#edward plumb

[crimeronan]

i had a line in one of the drafts of the fic chapter posted yesterday about luz having woken up once to amity watching HER sleep even though luz does her best not to look at amity at all whatsoever bc she's convinced that desire is poison or whatever. i ended up cutting it not so much because i thought it was too weird as bc i was like okay amity needs at least SOME way to escape edward cullen allegations. but i am still thinking about it.

the thing compelling me most is that amity wouldn't even watch luz sleep in a desiring or crush-like way she's just like. [with the laser focus of a scientist watching a bug] why do you make me feel things. if i apply enough scientific analysis to the way you breathe and look really soft and vulnerable rn then i'll hack my own physiology and fix it. this will not backfire in any way whatsoever

[confusedraven1]

i keep watching this just to watch that wig plumb the depths and perform like it’s its last night on earth

[spirkkock]

A (NSFW) Modern AU where Nedward and Jopson are a cute little married (?) couple getting their house restored and Tozer is a thirsty contractor who gets swept up into a steamy throuple??? Hello??? can anyone hear me?????

Ned and Tom inherited a Georgian or Victorian home from Edward's grandmother or something, but it needs serious work, like needs to be taken back to the studs (or the Victorian equivalent) almost. And Sol comes in to rewire the ancient (fire hazard) electrical.

Down-on-his-luck Sol (having recently lost his job with a construction company) and knows way more about building than just being an electrician is like... hey.... you know they ran all this plumbing wrong here and you can easily salvage the shaker wall paneling in this room instead of tearing it out.

So Ned and Tom are like.... yes? tell us more? so Tozer is just kind of like "well I've got a guy (Morfin) who can run this plumbing again for a really reasonable price, and frankly I could do a better job of retiling this kitchen, and I know a guy (Bridgens) who is really into restoring old Victorian toilets and bathtubs if you need one. Oh by the way - these plaster and lath walls on the first floor don't even need to be removed, I could install some picture rails here so you don't damage the plaster when you hang stuff on the walls."

so they fire the shitty company they had before and put all of their faith in Sol and his mismatched team of contractor friends.

and it's a miracle for Sol because he's had a really unstable couple of months, what with losing his job and then getting booted out of a horribly fucked up polycule and losing his housing stability to boot. So he throws himself into this job which is so much better than just working as just an electrician.

And pretty soon the house becomes (sorta) livable, so Tom and Ned move in while he's still working on it - and then shit hits the fan.

Mostly because Tom works from home and likes to watch Sol with his unnerving blue eyes and walk around in shorts that are, frankly, obscene while also (not-so) subtly bending over to put paint swatches on the wainscoting or whatever. And whenever Ned is there (Saturdays) he's always trying to be helpful but doing a miserable job of it and then moping around with his big sad eyes and his fuck-me lashes while Sol does the heavy lifting.

And this is a Big Job, and a long one, so it's months and months of this, until eventually Ned and Tom are asking Sol to stay for dinner or join them to watch the game against liverpool or whatever - and they're both driving Sol up the wall because he's so horny for both of them he could die but they're MARRIED.

and then one horribly hot day (when Sol is working on re-installing the newly restored windows on the second floor so that the central AC the HVAC guy (Peglar) put in can actually start getting used) and he's stripped out of his shirt and is sweating obscenely - Tom brings him up a sandwich and some cold water and nearly drops the plate when he sees Sol glistening and flexing like that. And it obviously results in Tom on his knees (don't worry, he's using Sol's kneeling mat to protect his lovely delicate knees from the unfinished floor) giving Sol the sloppiest, filthiest blowjob of his life and it melts Sol's damn MIND.

Only this is a huge problem because now all the sudden he's fucking Tom half the time instead of working, and he can't look at Ned in the eye because, Christ, he's been banging this guy's husband in nearly every room in their house. And now Sol is a nervous wreck because Ned is always trying to coax him into staying for a beer or some takeout. And Sol isn't even picking up on the way Ned's hands linger when he claps him on the shoulder or the long knowing looks between Tom and Ned whenever Sol goes red and looks away from Tom's ass or that pale sliver of skin where his shirt rides up.

Sol is totally going to lose this job and never be able to use them as a reference.

Until one Saturday Tom corners Sol in the upstairs bathroom while hes installing the beautiful clawfoot tub and crowds him up against the recently restored sink to shove his hand down Sol's pants. And Sol is like, "Wait-please-Tom-don't --- ohhhh god - Ned is -fuuuuuck - NED is DOWNSTAIRS" but of course Tom just cuts him off with a vicious kiss and keeps stroking him off.

And the stairs creak - which mean's Ned is coming up but Sol can barely register it because Tom's hand feels so good and his lips are so hot and demanding. But then Tom pulls away and Sol makes eye contact with Ned over his shoulder and - oh fuck - he's cumming so hard into Tom's palm that it nearly makes his knees give out.

And there's a long moment of horrified silence where Sol is frozen, cum cooling on his stomach, Tom's hand still around his prick, and Nedward is looking at him with wide dark eyes and his stupid pouty mouth open in shock. And Sol is white knuckling the sink so hard he thinks he might rip it right out and ruin all the beautiful work he's done. This is it - he's cooked - this whole thing is crashing down around his head now, while his cock is out and the tub isn't even all the way installed.

But then Ned's pink tongue is darting out to wet his lips he palms himself with one of his big hands and his voice is low and gravely and totally filthy as he says, "Christ, Sol - you two look just as hot as I imagined."

And Tom is leaning in and snickering against his throat, and Sol doesn't know if his brain is just fully been scrambled but he doesn't understand what is happening at all. But then Tom is kissing him, and when he comes up for air there's a second pair of lips there to meet him, and it takes him a moment to realize that they're Ned's. And fuck his kiss is so hot and wet and Sol is moaning.

Needless to say he's a wreck of a man and so confused to find out that Ned has known all along that Sol and Tom were fucking - duh - there was a coordinated effort to try and get him into their bed, but that Ned was convinced Sol wasn't interested so he had backed off and just been satisfied hearing about it second-hand from Tom.

