#either i get the fuck out or die trying
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
prettyboysmlm · 1 year ago
Text
random memory of the night: when i was little my mom would grab my knee and squeeze as hard as she could and she wouldn’t let go until i told her that i loved her more than anything else in the world
5 notes · View notes
lokh · 1 month ago
Text
every day im reminded that though my parents may have wanted a dog they clearly did not want to take care of a dog
#and i KNEW this which was why i insisted on not getting dogs though they keep trying to gaslight me#into thinking that i agreed on the dogs. i didnt and i wish id railed against it harder#because ill be honest i knew i didnt want to take care of a dog i wasnt in the headspace#but i also knew that if they got the dog that the actual caring duties would be foisted off to me#and the things that They would have to do ie go to the vet nd pay the bills etc theyd complain about and avoid#and thats one thjng. but oh my fucking god. my dad specifically#its like hes trying to get these dogs to die. we have several plants in the backyard#bad for dogs. i point them out. i have pointed them out Several times.#theyre his plants the gardens his thats none of my things. he just goes oh they wont get into them#THEYRE DOGS. but he doesnt want to move his fucking plants#one of the dogs is on medicine but has a habit of not eating his food in the morning#which means if u leave his medicine in hjs bowl the other dog might eat it#one solution is to give him the tablet straight. because hes good about eating it#he doesnt want to because 'thats gross'. Are you five fucking years old#the dog doesnt like the texture of dry food so another solution is to wet it#dad wont do that either because 'hes too spoiled' and 'it takes time' ONE MINUTE?????????#like i have to assume this is some kind of ploy to make me do it instead when i dont wake up that early#because if its not then hes truly just incompetent or doesnt care about the dogs#which brings me back to WHY DID YOU GET THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.#im sick of having to worry about them when he just does shit like this its wasting my time and its wasting money#but ohhhh we dont want to give the dogs away theyre part of the family 🥺#CLEARLY. because apparently u wanted kids but didnt want to take care of them either!!#im pissed off!!! im tired!!!!!!!!#i need to know im not going batshit here for being pissed off!!!!!#the dogs are getting back to back problems and at least some of it would have been mitigated by oh.#i dont know. the bare minimum?????#at least if the plants had been taken care of i wouldnt have to wonder if theyd just gotten into them#or if its an actual problem like a mass or bite. but no now i dont know#and at this rate were going to waste money going to the vet every fucking week
26 notes · View notes
harlequinoccult · 2 months ago
Note
I HAVE THE EXACT SAME PROBLEM WITH YANDERE GAMES LIKE THAT!!! do you have any recs for games you think avoid that/games you ended up liking anyways?? I am SO desperate 🙏
Babe imma be so real. the pickings are SSSSLIM. However,
Perfect Love: Mc is unequivocally the one who fucking sucks here (complimentary) but also oh my god.
Duality: another one where mc can also fucking suck ass
Binary Star Hero: Mc has some bite to them, i personally think that could've been pushed even more but whats there is still good and has agency. Also i am so fucking unwell about Ray.
47 notes · View notes
hauntingblue · 23 days ago
Text
CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER (bark), THRILLER (bark) NIGHT
Tumblr media
Usopp's outfit is so funny for reals
Tumblr media
He got the whole squad laughing
Tumblr media
Luffy enablers at it again.... (Robin.... I know.....)
Tumblr media
The humor panels so far have been so good!!! God this arc is so funny
Tumblr media
HE SAID IT‼️‼️
Tumblr media
They look like birds 😭😭
Tumblr media
It's just too good... luffy taking cerberus and zombies what can't he do
Tumblr media
It's just banger after banger what can I say
Tumblr media
Franky feeling for other people because of his guilt complex and sanji lying through his teeth and pulling out the women excuse to seem unaffected... yeah
Tumblr media
Look at them.... look how they ate
Tumblr media
Omg joyboy reference?? (No)
Tumblr media
Sanji is rubbing off on usopp.... also chopper noticing that is sogeking's weapon akdhaksjak
Tumblr media
ANOTHER SLAY!!!!!
