#eh oh well its funny

[shoulda-been-a-redhead]

https://pin.it/3UtpQo3

LOL 

<iframe src="https://assets.pinterest.com/ext/embed.html?id=1759287346189554" height="527" width="450" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" ></iframe>

[ratatatastic]

cats attending a yacht party as if they werent at booze garden at 1am the same day is so incredibly-

also matthew MATTHEW THAT SHIRT. THAT SHIRTTTTT. WHAT IS THAT.

6.29.24 (x)

[clockworkreapers]

extra tftgs stuff i have on hand that i either like or am working on for later...

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i'm the first to admit i'm doing a bad job of not liveblogging, but i gotta be nogblogging

[tetsuooooooooooo]

was walking to punch practice and came across a fancy old hag yelling literally across a whole street at a small girl trying to work a parking meter all "oh thats what i get when i want to get some use outta you, cant do a simplest damn thing"

and in my head i was like if i wasnt so sleepy and had even a smidgen more of context here i would beat you to death with my bare hands(⁠ノ⁠^⁠_⁠^⁠)⁠ノ✨unfortunately im late to "beat you to death with my bare hands" class so unfortunately i dont get my revenge fantasy come true and you get to live enjoy your lucky day💕

[bionic-penis]

Damn its that time of the year again

[gemharvest]

(rdj meme format) This happened to me again.

Having to go back and edit wording slightly in this fic to make sure its clear that it takes place before romantic PicoGF.. ☹️

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

Draco had got barely halfway across the Entrance Hall when it happened. He felt the Trip Jinx round his ankles before he saw his assailants, and he went sprawling hard onto the cold stone floor, the wind knocked out of him, his wand spinning away to clatter out of sight and well out of reach. He lay on his front, coughing and gasping with ugly laughter ringing in his ears.

"Nasty tumble, there Malfoy," jeered someone behind him. "You want to mind where you're going, or you could hurt yourself."

Draco pushed up onto his hands and knees, still trying to get his breath. There was no way he could reach his wand before they jinxed him again; he hadn't even seen where it landed. He never was any good at muggle duelling. He got one leg under him, bracing himself to be knocked flat again, and heard a shout from above him.

"Protego!"

The jinx bounced off the Shield, and Draco got to his feet under its protection. Harry Potter was striding down the marble staircase toward them looking like a thunderstorm. Halfway along he stooped and picked up Draco's wand. He hardly glanced at Draco as he passed him and marched up to the little knot of seventh years picking themselves up from where they'd been hit by the rebounding jinx.

"Think it's funny to knock people down, do you, McLaggen?" snarled Potter, glaring up at the biggest of the lot.

"Oh don't get your wand in a knot, Potter. It's only Malfoy," said McLaggen in the sort of tone you might use to say 'It's only a slug.' "No love lost there, eh?"

"It doesn't matter who it is! We're not doing things like that anymore," Potter said furiously. "We just got done with a fucking war, and you want to keep fighting? You lot want to keep it going just for fun? Well, I don't, and I better not see you do that again! Now clear off! Twenty points from Gryffindor!"

"You can't--"

"Too fucking right I can! Now get back to your common room!" And, perhaps because Potter was Head Boy, perhaps because he looked like he could spit nails, or perhaps simply because he was Harry Potter, they did clear off. Potter watched them go, then turned to Draco. He still looked quite angry, but he was clearly trying to gather himself, "You okay?"

Draco had grazed his palms rather badly from throwing his hands out when he landed; his left wrist and forefinger were throbbing mightily, and his chest still ached, but he shrugged, "Fine."

Potter grabbed his sleeve and pulled Draco toward him to inspect his injuries, "Liar. You should go to the hospital wing and get that sorted out."

"I'll live," said Draco, but he didn't withdraw.

Potter frowned at him, chewed his lip. "I heal it for you if you'd rather," he offered after a moment.

"If nothing else will please you."

