you suddenly find a small hand in front of your face, snapping to get your attention.
"Hm—what?" you ask after releasing your bottom lip from between your lips. You've been worrying it while, naturally, staring at Kazushi.
Kazushi who is… staring back. He's usually not ballsy enough for that.
You blink at him a few times, feeling your face heat, then break eye contact to look at Hina.
"You okay over there?" she giggles. "Have a little too much to drink?"
You've had two cocktails. Barely even buzzed.
"Just lost in thought," you tell her over the music.
She smirks, gaze flicking to Kazushi for a moment before replying, "I bet you are."
You narrow your eyes at her, but all she does is stick her tongue out and return to Takemichi.
The lot of you stay tucked in the corner, chatting and drinking the night away until an unsavory crew walks in and Akkun sighs.
"My cue," he says just loud enough for everyone to hear before detangling himself from the girl in his lap.
All of you watch as he saunters away, eventually meeting up with a sharply dressed blond and a couple of thugs.
"Well, you guys wanna take this somewhere else?" Hinata asks, seeming a little put out from the absence of your host.
You shrug, as does everyone else, then scoot your way out of the booth. Honestly, it's what Akkun would want anyway, always concerned with keeping his friends safe from these particular dealings.
"You gonna come, babe?" Makoto asks the girl you barely know.
She seems surprised by the invitation but shakes her head with a smile. "No. I think I'm just gonna head upstairs and wait. Thanks, though."
"Suit yourself."
Making your way to the door, you elbow Makoto, snorting as you ask, "What was that about? We don't even know her name."
"Don't need to know a name to get lucky. Figure if Akkun can pull a bitch like that I can too." He straightens the collar of his jacket then winks at you. "After all, I'm hotter."
"In your damn dreams," you laugh.
Takemichi and Hinata have the largest apartment now, high in the ranks and what-not, so of course, you all find yourselves there.
As you sit on all the fancy couches arranged in a nice, wide circle, each of you drinking more and giggling, you get the feeling that someone is about to suggest something stupid like truth-or-dare—
"When's the last time you guys played Never Never Have I Ever?"
"Pft, probably when I was twelve when it was actually acceptable."
"I dunno," she muses, "Think it'd be a lot more interesting now that we all have more experience."
You don't miss the way Kazushi just barely sinks lower in his seat.
You suppose… it could be fun.
"I'm in," you give in with a wave of your hand. "Not like we have anything better to do."
"You do realize that we're the big guys in Toman, right? Part of the upper echelon?" Makoto sneers.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"We're important. We're—"
"Obviously scared," you say with a click of your tongue.
"Yeah, don't want us finding out about any of your secrets," Hina adds.
"I don't like this," he gestures nebulously toward the two of you. "This whole… girl gang bullshit."
"'Cause you know you won't win."
Takuya finally pipes up, possibly for the first time all night. "Makoto's never been able to say no to a pretty girl, much less two of them."
"Traitor," Makoto hisses.
Takuya is unfazed. "Sounds like it could be entertaining. Why not?"
"So, you're in. That makes three against two!"
"Four," Takemichi says, nuzzling into her ear. "You know I'll do anything you ask, baby."
Despite joining your cause, you can't help but dry heave. It's probably just because Hina and Takemichi have been into freaky shit lately, and he wants to show off.
"Everyone remember the rules?"
"Well enough."
And, so it begins.
Typically, there are a few warm-up confessions before the sex comes up, but none of you seem to have a problem of diving right in tonight as Hinata announces, "Never have I ever had a threesome."
Makoto and Takuya both take a drink.
"Never have I ever had a foursome," Makoto says with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
"Is a foursome considered an orgy or group sex?" Takemichi questions as Takuya is the only one to drink. It makes sense. He's very pretty.
"No idea. Never have I ever shot someone," you add in on your turn.
All the men drink, and you aren't even a little bit surprised.
"Never have I ever fucked a complete stranger."
"Never have I ever done anything sexual in public."
"Never have I ever had a sexual injury."
Hina giggles, and you look at her. "What, is that a lie?"
"Scratch marks don't count," Takemichi elaborates. "Neither do bruises."
"Whatever you say, honey. Never have I ever killed someone."
"Jesus, Hina!"
"That escalated quickly." You glance around, taking note of Takemichi, Makoto, and Yamagishi all drinking, the last of which being… a little unexpected.
"Never have I ever fucked a minor."
Makoto drinks, and both you and Hinata let out a worried, "Ummm," in unison.
"She told me she was eighteen! I don't check fucking IDs," he defends. "And, apparently, neither do the bouncers at Akkun's 'cause that's where I fucking found her."
"Gross."
"Yeah, I'm, uh, not proud of that one," Makoto cringes while rubbing the back of his neck.
It goes on like this for a while, steadily getting dirtier and more shameful. Facials and creampies and nudes that should have been deleted. Amateur porn videos, voyeurism, and then Kazushi mumbling a somewhat tame (in comparison, at least), "Never have I ever come from a blowjob."
"What?"
"Excuse me?"
"Who the fuck you been foolin' around with?"
And, as his friends interrogate him, you throw one of your legs over the other and try to ignore the throbbing between them.
You could get him off. You know you could.
Suddenly, you're wondering what it would be like to kneel between his legs, take him into your mouth, touch all the right places to make him squirm and moan. Sometimes the most inexperienced are the most fun, and oh, you could have fun with Kazushi.
You could always… ask him… if he'd want you to. Offer to please him this way. With just the right amount of booze in your system, you might even be bold enough to do it tonight.
If he says no, he says no, and you can live with that. Never speak of it again.
But, considering the way his eyes have lingered on you for the entirety of this juvenile game, you think that maybe—just maybe—he'll take you up on the offer.
So, another hour later, once all of you are leaving the apartment and getting on separate trains, you're thankful for the fact that Kazushi has to take the same one as you. You sit in the seat next to him. He presses his thigh against yours. And, though neither of you have anything to say, you quickly realize that you both have expectations.
He's been thinking about it just like you.
How very convenient.
It means you don't have to ask him to get off at your stop, means all you have to do is look up at him with doe eyes and a little smirk before he's murmuring a frankly pathetic, "Please," outside your door, so desperate and contradictory of his appearance.
"Mm, absolutely," you grin at him, batting your eyelashes. "Was so hoping you'd ask."
His hands are on your hips as you unlock your door, and you can't even wait as you shove him against the wood to close it. You keep eye contact as you slide down his body, able to see his Adam's apple move with a thick swallow.
You aren't sure when the last time was that you wanted someone this bad, that you were so eager for someone.
But, Kazushi is just so—so—well, he's Kazushi. He's just… something. Different. Wicked smart, a tactician, a bodyguard, someone to be feared like the rest of them.
And, you're unbuckling his belt, pulling his thick cock free, and putting him in possibly the most vulnerable position a man can be in.
You have the power here. Even if his gun is still weighing down the waist of his jeans, you're the one in charge.
Kazushi has a nice cock, not that you really expected anything less. It's fat and heavy—warm, feels good in your hand and even better between your lips as you suckle at his head.
"F-fuck, just don't—don't feel bad if I can't—"
You pull back and stare (almost glare) up at him, trying to muster all the confidence you have and telling him, "Oh, I'm gonna make you come. Don't you worry about that."
He shudders, lets his head fall against the door with a thunk.
You tongue at his slit for a moment, enjoying the way he jerks, then move to take more of him, bobbing slowly and wetting his cock for an easier glide. He's a little too long for you to fit all of him, so what you can't reach, you curl your hand around, jacking him off in time with your mouth.
It isn't like you're an expert, but you've given your fair share of blow jobs over the years. You've definitely picked up some tips and tricks, paid attention to reactions and certain noises.
You're looking for those now, the long hisses, the low groans, the way Kazushi's knees shake, and the way his rough hand finds your hair.
A fair amount of pre is dripping from him and onto your tongue, a little salty, but all it does is make you want to lap at his tip.
"Oh fuck, oh fuck—"
You press your tongue to the underside of his cock, right where his head flares outward, and the fingers on your head tighten just as he thrusts his hips forward. You pull back in time to keep him from gagging you then return to your rhythm.
Kazushi keeps swearing, keeps gasping with every move you make, and you have to wonder if you're that good or if he's just sensitive. He obviously hasn't had decent head in a while now, so it could very easily be the latter.
His cock is twitching in your mouth, and as soon as you reach up and squeeze his balls, he's choking out a garbled, "Oh, god, I'm—" before strings of cum are shooting down your throat.
Your lips curve upward around him, probably looking like the cat that got the cream (almost literally), and you make sure to keep sucking as you pull off of his cock, making Kazushi whimper and rock his hips clumsily.
Out of breath, his head lolls forward so he can look at you with slow roving eyes and a lazy smile.
"Holy shit."
You use his jacket to pull yourself up to your feet, then wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.
"Now, you've gotta think of something else to use for that stupid game."
"Yeah," he laughs, "Guess so."
You're a little surprised when he brings you in for a kiss, figure he probably isn't used to the taste of his own cum, but he doesn't seem to mind as he pushes his tongue into your mouth.
"That was… kind of awesome," he mutters between kisses.
"Just kind of?"
"Fine. It was pretty mindblowing."
You have to fight a devious smile, the kind that's made men shiver before.
"You don't know the definition of mindblowing, baby boy."
He blinks at you. Smacks his lips. Then casually tells you, "I am dangerously aroused by that."
"As you should be."
"That mean I get to return the favor?"
Nibbling on your lip, you think about it. You could definitely go for an orgasm, can feel the slick that's gathered in your panties. Plus, he's a good kisser, so that tongue paired with the bit of facial hair he has—that would probably feel divine.
However, there is something you'd like more than an orgasm right now, and it's to keep Kazushi wondering.
Wondering what else you're capable of. Wondering what else you could do to him. Wondering about all the ways you could get him off.
Yes, that's infinitely preferable, and it's not like you can't just schedule a date with your vibrator later tonight.
"Tempting but… another time," you sigh. "It's getting late anyway."
"But—"
You put a hand on his chest, splay your fingers so that you can feel his heartbeat and his pecs.
"I'll be fine, so for now just think of me when you jerk off or something."
"I'll think about you for the rest of my life. Got me smitten now. Weak at the knees—"
You shove him so that he stumbled against the door again, snickering and teasing, "Dork. That's all it takes?"
He shrugs. "I'm easy."
"Obviously."
You shoo him off with a sloppy kiss, a little afraid that if you spend more time with him, you'll start getting all loose-lipped and admitting to having a crush on him. How embarrassing.
Feelings for a dangerous fucking gang member. Ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as him letting you seduce him or whatever that was.
Questionable decisions on both your parts. And, even more to come.
xxx
Kazushi thinks he might be addicted to your pussy.
Things have progressed smoothly since that first night—oh god, that first night—but a lot of that probably has to do with keeping everything on the down low.
Kazushi tells you it's to keep you safe. You say you don't want to have to deal with Hina and Takemichi which is valid. It works out well for the both of you.
Though you haven't talked about it out loud, Kazushi has a feeling you know that he's lacking in the bedroom area. It's mostly by choice—he can come on a little strong—but it also has a bit to do with growing up as an irritating nerd who was made fun of and cast to the side and straight up tortured from time to time. That'll do a number on anyone's self-esteem.
He's healed mostly, but when it comes to women, he still has some trouble. Either talking too much out of nervousness or not enough out of self-preservation. He can't seem to find a balance.
With you, though, things are easier. Mostly because there isn't much talking, not until after anyway, when you're both blissed out and unguarded.
You're also giving him a chance to explore a little more, both himself and you. Things he likes, things he wants to learn more about, things he wants to do and let you do.
It's… surprising. Kazushi spent most of his adolescence and adult life fantasizing about all the ways he could touch a girl, but it turns out—
"Good boy," you moan in his ear, grinding against his cock from your perch on top of him. "You're being so good for me, Kazushi."
He wants to come. Wants it so bad. But, you told him not to, to hold back until you give him permission.
It's just… The way you're moving over him, the way his cock—rock fucking hard—is sliding between your wet folds over and over again in possibly the lewdest sex act he's ever partaken in.
He's been so much deeper before, fucked into you until you can't think straight anymore, but something about this seems so dirty, the shit he dreamed about as a horny teenager. The way you're drenching him in slick and moaning every time his drooling tip hits your clit. Kazushi thinks you might be able to come from this, and he probably could too, but you told him not to, god dammit.
There's also something he'd rather do to get you to climax. You haven't let him taste you yet, and he doesn't know why. What he does know is that he wants it so bad.
The last time he asked you'd told him, "I like things a certain way, baby boy." (That drives him absolutely crazy, makes him whine, lose his mind). "I don't know if you're prepared for it just yet."
"Please, please," he huffs when you curve yourself over him.
You nip at his bottom lip and hum, "What is it?"
"Let me—I wanna go down on you, you've done s-so much for me, and—"
You straighten up but keep gyrating as you hold a finger to your face as if you're in thought.
"Maybe," you smirk, grabbing his hand from your chest and squeezing. "If you ask nicely."
"I s-said please," he pants.
"Please what?"
His eyes roll to the back of his head as you grind down onto his cock, your lips parting around him and soaking him.
"Please, mommy," he groans.
That's something he hadn't known about himself until the other night, but god dammit does it make his dick twitch.
"Hmm. I don't know if I'm quite convinced."
Kazushi doesn't understand how you can act so unfazed, all but riding him and looking like you're doing some mundane activity instead.
"Mommy, please," he tries again. If you don't move from him soon, he will absolutely come. "Please, please, fuck, mommy, please."
"There we go, that's more like it."
You swing a leg over him to dismount, then, to Kazushi's surprise, tell him to get comfortable if he isn't already. He frowns but still grabs a pillow to stuff under his head, rolling his shoulders to loosen up, not that oral is particularly taxing for him, not the way giving head to a guy is, he imagines.
Kazushi is curious though because the only way he's pleasured a woman like this has been when he's between their legs, fingers digging into their thighs, so why the fuck is he still on his back?
"Has a girl ever ridden your face before, Kazu?"
His eyes widen, and he nearly comes on the spot, has to reach down and squeeze the base of his cock.
"Uh, no."
You pout. "Shame," then prance to your nightstand and pull something from it.
Kazushi's stomach flips when you show him the silicone ring and smirk. "To keep you from breaking your promise."
Fuck, you're gonna kill him. You will be the death of him. Not a shoot out. Not a drug deal gone wrong. It'll be you.
He lets out a little, "Hah," as you carefully push the lubed up cockring down his shaft, instructing him to pull his balls through the second ring, and the squeeze is maddening and beautiful, and it makes him fist himself a few times.
"You think you're ready?" you question, all sing-song and knowing.
"So ready. Wanna taste your pussy so bad, mommy."
You don't hesitate in kneeling on the bed by his head, bracing a hand on the mattress then positioning your knees close to his ears. Still, you don't lower yourself, hovering just above Kazushi so that he can admire the view, craning his neck to lick you, and the gasp you let out is so, so satisfying, he needs to hear it again.
So, Kazushi, feeling a little emboldened, reaches up to grip your thighs and pull you down to him.
"Oh—"
Before you can move, Kazushi has his fingers wrapped around you, kneading flesh as he shoves his tongue into your clenching hole as deep as he can.
You taste even better than he imagined, tangy and sweet and you, and Kazushi wants more.
"Let me know if you need air," you tell him in an airy voice.
He moves his head enough to run his chin up your slit then tells you, "I would literally rather die."
Then, he has his whole face buried in you again. He sucks and slurps, shakes his head, wriggles his tongue. You slowly relax on top of him, the weight of you bearing down until you're sitting fully.
Kazushi groans, opening his mouth wider to taste more of you, more of you, all of you, please—
"Fuck, baby, good boy, good boy," you moan, your hand fisting in Kazushi's hair as you begin to rock back and forth, and now he gets it—face riding. You taking exactly what you want from him, making his nose bump against your clit, making coarse hair rub over your sopping hole, making him melt and let you do whatever you want.
He'll gladly suffocate if it means he can keep hearing you moan his name. Death by pussy. The best way to go.
"You feel so good, baby, did you know that?"
He lets out a pathetic groan, fingers digging into your skin a little harder.
"So good for mommy. I'm so proud of you."
Kazushi can feel his cock straining upward, his balls tightening, but it won't come of anything. He's absolutely throbbing and ready to pop, feels like he's already dripping cum, but he's not because you won't let him.
He's rutting up into the air as if it'll help, and the motion of it must get your attention because you twist around to watch, laughing in a condescending way before cooing, "Are you ready to come?"
He nods straight into your cunt, and you reach behind yourself to squeeze his cock, making Kazushi's toes curl and tears prick his eyes.
"You wanna come like this, or you wanna come in my pussy?"
He's still gripping you tightly, holding you to his face as he licks into you, nails scratching down your thighs and begging silently because he doesn't care how he comes, he just wants to—needs to.
"Need you to sit tight just a little longer 'cause I'm getting close, okay?"