Tumblr media
Their priorities: I'm not strong enough, there isn't enough food, and nami isn't here
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Franky going from wanting to kill brook for his jokes to making a joke like his after he hears his backstory... exactly (Robin was already enabling him before the backstory even fdagjsfha)
Tumblr media
Sanji is altering his body and actually being on fire to communicate to us how fucking mad he is..... I need more of him going insane I do I do
Tumblr media
My god what is he doing ALDJALAJALA
Tumblr media
AHSAHAHQHAH THEY ARE THE SAME!!! naaah sanji wouldn't force a woman to be his wife
Tumblr media
You cant see me but I am nodding my head in agreement over and over
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You don't understand he altered his body to communicate to us how mad he is. He inploded himself and then reconstituted again. Those germa 66 genes are insane
Tumblr media
You tell em usopp!!!! The first of many girls you've scared into defeat!!! Akdjqknql
Tumblr media
Zoro zombie regressed to not trusting robin akdjaks he's still in there
Tumblr media
ROBI-CHO SUPLEX??? HELL YEAAAAAH
Tumblr media
There is zosa- [GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]
Tumblr media
Super frapper gong.... he is doing combo shots with frobin... omg.... parents....
Everything is so fun I'm having such a good time reading.... and then zosan angst like damn I am being fed well here
#in the anime the guys didn't say they wanted to die aldjlajala for the kids luffy just wants to turn into a clam#thriller bark is so funny.... 'worst arc' my ass.... it's funny as hell and then we get zosan angst. best thing ever#same with skypiea but there we got really nice relationships betwen characters and nolan x calgara homoeroticism for the ages#and LORE for the ages. not like the kuma incident won't be talked about in the history books but yeah#everyone calling absalom perv salom... yeah#sanji in that fucking penguin never gets old.... also HELLO LOLA#moira fought against kaido and lost akdjsksnks is that why he became a warlord? just like whitebeard defeated crocodile?? out of spite??#also what is the land of ice where moira got oars? he also mentioned it before too... i thot he was referring to ryuma so it was wano but n#the legend of the continent puller who built a nation of villains.... okay okay oars....#oars was killed 500 years ago.... ✍️✍️ this somehow feels important bc of its closeness to the void century etc#zombie luffy oars wanting sanjis food.... 🚬🚬🚬 of course.....#oars luffy maintaining his dream... yeah yeah. also namis outfits for this arc are so sickening.... i miss them already#the zombie generals being at absalom's wedding... thats so funny..#luffy oars is so funny aldjslsn just making himself a hat and steering his giant ship... of course#you guys think they are going to make sanji mad about the clear clear fruit in the opla or completely ignore it bc his reasoning is bad#like it makes sense with the wci backstory it does but that would be spoilers lmao. so its either he wants to peep on women or nothing#i love the greek chorus of the two zombies telling the audience how they are both as bad in that regard. amazing#did ryuma use french for his attack.... there is zosan everywhere for tho-[GUNSHOTS]#zombie ryuma's design is also cool as hell.... his blood is literally fire.... come on now....#also zoro says he wants to act like this fight didnt happen... is that why he says fuck all in wano to hiyori? damn. he said i put shame#in you and your country but i will keep it quiet bc you gave me a cool sword and fight and i am actually so honorable. thats him yeah...#zombie zoro and sanji remaining tfait being that they hate (love fighting) each other... there is zosa-[GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]#i forgot how much oars destroyed them... after enies lobby they seem untouchable but without their captain there... the gears are turning..#also btw i cannot believe im gonna get an answer about why the skypieans and the shandians have wings. thats insane#i am enjoying luffy oars so much it is so fun. trying to enjoy it bc i know i won't be laughing anymore once sabaody kicks in.... fuck me..#usopp and franky wanting to wait for luffy to beat oars down but zoro and sanji know... and they will KNOW soon enough....#i forgor kuma asked about ace to nami... what is going on. kuma coming from the warlord meeting too.... did he want to warn him??#he wanted to inform moria about balckbeard becoming a warlord omg here we go.... also moria being racist towards kuma hello???#and he strictly follows the government.... until here bc he lets luffy go.... christ.... he asks about ace bc he knew what blackbeard did..#reading one piece
13 notes · View notes
illmoraineakoi · 11 months ago
Text
What if the Pale King locked himself away in the Dream Realm to recreate what he did to the Hollow Knight? After the Vessel leaked and he realized that it most likely had capability enough to suffer, but far far too late to even hope to do anything to fix it. He was beyond the point of no return, there was nothing he could do to undo the Sealing. And even if he could, there were no other options that he could think of of what to do about the Blazing Light.
