#either way im. sad and tired and i will take anything they throw in my direction

[rosenclaws]

Can I request 15 and 34 from the fluff prompt list with either Logan or Charlie, please? Congrats on 600!! 💙💛💙💛💙💛💙💛

Join my 600 Follower celebration!!

15 - “I’m asking because I’ve seen the way you look at me.”

34 - “I shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy.”

a/n: Thank you for requesting!!! Funny enough though they're both fluff prompts this somehow turned angsty dasflk;j im so sorry i do it to myself

He's hiding something. You know he is. Logan has just been different. I mean he was always grumpy and short tempered but this was something else. You thought, or well you had hoped that your time in the void had really bonded you.

You were trash from another universe while he had gotten dragged through hell by Wade. He got you and you got him. You were a failure to your universe so they pruned you. Logan was the worst variant of Wolverine. Something felt nice about having someone else who was the worst with you.

Ever since you landed in Wade's universe you had only gotten closer. Both of you picking up odd jobs for money until you finally landed a steady bakery job. Horribly early hours and lots of hard work but it meant you could be home by lunch. Logan was often out late too. He wouldn't tell you what he was doing but he came back with enough rent money so you didn't question him. You used to eat lunch together. It was a way to make sure the both of you were actually taking care of yourselves. It wasn't anything fancy. Just sandwiches or pasta or something easy.

But for some reason Logan has been avoiding you. Constantly. To the point where he'd leave the room if you were there. It was really starting to bug you. You don't know what's going on with him. You catch him staring sometimes. His eyes are worn and broken. When you try and approach him they harden right back up and he stalks away. It was infuriating.

You finally reached your boiling point when you came home early from work one day. Your back aching and you're dead tired. You lean your forehead against the door, just taking a moment. Then you hear him laugh. You know it's him. He's got this unmistakable snort that he tries to hide but he can't. So he's just avoiding you, no one else. Its you. You're the problem and you don't understand why. In a fit of anger you slam the door open.

"Out! Everyone except for you." You point at Logan. The room clears quickly. Wade opens his mouth to say something but you glare with a ferocity so strong he shuts up.

"Good luck kitty cat!" He whisper yells before hurrying out the door.

"What?" Logan grumbles, his eyes averting to the ground. You scoff and throw your things on the couch.

"What is your problem? You've been avoiding me."

"Why do you fucking care? Not like we were close anyways." He asks with a roll of his eyes.

"Bullshit Logan. I'm asking because I’ve seen the way you look at me. I see you across the room look so sad but the moment I even take a step you're back to this shit." You gesture to his closed off stance.

He's running from you and you demand to know why. He puffs out his chest and stands up. Mumbling about how ridiculous this is and tries to walk away from you.

"Logan! For fucks sake!" You follow him, your anger morphing into confusion as he continues to run.

"Just tell me what I did?!" Your voice breaks as the desperation comes out. You just want him back.

"Nothing!" He growls as he turns back to face you. Slamming his hand against the wall. You jump as he cages you in. He's breathing hard as he stares at you. This is the closest you've been in weeks.

"Nothing. You didn't do anything wrong." His voice is softer, sadder.

"There has to be something Logan. I miss you." He sighs and clenches his fist.

Fuck he thought he could avoid this. That he could get you to run away before he fucked it all up but for some reason you're still here.

"I shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy. I mean just look at me.” Logan thinks so low of himself. He always has. He's a fucked up lost cause. Everyone he cares about dies or gets hurt and its always his fault.

"You make me happy." He confesses.

You make him feel unlike anything else. Like he's not the monster he was. You look at him and he just, smiles. It's weird and strange and a feeling he's not used to. It scares him to his core.

"Man you really are stupid." You say in disbelief.

"I...What?" Logan looks confused but you grab his face and kiss him.

He stumbles back in surprise but ends up taking control quickly. Pushing you against the wall and digging his hands into your hips.

"You make me happy too Logan, so please don't run away from me."

You comb your fingers through his hair as you tug him closer to you. He closes his eye as he leans his forehead on yours. The urge to shut you out is there, listening would be easier but there's a chance at real happiness right in in front of him and he'd be a fool to ignore it.

"Fuck it." He grabs your waist and pulls you tight. Smashing his lips onto yours in a messy kiss.

He can be selfish, just this once.

Just for you.

[captainmera]

Mera, i honestly dont know you put up and manage so many people asking you for stuff-

like today, ive only ever gotten one request (that i realised was a full on commission once i accepted) which i then spent atleast 3 HOURS on. not even to get paid T-T

so i just gotta say on behalf of the Mera crew, thank you so much for putting up with us and our shit.

Thanks I appreciate inte that. 🙇💗

I hope they weren't rude, that you still had fun, and that you learned something from it on how you want to proceed going forward with people requesting things from you.

I dont think people who approach me are shit or anything, it can be a little rude or disrespectful at times, but I boil that down to a few people. It's not the majority. Most people are nice and behave like they would if this had been in person.

I like drawing things, and it helps me fill my day with something.

Sure, It can be a little hurtful when people take advantage of that by just throwing a request/ptompt at me like they're putting paper into a copy machine, without consideration or empathy for me and my time.

Some people come in with the energy of "since you have the time you should do things for me, you're nobody without my attention, and if you don't appease me I'll be upset and think you're a selfish bum." Which is, yknow, unpleasant to put it mildly.

Like, sure, I've put myself here. I post things online, and I like when people are interested in my work - who wouldn't be? I do think it's fun to take prompts. It gives me cause to be social and creative at the same time. But just because I'm willing and open for something doesn't mean it gives people an allowance to be entitled to demand things. They speak as though they have paid me enough with their approach alone.

Yes, I spend between 10min-5hours on pieces depending on if they're doodles, fully rendered pieces, or comics.

I think it is especially a bit entitled to go "I NEED PART TWO GIMME!!!!!!" Right after something like a comic, as though I didn't just finish something that took a while to make. It's not very empathetic.

But I don't take it to heart. People show who they are in their actions. I'm within my right to ignore, block, or politely decline. It doesn't serve me to sulk or get sad over people getting mad, calling me names, or get too pushy about what I should or shouldn't draw.

I understand its excitement, but please behave, yknow? You're not a toddler at the toy isle who hasn't developed a temperament resistance yet. Some people, I think, have an issue with instant gratification.

Have some respect in how you treat and speak with people online. The way you treat others reflects who you are.

If you wouldn't yell at someone irl to make you something, don't do it here either. I promise it doesn't reflect well on you, and I don't care that this is online and we are time zones apart; I will judge you. As will others.

You don't treat people like that.

And I won't let anyone treat me like that either. I've had enough of that in my life, and I'm tired of people calling me gullible and dumb for being polite and kind or giving people a benefit of doubt.

What I have is self-respect. It has taken me a lifetime to build it up, and I still wobble a little on whatever or not I can defend myself sometimes when people are mean. But nowadays, I can more confidently say, "You don't get to treat me like that. It hurts, and it is mean."

If you are the sort to take advantage of someone who is willing to do things for the fun of it, and who don't mind the effort it takes sometimes: then you are most unwelcome here and I host no guilt in removing you however I see fit.

But, like I said, the majority of people who approach me are friendly and level-headed, even when they're awkward or excited.

There is a difference between; "I need X so give me X!! Raarghargh Im going to die!!!" And "aaaa! I really enjoyed Z, if you have the time, I'd love to see more of Z!"

You know? <:T

Just food for thought I suppose.

I hope, though, that you keep doing right by yourself and don't let others discourage you.

[lutzgettogether]

i haven’t felt motivated to do anything lately and it’s really sad. i don’t want to walk or write or paint. i haven’t even been doing my nails. i love doing my nails. i love doing all those things

but i don’t want to. i can’t do them good right now . im happy and im also really sad , maybe overwhelmed is more accurate? i’m really overwhelmed and anxious and it makes me freeze. i’m in rigor mortis

except i’m too warm. i’m too warm in rigor mortis and it’s making me itch and sweat i’ve got to move but i can’t because that’s the whole thing about it.

i need to get rid of my car i need to quit my job i need to find a new job i need to practice the route i need to clean my room i need to do the dishes. again & again. then again. my laundry too. again. always with the fucking laundry and the dishes the dishes that aren’t even mine but i can’t let them sit there because it bothers me. they’re in my way and im claustrophobic. i want to throw this stupid fuckign bean bag out the window. or stab it the couch too. one day i’m going to drag it down the stairs and set it on fire

i need someone else but i don’t want anyone new i need food . better food im really tired cc i need to stop drinking so much and i started vaping again this week. i haven’t bought one of those since i was 18 . but i bought one this week and its guava (my favorite) and its green too (also my favorite) i like it and im not going to stop. i smoked a lot of weed this weekend but im not doing that anymore. i said im not and im not. i said i would this weekend and that was it and that is it. but i have been taking far too many dramamine. not a lot but , too many. more than one should. and i probably won’t stop that either.

i get the urge to cry a lot but usually i can’t. i tell people i did but im lying. i should have but i didn’t but i tell them i did because really, i should have. but, i don’t. this morning i did. on Tuesday mornings i do more often than not and every time its about one of my parents. i can talk about anyone else with more indifference than is probably normal but i cant talk about them without crying.

more or less , that’s about an update

and yeah i am drinking right now too , it’s a Tuesday.

[foxstens]

ughhhhhh 

i don’t wanna visit my grandparents for christms i don’t wanna visit my grandparents for christmas I DO NOT WANT TO VISIT MY GRANDPARENTS FOR CHRISTMAS

i don’t... hate my grandparents. i think. they’ve done a lot of not so good things that affect us to this day but they’re still trying their best probably. but god damn do i hate being there

going there involves a three-hour ride on a bus with other people and for the past two years every time we went, every single time, i ended up feeling nauseous both on the way there and on the way back. i don’t have motion sickness or anything, i used to have absolutely no issues with long rides but it’s always a dirty smelly uncomfortable bus and it’s always either too cold or too hot and there’s people and voices and my back hurts and my neck hurts and the closer we get to the city the more i feel like i could throw up any minute because i fucking hate that city with the grey ass buildings and loud ass traffic and scowly ass people I HATE IT I HATE I HATE IT

and i’ve told both my grandparents and my mom about this, not in so many words just mostly the nausea and being uncomfortable part. 

and im just. i don’t see the point. my grandparents are always sad and miserable and they don’t magically become happy when we visit them and we’re trying to hard to stay relatively positive or at least neutral in our day to day lives so we don’t become overwhelmed by all the negativity everywhere

and visiting them doesn’t help us in any way, it just makes us feel terrible when we see how not fine they are, and we just bring back some food a lot of which we don’t even eat because we just don’t eat like that anymore and by the time we come back we’re just exhausted and riled up and sometimes we have to go to work the next day and then it takes us a week to bounce back

but it doesn’t matter. gotta do it anyway

i don’t even know what to do anymore. like i woke up a few hours ago and i haven’t had breakfast yet despite how hungry i feel and i had all these plans for things to do today and then my grandma called a few mins ago and suddenly i have no appetite nor energy to do things. i don’t even feel like reading playing something or listening to music i just wanna sleep

but i can’t bc we might get a package today and gotta pay for it

and today is friday, my first day off in the week, it’s usually the day when i feel most tired but since its friday stuff is actually open so it’s when i do things, and then on saturday i just do absolutely nothing to try and recover some energy to prepare for the next week

this week wasn’t so bad overall, it was just kind of average, but yesterday was fucking horrible terrible really fucking bad one of the worst days ive had recently, it made me borderline hate my workplace for the first time ever. so i guess no wonder i feel like this

sigh

[mae-i-scribble]

it is very late and i am more than tired but i want to type out this thought before it leaves me, orv is amazing in how it develops kdj’s sacrifices across the story. major orv spoilers to come obviously, plus discussion of topics like suicidal tendencies/ideation

Okay so in the beginning kdj’s life ending sacrifices are less a sacrifice to him and more a necessary step. There’s no risk in them- he knows he’ll come back, it’s just the people around him who don’t know so. Then you get to the dark castle arc, where his death is set in stone, and for the first time his sacrifice has risk. obviously kdj is confident that out of him or yjh, He’ll be the one to make it through, but he has no way to be sure. Plus his negotiations nearly fail, if he were not the person he was, kdj would have died permanently. In these first instances, there’s a wide discrepancy i think of how kdj’s actions are perceived by the company vs what his intentions are. kdj isn’t thinking explicitly of how little his life is worth or anything along the lines of guilt, he’s just doing what needs to be done. Sure, it’s worrying as hell that he can throw away his life without much more than a :// “ouch thank god 4th wall is blocking off all my repressed trauma this would suck otherwise. im built different though,” but it isn’t until dark castle that the actions start to have weight put into them from kdj’s side. The dark castle sacrifice isn’t about what needed to be done, it’s about kdj and co being backed into a corner by olympus and kdj stepping up to ensure that the person most likely to survive takes the blow. kdj never wanted to be in this position, he’s furious and sad and consciously acknowledging just how much the people he’s met along the way mean to him (a story more wonderful than ways of survival)

For me though, the first time kdj’s intentions match the company’s perception of the situation is what happens with surya/the demon realm. He sees the inevitable calamity, and his companions ready to die alongside him to try and bring it down, and decides he can’t bear to watch that happen. He doesn’t have a plan unless you count a desperate gamble/plea to sp as a plan, he just knows that he’s going to make sure his companions are safe before doing anything he can to stop the calamity. Even more than the dark castle, this is a sacrifice driven by kdj’s desire to protect his loved ones at all costs, and if his life was worth so little to him in the logical calculations, of course it’ll be collateral in his emotionally based ones.