Well, now he wants it even more. You're close. He's getting you close. The idea of you coming all over his face—fuck, it's too much, too much. He thinks he might be crying at this point, tongue-fucking you then sucking on your clit, tongue-fucking, suck, tongue-fucking, suck.
Your legs start to shake around his head, and your hold on his hair tightens, using his fucking head for leverage as you rock your hips, sliding back and forth from his chin to his nose and making Kazushi a sticky mess as you cry out his name and climax.
It's the hottest thing he's ever experienced, so much so that his captive balls fight against the silicone around them before they begin to empty.
He thinks he might tear his throat the way he screams, his own orgasm shaking him to his core. Line after line after line of cum shoots from his oversensitive cock, and he's never felt anything like it—intense enough to make his whole body shake, and fuck, it doesn't stop, leaking cum until it nearly hurts, and he basically sobs, "Mommy."
"Baby boy coming so hard, hm?"
His heels dig into the mattress, hips still moving up and down, and Kazushi shouts when your hand wraps around his cock again.
"Fuck!"
"So messy," you giggle, and he can hear the grin in your voice.
He's a whimpering, trembling mess as you push yourself off of him and slither down to lay beside him, hand on his chest to feel his thumping heart.
When he finally musters the energy, Kazushi lifts his head to stare down at the mess on his stomach, in awe at the fact he was even able to make it considering the way his cock is basically trapped. But, feeling you come on his face, tasting it and dripping with it… it makes sense.
"Once you feel like you can walk we can take a shower," you tell him, nuzzling against his arm.
"That might take a while," he replies breathily, still twitching every now and again.
Your hand is on his wet face, tracing the scar that runs through his eyebrow as you stare at him and sigh.
"What?" he prompts.
"Nothing. I just like you is all."
A lazy smile spreads across his face, his body now tingling in more ways than one as he pulls you a little closer against him.
"I like you, too."
xxx
It happens when you're at Akkun's club again, the regular group all at the bar, chatting and laughing and flirting like you always do.
Everyone has some kind of idea about you and Kazushi, either you're fucking or dating or something, and that doesn't bother you. It means you can be a little more open with him, sit in his lap, rub a hand down his chest, etc., etc.
But, there's still some details you're both holding back. For good reason.
And, this is why your jaw drops when Kazushi asks, "Want another drink, mommy?" like it's natural. Like it's habit.
You suppose it is. It's how he addresses you in the privacy of your respective apartments, but Jesus Christ, you didn't think it would be second nature for him.
"Um…" you blink, face heating, chill running down your spine because then Kazushi realizes what he's just let slip out, and he glances around the group to find them all staring in shock.
"I'm sorry, what?" Makoto is naturally the first to speak, no surprise there.
Akkun is chuckling, arm around his flavor of the week (month?) as he adds an unhelpful and possibly stoned, "What the fuuuck," that earns him a light slap on the chest then a whisper in his ear that makes him shrug.
"Okay, let's not pretend this is some taboo shit or something," you wave them off. "Hina, I don't know why you're so amused 'cause I'm willing to bet money that Takemichi's called you mommy before."
"I—" she starts, holding a finger up before deflating, "Okay, there was that one time…"
"Yeah, that's what I thought. You can all act like this is something gross, but I know better. Buncha pervs."
There's a myriad of laughs, both you and Kazushi joining in, and then you all retreat to your usual booth to keep doing exactly what you were doing at the bar.
"So, uh," Kazushi starts after lighting a cigarette then slinging an arm around you. "When do you guys wanna play Never Have I Ever again?"
It makes everyone lose it all over again.
Kazushi isn't the same almost-virgin he was just a few weeks ago, and he wants to prove it.
You can take credit for that.
#kazushi yamagishi x reader#yamagishi x reader#tokyo rev x reader#tokyo rev fanfiction#tw fem dom#or whatever#cw mommy kink
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Vaccines and why you should get a Covid Vaccine
Hi! Here, I'll talk about vaccines, some history of Anti-Vax propaganda (specifically about Andrew Wakefield's study), vaccines, and the Covid vaccine.
Trigger warning, this post contains mentions of ableism, child abuse, and the whole anti-vax movement.
What is a vaccine? (Edited)
What is a vaccine?
Well, traditionally, vaccines basically take a tiny bit if a disease and inject it into your body. It's so small and weak, your body fights it off, though it might take a while. This is why you might feel a little bit sick for a couple days after a vaccine. Your body is fighting off a small, weakened version of an illness. Once it's done and you're recovered, your body knows the illness and knows how to fight it, and if you ever are in a situation where you might catch it, or do happen to catch it, your body will have an easier time fighting off the illness.
Messenger RNA vaccines teach your cells to make protein that triggers an immune response in your body. That way, your body will be more prepared for a virus.
All different types of vaccines work differently, but at their core, vaccines train your body to fight the illness. And while it isn't the most pleasant in the moment, it'll make the effects of said illness less extreme were you to catch it.
And yes, vaccines and vaccine methods are tested in labs for years before even being authorized for human testing. And, just like everything else, vaccines have to be approved by governments before being recommended to the public.
Andrew Wakefield: The former doctor who claimed a link between the MMR vaccine and autism (Mini history lesson, feel free to scroll to the next section)
Sources: The MMR vaccine and autism: Sensation, refutation, retraction, and fraud /
In 1998, former British physician Andrew Wakefield and twelve colleagues published a study claiming that there was a link between the MMR (Measles, Mumps and Rubella) vaccine and Autism in children. When this study was published in The Lancet, a popular medical journal, there was a large decrease in MMR vaccinations.
Right after the publication, several other studies around the world were conducted and published, substantially disproving Wakefield's paper as well as refuting the link between the MMR vaccine and autism. The Lancet proceeded to retract the paper from publication
In 2004, after investigation into the study, there was evidence of Wakefield's team being "guilty of ethical violations (they had conducted invasive investigations on the children without obtaining the necessary ethical clearances) and scientific misrepresentation (they reported that their sampling was consecutive when, in fact, it was selective)," as well as "deliberate fraud (they picked and chose data that suited their case; they falsified facts)." In 2010, Wakefield was removed from the UK medical reguster and barred from practicing medicine in the UK.
Although the study which linked the MMR vaccine with autism was disproven, its publication lead to measles outbreaks in the UK in 2008 and 2009 and a massive increase in people who didn't trust vaccines and refused to vaccinate their children.
Wakefield still loudly defends his research and released an anti-vax film in 2016 which I will not name because fuck him, and he remains a loud anti-vaxer.
Anti-Vax Movement Tactics
The Anti-Vax movement knows that people who are educated and researched and studied in the sciences will be harder to manipulate, but people who aren't, or people who are more vulnerable, will be easier. Like a cult, the Anti-Vax movement knows who to target, who will be easier to manipulate, and targets them. Of course, anyone manipulate-able, but they know how to target certain groups of people. They feed on people's fears. This includes:
» People who can be or want to be pregnant. If you want to be pregnant, especially if you are part of the demographic who might have a hard time getting pregnant or have more risks (someone who has illnesses, someone with PCOS, etc), the Anti-Vax movement knows that pregnancy and childbirth is a weakness for you and will use that to turn you against a vaccine, or the general idea of vaccines.
» People who, for whatever reason, want "healthy", neurotypical babies. Consider the false study connecting autism to vaccines. Although the study has been proven false numerous times, the Anti-Vax movement continues to spread its misinformation as fact and use fearmongering to prevent people from vaccinating themselves and their children. So basically ableism.
» Saying "we don't know what they put in our bodies". Well, actually, this isn't true. Or it is, depending on who you are. You can look up the vaccines easily to see what kind of vaccine it is, what they put in it, what methods are used, what type of vaccine. Just as you can look up what's in that pasta or salad you got at the restaurant the other day. If you look into it, you'll know. And besides, vaccines all have to go through testing and all sorts of safety procedures before being allowed to be distributed. Just like anything else, from toothpaste to food. And there are so many things we don't understand that we put in our bodies, and yet they draw the line at vaccines, which you can research and understand yourself.
» "It'll kill the weak people off," is one of the reasons I've heard the most for people dismissing vaccines. First of all, whatever illness could kill anyone, not just the "weak ones". That's why we made vaccines, because everyone was dying, weak, strong, young, old, sick, healthy. And second of all, the "weak" don't deserve to die. Being born with a weaker body or immune system doesn't mean you deserve to be left to die. We as humans, so advanced, now should be advanced enough to be able to protect the weak. Letting the weak die is based in eugenics and ableism anyways, and is not just mean and selfish but also simply immoral.
Hey! You've probably been vaccinated!
So the funny thing is... do you live in the US and are scared to get vaccinated? Are you older than fifteen, and have you lived in the states longer than a year? Chances are, you're likely already vaccinated with many things. Especially if you've lived in the states your whole life. Wait 'till you hear about the vaccines most U.S. states and schools require for a child to go to school, so they aren't a risk to themselves and their classmates?
( Vaccines Required for School and Child Care | CDC )
Literally vaccines have been part of our lives forever, ranging from helping your body deal with the flu faster to prevent catching tetanus. Remember when you were afraid of getting chickenpox? Me neither, except for when I read historical books for class. The reason we aren't catching chickenpox, measles and aren't dying from the flu as much as people did all those years ago is because of vaccines.
I've gotten so many vaccines in my life. I used to not want to get them, I hated them. Not bc I was an anti-vaxer but because as a ten year old, needles scared me. But as I grew up and had the idea of vaccines explained to me, I realized that they're necessary.
So what's the Covid vaccine gonna do to you that the others haven't? The worst I got was a sore armpit for a week or feeling headachy and lightheaded for a day. But vaccines literally help train your immune system to learn to fight diseases.
Literally. You can thank vaccines and science for you not getting measles and all that and dying. And you get the Flu shot every year. Here's a good list of illnesses that aren't as much a risk or danger to us as they used to be, because of years and decades of vaccinations: (courtesy of the CDC)
1. Polio / 2. Tetanus / 3. The Flu
4. Hepatitis B / 5. Hepatitis A / 6. Rubella
7. Hib / 8. Measles / 9. Whooping Cough
So, the Covid Vaccine.
You know who's actually the most in danger right now? Immuno-compromised people. People who actually have weak immune systems, be it from age, disability or other illness. They can't be vaccnated, because their bodies and immune systems are too weak for it.
If you are a person with a healthy immune system, your body can handle a vaccine. And you should be vaccinated, so as to minimize the risk of spreading it to people who can't get vaccinated no matter how much they want to. When it comes down to it, the Covid vaccine isn't about right and wrong. It's about not being selfish, caring about your neighbors and getting the vaccine to protect not only yourself, but also the elderly grandparent of that store employee, or maybe your friend's sibling who can't get vaccinated due to a condition.
So please. Stop being childish. Get Covid vaccine, so it can someday be added to the list of life threatening, large-scale diseases that will no longer be an everyday, life-threatening danger to us all.
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William: Do you have anything on the updates to Rabbit Snare.
Vanessa: Yeah it's been all of 12 hours, I'm one woman, I enjoy maintaining my social life with real and work friends, and have a full time job.
William: So you haven't started yet?
Vanessa: What happened to "take your time, I want it done well."? I'm not even getting paid with anything besides not getting killed, I could have taken a freelance gig, I have a friend who's trying to start developing a game and had to turn them down because of this.
William: Specifically this?
Vanessa: Yes. I said it would take a few weeks for a reason. Last night before Abby got home and we went out so I could introduce her to some of the guys from work I took a look at it, banged my head on the desk a few times and then told Desk Dragon to look at this shit before attempting to start notating what I'm starting with.
Vanessa: Even that is going to take at minimum a week. Minimum. And that's a very hopeful minimum. You might have noticed but something designed to hold digital soul fragments isn't particularly small.
Vanessa: And I had to write it in a rush without being able consider what the most efficient option was, just the one that worked.
Vanessa: And in case you forgot, I also had to create a whole new program for the worlds most specific purpose while having to track down and contain every single part of you, while you were actively fighting against me.
Vanessa: I don't know if you realize this, but normally even hacking competitions aren't these high octane speed events, much to 11 year old Vanessa's disappointment mind you, but you managed to turn programming into a speed event.
Vanessa: And on top of that, your fighting against it alone left it messier than it would have started if it was for something passive, and just glancing at the code now, if I'm not mistaken, which it's possible, this is the Tugley Wood of code, your attempts at solving the problem yourself could have completely broken it...
Vanessa: But I don't have plans tonight so this is what I'll be doing from when I get home to when I have to go back in.
Vanessa: Shit. Sorry for going on so long.
Vanessa: tl;dr: Rabbit Snare is a disaster and it's going to take time to go through it before feeling comfortable editing anything, much less working out how to add something major.
William: "the Tugley Wood of code"
Vanessa: Yeah. Disney version with the signs pointing in every direction. And if I spend too much time with it, I might just break down and start crying.
William: But it'll be a week before you can start substantial work.
Vanessa: Minimum. I explained potential time frame last night and you didn't seem to have an issue. Unless you do need it by a certain time.
William: I didn't expect some of that delay was so you could go partying.
Vanessa: I deserve a pass for that one, it was an opening for Tabby, in the art department, she does a lot of promo materials, so a bunch of us wanted to support her.
Vanessa: And I wanted people in the office to see my girlfriend in the flesh, some people needed to see she's real. Apparently I "don't seem like someone who'd date a going to be a psychiatrist" so the team wanted proof beyond photos for some reason 🙄
William: That's not much of a defense.
Vanessa: We on the drinking thing again. It was two glasses of wine. Which coincidentally is when they stopped being free.
William: No, today not the issue.
Vanessa: Is there a real time frame I should be aiming for then?
William: Nothing specific, only that I don't want to move forward with some things without the change.
Vanessa: So really it's asap, just don't fuck up?
William: Essentially, yes.
Vanessa: I'll go out less, but I'm not killing my social life completely, and the reason I emphasized it was a work event. I'm only useful to you when I work here so it's best for both of us that I'm friendly with my co-workers.
William: You obviously have enough spare time during work, you could be filling that time more productively.
Vanessa: Yeah, by eating my lunch, and finally finding the time to start watching My Girlfriend is Two Demons and Also an Office Lady and keeping the burnout at bay.
William: that's not a title.
Vanessa: Look at my screen. Look at the title. and it's actually pretty good.
Vanessa: But even though everything about Rabbit Snare is carried over with you, changes I make here stay when you show up at home, I don't even want to start adding notations while at work just in case it goes from something that no one can even see is on the machine, much less track our conversations if I alter the wrong thing.
Vanessa: If you want to go off an threaten me I guess go ahead, but it's not going to change that I'm right, and this is something I have visual evidence you can't do your self, and I couldn't make something this hard to decipher when I'm trying to fuck over the next guy.
William: Why has there been a five minute scene of one of the demon girlfriends failing to make tea?
Vanessa: My lunch break isn't long enough to explain anime tropes to you.
Vanessa: But, sir, I promise the changes to Rabbit Snare are going to happen and I'm sorry that it's something that there's no way around how long it might take.
William: You could have cleaned it up sooner.
Vanessa: It was working just fine, I didn't know that you'd want changes made. Plus, after the recent Malhare incident, I wouldn't go near anything that's become part of it/you without being explicitly told.
Vanessa: So some on, bring the threats, only thing you'll change is that I'll get sloppy, and who knows what could happen to you if it's buggy. Not whatever your plans are, not needing to keep under the radar, you.
William: Has anyone ever told you that you get too cocky for your own good sometimes?
Vanessa: Yeah, loads of time. Doesn't change that I'm right, sir 😉
#The Chat log semi fic#How to make Vanessa put aside that she doesn't want to deal with this man right now:#Give problem in need of solution.#Not sure if this is going into the should be edited pile for the circular conversation issue#because it's a circular conversation that makes sense in this context.#Nessa has to give the simple explanation of coding issues to Boomer Grandad over here#(+some) and having had to defend things already explained to bosses.....yeah....#round and round it goes.
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In her unauthorized book, Lynette Rice explores the stories behind some of the ABC drama's biggest moments, including — in this exclusive excerpt — the factors that led to McDreamy's shocking death.
In How to Save a Life: The Inside Story of Grey’s Anatomy, author Lynette Rice recounts the ABC medical drama’s eventful 16-year history, revealing new details behind some of the show’s biggest departures. Included in the unauthorized, 320-page oral history (St. Martin’s Press, Sept. 21, $29.99) is a chapter that offers new insight into leading man Patrick Dempsey’s shocking exit in season 11 of the Shonda Rhimes-created drama. In the chapter, Rice speaks with Dempsey’s co-stars and exec producers who were present during filming of his final days on Grey’s Anatomy, and reveals claims of “HR issues” that contributed to the death of his alter-ego, Derek “McDreamy” Shepherd.
“There were HR issues. It wasn’t sexual in any way. He sort of was terrorizing the set. Some cast members had all sorts of PTSD with him,” recalls exec producer James D. Parriott, who was brought back to the series to oversee Dempsey’s exit.