He had no choice but to keep the Vessel sealed. No choice but to watch his kingdom crumble. There was nothing he could do.
Nothing, but to seal himself away in a self-imposed punishment in the exact same way he imparted onto his only (known) living child.
A weak attempt to impose the same agony onto himself as he forced onto them.
And should the people of his kingdom stop worshiping him and forget he exists, dwindling his power and life to a pathetic end?
Well...
Perhaps that might've been for the best.
57 notes · View notes
tabbyrocks · 1 year ago
Text
one of my favorite "out of the norm for fanon monoma" monoma headcannons is that he CANNOT flirt. at all.
a lot of people look at sly or cocky characters as absolute rizz gods which is fair most the time but we never actually see monoma flirt with anyone.
I think he knows how to be mean/annoying to an extraordinary level but just cannot flirt or give good compliments for the life of him.
my best canon example of this is that one time kendo was getting ready for that beauty pageant and monoma saw her and basically was like "lmao you actually look nice for someone who's so violent" (he had to verbally clarify that that was a compliment)
i also think he can't handle being flirted with or being given compliments. mostly because i like the idea of this asshole who is normally really smart with his words go like "uuhhh emr uhm errm erm uh ahahah uhhhh thanks hhhhahhahahahahhah uhhmmmm" but also because he probably doesn't get genuinely complimented a lot.
93 notes · View notes
moongothic · 9 months ago
Note
On the train of your last ask, what are your thoughts on dragons sexuality?
Personally I think he’s Demi something (more attracted to personality than looks or gender)
Honestly because we don't know that much about the guy it's kind of hard for me to form an opinion, and if Crocodad Real then we're going to find out his orientation eventually (since we gotta find out if that was a contributing factor to the Dragodile Divorce (assuming they're divorced)) so I'm kind of okay with not forming any headcanons, since the headcanon could get thrown out the window
If anything, what interests me is how Dragon's orientation could impact the story-- like when I've discussed the Dragodile Divorce I have mainly focused on speculating how Crocodile would've felt about it, but how Dragon felt about that is interesting too
Because if he's straight then yeah that probably contributed to The Divorce, but how did Dragon feel about it? Learning that the love of his life is now happier than ever before after transitioning and being happy for him, while also losing the version of Crocodile that he fallen in love to begin with? No longer feeling thet draw to him because of the thing that has brought him so much joy and comfort? Knowing that even if they did take down the WG the family Dragon had hoped to have would never come to be, because their relationship would now end? And that it would be on some level his fault, because he's not attracted to Crocodile anymore?
Like even if Dragon took things well and the divorce happened "on good terms", it would've been sad for Dragon too.
But then there's a slightly juicier option, because what if Dragon was bi, but the Divorce happened under unpleasant circumstances (be it Dragon lashing out or things getting violent because he couldn't recognize Crocodile) and he didn't figure it out until it was too late?
Because you'd still have Dragon going through some if not all of those previously mentioned feelings, of having to come to terms with the version of his significant other whom he had fallen in love with no longer existed, the family had pictured in his mind would never become a thing, that those things were be kind of his fault and that he had hurt Crocodile deeply in the process. But then he'd be looking at some news article of Crocodile's most recent heroic stunt, seeing his handsome face with that usual, unbothered expression, and realizing he still loved him? That he still wanted to be with him, wished they were together, even now that Crocodile was a far more handsome man than he was? And then the realization that he's bi hitting him like a fucking truck But it's too late. The divorce already happened. He already hurt Crocodile too deeply. Knowing Croc, he had probably already moved on. There was no fixing it, the relationship was over. At least for now, trying to go see Croc could be dangerous due to the WG and not wanting to risk the WG finding out about them and The Kid and Croc would probably be furious if Dragon even risked that at this point, after what he had done. Oh, and then Crocodile killed thousands of innocent people attempting to usurp a country by manufacturing a civil war. Something Dragon can't forgive. (Not to mention, hearing he had been taken down by their own son... Oof)
But what if despite all that, and not knowing the full circumstances behind what had happened (like the fact that Crocodile didn't know who the hell Luffy was), Dragon still loved Crocodile? What then?
