#else can see it too idk
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#i am so tired of life i want to drop out of school but i have no motivation to do anything else rn also if i do i am wasting time once again#and i already wasted sm time as is i might as well suck it up and finish but then again i feel like i dont belong at all and like everyone#else can see it too idk#also ive been depressed for months it gets better some days and then it gets worse again idk what the fuck to do anymore honestly#please ignore
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...THEY CAME FROM OUTER JERSEY!
#my art#my chemical romance#mcr#mcr fanart#mikey way#i saw someone else draw this i thin k but this magazine appearance has been eating me alive. i needed t o draw it#im so sick rn idk if you can see the file name but its something like mikkeeeyyyyyy im so sickkkkk mikeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy#also please dont expect tons of mcr art from me i can only draw mikey Okay. everyone else is too hard to draw. mikey is just shapes though#done rambling in my tags seeeee eyouuuuuuu later OU WAIT#im working on lps customs of kobra kid party poison and revenge frank rn#might post those =D#ok bye
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Last part for old GF sketches
(Actually, most of these aren't old at all, but their average is brought down by the last picture, which I drew back in August and kept forgetting to post)
#fanart#drawing#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#i wish more people talked about Ford's piano skills#and his shadow puppet skills#i forgot what i was thinking when i rushed these out#something about Ford only taking pride in his skills because of how other people (ie Stanley) appreciate them#and how he attributes everything exceptional about himself to his hands bc that's where his deepest insecurities/motivations come from#but that isn't something Stan or most people think about at all#but he also IS really talented#and so he gets this big fragile ego#stemming from his mother and brother's praise#but also filbrick's neglect#so it's like outside validation is a substitute/reminder of the people that really loved him#bht also he thinks he's different from them and better than them#but he does love them#and he likes making them proud because he likes seeing them happy#maybe he doesn't know how else to make people happy#something something#Stan being his biggest supporter is a double edged sword#because his opinion matters the most and then he's gone#and Ford doesnt have anyone to show off to anymore#OR anyone who can call him a showoff when he gets too into his own head#OR the person he was pitted against in the first place that made him feel special#because- knowingly or not- they always compared themselves#idk man#Ford is an interesting guy and his head fascinates me
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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something bad’s about to happen to me
why i feel this way, i don’t know maybe
#tgaa#tgaa chronicles#tgaac#art#great ace attorney#the great ace attorney#dgs#fanart#herlock sholmes#sherlock holmes#dgs sherlock holmes#dai gyakuten saiban#lyric quotes#dark red by steve lacy#idk i had this visual stuck in my head for a couple of days#dgs2#dgs2 spoilers#i feel like after really marinating in whatever the fuck happened in 2-5 i have come to realize how scary this man is#i’ve been watching a play through to see if i can catch anything i couldn’t on my own play through and like#dude he drops so many hints and foreshadowing it’s fucking crazy how the fuck do you know all of this mr sholmes!!!!#he will always be a silly character but i cannot help but remember how genuinely unsettled i was by the way he acted at the end of 2-2#and also the time in the waxwork museum where he was questioned by susato and ryunosuke#where his trolling characteristics were basically implied to be a bit of an act#and i was like. damn. holy shit. because i almost fell for that act too. i almost believed him until he said smth like#‘but that won’t fly with you’ or something and ryunosuke affirmed it by saying that anyone else could’ve made a mistake but not mr sholmes#augh. he’s just a really good character ok
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Okay. hear me out. Creaking Helsknight