Potter pointed his wand at Draco's bleeding hands, "Episkey." The scrapes vanished, and Draco felt the spell heal his sprained wrist and finger as well. Potter pressed something into Draco's hands. Draco's wand. Draco had already forgotten he'd picked it up.

______

Excerpt from my new fic Queen of the Weeds! Drarry, Rated E, 60K. This is a coming of age story about figuring out who you're going to be and what you're going to do after your life very publicly falls apart. Draco and Harry become friends and more after they both return to Hogwarts for their 8th year after the war.

This fic is not a WIP, it is complete. I will be posting new chapters on Sundays and Thursdays until the whole thing is up.

Also gratitude to Allie @oflights from whom I got the poem that I took the title from.

Edit: This fic is now completely posted! You can read all 10 chapters now now now! I hope you enjoy reading it, because it was such a genuine pleasure to write, and I'm really going to miss working on it! Get the whole story here on AO3!

[kazumist]

Hi its my first time requesting so idk if im doing this right, after i saw that s fire is issuing a pre order for a hoshina figure, and that figure made him look absolutely stunning, his biceps,abs, thighs, the lines are just impeccable, so i would like to request hoshina x fem!reader, they are a couple and the reader bought the figure and was unpacking it, then hoshina saw it… what would be his reaction??? I really love your writing btw and it would be cool if the reader just loves buying hoshina’s merch, thankyou !

✩ — includes: hoshina x f!reader (but no fem terms actually used uh). fluff. cw: cutter mentioned (reader opens up a package). wc: 512. reblogs and feedback are much appreciated !!

✩ — note: took me a bit of a while sorry TT but here you go!!

hoshina didn’t expect anything when he opened the door and received the package that the delivery man gave him.

“love, did my delivery arrive yet?” you asked him, calling him out from the kitchen since you were busy preparing lunch. it was your turn today—soshiro’s turn to cook would be tomorrow. “oh, this was yours?” he says, entering the kitchen area.

with a playful eyeroll, you washed your hands and went to see the package. the food was still busy cooking by itself so it’s safe to leave it for a moment. “who else would it be, silly?” you said, grabbing a cutter to open it up. hoshina would be lying if he said that he wasn’t curious. he wonders what piqued your interest this time since it’s been a while since you last ordered something online.

he had a few options—it could be something funny that you just wanted to try. or perhaps something useful that will help with your current lifestyle. it could be anything, really. but hoshina stared blankly when you opened the box.

soshiro never expected for you to buy a figurine of him of all things.

“oh my god, it looks perfect!” you squealed, completely forgetting about the man beside you. he looks at you and the figurine back and forth, trying to comprehend the fact that you actually did get a figurine of him. it was like those superhero figurines that you’d see in toy stores—something that parents would buy for their kids.

and soshiro would be lying if he said that this doesn’t make him sulk, even just a little bit.

“eh? is that me?” he asks dumbfoundedly.

you didn’t hear him at first; he was too excited to open and let the figurine out of the box. “hm? oh, yeah! it’s you, it looks so good, right?” you asked him, carefully pulling out the figurine now. he could feel a small vein on his head, but he took a deep breath to keep his composure. you looked so happy right now; why would he ruin it? 

but he didn’t really expect that you’d buy it. especially when you actually have him by your side.

hoshina goes behind you and gives you a backhug as he rests his chin on your shoulder, peering over to inspect the figurine more. “it looks real nice, but i didn’t expect you to buy something like this,” he says a bit lazily. “why? it’s you.” you turned your head to look at him with a pout.

“that’s exactly it. it’s me, and i’m right here.” he replies with a pout as well. you deadpan at him, “don’t tell me you’re jealous of a literal figurine of yourself, soshiro.”

“so what? i don’t see why you have to buy this little thing when you have the real deal right here.”

“oh, you mean the real deal that has his arms wrapped around me right now?” you giggle.

“is there any other man that goes by hoshina soshiro in this world? get rid of it.”

“you’re so petty—and no, i won’t!”