Tumblr media
#Moon posting#Asks#Dragodile#OP Meta#Answering an unusual amount of asks today because 1) Compensating for being AFK for a while and#2) The Tumblr News are deeply fucking upsetting and I need something to lighten my mood desperately ngl#So clearing my ask box it is wheeeee#Sorry this is a little incoherent lmao#Something about Dragon looking at Crocodile and being like ''why the fuck are you more handsome than me'' cracks me up okay#When your transgender husband gives you gender envy#I just love the story telling potential bi Dragon would give us because like. Yeah if they're straight then the relationship is joever#But if he was bi then there's that theoretical possibility they could maybe reconcile and get back together#And the fucking drama? The possibilities? I'm so here for that man give it to me#Luffy and/or Ivankov telling Dragon to get over himself and admit that he still loves Crocodile and wants to be with him? Gimme#Dragon taking a deadly blow to protect Crocodile because he doesn't want to lose him again? It's a trope for a reason#OR Dragon craddling a dying Crocodile begging him not to die because he still loves him? Oh yes#Crocodile trying to sneak away while everyone celebrates the destruction of the World Government#And Dragon showing up like ''I don't wanna lose you again pls don't go ;_;''#And Croc telling him to either piss off OR to hurry up and get on the ship so they can leave before Luffy finds out#I am. Obsessed. Dragodile Retirement Romance let's fucking go#THE POSSIBILITIES MAN. Like I don't wanna get my hopes up because I doubt we'll get Canon Gay Dragodile BUT IT COULD BE SO GOOD
22 notes · View notes
nomairuins · 3 months ago
Text
i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
8 notes · View notes
cartoonghosts · 3 months ago
Text
genuinely people need to tag triggers. Love all the 'not my responsibility to tag stuff the way you want it' shit but that is for fandom and weird kinks and whatever not LITERAL PICTURES OF SELF HARM AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE like I'd be fine if it was tagged 'tw blood' (which I don't have blocked!! I'd still be triggered as fuck but hey you tried idc) but when you don't tag it at all I have to assume you are actually trying to hurt someone. Yeah I block immediately but thst doesn't change the fact that I'm triggered and the sh urges are back. This is true for text posts too, although I try to block words (I genuinely hate it so deeply when people sidestep other people's word blocks with 'sewerslide' or button mash numbers in the word like. I am going to fucking kill you. 'Oh noo it's triggering to me uwu' bitch you made me actively suicidal for the first time in months. Fucking die. Don't post that shit if using the actual words triggers you). You ABSOLUTELY ARE responsible for what you put out into the words. People saying 'oh ur not responsible for other peoples triggers and emotions' are genuinely heartless and have never felt human empathy. You ain't responsible for how I react to your content, but you NEED to try your best to give people the bare minimum of warnings when you post triggering shit. Look at ur vent post and be like 'hey I'm gonna tag this as tw vent/ tw si' and you genuinely might save someone's life. Probably not but the chance should be enough for you to care and if it isn't, block me. Don't argue, just block me now.