The war between good and evil is such a huge turning point for kdj. It’s the same situation, essentially, as what happened with surya; a calamity descending upon them, with no plan to stop it after all countermeasures fell apart, but wanting to protect his friends. But for the first time, kdj is able to express his desire to *live,* to be saved in turn. I don’t think this is kdj wanting to live after not wanting to do so before- in every one of his sacrifices it was never about him wanting to die, it was either logical or when there was literally no other way out of it. More than anything, kdj is a character defined by his desire to live, a person who clung onto the first thing he could to try and live on, who found inspiration in a character who pushed forward in the face of the most horrific tragedies. (not that he doesn’t have suicidal thoughts/ideation, but kdj is a person who thinks about suicide and pushes forward because he doesn’t want to die, he just doesn’t want to be hurting). Instead, kdj asking to be saved is about him accepting what his companions asked of him, to stop sacrificing himself while they watch in horror. He’s letting his “selfish” desire to live show through his unselfish desire to protect his loved ones, he trusts them enough to do so.

When kdj nearly becomes an outer god echoes this same sentiment, only this time his desire to protect the forgotten stories is the thing he is throwing himself away to protect, while everything in him wants to return to his companions, enough to risk this contract by being near them, he cannot abandon these stories, as a person who loves stories with all his heart. Also like, if sp wasn’t so dead set on being a bitch about this via his personal issues it’d be different but nooooo. Anyways kdj again wants to be saved, he doesn’t want to lose himself, he just puts his desire to save the forgotten stories above that.

Kdj’s sacrifice in the final scenario is a culmination of all of this. He’s playing the part people know him for while prioritizing everyone’s survival, this time including his own. This “sacrifice” is less of a sacrifice and more in tune with his first deaths, a step he knows he can come back from (only with his companions understanding, with their help, showing his unwavering faith in them), only this time its far less logical and far more emotionally charged.

Now onto the train, and the 49/51 split. Where yet again kdj is backed into a corner. He must become the oldest dream or else the entire world will end and he will lose everything regardless. This is the time where kdj lets his “selfishness” win out the most, by sending away an avatar with his memories. Only, his love for his companions, the same love that has fueled so many of his choices/sacrifices, is enough that he cannot give it all in a 50/50 split- an act he defines as selfish while we describe as tragic.

Throughout all the sacrifices kdj makes in the novel, we can follow his progression as his perspective/situation changes, and just how much his companions change him. While the fandom loves to joke about kdj being a self-sacrificial bastard (myself very much included) past the first 100 chapters none of his deaths were planned, only 2 of his sacrifices were made more on logic rather than emotion, and the dark castle one barely counts for that. ;-; im holding him in my little hands i wish i could voice my thoughts better but thats all i got

[one-strugling-bean]

Random Thoughts on HTTYD RttE S2 (Ep1-7)

(This one is a lot bigger so gonna divide it by episodes)

Ep1 - why do the twins get so many pets

Snotlout's sadness over not being able to train his dad, that was funny

"What did he do?" "He's Snotlout's dad" "Enough said" - there is more than one way to interpret this and i think im gonna take the protective! Astrid one

Ep2&3- Okay, im gonna make a wild guess and start assuming this show is gonna be hurting Astrid a lot

How strong is Toothless?? He's just able to carry a Mostrous Nightmare like that

Hm, gotta say I'm disappointed Heather betrayed them already - like, with Dagur being her brother and all, one immediately expects a betrayal to happen eventually, but this was really fast and too sudden I'd say

Im gonna make another guess before i move on with the episode, and that is Heather is either double-crossing Dagur or she'll regret going on to his side and goes back to helping the Riders

Also, not sure how to feel about Ryker yet - he seems too competent and too much of a real threat for this show. Then again the show does seem to building itself up to a more serious plot

Ruffnut pickpocketed the guard omg yessssssssss

Ep4 - aww, it's nice to see the twins caring about eachother

Aaaand Ruffnut got really pissed at Snotlout for his stunt, wow

Fishlegs is such a cute nerd ahhh

Omg Snotlout's been bitten so much, Ruff has 0 chill

I swear this scene on the cliff with the twins is just, so weird. Its supposed to be kinda emotional but its so so silly and bizarre i can't pay total attention to the actual emotional part - guess that's just the twins for you

Snolout should've died like, 3 hours ago pretty sure

He caught a wolf in that state???

This episode was so so weird but so so enjoyable

Ep5 - Heyy it's Spitelout time - cant wait

First few lines of the two 'louts interacting and they're already giving me Draco&Lucius vibes

"Hope you're at least smart enough to figure that one out" - eh excuse me, le what. He just called his son stupid in front of all his friends and threatened him at the same time. Okay yeah, im starting to understand why no one likes this guy

God that axe is so getting destroyed

Fishlegs and Ruffnut got married, poor Fishlegs

Meatlug!! Ruff, don't throw the lady out!

Astrid is once again so so done with Snotlout - can't blame her honestly, the guy has butter fingers

Okay, that beach scene went a whole lot better than what many made me expect, but then again, it seems Hiccup, Astrid and Snotlout were expecting worse too

The scene was scary until Spitelout talked - the music, the dark of the night, the clear fear of Snotlout confronting his dad and the apprehension in both Hiccup and Astrid's faces

Not as afraid of the man anymore, but still not a fan - also he's voiced by David Tennant so he's gotta get a pass

"We're the model of a modern viking family" this made me laugh a lot, my humor might be broken i know

Ep6 - Hookster? That's a new one. Another extremely original nickname to add to the list of Hookfang's nicknames given by Snotlout, right next to Hooky and Fangster

"He's really become a tyrant, huh?" "Power'll do that to ya" Twins, don't ever change

Aw Barf&Belch are gratefuuuul, that's cute, i rarely see anything about them anywhere, this is nice to watch

"Ah, no Toothless, don't laugh! You're better than that!" Ha poor Hiccup

Nooo don't ditch the double-headed baby, he's gonna get caught by hunters!!

Hiccup is just giving me tired dad vibes this ep and I'm loving it

Ahhh Barf&Belch are sho cute, how come I've never noticed this??

"I guess we're gonna have to put you in some real danger" yeahhhhh don't ever ask that of the Thorston twins

The look of pure happiness and giddy excitement on Tuff's face as they saw the tree trunks roll down towards Hiccup is everything

What is "Bjorn Boars"

"I can only think of one man that souless" Of course it's fucking Snotlout, how did i knowww

"WHAT. IS. WRONG WITH YOU??"

Okay, what did the twins do to make Snotlout go along with this, i gotta know

"Unfortunately, we weren't expecting Thor's mighty hammer to meet Snotlout's paper jaw" I swear this kid delivers the best one liners

I love how the ending is just mass destruction of the ship

"Will someone tell this lunatic it's over?!" Hiccup deserves so many breaks

Ep7 - "Heather won't be a problem, okay?" Hmmmm i had wondered how Astrid had been able to escape so easily from Heather on ep3 without us seeing their fight - im guessing Heather revealed to Astrid that she's playing double spy

Aw cute Thorston sandwich, but damn does Snotlout look annoyed. Good for him

Yeahhhh i saw that alliance coming

"You can't just run off on your own. I rely on you, Astrid" Oof, that hurt

"Dagur was right, you don't look like much" Astrid was right, you look like a psycho" "Not exactly the compliment I would've led with" These lines are fun

Ha, sassy, taunting Hiccup is fun Hiccup

"I saw it! You did that on purpose!" Uhm, excuse me sir, how did you see that? Your back was turned!

So, Ryker is indeed smart. Like, he's intelligent and an actual threat. Me likey the high-ing of stakes

"Maybe if you didn't move and kept your mouth shut!" Fishlegs sassying the others brings me endless joy

"Feels like they're going left. No, right. Left. Which one's which??" Mood. That's me everytime someone asks where's left and right

"Heather's not evil? There goes that dream" What does that mean? Im confused

Aw, Fishlegs, you're nice

Yeah, i hope she knows what she's doing too Hiccup

This is getting too long, so gonna stop this here

Im really excited to see where this is going now, and apparently people like to read my dumb commentary so the 2nd part of season 2 should be coming soon

[dracowars]

Heyy can you write with harry? Where harry and reader are dating and when Harry and reader are alone harry is being all needy clingy touchy touchy kisses hugs cuddles all cute but reader is a bit uncomfortable because she is shy. After a few attempts of trying to warm her up(this part might be a bit smutty if you write but if you dont it is totally okay) harry  gives her space and he is heartbroken bc she is not comfortable with him yet? And then they make up this time she pushes herself out of her comfort zone. Im sorry this is so specific but i thought it would be cute. And harry is so underrated he deserves more imagines. I would be so happy if you can write this!! Love you😻

clingy | harry potter

pairing: harry x gryffindor!reader

word count: 907

summary: where y/n feels uncomfortable around harry

a/n: sorry i took so long for this :(

warnings: slight angst

universe: harry potter

“Hi, sweetheart. How was your day today?”, he ask you happily after throwing himself next to you onto the red sofa in the Gryffindor common room, throwing his backpack on the floor and almost immediately wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer. Pressing a gentle kiss against your temple, he exhaustedly leans back into the soft material and watches you closing the book you have just been absorbed in, before you stare into the warm fire in front of you.

“It was okay”, you smile at him gently and he carefully pulls you even closer, grabbing your hand to intertwine it with his own. Uncertainly, you look around the room to see if anyone is watching the both of you when Harry suddenly pulls you into a tender embrace that you did not expect at all.

“H-Harry!”, you exhale in shock and quickly escape his arms again, your face turning red while you lower your head to hide behind your hair. You have always had your problems with physical contact, but it is even worse when everyone around you could see you any time. You love Harry with all your heart and yet you still feel uncomfortable when he touches you, even after several months of dating him.

“I am sorry”, he finally clears his throat, feeling just as uncomfortable as you right now. He perfectly knows how insecure and shy you still are around him, which is why he would never push you to anything you do not want, and yet he has made you feel uncomfortable again, even though he just wants you to feel safe and comfortable around him. Countless times he already tried to warm you up to him, but always without any success which causes him to slowly start doubting himself, blaming himself for something that he has no control over.

“I should not have done that, I am sorry”, he continues after you did still not respond, but because of the rueful undertone in his voice, you look up and look him straight in the eyes, which seem to shimmer now. As soon as your eyes meet, however, he forces a smile onto his lips, before sighing out loud and letting go of your hand, which he was still holding in his tightly.

“Maybe it is best if I give you more space from now on”, he states, talking to himself rather than to you, but before you can even think of what to answer, he already stands up and disappears into the boys’ dormitories.

Furious at yourself for letting Harry blame himself for your own aversion to physical contact, tears form in your eyes. If only you could jump over your own shadow for once; even if it is not for yourself, at least for him. You do not want to be responsible for making him feel bad when all you ever wanted is for him to be happy. Because he deserves it. More than anyone else.

Taking in a heavy breath, you quickly collect your books and stow them in your bag, before going to your own dorm room to think. That night you find it incredibly difficult to close your eyes even the tiniest bit and the next morning you feel like you have not slept at all. Although you are extremely tired and exhausted, the adrenaline suddenly rushes through your body as you remember what you have been thinking about all night long.

Since you woke up this early anyway, you decide to go down to the common room already and wait there for Harry so you can tell him all the things you have been thinking about all night. You have considered every single word very carefully and are now ready to tell him all of this.

You do not have to wait long for him, because just a few minutes later you hear dragging footsteps coming down the stairs and when you turn around, you discover your boyfriend with a very exhausted expression on his face. He does not seem to have slept well last night either.

When he spots you, he freezes for a moment and you just look at each other without saying a word. You then slowly take the first step and come up to him, taking a quick look behind him to make sure that Ron does not appear out of nowhere all of a sudden, and then completely devote your concentration to him.

As he stand in front of you, looking at you with such sadness in his heartbroken eyes, you can’t get a single word out. Everything that you memorized overnight is suddenly gone. From this moment on you do not know what to say anymore and Harry seems to feel the exact same way, which is why you decide to do the only thing possible that can still express your thoughts and feelings without any words.

You hug him.

As firm but gentle as possible, you wrap your arms around him. You feel how his whole body tenses in surprise, but it does not take long before he relaxes and returns the hug, just as firmly and full of affection as yours.

“I do not need any space from you, Harry. I only need you by my side”, you confess to him and feel his lips on yours in a loving kiss in the next moment that reveals all his feelings to you as well.

[fa-headhoncho]

Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 3

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt/Background: After turning yourself in to the government following the events of CA:TWS, they lock you up for the crimes you committed during your time at Hydra. Spending years there until Captain America got you on parole during the blip to help fight Thanos. Now, after doing community service acts and helping the broken society, when they give the new Captain America the shield, you’re thrown back into a life you didn’t want.

Word Count: 2058

Reader: Female

Warning: parole officers? canon level violence, john walker

Author’s Note: im being lazy and not writing rn but i have a stock pile of fics so get ready for shitty posts :p

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

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Once you get onto the plane, you don’t hold back your emotions. The fight was enough but how Walker talked to Sam and Bucky on the car ride over sent you over the edge. You had to admit, the kid had good intentions but there was something about him that was off.

You don’t even wait for his private jet to lift off before turning to him and pinning him against the nearest wall. Your forearm was laying across his chest while the other was hovering over the knife clipped onto your hip. His managers and friend stand up, rushing to try to pry you off of him but he raises a hand to stop them. “Who the hell do you think you fucking are, huh?”

“Captain America.” He simply responds, looking at down you with a cocky smile. You let out a scoff, the audacity of this man. “Look, I didn’t know that you knew them.”