#atlas.art#artists on tumblr#mcyt#hermitcraft#helsknight#welsknight#the creaking#do you see my vision#his heart gets left back in hels when he comes to hc through the cloning machine#something something you are a creature not entirely your own devoted to one purpose belonging to one place#and then suddenly you are somewhere else and you are alone and without purpose and you are your own being for the first time in your life#and it feels like there is a hole in you somewhere. like you have lost something vital. you want to find it again. go home. feel whole.#but at the same time in it's absence you have become something else entirely#and you're not sure if you can ever go back to belonging to a separate whole again#not to. uh. get existential with it or anything.#thought about this too long today mayhaps. whoopsie.#anyways his name being hels like the place because he is entirely a part of it as an extension of the creaking heart... .. . .#literally the knight of hels as in created from it and not seperate from the land itself#idk what all of this would imply about wels lol#someone else can figure that out
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arrives 15 min late with a latte
......sup
#yosuke hanamura#persona 4#cool now that its done i can ramble in the tags#fellas im surprised hes here and done#did not think that was gonna happen#fuck i forgot smth#eh ill fix it before i make my print#anywho i might make more i might not who knows not i#yukiko is the next one i have half an idea on but also i have some shining nikki designs rattling around with my sole braincell#i also made a shadow alt for the back but idk if i like the mouth so yall arent gonna see him#also i need to find a gold foil guy that does odd sizes and like moq of 1#bc i wanna do this in gold foil#and its tarot card size bc im dumb as hell#but i want a print for my wall and i know sure as shit no one else will want one hence the moq of 1#my heart wants to make the whole major arcana for p4 but my past completed works says °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 𝑛𝑜 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・#so whatever gets done will get done#also im gonna reblog this a lot bc i put in too many hours to get a singular note by me so like if you dont wanna see it block me lmfao#if you have any hot takes for future cards please share with the class bc i only have ideas for yukiko and a full cast she does not make fr#so uh yeah yeehaw#idk what else to ramble about but like cannot believe yosuke fucking hanamura is the first chara to get a completed piece in 5 years#im not fucking kidding#the rest were all quick graphite or abandoned#hes not even my fave in p4- thats naoto protag chan kou and nanako#boys lucky to hit top 5#he just kinda crawled into my affection like some kind of sad pathetic creature idk how it happened either#maybe hes overprocessed now that im looking at it#nope i looked too long this is it this is how he is#ill do better by the women i promise
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i do have a question that is bothering me
if gardenview shut down why were the toons left there wouldn’t the owners take them with them or atleast give them somewhere else to stay
PERSONALLYY i don't think theyve been shut down All That Long? like probably notif they still have electricity and food they gotta pay bills and buy food right. like the gardenview building doesn't seem Abandoned abandoned. maybe Arthur and Delilah still have have ownership of the building and were clinging to We Can Fix This we can get back in business And Soon. but also the toons just already Live in that building, we haven't seen all of them but they all presumably have their own bedrooms. there are nearly 30 toons and qwelver has said There Will Be More. so it's kinda a Where Could They Even Go situation
#also idk abt anyone else but. i think arthur and delilah might be like. dead. by the time the game happens.#delilah definitely died first. um. ✌️#what making 30 or so toons does to an mf#i dont want to think arthur just Abandoned them after the shutdown. i can see delilah doing that. like partially out of shame/grief#but they had a cartoon and Whole Museum. a big ass building and toons inside. this is His Life's Work. i dont he'd just give up on them#GODDD arthur still coming by after the shut down to keep the toons spirits up best he can#making excuses for delilah for why she couldn't come in. continuing to do so after she dies. would he even tell them she died. hoe could he#they just notice hes gotten sadder one day. and then eventually hes gone too. god. god. christ#maybe dandy made the twisteds bc he was spiraling. hes already lost his livelihood and now his creators. maybe he needed to feel in control#cant wait to get even a crumb more information about the handlers that makes me sick in the head about them too#dandys world#the monarch’s court
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thinking about touch starved touch sensitive gojo again. Absolutely desperate for even the most grazing touches from getou and yet overwhelmed by it all.