[the-kr8tor]

Okay, but like, what about Hobie x a reader who's like, super resilient? As in resistant to physical dmg. Like idk how to word it, but someone who like, accidentally chops of half her finger then is like, "Oh no, I'm fine :)" then puts rubbing alcohol on it. And he's just like freaking out like there's so much blood on the counter?? Idk, I just thought it'd be funny because I'm kinda like that irl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you so much for requesting!! I loved writing it ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Word count: 1.2k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw blood, cw injury, cw food mentions, established relationship, FLUFF.

A/N: a bit late for another Halloween fic lol it's still Halloween somewhere right? (Wrong)

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

The cinnamon smelling cookies in the oven makes your stomach grumble. With your hands occupied with the pumpkin carving knives, you pout at the rumbling feeling. You and Hobie are speedily carving out pumpkins together during Halloween night. You would've done it earlier on your own but you wanted to carve them together with Hobie. Unfortunately, Goblin doesn't care about the holiday despite his pumpkin shaped bombs.

So you're carving away, chipping at the face you've doodled that Hobie lovingly told you that it looks eerily like you. Which earned him a face full of pumpkin guts thrown at him.

Hobie senses your hunger, and how you're carving away without care. “Love, it's not a competition.”

“I know, but the trick or treaters will be here any minute!” You huff, poking out a finished ‘eye’ in your pumpkin. One down, a few more shapes to go. “Besides, that movie we watched the other day fucked me up, I don't want to be murdered by a pumpkin demon for not having a jack o’ lantern on our doorstep.”

He chuckles, going around the counter and abandoning his own half finished pumpkin. “The little demon won't come ‘ere knowin’ that ‘m over ‘ere, lovie.” You give him a look as he slides his arms around your middle, chin perched on your shoulder as he rubs his chin on you lovingly. “‘sides, this was supposed to be fun, remember?” Pecking your cheek, you lean closer as he smothers your jaw in warm kisses. Who needs a chimney when you've got your walking furnace right beside you? “Slow down for me, yeah?” Whispering lowly in your ear that sends goosebumps on your arms, he rubs them away with an even warmer hand before he reluctantly moves away to check on the cookies.

“Yeah,” you say with a lovestruck smile, turning around to see Hobie bending down while cracking open the hot oven and shutting it off. “You're right, this is fun, Hobie.” You take the opportunity to ogle him with a tilt of your head. He senses your eyes on his behind of course, prompting him to quickly look over his shoulder, catching you mid turn as you pretend you weren't eyeing him down.

Hobie slides himself next to you on the counter, elbow placed on the cold tiles, chin resting on his palm with a smirk on his pretty lips. “Saw somethin' you like?”

You glance at him, trying to tamp down your laughter. “Well, your jack o' lantern isn't done yet, I don't like that.”

Hobie was about to steal a kiss right on your smug lips but the doorbell ringing and the unmistakable chime of children outside interrupts him. “Tight arse.” He says against your pursed lips before walking away to grab the bowl of candy on the table.

“Flat ass.” You call after him as he makes his way to the front door. He chuckles as he opens it, and the trick or treaters’ voices echoes inside.

Shaking your head with a grin, you continue to chip away at the pumpkin, following the zig zagged line of its serrated smile. As you chop and cut, you hear Hobie giving out candies.

“Nice costume, little man.” He says, and you're sure he's giving the kid a full sized chocolate bar based on the lilt of his tone. “Spider-Man himself would be jealous, eh?”

You wanted to see what the said costume looks like, so with a quick peek while you're cutting out the last bits of pumpkin, you smile at the kid's homemade costume. It's even complete with Hobie's signature spikes and leather vest. Your smile falters as you feel something warm trickle from the pads of your thumb, looking down, you see crimson ebb from your fingertip down into the jack o’ lantern’s grin.

“Oh.”

Hobie's senses tingle as he shuts the door with a quick farewell to the kid. Goosebumps rise on his nape, head blaring alarms in his ears. Turning around to see what his senses are pointing at, he almost drops the bowl of candy when he sees your blood flowing from your hand, pooling down on the white countertops.