#tw suicide mention#tw sui ideation#tw vent#Tw self harm#Tw sh#I'm just pissed as fuck#And since I'm in a bad mood I want to fucking kill someone violently#I'm trying to find some cute art on tumblr to look at and I get images of people's gaping bloody injuries#And someone talking about viscerally wanting to die#Because when I like and support and reblog mental health discussion and support#Tumblr algorithm then finds me a post tagged with like#Mental health#(Speaking of:)#tw mental health#Or depression#And yeah I get how it can be really nice to vent online and scream into the void I do it myself a ton#But if you aren't in the mental place to tag shit and do the bare minimum to be kind to others#Just save it as a draft#Come back 10 minutes later and add tws#It is genuinely so easy to not hurt people#Why the fuck would you choose to do it#What is wrong with you#Tbh this whole post is a lot more aggressive than I wanted to be but I'm really freaked out rn#And if I don't keep ranting I'm scared of what's gonna happen in general#I know I won't die and I really do believe thst I can keep myself safe for now but fuck it's hard and it would be easy if people were kind#And the worst thing is thst we are#I love people and I love how kind we are to others and I love how almost anyone is willing to be gentle with someone who needs it#So I know that this is a conscious decision to either remain ignorant to just to straight up hurt people#And that's so much worse than getting triggered#It's like I'm grieving someone who's still alive
8 notes · View notes
spacedlexi · 2 years ago
Text
thinking about clem vi and minnie
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
#cant stop thinking about them....the Drama of it all.....the Gay Drama of it all#SORRYYY but like.... vi and minnie only ending their relationship bc vi thought minnie died and couldnt save her and blamed herself.....#vi finding out minnie was traded off by marlon and did not actually die#and finding out shes working for the enemy and vi has to accept the fact that the Real minnie is gone#the way minnie basically called vi a coward implying there mightve been some tension in their relationship(right after re-meeting after 1yr#the weird tension and mental battle between clem and minnie bc they are like 2 sides of the same coin#(and clem is dating her ex and taking her family)#vi reassuring clem that none of this changes her feelings for her and will go to battle against minnie for their friends#vi either getting kidnapped by the delta (bc clem doesnt save her) and brainwashed by minnie to act against her friends and fight clem#vs her saving clem from minnie by shooting her with her own crossbow with no hesitation other than a plead to stop (still makes me scream)#vi not being able to leave minnie alone and injured#brainwashed vi getting blinded in the explosion#ep 4 minnie not hesitating to try to kill vi for tenn#clem and minnie fighting to the Death#minnie being the reason clem gets bit..one last fuck you#vi having to leave clem on the other side of the fence leading to clem getting bit#s4 didnt have to give us one of the gayest drama-iest side plots in a game but it did and i still cant get over it#hehe hehe hehe :) :) :) infested with brain worms#thank u twdg s4 for existing i love u#need to draw more clem/vi/minnie tension#and also clem and minnie fighting i love when they fight#started replaying s4 but im taking it sooooooo sllooowwwlllyy i cant wait to get to ep3 this shit was written specifically for me#it speaks#twdg
92 notes · View notes
dykeferatu · 4 months ago
Text
i was discussing this with luke earlier but i think it's kind of funny how at the moment taeho is more pathetic than magpie has ever been.
7 notes · View notes
tariah23 · 6 months ago
Text
Noooo…… first it’s Yuuta and Shoko, now they’re yo-yoing back around to Megumi.