“Yes, you did.” You exclaim while your forearm digs into his chest, “You read my parole reports, it shows where I spend my time and who I talk to, Bucky and Sam being the main two who I interact with. They’re my friends and you’re using me as a pawn. Steve wouldn’t have done that, Captain America wouldn’t have done that.”

“You talk about looking up to him but you’re nothing like him. You throw around ‘brother’ like it means nothing, you have no idea what those two have gone through with Steve. You hold the shield like it’s a toy and using it to get what you want.” Your voice is menacing low and you knew if you still had your parole officer that he would be scolding you for it.

“Captain America stood up for the little guys but you’re just using it as a title, abusing it to act like the hero you tried to be before. You’re a fucking joke.” You release him and walk away. The air in the room felt tense as you plop down on the chair closest to the exit, furthest away from his management team who didn’t know what just happened.

“If you think I’m going to stand by your side after how you just treated my friends, you’re dead fucking wrong.” You shake your head and lean forward in your seat.

He lets out a chuckle, taking a step towards you with his hands fisted by his side. “You’re going to help me if I say you are. I say the words and you’re locked back in the goddamn cell where you belong. Remember who brought you here in the first place.”

“Hey, John, calm down.” Hoskins finally buds in. Walker scoffs and shakes his head, following him to join the rest of their team.

You shift your eyes to the floor, knowing he’s right. The power the government is giving their new Captain is a desperate attempt to give hope to those after the Blip. It’s going straight to his head and you knew it was going to get worse in the long run.

The rest of the flight is awkward. The tension never settling even if Walker acts like nothing just happened. Hoskins was keeping a close eye on you like you were going to bounce back to your Hydra days and take out everyone on the plane. To be fair, you wanted to but you weren’t stupid and you didn’t want to give him another reason to send you back.

Once the plane touches down, you’re out the door. The group was barely out of the seats before they could see you disappear into the airport. Haling a cab and taking it back to the apartment they were renting for you, changing out of your gear and plopping down onto the bed.

The events of the day finally collapse down onto you. This situation was going to be a lot harder than you originally thought. Walker explained it as just one mission to see where the Flag Smashers were taking the stolen vaccines and you would be on your way. “Free at last” to use his words but now you were roped in for the long haul.

You couldn’t stop thinking about the look of betrayal on Bucky’s face either. He had confided in you about how he felt about the new Captain and how lost he felt. If Steve wasn’t right about Sam then what the hell was wrong with Bucky?

Before you realize it, tears were streaming down your cheeks. You knew it was too early to try to reach out to them so you decide to give them time. They were still processing their interactions with the new Captain and the new information about the Flag Smashers being super-soldiers.

If you were going to have to work with Walker, you were going to have to figure out a plan. Racking your brain for ideas, one comes to mind that would be risky. It would be worth it, though. Staring up at the ceiling, you start strategizing a way you could pull this off. You were one of Hydra’s best agents so hopefully, this would be easy. After going against your original thought and shooting Sam a quick text, you slowly drift off asleep.

=====

Your leg bounces under the table as you stare at the clock above the door. It was half-past seven and the breakfast rush was winding down. The diner was slowly emptying, leaving a hand full of tables with families and friends enjoying their meal. The waitress comes up to your booth, standing there until you notice her.

“Ready to order yet, hun’?” The nice older lady questions, breaking your gaze from the entrance to her. You shake your head no before turning back to the door. She gives you a sad smile before looking down at her watch, “It’s been almost twenty minutes, sweetie, are you sure your friends are still coming?”

You nod quickly, no matter what kind of circumstances the two soldiers would never stand you up. Their hearts were too kind for that. “I was just a bit early, I’m kind of nervous.” You shyly admit, sending her a smile.

“Well, I’m bringing you something to eat at least,” She commands, you open your mouth to reject but she cuts you off, “on the house.” She gives you a firm look before walking off to the back.

Right as she disappears into the kitchen, the bell of the diner dings. Your head snaps to it and you can’t help the large smile that appears on your face at the sight of the duo walking in. The two immediately see you since you placed yourself right near the door.

Sam sends you back a smile while Bucky just eyes you down. You were wearing a simple sweater and pants while they were in their usual civilian gear, a ballcap and jacket. You couldn’t help but ogle at how good Bucky looked in the blue Hently you two bought when he first came to Brooklyn.

They slip into the booth, their broad figures barely fitting on the small seat. Sam elbows Bucky as he tries to get comfortable but he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“Morning.” You try to make conversation. “How was the rest of your day yesterday?”

“He got arrested.” Sam bluntly says making your jaw drop. “He missed his check-in with the shrink.”

“I told you not to tell her.” Bucky makes out through clenched teeth, he just shrugs in response. You go to scold him but he holds a steady hand out, “You can yell at me all you want later, what do you want? We don’t have much time.” Your heart drops with how aggressive he’s being towards you.

“I want to help you.” You announce, ignoring Bucky’s eye roll as he remembers who you’re working with. He goes to tell you off just like he told Walker but you start rambling before he could utter a word, “I know it’s not the ideal situation but Walker wants me on his team. If I could earn his trust and figure out what their plans are, I can report back to you two.”

“And how do we not know this is a setup?” Sam points out, leaning forward on the table as Bucky looks around the diner for any sign of said Captain America, “They could be listening right now, they still have you under lock and key.”

You gleam at the mention of that, realizing that you haven’t told them the good news. “Not anymore.” You extend your leg out from under the table for Bucky to see your naked ankle. “Walker pulled some strings to get me off my parole earlier.”

A look of realization comes across Sam’s face once he pieces everything together. He knew how mad you were about the new Captain America, how you helped him and Bucky against the Smashers instead of the other two, and how you didn’t know anything about Bucky getting arrested made sense.

“So, you made a deal with the devil.” Bucky snarkily questions, a look of disappointment on his face.

You let out a scoff at his words, “I did what I had to do, James. Not all of us were lucky enough to get pardoned.” You spit back, tired of how he was acting. “He tricked me, told me it was just one simple favor to repay him. Now, he wants me to be a part of his team to take down the Flag Smashers. Told me if I didn’t help that he would send me back to jail and it would reset everything I had accomplished in the last five years.”

Bucky’s eyes soften at your confession, hanging his head in embarrassment at his assumptions. The waitress comes up and sets the small plate of food down in front of you, giving an awkward smile to the boys before walking off.

You let out a sigh, feeling bad for yelling at him. He was being a dick but that didn’t mean you had to be one back to him. He was going through a lot and this was the last thing he needed.

Grabbing the fork, you stare down at the pancakes. “You don’t have to forgive me or anything but just understand where I’m coming from, please.”

They share a look as they silently communicate. Bucky narrows his eyes and Sam tilts his head at him. You look between them as you try to figure out what’s going on.

“I can’t read your mind, cyborg. Use your words.” Sam finally spits out then elbows him one more time, “Will you please scoot over? I’m suffocating over here!”

Bucky sighs and rolls his eyes at his friend. He gets up out of the booth and slips in next to you, using his larger form to push you closer to the window. Your eyes widen in surprise as he slings his arm to rest behind your head. He then takes the extra fork and stabs it into your hashbrowns.

Sam lets out an awe as he watches the two of you eat from your plate, “Don’t you two look so cute.”

“Shut up, Sam.” You both demand at the same time. He raises his hands up in defense, leaning back in the booth with a smug smile on his face. The two of you easily fall into conversation, catching up on things and giggling at the little jokes he was making. Suddenly, after a few moments of silence as the two of you enjoy the meal, you remember what Sam mentioned earlier.

Bucky lets out a little yelp when you send a swift smack to the back of his head, making the hashbrowns he was about to eat fall off his fork. “What the hell was that for?”

“For getting arrested, are you kidding me, James? Do you know what could’ve happened to you? I swear to God, James Buchanan Barnes, you will be the death of me—“ You continue to scold while Sam lets out a booming laugh. Mad at him for being so careless, you poke and prod at his chest but stop when you notice the expression on his face. Your heart can’t handle the way he pulls out his puppy dog eyes and his pouted lip. “Oh, don’t pull that shit with me.”

_____

untitled tfawts fic: @crowleysqueenofhell @mischiefmanaged71 @thewinterrbucky @lizajane3 @ahahafudge @spookycereal-s @a-girl-who-loves-disney @kittengirl998 @ sebby-staan

[weasleypogues]

fight club (p.h.)

request: hii can i request smth angsty with pope ? maybe it could end well for both the reader and him but overall it’s just filled with angst and slow burn and tension ? ty xx

ofc lovieee!!! loving this pope recognition finally!! :)

this will be a two part becuause this was longer than i expected!!! part 2 here!!!

masterlist.

you literally felt like you could not sit still. anger was pulsating through your veins as you paced back and forth on the porch of the chateau. you also felt the piercing eyes of pope follow you back and forth as you struggled to form a cohesive sentence.

“it’s just- ugh! she can’t get away with this! she thinks because she’s a kook that i’ll be begging for her forigveness and shit like i’m a starving peasant just to save my reputation! i’m a fucking pogue, i don’t have a reputation to uphold!” you spat as your hands clenched together so hard you swear you were going to accidentally draw blood from your palms.

vanessa was a kook that you never had problems with when you were kids because you two had a friendship that was secretive and playful because of opposing groups. it wasn’t until middle school was when she ditched you, similar to kie and sarah’s relationship. thankfully for them, they sorted it out. however, vanessa was bitter and bitchy every chance she could get. 

“yes (y/n)! keep it fiesty! i wanna see you win a good cat fight.” jj egged you on.

“you’re gonna make yourself go crazy if you don’t just sit down.” pope spoke in a sterner tone than you would have expected. but as the rage filled you from vanessa, pope’s tone was not helping. you felt a tinge of hurt in your chest as he expressed his clear stress and annoyance with you. but you weren’t going to let it go that easily; not in this state.

“i’m fine just the way i am, thanks.” you responded just as passive-aggressively as he did. you literally had to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes so you wouldn’t egg this on, because the last thing you needed was for pope of all people to be on your bad side. 

you heard him scoff from behind you and his footsteps faded away. you spun around so quickly, maybe even too quickly to play it cool, to just see a flash of him as he turned the corner. your eyes flashed to john b, kie, and jj who had expressions that were just as shocked as your own.

“what’s his problem?” you asked, expecting an answer real quick before you had to go investigate it yourself. your teeth grinded against each other and you felt your face and ears go hot. 

“he probably just doesn’t think this is worth it (y/n/n).” kiara stated, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and giving you a look that said don’t let it get to you. kiara shared a quick glance with john b and jj, which definitely did not go unnoticed by you.

“w-what was that? that little look you three shared?” you asked pointing your finger at them interchangeably and confused but angrily eager to find out. you raised your eyebrows, expecting another speedy answer as you finally turned towards jj who held his hands up in defense and bit his tongue. 

“cut pope some slack. you’ve been looking for trouble lately (y/n), it’s been keeping him on edge each time.” john b responded and slapped his hands on this thighs before getting up off the couch. you felt your cheeks get a little hot and your jaw drop slightly.

pope was trying to be protective of you. this was not a secret that you and pope were always flirty with each other but neither of you ever acted on it. both keeping the same sad mindset, if they wanted to, they would. everytime you talked about this with kiara and sarah at a girls’ night, they playfully judged you for thinking like that and tried to encourage you to just go for it. 

you took a deep inhale and relaxed your shoulders and face, feeling the tension ease up on your body. “she’s asking for it...look i don’t want to make pope upset or anything but vanessa can’t keep pulling this shit. she’s asking for her teeth to get knocked in.” you huffed out as you grabbed your backpack and phone to hop on your bike and head home. 

--

your grabbed your phone and backpack as you headed back outside to your bike. you didn’t even bother to text the rest of the group about catching a ride to tonights kegger because you were just a little fired up from earlier. they were your friends and if this were any other case, they would be backing you up. why is this time any different?

you’re recalling yourself getting ready. stud earrings because she can grab hold of hoops. your hair in two braids because there was less surface area for her to snatch onto. sneakers to make a run for it in case shit gets bad. 

what the rest of them don’t understand is that not only was vanessa mean, spoiled, and made your existence on the obx difficult, was that you had a bumpy past with her. more than just losing a friend. she made up a rumor based on fake ideas that she overheard her parents talking about. when she would run into you on the street with her other kook friends at the ripe age of 13, she would be a bystander as they spat insults your way. that always caused a strain in your friendship. 

until one day, she started the picking on first. she judged you on your family’s financial situation and said quote-by-quote “i heard her mom cheats on her dad with all of her little pogue friend’s dads. who knows, they could actually be related and we wouldn’t know. she’s a whore and i’m sure she’ll end up just like her.” tears still brim your eyes at that memory. you wouldn’t dare tell the rest of the pogues, whether it was out of embarassment or fear. it was best for them and their own minds that it was never brought up again. since then, it seems like constant torture from her. 

you pulled up on the beach and hopped off your bike as your tires were definitely not made for the sand. you laid it on a tree and made a b-line to the keg that john b was basically guarding. “thought we’d hear from you.” you heard kiara state as she sat on the sand and glanced up at you, squinting her eyes to keep the remaining sun from basically burning them.

“yeah well, just got a lot on my mind.” you responded. you didn’t want to be so abrupt with them but your blood was basically boiling with the idea of vanessa. john b stared between you and kiara and handed you a full red solo cup which you gladly took, taking a gulp.

“soooo...” jj started, throwing an arm around your shoulder, “cat fight tonight?” you felt a chuckle rise out of you as you playfully rolled your eyes.