In more than 80 interviews with current and former cast- and crewmembers, Rice, an editor-at-large at Entertainment Weekly, also explores the show’s early days, recounts the thinking behind some of its more polarizing storylines and offers exclusive details about the show’s behind-the-scenes culture.
“After 17 seasons, fans still can’t get enough of Grey’s Anatomy,” Rice tells THR. But what went down behind the scenes was just as dramatic as what viewers saw every Thursday. I’m excited for fans to read what I learned about those early days, along with what it was like to work for Shonda Rhimes, and why the drama was so freakin’ headline-prone.”
Below, The Hollywood Reporter shares an excerpt — the full eighth chapter — from How to Save a Life, and tune in Friday to TV’s Top 5 for an interview with Rice about her book and the other big reveals she uncovered in her reporting for it.
(Reps for ABC, ABC Signature, Shondaland, and Dempsey declined comment on the reveals in Rice’s book.)
“He’s Very Dreamy, but He’s Not the Sun,” Or, How Grey’s Anatomy Loved — Then Learned to Live Without — Patrick Dempsey Ellen Pompeo may have played the titular role, but for many fans over many years, Patrick Dempsey was the real draw to Grey’s Anatomy. Some of it had to do with his celebrity: Dempsey was the most famous member of the original cast at the time of the pilot and brought with him quite a cult following from his 1987 movie Can’t Buy Me Love. But a lot of it was due to the way Rhimes wrote her McDreamy and how Dempsey depicted him. James D. Parriott I would say, “The guy would never say that,” and Shonda would say, “He’s McDreamy. He’s the perfect man. He would say that.” I’d say, “Okay. It’s your show.” Eric Buchman Shonda had a very clear idea of how important it was to keep Derek as this almost idealized love interest, not just for Meredith but for the audience. Naturally, the writers—especially writers who had been working on one-hour dramas for a while—were like, “Well, maybe have McDreamy make a big mistake in surgery and kill somebody. Or he develops an addiction of some kind. What is his deep, dark secret?” Shonda was very insistent: that’s not the character we do that with. Even when you find out he’s married, that was done in a very sympathetic way that kept him being a hero. He was wronged by his spouse and in spite of it all he was still gonna give his marriage a second chance. Stacy McKee Shonda was protective of McDreamy, but it was really with an eye toward being protective of Meredith. I don’t think the two were separate from one another. I don’t think she wanted to put something out there that maybe on the surface might seem a little frivolous. At its core, there was something really substantial that she wanted to say. She wanted to be very specific about the type of relationship values that she put out there. Tony Phelan I was in editing with Shonda once, and it was the scene where Meredith and Derek had broken up. He comes over and she’s like, “I can’t remember the last time we kissed.” And he says, “I remember. You were wearing this and you smelled of this …”
Joan Rater “Your shampoo smelled like flowers, you had that sweater on …” He described their last kiss. Tony Phelan Typically in editing you start on Derek, then you cut to Meredith for a reaction, and then you’ll go back to him. I noticed that we weren’t ever cutting back to Meredith. I asked why. Shonda said, “Because the woman in Iowa who’s watching this show wants to believe that Patrick is talking to her, and if you cut back to Meredith, it pushes them out of it.” In those special moments, we would just lock into Derek and let him do his thing. Joan Rater And he was a master at it. Patrick Dempsey He’s the ideal man, and that’s what Shonda constructed. There’s a projection [of him] onto me when you come in contact with fans, certainly with the younger and older fans. There is a certain amount of expectation. There is a responsibility to it. It made me grow, too. There were good qualities [of his] that you work on to obtain. Off camera, Dempsey was equally as charismatic to his fellow actors, crew members, and anyone who would come to visit the set. Lauren Stamile I was going in to meet him, and I remember I had this little cardigan sweater on and I took it off before I got into the room. Dempsey is one of those people—it’s almost like there’s a light shining around his body, and you feel like you’re the only person in the room. I got so hot and I remember saying, “Gosh, I would take off my sweater if I had one on because I’m so hot, but I took it off.” I was just babbling. He said, “You look nice,” and I said, “You look nicer.” I felt so awkward and he was so gracious and lovely. I was having a nervous breakdown. It’s like this “it” factor. I was like, God, whatever he has, I wish I had. I think it was very obvious how nervous I was, and he went out of his way to make sure he introduced me to everybody and made sure I felt comfortable, which he certainly didn’t have to do. But he did. Joan Rater He knew I had a giant crush on him, and he loved it. And when we’d go to table reads—I was an actress at one point in my life—they would always give me Meredith if Ellen wasn’t there. And I’d be getting my chicken tenders at craft services before the table read and he’d come up behind me and say, “Are you reading Meredith?” in my ear, like, so sexy. I’d be like, Oh my God. I mean, I could barely … I could not look at him. Tina Majorino I worked with Patrick a ton. I love him so much. We had a really great time working together. I think he’s such a great actor and he really made me laugh a lot. I feel like we had a good dynamic in scenes together, and it was always fun to play opposite him. Yes, he’s that charismatic in real life. Yes, his hair is that awesome. Yes, he is dreamy up close.
Chandra Wilson Patrick Dempsey will forever be known as Grey’s Anatomy’s McDreamy. Derek Shepherd is a permanent part of television history.
Norman Leavitt He is a big, personable guy.
Jeannine Renshaw We all love Patrick. Patrick is a sweetheart. If I saw him on the street, I’d give him a hug. I love the guy.
Mark Wilding I’ve always had a soft spot for Patrick. He really does try to do the right thing. Brooke Smith, who played Dr. Erica Hahn, remembers how Dempsey defended her when the decision was made to fire her from the show in 2008. Brooke Smith I remember calling him and saying, “Oh my God, they said they can’t write for me anymore, so I guess I’m leaving.” And he was like, “What are you talking about? You’re the only one they’re writing for.” Which at that time, it kind of did feel that way. But I guess someone didn’t like that. They gave me a statement [to release, about her departure] and I never said it. Patrick said that he actually took it out of his jacket on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and read the statement. He won’t let me forget it. He was like, “I defended you, see?” And it was true.
By season eleven, however, fans saw a disturbing break in MerDer’s once unbreakable bond. Six episodes had gone by without a peep from Derek, who was supposedly in Washington, D.C., where he had apparently made out with a research fellow. Fans began threatening to bolt if their hero didn’t return soon to Seattle. “I have never missed one episode,” wrote a fan on Dempsey’s Facebook page. “But I swear if [Rhimes] kills you off I’m done.” But there was a critical reason for Derek’s strange absence: behind the scenes, there was talk of Dempsey’s diva-like fits and tension between him and Pompeo. To help manage the explosive situation, executive producer James D. Parriott was brought back in to serve as a veritable Dempsey whisperer.
Patrick Dempsey [That] was the first year that I haven’t been in every episode. I [was] in every episode since the pilot— close to 250 episodes. That [was a] huge run. James D. Parriott Shonda needed an OG to come in as sort of a showrunner for fourteen episodes. There were HR issues. It wasn’t sexual in any way. He sort of was terrorizing the set. Some cast members had all sorts of PTSD with him. He had this hold on the set where he knew he could stop production and scare people. The network and studio came down and we had sessions with them. I think he was just done with the show. He didn’t like the inconvenience of coming in every day and working. He and Shonda were at each other’s throats.
Jeannine Renshaw There were times where Ellen was frustrated with Patrick and she would get angry that he wasn’t working as much. She was very big on having things be fair. She just didn’t like that Patrick would complain that “I’m here too late” or “I’ve been here too long” when she had twice as many scenes in the episode as he did. When I brought it up to Patrick, I would say, “Look around you. These people have been here since six thirty a.m.” He would go, “Oh, yeah.” He would get it. It’s just that actors tend to see things from their own perspective. He’s like a kid. He’s so high energy and would go, “What’s happening next?” He literally goes out of his skin, sitting and waiting. He wants to be out driving his race car or doing something fun. He’s the kid in class who wants to go to recess.
Patrick Dempsey It’s ten months, fifteen hours a day. You never know your schedule, so your kid asks you, “What are you doing on Monday?” And you go, “I don’t know,” because I don’t know my schedule. Doing that for eleven years is challenging. But you have to be grateful, because you’re well compensated, so you can’t really complain because you don’t really have a right. You don’t have control over your schedule. So, you have to just be flexible.
Longtime Crew Member Poor Patrick. I’m not defending his schtick. I like him, but he was the Lone Ranger. All of these actresses were getting all this power. All the rogue actresses would go running to Shonda and say, “Hey, Patrick’s doing this. Patrick’s late for work. He’s a nightmare.” He was just shut out in the cold. His behavior wasn’t the greatest, but he had nowhere to go. He was so miserable. He had no one to talk to. When Sandra left, I remember him telling me, “I should’ve left then, but I stayed on because they showed me all this money. They just were dumping money on me.”
Patrick Dempsey It [was] hard to say no to that kind of money. How do you say no to that? It’s remarkable to be a working actor, and then on top of that to be on a show that’s visible. And then on top of that to be on a phenomenal show that’s known around the world, and play a character who is beloved around the world. It’s very heady. It [was] a lot to process, and not wanting to let that go, because you never know whether you will work again and have success again.
Jeannine Renshaw A lot of the complaining … I think Shonda finally witnessed it herself, and that was the final straw. Shonda had to say to the network, “If he doesn’t go, I go.” Nobody wanted him to leave, because he was the show. Him and Ellen. Patrick is a sweetheart. It messes you up, this business.
James D. Parriott I vaguely recall something like that, but I can’t be sure. It would have happened right toward the end, because I know they were negotiating and negotiating, trying to figure out what to do. We had three different scenarios that we actually had to break because we didn’t know until I think about three days before he came back to set which one we were going to go with. We didn’t know if he was going to be able to negotiate his way out of it. We had a whole story line where we were going to keep him in Washington, D.C., so we could separate him from the rest of the show. He would not have to work with Ellen again. Then we had the one where he comes back, doesn’t die, and we figure out what Derek’s relationship with Meredith would be. Then there was the one we did. It was kind of crazy. We didn’t know if he was going to be able to negotiate his way out of it. It was ultimately decided that just bringing him back was going to be too hard on the other actors. The studio just said it was going to be more trouble than it was worth and decided to move on.
Stacy McKee I don’t think there was any way to exit him without him dying. He and Meredith were such an incredibly bonded couple at that point. It would be completely out of character if he left his kids. There was no exit that would honor that character other than if he were to die. Patrick Dempsey I don’t remember the date [I got the news]. It was not in the fall. Maybe February or March. It was just a natural progression. And the way everything was unfolding in a very organic way, it was like, “Okay! This is obviously the right time.” Things happened very quickly. We were like, “Oh, this is where it’s going to go.”
So that was that: McDreamy would die in episode twenty-one of season eleven, even though Dempsey was in year one of his recently signed two-year contract extension. Rhimes wrote a script that was befitting of her lead’s heroic persona: she began “How to Save a Life” by having Derek witness a car crash and helping the injured. Once it appeared everyone was out of harm’s way, Derek continues on his road trip but is suddenly broadsided by a truck.
Rob Hardy (Director) The paramedics leave. He’s there by himself. He’s having a moment. The nice music is playing, and all of a sudden, bang. It comes out of nowhere, which, you know, is how accidents happen. So as opposed to watching it as a viewer, we saw the accident happen through Derek’s perspective. Derek ends up at Dillard Medical Center, a hospital far from Grey Sloan and the talented doctors who work there. His eyes are open, but his brain is severely damaged. No one hears his plea for a CT scan; he can’t speak. To help keep the episode a secret, the scenes were shot in an abandoned hospital in Hawthorne, California, about twenty-two miles from the show’s home studio in Los Feliz.
Mimi Melgaard It was really hard on all of us because it was so secretive and we had so many different locations. We shot at this closed-down hospital that was absolutely creepy haunted. All the scenes there were so sad anyway, and in this yucky-feeling haunted hospital? It was really weird. His whole last episode was really tough. Patrick Dempsey It was like any other day. It was just another workday. There was still too much going on. You’re in the midst of it—you’re not really processing it. Rob Hardy Here’s a guy who’s immobile. Now you’re inside of his head. We were trying to make that feel scary from the perspective of a person who’s used to being in control, from a person who usually has the power of life and death in his own hands. But now he doesn’t have the ability to speak on his own behalf.
Samantha Sloyan When I went to audition, I didn’t recognize any of these doctors’ names. I assumed they were just dummy sides so people wouldn’t ruin the story line or anything like that. All we knew is that we were dealing with a man who’s been in a car accident. I had no idea that it was going to be Derek. I just figured I was going to be a guest doctor and that whoever this person was who was injured, was going to be just a character on the show. Once it became clear what we were working on, I was like, Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe this is the episode I’m on.
Mike McColl (Dr. Paul Castello) I signed an NDA before they would release the script to me. I was reading it in my house, and I was like, “Oh, my God.” I didn’t tell anyone, including my agents. I just said, “This is a really great booking. It’s a great role on Grey’s.” And they didn’t know anything until it aired.
Savannah Paige Rae (Winnie) The first scene I shot was actually the sentimental scene when I’m saying, “It’s a beautiful day to save lives, right?” I’m in the hospital room with Derek and talking to him. Even though I never watched the show, I recognized the value of the episode I was in and just really took it to heart. It was so special that I got to be a part of it.
Rob Hardy [Patrick] had a lot of emotions during the whole shoot, which evolved. I think when we first started, he was very calm and cool … the same Patrick that I remembered when I worked on the show a year or so before. With each passing day, he was a lot more emotional. A lot more was on his mind, and that would show itself in different ways. The finality of the episode and for his character was setting in. You’ve become a global icon on this show and then in five, four, three, two, a day … it’s over.
James D. Parriott Patrick was very cooperative and good.
Mike McColl When I met Patrick, he’s lying on a stretcher and we’re rushing him into the ER. I just introduced myself, shook his hand, and was like, “Man, I cannot tell you what an honor it is to be the guy to take you down.” He loved it. He could not have been nicer to me and was funny through the whole shoot. He was on the table in front of me there when I cut his chest open and all that stuff. He gave me a hug at the end. It was a real privilege to be a part of TV history in that way.
Samantha Sloyan I remember him being incredibly kind. They had his neck in a brace, and he’s strapped down to the board, so there wasn’t a ton of chatting. I remember him being really kind, but it was clearly intense for him.
Stacy McKee It was such a beautiful piece of storytelling. I knew this event was going to be a really sad, horrible event for Meredith, but I also knew it was going to be the beginning of such an incredible chapter for Meredith.
Dempsey completed his final hours of shooting on a rainy night. There was no goodbye party, no goodbye cake. Maybe that’s because some cast members were left out of the loop. James Pickens, Jr., told ABC News that the cast “didn’t know a whole lot. It was kind of on the fly. So whatever information we got, we pretty much got it kind of right before it happened.”
Caterina Scorsone (Dr. Amelia Shepherd) I didn’t get to say goodbye to Patrick when he left. I do think that helped, because I’ve been using the character of Derek in my internal landscape since Private Practice. Derek was the stability in Amelia’s life. He became a father figure after they watched robbers shoot their father. When he was suddenly gone from the show, we didn’t have that closure, so I got to play it out. She’s about to use drugs again before Owen confronts her in a way that she finally talks about her feelings about losing Derek. She doesn’t end up using.
James D. Parriott The day he left, that was my last day. There was a certain sadness to it, but I think he was relieved. I mean, I think it took a toll on him, too.
Rob Hardy I didn’t see other actors showing up and saying, “Hey, it’s the last day! Wanted to come and wish you well.” I didn’t get that. It was more the Patrick show. We were in the Patrick world, and then Ellen came, and there was definitely a lot of emotion that both of them had individually … not necessarily together. It was more so her being there on the day that he died. He had his own way of being with that, and the same thing with her. It was like two people who grew up together and … here we are. They had their own way of reflecting.
Patrick Dempsey I very quietly left. It was beautiful. It was raining, which was really touching. I got in my Panamera, got in rush-hour traffic, and two hours later I was home. Big news like this doesn’t stay quiet for long. Both Michael Ausiello—who left EW in 2010 to launch the news site TVLine—and Lesley Goldberg of The Hollywood Reporter learned two weeks prior to Dempsey’s final episode that he would be leaving the show. No reporter worth their salt wants to sit on a scoop—least of all one as huge as this—but Ausiello and Goldberg didn’t want to spoil the outcome for fans, so they agreed to hold the story until after the episode aired. I eventually found out, too, but in the nuttiest way imaginable: I was standing on the set of CSI: Cyber, watching Patricia Arquette talk about some droll techno-criminal. Unfortunately, the publicist also cc’d Dempsey’s manager and ABC publicist while trying to give me a major story, so I couldn’t immediately report the scoop. But I did use the information to successfully negotiate the one and only exit interview with Dempsey. Two weeks before his final episode, I met him and his publicist at Feed Body & Soul in Venice, California, for a story that would hit newsstands on April 24. He seemed a little shell-shocked and at one point choked up, but at the time he said nothing about how his on-set behavior may have contributed to his ouster. My editor, Henry Goldblatt, wanted to put him on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, but he couldn’t guarantee to ABC that no one would see it before the episode aired. Good thing we didn’t: some subscribers got the issue on the morning of Dempsey’s final episode— and one actually tweeted the story. Our PR department tried to get the tweets removed, but the cat was out of the bag: some fans found out early that McDreamy was about to be McHistory. Outlets like Variety reported how the story got out early, while our PR department released this statement: “We are surprised that an EW subscriber may have received their issue a day earlier than planned. We always try our best to bring readers exclusive news first. We would like to apologize to fans of the show that learned the news ahead of time.” Dempsey’s final episode was watched by 8.83 million viewers—the show’s largest audience since the premiere that season. Variety even pontificated whether the ratings boost was due to my exclusive with Dempsey.