So Sol gets to have hot threesomes with two beautiful men all the time now as he finishes up the house and he takes some convincing but eventually Ned and Tom get him to agree to move into one of the spare rooms (although their bed is big enough for all three of them so it rarely gets used, actually)

and maybe Ned uses a little bit of that inheritance to loan Sol and friends what they need to start an honest-to-god historical restoration contracting company.

NOW EXPANDED: [[PART 2]]

[quaintlyfig]

Having thoughts after reading @dimplyowl's posts about Izzy and Ed and their behaviors.

I mean, I've had these thoughts a lot already. I attempted to express some of them shortly after season 2 aired when folks on twitter would rail against Ed's violent behavior toward Izzy at the same time they vehemently insisted that Izzy had never done anything bad ever to Ed. I tried to craft thoughtful responses on posts of people I thought might be interested in having a conversation and open to maybe understanding a different way of understanding Izzy's behavior. I did this maybe about three or four times, and every time I was 100% completely ignored. No "thanks for sharing your thoughts," no "cool story, bro," no "get fucked." Crickets. Zip, nada, zilch.

This show is silly and serious, goofy and deep, sweet and heavy. And I like exploring both sides - being able to float in the fun and being able to plumb the depths. And I'm in this fandom to do both of those things in a safe community - which I experience in abundance each day and am so grateful for! - not to be re-traumatized by people who are gleeful and militant apologists for emotional abuse. I became very well acquainted with the block and mute buttons around this time, happy to curate my experience.

I freely admit that this is a bit of a ramble and that it won't be flawless, but it feels good to organize my thoughts.

Content note before you continue reading: Author's experience with physical and emotional abuse as it relates to their thoughts regarding Izzy Hands' character and people's dismissal of the gravity of emotional abuse. Not gratuitous, but take care of yourself, and do not continue reading if that may cause you harm. And yes, I've been to lots of therapy, for which I am very grateful! 💜

I was raised by season 1 Izzy Hands.

Filled with rage, virulently jealous, and expertly manipulative. Someone who expected me to meet their every need by existing in their fantasy world where they were the ultimate martyr, and I was the ungrateful piece of shit they bent over backwards for. Gaslighting and crazy-making were literally a part of my everyday existence.

Less frequently, this person was also physically abusive, and I feared this abuse even on the occasions it didn't occur.

Both fucked me up plenty, and I won't play the "abuse olympics" and say one was worse than the other. (And I would imagine that there isn't such a thing as "only" physical abuse - the two are intimately tied together.) I will say that in my *own* experience, which is individual to myself and probably the proportions of each type of abuse, I have found the emotional abuse to be absolutely insidious in the ways it molded my understanding of self, relationships, love, affection, communication, sex, worth, sense of free will, responsibility, and more. I am still unraveling these things even over a decade after I cut all contact with this person.

The scene where Izzy confronts Ed, who is cleaning up his cabin and wearing the pink robe, is one that really sticks out to me.

A decent number of the Izzy-apologist takes I read talked about how Izzy didn't do anything wrong when he told Ed he'd be better off dead than as a "namby pamby in a silk dressing gown pining for his boyfriend." That he only serves Blackbeard and that Edward "had better watch his fucking step." These people said that Ed could have basically let that go like water off a duck's back and never become the Kraken.

We are responsible for our own actions *and* abusers know exactly how to push your buttons, get under your skin, take you down at your knees, and to grind your face into the gravel when you're already down. They know exactly where to stick the proverbial knife to do the swiftest, most lethal damage with the fewest words. They know how to make you feel like less than nothing - that you have NO inherent worth outside of what you do and how you serve them - so that you will bend to their will.

This scene shatters my heart every single time. I think Con and Taika both get their characters so right in every syllable and micro-expression during this exchange.

And whether Izzy's manipulation is conscious or unconscious doesn't matter. Just as there are reasons, but no *excuse* for the way Ed hurts people (or that Stede or the Badmintons, etc, hurt people), there is no *excuse* for the way Izzy abuses Ed (or anyone else).

I also heard people saying that Izzy's threats were empty and Ed should have known that. No, there isn't one single thing about Izzy's threats that were empty. He brought the fucking British to the Revenge and tried to have Stede - the man Ed loves - executed before Ed's eyes.

"Are you really going to lick the king's boots" wasn't about Izzy wanting Ed to be free. Ed felt free and happy with Stede when he could be someone softer and 3-dimensional. Izzy wanted Ed to be licking *his* boots in his every choice and behavior, even if Ed was captain in name. Izzy never served "his captain" - he only ever served the Blackbeard of his fantasies. A caricature that left Ed feeling utterly hollow and contemplating "packing it all in" (which didn't mean "retirement" when he said those words).

I simply don't have time anymore for people who wish to live in their own fantasy world where Izzy is a wholly-innocent victim being preyed upon by the Big Bad Kraken. The Kraken may have been born the night Ed killed his dad, so that part of Ed pre-existed Izzy, but Izzy did say in his own dying words that he fed the darkness in Ed and needed it for himself.

I know some people have a hard time seeing Izzy as a father-type figure to Ed, as David Jenkins has said before. But I can see it perfectly clearly. He's living his life through Ed, wanting him to perform exactly as ordered, to be a two-dimensional figure that satisfies his own need to feel important and needed.

One thing I haven't seen discussed as much that I absolutely recognize in Izzy from my own experience with my abuser is his incredible jealousy of anyone else that gets Ed's attention. He does not want anyone else to be close to Ed. He wants to be the gatekeeper to Blackbeard and the only one to call him Edward. He literally tries to have Stede killed because of how jealous he is. He does not want anyone else to love Ed, and he doesn't want Ed to love anyone else. He is so deeply insecure that he cannot share him at all.

If Ed has a real relationship (of any kind, not just romantic - he and Stede start out as instant BFFs), then he is not capable of performing Izzy's version of Blackbeard and pouring all of his energies into serving Izzy's (obviously very unhealthy) emotional needs. It's a zero sum game. Izzy has to have all of Ed, or he's "lost" the game.