“Shit, love.” He speed walks towards you, hands outstretched to cradle your bleeding finger. “What happened?”

“I nicked myself, I'm fine.” The amount of red flowing out from the cut says otherwise. “I just need to wash it.”

“Fuck, you're bleedin’ a lot.” He curses under his breath as he helps you towards the kitchen sink, opening the faucet to let the warm water wash the crimson away. “You alright? How do you feel?” The sink water quickly blends in with your blood as it goes down the drain.

“I'm fine—” Hobie's already grabbing a clean towel from the rack, “Hobie—” he's wrapping it around your finger, watching the blood stain the white cloth. “Don't worry, I'm really fine.”

“It won't stop.” His eyes widen at how fast the red overtakes the pristine cloth. “Shit,” he wraps it tighter, and you don't even hiss or groan. Flicking his worried eyes at you, he sees you shrug at him. “You don't feel that?”

“I told you, I'm fine.”

“Bein' fine and not feelin’ any pain ain't the same. What if you nicked a nerve or some shit?”

“I don't think so,” you take a peek at the now drenched cloth. “Can you grab me the alcohol, please?” You say, awfully calm about the blood you're quickly losing.

“Alcohol?!” He scoffs out, guiding you down on the dining chair, just in case you faint. “Love, that won't help the bleedin’, It'll hurt you more.”

You bat your lashes at him, smiling as if you're not bleeding profusely. “Please?”

He sighs, remembering the med kit you have in your cabinet for him whenever he comes home with various wounds after a harsh patrol. “No, I'll get a proper disinfectant.”

“But, alcohol works best on me—”

“No,” he chuckles nervously, feeling your warm crimson on his palms. “If this doesn't stop in a minute, ‘m bringin’ you to hospital.”

“It's just a cut, I need alcohol, that's all.”

Hobie stands up, hands on his hips. It's his turn to take care of you, no matter how stubborn you are. “Stay ‘ere, if you feel faint yell for me, yeah?”

You huff in your seat, surrendering to his coddling. “Okay,” he enters your bathroom, knowing what he's already rifling through. “I don't need stitches, Hobie!”

“If you keep bein' like this, I'll stitch you up.”

“Okay, doctor Frankenstein!” You blink away the sudden dizziness and black dots dancing in your vision. “Hey, Hobie.”

“Yeah?” He makes his way back to you with the med kit, senses blaring at him.

“I feel a bit light headed actually—” You fall forward, eyes rolling on the back of your head.

“Love—!” He catches you in time. Putting his arms around you to carry you in a bridal hold. Even with his thudding heart and heavy worry, he calmly brings you towards the front door. As he opens it, he's greeted by a group of costumed children, their screams of terror at your bloodied hand almost freezes him in place. “Shit, it's not—!” They run away from the house, still screaming in horror. “Damn it.”

As he carries you towards the car, he'll make sure you'll never hear the end of his teasing after you've come too and hopefully better after some treatment.

[ratatatastic]

do you write fic on ao3?

unfortunately for everyone involved i do!

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

Danny’s parents want to kill him and he’s like “f in the chat y’all dinner boutta be so awkward tonight smh”

Ok so I know everyone loves the angsty headcannons where Danny is terrified of his parents cuz they wanna kill him but we’ve had that hot take since 2005 I’m here for a source material revival, the much more entertaining “Danny’s parents want to kill him and he actively doesn’t give a fuck”

CUZ UH, IM REWATCHING THE FIRST SEASON AND I FORGOT HOW GENUINELY BLASÉ HE IS ABOUT MADDIE AND JACK TRYING TO GET HIS ASS ITS SO FUNNY.

Like mom holding a literal ghost gun to his head: eh kinda unphased he even has time to quip, his parents say they wanna tear em to pieces: meh see u guys at dinner, LIKE OUR GUY IS SO UNPHASED HE THINKS THIS SHIT IS FUNNY! (s1 ep. 14 public enemy)

And he’s unphased despite knowing his parents tech works and knowing that his mother is actually a good shot. So like I love angst Danny and y’all should keep up the good work but where is my s1 Danny ‘COULDN’T give less of a fuck about his parents’ Fenton representation?

