#joplitzer

[spirkkock]

A (NSFW) Modern AU where Nedward and Jopson are a cute little married (?) couple getting their house restored and Tozer is a thirsty contractor who gets swept up into a steamy throuple??? Hello??? can anyone hear me?????

Ned and Tom inherited a Georgian or Victorian home from Edward's grandmother or something, but it needs serious work, like needs to be taken back to the studs (or the Victorian equivalent) almost. And Sol comes in to rewire the ancient (fire hazard) electrical.

Down-on-his-luck Sol (having recently lost his job with a construction company) and knows way more about building than just being an electrician is like... hey.... you know they ran all this plumbing wrong here and you can easily salvage the shaker wall paneling in this room instead of tearing it out.

So Ned and Tom are like.... yes? tell us more? so Tozer is just kind of like "well I've got a guy (Morfin) who can run this plumbing again for a really reasonable price, and frankly I could do a better job of retiling this kitchen, and I know a guy (Bridgens) who is really into restoring old Victorian toilets and bathtubs if you need one. Oh by the way - these plaster and lath walls on the first floor don't even need to be removed, I could install some picture rails here so you don't damage the plaster when you hang stuff on the walls."

so they fire the shitty company they had before and put all of their faith in Sol and his mismatched team of contractor friends.

and it's a miracle for Sol because he's had a really unstable couple of months, what with losing his job and then getting booted out of a horribly fucked up polycule and losing his housing stability to boot. So he throws himself into this job which is so much better than just working as just an electrician.

And pretty soon the house becomes (sorta) livable, so Tom and Ned move in while he's still working on it - and then shit hits the fan.

Mostly because Tom works from home and likes to watch Sol with his unnerving blue eyes and walk around in shorts that are, frankly, obscene while also (not-so) subtly bending over to put paint swatches on the wainscoting or whatever. And whenever Ned is there (Saturdays) he's always trying to be helpful but doing a miserable job of it and then moping around with his big sad eyes and his fuck-me lashes while Sol does the heavy lifting.

And this is a Big Job, and a long one, so it's months and months of this, until eventually Ned and Tom are asking Sol to stay for dinner or join them to watch the game against liverpool or whatever - and they're both driving Sol up the wall because he's so horny for both of them he could die but they're MARRIED.

and then one horribly hot day (when Sol is working on re-installing the newly restored windows on the second floor so that the central AC the HVAC guy (Peglar) put in can actually start getting used) and he's stripped out of his shirt and is sweating obscenely - Tom brings him up a sandwich and some cold water and nearly drops the plate when he sees Sol glistening and flexing like that. And it obviously results in Tom on his knees (don't worry, he's using Sol's kneeling mat to protect his lovely delicate knees from the unfinished floor) giving Sol the sloppiest, filthiest blowjob of his life and it melts Sol's damn MIND.

Only this is a huge problem because now all the sudden he's fucking Tom half the time instead of working, and he can't look at Ned in the eye because, Christ, he's been banging this guy's husband in nearly every room in their house. And now Sol is a nervous wreck because Ned is always trying to coax him into staying for a beer or some takeout. And Sol isn't even picking up on the way Ned's hands linger when he claps him on the shoulder or the long knowing looks between Tom and Ned whenever Sol goes red and looks away from Tom's ass or that pale sliver of skin where his shirt rides up.

Sol is totally going to lose this job and never be able to use them as a reference.

Until one Saturday Tom corners Sol in the upstairs bathroom while hes installing the beautiful clawfoot tub and crowds him up against the recently restored sink to shove his hand down Sol's pants. And Sol is like, "Wait-please-Tom-don't --- ohhhh god - Ned is -fuuuuuck - NED is DOWNSTAIRS" but of course Tom just cuts him off with a vicious kiss and keeps stroking him off.

And the stairs creak - which mean's Ned is coming up but Sol can barely register it because Tom's hand feels so good and his lips are so hot and demanding. But then Tom pulls away and Sol makes eye contact with Ned over his shoulder and - oh fuck - he's cumming so hard into Tom's palm that it nearly makes his knees give out.

And there's a long moment of horrified silence where Sol is frozen, cum cooling on his stomach, Tom's hand still around his prick, and Nedward is looking at him with wide dark eyes and his stupid pouty mouth open in shock. And Sol is white knuckling the sink so hard he thinks he might rip it right out and ruin all the beautiful work he's done. This is it - he's cooked - this whole thing is crashing down around his head now, while his cock is out and the tub isn't even all the way installed.

But then Ned's pink tongue is darting out to wet his lips he palms himself with one of his big hands and his voice is low and gravely and totally filthy as he says, "Christ, Sol - you two look just as hot as I imagined."

And Tom is leaning in and snickering against his throat, and Sol doesn't know if his brain is just fully been scrambled but he doesn't understand what is happening at all. But then Tom is kissing him, and when he comes up for air there's a second pair of lips there to meet him, and it takes him a moment to realize that they're Ned's. And fuck his kiss is so hot and wet and Sol is moaning.

Needless to say he's a wreck of a man and so confused to find out that Ned has known all along that Sol and Tom were fucking - duh - there was a coordinated effort to try and get him into their bed, but that Ned was convinced Sol wasn't interested so he had backed off and just been satisfied hearing about it second-hand from Tom.

So Sol gets to have hot threesomes with two beautiful men all the time now as he finishes up the house and he takes some convincing but eventually Ned and Tom get him to agree to move into one of the spare rooms (although their bed is big enough for all three of them so it rarely gets used, actually)

and maybe Ned uses a little bit of that inheritance to loan Sol and friends what they need to start an honest-to-god historical restoration contracting company.