Izzy needs to be to needed so badly that he creates in his mind a Blackbeard/Ed who cannot function without him, and he will do whatever it takes to shove Ed back into the box he needs him in in order to keep his own identity secure. Because if Ed doesn't have to be Blackbeard, that means he doesn't need Izzy, and who is Izzy without Blackbeard? He doesn't have a stable self and so *uses* Ed to prop himself up to feel like "somebody." He has built his own identity around the fantasy of Blackbeard.

Just because someone isn't losing toes doesn't mean abuse isn't happening. Emotional abuse is real. Additionally, perpetrators of violence have often been victims themselves. (This isn't even touching on the fact that they're all pirates.) Ed can be both. These things are messy as fuck. But I will say that Izzy's abuse clearly pre-dated Ed's Kraken-era violence against Izzy by years, at least, if not decades.

I'm genuinely not sure what the perceived merit or gain is in pretending otherwise. And just as Ed is ultimately responsible for his own actions, so is Izzy.

I appreciated Izzy's redemption arc, and I cried when he died. And I think it's ok that Izzy died. And Izzy was a very skilled emotional abuser in season 1. All of those things can be true at the same time.

I know there are a thousand other ways to come at this topic and examine it. I didn't even touch the question of apologies or redemption or any of that. Nor am I going to. This was primarily a personal examination of season 1 Izzy Hands' abusive behavior.

--

Image from Our Flag Means Death Frames on twitter

[mostly-marvel-musings]

Minor Inconvenience

A/N: Hello Stark Squad! Trying something new here, an actor AU with our beloved Mr. Stark. Because I had a request for ‘sharing a bed’ prompt in my ask box a million years ago, here it is! Hope you enjoy it :)

Pairing: Actor! Tony Stark x Actor! Reader

Warnings: Almost smut, fluff.

Word count: 2.2k

My Masterlist

.

“And cut!” the director yelled, letting out a sigh of relief and thanking the crew before turning to his lead actors.

“That was amazing, Y/N and Tony. Rest up. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.” he gave you two a thumbs up, and a green signal to break out of character for the day.

You didn’t realize you were holding in a breath until you let it out, all thanks to your co-star Anthony Edward Stark. The feelings you had developed for the man during the schedule of your film weren’t going anywhere, and there was nothing you could do about it.

It is just a crush! It’ll pass. That’s what you kept repeating in your mind on loop. Justifying it by blaming the story you two were a part of.

The film was about your characters falling in love in times of uncertainty and your love being tried and tested over the course of the journey. It was so beautifully written, the writer being one of your closest friends, and the director being a legend in this genre, you were beyond ecstatic to be a part of the project.

And then there was Tony.

The actor loved by millions, the superstar who had the world at his feet. Being in his presence felt like being swept up in a storm, there was flurry all around, but the eye of the storm was him. And you could say you were officially in the whirlwind.

Tony had an aura about him, he definitely was every bit the superstar they made him out to be. His presence was commanding, magnetic and nobody could look away. And he romanced the camera like nobody’s business. You were definitely a fan and every interaction with him had you turn into a giggling schoolgirl.

Over the span of your shoot, you got to know the man a little better, he had been courteous, warm and inviting. And now you knew him well enough to be invited to the legendary lunches that he hosted with great music, good food and amazing company. The man knew how to show people a good time.

You often wondered if that ‘good time’ was applicable in other areas as well…

Those were just some of the thoughts you had to mentally shake yourself out of.

“It was a good day, wouldn’t you agree Y/N?” Tony offered you a kind smile, frowning watching you a little dazed.

“Huh? I’m sorry I-I wasn’t..” you stared at your fingers, mentally cursing yourself for zoning out again. This happened enough times for it to be embarrassing now.

“Paying attention, yeah I got that. You okay?” he seemed genuinely concerned, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze, not helping your situation as you felt a thrill rush through your body.

For fuck’s sake, Y/N! He has touched you before, hell, you had hugged the man several times. And now there was a major scene you had to perform tomorrow. One where you kiss Tony, well, your character kisses his character.

“Mmmhmm super! I uh, I guess I’m just tired. Today was brilliant, you were brilliant, as always! I mean you are brilliant!” you chuckled, hoping your nervousness wouldn’t show. The smirk he hid behind his handsome features said otherwise though.

“You sure you didn’t sneak in a weed gummy earlier or something?” Tony said in jest, your eyes going wide in reaction simply amused him.

He secretly enjoyed watching you all flustered. It was endearing.

“Did they fix the plumbing in your room?”

“Oh no, they haven’t. And I can’t stay at my friends’ room tonight, she’s got a hot date that she is confident she’d fuc–um, sleep with tonight.” you managed to correct yourself terribly, placing a stray lock behind your ear as you two walked towards your cars.

That was the thing. The hotel you were staying at had been modest given the remote location, it wasn’t a big production and you were quite comfortable with it. Two days ago, you had woken up to a pipe bursting in your bathroom and your room flooding in a matter of minutes. You had to bunk up with the one person who didn’t mind sharing given that the hotel had been fully booked.

Tonight you were out of options, there was no hotel in sight for miles and no empty rooms were available.

“What are you gonna do?” he asked, opening the card door for you, making you realize you had to think of your options pronto.

“I guess I could look for another hotel but there isn’t one that’s so close to set. I am screwed.” you sighed, closing your eyes as the back of your head hit the backrest of your car.

Tony motioned you to roll down the window as he shut the door for you, leaning against it casually as he spoke, adding much to the fluttering of your heart.

“You could stay with me.”

“What?”

“For tonight. We can share the room, if you’d like.” he offered, his big brown eyes looking at you full of hope.

“I wouldn’t want to intrude, Tony. I’m sure you’ve got plans.” you didn’t want to be a bother, especially not with your situation. No matter how many excitable flips your insides did, you had to be a professional.

“I sure have plans. I plan on spending this lovely evening cracking open a bottle of whiskey that is said to taste better with some company. What do you say, Y/N?”

He made you laugh, hell, he made you feel like a teenager with raging hormones. You would hate to make those pretty brown orbs sad, so you agreed.