Cuz think of this, for your DPXDC AU consideration, Danny would fit in so well with the bat gang if only because they could try to stab, shoot, capture, brainwash, and stalk him and he’d be like “oh cool villain of the week shit? Nice, what’re we having for lunch.” He. Wouldn’t. Flinch.

[dilvuc]

❝WHEN THEY WEAR YOUR CLOTHES❞

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: fluff

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗: gender neutral

𝖙𝖎𝖙𝖑𝖊: when they wear your clothes

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: second years x gn!reader (excluding housewarens)

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌: none

𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: when they wear your clothes

╰┈➤ RUGGIE

“That's odd. I thought I put my cleaned shirt here. Where is it…?” you scratch the back of your head as you look around your room for your shirt. however they were nowhere to be found. “Did I misplace it…?”

you heard whistling passing by your bedroom. you assume that it was ruggie carrying a basket of laundry to leona's room. you peek outside your room and you were correct, it was ruggie. however, there's something different about him.

he's wearing your shirt! how are you not surprised? he always took your stuff. you called for the male, “Ruggie…”

“Hm? Yes?” ruggie questioned when he heard you calling his name. “Do you need anything?”

“...You know exactly what I need.” you deadpanned. yes, he knows exactly what you need. ruggie looks away, “I have no idea what you're talking about~”

“Do you always need to steal my stuff?” you sweatdropped.

“Shishishi~ Finder keeper~” ruggie snickered. you sighed, knowing that you can't stop him from stealing from you. you are dating after all. the shirt looks cute on him, too.

╰┈➤ JADE

“Ah…where is it?” you questioned while looking under your bed. you were looking for the blazer of your dorm uniform, but they were nowhere to be found. “What the hell? I'm sure it didn't move on its own.”

while you were searching for your blazer, floyd walked by your room and spotted you looking under the bed. the teal haired male slowly sneaks behind you and taps you on your shoulder, causing you to jump.

“Hehehehe~ Gotcha~” floyd grinned. you huffed, “What the fuck, Floyd.”

“Whatcha looking for?”

“My blazer. I put it in the exact spot.” you pointed to your desk before going back to search for your blazer.

“Ah…I think I saw Jade wearing it.” floyd said, pausing your search. you accidentally hit your head in your bed and turned to the teal haired male, “Eh? What did you say? Jade has it?”

“Yeah. That blazer couldn't fit him. It was too big,”floyd stated.

“Ara, ara~ You noticed.” jade peek in your bedroom, wearing your blazer on his person. he stepped into your room to reveal the full view of himself to you. “I just thought it be funny to see how you react to find out about your missing blazer~”

“Give it back—” you wanted to get it back, but now that you took a closer look at it, it looks cute on him, “On second thought, keep wearing it…”

“Oh? Did you find it cute on me?” jade chuckled. you blushed and looked away.

“Ew…did he turn you on?” floyd cringed.

“Shut up…”

╰┈➤ FLOYD

every time. every freaking time, he wears your clothes without permission. why? it all happened last week when he tried on your clothes. when you find him wearing your hoodie, you don't bother telling him to take it off. instead, you called him cute which led him to keep taking your clothes just to be called cute again.

“You really took it personally…” you sweatdropped when you noticed floyd wearing your oversized night shirt with shorts underneath.

“Well? Well?” floyd asked, waiting for you to call him cute. you chuckled, rubbing the back of your neck, “You look cute.”

“I know, right~ I'm cuter than anyone?” floyd beamed.

“Yes, way cuter.”

hearing you called him cute put a huge smile on his face. how the fuck can someone like floyd be so fucking cute? you can't handle this much cuteness.

╰┈➤ JAMIL

“Huh…? Did I get it mixed up with other student clothes again?” you asked yourself while holding up a hoodie that is most definitely not yours. it was jamil's hoodie. he must've accidentally taken your hoodie. “This is Jamil. Maybe I should give it back to him…”

you folded up the hoodie and went to jamil’s room then knocked on the door. the tan skinned male responses to the knock, allowing you to come in.