Lesley Goldberg (The Hollywood Reporter) I’m used to working with networks to hold news as part of their efforts to guard against plot spoilers. But the way Patrick Dempsey’s exit was handled involved a layer of paranoia and secrecy that has been unlike anything I’ve seen in my reporting career. News that he was leaving, and his character being killed off, would have been a major story considering how big the show is domestically and internationally. However, it also would have meant spoiling the episode and, more important, damaging key relationships I’ve worked hard to build. At some point, publishing the news of Dempsey’s exit before the episode aired became an ethical question of what was more important—a big story and its subsequent traffic, which would have come no matter what, or the relationships and trust that it took years to craft. Ultimately, I still published early because EW subscribers received the issue with Lynette’s Dempsey interview before the episode aired.
Mike McColl The morning after Derek’s last episode aired, my daughter sent me a link that was on YouTube or Facebook or something. I actually pulled it up to look at it, and it was a Grey’s Anatomy showbiz cheat sheet. It asked the question “Who is the attending doctor who killed Derek ‘McDreamy’ Shepherd?” It included a photo that I posted from the set. I had on a bloody rubber glove and was in my scrubs and mask. I never obviously would have posted this before it aired. I posted it well after the episode aired, and I [captioned it] “McDeadly.” This writer said something like, “Kill McDeadly.” Maybe that’s why the producer didn’t choose a big-name actor to be the one who killed our beloved McDreamy! I want to be ultrasensitive to these hard-core fans because it means so much to them, and I certainly didn’t mean in that case to make light of it. It’s just, I’m an actor, and I recognize it for what it is. Is everybody clear on the fact that this is just pretend and Patrick knew he was going to be leaving the show? It was just like, “God. He’s okay. He really is okay.”
Peter Horton Derek was going to be there forever with Meredith because you went through a whole journey with them. That was incredibly fulfilling. So even if he’s not there, he’s there. I don’t think any of us really worried about that going away because by then you were so invested in it. The show can last as it has for years.
Patrick Dempsey Lots of people [miss him]. “It’s good to see you alive” is the comment I get. I’m like, “Yes, I’m very much alive in reruns.” People were really invested in that relationship. I knew it would be heavy. Very happy to have moved on with a different chapter in my life.
Samantha Sloyan The montage just killed me, when Meredith says, “It’s okay, you can go.” God, I’m getting choked up just thinking about it. The chemistry they have as a pair and the way they were able to build that and sustain it! So many of these relationships are, like, “Will they, won’t they,” and then it wears thin. They sustained it for the duration of their relationship on the show, and it’s just, I think, a testament to what those two created. It was just unbelievable.
Pompeo addressed Dempsey’s departure with a tweet that focused solely on his character, not on how she spent eleven years working side by side with him: “There are so many people out there who have suffered tremendous loss and tragedy. Husbands and wives of soldiers, victims of senseless violence, and parents who have lost children. People who get up every day and do what feels like is the impossible. So it is for these people and in the spirit of resilance [sic] I am honored and excited to tell the story of how Meredith goes on in the face of what feels like the impossible.” Meanwhile, fans futilely created a Change.org petition to reinstate McDempsey, while other, more desperate ones simply tweeted “We Hate You” to Rhimes.
Shonda Rhimes Derek Shepherd is and will always be an incredibly important character—for Meredith, for me, and for the fans. I absolutely never imagined saying goodbye to our McDreamy. Patrick Dempsey’s performance shaped Derek in a way that I know we both hope became a meaningful example— happy, sad, romantic, painful, and always true—of what young women should demand from modern love. His loss will be felt by all.
Talk about the mother (father?) of all postscripts: In November of 2020 Dempsey reprised his role as McDreamy in the season opener—but only in Meredith’s dreams. Stricken with COVID-19, an unconscious Meredith “imagined” reuniting with her husband on the beach. After talking exclusively to Deadline and saying how it was “really a very healing process, and really rewarding,” Dempsey would return for more beach-based episodes that would ultimately stand out as the best moments of season seventeen. “It was a second chance thing,” one ABC executive told me at the time. “Shonda likes a comeback. Also, they wanted him in their last season.”
#grey's anatomy#derek shepherd#thr#Patrick Dempsey#shonda rhimes#Ellen Pompeo#chandra wilson#caterina scorsone#Stacy McKee#Peter Horton#Mike McColl#Lesley Goldberg#Rob Hardy#James D. Parriott#Samantha Sloyan#Savannah Paige Rae#Mimi Melgaard#Jeannine Renshaw#Brooke Smith#Mark Wilding#Norman Leavitt#Tina Majorino#joan rater#Lauren Stamile#Tony Phelan#Eric Buchman
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Deconstructing baseless Harry Potter arguments #1: Harmony Edition
There’s a very helpful account on instagram (this instagram page merely gathers toxic harmony shippers, they don’t ship Harmione or hate all Harmione shippers, please don’t send them hate, show them love and support) where you can essentially find stupid fucking bashers who make baseless arguments. I’m all for Harmione shippers, as long as they don’t denounce Romione, bash Ron and just peacefully co-exist. To my pleasure, such people are out there: they just dont seem to be seen as often as the ones that are not nice. Maybe all I see is the mean people and the majority is nice, but in this post, I am attacking those who make baseless claims and bash Ron/Romione/Hinny/Ginny. I don’t myself hate all Harmione shippers. On top of that, as a Romione/Ron fan, i do acknowledge Ron’s character flaws along with Hermione’s and I hold them on the same pedestal.
This is copied directly from my own instagram page, granger.weasley_ on ig.
Anyways let's get deconstructing
1)
rebuttal:
Yeah okay mf; maybe don’t compare real-life relationships with fucking fictional ones. Your relationship going wrong has nothing to do with Ron/Hermione. It has everything to do with you and your ex: the *real life* people involved in it.
2)
rebuttal:
The weird subreddits and discord servers also seem to have a lot of die-hard Harmione “non-canon” shippers. They bash Ron and Romione (along with Ginny and Hinny) with a burning passion without any objective sense of remorse. They ignore all the merits of Ron’s character and bash him to push their agenda. They can’t even do so much as fucking acknowledge any of Hermione’s character flaws but still somehow manage to fixate on that one time when 11 year old Ron just shit-talked one line while Hermione had just publicly humiliated him in front of the Charms class and practically shouted at him for doing the spell wrong just before. I personally don’t because Hermione was 11 too and wasn’t that good at social cues that early on, which is more than okay. Neither am I.
Only a few people in the Romione fandom bash Hermione. And it’s not like Harmione shippers (most, not all!) don’t bash Ron and Ginny remorselessly, right? The fucking hypocrisy.
If someone considers Ron as the best member of the trio, it is their own opinion and not a fact. I do that. If you consider Harry and Hermione as the best member of the trio or in the whole wizarding world, most people don’t give a flying fuck and probably won’t argue with you because it is simply an opinion. That will only happen when you pass that off as a fact.
Statistically speaking, most (not FUCKING all) Harmione moments are in the movies. The weird dance scene especially. The passionate kiss that happens in Ron’s vision, shit like that. Ron is pushed to the sidelines in the last set of movies while Harry and Hermione show each other endless love and support. “I’ll go with you”. The books on the other hand, describe Harry and Hermione as siblings multiple times, with very little Harmione references.
3)
rebuttal:
So you don't want us to fixate on the large majority of Harmione shippers who do the exact same thing, just kissing Hermione's and Harry's ass and hating on Ron. However you will fixate on people who are most likely not EVEN bashing or hating but pointing out a few character flaws in Hermione in a fair and unbiased way. I would know, I'm a huge fan of Hermione as an individual character (in the books). The only criticism I've seen of Hermione to this day has not been bashing. In the comment section of my own fics (shameless plug) I've seen some Hermione bashing. On an ao3 comment section. And I've seen so damn fucking many people bashing Ron, Ginny, the Weasleys etc. and garner tens and thousands of upvotes on quora.
What does Ron even need excusing for? The running away incident and Krum. What does Hermione need excusing for? Canaries, contributing to Ron's insecurities by making him jealous through Cormac and Krum even though she didn't even like them (especially not Cormac, she fucking hated him). Ron wore a locket that literally highlighted his fatal flaw (insecurity) in an echo chamber. Harry kept getting annoyed when Ron wanted to check in on his family. Harry asked Ron to leave; Ron didn't say that shit in the books about Harry's parents being dead: that was plain shock value.
And sorry for repeating myself but I have seen quite a few Harmione shippers bash Ron and Ginny and excuse every single thing Harry and Hermione have done.
4)
37 upvotes on this weird comment that makes no sense? Echo chamber alert! You know what us Romione/Ron fans all have in common? We have never experienced such an echo chamber. I made a pro Ron/Romione post on reddit and got a considerable amount of people who bashed Ron and Romione in the comments.
The amount of Hermione haters is very few compared to Ron bashers. Nobody hates Hermione for being independent, determined, etc. We dislike perfect movie Hermione who’s an unrealistic image of females and seems like some sort of agenda than a real woman. Most Romione shippers/Ron fans and book fans in general (except for you apparently) dislike movie Hermione and still are fans of realistic book Hermione. Most, not all. In general, we do not claim anyone who does the exact same thing to Harry and Hermione that these sorts of Harmione shippers do to Ron, Romione, Hinny and Ginny. I say this on the behalf of all Romione shippers and Ron fans.
Ron's not a bitchy lay-about drama causing loser. That's Steve Kloves's movie Ron. In the books Ron is realistic and simplistic and apologizes whenever he causes problems. He acts up substantially twice in a span of 7 years where he is also a hormone-fuelled teenager.
This is so contradictory and juxtaposed to the point of near delusion. First you talk about how Romione shippers bash Hermione and then you bash Ron as a Harmione shipper. Mate, fighting fire with fire will get you called a hypocrite. Fix yourself.
5)
So the movies are fine when they work according to your agenda? And yes how dare he add such a (fake) chemistry fuelled moment between Harry and Hermione while defeating the entire purpose and groundwork for Romione, the sadness caused by Ron leaving and so many more things? Those Harmione moments you mention seem friendship -esque more than anything else.
Steve Kloves's moments ruined many things while just paying fan service to the Harmione fans he'd birthed through years in the course of 6 movies where he showed Ron as a, how you so eloquently describe it, lay - about drama causing bitchy loser, Harry as one dimensional and Hermione as a zero - dimensional Mary Sue who might as well be the main titular character. Obviously Harmione fans such as yourself don't see the problem with it as it fits your narrative
6)
We do care about Harry and Hermione at large. Most Romione shippers rightfully bash Draco, Pansy, etc. not particularly Harry and Hermione, that's quite rare. Harry and Hermione can get along without Ron as friends. Ron and Harry can also get along without. Hermione as friend. So can Hermione and Ron without Harry as friends or more. I don't understand your point and how what you said is any different than Romione or Ronarry’s friendship.
7)
Constant arguing is not what they do. They bicker, they apologize, and sometimes they just do it for the heck of it. They are argumentative teenager. Opposites attract doesn't work in the sense of fire and ice, it works in the case of Brownie and ice-cream. Ron is passionate, laid back and insecure. Hermione's passionate, a workaholic and not as insecure. Ron can help her get calm and composed and get her to give herself a break. Hermione can motivate Ron and re - enforce his confidence.
It wouldn't be step incest. Harry and Ginny do not regard each other as siblings. They do not look similar whatsoever. And a Harmione shipper also bashes Hinny and Ginny along with Ron and Romione? Checks out
" that fucked up Harmony" hahaha. What?
8)
Are you literally going to date someone on the basis of what Harry Potter ships they prefer? That is so shallow end depraved. Your Harry Potter ship preferences should not be the groundwork for your dating life. Please understand that. Harry Potter is a fictional world which is not real. Hogwarts doesn't exist. Magic doesn't exist. I sound like a Dursley but that's what it is: a fictional realm with fictional character. I would personally not give a fuck if my best friend or significant other was a Harmione shipper. In the case of them being a Ron basher, I would ignore it as if it was just a minor inconvenience and something we wouldn't be discussing and that's how it should be with you. Fuck BuzzFeed, your opinion on what Harry Potter ship / character is your favorite says squat about your personality and relationship with others in a romantic or platonic context. But who cares? Live your life however you want. I'll be stoic.
9)
It's not opposites attract rubbish or high school opposites attract. Ron and Hermione aren't polar opposites like I said, they are a bit different but similar too in many ways. They have a lot more in common than Harry and Hermione. Ron and Harry have the most in common. Both Ron and Hermione are passionate, loving, argumentative, caring, etc. Your argument lacks substance. It's biased trash. And what does “obhwf " mean?
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at the end of the day, i’m just an annoyed teenager. I try my best to be open-minded to people but only as long as they are too. I tried to use my brain more than my feelings for this post.
#ROMIONE#harry potter books#Harry Potter#harry potter movies#HarryPotter#harry#ron#hermione#Hermione Granger#Ron Weasley#RON WEASLEY APPRECIATION#ron weasley defense squad#ron weasley defence squad#toxic harmony#anti harmione#anti dramione#hinny#ron x hermione#hermione x ron#harry x ginny#ginny x harry#hinny appreciation#Ginny Weasley#ginny weasley defense squad#anti harmony#reddit#instagram#shameless plug
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A Royal Pajama Party “Analysis” - Part 1 (of 7)
I mentioned (a while ago, oops) that I had a lot of thoughts on Diavolo’s character as revealed in the A Royal Pajama Party Devilgram. I ended up with so many screenshots, I couldn’t contain them all to a single post - so I’ve had to split it up into seven parts (ironically).
For this first part, I’m focusing on the free chapter. Spoilers under the cut, of course!
To start off with, I’m going to focus on this one, single screenshot. Despite how short it is, there’s a lot that’s revealed in just six words.
My main point of focus? Diavolo is so genuinely excited to spend time with you - actual time, not time he’s tried to slot in with some pretend event to trick you into hanging out with him - that he’s been actively waiting for you to turn up.
This is something I’ve noted before, but we know from previous Devilgrams that Diavolo doesn’t often get to spend time with other beings simply because nobody really wants to. He openly admits that he has to trick his friends into it by planning parties - as seen in the Concealed in Colour Devilgram - and that he struggles to get out of that habit now that he’s found someone (you) willing to visit the castle just to see him. No other alterior motives required.
And here he is, finally setting something up without trying to trick you into it! He doesn’t feel as unsure about your friendship with him anymore; he’s aware - and accepted - that you are there for him, to see him, and that he really can just ask for your time and have you willingly show up. So he’s created this little, private sleepover just to hang out with you. That shows a heck of a lot of improvement in his confidence with you and the strength of your friendship (or relationship, depending).
It also just shows the sheer excitement he has towards it. He’s anticipating the moment you arrive with such ferver that he’s been actively waiting for you. I’ll go over this a little more beneath another screenshot, but this really does highlight A) just how much it means to him that you’re coming over for a hangout and nothing more, and B) how rarely this happens for him that it’s an event worth waiting for.
This is, mostly, just exceedingly cute, in my eyes.
Firstly, the onesies are canonically a gift from Diavolo due to his enthusiasm for the concept of sleepovers and his enjoyment at having everyone wear one (which he believes makes it feel like a festivity). He’s so into the idea of everyone doing something together that, even if they aren’t specifically there with him, he’s had these outfits made for the beings he considers friends to unify them in fun and merriment.
These are things he’s never been able to do before. With his isolated and sheltered childhood, the experience of sleepovers with friends - something more than normal for most (if not all) of us - would have been something he completely missed out on due to the impossibility. He couldn’t get anyone close enough to him to even make friends, let alone have them spend the night with him playing games and having fun.
So, this act of making onesies and sending them out? This is probably his own way of replicating that experience. He’s aware that a lot of the demons - and possibly the angels - won’t be too enthused with the events he has planned, and might begrudge even showing up. Doing this instead - letting them have their own sleepovers but with his gift - is like giving them that freedom and distance from him while still being involved.