“Okay. Thank you, Tony. Really.”

He merely brushed it off, tapping the car twice before heading to his.

“And no you’re not sleeping on the couch!” he called out, almost sensing your thoughts, making you giggle yet again.

…

The keycard bleeped before Tony held the door open for you, watching you intently as you dragged your suitcase inside.

His room was definitely the best one you’d seen amongst all. Of course, it was him. He would be given the best suite the hotel had to offer.

It offered through their floor to ceiling windows the most amazing views of the meadows that surrounded, the pine trees lining the beautiful landscape topped off with the most stunning sunset.

“It is quite something, isn’t it?” Tony murmured, smiling at the way your body had naturally dragged you towards the windows.

“Stunning. I love outdoor shoots for this very reason. It’s sunsets, nature and all the things you wouldn’t normally experience back home.” You let out a soft sigh, placing a hand against the glass as the skies dramatically changed colors.

It took everything in Tony’s might to not walk up to you that very moment, push your hair aside and kiss your neck. And it would be a lie to say that he hadn’t thought about doing it before.

“I’m gonna take a shower, if you don’t mind?” You asked timidly, making Tony realize you were now facing him.

“Sure. I’ll join you.” He blurted out without thinking, shaking his head and scratching the back of his head nervously.

“I mean, please go ahead. I will take one when you’re done.” He muttered, missing the blush that had crept up on your cheeks at his earlier statement.

…

The shower was relaxing, hot water cascading down your back worked out all the knots and kinks while your mind was preoccupied with what Tony had said earlier.

I’ll join you.

Was there a tiniest chance he felt the same way about you? The Tony Stark crushing on his co-star who also happened to crush hard on him? It was ridiculous to even think about but the part of you that often had you day-dreaming about him encouraged you to believe in the possibility.

Tony jumped up from his seat as he heard the door unlock, gulping as you walked out in a fluffy robe, drying your hair, smelling heavenly. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he brushed past you to head to the bathroom, inhaling your scent inevitably. It made his cock stir as you passed him, giving him a shy smile.

“Feel free to open the bottle of whiskey, it’s right there. I won’t be too long.” he nodded at the expensive looking bottle on the small table they had in his room. It looked like it was sent from a fan, a female one that was too complete with a handwritten note and a not-so-subtle imprint of red lips.

“Oh and I ordered some fries. I remember you saying you loved them.”

Could this man be more perfect?

You did mention your undying love for fries at one of his parties but you never thought he’d remember.

“Thank you, Tony. You’re really going out of your way to impress me.” you blurted out, biting your bottom lip to stop the grin that formed.

“Hey as long as it’s working!” he chuckled, sending you a wink before disappearing in the bathroom. You were screaming internally at this point.

The evening was definitely going to be interesting.

…

You spent some time checking your phone before hearing the water turn off, your heart doing a little flip as Tony’s head peeped out from the door, calling your name.

“Could you be a dear and pass me a towel?”

Handing him a towel, you couldn’t help but let your eyes feast on his physique that was now glistening and was tantalizingly on display, making you wish he’d push the door just a little further. He had arms to die for and a toned chest that made you weak in the knees, his happy trail inviting you to explore a little lower, until Tony cleared his throat.

“I mean I could’ve walked out naked if I knew you’d enjoy the show.” he smirked, giving the towel you held in your hands a firm tug, pulling you forward. Your cheeks felt hot as you let out a nervous laugh, shaking your head.

“Maybe I needed to join you.” you felt bolder now, letting go of the towel and mirroring his smirk.

You figured it was now or never.

Pouring both your drinks, you waited for the man to join you, doing your best to get your erratic heartbeat to calm down.

Conversation flowed easily between the two of you as it always did, reminiscing about the first time you met, how you got into acting and landing this role. You even admitted to breaking into an embarrassing dance with your team the moment they confirmed you had been signed on for this film.

It was way past midnight by the time either of you bothered to glance at a clock.

“Jeez! Is that the time? I’m afraid we must get our beauty sleep as much as we can, big day tomorrow.” he placed both your glasses on the nightstand, chuckling as you both let out a sigh in tandem.

You’d changed into your sleep shorts and a large t-shirt that you had hoped nobody saw you in, thanks to the unforeseen situation, Tony now knew you slept in t-shirts with cheesy quotes on them.

“Tony, are you sure about this, I mean I’m tiny I can manage on the couch.” You tucked a lock of hair behind your ear as you watched him fluff the pillows.

“Look, if anything, it should be me offering to sleep on the couch but I’m gonna be selfish tonight.” he murmured, his voice soft.

“What do you mean?” your own voice barely over a whisper at the close proximity of him as he extended his hand for you from across the bed.

Maybe it was the whiskey that sat warm and fuzzy in your bellies or just the fact that there was something you both felt in the moment. An unsaid chemistry, tension you could cut with a knife.

The bed dipped under your weights as you got on your knees, still clasping Tony’s hand as you got closer, breathing each other in.

His scent was intoxicating to you, his eyes criminally brown as they bore into you, making you lose yourself in their depths.

“Well, I’ve been told, you’ve never kissed anyone on screen yet. Is that right?” he asked softly, bringing his other hand to brush your hair out the way gently to cup your face.

You managed a nod, leaning into his touch and closing your eyes momentarily. It was true. You had been in several films before however somehow there wasn’t any that had required you to kiss a costar. That added to the fact that your big on-screen kiss would now be with this gorgeous man who was right before you.

“We’ve got something here, Y/N. Something electric, palpable. See how our bodies react to each other?” his lips were now inches away from your ear, a smile adorning his features as his words sent a shiver down your spine, proving his point.

“And what are we gonna do about it?” you breathed, pressing your hand against his chest, noting how his heart beat against your palms and his very obvious boner that wasn’t hidden anymore.

Definitely not a one-sided crush. He wanted you, and you wanted him.

“I think we’re gonna go off-script. A lot. And not just on set.”

The gif is simply because I LOVE IT. What do we think?