“Uh, sorry for interrupting. But…I wanted to let you know that you mistook my hoodie as yours—” you paused mid-sentence when you realized that Jamil was being comfortable in your hoodie.

“Did I…? I don't think I did.” jamil tilted his head fiddling with the strings on your hoodie. “I think it's fine…”

“You sneaky snake…” you blushed while clutching on your heart. jamil smirked, knowing that he won. you'll get him next time.

╰┈➤ SILVER

your hoodie was missing. you don't remember wearing it until fall. how is it gone now? did someone steal it? did you move it? did you leave it somewhere? so many questions going on in your head and you don't know where to look—

“Are you looking for your hoodie?” you jumped when you spotted lilia hanging upside down on your ceiling. you always hated when he did that. lilia chuckled, “Why don't you check on Silver and see?”

“Silver…?” you tilted your head.

just as lilia says, you went to check on silver. there better be a good explanation for this. you entered silver’s room without knocking, but surely silver wouldn't mind since he's always be sleeping. “Silver…?”

you noticed the silver haired male sleeping in bed wearing your hoodie, “Ah…So that's where my hoodie was…Cute…”

you quietly grabbed your phone and took a picture of your silver haired boyfriend and posted it on magicam.

rules

twst masterlist

╰┈➤ author note: please note that this is a slow update. i will still accept your request, but it will take a while since i'll be working on my books on wattpad. if you wish to read those books, here's my wattpad account.

[brazilsho]

Request idea: JD meets a feisty country fem troll and literally is like “WOW OK, 👀 tough lady” and immediately thinks he’s got the rizz to win her over but gets humbled so fast, so now he’s just this simp chasing a country girlboss

━ FEISTY LADY

summary; the request <3.

notes; NAH I love this idea smsm that I HAD to immediately do this BC WHAT?!?! I generously don’t know what I’m writing ;-; AND ITS SO SHORT IM SO SORRY :‘)

side note; I didn’t actually mentioned that you are a county troll, sorry ‼️ and it’s cringe asf :‘)

When John first met you, he immediately knew you weren’t one to play with.

You where someone that didn’t let herself be fooled around and knows what she’s doing if someone would try something.

John though, found your toughness and fearlessness attractive in his words and wanted to try actually MANY times to either flirt with you or even interact with you.

Well actually he never tried it, he only had many scenarios about how he could talk to you and get your interests into talking to him but eh.. no.

Each time John saw you around, he wants to speak to you but you where a feisty one and didn’t really let anyone know you well, unless your someone you like. (*cough*)

You knew though by the way John looks at you always, that he wanted to speak to you, but you knew that he wouldn’t do it which makes you chuckle always.

Just like today again, John just casually saw you being the lady you are and his mind immediately went to the thought of flirting with you to get your attention and somehow his ego was that high today that he really decided to do it.

The moment though when he was close to you and you took notice of his approach, he was a humbling mess.

Trying so desperately to get a word out of his mouth while you just looked confused as hell on what’s wrong with him, until..

"Hey sweet cheek, are you a toaster? Because you’re even to hot for it to handle"

Oh dear.. you should see his face the moment he said that.. cheeks practically crimson red and him mumbling on and on about that he didn’t mean it.

You though, thought it was funny seeing him like this and actually even if his rizz wasn’t the best, you chuckled a little as you moved closer to him just a little,

"Nice try, handsome"

That’s all you said, playfully placing his googles over his eyes and moved away, but turning your hove over to see him now on the floor, practically giggling and simping over the fact that you even acknowledged him..

© brazilsho ─ 2023. works i post are not allowed to be translated, stolen, copied, or reposted on other platforms.