Tumblr media
#no they’re bashing megumi even more than ever now…. sometimes some characters aren’t built for all of THIS AND ITS OKAY#he’s forever traumatized bro he just lost his sister in front of his eyes and his body was the one that killed her#same situation with Gojo who took care of his sister and he from when they was toddlers and up#megumi doesn’t want to live anymore and yuuji has already tried getting through to him he’s completely broken and even if he’s saved megumi#might not ever be the same#I feel like fans keep on forgetting that these are kids going through all of this stuff that even some of the hardest adults wouldn’t be#able to handle#they bash him but a lot of these same ppl forget what happened to getou and love him unconditionally#they’d say “’well other characters have lost a lot as well and they’re still trying!’ and I just have to#restate that again; simply not every character is built like some hard boiled shounen badass jjk is not the usual shounen that a lot of#fans still refuse to see tbh like it’s kind of built different 🗿#it’s core genres are literally horror/psychological horror like no one if gonna be bouncing back like Naruto bro#and in Naruto’s case he never got to see anyone precious to him die in front of him#who knows what Naruto would’ve went through if sasuke was killed in front of him#but then again#Naruto was already a crazy ass#he vowed to kill sasuke and die with him so nvm#but megumi ISNT crazy like that that’s the difference ajsjsjsj#he’s always been one of the more rational characters amongst his peers#he’s so normal!!! everyone else is fucked up or got larger personalities than he does#maybe ppl are pissed off at the fact that megumi simply isn’t fighting back… it’s frustrating but he’s in pain bro#I don’t see him making it out alive at all either if I’m being real#Yuuji might be one of the only characters to survive at this rate I doubt Yuuta is even going to pull through after the techniques 5 min#are up either…#rambling#the point it…… as sad as it may sound all of the characters fighting so hard now are doing so because they simply have to#Sukuna is literally a calamity and these are the only characters left who will even stand any chance against such a great entity#they don’t have much of a choice man#Gojo tried to prepare his students for the future so that they’ll be strong enough to fight back anything together. not alone#Everyone is doing what they can now
18 notes · View notes
lottieurl · 2 years ago
Text
me realizing some people were emotionally hit by the twist that it's a dream sequence while i was watching it the whole time absolutely sure it wasn't real but still worried it might be and thinking about how the true horror was shauna being all touchy feely towards the baby
Tumblr media
51 notes · View notes
clowneryandshenanegans · 4 months ago
Text
Cmon man you were like two inches to the right off dude
6 notes · View notes
hauntedwoman · 7 months ago
Text
as badly as i want to avoid my mom she is making it extremely difficult
#i feel really bad that im so angry at her and she doesnt even know it#but my entire living situation is making me miserable right now and its her fault#she charges me $50 in rent every week and shes increasing it to $125 a week at the end of the month#the only reason this is happening is because she FORCED ME to drop out and the only other alternative was that i had to work full time + pa#rent.............. but like at my job even if im working 40 hrs a week ill only be making abt $900 a month#so i will barely have anything leftover for myself after rent#and i cannot get a second job bc i frankly can not handle it at all + what hours would i even work#and my mom refuses to understand that the reason i had to drop out is bc i am so depressed and so suicidal and i just dont want to live#she doesnt acknowledge that im disabled and severely mentally ill#every time i try to talk about my mental health she treats me like im such a burden to her even though i literally never tell her anything#personal anymore bc she just doesnt listen or care#ALSO she FORCED ME to move across the country and transfer schools when i really did not want (hence why i flunked all of my classes bc i d#not care) but like. everything thats wrong in my life rn is bc i do not want ot live where im living and theres no way for me to go back to#texas and also i dont rly wanna live w my dad either#but anyways. this whole situation would be better if my mom was using me paying rent as an actual lesson in adult respinsibility#but it's really just a punishment because i cant function the way she wants me to#and im over it#so fucking over it why am i such a pussy why cant i just die
7 notes · View notes
chalupaconspiracy · 6 days ago
Text
.
#vent post#suicide tw#my go to response to everything can not be “i want to die.” like great#its not like I actually want to or will follow through on it but fuck.#years worth of character growth and here I am back in fucking a middle school mindset.#like what even is the fucking point.#why am i trying to hard for people wuo do not care.#i feel so stupid.#and like I dont know what to do.#i tried to fix things and it just made them worse.#and i'm still in so much pain!!!!!!!!#just the funky little cherry on goddamned top.#its almost worse than highschool because at least then I didnt know what i was missing yet. and i didnt hurt all the time.#i could sleep for a day straight.#what is the point of getting up each day#being in more pain#and not able to find anything fun.#and being just a massive wet blanket to all my friends. for zero reason.#and then it just isolates me further.#and how stupid and petty and self fucking pitying it all is. like either get over it#have a massive spiral and get ACTUALLY in a dangerous situation#or just continue to sit and feel miserable for no reason and with no resolution.#like im not good at my job right now#im barely keeping my head above water.#like im so fucking done.#i dont know what to do or where to turn.#and im terrified that im going to fully dislocate my spine and be paralyzed.#it should not be floppy!!! it should not look like a patient with whiplash!#there is nothing to prevent it from moving out of place#so i just go about my life and hope that looking over my shoulder doesnt send me to the hospital.
2 notes · View notes