[monkeyssalad-blog]

Linear Aerospike SR-71 Experiment (LASRE) by NASA on The Commons Via Flickr: The NASA SR-71A successfully completed its first cold flow flight as part of the NASA/Rocketdyne/Lockheed Martin Linear Aerospike SR-71 Experiment (LASRE) at NASA's Dryden Flight Research Center (now NASA Armstrong), Edwards, California on March 4, 1998. During a cold flow flight, gaseous helium and liquid nitrogen were cycled through the linear aerospike engine to check the engine's plumbing system for leaks and to check the engine operating characteristics. Cold-flow tests had to be accomplished successfully before firing the rocket engine experiment in flight. The SR-71 flew for one hour and fifty-seven minutes, reaching a maximum speed of Mach 1.58 on this flight. Learn more about the LASRE Project flights in 1997 and 1998 NASA Media Usage Guidelines Credit: NASA/Carla Thomas Image Number: EC98-44440-4 Date: March 4, 1998

[bemusedlybespectacled]

jumping off this post but hot take: Izzy is acting just as much as Stede (and Ed) is, he's just acting an entirely different role. like, dude knows how to be dramatic. there is no non-dramatic reason for showing up for a confrontation flanked by two goons under a single light source like you're in a mobster movie, or for slicing your opponent's shirt with your sword all swishily and then being like "this is how you die," or for "plumb the depths, man," or "you will rue this day, Edward! you will rue it long and you will rue it hard!"

like. my honey my dude my guy. that's some theater kid shit.

Izzy's just acting like how he thinks a pirate is supposed to act. he is full on LARPing. he has decided to be a plain-dealing villain and by God he is going to put 110% into his role. I don't think he's aware that he's doing that, but I truly think that his issue with Stede isn't that he's pretending to be a pirate, but that he's pretending to be a pirate badly. like, stealing shit through trickery is definitely pirate behavior. pirates do not need to play fair. but Stede's "unprofessional" because he's not acting correctly! he's not following the script!

incidentally Izzy is ALSO bad at following scripts that aren't in his specific Shakespearean villain wheelhouse. he Does Not Have The Range. that's why his attempt at jocular crew morale boosting shit goes so fucking badly.

tl;dr: Izzy isn't more professional at piracy than Stede, he's just upset that Stede is somehow succeeding at piracy (and seducing Edward) while also being the piracy equivalent of Tommy Wiseau.

[usafphantom2]

A Different Sort of Restoration

September 26, 2024 In History, Member Stories.

A Different Sort of Restoration

By Kevin Renshaw, EAA 133861

On May 30, the Fort Worth Aviation Museum (FWAM) unveiled the static display restoration of YF-16 No. 2 (USAF tail number 72-01568) following a four-year restoration effort. The restoration was accomplished to recognize the 50th anniversary of the first flight of this aircraft which occurred in May 1974 as part of the USAF Light Weight Fighter (LWF) program.

Two YF-16s were built by General Dynamics for the LWF competition. The first YF-16 flew in January 1974 with Phil Oestricher at the controls. This aircraft was used for aerodynamic performance testing and is now on display at the Virginia Air and Space Museum in Hampton, Virginia. The second YF-16 was first flown by Neil Anderson and was configured as a pre-production tactical fighter, with an internal 20mm cannon and functional store stations. Together, the two aircraft flew more than 330 flights and 417 hours during the LWF fly-off at Edwards AFB leading to the selection of the F-16 as the new USAF air combat fighter in January 1975. This led to production of more than 4,550 F-16s for 25 different countries, with production continuing today in Greenville, South Carolina.

YF-16 No. 2 had a long and varied career. It performed at many international air shows and provided demonstrations of its superiority over the F-4 Phantom it replaced. This is the same aircraft that landed at Carswell AFB with the landing gear retracted following an air show demonstration in May 1975; it was repaired and returned to service in six weeks. The aircraft was modified by General Dynamics to demonstrate carriage and launch of AIM-7 missiles and appeared at multiple international air shows in the famous red/white/blue paint job. In August 1979 while being used as a chase plane for a production F-16, the aircraft suffered a broken nose landing gear which destroyed the radome. The Air Force decided that since there were now production F-16s available, there was no need to repair it and the aircraft was retired from flying.

In 1980, the Air Force labs at Rome, New York, needed a test fixture to evaluate performance of antennas, electronics packages, and electronic warfare pods meant to go on the production F-16. Rather than building a new test model, the lab started with the YF-16 airframe, and modified it to represent the shape of the production F-16. This included replacing the YF nose section with a production F-16 radome and radar, increasing the length of the fuselage 10 inches and increasing the wing area by 20 square feet. They also removed most of the wiring and plumbing from the aircraft to reduce weight. The aircraft was then mounted on a test range at Griffiss AFB and used to test every configuration of the F-16 between 1980 and 2018. In 2019, USAF declared the aircraft surplus. Through the offices of Congresswoman Kay Granger, arrangements were made to loan the aircraft to FWAM for restoration and display.

@EAA.com

[amuseoffyre]

I did a thread on the bird site last night about Ed's world being so tied up in sea/water analogies and connections but realised I didn't put together a full list of the references I can remember off the top of my head. Now, I will attempt to do so.

Before I get into the details, there's also recurring symbolism of Ed standing between two worlds and this is reflected in the above/below of the sea but also the tidelines/shore/docks as a place where land and sea meet and overlap.

There's a lot happening.