“if you’re lucky enough, maybe you’ll get front row.” you joked, sending a smirk jj’s way and taking another gulp. you felt a presence behind you and turned to be faced with pope. his facial expression had clearly changed from what you saw from him last time. he looked almost guilty and concerned rather than aggravated. 

“come to snap at me again?” you said, turning towards the horizon on the water. looking into his eyes right now was difficult. maybe because it was the idea that you knew some part of you wanted to snap at him for him snapping at you earlier but you couldn’t make another enemy. not tonight. 

“about that...can i actually talk to you for a minute?” pope muttered, instincitvely cracking his knuckles, clearly scared to tread on water. you felt your shoulders relax and your facial muscles follow suit. placing your drink and backpack on the ground you followed a few paces behind him, closer to the sand where the tide was rolling in. although he didn’t stop, he wanted this to be a walk and talk situation. 

you strolled beside him, both of your hands slightly brushing against each other every now and then. while neither of you took initiative to grab the others’ hand, neither of you pulled your hands out of that pathway either. that connection and touch felt nice. it was reassuring that his snappiness, along with your own, was out of love and protection of each other. 

“you won’t be happy with what i’m about to say...” pope started, basically holding his breath.

“so why say it, pope? i know it sounds bad to say outloud but, why not just let me fight her? she has made my existence so unbearably difficult on this island and has slandered my name and countless others of those i love too much and for too long. i’m sick of being a pushover and letting her get away with it because of mommy and daddy’s money. im done!” you blurted out, letting more info out than you expected. “why does it bother you so much? if this was topper and john b going at it, or rafe and jj? which keep in mind, both have actually happened, i’m sure you would be more hesitant to stop them.”

your strolling came to a sudden halt as pope took a step directly in front of you, face to face. he looked longingly into your eyes, somewhat darting back and forth between your own eyes to search for an answer to his questions or even an answer to yours. 

“(y/n)! i can’t see you get hurt. i know how badly you want to do this and how much it means to you but in the end, what is it going to get you? an even worse reputation among kooks, bloody nose, and a black eye? is it worth it?” pope rambled drasticaly. 

“it is worth it! and i’m so thankful that you care about me and my well being and everything in between but this is something that i have to do. once and for all. i’m not putting myself and everyone i love through this torture anymore. and if that means beating the shit out of her and getting a bloody lip and battered up on the way, than so be it!” you responded, using your hands quite animatedly throughout the performance. the waves seemed like the loudest thing on earth as you awaited an answer from pope. he looked defeated and anxious, knowing that there was no getting through to you for this. 

“i-” pope started before cutting himself off, looking deafeated yet again. he ran his hands over his face in frustration and as he let his eyes shine over the tips of his fingers, they locked with yours. you felt stuck in place and in a trance for a split second before you felt a pair of hands on your waist and soon enough, you were lip locked with pope. 

instantly you pulled away, your heart feeling full and your legs feeling limp. your hands made their way to his jawline, slightly caressing his cheeks and neck as you pulled him back into the kiss, elongating it. 

he pulled away, shocked yet proud with himself. you could not help the small smile that made it’s way onto your face as your cheeks felt hot immediately. “i can’t believe i’m saying this but...fuck it. beat the shit out of vanessa.” 

the small smile grew as a laugh escaped your lips. you were quick to grab his hand as you both made your way back towards the kegger that was becoming a little more dense as the minutes passed. sarah, kiara, jj, and john b’s eyes were quick to fall on your interlocked hands with pope. both of you kept quiet, playing it nonchalantly. but you couldn’t help but notice pope’s look to john b and jj, all with smirks lined up on their faces.

part two out later!! :) 

[miraeluc]

you’re suffering alone

prompt: “kageyama knows you as his little ray of sunshine, but what does he do when he finds out how you really feel?”

pairing: kageyama x female! reader 

word count: 3k

warnings: MAJOR tw!!! depression, again major tw self harm, reader cries a lot when kageyama finds out, reader’s mom is dead lol i went all out 

genre: fluff, angst

you were always their little ray of sunshine

when you first joined the school a year ago and introduced yourself all excitedly

hinata ran to tanaka after that class

“we need to convince her to be our manager!!!!”

tanaka was down lol

it didn’t take long to convince you, you were looking for extracurricular activities to engage in anyway 

the conversation went a bit like this

“y/n-san! do you want to be karasuno’s volleyball team manager?”

“sure!”

“we swear it- did you just say yes?”

“...yes”

cue tanaka and hinata screaming 

after you became their manager it didn’t take you and kageyama too long to fall in love either 

he adored the good vibes you brought with in any room you stepped in and you enjoyed the calmness that came with him (except when hinata’s around to annoy him, pretty boy radiates ᵃⁿᵍʸ energy then lol)

poor boy didn’t know that what he felt towards you until he had the whole team screaming at him to ask you out 

so he did 

and so you ended up here, 10 months into dating kageyama and 12 months into being karasuno’s manager along with kiyoko and hitoka 

everyone found it a little weird that you were always the one to stay the longest out of everyone, but everyone assumed it was just because you genuinely enjoyed being there

which you did, don’t get me wrong

that just wasn’t the only reason.

no one actually knew why you had changed schools in the middle of the year

every time someone asked you pushed it off, claiming your old school just wasn’t working out and started babbling about how much you love being at this school and how glad you are to have found real friends like them

“time for a break, i brought food!!”

you held the bags of food up, getting tackled in a gross sweaty hug by nishinoya 

“it’s like you heard my stomach calling out for you, y/n!!! you’re my saviour!!!”

you immediately laughed 

“i know, noya, now get off, you’re sweaty” you cringed a little and he got off, a little offended but he quickly forgot about it and snatched the bags 

you were all sat on the ground, everyone eating quietly when hinata started complaining about his mother nagging him to focus a little more on studying 

that’s how everyone started talking about their mothers, somehow everyone having a little to complain about 

“what ‘bout you, y/n? you have nothing to remark about your mom like our little crybabies here?” daichi looked at you

everyone whined at that,, “we’re not babies!!”

you tensed up at the question before relaxing and smiling 

“nope! my mom is perfect.” you giggled

“woah, i wish!! you need to introduce me to your mom, y/n!!” 

noya was very invested in your mom being perfect, lol

you see

kageyama here is very observant, whether it be on the court or just, well, people in general

he saw you tense up for that split-second, not pressing it further 

he knows you most likely aren’t ready to talk about it 

now that he thinks about it, you never talk about your family

he’d love to know but he understands that you’ll come to him when you’re ready to tell him and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by nagging you about it

“i’ll introduce you to her, noya” you giggled

his face lit up and he nodded before the topic changed again and you could now also speak to them about how annoying and hard math class is

fr tho i hate math 

after they were done eating no one could move anymore, let alone practice

hinata tried

keyword tried 

he threw up....

no one else even wanted to practice after that - opting to clean up and end practice for today instead

“kageyama, ill head out a bit early today, i’ve got some stuff to do” you said

you startled the shit out of him because he was just bringing the last volleyball to the cart

“HO- oh.” he stopped himself from screaming and turned to you 

“alright, just take care..” he mumbled, ruffling your hair which made you whine and fix it 

you hate when he does that 

he thinks your reaction is adorable

you scoffed and pulled him down to your height to plant a little kiss on his cheek 

he blushed, pda isnt for him

you loved his soft side so much 

nonetheless he smiled at you and straightened up again 

“call me if anything happens” he cleared his throat 

baby was a little awkward with stuff like this 

you didn’t mind though

you nodded and smiled “will do!”

and off you were lol 

hinata then popped up infront of kageyama 

“what’d you do to her!?!?!?! she never leaves early!!!!!!!”

kageyama pushed him away by the head 

“she just has stuff to do, shut up.”

“hey, mom..” you smiled lightly as you sat down 

“nishinoya is really looking forward to meeting you! the whole team asked about you today.. today was an ok day, i was pretty distracted all day so i didn’t have the time to feel sad again.”

...

you sighed

“but, you know, it’s been getting harder lately. it seems that getting out of bed to get to school is getting harder.. i love making everyone happy, but it’s hard being the provider and never getting something in return. sometimes, when things get hard, i just want to drop everything. i want to stop acting so bubbly and happy, but i know you wouldn’t want me to lose my smile.”

you stood up 

“i’ll get going then, i love you.”

you placed the flowers down on the grave before you, staring down at it with a sad smile before making your way home, yet again 

the next day you showed up to school as you usually did, taking your seat next to kageyama after greeting him like usual 

you were having a conversation with hinata

it was too early for kageyama to speak 

everyone was confused when you didn’t show up to practice that day

kags(｡◝‿◜｡) , 2:47pm: are you not coming to practice?

y/n, 2:49pm: no baby, i’m sorry :( i really can’t tODAY, im so upset over it 

kags(｡◝‿◜｡), 2:50pm: did something happen?

kags(｡◝‿◜｡), 2:53pm: y/n?

y/n, 3.26pm: nope, i just have some stuff to do at home  (╥﹏╥)

the next day you showed up like usual again, this time attending practice too

just like that the days seemed to go by in a blur for you 

day by day you felt yourself breaking more 

day by day the scars on your hips multiplied 

and day by day it got a little harder to make the room light up when you stepped inside 

it was after practice and it was only you, nishinoya and kageyama left 

“hey, y/n, can i finally meet your mom today??”

he was pressing around so much about it 

you smiled and shrugged,

“sure, i bet she doesn’t mind a visit”

“can i come too?” kageyama asked timidly and you nodded 

“of course.. it’s about time.” you smiled 

your eyes were a little glassy 

he frowned

nishinoya was too busy getting excited over meeting the first ever perfect mother to notice and he began dragging you out “let’s go then!”

he was pulling you to the direction of your place before you abruptly stopped

“ah-ah, i didn’t say i still live with her, did I?”

you had both boys confused now and you started walking into the right direction

you intertwined your fingers with kageyama’s

he squeezed your hand a little 

he knew you needed a little support 

only did he not expect you to lead them to the cemetery

nishinoya’s smile dropped when you actually entered the cemetery 

he saw it but he expected you to walk past 

you stopped in front of your mothers grave 

“there she is.” you let out a sigh 

kageyama felt his heart drop 

“wait, y/n, i’m so sorry for pressing this so mu-”

kageyama pulled you in a tight hug, shaking his head at the boy, who now went quiet 

he felt so horrible

you were trying so hard to hold your tears back, looking at noya

“don’t worry, you didn’t know.” 

you still smiled at him 

kageyama then spoke 

“it’s best if you go home, don’t you think?”

he didn’t even sound angry at this point 

nishinoya nodded and left 

he really felt so bad 

you couldn’t hold back and broke out in tears after

this was the first time you cried in front of your boyfriend 

he didn’t expect it to hurt this much 

hearing your little sobs break through you 

he could feel his own heart breaking as he tightened the hug 

neither of you said anything

he just let you cry into his chest 

he didn’t need to tell you he was there for you with words

he told you through gently patting your back as you cried

he told you through not judging you when you cried like this 

even when it started raining and the rain was slowly seeping through both of your clothes he didnt loosen his grip on you 

he let you finish crying 

however long it took 

and when you finally looked up at him, only the moon’s light illuminating your face, he felt his heart break, again, at the sight of your puffy eyes and red nose

he wanted to protect you from all bad things, forever.

“gosh, i’m sorry, it took me so long to stop crying..” 

he shook his head and pecked your forehead quickly “no. you didn’t.”

“..is this why you always avoided talking about your mother?”

you nodded, looking down at her grave, the flowers you placed there two days ago already droopy

you then looked up at him again 

“thank you, for.. supporting me..”

nishinoya apologised about 27 times when he saw you 

you kept reassuring him that it was alright but he felt so bad 

he felt so bad he couldn’t even properly play that day 

daichi sent him home early

“come back when you dont have two left legs!!!”

practice ended soon after that anyway 

you sat on a bench, filling out the last bits of your homework so you didnt have to do it at home, not even noticing that it was just you and kageyama left until he called out to you 

“hey, y/n, mind throwing me some balls? i’m not tired yet and i want to keep practicing”

you happily helped

you admired his determination to get better daily

it was refreshing, seeing him so passionate about volleyball 

how couldn’t you help when he asked like that

that’s how he was now practicing as you were talking 

“can you come over tonight?”

you furrowed your brows

“but it’s a school night?”

he shrugged “i don’t care. you haven’t been at my place for three entire weeks! i only see you at school, i miss you.” he was honest

he really missed you and he wanted to know what was up with your lame excuses every time he asked 

you then nodded 

“alright then, i’ll come.”

whilst he was busy drinking water you tried ‘passing’ the ball (at which you horribly failed)

“look, i’m a better setter than you!”

he chased you down lol 

you took him by surprise when he finally caught you, grabbing onto your hips, followed by a loud intake of breath and a wince from you

fuck

well

he obviously immediately let go

“y/n. what’s wrong?”

you sighed and turned towards him

“um.. i.. hit my hip earlier today..?” you trailed off and he immediately knew that you were lying 

honestly, he kind of had an idea of what it was 

he just didn’t want to think of that possibility

he might be a bit slow, but he’s not stupid 

he has a slight idea why you haven’t been coming over

he notices how the circles under your eyes have gotten darker 

he notices how you sleep in classes, which is something you never do 

and he’s so, so worried 

but he’s scared to approach you 

he’s scared to confirm his worst fears 

he shook his head at you “don’t lie.”

you sighed softly “kageyama, it’s nothing.”

you avoided his gaze and he shook his head again, now unable to hold back from speaking 

“no, y/n. you’re not okay, i know you’re not. i know that you struggle every day and i know you don’t like speaking about it, but i just can’t keep watching you suffer in silence, i do give you your space, but not when it truly concerns your well-being to the point i cant touch you or see you as often as i’d like to!” 

he stopped and took a deep breath, shaking his head 

“let’s go home first, i want to talk about this in a place i can do more for you.”

you were speechless

you never had expected him to notice anything, let alone speak up about it 

you were so lost in thought you let him drag you to his room quietly 

you snapped back to reality when he was unlocking his door, walking inside when it was open - you following 

you sat on his bed, still not knowing what to say

how the tables turn, usually its kageyama being the quiet one and you being the one to fill the silence with unnecessary babbling lol 

he looked at you, uncertainty swimming in his eyes

“can i see?”

you immediately knew what he was talking about, looking down 

you pondered over it a little before nodding

he crouched down before you, looking up at you 

“you know you can trust me, right?”

you furrowed your brows “of course”

“you don’t need to hide your feelings from me, baby, i love you through all of your emotional states, i love seeing you happy but i like comforting you when you feel sad too, you mustn’t hide your feelings.”

your eyes filled with tears at that one sentence

i love you through all of your emotional states

“thank you..” you sniffled

“i mean it. it hurts me when you hide it, it makes me feel so helpless, i don’t want to watch you crumble before my eyes, please, talk to me..”