#anyway irl i think i just went on the most awkward coworker not date but a little too sus to just be a casual dinner#what made it sus i think was one the deliberate choice to not invite any other coworkers#and two the fact the conversation had a direct flight to our dating histories#but also im insane maybe this is Normal dinner coworker conversation IDK#IDK ANYTHING ABOUT SOCIAL INTERACTION#HE WAS MAKING AGGRESSIVE EYE CONTACT AND I WAS LIKE BRO CAN U STOP THATS A LITTLE TOO INTIMATE MAYBE WE CAN JUST LIKE STARE AT EACH OTHERS#EARS OR SMTH PLEASE?#me starring at my cat all the time until he comes over or meows#me whenever someone else stares at me: u gotta stop that i have anxiety#anyway i just crave the SOCIAL interaction of ppl who are not clinically online like i am#i wanna speak to ppl who see the sun#in hopes i may glean just a bit of normalcy from them#im gonna go read copious amounts of fanfic
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I need the world to see my vision of OCD An but the only way I feel I can accurately convey it is with this.
(There’s alt text if the text is hard to read, although idk if it’s formatted well….)
#project sekai#prsk#an shiraishi#shiraishi an#pjsk#akito shinonome#shinonome akito#Don’t tag as ship please !!!!#also Mizuki is mentioned but I’m not gonna tag her#you can tag mizuan tho that’s fine#Anyways. Do you see the vision.#Idk how to explain OCD An like super duper in depth without getting really side tracked. But she has OCD to me and I’ve decided it’s canon.#So. This is my attempt at convincing everyone else bc I think she’s neat.#Maybe this is. Too hyperspecific. And only my fellow ocders will understand. But.#Ask for tw tags if u need them btw!!!!!
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"when you say he's got no eyes do you mean like...like when you say he has no eyes what exactly does that mean-"
idea that Tom LITERALLY has no eyes is cute to me
maybe not..cute, that phrasing is like belittling but the idea is interesting to me.
ALSO susans a guide dog!!! One of those names people have floating around in there heads so it just happens Tom names his dog it over like a guitar..
that said he most definitely wants/has a guitar they sound so pretty
#eddsworld tom#tom ew#ew tom#tom eddsworld#tom!! blind tom!!!#hes..he b...blind hes blind! no eyes he#he literally has no....no#no eyes he doenst ahve eyws....#idk why him literally not having eyes instead of “”“not having eyes”“(their jist black) tickled me so much#uhhhhh what else to say#whoever reads my tags go read yhe last ones instead there's more going on i promise#this is such a nothing detail but Tom's hair is undyed#like usually i draw it brown because something something he doesnt like his dad and got his hair color so dyes it brown blah blah#ik the genetics of a mixed guy getting natural pale blonde hair isnt the most realistic thing but idk hes not real who cares#but yea he doesnt dye it since its not like he can see it#also eduardos there too idk why tbh#got sad painting nails wouldn't bw something tom would actively think of doing so fuck it his bestie who he hates paints his nails#jimboeyelesstom
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How does one even angst cumplane
well it’s simple. you put them in a situation.
#svsss#shen yuan#shang qinghua#i’m kind of tearing my hair out because i can’t describe the ideas i have for them#maybe it’s something like#plant body gone wrong au#SQH or SQQ fuck up the recipe#and then SQQ is just gone#and SQH has to live with that#and it’s extra layered for him#everyone else is morning obviously but#sqh knows that it wasn’t supposed to be the end#they had backups!#but now.:. he’s gone#even the system confirms it#maybe sqh got used to having someone who understood him#got used to having someone who knew what being controlled was like#who knew#at least a little#who he used to be#he spent much longer in this world without sy#but somehow#it’s much lonelier now#maybe sqh never came to terms with some feelings he was having for his cucumber bro#and now he can see them clear as day#but it’s too late#maybe he makes a deal with the system to bring him back#but he has to leave in turn#and now it’s sy’s turn#idk maybe something like that
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definitely do not think about being called tons of masc terms by an f/o. if you’re comfortable with it of course, they make sure before doing so. maybe they start with calling you the petnames/nicknames they’d usually use for you, calling you handsome along with it (‘hey, handsome man’ or a ‘hi, my sweet, handsome boy.’) maybe you like being called pretty boy too, they’d definitely ask first. maybe they focus on the features they adore the most about you.
maybe you ask to be reassured with such words because you feel comforted by it and they don’t mind doing so, but in the end they really do think those sweet things that they mumble in your ear.