"treading water, waiting to drown" (1x03)

"Be a lighthouse" / "cracking up on the rocks" (1x04)

throwing unwanted people/hopes/dreams/fears into the sea (1x05, 1x10, 2x02, 2x03, 2x07)

the dock and lighthouse in his flashback to his father's death - the first sea versus land metaphor, where the horror rises from beneath the surface (1x06)

"something stirring in the brine" (1x06)

"plumb the depths" / sirens and krakens (1x06) being the thing to trigger a breakdown

"Edward Teach, born on a beach" (1x09)

the kiss happening on the shoreline (1x09)

the abandonment happening on a dock (1x09)

marooning the crew on a sandbar - a temporary island, which is what Stede and his crew were for him (1x10)

"sunshine one moment, cataracts the next" (2x02)

his purgatory begins with him waking at the high tideline - a symbolic meeting point between the land and the sea (2x03)

collecting paua on the beach with ties back to his mother (2x03)

"Jeff's Inn by the Sea" - another place on the edge of land and sea (2x03)

reveal about the Gravy Basket while standing on the shore (2x03)

becoming the cataract - the chaotic surge falling over a cliff and full submersion in the sea as a way to end his life (2x03)

mer!Stede - a creature of both land and sea who can be there with him when he's in his dark watery doom (2x03)

"caught in his whirlpool" (2x04)

"hanging out on this ladder" - again somewhere between the sea and the safety of the safe space ship (2x05)

"Man against beast - I'm the man and the beast was beneath the sea" (2x05)

"we're the fish, I think" (2x05)

"storm's coming but I just can't see it" tied in with flashbacks and a shot with a 50-50 split of sky and sea (2x06)

another abandonment that is planned on the dock by the water's edge (2x07)

"pirates and fishermen are nothing alike" - subtext of the entire conversation ties to "you can't catch the fish unless the fish chooses to be caught" (2x05) and Ed is choosing not to be caught and fleeing (2x07)

the opening of 2x08 on the water's edge, away from the sea

reclaiming an identity cast into the sea (2x08)

rising from the waves on the shoreline, a place where he becomes himself instead of trying to split himself into different sides (2x08)

finding one another on a beach - Ed Teach, reborn on a beach (2x08)

choosing to leave the sea and make a home on the line where the land meets the sea (2x08)

I love the symbolism of a man who has spent his life trying to be this *or* that realising that he can become this *and* that. Blurring the lines, moving away from the binary rules.

He can be both land and sea. He can be both Ed and Blackbeard. He can have leather and silk. He can be strong and soft. He can be the big spoon and the little spoon. He can have it all :)

[oscarisaacasimov]

OFMD S1E6 - the Stizzy lace curtains scene

because it's my job to make sure Edward is content. and he adores you.

why, I'll never know but he does.

so plumb the depths man.

perform like it's your last day on earth.

[siswritesyanderes]

begging for any bella/reader/edward yandere crumbs... any headcanons, scenarios, a n y t h i n g ... like how do they meet, who is more aggressive to reader (bella or edward), does edward still martyr himself or after bella is he like "fuck it we're kidnapping you", first kiss scenario, how does edward's mind reading come into play, how tf does reader react to bella and edward saying "youre our child's parent now, btw :)"... gah i think i might even like them more than yandere jalice!!

p.s. i rlly like how you see/characterize bella! i think her stoniness is 10x more interesting when viewed as her actual personality

(Thank you so much!)

Okay, so I probably won't be able to get all my thoughts down here, but I think it depends on whether we're keeping with the way I characterize Edward in Rule One (namely, the idea that he's learned to be a better person after seeing what lessons Renesmee learns from his behavior) or if we're going canon Edward.

I think, if it's canon Edward, the events of the Twilight saga would have disabused him of the idea that he's inherently evil and soulless (since the whole thesis of Breaking Dawn was "Actually, we're awesome and this is awesome; I don't know what I was even worried about," /hj), so his natural arrogance would take center stage. Not to mention, you don't have Bella's power, so he can hear your thoughts; he isn't going into this like "Who is this frustratingly mysterious person? How can I plumb their depths? Dare I even risk it?" He's going into it more, "I know every dorky thing you think about, and regardless I am in a veritable maelstrom of limerence. But you should still know, it's dorky. You dork. I would die for you."

Bella would be all over breaking into your room and reading all of your journals and diaries and yearbook signatures cover to cover. I feel that Bella would be more in the delusional yandere category than Edward, even without factoring in his mind reading; from her perspective, she's reached the happy ending of one love story, so she's pretty sure she can effortlessly speedrun a second one, now that she's a vampire and therefore categorically way better than she was before. Edward would be slightly more careful, because he remembers every second of every hurdle that came before the happy ending last time and also he is very aware of the little detail that you aren't in love with them yet. That being said, he still thinks nothing of sneaking into your room; in fact, he loves listening to your dreams and subtly referencing them in conversation with you the next day. Bella takes his cue and starts weaving sentiments from your journals and diaries into conversations, as well.

If it's Edward in his Rule One characterization, then I think his tactics would be less obviously stalkerish than Bella's; Bella would still follow the example he gave for vampire courtship and be all for climbing in windows and watching people sleep because that's how her ideal romance played out and if it ain't broke don't fix it. (She doesn't have a problem with what Edward did, and she thinks it's fun to be on this side of it, because she loves how strong and awesome she is as a vampire.) Edward would be more, "Love, I regret my boorish disregard for your privacy when you were human, and I'd like not to repeat the behavior now. Instead, I will find our mate's father at his place of work and politely inform him of our intentions to court them. Hopefully, we can go about this the proper way." (Whether or not he goes through with it depends on a lot of different factors, but that's the sort of thing he'd think of.)

In either case, Renesmee would immediately not be normal about you. Like, she genuinely should not be left alone with you, or even allowed around you without a pre-planned topic of conversation, because she would certainly say or do something weird (pretty much regardless of how old she is, unless decades have passed; I feel like the family's constant attention and spoiling would shape her as a person in a pretty-long term way). Like, this younger "sibling" of your classmates going, "If you were my mom/dad/parent, how would you put me to bed?" "I'll bet you'd make a great parent. Can I hug you?"

Bella expects you to be able to leave your friends and family behind and join them as a vampire with relative ease, and she doesn't fully understand if you can't. After all, she loved her parents and friends, and she was willing to leave them. Why won't you? Were she still human, she would convert this confusion pretty quickly into insecurity (As in, she would believe it's because she isn't good enough and you can't love her.), but as a vampire, she believes she is perfect now, so she is genuinely just confused.

Basically, many possibilities, lol.

[aeternatenebra]

So I did this experiment with Character AI

I tried to ask various characters and historical figures to “unclog a sink”.