[matchadobo]

hi idk if this is an odd request but could you write a shanks x reader where she uses her safeword bc she’s starting to feel bad and he how he comforts her after <3 tysm 🫶

SHANKS; safeword

wc: 834

warning/s: nsfw 🔞, p0rnp0rnp0rn, fluff in the end, afab reader, wrote this in one sitting whabshabah

you tried clawing at his chest as a sign to tell him to stop, but it seemed as if he took it as a compliment. your cunt felt so numb. you already came and you lost track how many times. shanks loves overstimulating you, that hazy look of lust in your eyes gets him going even more. but you love it too of course, it’s just that, it’s different now. he looks too feral, too hungry, too scary.

“what’s got you so quiet, princess? don’t give up on me now, yeah? you’re taking all of me so well.” he tucked a hair that was starting to stick on your forehead. “already tired, eh?” a smirk made its way to his lips, he loved what he saw. flushed face, parted, drooling lips, and the half-lidded look of sex in your eyes.

the view of him slowly losing himself by the warmth of your folds. it feels so sticky and wet and his cock was throbbing at the clench of your sopping crevice. he loved how red and used your core looked. he’d throw his head back and slick back his sweaty hair, brutally pounding into you. each thrust hitting your cervix that it started choking you.

“t-too much…” you meekly let out, but it was unintelligible to him. he was too lost in the ecstasy of you. your lower half was aching by the minute, like it was going to bleed because of his pace and size.

“s-shanks too much…!” you tried a little louder this time. you couldn’t bellow it out clearly though, your stomach was so heavy. yet he still couldn’t hear it. soon enough, tears formed in your eyes, precariously cascading down your cheeks.

“roses.”

it only took the wetness of your cheeks and the weak sobs of the safeword for the emperor to stop. that flower that filled the fields on where he met you made him remember how delicate you are and how you should be treated. he stiffened up immediately, taking his hand off your throat. his hand immediately clutched your cheek, thumbs wiping off the tears. “oh fuck- baby, sweetheart i’m so sorry.” he pulled you up into his embracd, the look in his eyes much kinder this time. your voice sobering him up instantly. “d-did i squeeze your throat too much? did i bite too hard? t-tell me.”

“are you- where does it hurt?” he pulled away, searching for any noticeable sign of hurt on your body and eyes. he was still in you though, he figured it’d hurt more if he pulled out right away.

“just my cunt that you abused.” you sarcastically remarked, laughing meekly through teary eyes.

“jesus, i’m so sorry. i was- i'm fucking stupid. you just felt so good, and i’m so tired, and i needed you. i’m just- sorry i went too far, darling.” he panicked. suddenly, the big, scary emperor was now pouting before you. “y-yeah, let’s stop here.” he lied you down, slowly pulling out while carefully watching if your face contorted in any pain.

aaand the goofy shanks you fell in love to was now back, not that cunt hungry motherfucker earlier (but that works too, sometimes 😝). he soon ran a cold bath for you, cleaning you up. he distracted you with his funny stories, reveling on how you smile and how your cries fade away.

he’d usually take you out by the deck, let you clung on his arm to help you walk. you two’d settle by the edge of the ship, he’ll grab a pillow for you to sit on while your feet hang loosely above the flowing current, and he’d have a protective arm around your waist. the comforting blues and the salty air would relax the both of you, he’d place his chin on your shoulders and revel in your fragrant body wash and natural scent.

“i’m really sorry, love.” he mumbled, bashfully looking down. “have i really not hurt you?” the look of pure concern in his ruby eyes made you remember why you fell in love with him again.

“just a little but, that’s why we have a safe word, right? i understand, love. don’t worry about it.” you tuck a hair hanging by the side of his face on his ear.

“i-i’ll take you to hongo later.”

you couldn’t help but play it off with a nod as your fingers softly brush by his scarred cheek. during the visit with hongo, shanks had his head hung low with his hand behind him sheepishly when hongo confirmed that you were just overfucked and you were totally fine.

so i got sick again fml buuuut to the person who requested this, i aM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG LMFAO 🥺 like i said, i don't want to release shit half-baked and tonight was the only night i felt the mood with this man 😏 sooo i hope this makes you happy 😩 even tho it's so short!!