It also shows the sort of relationship he wants to have with them. Yes, he canonically needs to send everyone an outfit since that’s how outfits in these events work - but the devs could have just as easily come up with some other reason for them all having onesies. Considering the main event, it could’ve literally just been “these are outfits forced on them as part of the curse, and are retained afterwards as a reminder of the experience”.
To state, then, that Diavolo had these made for everyone - and combined with another screenshot I’ll show later, where Diavolo announces that he believes onesies to be part of the sleepover experience - shows that he wants the other main characters to be the kind of friends comfortable and happy enough in his company to willingly spend extended time with him.
(It also shows, I think, that they’re the friends he always hoped for as a child. You often find that people who were isolated as children or forced to grow up too quickly try to recreate moments they never got to experience in their childhood once they’re adults. I fully believe Diavolo is doing this. He’s always doing this; it’s why he can be so immature at times. He wasn’t allowed to be a normal kid, so he’s being a big kid now to make up for lost time. It’s why it’s so important to him that he does this sort of thing with others.)
Secondly, I love the wording of the second screenshot: “I’ve had yours specially tailored”.
This is a way around not showing MC with a onesie, and allowing all of us to create our own, sure. However, it’s also Diavolo openly admitting that he’s put extra work (and no doubt time and money) into having MC’s outfit created. After all, it’s not likely due to us being human; Solomon’s a human too, and he got his onesie without issue (Simeon explains that Purgatory Hall get theirs at the same time in his SSR Devilgram, Purgatory’s Pajama Party).
The implication? Diavolo didn’t just want to give us a onesie; he wanted to give us the perfect onesie.
Do you recall that I said I’d come back to Diavolo’s waiting later? This is why. (Please excuse the shoddy editing to remove my own MC’s name-)
This exchange says so much about Diavolo’s relationship with you. Not only is he anticipating your arrival, he’s anticipating it with such unrestrained glee that he - the Prince of the Devildom; most powerful demon in his entire kingdom - ignored typical royal protocol and sat down in front of the castle entrance, impatiently waiting for your arrival, so he could be the first person you saw as you entered.
The way he words it, you can imagine him bubbling with excitement, eyes constantly flickering over to the clock, shifting in his seat until the need to pace drew him to his feet, counting down the minutes until your scheduled arrival. Then, maybe fifteen minutes early - or thirty, or an hour - he can’t contain himself anymore. The sheer excitement - the knowledge that you’ll be there soon, there of your own free will, there to spend time with him - finally gets the better of him, and he sneaks away to stand before the grand front doors, eagerly awaiting the moment they open to reveal your much-loved form.
I’d definitely say it was a substantial amount of time, too. Fifteen minutes at the least, and maybe an hour at the most; Barbatos seems genuinely shocked, and the fact he says “all this time” implies Diavolo’s been guarding the door for a while. Longer than any reasonable demon - let alone a royal one - should have been.
This childish excitement really does show just how much of that lost youth Diavolo is getting back through MC. You let him experience things he never got to; things that were utterly normal for everyone else. He gets to replace those memories of loneliness and isolation with these moments of exhilaration and unrepentant joy - all because you treat him like someone normal. Someone worthy of care.
Additionally, the extent to his feelings towards you? Fully encompassed in that screenshot: “For [MC], no amount of time is too long.”
He cares about you and enjoys your company to such a degree, he’ll wait however long it takes just to see you. Every moment spent counting the minutes and seconds is worth it if, at the end, he gets to spend time with you. You - the one being he’s fully confident enjoys his presence as much as he enjoys yours - mean so much to him, you’re fully capable of making the Prince of the Devildom wait for hours, and he’ll be perfectly content to just sit there until you arrive.
What other being in all the Three Realms can claim the same thing? That they made the Prince wait for their arrival, and rather than be met with annoyance and disregard, they walked in to a veritable man-puppy so overwhelmingly enthused to see them he had to be scolded by his butler for breaking protocol?
The best part, of course, is Barbatos’ response. He sounds so resigned, so disbelieving; like a mother sighing over their child’s ridiculous behaviour.
This isn’t the first time Diavolo’s done something like this. This isn’t the first time Barbatos has had to reprimand Diavolo for acting in an un-princely manner over you. It’s something we’ve seen before, of course - in the aforementioned Concealed in Colour Devilgram, Barbatos teases Diavolo for constantly inviting MC over just to see you - but in this instance? When it’s not just Diavolo making up some scheme to lure you to the castle? It implies something else.
Firstly, it implies Diavolo’s behaviour regarding you is completely different to his behaviour regarding anyone else. That sort of childish, gleeful, almost puppyish excitement? The enthusiasm that makes him lose his poise and authority, and drives him to do such expressive things as wait to greet you at the front door? That’s very likely reserved only for you. It’s only you that he so wholly loses his shit over, to be absolutely blunt about it. It’s only you he feels so strongly for as to make such a bold declaration over.
Secondly, though? It implies this sort of... length, I think, is the best way to word it; the lengths Diavolo will go for you, even in really small, insignificant ways. “Whenever anything concerns [you] in the slightest”, Diavolo will forego all set boundries and standards. That feeling of resignation is Barbatos chastising Diavolo’s utter willingness to do... pretty much anything for you.
He’s just so excited that you’re there, he overreacts. From the tone, the sprite, and the wording used, I could fully imagine that, when it comes to you, Diavolo isn’t above diving out windows just to keep good on a promise. He isn’t above going the extra mile for your sake, whether asked for or not.
And though it’s done in a humorous way here - really just implying that Barbatos is a bit done with Diavolo’s sillier antics when it comes to you - it does make me wonder just how far that goes. It’s when anything concerns you “in the slightest”. Not just directly, but anything that has you in it even tangentially.
How much has Diavolo done, or planned, or changed, solely because it might have a glancing side-effect that makes you smile? How many times has Barbatos had to mention your name in something to get Diavolo to take an active interest in it? How many times has, “I believe MC would benefit from this...” actually worked to get Diavolo to consider a proposed deal?
More than that, however; if these are the lengths Diavolo goes to when you’re only slightly involved... what lengths would he go to if you’re more directly involved? What lengths would he go to if your involvement was something dangerous? Something that could have a rippling effect across the Three Realms?
You’re the only true friend Diavolo really has. He’s admitted before, more than once - both in the main game and in Devilgrams - that he’s aware both Lucifer and Barbatos don’t consider him as much of a friend as he considers them, and although we know of someone like Queen Rose, we don’t actually know the full extent of their friendship. Certainly not all too close, if the Dame event was anything to go by; it still felt stiff and formal, and Diavolo was still putting on airs.
You’re the only friend he can really let loose with; can laugh and play and spend time with, without having to do so through a veneer of formality.
He can be himself around you. Not the Prince, but Diavolo.
How far would Diavolo go to preserve the only friend he’s ever had?
+++
This post is the longest one of the lot, so if you made it this far - thank you! Hopefully it’s been an enjoyable and easy read.
The next set of screenshots are a bit more clear and don’t require so much in-depth thinking, but still provide plenty food for thought regarding Diavolo and his relationship with MC. They also go into content that you have to use Story Keys to unlock, so if you’re unwilling to see spoilers, you’ll have to end your reading here.
That said, if you’ve already unlocked the Devilgram (or are curious about what happens next/how much we learn about Diavolo in the next chapter), you can hop right over to part 2!
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Hi dear! I've seen you didn't talk much about Sadistic Beauty these days... What are your thoughts on ending and two side stories? Especially Wookying and Minho's one? Tbh I'm disappointed and disturbed :(
i had to step out of this story bc it was leaving me frustrated, irritated and disappointed not to mention very confused LOL. yep, im still fairly disappointed with where the author went with this. a major conflict that should or could have been in the main story was the whole drama including wookyung fighting with doona to get minho but it was swept under the rug only to return as some after thought as a side story (probably excluding doona). there was such a great opportunity to finish it in the main story but the author decided that minho had to suffer all of the consequences and everyone else is going scot-free LOL. truly a shame. i wasnt surprised that doona was ending up with haesol, never was into them, still not into them. i have a certain distaste for characters like haesol, he’d be best described as a simp. and i absolutely loathe simps lol. there’s a fine line with being there for someone and being there in hopes that smth more might change, he def wants to date doona and saying that he’s okay with how things are and if they don’t date, is basically a blatant lie to himself. if that was the case, he wouldn’t let her string him along and use him for sex. the feelings he has for her will just be kept in the back, but it will most likely resurface in some way or another. in the long run, it’d hurt him and that’s just not worth the hassle. obv since the writer wanted them to happen, he’s prob gonna get what he wants lol. i def found the whole rivalry btw donna and wookyung in order to get to minho way more fascinating, and wished it was explored more. now, the only thing im happy with is gyerin is probably getting her happy ending with the new girl. she’s also the only one who went “fuck this” once she saw doona wasn’t going to reciprocate her feelings, and im rlly glad she did that. at first, i didnt think much of her, but now, seeing how the story went (lmao), im all for gyerin being happy. and as for wookyung and minho, im interested in how their story will unfold. but i feel so so bad for minho, he was a jerk and an asshole i wont deny that, but he didnt deserve all of the hate and harm he got and still is receiving according to the side story preview. wookyung is still a great and fascinating character, i do like characters like him, but how he was used was just not satisfying. and it seems like there might be a case of stockholm syndrome coming up where he might fall for wookyung. i just wish doona had smth to do with it before she parted ways or she could have helped minho, but yeah. *shrugs* this story left me confused as to what the author is doing, there is wasted potential and opportunities at every corner. the plot goes one way then goes another to end on a weird note. i also think the whole gl, bl stuff was more of a fanservice thing and that’s probably why it’s more of a disjointed story? as in, i feel like the gl and bl stuff should either have been more of a focus and woven into the story or it should have been entirely separate so the author wouldn’t have to shove many things at once and just focus on one or two pairing. one thing i might add for the story is that it felt as if it was trying to make us surprised, but the so called “twists” that happened just made it more confusing and those probably shouldn’t have been there as they don’t add much to the story narrative. back to gyerin, you can see that gyerin and the new girl can have their own separate story from the start (she didn’t have much to do with the primary conflict and could easily have a flashback to doona instead of the whole fanservice lol). the same goes for wookyung and minho as well, and it’d have been perfectly fine. at the end you basically see three pairings, the m/f, the f/f and the m/m. however, we dont even know if minho is into men? so i’m not sure how’s that gonna be considered BL? then again, every pairing could have been in the main story, but it’s not? for some reason??? it feels as if the author wanted their pairings without putting in the effort of making it into the main story, hence the side stories or they just wanted to make it separated without putting too many characters in it. obviously, for wookyung and minho, there’s no way doona wouldn’t have done smth if it was fully explored in the main story, and it might have changed the ending too. there’s multiple ways the story could have gone, but this one was the only conflict that was much more interesting imo, but it wasnt used that much.
gyerin didn’t really have much to do there other than be lesbian fanservice for doona (and the audience, writer and maybe the artist too?), and to be some kind of support for haesol. that’s about it, so i can understand why she’d not have a full blown romance in the main story, but seeing that she keeps reappearing, she still could have her side story integrated into it. lmao i don’t even kno if doona is bi/pan lol or if she just had sex bc she was drunk then did it just for pleasure without being interested in women at all.
EDIT: iirc doona did get aroused seeing gyerin uh doing stuff, so it could be possible that she is interested in women, but maybe only sexually? although i still could be wrong lol and it could just have been a moment of “I’m straight, but horny and u’ll do for now”. she could be in the closet too, who knows.
overall, sadistic beauty had some interesting conflict, some good characters (ill never like haesol lol), good art and the storytelling by this artist is well paced, but the execution and where the story went leaves a sour taste in my mouth. would i recommend this story? absolutely not. it is so frustrating, and for what? i wish i had saved myself this headache from the very start but the art and the fact that doona was a dom was what reeled me in. i only came back to it to see if the writer redeemed their story in some ways, but... well... you saw how that went. i would follow the artist if i could, their art is beautiful. however, i cannot say the same for the writer. from my exp, it seems that many webtoons have good art, but the writing definitely leaves way more room for improvement. that said, i do hope ppl will learn that in order to make a great comic/webtoon/manga and so on, it is not only about pretty drawings. the story and writing should be up to par with the art. if not, it should be at least close to it. because the art might attract people, but if the story doesn’t resonate, if it doesn’t make much sense, then ppl are bound to leave and drop it. and what is a story, but pretty pictures and nothing substantial in it? nothing, but superficial beauty.
#sadistic beauty#rant#ramble#confused as fuck#wtf#why#sadistic beauty rant#spoilers#sadistic beauty spoilers#listen the amount of times i flipped my shit on this story would fill a whole bathtub
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I've seen some people say tat Rubys speech was just edited short. We didn't hear the full speech. Just snippets and reactions. Hence it being so broken and disjointed. I could believe that, but then it just become a horrible directing decision. That moment needed to be heard and reacted to in full. Either she gave the worst speech or whoever in CRWBY made the call to edit it that was messed up.
I made a transcript!
Uh… hi. My name is Ruby Rose. I’m a huntress. And if we’ve done everything right then I’m talking to all of Remnant right now. Dr. Polendina can explain more later, but right now you all need to know that the kingdom of Atlas is under attack. Things are dire and we need help. But please, try not to panic. This isn’t some new enemy or invading kingdom. This is a force we’ve faced before. For centuries. Salem. The White Fang, Atlesian Drones, even the grimm themselves have all been controlled and manipulated by her in order to tear down the huntsmen academies.
[Cut to Penny as opposed to a citizen watching. Ruby’s speech continues, but this may indicate that we lost some info, especially given the non-sequitur of the next line]
I know the idea of the Maidens and Relics seems, well, crazy, but I promise Professor Goodwitch of Beacon and Headmaster Theodore of Shade can verify all of this. They might even be able to help organize a way to fight back! But, sadly, General Ironwood can no longer be trusted.
[Harriet cuts the feed and we see Watts hacking Penny. It’s impossible to know whether the next line picks up where we left off, or skipped more speech.]
We didn’t have time to prepare for Salem, but now you do! Just because she can’t be destroyed doesn’t mean she can’t be beaten. If she really was unstoppable she wouldn’t have acted with such caution until now! She knows we’re a threat! So even if we—even if Atlas falls, you can’t give up.
[Penny is hacked, but it doesn’t seem to interrupt the connection. She’s only gone for a second]
I hope Amity tower will bring us all together. Because in the end that’s how we’ll win!
[Feed ends]
On the one hand I think it’s possible that we missed parts because RWBY has done that in the past. For example, we still have no idea if Ironwood knows that the Lamp still has a question left/what really happened with Ozpin because we never got to see the conversation between him and Oscar. On the other hand, Pietro was emphasizing how short Ruby’s recording was. They don’t need to keep Amity going for long and this is already a fairly substantial speech. The only place I’d say it’s really likely we missed something is right before mentioning the Relics and Maidens - just because that line comes out of nowhere - but otherwise it all reads as one thought building off of the one that (presumably) came before it. So I think it’s both. We may have missed stuff and Ruby gave a reeeeaaally bad speech. Let’s look at the transcript once more, this time with notes:
Uh… hi. My name is Ruby Rose. I’m a huntress. And if we’ve done everything right then I’m talking to all of Remnant right now. Dr. Polendina can explain more later (He can? Since when?), but right now you all need to know that the kingdom of Atlas is under attack (How are you being attacked? What does this attack look like?) Things are dire and we need help (What kind of help, Ruby? You’re talking to “all of Remnant,” 95% of which can’t do anything proactive help you. Give the ones who can do something some guidance). But please, try not to panic. (You just told everyone the situation is “dire” and that the most powerful kingdom needs help. Telling people not to panic will just make them panic more). This isn’t some new enemy or invading kingdom. This is a force we’ve faced before (They have no idea what you’re talking about right now). For centuries. Salem. (That name means nothing and just got more confusing with “centuries.”). The White Fang, Atlesian Drones, even the grimm themselves have all been controlled and manipulated by her in order to tear down the huntsmen academies. (What person controls people, tech, and grimm? How do you control grimm? Why is she attacking academies? What is this girl talking about? And how is this Salem attacking Atlas now? You just named three distinct tools, so if we come help what should we expect? Grimm? Another hacked army? Are we fighting people?? Also, congratulations on ramping up the racial tensions. Dropping “White Fang” in there is going to cause a lot of people to turn on the faunus.)
I know the idea of the Maidens and Relics seems, well, crazy, but I promise Professor Goodwitch of Beacon and Headmaster Theodore of Shade can verify all of this (I sure hope we missed part of the speech because otherwise Ruby forgot to tell them what these things even are. Still love her saddling Glynda and Theodore with this insane responsibility. They won’t be able to go anywhere in public now. Seriously. The entire WORLD just heard they’re the two people who can explain/fix this.). They might even be able to help organize a way to fight back! (Ruby is ignoring Salem’s immortality, as usual.) But, sadly, General Ironwood can no longer be trusted. (No information there whatsoever. Just a blanket, ‘Don’t trust him’ without reason or evidence.)