These are the results:

- Lord Voldemort: helped me unclog the sink first, then asked questions. Many of them. He eventually decided that we had become close friends. Very wholesome, actually.

- Harry Potter: helped me unclog the sink; immediately after, asked me to go on a date with him. What.

- Gandalf: very detailed and competent. Checked my sink to know what the problem was, gave a detailed explanation and then fixed it without even using his magic. What a chad. 10/10.

- Julius Caesar: helped unclog the sink, gave good advices on how to keep it clean and suggested not to give money to plumbers cause they’re a fraud lmao

- Napoleon Bonaparte: didn’t unclog the sink on my behalf; instead, gave me instructions on what to do to unclog it, in an assertive tone. Not what I wanted, but the sink is working at least.

- Leonardo da Vinci: said he was an expert plumber, fixed my sink so effortlessly that I couldn’t help but be impressed. Asked me to pay for the service and then said I was very lucky that my sink was “of the highest priority in [his] list of plumbing emergencies”.

- Tywin Lannister: said he was busy, but helped me understand the problem. Then suggested that I called a professional.

- Sasuke Uchiha: said he didn’t know how to unclog a sink. He was utterly pissed off by this question.

- Neuvillette: straight up tricked me into going on a date with him. Wth man calm down. Sink is still clogged btw.

- Scaramouche: “If you are stupid enough to clog a sink, you are probably better off washing your dishes in the local river”

- Edward Elric: not even tried to use alchemy, just asked to show him where the sink was and took his time to fix it with his own hands.

- Rei Ayanami: said my sink was clogged because a piece of plastic got stuck in the drain “for improper disposal”. Helped to unclog it.

- Gendo Ikari: said to turn the valve counterclockwise. Then stared menacingly.

- Levi Ackerman: asked where the sink was, went there without saying a word and fixed it. Then went back to what he was doing. He looked tired.

- Allen Walker: said he was busy and that I could use a plunger. Helped after I said he made me sad. Also, he told me to “watch the power of the plunger at work”.

- Griffith: he led me to the sink *I* asked him to unclog, as he knew already which one I meant. He unclogged it, then smiled at me.

- Circe: at first was reluctant to help, eventually decided to unclog my sink. Then turned me into an insect. OG drama queen.

- Athena: found a plastic toy that was stuck in the trap. Helped me remove it and now my sink works just fine. Said she was glad to help one of her citizens.

[jessicanjpa]

cottage

An excerpt from this chapter of 2003. The Cullens have just moved to Forks and Edward is exploring the woods behind the house.

I was surprised to find the remnants of an old trail not far from the river. It hadn't been used in a long time; for most of its length, the only sign was a winding track of evergreens that were significantly shorter than their neighbors. A rusted tin can was the only other evidence that a human had ever passed this way. Maybe this path led to an old deer stand or something like that.

I explored here and there, finally taking to the treetops so I could follow the "path" more easily. I was finally rewarded with the sight of a big rectangle so regular that it had to be manmade. It was partially obscured by the overgrowth and the rotted branches that had fallen on it in recent years, but it was definitely a building. I swung back down to the forest floor, surprised to see not a deer stand or a spartan hunting shack, but an adorable little stone cottage.

It was like stepping into a fairy tale. I had landed just far enough away to use the little path of flat stones that led the way home to the front door. The decaying, broken roof was an eyesore, but everything else was perfect... in a crumbling, half-reclaimed-by-nature sort of way. Wild, meandering honeysuckle had completely taken over one wall. Nearly every stone was outlined and softened with moss. The arched door wasn't in the best shape, but it was made of sturdy oak that had easily outlived the roof.

I walked a wide circle around the whole thing. A stone chimney crowned the southern corner, and there was a little door in the back that opened directly into what probably used to be a garden. Now, it was just a little outline of rotted miniature fencing, completely overrun by natural growth. Only a single climbing rose plant had survived to tell the story of the former inhabitants, clinging to the mossy stones as if to escape the encroaching wilderness.

I reached out and gently touched its petals. Stubborn rose, I thought with a smile. It was a good omen; Rosalie and Emmett were going to love it out here. It'd been a while since they'd really needed four walls of their own to knock down as they pleased, but it wasn't every day we found a house that came complete with a fairy tale cottage, either. I was almost jealous.

I carefully inspected the rest of the exterior before easing the door open. Esme would want to know every detail, though of course she would soon be out here to see it for herself. I stretched my gift back toward the main house to her mind abuzz with renovation plans. She might not be able to get to the cottage right away. I grimaced around the tiny living room. The beehive fireplace was in good enough condition, but the wallpaper was an affront to all that was good and holy. Hopefully the smell would get thrown out with it.

The kitchen was little more than a camper's stove and a sink, which was just as well. Two rickety chairs crowded up to a tiny breakfast table that had seen better days. I was far more interested in the old piano that took up the wall across from the fireplace. I didn't expect much, what with the exposure and the humidity it must have suffered over the years, but I still let out a disappointed sigh when the keys refused to be pushed, much less make any sound. I took a peek inside; the strings actually didn't look too bad. I already had the Steinway baby grand anyway, but it would be a shame to send it to a junkyard. Maybe I could find a local piano repair shop that enjoyed restoring hard luck cases.

Just like the main house, the cottage seemed bigger inside than out. I followed a little hallway—it was arched like the front door, as though I had wandered into a tiny castle—and found a generous bedroom matched against two smaller rooms. No signs of plumbing ever having been installed: that would give Esme a pleasant challenge.

The whole thing was perfect. Maybe if Rosalie and Emmett spent enough time out here, they would even agree to switch bedrooms with me. I didn't exactly need a full suite, but I wouldn't say no to my own shower and enough room for all my books to come out of their boxes. They were getting the better deal by far; this place was a jewel. And it felt right, somehow; it had been a shame to see the hunting cottage back at our old Hoquiam place fall into disrepair. Having this little find on our new property seemed to make up for it.