“i just feel so hopeless, kags.. my heart feels so dull lately.”

you finally let in

“it feels like every single day repeats itself and all of my responsibilities are so hard to fulfill..it’s so hard turning up to school, bringing positive energy with me when all i feel is my sadness taking over my entire self bit by bit.”

he was listening, now sat on the floor before you, chin resting on your knee as you spoke

“but you’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness except yours. i don’t like when you prioritise others before yourself, y/n.. i don’t say it often but you’re truly so important to me and i don’t want you to lose yourself only because you try to make others happy.. it isn’t worth it, we love you for you, i can assure you, no one from our group would judge you for feeling down, we all have bad days, gosh, we all have bad weeks or even months! hiding these feelings will only worsen your pain and lead you to.. do irrational things..” he said, fingertips tracing over your hip gently

“let me see first and then we’ll talk about how we’re fixing this, ok?”

you sniffled and nodded, letting him pull the side of your pants down enough to reveal to him what he feared most 

seeing the cuts scattered on your skin broke him, truly.

he gulped and stood up, leaving to get you a pair of his shorts

“put these on, this way i can tend to them better.” he said, wanting to clean it up first before telling you his thoughts about it 

you nodded and changed into the shorts, him trying not to break down there and then as he left to get some stuff

when he came back you were patiently waiting for him and let him clean the cuts with some alcohol (not without complaining at the stings) before he bandaged them up as best as he could

he then laid down and pulled you with him, hugging you

“oh my precious y/n..” he mumbled

he was hugging your head to his chest to hide the fact that he was tearing up 

he wanted to help you so bad but he knew exactly that he couldn’t just end your suffering and it hurt him 

“but why? why do you do that to yourself?”

his voice cracked when he asked and you looked up, realisation hitting you 

you hurt him so bad by doing this.

the person you loved and cherished most 

“it felt like the only escape”

he caressed the top of your head

“pressuring you into stopping won’t help and isn’t worth it, but please, when you feel like.. doing that, call me instead. i’ll be at your place in no time and- even if you don’t want to talk i can just hug you and keep you company-”

you cut him off by pressing your lips against his

“i will, baby. i’ll call you whenever i feel down from now on”

he nodded “thank you”

he was thanking you as if he wasn’t the one helping you right now

you now hugged him back, “i’m sorry for not saying earlier..”

he hummed “lets just lay here. you’ll get better, i promise.”

he kept his promise

ever since that day, he’s been calling you morning and night, making sure you felt good waking up and going to bed 

he often called you through entire nights

he made you slowly start to understand that your purpose wasn’t to make anyone happy but yourself

he made you realise you were more than a mere person that’s always happy

and he made you understand that showing your feelings wasnt something to be embarrassed about 

(the entire team was very supportive too when they found out you were struggling! kageyama didn’t explain the details though)

so yep.

you had kageyama and a bunch of friends that were supporting you 

and for the first time, you felt hopeful for the future, your mother watching over you proudly after years of struggling and even having to move schools for a fresh start

she could now rest easily, knowing your guardian angel found his way to you and won’t ever leave you.

a/n: YALL I MADE MYSELF EMO WITH THIS ONE:( i hope you enjoyed it & please leave comments about it! 

[barnesbabee]

𝓹𝓵𝓪𝔂 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 - 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓵

|| ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ || ⇜ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ - 21

⟿ ꜱᴜᴍ��ᴀʀʏ: No sensible person would turn down their boss if they looked good as good as Seonghwa. But maybe they would wish they had…

⟿ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ: CEO!Seonghwa x reader, bestfriend!Yunho x reader || Social Media!AU || no gender specified for the reader

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: (send me a DM or an ask to be added) @ateezappreciation @shinyddeonghwa @lilithpooped @cloudyyeonnie@yeosangmystar @wooyoung-a @sanisms @mingismoon @lovelyvitamin @anawwyd @annasbannas @im-just-trying-to-survive-man @uglychildd @oddlittlefandomist @hwahomie @jin-neck-shaft @lovelyvitamin @yeosangmystar @skmoonchild @lovelymultiwrites @sunwooyoung

Panic settled in the room as Seonghwa's words echoed in your heads. Yunho was dead, Mingi disappeared, San wasn't waking up and the body was gone.

And meanwhile, you were getting railed in Seonghwa's office. You felt sick to your stomach, not knowing what to do, or where to even start.

"Someone say something!" Jongho yelled, at the top of his lungs, finally breaking his calm character.

The silence in the room was heavy and you suddenly felt as if you couldn't breathe, as if someone was gripping your throat from the inside. As if on cue, San groaned and his eyes fluttered open.

"What the fuck?..." He groaned, as he sat up straight with the help of one hand.

San rubbed the back of his head with his other hand, hissing as he moved it up and down slowly.

You and Seonghwa ran towards him and knelt beside the man.

"San what happened!?"

San sat against the sofa, feeling too sick and too dizzy to sit up straight on his own. He took a couple of breathsm trying to recollect what happened before he blacked out.

"There really isn't much to say, right after Y/N left Mingi asked me to get him something from the kitchen and when I came back someone, I'm assuming Mingi, hit me with something in the back of the head. Next thing I know I'm waking up next to Jongho."

Seonghwa stood up, visibly stressed and irritated.

"Y/N I- I can't take this anymore. I'm tired, I'm stressed out, I wake up, go to sleep and go through the day stressed but I try to keep calm and be reasobale but I just can't anymore! I need to rest, I need time!" Jongho said.

His voice was shaky, his face was red and his eyes were desperate and tired. He had huge bags under his eyes, and he looked as if he wanted to cry, but was too tired to do so.

"I... I know. I know what you're feeling because I'm feeling it too, but the body is gone, and you know that if the body is found we'll all be questioned by the police and if he turns himself in he will also be questioned by the police and we both know that in either case they will be asking questions. The body is decomposing! They'll start asking why he didn't come right away, what happened between the murder and the confession, and it doesn't take much for Mingi to break! If he goes down he'll bring us with him!"

Your voice was unstable from crying, and you, just like every other person in the group, regretted helping Mingi. You should have stayed mad at him. You shouldn't have babied him and helped him cover up a murder. But it was too late, friendship and compassion won over you as if you were in a kid's cartoon where the power of friendship could overcome anything. But it didn't.

"Each of you get in one of my cars. We're splitting up and looking for him. Keys are in the ignition, let's go. The sooner we find him, the sooner it will all be over."

Seonghwa turned his back and started walking towards the garage, giving them no time to oppose themselves to the plan, or to complain at all.

Four motors roared in the garage as each of them left in their respective car to look around. He couldn't have gone very far, it had only been a couple hours and Mingi had no car and no money for a cab.

It was becoming increasingly hard for San to throw off Wooyoung. They had been spending a lot of time together and these past few days he had barely talked to the younger boy, making the latter suspicious that either San had gotten tired of him, or that he had found someone else. Either way Wooyoung was panicking and constantly blowing up San's phone, which was just the cherry on top. After the 10th ding sounded from his phone, San pulled over for a second and called Wooyoung.

"Heeey Woo." He said, trying to sound as sweet as possible.

"San what's happening? Please tell me if you're getting tired of me... Don't give me any hopes, because I really like you."

"What? No Wooyoung, I like you, like... a lot. Really. But I've just been busy with consoling Y/N, and there was a bunch of issues in some paperwork from my part-time job so I had to work on that as well, it's just been a very tiring couple of days, I'm sorry... Can I get back to you once I'm done? I need a little rest."

As far as Wooyoung knew you were still upset at Mingi.

"Alright fine, but I expect a nice homemade dinner once you're free."

"Of course baby."

San hung up with a sigh, relieved that he bought his excuses, and started the engine once more, resuming his search.

San was driving around the town, searching places with fewer people and hidden spots where rarely anybody went to. He ended up in a couple bad neighborhoods, which in retrospect it wasn't very smart since he was riding a Rolls Royce, but they hadn't been making good choices the past few days. Seonghwa headed back to the cabin where they had found the body, you searched every bridge and police station and Jongho went to his apartment.

It was minute 12 of driving around when you received a call. It was a group call with everyone involved.

"The body is back in the cabin. It's covered with all the leaves and shit we put here."

"Don't touch it, get out of there for now. I'm still trying to get to his house, anyone got anything?"

Jongho's question was met with a bunch of no's.

"Well I'm almost at his house and I can see- oh my God. I found him. I found him he's standing on a balcony and I think he's gonna jump everyone get here!"

Jongho hung up and you told Seonghwa the address. Thankfully you were close by and got there in no time. Jongho sprinted up the stairs and by the time you and San got to the house he was trying to talk Mingi out of it. Mingi was standing on the edge of his balcony, on the other side of the railing, but still holding onto it. Jongho was crying and begging Mingi to come to his senses and to come back inside, as he gripped his arm.

"It's no use Jongho, just let me go! This is not up to you!"

You and San got up to the balcony as well, trying to talk Mingi out of it.

"Mingi please! We'll get through this I'm begging you, we can't lose you too!" You yelled.

You wanted to stay composed but you couldn't help the tears streaming down your face. Even Jongho, who was usually very uncomfortable displaying his emotions, was crying and begging.

When Seonghwa got to the scene, he was terrified. He didn't know what to do, which was a common thing throughout the past few days, and it was killing him.

Everyone was pulling on Mingi's left side, trying to pull him up along with Jongho, so, without anyone noticing, he jumped outside the railing, and slowly walked towards Mingi without him noticing either.

Once he was close enough, he grabbed the man and pulled him up and over the railing, while holding himself stable with one hand on said railing.

However, Mingi's selfishness was bigger, and in the end, he showed that no matter what other people did for him, he was going to put himself first.

Mingi was mad, he thought his friends were being selfish and had no say in the matter, so while being saved, while going over the railing back into his house, he kicked it away with all the strength in his body, making him fall back.

Seonghwa, who was holding onto Mingi, failed to grip the railing harder and fell with Mingi, looking into your sad, panic-filled eyes as he fell to his death.

You bent over and watched the man you loved fall, in what felt like slow motion. His body hit the ground, and with an ugly cracking noise, Seonghwa's head split open.

You sprinted down the stairs, and once you got down to the ground people were circling the two men, taking pictures and gasping at the scene. You shoved away everybody in front of you so you could reach Seonghwa. His face was nearly intact, but the pool of blood surrounding his cracked skull told you there was no way he'd survive. His chest moved up and down quickly, for a couple of seconds, indicating the intense pain he was in.

"Seonghwa I'm sorry- I-I'm so sorry! Please... I love you..."

Just as the last three words left your mouth, you could see his lips twitch, before his chest stopped moving, before his eyes lost all of their color, before his body went limp in your hands. You stayed there, holding the face of the deceased man you once loved, your clothes soaking his blood and you cried out for forgiveness.

You didn't dare look at Mingi, but you sure hoped he was dead.

But he wasn't. And in the end. When the ambulance and the police came, they took Seonghwa to the morgue and Mingi to the hospital. Mingi ended up surviving after intense surgery, but not for long, because you would end up killing him.

"You don't get to live!" You told Mingi, as you stabbed gagged him and stabbed him over, and over, and over.

He died in a slow, agonizing way, just like you wanted him to. After all he put you, San, and Jongho through, after the sleepless nights, the constant stress, after staying the love of your life he still thought he'd get a second chance!?

You made sure he suffered, and you made sure he knew how much you hated him as you pierced your old, blunt, and rusty knife into his body.

San and Wooyoung ended up fleeing the country, and Jongho joined the military, both too afraid to face the reality and their past actions, seeking any refuge outside of their past lives. They did end up hearing about Mingi's death, and neither of them seemed to care. After everything, they just gave up on him completely.

You were arrested for Mingi's murder, but after confessing everything, and giving a couple touch-ups where you removed Seonghwa, Jongho, and San from the story, and after leading them to Yunho's body, the lawyer from your case pleaded not guilty, and blamed your acts on the heavy toll the incidents of helping your best friend, and the death of your lover, had taken on you, and the judge agreed that you should be under house arrest, with a government assigned professional that would assist you, take care of you, and report back to court.

Was that the end? Was that all there was to your life? That seemed to be the case... Sooner or later you'd end up joining Seonghwa however, you knew that much, you just hoped he was somewhere waiting for you.

[just-call-me-johnny-archive]

[[TW for abusive language and canon typical violence. Reader discretion is advised.]]