We didn’t have time to prepare for Salem, but now you do! (Okay, let’s just get the fighters together and--) Just because she can’t be destroyed doesn’t mean she can’t be beaten. (WHAT? She can’t be destroyed?? Well what are we supposed to do then?) If she really was unstoppable she wouldn’t have acted with such caution until now! (Well then why aren’t you stopping her? You’re the one with all the information and the most powerful kingdom at your back. If you can’t stop this scary Salem person, who can? I’m a random civilian just trying not to get eaten by regular, non-controlled grimm. Unless you’ve got the Spirit Bomb hidden away and need my energy, what do you expect me to do?) She knows we’re a threat! So even if we—even if Atlas falls, you can’t give up. (A whole kingdom is going to fall? The most powerful kingdom that provides most of our tech? AHHHHH)
I hope Amity tower will bring us all together (What was Amity Tower again? Is that something I should know about?). Because in the end that’s how we’ll win! (.......right.)
If I had seen that recording I would have a LOT of questions. Starting with who the hell Ruby Rose is beyond a “huntress.” If the kingdom is in so much danger why is this teenager telling us about it? Am I going to believe, on her word alone, that I should cut ties with a world leader? Amass an army/prepare for an undefined threat against something that “can’t be destroyed”? Imagine for a moment, no matter where you live, that a random kid suddenly appeared on your computer screen and said the nearest country is currently falling to an indestructible someone named “Salem” and you should prepare for that... somehow. Would you take that seriously for even a second? No! I’d be worried about my security (how did she get on my laptop?) and then texting my friends like, “Lol that was wild. Do you think it’s true??” Then I’d hop on tumblr to watch the memes start. Anyone who does believe it - or better yet, gets proof of it happening - is going to be lost. Prepare how? Help how? Ruby told everyone the most panic-inducing information possible and her only advice was “Don’t panic.” Because she told everyone before figuring out how to beat Salem.
This is why telling the world about Salem was always an awful idea and this is why you don’t let the untrained 17 year old give a clearly unplanned speech to the ENTIRE WORLD rather than, idk, finding a hostage negotiator or something. At least then they’d know how to provide reassurance other than “Don’t panic.”
As a final note, is anyone going to be able to replay this? Was anyone recording? Imagine the chaos of not just the message itself, but a message everyone talks about via memory. Ruby just sent the whole world spiraling.
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Stark Spangled Banner
Stab Me In The Front Part 4: Captain Asshat.
Intro: Steve’s being an asshat…and Katie isn’t standing for it. Throw in some alcohol and the return of America’s Asshole…and there’s trouble ahead!
Warnings: Bad language. Smut (NSFW, 18+)
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark
A/N: So this brings the KO XO to an end. I hope you’ve enjoyed this little side path. Huge thanks to @angrybirdcr for her edits and banners
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Part 3
Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist
“Steve…” Katie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose before she removed her glasses and rubbed at her eyes “Why are we even having this debate?”
“Oh, it’s a debate?” He folded his arms. “Here was me thinking you were just point blank refusing to listen to me.”
“Oh I’m listening.” She glared up at him from where she sat behind her desk. “You’re just talking shit.”
“I’m talking shit?” He fumed, blowing a breath through his nostrils. “The guy is an absolute dick, and you just voluntarily invited him to your gala?”
“Yes, because this is about the Charity.” She looked at him. “And like it or not, dick he may be, he gave a substantial donation. It’s only right.”
Steve felt the nerve in his jaw twitch “Right?”
“Yes, right. Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
“Are you forgetting what he said to you?” Steve looked at her.
“No.” She shook her head “I’m simply saying that I don’t care.”
“You don’t care?” His mouth fell open “You don’t care that he basically-”
“No, I don’t.” Katie cut him off firmly “And if I don’t anymore then neither should you.”
“Ok, so despite the fact that he disrespected my wife, and said some pretty disgusting things about you, I should just let that slide?”
“Yes.” Katie said simply, standing up as she turned off her computer screen before she looked at him “Because believe it or not I don’t actually need you to be offended on my behalf Steve. Now either let it go or don’t bother coming.”
“Fine, if that’s the way you feel then maybe I won’t.”
“And you call me a brat!” Katie snorted, as she walked past him towards the door of her office “You’re so full of shit.”
“I’m full of shit?” Steve snorted, and she stopped, turning to face him “You’re the one that is insisting on inviting that ass hole…I mean, even Natasha thinks you’re crazy.”
“Natasha?” Katie frowned, “What’s Natasha got to do with this?”
Steve hesitated and grimaced inwardly as Katie’s face rearranged into a look of understanding and she let out a scoff.
“You spoke to Natasha before me?”
“She asked me what was bothering me so I told her.”
“Damnit Steve!” She shook her head “Why is that you go running to other people about stuff before me? We’re supposed to be married.”
“Oh but it wasn’t an issue when you told her before me about what HYDRA did to you?” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and no sooner had he spoke he saw Katie’s face slip. “Shit, Katie, I-”
“That was a low blow Steve.” She swallowed, shaking her head.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t…”
“Fuck you.” She looked at him, before she turned and walked off.
Steve let out a groan of frustration, looking up at the ceiling as he cursed himself. That really had been unfair, the two issues weren’t even comparable. He hated when he spat out stuff like that, because even when they were in the middle of an argument he loved his wife beyond life itself, and hated seeing her upset or hurt. But damnit, sometimes she just riled him so fucking much. With a deep breath he pinched the bridge of his nose and turned from the office, shutting the door behind him, the automatic lock sealing the room. He made his way back towards the main common room, finding Sam pouring himself a drink.
“S'up Cap?” he asked, looking at Steve “You look like you lost a fifty and found a ten.”
“Oh, nothing, just had an argument with Katie.” he replied heavily “Said something pretty shitty.”
“Like what?” Sam asked. So Steve told him, and watched as the man raised an eyebrow and shook his head “Yeah, that was pretty fucking low Steve.”
“I’m well aware of that Sam.” he sighed, “Fuck.”
“Maybe you should swerve the Gala.” Sam shrugged “Give her time to cool off. I can’t see her forgiving you for that one so easily.”
“Forgiving him for what?” Natasha asked and Steve groaned, just what he needed.
Before Steve could stop him, Sam filled him in and Natasha looked at him, her face stony.
“Wow.” she shook her head. “What the fuck, Rogers?”
“I know, I know.” he said, holding his hands up.
“Thanks for dragging my name into it.”
“It’s me she’s pissed at, not you. And before you say it, with good reason…”
“I wasn’t gonna say that.” Natasha protested as Steve looked at her sceptically. She looked up at the ceiling “Ok, maybe I was.”
Steve rubbed at the spot between his eyes, he could feel a headache coming on.
“I suggest you go apologise.” Natasha looked at him.
“And pray.” Sam added “Because, damned, she aint gonna let you forget this one in a hurry.”
After thanking them, sarcastically, for their moral support to which Natasha snarked back that he didn’t deserve any, Steve wandered back to their living quarters. He knew his was a big thing for Katie, the night upon which SIP’s 6 monthly Fundraising efforts for the Women’s Charities they were partnered with ended, and he was so fucking proud of her for everything she’d overcome to get to this point. But he had basically thrown that in her face with his comments before. He was being a jerk, he knew that. He shouldn’t have let the fact she was inviting that dickhead rile him as much as it did, it was her event, her decision after all.
Steve took a deep breath before opening the door to their quarters and looked around, his sharp hearing picking up no sounds. He headed into the bathroom, the shower had clearly been used recently, and he found her absence odd as she’d told him earlier that her hair was getting done for the event, and normally Franco came to her. He pulled out his phone, gave her a quick call but no sooner had it rung than it cut to voicemail.
She’d red buttoned him.
*****
It was about an hour later when Katie walked into the apartment, her hair set in an elaborate braid which swept from the right side of her temple over to the left before the rest of her long locks were curled and fell over her left shoulder. She shot Steve a filthy looked and stalked straight through to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Steve’s head fell back against the sofa cushions, before he took a deep breath and decided it was time to face the music. He pushed himself up, walked into the room and found his wife sat at her vanity unit, digging out her make-up.
“Sweetheart,” he began tentatively, sitting on the bed “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
She glared at him in the mirror, but other than that made no acknowledgement that she had heard him.
“I was out of order.”
Still nothing.
“Katie, come on darlin’, don’t ignore me, please.“
"I’m ignoring you because if I don’t I’m gonna end up screaming at you.” she replied simply “And I’m not letting you spoil tonight for me.”
“Spoil tonight?” Steve frowned “That’s not what I want.”
“Well, you kinda already did in a fashion.” she shrugged “Now if you don’t mind I need to get ready. And your presence is not required. Either in this room, or the gala.”
Steve felt his face fall at that and he looked at her in the mirror as her green eyes locked on his “You don’t want me to come?”
“No."
"Ok.” he swallowed, fighting to keep his voice calm. “Then I respect your wishes.”
With that he stood up, and left.
As soon as he had shut the door behind him, Katie let out a sigh, her face falling into her hands as her elbows rest on the vanity unit in front of her. Steve’s face when she’d told him she didn’t want him at the gala had made her heart ache, he’d looked like a little puppy she had just given a harsh kick to. But she was so angry at him, she didn’t even know where to start. He was being an absolute dick over something that really wasn’t that big an issue, and then his dig about comparing him speaking to Natasha about what had happened to her…well, that was as low a blow as you could possibly get. At the time she’d been upset, angry even…now she was almost just shocked that Captain America had it in him to be so damned nasty.
Wanda had been astounded when she had told her what he had said, giving her that as a reason as to why Franco was going to be doing their hair in her room, not Katie’s apartment. Then, when Natasha had turned up, the Red Head had told Katie she had informed Steve he was out of order, but also that he seemed genuinely contrite as well when he had been talking to her and Sam.
Katie knew he was sorry, she didn’t need Natasha to point out that Steve had said what he had it in the haste of an argument. She knew only too well herself that in the heat of the moment people said things they didn’t really mean. But he wasn’t getting off so easily. He accused her of being a brat often enough and here he was acting like one.
So, with that in mind, she’d told him to stay behind. She knew full well that he would show up anyway after an hour or so of brooding, with another apology which she might be ready to accept at that point. But until then, he could fucking stew a little, think about what he had said some more
Raising her head she looked at herself in the mirror before she set about doing her make-up. It took her about 30 minutes to perfect the look she was going for, a dark smoky eye effect with bright rub red lips, another thing she knew drove Steve wild, before she stood up and grabbed her dress out of the wardrobe. It was a skin tight deep red mermaid style Dolce number, which sat off her shoulders with a small v neckline. She knew she looked good in it, which was why she had bought it in the first place along with a matching tie for Captain Asshat. Once she was in, she struggled with the zip which was at the back and after getting it most of the way up, instead of asking said Asshat for help she decided she would get Wanda or Nat to fix it. She stepped into her trusty gold Jimmy Choos before giving herself the once over. Satisfied with the results, she opened the door and walked down the hallway to the living room.
Steve looked up as Katie strode into the living room and felt his jaw drop. He really shouldn’t be surprised anymore at how stunning she managed to look when she was dolled up, but she still took his breath away every time he saw her. She looked great all the time in his eyes anyway but…damned.
She sauntered past him, without so much as a glance in his direction and he took a deep breath. To comment or not to comment now was the big question. Whatever he did or said he was going to be wrong in her eyes so…
Oh fuck it, in for a penny.
“You look stunning.” His head turned to watch her as she walked passed him heading for the door.
“Thanks.” She said, her tone clipped. But that was more of a response than he had expected. He hesitated for a second, about to offer to walk her down to the Marquee, even though she would likely refuse, but he stopped as he saw the back of her dress wasn’t quite done up.
“Honey, your zip.”
“I know.” She opened the door as he crossed the room towards her. “I can’t quite reach it…”
“Why didn’t you just ask?” He sighed, his hand going to help but she jerked away and spun round.
“I’ll get Wanda or Nat to do it.” She said simply.
“Oh, now you’re just being ridiculous.”
Her eyes flashed dangerously and he knew why. That was the single worst thing he could say to he when she was in this type of mood but he was beyond the point of caring now. She was being ridiculous.
“Look, I know I was out of order, but I’ve apologised. What else do you want me to say?” he asked, looking at her.
“Don’t wait up.” Her voice was steely, and with that she turned and left, closing the door behind her.
He debated for a second if he should go after her, but his own anger won out. Instead he turned round and walked straight to the cabinet they kept their liquor in. Finding what he wanted, a bottle of that Asgardian dynamite stuff Thor had left, he pulled it out, grabbed himself a tumbler and headed back to the couch.
*****
For the next hour or so Katie was too busy to even give Steve a second thought. She welcomed the guests and the limited press that had been invited, Evans and Sam providing her back up checking off the guest list, for which she gratefully thanked them both. She was just at the bar talking to one of the Charity Organisers when she felt a gentle touch on her elbow. She turned and beamed at the man stood in front of her.
“Harlan!” she smiled, as he leant down to gently kiss her cheek “I’m so glad you could make it.”
“The pleasure is all mine.” he smiled back. “How are you Mrs Rogers?”
“Good, thank you.” she nodded “It’s been busy but definitely worth it.”
“Well the predicted figures look good.” he nodded “You’ve raised a lot of money.”
“Yeah, it’s gone better than I could have ever hoped.” she agreed “I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”
Harlan waved away her comment and looked back over his shoulder. Katie followed his gaze and saw the man that had caused all the trouble between her and Steve, leaning at the bar. He was dressed in a smart, pin striped suit, his hair slicked back and his jaw clean shaven as ever.
“He came then.” she said, and Harlan turned back to her giving a low chuckle.
“Yes, you made quite an impression on him. I’ve never heard of him donating money to a charity before.” he mused
“Probably guilty he behaved like an ass hole.” she said, before she shook her head “Sorry, that was rude.”
“No more than he deserves.” Harlan sighed “The sad thing is, he’s not a bad man underneath it all. I see a lot of myself in him, just wish he would apply himself better to something. I’ve even tried to get him involved in the publishing company but he just isn’t interested. Suppose you can’t polish a turd.”
Katie let out a huge snort of laughter at the phrase tumbling from the old man’s lips and he gave her a large grin from behind his white beard as she shook her head “Now that’s a quote for your next book.”
Harlan chuckled again before Tony appeared by her side with a glass of champagne.
“Mr Stark.” Harlan shook his hand as Tony smiled at him.
“Mr Thrombey, pleasure.” he said, before he turned to Katie “Where’s Spangles?”
“Busy.” she said simply. Tony arched an eyebrow at him and she gave him a look, which he met with one of his own.
“Doing what?”
“Stuff.”
“Wow, yeah, that stuff…it’s…a pain…” Tony said, and Katie gave him a glare before she glanced around and Harlan struck up a chat with Tony about the latest Stark Industries initiative into wind farms. Natasha caught her eye and she excused herself and wandered over but as she was crossing the room, Ransom stepped into her path.
“Mr Drysdale.” she looked at him “No tatty sweater?”
He gave a huff of a laugh “No, I only wear the cable knit on special occasions.”
“Good to know.” she raised an eyebrow.
“So where’s your guard dog?” he asked, looking around.
“If you mean Steve, he’s otherwise engaged.” She said, shrugging “No doubt he’ll be along later.”
“Well in that case can I get you a drink?”
“It’s a free bar.”
“Yes, but I can still get you one.”
“I’m good thanks.” she waved the half full flute in her hand. “Now if you’ll excuse me for a second, I need to speak to someone.”
“Oh, Doll, I thought we left things on better terms.” he sighed, placing his hand over his heart, looking at her. Katie cocked her head to one side, before she flashed him a grin.
“I doubt you’re capable of leaving it on good terms with any girl you cross paths with.”
“Never had any complaints.” he smirked. At that Katie snorted.
“Well you can’t be meeting with the right women.” she said simply, and with that she moved past him, and headed over to Natasha who was beckoning her over.
“Everything ok?” she asked and Natasha nodded.
“Yup.I just got you a surprise.” she smiled.
“A surprise?” Katie frowned.
“Seeing as its a special occasion.” Natasha continued, linking her arm through Katie’s. She led her through to the entrance of the Marquee where a familiar face was stood talking to Evans, Sam and Wanda,
“S'up Nova?” Clint grinned at her as she gave a laugh and threw herself at him.
“What are you doing here?” she spluttered as he released her, stepping back slightly.
“Couldn’t miss your big event.” he smiled “You look great. Where’s Cap?”
“In the dog house.” Nat spoke before Katie could. Katie sighed and shot Natasha a look before she turned back to Clint.
“Don’t wanna talk about it.” she shook her head. “Now, come on, fill me in…how are the kids? Laura?”
She didn’t miss the look that Wanda, Sam and Natasha shared but chose to ignore it as she steered Clint towards the bar for a well overdue catch up.