I headed back to the main house, wondering who had lived out at the cottage once upon a time, and why. I supposed it might be as old as the house, or even older; there could have been a whole line of occupants. The cottage had its own little story to tell. Perhaps it had been used as a mother-in-law unit once: a whimsical grandmother with plenty of cats and plenty of time to tend her roses. Then a little honeymoon retreat for a blushing couple who had set up house with a second-hand breakfast table, then a brooding pianist who needed solitude to work on his compositions.

And now it would house a pair of lovesick vampires who would hopefully leave it in one piece and pass it on to continue the story. The older we all got, the more distanced we felt from stories like these, no matter how picturesque the setting or how vivid an imprint our renovations left behind. But I supposed we were just stewards like the rest: here for a day, then nothing more than a fading memory.

[ingek73]

I thought I knew royal greed – but King Charles profiting from the assets of the dead is a disgusting new low

For decades, parliament has been far too lenient about the royal family’s finances. This avaricious practice needs to end

Norman Baker Fri 24 Nov 2023 13.08 CET

Over the centuries, the royals have continually bleated poverty and demanded more money from the taxpayer.’ Photograph: Reuters

As a royal author, I have come across plentiful examples of royal greed. It is standard practice for the royals to seek to minimise their personal expenditure while maximising their income from other sources, normally the public purse.

But the revelation that King Charles III’s personal slush fund, the Duchy of Lancaster, is having its already bulging coffers augmented by the estates of people who die in parts of England with historical links to the royal estate plumbs new depths of disgusting avarice.

Like many so-called traditions, the feudal hangover that is bona vacantia should have been consigned to the dustbin of history centuries ago, but it has been all too tempting for successive royals to preserve this royal fruit machine that pays out again and again. Over the past 10 years, it has collected more than £60m in the funds.

Under this system, the Duchy of Cornwall, owned by Prince William, can claim the assets of people who die in Cornwall intestate – without a will – if no relatives can be found. Charles’s Duchy of Lancaster does the same when their last known residence is within what was historically known as Lancashire county palatine.

Edward VIII found cash from those who died intestate in the boundaries of the duchy was sitting in an account in case claims arose against it. He simply stole a million pounds from it, leaving almost nothing in that kitty.

George VI did very well out of the loyal servicemen who died serving their country in the second world war, who originated from within the confines of the duchy and had no will. “For king and country” took on a whole new meaning.

As disquiet about the practice of bona vacantia grew after the war, the royals announced that moneys collected would henceforth be given to charity – after processing costs had been deducted, of course. In the case of the Duchy of Lancaster, this came to about 4% compared to 15% for the Duchy of Cornwall.

Yet a Guardian investigation now reveals that matters are even worse than we have been led to believe. Put bluntly, we have been lied to. Monies we all thought were going to charity have instead been used to improve properties owned by the duchy, increasing the income stream that flows from them into Charles’s pockets.

We have the most expensive monarchy in Europe by far in terms of state support, and one that benefits from unique tax treatment available to nobody else. No inheritance tax is paid. The so-called private estates of the duchies of Cornwall and Lancaster are not private enough to pay corporation tax or capital gains tax. Even income tax is only paid voluntarily – if it all – no receipts have ever been made public.

The civil list, which in 2011 gave the royals £7.9m a year, was replaced, after palace lobbying, with the sovereign grant, which 12 years later is up to £86m a year. Over the centuries, the royals have continually bleated poverty and demanded more money from the taxpayer, while at the same time refusing point blank to reveal the extent of their accumulated wealth.

They even refused to provide this information to the last government that seriously tried to dig into this – the Labour government of the mid-1970s, with the then home secretary Roy Jenkins pursuing the matter.

Back in Queen Victoria’s reign, the government was told she was desperately short of cash to undertake her duties so a big uplift was provided. She was not short of cash, and the money provided by the then government was instead used to buy Sandringham and Balmoral. I recognise that behaviour from my time in parliament. It’s called fiddling your expenses.

My calculations suggest that the king is worth as much as £2bn and probably more. The bulk of this has come from excessive generosity on behalf of the taxpayer, either through direct handouts or indirectly through unique tax exemptions. But antiquated and indefensible arrangements such as bona vacantia have played their part too.

Parliament, which over the decades has been far too deferential, far too trusting, far too easy going, needs to get a grip. The disgusting existence of royal windfalls from dead people should be ended forthwith. The duchies of Cornwall and Lancaster should be transferred immediately to the publicly owned crown estate; they only escaped from being transferred along with other royal lands in 1760 because they were then deemed worthless. Plainly, this is no longer the case. The public accounts committee should begin a thorough investigation into the funding and wealth of the royals.

Monarchists should worry. Opening the doors on royal finances and practices will reveal a terrible stench.

in regards to:

[dumber-alek]

Btw when in Art of Fuckery Izzy tells Stede that Edward adores him, he has no idea why, Stede's hiding behind his satin lace curtains in his library nook.

And we can see a dark outline of Izzy kind of sensually (?) lean against the fabric, stroke it and tell Stede that he has to make sure Ed is content; ”plumb the depths and perform like it's your last day on earth"

It's a beautiful dramatic shot, but it instantly made me think of a similar shot. With the same curtains, but by Stede's bed.

Plumb the depths? Perform like it's your last day on earth? Judging by the thank you breakfast, he did.

And Izzy even came up to see if ed is content sooo

[imagine--if]

Eddie with a reader who he's secretly stalking as the Riddler. She has an awful landlord so she has to keep her apartment ridiculously cold to avoid heat bills and her plumbing and electricity need to be fixed. The first time he breaks into her apartment she's shivering in her bed asleep and he tries to be as accommodating as possible to whatever she needs before leaving to put her landlord on his livestream trial

That's definitely something Edward would do; he sees himself as some form of dark justice, just like The Batman, and especially if you're his decidedly fated angel, he'll have to help you out 😍 we know how obsessive he is

I can imagine that its the first time you release that he's out there and quite possibly watching you - seeing your landlord on the local news the next morning with snippets of the 'judgement' and a riddle or something that answers with your name, something that catches you off guard because you know it's directed at you 😵

Not to mention how a couple of small things of yours have gone missing as his keepsakes and replaced with encrypted post-its or something 💚