Johnny doesn’t know when he started walking through a crowd of people in a ballroom. It feels like he’s been doing it for a good while, but he can’t be sure. He just knows he has to find his partners. He pushes through until he finds a clearing in the middle. He looks about for fiery red hair and a tall man in a suit. There are a lot of people dressed up. Even he’s dressed up- but his clothes are torn and bloody. He recognizes them from the night Dwight was impaled.

In his distracted walking state he stumbles and trips over something large and ends up falling onto his knees. After gritting his teeth against the pain, he looks over his shoulder and his eyes widen, tears already forming.

He goes over to Dwight’s side and pulls the bleeding, beaten man’s head into his lap. “Dwight! Dwight- what happened!”

Dwight’s eyes open and lazily roll over to look at Johnny. There’s a coldness to them, like the smaller man woke him up from a good restful nap.

“You happened, Johnny.”

A shiver runs down Johnny’s back and he blinks and Dwight is gone, he’s kneeling down in a thick puddle of blood. He shakily rises to his feet and walks aimlessly. He almost doesn’t recognize how the fluid turns into solid. A blanket. Or a towel. Covering what looks to be a body.

With trembling hands, Johnny peels back the layer of cloth and screams as he scrambles backwards. There’s no way- no- this can’t be real. Leera’s not dead. She’s not. This is all a dream.

He gets back to the feet and suddenly becomes aware of the wood at his feet. He could recognize the floor of 777 with his eyes closed- every ridge embedded into memory. Every creak.

A mirror stands beside him as he fumbles around the dark room, grabbing for something- a light switch- a door. He finally grabs something until that same thing grabs onto his wrist. And pulls him roughly.

“Leera?” He says before tears are coming to his eyes. “Oh- thank fuck - I thought you-“

“Stay away from me, you monster! How could you? You should have died, not him! You!” She grabs onto the back of his hair and slams his face into the mirror repeatedly, saying the same thing over and over. He should have died. He should have died.

Johnny wakes up, panting, sweating, sobbing. He feels about his face, feeling a bandage over one of his eyes and yards of cotton-padded skin. There’s an IV in his hand and he’s laying on a hospital bed.

It was just a bad dream.

Suddenly, the light comes on in his room and Leera and Dwight are sitting by his bedside. They look- conflicted.

“We need to talk, Johnny,” Leera starts, then looks over to Dwight for support.

“About- where we should go from here- once you’re healed up. We just- need some time to really think about what being with you means for us- for our family.” Dwight holds his girlfriend’s hand and Johnny has never ached so much for the same touch, but it’s like they’re deliberately not making an effort to touch him at all. Like they’re trying to keep him away.

“We just believe that maybe we rushed into this too fast. That we were just happy you survived and- we got a little too excited. But I think we’ve had plenty of time to… mull it over.” Leera explains.

Johnny feels his throat constrict and his body tremble- he’s already starting to sob- trying not to show it. Trying to show he’s stable, that he’s a good partner and that they don’t have to leave him. That he can be good.

“Oh boy, and he’s crying- look, Johnny, this is exactly what we were talking about. We haven’t even said anything and already you’re starting to get overwhelmed. We just don’t think we can keep walking on eggshells like this around you. Certainly not for the rest of our lives.”

“I’m sorry,” his voice is wavering as more tears come out, every word feeling like a stab at his heart. “I’ll- I can be good. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me- im- im fine- I-“

“No, you’re not fine. You need help, Johnny, and frankly I’m tired of acting like your therapist. Every moment we’ve been together has been one session after another. It’s just not healthy or right- for any of us.” Dwight’s voice is stern with a finality that makes Johnny feel like his world is crashing down. Which it is. He feels like he can’t breathe and before he has time to try and settle his racing heart Dwight and Leera are already leaving his room.

“Wait! Wait please—!” He yells in pain as the IV in his hand keeps him there even as he tries to get out of the bed. He yanks it out and tries to get up before someone is pushing him deep into the mattress, keeping him there.

“Hey- hey it’s okay. Just a nightmare, Swallowtail. Just lay back for me.”

Johnny stops struggling for a moment as he hears that nickname, before looking up and finding Vargas hovering over him, a hand pushing into his shoulder, trying to get him to lie down again.

“That’s it. Stay right there. You’re okay. There- much better.”

He moves quickly to try and roll out from under the man but Vargas quickly takes both of his wrists into his fists and keeps Johnny pinned.

“I said fucking stay dammit.” He growls, tightening his grip until bruises appear on Johnny’s wrists. Johnny looks frantically around the room but nothing is visible other than Vargas. He doesn’t know where he is. How he got here. Where is his Counselor and Cornflower?

“Don’t you remember? They didn’t want you. Nobody did. Not after what they saw you do. When they saw who you really were.” Vargas says, a grin on his face as he lightens the grasp on Johnny’s hands.

Johnny’s head snaps back to stare at Vargas who just laughs and strokes the side of Johnny’s face with the backs of his knuckles. “There there- it’s alright. You’re with me now, and I already know every piece of you. I made you the way you are. I’m all you have now. So I would stop fighting back if I were you.”

“But… they said they loved me. They - they told me they wouldn’t leave me. They wanted me. They-“

“Lied- I think is the word you’re looking for. I’m sorry that you’re the last to know, Swallowtail, but unfortunately you just never could learn the easy way. Did I not warn you countless times that no matter how believable it may seem- no matter how infatuated they claim to be- nobody will ever love you?”

Johnny blinks back tears again; Vargas had told him that. But they’d been so sincere. They’d held him, kissed him, they’d even gone farther than that. Or at least he had with Dwight. They acted like they cared so much- that they would be by his side every step of the way. How could they just throw him to the side like this?

And what about his family? Was he no longer worthy of their mercy of their love? What did he do? What did he do wrong? Why does he keep fucking up like this? Why was he so broken and worthless?

“Chin up, my boy. At least you can no longer ruin their lives and make them live in fear that one day you’ll snap and kill them. They’re much happier without you around. Isn’t that what you wanted? For them to be happy? To be safe? Then why are you so upset?”

“Oh- is it because you only wanted them to be happy and safe as long as you’re around? You never truly cared about them either. Only wanted them for their love and affection and attention. It’s only natural.”

Johnny’s teary gaze shifts to the side. Was Vargas right? Did he really care? Shouldn’t he be happy he can no longer hurt them?

He only feels empty and sad and lifeless. Vargas lets go of him completely, backing off the bed. Johnny’s eyes widen as he watches him leave. He hates this man- but his mind is screaming for him not to leave. He doesn’t want to be alone right now.

“I guess in the end you were always meant to be all on your own, Nny. After all, you just push everyone away. And one day, they won’t come back.”

With those departing words, Johnny watches as Vargas fades from his sight and leaves him in the dark room. At some point the man had cuffed Johnny to the headboard or some other thing because when he tries to chase after him or even get up from the bed, he’s completely immobile. He screams for him to come back, for Dwight, for Leera or Chance or Addie or Midge or anyone to please just give him another chance. He can be good. He doesn't want to be alone. He sobs to himself, screaming until his lungs nearly give out.

Finally, he actually does awaken, screaming into the dark room. He feels around his wrists for cuffs that aren’t there. His breaths are wheezy, panicky and he feels like he’s wearing a blindfold but he’s not. There’s something on his eye that feels like cloth. His entire body comes alive with sharp pains with every movement and he skates his fingers over the bandages wrapped around him, shaking as he remembers what comes next.

But when only the beeps of his own equipment resound back to him, he settles into the bed and tries to regain control of his breathing.

Just a nightmare.

@leera-ozynite

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

CONGRATS ON 100 FOLLOWERS IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!! YOU DESERVE IT ALL!

So a soulmate event aye? I'm here for it.

I was thinking this prompt

- A red string tied around your pinky is connected to your soulmate’s pinky (when the two of you are in a certain distance)

With Atsumu or Osamu? I have a thing for those 2 and i just love them so much and they deserve nice things and just yes.

I hope you're taking care of yourself!!!!!

omg i sort of popped off on this one and it ended up just a lil longer than i thought it would and omg. i have no words for myself at this rate. look, i will not be judged for my sudden and random love this boy, but um. you’ll see

thank you for participating! I am taking care of myself most of the time so eh ya know

----

Your yearly visit to Japan wasn’t meant to be anything special. Just a trip to Japan where you’d meet your cousins again.

When the three of you stood next to each other, you could see why no one thought that you, Kiyoomi and Motoya were related. Alas, you were, much to the world’s surprise. It didn’t even help that you weren’t from Japan, so your grasp on the language was laughable. You coped and so did they.

“A volleyball game?” You quirked a brow at Motoya as he grinned widely, taking the seat opposite you and snatching an onigiri off your plate. A glare formed quickly on your face and you pulled the plate close to you, shovelling another in your mouth.

“Not just any game, but nationals.” There was a shine of excitement in his eyes and you shrugged.

“I guess I could go, not like I have any plans.” Your parents often described you as a perfect middle between Kiyoomi and Motoya; not quite an outgoing puppy, but not really hating the idea of people either. There weren’t too many things you and your cousins could agree on; it wasn’t that you hated each other, but you just never had the time to bond with them like they had. Still, when you got together, things weren’t awkward. They just… were.

“Do you ever have any plans?” Kiyoomi snorted, leaning against the kitchen counter. Resisting the urge to throw the plate at him, you settled on glaring at him.

“For your information,” you said, pointing at him, “I have plenty of plans when I’m back home.”

They both laughed. Motoya decides to cackle like a hyena, Kiyoomi chuckles softly. Was it really that hard to believe? Okay, so, sure, you didn’t really have that many friends - that didn’t mean you couldn’t have plans! It just meant that you’d spend more nights alone than you’d like to admit - they didn’t need to know that though. Not like you were going to tell them anyway.

What you hadn’t expected - from the brief description Motoya had given you on the way to the stadium - was that volleyball would be one of the most boring and thrilling things in your life. There were parts so filled with tension and passion that you could have drowned in it. And then some rallies would go on for what felt like days and you’d lose interest, only to be pulled back into it a second later.

Your cousin wasn’t the number one ace in the country for no reason; he played with a level head yet intensity beyond his years. You didn't even fully understand why Motoya was leaping across the court, or what a Libero was, or what was happening. How you’d never agreed to come before was beyond you.

But something is amiss, and you don’t notice it until a red string floats into your vision, like it’s purposefully making you aware of its presence. Your breath catches in your throat just as Kiyoomi slams down the ball.

It was almost funny that the year you decided to watch the volleyball game Motoya had been inviting you to for forever that you’re soulmate would suddenly burst into existence. You can’t help the sinking feeling in your stomach, because if you’d stayed back in your home country this year like your dad had asked, then you never would have gotten this opportunity again.

It didn’t take much internal convincing for you to start following the string. Looping through halls, twisting and turning around people. Anticipation built up, one you’d felt so many times today, but this was a different kind of anticipation. A swelling in your stomach, a flutter of butterflies that had been startled awake. Something so primal, an urge inside of you, yet something so calm at the same time.

The closer you got the more your mind urged you to run. As crowds formed, you couldn’t help but think back to your parents' comparison of you and Kiyoomi (because even if you didn’t hate people as much, crowds were your worst enemy).

You pushed through, ignoring the urges of your heart because God knows when you’ll get this chance again. That was the point. You probably weren’t going to get this chance again. Not since you would be starting University, your parents wouldn’t just be sending you to another country for a month - even if it was for family reasons - this was your final chance to meet your soulmate.

God, if you’d have known that your soulmate was in Japan this whole time then you would have begged to live here as a child, but you didn’t. Especially being the older of your cousins, you couldn’t help but feel slightly more anxious.

Barely 18, ready to live your life, and now you’d found your soulmate. Motoya would be excited for you, Kiyoomi would probably offer his apologies depending on who it was.

Thoughts wracked with who it could be. What they would look like. How they would act. Sound. Talk to you. React. You didn’t even notice how close it had gotten until a hand was pulled in front of your eyes; the person it was connected to looked down at you, tears in his eyes, though seeming generally disinterested.

Your heart stopped - whether from anxiety or excitement, you’d figure out later - he met your eyes and you couldn’t help but blush.

Just as you were about to speak - make your debut moment to your soulmate - a wave of people suddenly surrounded you and you froze. Like all the air had been taken from your lungs. Your heart - previously stopped - now worked in full force. If it weren’t for the buzzing in your pocket, you might have passed out right there.

Your soulmate was staring down at you as you shakily reached into your pocket, answering the call without any question. “Where are you?” Motoya’s voice rang clear. You blink slowly, trying to catch your breath enough to speak.

“S-soulmate…” the word feels so foreign on your lips (reasonably so). He instructs you to pass the phone to him - it takes a lot of effort, but you manage, ruling the phone away from your face and to him. He takes it - albeit hesitating - and starts a conversation with your cousin.

The string looks so strange wrapped around your finger but it was something simple you could focus on. Breathing was painful, and the crowd didn’t seem to be clearing. You didn’t catch the conversation but his face shifted and he reached out for your hand, looking around quickly.

He must have seen something that would help because he weaved you in and out of the crowd towards a corner with a group of people standing in it. You didn’t recognise them, so you could only assume this is where you were going to die.

You were too busy saying your prayers when he pulled you closer to him. “Who’s that?” Asked a boy with bleached blond hair, scrunching up his nose. You were probably hallucinating - and in the  off chance you weren’t, you were asking for more prayers - because the boy with the bleach blond hair looks almost identical to your soulmate.

He looked down at you with contempt, but you didn’t have the energy to care, not as your soulmate pulled you closer away from him. You could just imagine a smirk forming on his lips. Somehow, his presence calmed you just enough that you could focus.