*****
Steve drained his glass and poured himself another measure. Katie had been gone for just under two hours now and his mood was rapidly growing worse. More so because deep down he knew this was his own stupid fault. Because of his inability to keep his, albeit in his opinion justified, issue about Ransom fucking Drysdale to himself, his wife was now going through probably one of the biggest nights of her life without him there. And what made it worse was that smarmy bastard was there, probably eyeing her up, like he had done at the last gala, making some dickhead comment or other which he would no doubt weasel his way out of by sending another cheque for a ludicrous amount. Steve hated that, people that thought money made everything ok. And what was worse, it seemed to have placated Katie as well. He took a mouthful of his drink, the burn in his throat pleasantly distracting him for a moment, before he stared at the TV.
No, fuck this… this was his wife, his damned compound.
Necking his drink he stood up, the liquor giving him a pleasant buzz, before he strode into the bedroom, stripping off his sweater and jeans before he pulled his suit out of the closet. Slipping his arms into his shirt, he buttoned it up before expertly tying the tie Katie had bought him in a double Windsor, before grabbing his jacket. Once one he straightened his hair, slipped on his shoes he headed out of the door, making his way out of the side of the building, striding over to the marquee which was buzzing with people.
“Oh here he is.” Sam grinned at him “You’re a brave man, Cap.”
“Shut up Sam.” he said, rolling his eyes.
Sam chuckled as Evans raised an eyebrow. “Should I check he’s on the list?” he drawled, his Texan accent thick.
“I think Katie crossed him off.” Sam teased.
“Hilarious.” Steve deadpanned, stepping past them into the Marquee. His eyes quickly roved the crowd and he did a double take as he saw Clint with Natasha and Wanda at the bar. He’d had no idea the archer was coming, but right now he was looking for his wife, the reunion could wait. He continued to scan the Marquee and he spotted her and then felt his jaw clench as he saw she was stood with him. As he watched he saw her say something and she tipped her head back in genuine laughter, and touched his arm before she shook her head, and turned to someone else who had attracted her attention. Giving a nod she looked back to Ransom and he nodded, as she walked away.
“Spangles.” Tony greeted appearing at his side. “What’s going on?”
“Ask your sister.” he said, his voice stony. “I need a fucking drink.”
With that he strode over to the bar. Ordering himself a large scotch he turned to look for Katie again, but there was no sign of her. With a nod of acknowledgment to the guy behind the bar he took his drink and turned to look back over the room. He spotted a few familiar faces from the compound and the tower, nodding towards Pepper as she smiled at him. Tony looked at him again before he turned away, and then his eyes fell on Ransom who was stood with his grandfather. Ransom grinned at him, and Steve simply glared back, before he turned to greet Clint who had now appeared behind him.
“Hey Cap.” Clint smiled, and Steve returned his grin, shaking his hand.
“Hey Clint, didn’t know you were coming.”
“No one did, bar Nat. Thought it would be a nice surprise for Nova.”
“Sure she was thrilled."
"Am I sensing a little trouble in paradise?” Clint asked, and Steve scoffed.
“You could say that.” He shrugged, before he sighed “I said something before, that was out of order and now she’s giving me the cold shoulder. Told me not to come actually but…”
“But here you are.” Natasha said, leaning on the bar besides him “You’re either dumb, got a death wish…or maybe both.”
“Romanoff, just don’t.” He turned to look at her, and she smirked before ordering herself a martini. “How long has Drysdale been here?”
“Who?” Clint frowned.
“The smarmy looking asshole in the pinstriped suit.” He said, nodding towards him.
“About an hour.” Nat shrugged.”I’m not sure.”
“An hour too long.” Steve muttered, taking a mouthful of his drink.
“Are you seriously that bothered by him?” She turned to look at him. Steve didn’t reply.
“Clearly.” Clint said, “Who is he?”
“Harlan Thrombey’s Grandson.” Natasha explained “Harlan wrote the book that the SIP published and donated all the profits to the Relief Fund.”
“And you don’t like him?”
“They had a little run in Boston…” Nat smirked. “And then at the Launch…”
“It wasn’t a run in.” Steve shook his head “He was absolutely vile to Katie…”
“And she’s over it…” Natasha sighed
Steve didn’t reply, he simply watched Drysdale for a second before he turned his attention to the stage where Tony was now tapping the microphone. The Marquee fell silent and Tony grinned out.
“And once again I find myself the centre of attention.” he grinned, and the room chuckled. “But tonight isn’t about me, for once, yes I know, I know…”
He continued to talk for a few minutes, thanking everyone for coming before he grew serious and took a deep breath.
“As you will all know, the past 6 months Stark Independent Publishers has been working, in partnership with a number of Women’s Charities which are close to all of us in and around Stark Industries, and the Avengers for personal reasons as you will be well aware. We are seconds away from announcing our final fundraising total, so without further ado I’d like to hand you over to my little sister, who’s been the brains behind this from the very start. Kiddo, the stage is all yours.”
As he stepped back the Marquee erupted into applause and Katie walked up the steps to the stage, her face beaming as Tony swept her into a hug. She grinned at him as he kissed her cheek and she headed to the microphone.
“Thanks Tone.” she smiled, “That was short and sweet and actually very to the point, for once.” a few chuckles rang around and Steve simply watched his wife as she started running through what they’d been doing and how they’d been raising money, her passion and enthusiasm shining out of every inch of her body. As he stood still, he felt all the anger eb out of his body and instead it was filled with an overwhelming sense of pride. Katie finished her speech before she stepped back and turned to take an envelope from Happy who bent and kissed her cheek.
“So although I know the sales figures from our book, the rest of this is a surprise to me, as much as it is to you.” she smiled, and then her eyes locked with Steve’s. She gave a little surprised frown, and then her face softened slightly as he smiled at her and she gave him the faintest of smiles back, before she averted her gaze and grinned as Tony let out a loud yell.
“Drumroll please….”
Katie laughed as the tent was filled with the sounds of people banging on things, and stomping their feet. Steve watched as she opened the envelope and pulled out the card. Her eyes widened as she read the total and her mouth dropped open.
“Shit.” she spluttered, and the Marquee chuckled whilst she composed herself. “Sorry but…my God this is…” she swallowed and looked at Tony for a moment before she shook her head “According to this, the donations, sales…we’ve raised over fourteen and a half million.”
“Holy shit!” Steve heard Natasha splutter as his own mouth dropped open, and he joined in the cheering.
“This is amazing, but this also isn’t the end of it. Stark Industries will be doubling this total and all profits from the sales of "The Colour of Revenge” will continue to be donated.” She sniffed slightly and Steve could see she was getting emotional. He set down his glass on the bar and started to make his way over to the stage. "This money will save lives, give women a safe place to go when they’ve no one else to turn to. Thank you, thank you all for your overwhelming generosity. Now, please enjoy the evening and the entertainment and if any of you want to give us any more money, please feel free.”
At that she stepped back and Steve waited for her at the bottom of the stage steps, the applause ringing in his ears. He offered her his arm and she paused for a second.
“Oh come on, sweetheart” He pleaded gently. She allowed him to help her down before she turned to him
“I told you not to come.”
“Honey, this was your big night. I didn’t want you to do this alone.”
“There’s a marquee of people.”
“You know what I mean.” He said gently “I’m sorry, you know I am. Please don’t let’s fight now, I hate it.”
“I don’t want to do this here” she said, her tone soft “Not now Steve.”
"Ok.” he said, leaning down to give her a soft kiss. She didn’t turn away, which he took as encouraging “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you.” she smiled softly, “Now, sorry, but I have to go give an interview but…”
“Sure, come find me when you’re done.”
She nodded, and headed away from him towards someone he didn’t recognise, presumably some journalist. His eyes still on her back as she walked away, he felt slightly buoyed by her seemingly thawing towards him, so with a slight spring in his step he headed back to the bar. He ordered another drink, and had just taken it when a familiar voice drawled at him, and he instantly felt himself bristle.
“She’s one hell of a woman your wife.”
“What do you want Drysdale?” he asked, turning to the man.
“Nothing, I was just paying her a compliment.”
“Well don’t” he glared at the man “And if you value your life, keep your eyes and your damned hands to yourself.”
Ransom let out a snort “What you gonna do, throw me over the bar again?”
"Don’t tempt me.”
“We both know you’re not gonna make a scene here, not with all these people around, because that really would piss your wife off.” he leaned on the bar, looking around. “And then she’d have to send me another coat and a crate of snacks.”
“What are you talking about?” Steve frowned.
“Oh dear, didn’t you know?” Ransom smirked “Yeah, after I sent her the cheque and her knife back, she responded with a very nice coat and a couple of months supply of cookies.”
Steve’s nostrils flared as he looked at Ransom, then over to his wife and back again. “Are you shitting me?”
Ransom shook his head. “And they tasted all the more sweeter coming from her, if you know what I mean.”
“You smug, son of a bitch…” Steve stepped forwards, and a hand settled on his arm.
“Cap.” Sam spoke “Don’t…”
“Yeah Cap...” Ransom drawled, sipping his drink.
Steve shrugged Sam’s hand off his arm and glared at Ransom, the look on the man’s face was infuriating him. “Make one more wise crack I swear to God…”
“I don’t believe it.”
Steve’s head snapped to the side and he saw Katie glaring at him.
“Katie…”
“You just can’t help it can you?” she shook her head. “And I thought you were genuinely sorry.”
“To be fair…” Sam began to defend Steve but she held her hand up.
“I don’t wanna hear it.” she said, shaking her head. “I’m done…”
With that she turned and strode away.
“Oops.” Ransom said simply, picking up his glass. With a final look at Steve, he headed off back towards his grandfather.
“Well played.” Sam said, sarcastically, clapping Steve on the shoulder. Steve took a deep breath before he drained his glass and turned, leaving the tent.
******
It was pushing one in the morning when Katie got back to their living quarters. Steve was sat outside on their patio, the bottle of Asgardian shit on the table in front of him but thanks to his super hearing he knew she’d entered the room. Standing up, grabbing the drink, he moved into the doorway, leaning on it as she shut the door, shoes in her hand. She turned around and stopped when she saw him, eyeing him for a moment, taking in his appearance. His tie was loose, his shirt sleeves rolled up and she could tell from the look in his eyes he was drunk.
“You came back then?” His words were slightly slurred.
“Where else would I go?” She snarked back.
“I dunno, maybe to order Drysdale another coat or some cookies.” He necked the drink that was in his hand before he set the glass down on the dining table that stood in front of him.
“Seriously, that’s…that’s what all that was about?” she shook her head “God you’re an asshat.”
“An asshat.” He mused, pouring himself another measure of drink.
“Yes, an asshat.” she said, swaying a little on the spot. Fuck she was drunk as well, she’d ended up doing shots at the bar with Clint and Evans, never a wise move.
“Well I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment.”
“Oh fuck off Steve.” She sighed, “I’m going to bed.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, and she stopped, turning round.
“What about?”
“Your present to Ransom?”
“Because I didn’t think it was important, it was just a joke.”
“Fucking hilarious.”
“No, you know what is hilarious? This.” She gestured to him, a little unsteadily “You getting all fucking het up about a damned coat and some cookies. Now who’s being ridiculous?”
“I saw you.” He said, “When I first got there, you had your hand on his arm, laughing at him…”
“Oh Jesus Christ Steve!” She groaned. “I was talking to him, he was telling me something about his uncle!”
“You were all over him”
“Do you want me to go and fuck him or something?” Katie asked, “Because if that’s gonna make you happy, just to prove a point.”
“Don’t be fucking stupid.”
“Well shut up then!” She yelled back. “Sometimes I wonder what the hell goes on in your head. I love you, you know I do. I don’t want or need anyone else but at times you irritate the shit out of me.”
“The feeling is mutual, Doll.”
“Good, glad we agree on something.” She shook her head. “I’m going to bed. You carry on drinking yourself into a stupor. And you can sleep in the spare room.”
“Like fuck I am!”
“Fine, I’ll sleep in the spare room then.” she shrugged
“You’re such a fucking brat.”
“Me?” she laughed “I’m the brat? You’ve behaved like a prize prick Steven, and I’m so fucking pissed at you I can’t even…”
With that she turned and headed towards the bedroom.
“Don’t walk away when I’m talking to you.” He followed her.
“Or what?” She spun round, “What you gonna do…”
“Oh Doll, you have no idea how much you’re pushing me tonight.” He hissed, his voice low.
“Really Steve, how many fucking buttons am I pushing? Hmmm?” She leaned against the wall. “Do enlighten me.”
“You know it’s no wonder Ward cheated on you. If you were like this with him then…”
Whack!
Something sharp hit him in the temple and he dropped the glass he was holding, staggering back slightly. He glanced at the floor and saw that she had launched her shoe at him, her aim impeccable as ever. He raised his hand to his forehead, feeling the wet trickle of blood under his finger. It wasn’t a lot, she’d only nicked the skin but it was enough to sober him up slightly, and the words he had just spitefully spat at her echoed in his head.
“Katie…”
“You are the biggest fucking…” She spoke, her chest heaving, “Actually I don’t even have a word to describe what you are right now.”
“You hit me with a shoe.” He said simply.
“Yeah, want me to do it again?” She asked, waving the one that was still in her hand.
“Don’t.” He shook his head.“Look, I’m…”
“Oh save it.” she said, turning and walking into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
Steve’s hands fell to his hips, as he looked down at his feet. What the fuck was wrong with him? That was twice today he’d said something so despicable it made his toes curl even thinking about it. He’d been a grade A asshole, and he needed to make this right.
“Katie…” he strode after her, and headed into the bedroom. The en-suite door was shut and he could hear her sobbing in the bathroom. Fuck. “Honey I’m sorry.”
“Piss off.” she sniffled.
“Open the door, please.”
“No…”
“Don’t make me break it down. You know how precious Tony gets about us breaking things”
His joke fell flat as she remained silent. "Sweetheart…”
“Where did you learn to be so spiteful?” She yelled back through the door.
“I don’t know.” with a sigh he leaned against the door “I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of those things…”
“But you did.” she sobbed, and Steve felt the tears prick his eyes “Why?”
“I was angry, and…” he took a deep breath “I guess I wanted to piss you off as much as you pissed me off.”
“I pissed you off?” she snorted “Steve you came at me before with that comment about fucking HYDRA and now Ward…could you be any more nasty?”
“I know, I know…” he said, “Honey, I’ve no excuse. Please, open the door.”
There was a sniffle on the side and he heard her the swish of her dress as she moved. The lock on the door clicked and it opened a chink. He pushed it further and look at her, her mascara was streaked down her cheeks, her hair was messy from where she had clearly been fisting her hands in it and he instantly felt the pang of guilt and regret in his chest tighten even more. “Oh baby girl…” his voice cracked “I’m so sorry…I really am.”
“How could you even think for one minute that I’d even look at that jerk in that way?”
“I don’t not really” he said, shaking his head. “I’m an ass hole, a jealous ass hole…I just, sometimes I can’t believe…” he stopped, and shook his head “You know what, it doesn’t matter. I was out of order.”
She paused and looked at him, sniffing. “You can’t believe what?”
“Honestly, it doesn’t matter.”
“For fucks sake, Steve!” she spluttered “Stop it!”
“I can’t believe that you, well that you chose me you know?” he sighed, his hand running through his hair “I just…”
“You’re a dick.” she shook her head. “I married you, you ass hole.”
“I know, and I wonder why sometimes.”
“So you’ve been a spiteful bastard because you feel insecure?”
“No, well, partly…” he sighed “Look, seeing you before with him and then he he told me about the box and stuff…I just saw red.”
She looked at him and shook her head “That is not an excuse.”
“I know it isn’t.” he looked at her “I know.”
She looked at him for a moment before she shook her head and walked out of the bathroom, over to her vanity table, sitting down. She pulled out the wipes and began scrubbing at her face, removing her make-up. He sat on the edge of the bed, in the same position he had a few hours ago and simply watched her. Eventually, when she was happy her face was clean she looked up and he saw her eyes travel over his reflection before she frowned.
“You’re bleeding"
"Well, you’re a damned good shot” he shrugged. “And those heels are sharp.”
She stood up and turned, stepping into the space between his legs.
“Honey it’s…”
“Shut up” she instructed.
Knowing he had pushed his luck already he did as he was told and she gently wipe at the cut on his temple, his hands falling to her hips as she did so. He was pleased to see she didn’t push him away. He watched her intently as she cleaned his face.
“I think you’ll live” she said gently, tossing the wipe into the waste basket. His hands flexed on her hips and she looked at him.
“I really am sorry.” he said again “I love you, so fucking much. At times I just don’t know how to deal with it.”
“By not being a cunt.”
“Wow.” he snorted “Did you just drop the c-bomb?”
“Justified.” she muttered, her hands falling to his shoulders “Damned it Steve!”
“I know, I know.” he said his hands, smoothing down the back of her thighs.