#Yeah. Just like the sweet prince post this is targeted towards. me and ofc all the people who loved that post#just to be clear i don’t really know what else to call these terms aside from masc terms…?#i just make it clear at the start so that people who dislike the idea of it can immediately skip the post#i just hatee to think that ive made someone dysphoric or anything by not clearing it up at first yknow?#yknow its 1am my brain is mush sorry </3 i should stop posting before i go to bed ill grammar check in the moorning..#LIKE IDK IF IM COOKING WITH THIS ONE LIKE I SAID. TARGETED TOWARDS ME. YEAH#❥ vels ramblings#self ship#f/o imagines#self shipping#hi to my fellow transmascs too if anyone sees this <3#masc term self ship imagines
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You have to understand. I don't "ship" Harry with the smoker on the balcony, I think whatever they have going on canonically is way funnier and touching than anything anyone could come up with.
There is so much within the dynamic itself. It’s a middle aged man and a younger man who are nothing alike and everything like each other. It’s the smoker being the person that kickstarts Harry’s sexuality journey anew, seeing Harry’s fascination with him and being amused by it because (aside from Harry being probably the first man in a while who’s managed to leave him dumbfounded in a positive way) the smoker *knows* what’s happening in Harry’s mind and as he puts it, it’s beautiful.
Don't get me wrong, the mutual attraction is there. The smoker flirts with Harry every other two lines (girl why the fuck are you flirting with a cop you're insane. I'm obsessed with you) yet makes fun of him in the same breath while Harry is absolutely clueless the whole time because he's too busy staring at his abs. Couldn't come up with anything funnier if I tried.
I love this high drama check, this is exaclty what it feels like to speak to clueless boomers who have no idea what they're talking about. Still, once Harry admits that he might be part of the "underground" as he puts it, the smoker is immediately excited and encourages him to think about it. It's very sweet.
(I know everyone has probably seen this dialogue 100 times by now but I love the phrasing here. literally twink_boutta_pounce.jpeg)
And as a side note I really like this emphaty check in response to Harry's little breakdown after the failed suggestion check the first time you meet him. The smoker like damn he just like me fr.
I don't think more smoker interactions were needed at all or that they would ever talk again post-game but it's interesting to think about what other converations they could have, even just so we could learn a bit more about him. They both have an interest in art. They're both stuck in a place they can't leave if they wanted to and yet find beauty in it, they both have regrets about past relationships. They both find talking with the other a charming experience in a way or another. If I want to be indulgent, they both could benefit from learning about what being gay means for a younger/older generation, especially since they both have such different life experiences with their identities.
It's all fanfic talk, and obviously no cops at pride and so on but their interactions did make me think about community and recognition through the other. A flirt for the sake of a flirt, a “maybe in another lifetime” but this lifetime is good too because they did meet and leave an impression on each other before parting ways. That's *beautiful* too.
#disco elysium#smoker on the balcony#harry du bois#they can boink too if you want them to I support you. honestly good for them#but overall I do think about the greater scope of their dynamic it's just. it's nice.#de meta#don't know where else to put this other observation but it's fun to look at how the smoker is framed from Harry's POV#I can't give specific examples bc it's basically all over the pov narration when talking to him#but it feels very femme fatale in a noir detective novel. it’s very refreshing to see that portrayed as a twink idk. I liked that detail#I mean you could argue that klassje is more of the femme fatale of the game and I’d agree with you#but harry’s bi he can have two of them. as a treat
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SQUID GAME DISCORD SERVER (18+)
There's a lot of discord spaces for the fandom but not that many just for adults! So i made an 18+ Squid game discord server for those wanting an older crowd to discuss the show and meet new friends :)
#trans and queer friendly btw#cool mutuals i better see your ass in here or ELSE !!!!#or else idk we're gonna kiss abt it#or we can kiss in the server too.....#squid game#inhun#sangihun#457#squid game 457#discord#discord server#seong gihun#hwang inho#cho sangwoo#cho hyunju#the recruiter#thanos squid game#had to put my favorites to get all the fans of my favs in here too ^^^#silly blogging
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