He talked with - who you quickly learned to be - his brother and the rest of his team. Miya Osamu - your soulmate - kept you close by, still looking at you with disinterest. It didn’t take long for your cousins to find you, but even after they did, you didn't leave Osamu’s side.

Motoya pulled you into a hug and talked to you softly, Kiyoomi muttered exactly what you thought he would, “you’re an idiot.” But there was something caring in his tone.

Motoya was explaining to you that they made it to the second round, but you weren’t paying too much attention. Of course they made it to the second round, they always did (well, you weren’t sure of that, this was the first time you’d been here).

Throughout the rest of your visit to Japan you spent more time on your phone to Osamu than you would willingly admit to the boys. Considering he was from Hyogo, and you were staying in Tokyo, it only made it harder. You joked and said it would only prepare you more for the long distance you’d have to do when you returned home. You didn’t miss the sad look in his eyes. So many countless nights spent on the phone, pretending like you didn’t want to be in his arms.

Long distance was harder than you could have imagined; between opposing time zones, schedules, and just general life things, it was hard to find time to talk to Osamu. You made a promise to each other, that if you ever happened to go no-contact (whether by accident or on purpose) that you would find each other eventually.

That was what happened.

With so much work, you were losing sleep, your grades were slipping, everything was stressful. The same for Samu; he was too tired to practise, grades going downhill. You were the most worried when Tsumu stopped teasing his slightly younger brother and started actually caring.

Contact slipped until it just stopped. It wouldn’t be another five years until you’d see Samu again. 

You finally made the decision to move to Japan - specifically Hyogo - you’d claim it was because Kiyoomi lived there, but really it was because you hoped for a chance encounter with Osamu.

Kiyoomi made the decision to introduce you to his team and you were met with one overly excited Miya Atsumu. The boy - although now he was more of a man - recognised you immediately as his brother's soulmate. He stepped away from you briefly, claiming he had an urgent phone call to make and you didn’t question it - you had no reason to after all.

Not until that familiar red string floats into your vision as it had done all the years ago and you turn around to see Osamu standing there, a little out of breath but so happy. You act on instinct, throwing yourself into his arms and promising to not leave his side again.

----

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[13uswntimagines]

Together (USWNT x Reader)

Request: team x reader where r gets hurt (needs crutches) during practice and the team is of course really worried for her and r stops eating and is upset and takes it out on the team the rest of camp (because she doesn’t think she can make it back in time for Tokyo) but it gets resolved after reader is crying and team is there to comfort her? (maybe some christen x reader) could you also do at the end where the reader either gets named to the roster/ the first game since injury?

You stared unseeingly at the hotel room ceiling, the doctor's words rolling endlessly through your mind. It was an accident, you knew that and you still loved Ali, but the situation fucking sucked. It wicked that her tackle had been late. It sucked that your ankle had gone in the opposite direction of your body. It really sucked that you had needed surgery to fix the compound fracture that had resulted in the collision. And it Really Really fucking sucked that you would “be lucky to walk without a limp for the rest of your life, much less run around on a field,”. 

You were only 22, and the doctor had basically but a death sentence on your career. The only reason you hadn’t been sent home was that your team moms Kelley and Alex hadn’t made the argument that there was no one there to take care of you. It would have been easier if they had let you leave. Then at least you would have more time to figure out how to tell them that you were never going to play soccer again. 

A knock sounded from the hotel room door, and you glanced at it for a few seconds, before retiring your attention to counting the texture in the ceiling, contemplating what the fuck you were supposed to do with the rest of your life. 

The knocking stopped for a second, before starting up louder. Maybe if you didn’t respond, they would think you were asleep and leave you alone. You didn’t want visitors right now anyway. No one else deserved to have the rest of their camp ruined with your sour mood. You needed to make them hate you so it wouldn’t hurt as much when you left. When they stopped talking to you because you weren’t useful anymore. When you lost the only family you had ever had. 

But the telltale click of the door lock told you that the women would not be so easily deterred. You didn’t bother to look at the women as they slid into bed beside you, Kelley on your left and Alex on your right. 

“What ya looking at kiddo?” Kelley asked, nudging your shoulder softly. 

“Just thinking,” You shrugged, your eyes never leaving the ceiling, even as Alex drew circles on your cheeks with her fingers, sharing worried looks with Kelley. Their little ray of sun was even more cloudy than it had been when they left earlier. One of them should have stayed with you. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Alex asked, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, trying to coax you to finally look at her. 

You bite your lip, your eyebrows furrowing as you try to get the words past the lump in your throat. 

“I can’t play,” 

You could practically feel Alex’s eye roll at the statement. And you frowned. She didn’t understand that this wasn’t just a temporary thing. 

“Don’t worry about that right now sweetie. Just worry about getting better,” She murmured, using a careful finger to tilt your head so you were making eye contact with her. You stared into her concerned blue eyes, praying that she couldn’t see just how much pain you were in. She didn’t need that burden. 

“Yeah ducky, just work on getting better and you’ll be tearing up the field with us again in no time,” Kelley added, propping her head on your shoulder. You rolled your eyes, nodding slightly. 

Normally they would have attacked you with tickles to get you to smile, but this time they didn’t. They simply sat up and offered you their hands. Even they had given up on you already, what was going to happen when they found out that you were useless to them now. 

“Now, dinners ready and you already skipped lunch today,” Alex said softly as you stared at their hands in discontent. 

“Wasn’t hungry,” You grumbled. The truth was that you didn’t want to confront your new reality. You wanted to stay in your little bubble and pretend that everything was going to work out fine. 

“Sure you weren’t,” Kelley laughed, growing tired of your resistance to them, and grabbing your shoulder to force you into a sitting position. 

“What we mean is that you’re not getting out of it,” Alex shot Kelley a disapproving look, but helped Kelley hoist you up. Her forehead wrinkled when you didn’t laugh at their antics, and instead just crossed your arms. 

“I hate you guys,” You huffed, pouting. 

“No you don’t, now, up you get,” Kelley laughed, kissing your cheek. 

“I can do it myself,” You hissed once you were sitting upright. You grabbed your crutches and forced yourself to your feet. The crutches rubbed uncomfortably against your ribs, but you ignored it. You didn’t need any more help. You didn’t need to give them any more reason to leave you. 

“Stubborn as always,” Kelley sighed, opening the door for you, and you held in your groan. They probably wouldn’t even miss you. 

The ride to the dining room was spent in uncomfortable silence. Neither woman quite sure how to broach the subject of your foul mood. 

“Hey gimpy, need help with your plate,” Ashlyn smiled, clapping you on the shoulder and nearly knocking you over. Kelley glared at her, reaching out a hand to steady you. 

“I got it,” You grumbled, shrugging off their steadying hands and beginning to maneuver yourself towards the food table. You didn’t want to eat (what was the point) but if you didn’t, they would make an even bigger deal than they already were. 

They watched you struggle for a moment, trying to balance a plate and hobble along the food table. Ali sighed, standing and making her way over to you.

“I’ll help you, this is my fault after all,” she said softly, grabbing the plate before you dumped its contents onto the floor by accident. 

“I said I got it,” You huffed, looking away from the woman, frowning as Christen joined you. God, you weren’t a child. You could get a plate of food by yourself. Ignoring the good intentions of your crush, you ground your teeth toge

“Is this all you’re going to eat? You need to keep your strength up kid,” Kelley scoffed at your choice of three dinosaur nuggets. 

“Like it matters now? I can’t play so what’s the point,” You grumbled, ripping the plate out of Ali’s hand and struggling to the closest seat. Christen sat down heavily beside you, followed by Ali, Ash, Kelley and Alex. 

“I’m sorry Y/n,” Ali whispered. It killed her to see you so distraught. To know that she was the reason you were so upset. 

You glanced up from your nuggets, making eye contact with the woman. You took note of the pained crinkles by her eyes. She didn’t have a right to be in pain. You were the one who just had their future destroyed. 

“I know,” You shrugged halfheartedly, playing with your nuggets rather than eating them. 

“You sound super convincing,” Ashlyn rolled her eyes. 

“Well, what would you like me to say?” You snipped back, quirking your eyebrow up at her. 

“We’re not your enemy babe,” Christen soothed, rubbing you back. 

“I know I’m just-.” You huffed, shaking your head frustratedly. What were you? You were angry, sad, a complete and total washout now. What was the point? You paused, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. To do what needed to be done. It would hurt less in the end. “I’m tired and not hungry and I just wanna go to bed,” You finished, staring down at your untouched nuggets. Your hands fidgeted in your lap for a second before you reached for your crutches. 

Your fingertips brushed the dreaded walking device at the wrong angle, sending it crashing to the ground. Just like your dreams. You shoved your plate away, leaning as far as you could in your chair to retrieve the crutch, only for the other one to join it on the floor. You glared at the items, oblivious to the worried mother hens watching you fall apart over being unable to get them on your own. 

It was Christen who took potty on you, lifting the crutches off the floor and presenting them to you. “Let me help you,” she smiled sadly, and you grit your teeth. Your cheeks flamed red as you grabbed the items. 

“Aw kid, don’t feel bad, we all need a little help sometimes,” Ashlyn smiled kindly. The rage and embarrassment boiled inside you. They didn’t fucking get it. 

“Im not a fucking invalid. I don’t need your fucking help. I don’t need these or anything else,” You growled, throwing your crutch across the room and into the food fable with a crash, the other on suffering the same fate as you forced yourself to stand. Pain shot down your leg, but you ignored it, determined to prove to them all that you could do it yourself. 

The room sat in stunned silence. They knew you were upset, but you had never ever lashed out like this before. 

Christen was the first person to jump into action. She held her hands out as she approached you, as if you were a wounded puppy she needed to show she meant no harm. 

“Babe, don’t, you’ll just make it worse and if you ever wanna come back..-“ she tried softly, wrapping her arm under your armpit in an attempt to prevent you from putting weight on your injured foot. You shrugged her off, taking a bold (and excruciatingly painful step forward). What was the point. You would never see the pitch again anyway. 

“You just don’t fucking get it so you? I’ll never ever get to come back. That sloppy tackle made it so I’ll be lucky to walk normally again, much less kick a fucking ball,” You spat, tears finally making their way down your face. 

You could feel the weight of the teams putting gaze. The heaviness that filled the room, like a wave of realization crashing over them. You kept your eyes on the floor, you hand clenching and unclenching around nothing, eating for them to disown you. For the next logical step to happen. 

“Y/n,” Ali started, tears evident in her voice, but your venomous scowl stopped her. “I’m fucking useless now, so just fucking drop it, alright?!” 

You attempted to take another step, using the chair as support, and forcing yourself forward. You nearly collapsed as your full weight landed on your very injured foot. You were stubborn, and you were determined to give them a reason for you to stay. You wobbled, nearly keeling over from the pain, gritting your teeth to stop the anguished cry from threatening to spill out. 

You pulled yourself back upright, about to take another step away from the chair supporting you, but soft calming hands on your shoulders stopped you. “Y/n Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself, more, and then we’ll have even bigger odds to beat,” Christen murmured into your ear, hugging you back into her chest and supporting your weight as she sat back into a chair and pulled you into her lap.  

“Yeah kid, fuck what the doctors say. You’re amazing and so stubborn that I dare them to try and keep you down,” Kelley added, coming to kneel in front of you, her hand in your knee. 

“Plus you’ve got all of us behind you, no matter what,” Alex said, coming up behind her. A sob ripped from your throat. That was your greatest fear. That they would leave you. Your family only tolerated you when they wanted something when you were successful, so you thought your soccer family would feel the same. 

“You promise?” You asked softly. 

“Absolutely kid,” Alex and Kelley said together firmly. You nodded and allowed the women to hold you as you cried. You would all get through this. Together. 

*****

You bounced lightly on your feet, cracking your neck as you waited for the match to start. There had been a tremendous amount of time and effort put into this moment. Hours upon hours of rehab, soccer training and therapy, but here you were in the starting 11 for the Olympic finals. 

“You ready baby?”  Christen hummed, her arms wrapping around you, kissing your cheek before resting her chin on your shoulder. 

You smiled, grabbing her hand. The woman had been instrumental in your recovery, and though it had taken you an embarrassingly, long time to ask her out, you had sacked up. You loved the woman so much that it scared you, and now she was your girlfriend (bum leg or not). “Always baby,” 

You had come a long way, and you had so much further to go. You would win like you always did. Together. 

[leah-halliwell92]

It’s Over

For @band--psycho​‘s bingo challenge. The prompt is enemies to lovers. Pairing is Tig x Reader

Note: (S/N) = sister’s name

“It was my sister,” you said coldly as you packed your bag.

Flashback

You’d just come back from a week long conference, Tig said he’d be on the road doing club stuff so timing couldn’t have been better. Everything went amazingly well, from your presentation to the doors that had opened for you and your career. Hell you could count the times someone told you to call em if you’re interested in a specific job. You’d done some light research and seen that most are out of state near the Maine area of the U.S. And while that seemed all well and good, you couldn’t just leave the family you’d made behind.

You were making Tigger’s favorite, ready to surprise him by taking it to the shop with promises of play time later. You loaded up the food into your car and made your way to T.Ms a happy grin on your face feeling giddy with all the pent up energy from not having seen your old man in a solid week. Yea there were calls but that shit ain’t the same.

You went through to the office waving at the boys as you passed by. You pressed a kiss to Chibs’ and Happy’s cheeks in greeting as you passed them by batting their hands away from the lunch bag.

“Nu uh,” you said with a grin, “This one is not for you. But let me know what you want me to bring for Sunday dinner and I’ll do my best. By the way have you seen Tiggy anywhere?”