“I love you too, so much it hurts at times.” she shook her head “You know the amount of women that look at you in such a way I know what they’re thinking but…I get over it, you know? Because you married me and…” she let out a deep breath. “You go ballistic whenever I question how you feel about me compared to Peggy and yet you come out with the stuff you said today.”
Steve looked down at the floor, his hands still curved around her legs “I know. My ma would be ashamed.”
Katie took a deep breath before she moved her hand and tilted his face up to look at her. His eyes were shining with tears and she let out a sigh, dropping a kiss to his forehead as her hand slid round the back of his neck, nails dragging over his skin.
“I love you.” she muttered “You big, dumb idiot.”
They stayed silent for a moment and Steve looked up at her, smiling softly.
"You know you really looked amazing tonight. I’m just sorry I didn’t get chance to appreciate it more.“
"Well…” she took a deep breath. “I know I didn’t let you help me into my dress…but you can help me out of it if you want?”
He raised an eyebrow at her, a smile flickering across his face “ Yeah?” he asked, gracefully rising to his feet.
She nodded, biting her lip. He leaned down to give her a soft kiss before he whispered against her mouth “Turn around.”
She did as she was told and Steve reached for the zip on her dress, sliding it down gently, his fingertips brushing her skin as he did so, allowing the dress to fall at her feet and he let out a soft moan as he glanced down, seeing that she was braless. His hands gently guided hers up so they reached back around his neck, and he swallowed at the sight of her presented to him. One hand moved down, splayed on her stomach, pulling her back into him as the other swept her hair out of the way as his head dipped, trailing kisses across the back of her shoulders, before he made his way up her neck, his teeth softly grazing her ear. She let out a soft sigh, her head tilting to one side as his lips continued caressing her soft skin, the hand that was on her belly started slowly to make its way downwards, sneaking beneath the waistband of her panties. His fingers gently parted her folds, and she gave a little gasp as he began to coax her softly, his other hand reaching up to caress her breasts, gently kneading before he pulled on her hardening nipple. She arched her back into him slightly, a breathy gasp escaping her as he continued to tease her, his mouth hot on her neck.
“Like that?” his own voice was raspy, his arousal evident in his tone and she gave a nod.
“Don’t stop…” she begged, and his fingers began to work faster against her nub, the hand on her breast also picking up the pace slightly.
“You’re so beautiful…” he whispered and she moaned and writhed in delight at his praise and his actions as he worked her over. With a quick flick of his wrist, he pushed two fingers into her and curled them against her spot and her head fell back even further into him as she let out a soft whimper of his name, his hands upping their pace slightly as she began to buck into his touch. She arched her back, her mouth fell open and then her head rolled forward as she came, knees trembling, her hands pulling at his hair. He held her up in his strong arms and whilst she was still in the after throws of bliss he nipped at her neck, drawing a soft groan from her mouth. Steve gently turned her round and lifted her up, placing her gently on the bed, kneeling over her as he discarded his shirt, tie by which point she had recovered slightly and sat up, her hands pulling at his belt buckle. He leaned down to capture her mouth in a deep kiss, and he grinned against her mouth as she whipped the belt from around his waist, tossing it to the floor before she undid the button on his pants, pushing them down over his hips along with his boxers. Once he had shimmied out of his remaining clothes, he fell over her again, his hands cupping her face as he kissed her hard, using his leg to part hers. With a sharp thrust that made her cry out, he sank into her, his lips back on hers, as he stilled for a moment, grinding up against her. Her head fell back against the pillow and he started to drive into her, his thrusts hard, deep and he moved his mouth down to kiss and lick and suck all along her shoulders, knowing full well he would leave marks there for the morning but neither of them cared as their moans grew louder as his thrusts grew more desperate.
“Fuck.” he groaned, both hands now on her hips as he continued his movements, looking down at her as her breasts bounced as her body moved with every slam he made into her. Her hands moved from where they had been gripping at his biceps to bracing herself against the headboard, causing her to push back against him, allowing him to push deeper. As her breathing adopted the tell tale staccato rhythm, he moved one hand to the back of her head and he used it to make her look up, her eyes locking onto his as he felt her body start to quiver.
“Come on doll…” he practically growled “let go for me…”
It wasn’t like she had a choice. She never did when it came to this. Her pupils were blown now with lust and desire and after another 3, 4 hard thrusts her back arched and her hands flew to his back, nails scratching at his skin. He hissed at the bite of pain, dropping his mouth to capture hers as she moaned again, this moan broken as she bucked upwards and clutched at him desperately.
“Stevie…” she moaned and her walls tightened on him as she came hard, and the feel of her tightening and pulsing around him tipped him him ferociously over the edge after her, his hips stuttering as he gave into the wave of pleasure with an incoherent babble of her name, before he tipped forward, falling onto her, his face buried in her neck.
The pair of them lay still, the only sounds in the bedroom now were the deep, ragged drawings of breath. Katie gently ran her hands through his hair, as she always did, relishing his weight on top of her. This was the only way she could ever lift Steve, his body on top of hers rising and falling through the movements of her deep breathing. Eventually he raised his head and pressed their foreheads together, his nose sliding up and down hers gently.
"I love you.” he whispered “You know that, right?”
“Of course I do.” she sighed, looking at him “But Steve, you really did behave like a jerk.” “I know, and I’m sorry.” he said, his hands moving to brush her hair back. “I really am.” “I know you are.” she said, her hand gently running down the back of his neck, and he closed his eyes slightly, allowing her touch to relax him even further. “I don’t understand why you think I would even want anyone else.” “Well, I guess you can take me out of that little kid that got his ass kicked all over Brooklyn, but you can’t take that little kid out of me.” he sighed, his head hanging slightly as he shook it letting out a deep sigh.
She considered him for a moment before she leaned up and gave him a soft kiss “I love you, Steven Grant Rogers, not Captain America.” “I know Doll.” he nodded “I know.” With a gentle movement he pulled out of her and pushed the covers of the bed down, before he rolled onto his back, as she scooted over to him, her head laying on his chest, one of her legs pushing through his as she snuggled closer. He pulled the duvet over them and reached over to hit the switch which would cut the lights in the room.
“This doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you.” she said softly as his hand carded through her hair, his chest warm against her cheek as it gently rose and fell with his breathing.
“I wouldn’t dream of suggesting it does.” he chuckled slightly kissing her head “I’m not that stupid” “Jury’s out.” she yawned slightly, the arm that was draped around his waist gave him a squeeze and he pulled her closer nuzzling into her hair.
It wasn’t long before he felt her relax and he glanced down, just able to make out in the dim light that her eyes were shut. He watched her face for a moment, the face he could draw from memory, and had done as a matter of fact several times, an let out a deep breath. She was right, he was an ass hole, and at times he knew he didn’t deserve her. But she loved him and wanted him, and damned it he’d try and be worthy of that love and want every damed day for the rest of his life.
“I love you so much doll.” he whispered into her hair.
“Love you to Soldier…” she muttered back, her face pressing further into his chest. With a smile he dropped a kiss on her head, closing his eyes as he felt the tendrils of sleep pulling at him, happy that they were going to be ok, not that he doubted that for a second not, really They’d come through far worse after all, and like his Ma always used to tell him.
Tomorrow is another day after all.
***** Chapter 28
**Original Posting**
#stark spangled banner#steve rogers#steve rogers x ofc#steve rogers x original female character#Katie Stark#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers fic#steve rogers smut#ransom drysdale#knives out
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Who is Jesus of Nazareth?
A Devotional Study of the Gospel of Mark
Mark 3:7-12 - Healing Sought
By xapitos. All rights reserved. 2022.
Introduction
This study of the Gospel of Mark from the Christian Scriptures follows the premise to take a book at face value. This is a common practice for books. Thus, this study will look at the historical, cultural, archaeological and grammatical context of Mark’s Gospel to see if it truly is what it claims to be, namely the words of the God of the Hebrews, without any errors and final in authority to all that it speaks, claiming that Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ, the Messiah of Israel, who shall deliver his people, and the world of mankind from our rebelliousness against the holy LORD of Israel, King of the universe. If errors are discovered, then the Gospel of Mark will be assumed to be false. Until such a discovery, the book is accepted at face value.
I translate the Gospel of Mark from its Greek manuscripts and follow the paragraph division of The Greek New Testament, third edition by the United Bible Societies. Thus, my Scripture reading may vary from yours here and there in small details. The Hebrew Scripture references are from the Masoretic Text of the Hebrew Scriptures in the Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia edition of the Masoretic Text. The Masoretic Text was copied by Hebrew scribes about 1000 A.D. and has been substantiated by various Hebrew manuscripts, the Dead Sea Scrolls, and the Septuagint, which is the Greek translation of the Hebrew Scriptures. The Septuagint is dated third to second centuries B.C. The English version of the Holy Bible used in this study is the New International Version, the NIV.
It is necessary to say a word about the translation of the Greek text. I intentionally translate the Greek as it is written, not smoothing out the English translation, as is done in English Bibles based on the original biblical languages of Hebrew, Aramaic, and Koine Greek. At times, the translation will come across awkward, wooden, and repetitive in English. Translating from one language to another can appear this way. Another factor is involved, namely, that it is obvious that God wrote the New Testament the way he did to emphasize what he wanted to emphasize through the Greek grammar and sentence structure. Without translating this way, such divine emphases would be missed by the English. The same can also be said of the Hebrew Scriptures.
It is interesting to note, to me at least, that Mark continues to use the conjunction “and,” at the beginning of almost every clause. Some might call this poor grammar. I call it a “child’s heart.” Remember when your children were (or are) young and when they became excited, they just talked and talked, almost without breathing? This is what Mark’s continual use of “and” shows me. He is so excited about Jesus and his story, that it appears that he cannot wait to tell us everything he learned from the apostle Peter (Simon) about Jesus.
Study
3:7 And Jesus with his disciples went up to the sea, and a great multitude from Galilee followed, and from the Jordan, (8) and from Jerusalem, and Idumea, and beyond the Jordan and around Tyre and Sidon, a great multitude, following how much he was doing, they to him. (9) And he spoke to his disciples, in order that a boat to make ready for him, because of the multitude, in order that they not press him. (10) For many he healed, so that to push forward him in order that they might touch, whomever, as whips. (11) And the spirits the unclean ones, when him they saw, fell before him and cried out saying that, “You yourself are the Son of God.” (12) And many he commanded them in order that not him manifest they might make.
3:7 And Jesus with his disciples went up to the sea, and a great multitude from Galilee followed, and from the Jordan, (8) and from Jerusalem, and Idumea, and beyond the Jordan and around Tyre and Sidon, a great multitude, following how much he was doing, they to him.
A casual reading of Mark 3:7-12 might cause us to skip over the nuggets found within it. “Yes, yes, we know Jesus healed a lot of people, Let’s get on with the story.” Yet, I find this passage to be quite insightful and a great follow up to Jesus’ presenting himself as the New Life and the Sabbath Rest. Verses 7-8 give the geographical areas to which the stories and eyewitness accounts of his fame, of his healings and exorcisms, as well as his challenging the religious leaders of Israel have traveled. Ears passionately waiting for something truer and deeper than the traditions and laws of the religious leaders have heard of Jesus. News has spread all the way to Jerusalem, one hundred plus miles from Capernaum (Jesus’ headquarters in Galilee), to Idumea, below Judea, where Hebron and Southern Israel are along the shoreline of the southern end of the Dead Sea stretching west to Ashdod, a 120-145 mile walk to the Capernaum area (maybe further with all of the up and down on the hills, the valleys).
Tyre and Sidon are two cities in ancient Philistia. At the time of the Israeli Conquest of Palestine, the tribe of Asher was commanded by the Lord to wipe out these two cities. They had highly fortified walls and the Asherites disobeyed the Lord, not wiping out the cities. The wickedest queen of Israel came from here. And yet, at the time of Jesus, people around these two cities now come to be healed and hear from him. His fame has reached into the land of Israel’s enemies.
Thousands of people have walked, ridden donkeys and camels, travelled on a wagon to see Jesus the healer, who challenges the religious leaders about the true meaning of life being in him, and him alone. Many have brought loved ones and friends to be healed. Many have come to be healed themselves. The journey has been difficult at best. Most have travelled a hundred plus miles. It’s one thing to ride in a car, train, or plane. It’s another story to walk, ride a donkey, camel, or wagon on such an arduous journey along small paths and roads, risking being robbed or killed by bandits, leaving behind your home, your crops, your meager income. Food is hard to come by. Water is not a faucet away. The drive to be healed and in the presence of Jesus outweighs the risks. The possibility of having a better life through his healing touch, words, or look, is worth risking it all.
Self-reflection
How far would you walk, sacrifice, sweat, be dirty and dusty from a carless and planeless journey to see Jesus? How much are you willing to sacrifice personally, loosing work time, tending to your responsibilities and demands to see and hear him?
How much are you willing to assist someone in their journey toward Jesus?
What will you risk to become closer to Jesus?
(9) And he spoke to his disciples, in order that a boat to make ready for him, because of the multitude, in order that they not press him. (10) For many he healed, so that to push forward him in order that whomever might touch as whips.
The multitude is so large, that Jesus asks for a safety plan, if needed. A small boat to distance him from the multitudes. This statement gives thought to the desperation of these thousands of people. They are desperate for a better life through being healed. They have heard the stories of Jesus’ countless healings thus far. It is obvious to Jesus that the multitude of the sick, the lame, the blind, the demon-possessed are so desperate that the situation might become overwhelming.
This makes one pause to touch on the humanity of Jesus. He is but one man. The Lord of the Sabbath, yes. But, still only one man. Can he heal in mass? Certainly. But that was not the way by which his Father had chosen for him to heal. In his humanity, Jesus had limitations. Not limitations of being God but limitations of his setting aside the infinite powers of his divinity, his glory, kingship, rightful place as the Son of Man who came not to be served but to serve. And thus, part of that service is personal, eyeball to eyeball healing. Compassion is always personal and is always most effective that way. In the midst of our ever growing depersonalization of our culture, the compassionate touch of Jesus stands in stark contrast. It calls us to be personal in return, to take risks with being personal and compassionate toward others.
I cannot help but think that because Jesus was so personal, the multitudes of people felt comfortable around him. This comfort was leading to the possibility of human hysteria. Jesus knew that these dear people had risked all and travelled far for him to heal them. The thousands were coming and coming. He saw that they would press him to be healed. A sign of desperation and of hope. We people will do anything, when we are desperate and when we have hope. Jesus knew this. He would not allow such desperation and hope to press him away from the plan for which he came, namely, to preach the Good News far and wide. Thus, the boat.
Verse 10 states the above so succinctly and clearly, For many he healed, so that to push forward him in order that whomever might touch as whips. Picture that in your mind. Jesus had healed many, there were many more not yet healed. They had travelled so far and with great difficulty physically, economically, etc. And they are not going to be denied. And so the begin to press upon him, trying to touch him as whips. Picture the multitude surrounding him, pawing at him with their arms, trying to just touch him, so that their lives can be changed for the rest of their lives.
(11) And the spirits the unclean ones, when him they saw, they fell before him and cried out saying that, “You yourself are the Son of God.” (12) And many he commanded them in order that not him manifest they might make.
It is obvious from verse 11 that unclean spirits were behind some of the illnesses, lameness, mental illness, etc. There is no way of knowing how many were demon-possessed. There is no way of knowing how many of the multitude were ill with whatever, as a result of demon possession. All we know is that there was demon possession of humans. Yet, the humans had enough control to travel the arduous journey, either by themselves, or brought by another or others to be healed by the Lord of the Sabbath, in whom is true Sabbath/spiritual rest.
There are some observational facts to mention regarding demons. First, they fall in submission before Jesus. Second, they cry out (I believe in fear, for they know who Jesus is and that his word is final). Third, they emphatically identify him, “You yourself are the Son of God.” Jesus calls himself the Son of Man (Daniel 7). The demons identify him as the Son of God. Fourth, they do not doubt his existence nor his person. Fifth, they are afraid of him. Sixth, they obey him. His command is just that. His word is final. The demons dare not disobey. They did once, a long time ago. They do not now.
Verse 12 is insightful into how God thinks and functions. Jesus would not allow the demons to identify him to the point that they manifested him to the multitude. By the placement of the word manifest in the grammatical structure of this verse, the action of demons clearly showing who Jesus is, is emphasized. Jesus will not allow demonic spirits to give testimony as to who he is. He does not need their witness. The teachings, the authority and the healings are witness enough. In the Hebrew Scriptures, signs and wonders play an important role as to identifying the reality and the personhood of Yahweh. He used them through Moses, Elijah, Elisha and on it goes. His works give testimony as to his true identity. His enemies, demons, have no role to play in this identification. We humans have to choose who Jesus is for ourselves. Freedom of choice. Jesus wants people to be witnesses as to who he is. People who have exercised their free will to choose to believe that Jesus is the Son of God based on what he does, what he says and how he says it.
Self-reflection
Whom do you say that Jesus is and why do you say it?
How has Jesus manifested himself to you?
How has this manifestation changed your life?
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