[msfandomsblog]

Alastor x fem!ballerina-reader

This is my first alastor x reader fic! I don't know how many parts imma make but it will be somewhat a slow burn.

Also this is mostly your backstory

Hope you enjoy!

warnings: use of y/n, being laughed at, implied death, blood, readers insane like Al, guns, suicide, kinda short anddddddd yeah

In life you were one of the greatest pointe dancer in the world. In death, eh, not so much. Yes you danced but this was simple practice, hell wasn't exactly known for its refined~ practice. Your demon form was simple, you were tall (charlie sized) pale and had small wings on your back. Swan wings, that you could enlarge in and out at your will, not that you usually needed to. You mostly had them compact to your back. Most of your friends wondered why you were in hell to begin with, you were always civil to most characters. There was ofc the off-hand time where you'd threaten any demon who'd dare touch you or close friends, but... who's keeping count!?

As for the reason why you were there well... yes being a dancer had its purks but, it had just as many faults.

More then once at a young age in life you were cast for the villain rolls of dances, plays, etc.

You asked you teachers why and their answer was always, "the way you play it y/n! your body language, face and being on stage! you just do it so well"

As you progressed through as an actress and dancer you were never the 'princess' or the main heroin. Only the dark, cold villain. The black swan, The mouse king, Maleficent. How you longed to be the beauty and not the beast.

Not only did this anger you but soon after a while many other dancers would avoid you because of your 'villain' demeanor on stage. This caused you to grow a hatred for your fellows. It all became too much one day.

It was dress rehearsal, your last one before your last show, and the boys got a wise idea for a prank to play on their black swan. When rehearsing your first entrance you moved over to stage right when suddenly a type of slime/glue pored on you, burning your eyes and ruining your clothes. Then the lead boy shot what looked like a party popper at you but instead of confetti, landed black feathers. The boys were on hunched over laughing, 'childish' you thought while glaring at them.

Every other dancer turned their heads or ran over to see what was oh so funny. Once they all started laughing or turned their head to hide smiles, the director yelled at them all, "oi! that's enough, this isn't a baby recital that you did when you were 5! this isn't mature! Boys, help y/n and run 40 laps around the stage ey?" But it was too late, you'd decided right then and there.

So they saw you as the villain hm? You'd be happy to oblige.

The next day you played your part amazingly well but it was your next audition that excited you. It was for the seasonal part in the nutcracker. As always you were given the part, The mouse king.

When you met the lead playing Clara, the young girl heroin, you saw she was a perfectly civil young dancer. She met her end quickly enough tho.

When you came around to auditioning for The Sleeping Beauty and once again did not get Aurora, you found it quite enjoyable to get rid of the blonde broad that played her.

Then there was Romeo and Juliet. you never did audition for this one, reasons unknown to you. But when you did you somehow found that you felt no sadness you got the email saying that you didn't get the part of Juliet. You instead found joy when you cracked a wide smile as the blood of the girl who did get the part flowed down your hands.

Pretty thing she was, good dancer too. poor thing. ah well.

After about 3 years of of getting away with this little 'hobby; of yours you were found out and surrounded by a large S.W.A.T team. The team leader spoke softly to you.

"Miss y/n, please put your hands up, and drop the gun."

You were so annoyed by this, you'd had to use the damn thing to kill a small African-american girl who was playing Coopelia. You didn't like using guns but this was supposed to be quick. You'd even bought a silencer for the job.

"No officer, I don't think I will." You said back. you smiled as you turned to face the 20 guns pointed at you.

"You won't make it out alive L/n" He said trying to convince you.

"I don't plan on it," And smiling you flipped them off as you shot the gun at your own neck.

OKKKKKKK that was part 1! I hope ya'll like it and stay tuned. I don't know if you could tell but I am ballet dancer, I'm not professional yet but I know quite a bit.

y/n might be oc just a warning but again my first fic sooooo.

Anyway!!!!!! have a good day/night little humans!

part 2!