The boys nodded happily but stilted at the question.

“He’s in the back,” Chibs said with a grin.

You noticed he didn’t look quite as teasing as he should have been but chalked it up to jet lag from the bike trip.

Happy didn’t look much better. You were sure if looks could kill someone would be dead with how cold and hard his eyes were.

“Come on little girl I’ll take you,” Happy said with a small smile.

“Lemme put this in tha lounge aye?” Chibs said reaching for the bag.

You furrowed your brows at them and the sudden odd behavior but gave Chibs the bag. You’d never needed any of the boys to take you to the back...

Happy didn’t say much on your way and you were going to say something when you heard moaning and heavy breathing.

You looked to Happy who nodded forward.

You walked up quietly hoping it was one of the prospects getting handsy with a crow eater. Your hopes were dashed at seeing Tig on a chair a woman bouncing on his lap. You covered your mouth to keep from gasping at who it was exactly that was on his lap. Your sister...

You made your way out to where Happy stood a sad look in his eyes.

You pulled out your phone and text widow, ‘Are there cameras in that room?’

You showed him the message and nodded as he confirmed it.

‘Get me a copy of that and make sure her face is visible,’ you typed in.

Happy looked at you startled, he’d never seen you so dead seat on something.

You turned around walked back into the room and took a picture of the deed tearful eyes cold and heart dead.

That done, you turned around and left. Out in the front, Happy and Chibs waited for you both concerned as they looked you over.

You took a seat in the lounge both boys at either side.

“Are ya gonna wait on ‘im?” Chibs asked quietly.

You shrug really not knowing what to do before sighing.

“Is it ok if I crash at either of you apartments?” You asked.

Happy nodded quietly, considering he never uses the place.

“I’ll help ya with your stuff,” Chibs said with a nod.

“No you won’t,” you say with conviction, “Despite everything going on between us now, he’s still your brother.”

“Yea...but if looks could kill he’d be dead,” Happy said with conviction.

You’d become family in the near 5 years you’d been with Tig. You meant a lot to them, even the prospects.

“I promise to keep in touch,” you say taking their hands in each of yours.

They nod and stand one to punch out the other to work the ladder not at all happy with how things ended.

As soon as Happy stepped out to punch out your sister walked out Tig not too far behind her.

“(Y/N)! You’re home!” Your sister said excitedly moving to hug you.

You kept your distance avoiding her hurt look and before she could say anything, you pulled out your phone showing her the picture you’d just taken. 

(S/N) paled at the image.

“It’s not what you think,” she said voice shaky. 

“No you’re right....him and I was not what I thought,” you said voice hard.

She shook her head pleadingly at that but before she could say anything...

“Baby!” Tig cried walking around (S/N) to envelope you in his arms.

You felt sick as he hugged you knowing where he’d been. It also didn’t help that (S/N) had been exactly were. 

“You ok?” He asked when you pulled away, “Did something happen?”

‘Yea you dick you cheated on me with my sister,’ you thought but shook your head and left without a backward glance Happy hot on your heels.

You were heaving from how angry and ready to break you were. Happy saw this and gently held you in place.

“Breath,” he said lowly as you both heard Tig yelling at Chibs.

“I can’t,” you said as tears fell.

“Chibs is being a door stop,” Happy said looking over your shoulder, “But if you wanna leave...”

“We leave after I do this,” you said and walked to Tig’s bike. 

You saw the men freeze as you looked at the bike a not so friendly look on your face.

Before Happy could do anything, you pulled out the knife Tig had given you for Christmas and slashed his tires making sure to leave the knife imbedded in the second tire.

You turn around to see a shocked and mouth agape Happy. 

“Ok...Now I can go,” you said and walked away to your car. 

You were stopped by your crying sister throwing her arms around you as she cried, “(Y/N) please!”

You pushed her off roughly not ready to deal with her yet and ran to your car.

You’d not sooner gotten in you car that you heard Chibs called out, “Move over lass! Ya ain’t in na condition to be drivin’.”

You were about to say no but was pushed to the passenger seat by the Scott. 

“Lemme drive lass, Hap’s holdin’ on ta Tig while ya make yer getaway,” he said with a small laugh as he remembered you’d slashed the bike tires, “Granted he won’ be goin’ nowhere on flat tires.”

Back at home, Chibs found empty boxes to start putting your things in as you told him what belonged to whom while you packed away your clothing.

~End Flashback~

“What the hell man!” You heard Tig yell at Chibs who was loading up the last of two boxes that held your things.

“Babe–”

“It had to be my sister,” you said not turning around continuing to pack your bag.

“Babe please!” He said desperately, walking to where you were and taking things out. 

You slapped his hand, hard, and repacked the clothing he’d taken out.

“And before you start, I saw you don’t give me the “it’s not what you think” crap,” you say as you packed up the last of your clothes.

“It didn’t mean anything!” He yelled.

“It meant enough for you to throw away 5 years together Alexander. Five fucking years I gave to you only to have it thrown in my face cuz my bitch ass of a sister made her cunt available to you while I was away for work,” you yelled turning to look at him, “And the worst thing is that I have no fucking clue how long this has been going on.”

Tig lowered his gaze and scuffed at the rug with his boot.

“How long Alexander?” You asked not really wanting to know the answer. 

“A month...” he mumbled out.

Chibs walked in just as Tig answered the question and looked at his brother in disbelief. 

“You sack o’ shite!” He yelled and punched Tig in the face, “You cheated on the best thing that has happened to ya with ‘er sister for a month! What was it Tig!? Was it the fresh pussy? That she was there? What the FUCK was it Tig!?”

“I don't know!” Tig yelled out as Chibs punched him while he was down, “I don’t know. She came onto me one night I’d mixed two drinks too many and next thing ya know I woke up with her on me.”

“Did it never make you stop and think to come clean!?” Chibs yelled.

“Dude she made me swear not to,” Tig said letting Chibs wale on him for the answer.

You on the other hand stood frozen as everything came to light. 

“She made you swear because of (S/H/N),” you said quietly. 

Chibs turned to look at you questions in his eyes.

“(S/N)’s husband is in the military and is diploid,” you said looking at Chibs, “She’s always been a horny bitch, sad she couldn’t just fuck a prospect and had to go for what wasn’t hers.”

Chibs approached you and nodded to the bags behind you on the bed. 

You nod and he takes them to the car.

“At least now I'm free to fuck any son I want,” you say cruelly, “Because now nothing is sacred, and that is on you. Enjoy the crows Alex, maybe they’ll help you forget about me.”

“But baby I love you!” He yelled after you.

You scoffed and said, “If you did you’d have come to me as soon as it happened. Not gone back for more....fuck you Alexander Trager and hope that this doesn’t make it’s way over seas.”

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉  skz with pregnant!reader 

bangchan x reader | first part of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & a tinge of angst

↬ warnings; pregnancy, birth, talk of vomiting, and lots of cursin

↬ notes; fuck i love bangchan sm and im excited dis the first part of daddy!skz o whateva

from the moment he knew, he honestly was scared at first and just wanted to pretend like he wasn’t going to be a father

he needed time to evaluate it all, he was honestly confused and scared, he was nervous and doubtful of his parenting skills and providing eighteen years + many years after for his child

u were nervousssss as helllllllllllllll to tell him what was up

“well, i’m- y’know- baby?” you tried to get out, ur words were hella scrambled and he was confused before he came to the realization of what you meant 

silence which is vv concerning 

u knew this was a shot in the dark sorta, u two weren’t even public on the relationship let alone public about a pregnancy?

u guys ended up taking a break for about a month, really not knowing what to say to each-other

u two were afraid, which was normal, u just rly didn’t expect it from chan of all people to walk away from u

anybody else u could expect,, but this?? this was unlike him & u were more scared by that

he wound up at your place, box in hands

(u were kinda at ur breaking point bc u thought he was returning ur things)

(newsflash it was his stuff)

“i’m sorry, i just— being a father? being a parent, i don’t.. i don’t know anything about it, but nobody does when they become one. so, i’m gonna figure it out with you.”

going through the first sonograms w him & crying a lot while u two talked about the future

ur hormones r going to be the death of chan

u are 0-100 holy mooolyy

hes very careful with his choice of words and how he delivers them, not wanting to upset you

chans first present for the baby is a kangaroo, with a matching little joey 🥺

he also is surprisingly a very big fan of kanga from winnie the pooh, which he buys winnie the pooh stuff for the baby JSJSJSJSJJS just bc kanga & roo remind him of u n the baby 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (i rly need to stop)

u were a lil big, having a cute big bump to pair with ur pregnancy, the inevitable announcement was needed to happen if u were ever going to step outside again

chan rly didnt want to announce it bc he didnt know what peoples reactions would be :(

he knew he was only twenty-seven so some people might think it was a bit too early to have kids, but he thought it was perfect the way it was

u guys hid it until u couldn’t, sparking little rumors of ur pregnancy but u both decided not to confirm them

chan obsessing and literally worshipping you in your third trimester

u in his shirts? he was fuckin over

kisses and cuddling all the time, no matter how tired u were or he was, u two would either fall asleep while doing so or lay there for awhile before u were like

“ok i gotta pee, help me up!!”

no but frfr this baby was torturing u the last stretch of ur pregnancy

it seemed that anything u ate either made u throw up or gave u heartburn

ur stretchmarks were getting worse & it seemed like u were getting bigger everyday

u were very insecure the last months, just cause a lot of comments were talking about a bit of weight gain in ur face, which fuck,, u would never be hurt by some comments but with ur hormones and KNOWING u have put on weight, u rly didn’t feel the same

ofc chan knows whats up and hes there to tell u some r e a l s h i t

“okay, yes. you have put on weight, but you’re pregnant. that’s the good thing about it, you’re healthy okay? whether you had a small bump and no extra weight put on or a big bump and extra weight put on, you are carrying a baby. you can lose the weight when it’s over, right? you don’t need to feel this way, okay? i’m the only one who you should listen to about your appearance, i’m here to tell you the truth. you are beautiful. you are the morher of my child, that’s what you are. you’re not ugly, or fat, you’re not anything bullshit that people say to you.”

when u started crying, chan panicked

“nononononoono, don’t cry baby!”

his arms were wrapped around you so tightly, feeling your face pressed against his shoulder and your arms around his neck

“i love you.” u would be rly quiet and his heart would break at the sound but ur i love you, he just— it was so real and he’d never felt like this before

“love u too.” he’d say that shit so proudly and kiss the TOP OF UR HEAD SO SOFTLY 🥺🥺🥺

when u finally went into labor, u were like wow this hurts a F U CK TOO NNN

u woke up to the bedsheets soaked underneath u, pins n needles were all u could feel

u kinda sat there for ten minutes, scaring urself n making urself nervous when u started doubting yourself and feeling the pain become stronger

ur hands were s hh aa kkyy

u would tap chan so softly and feel a little frustrated he didnt wake up but like how tf was he supposed to feel that 😳

u kinda started crying now because u were STRESSED and him not waking up (no shit ur little tap wasnt gonna work but) it felt like he was gonna sleep forever

so ur hands pressed on chan’s shoulders, shaking them a little bit and letting out a,

“chris?” which ur voice was quiet as hell, shaky as hell, and wavering as you whispered to him

him opening his eyes to see your teary ones n hes just so sad that his heart drops 🥺

he never wakes up quicker though and hes sitting up fast as fuck

“what? what’s wrong?”

ur literally sobbing and hes freaked out by this because u have never cried like this

he kinda just wants to go back to bed since ur just crying but he knows smth is probably wrong because ur SOBBING so

“my water broke.”

now its his turn to be nervous cause fuck he is feeling so unprepared

he said fuck shoes on u, slipping u into his own clothes and helping u into the car so u two could go

did i forget to mention the hospital was an hour away 😳

he wants to pull over hearing u whine n grip his hand, noticing ur quietness and ur little mumbles everytime u rest ur head back after a contraction

he doesn’t give a fuck, he will carry u into the hospital and then put u in a wheelchair from the entrance so u don’t have to walk

u have a feeling maybe hes more nervous than u but atm ur fuckin close to losing it over the pain

u two are settled into a room, epidural done and just trying to make u comfortable now

u were seven centimeters which u still had to wait but u both knew u were close to meeting ur baby

when u are at ten centimeters though, chan is just a ball of tears and he’s just so proud of you

your hand was in his the whole time, chan’s lips near ur ear and he’s just whispering for u to concentrate on him and how much u wanna meet the baby

“i—i can’t do it!” 🥺🥺

you were honestly so drained and ur forehead was laced with sweat, ur hands sweaty and shaking in his own from being nervous and slowly becoming weaker as u put ur strength into pushing

“baby, you are probably what? three pushes, maybe you can cut it to one and a half. alright? you can do this baby, we’re so close to meeting our baby.”

that’s all u needed n chan knew it

surprise surprise,, chan was right about one and a half

“it’s a boy!!” which chan would press his lips to yours so quickly, u two crying and letting out watery laughs as your baby boy cried 🥺

he hasn’t felt this much pride and love since debut or releasing an album or tour, he couldn’t express how gifted he was to have deserved the gift of being a father

ofc they introduce you both to kangaroo care, chan so ready to take off his shirt and feel his baby boy’s skin against his own warm skin and he did so

then it was ur turn to hold him the same way, chan asking u if he could pull down ur gown so u could hold him like he did

that was the picture he needed, snapping it and getting you holding the baby against your naked (ofc ur gown was covering ur breasts) chest, your son sleeping soundly with his hands pressed against you

u two were parents now, u both had learned about pregnancy together and now u two were going to explore parenthood together

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