NOW EXPANDED: [[PART 2]]

[midwrites]

WIP tag game!!! I was tagged by @manicpixiedreamjop

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

This is gonna be a funny one because I very literally have many more WIPs than people who I interact with in this platform, but WELP, we'll make do:

Armitozer Ice!AU Electric Boogaloo

BLOODBORNE BILBAO or the Solving werewolfxpriest thing

damn your wife, I'd be your mistress (just to have you around)

I can't believe they are Jopping my Grim

La Belle Damme Sans Mercy

Local manslut inflicts therapy upon local homophobic homosexual

Solomon's little gay adventure of guilt and gay love

TozerHartnell threesome aspirations

They be Jopping my Little Pacific Rim AU

Joplittle Ghost encounters that are romantic and sad

Pacojaime Discovery Reality TV stravaganza

Harry Goodsir's adventures in the London Tube

Sanji tiene un bar de carretera can be something sooOooOO personal

The Terror murder mistery stravaganza but make them journalists

Joplitzer insanity

Sanji is a little gay boy and he hasn't processed an emotion ever

ARKANO pero esta vez si me la agarras con la mano

WHEN YOU SPEAK I HEAR SILENCE-JV TRANSISTOR AU

Tagging @redxluna @tarantula-hawk-wasp @singersargentboi @dragonflies-and-katydids @decomposingfungi @20thcenturyvole @panchostokes and whoever else wants to do it!!

[rubysharkruby]

mutton, lobster, and beef

[boilyerheid]

"this is the opposite of what i told you to do" Joplitzer? 🥺

"Why is it-" Sol shoves through the front door already mid-rant, probably taking the flat's occupants by surprise "-that me mum can understand two boyfriends better than one, and still get it completely fucking wrong?"

He stands on the backs of his trainers to get them off while his hands are occupied (yeah, yeah, he'll crease the leather and ruin them, whatever Tom) and kicks them vaguely in the direction of the shoe rack, which already holds Tom's primly polished work shoes and the scuffed tan boots Edward insists on wearing with everything. Tom's the only one with an ounce of style among them, although Sol will contest that he looks better in his dress uniform than the three of them put together on a regular day.

He's not vain, like, just not blind.

"'Ah Solomon', she says, 'it's a sex thing! Now I understand'." He puts on a truly terrible high-pitched voice for his mum and barges through to the kitchen to dump the Tesco bags on the counter, place still new enough not to be cluttered by the inevitable detritus they'll generate over the coming weeks and months (and hopefully years). "I says it's not a sex thing Mum, don't ever talk to me about sex things. 'Oh it must be a sex thing pet, you can't love more than one person at a time.' I was this sodding close to-"

He stops in his tracks in the living room doorway, eyebrows practically hitting his hairline when he gets a look at the scene in front of him. The boxes are, by and large, still just as packed as they were when he was sent on a grocery run. His boyfriends, however, are significantly more undressed - looking up at him from their position in flagrante on the sofa like deer in headlights. Tom's only lost his shirt, while beneath him Edward's down to his pants and one sock half-clinging to his foot. Well well well.

"Well well well," he folds his arms and leans against the door frame, doing his best to pull a disapproving expression. "What happened to 'you go to the shop, Sol, you'll only get distracted and horny otherwise.’"

"That wasn't what I said," Tom's already on the defensive, having been the one who sent Sol off with a flea in his ear in the first place. 'The least responsible', his arse.

"Is this not the opposite of what I told you to do?" He keeps up his stern facade as long as possible, because Edward's gone a truly lovely share of magenta and even Tom looks chastised by their little vacation away from unpacking. Wonders never cease. "We'll be sleeping on the floor at this rate."

"We were just..." Edward trails off with that sad little pout on his face, and Sol can't keep up the pretence any longer. For all that he and Tom can snipe at each other until the cows come home, their boyfriend needs a bit more gentle handling - sensitive sod.

"Shove over, then." He's delighted with how surprised they both look when he gives in and cracks a grin, yanking his shirt off to catch up. He's not vain or anything, like he said, but he'll use his body to his advantage when it makes even Tom shut his mouth for once. "I'm not putting the bed frame together after this, mind. I'm the responsible one."

He does end up putting the bed frame together later, of course, bickering with Tom about which screws are which while Edward snores naked on the sofa. Despite what his dirty-minded mum thinks, Sol wouldn't swap them for the world.

[winterlain]

thinking about these horny idiots too much lately

[spirkkock]

Going to be diseased about the modern au jopson/little/tozer idea forever. Legit sounds like the perfect story omg. There’s so much potential that I actually can’t stop thinking about it and now I want to know all the little details on how they would all interact,,

(Also if you somehow haven’t already then I’d highly recommend reading Renovation by ktula on ao3 - similar broad premise but very different details.

I was going to just say this all as a comment but I got shy lol but regardless! Very good concept, your mind is so massive for it tbh)

Omg!!! I was 100% inspired by ktula’s Renovation! I just read it last week and it’s all I can think about for real!! That fic rewired something in my brain, legitimately. I didn’t realize how much I was into Sol until I read it - he’s just so rough I need him to top me ASAP.

You don't have to feel shy! I'm just a dumb nerd who likes to think about cold boys warming up together :) say hi any time!

ANYWAY I loooove all of their dynamics so much. i have thought about this A LOT so here's way more details!!!!!!

[[PART 1]]

Nepo baby Nedward comes from a big family with lots of money. He works hard but he’s so shy and sad he couldn’t have gotten where he’s gotten (idk maybe something in finance?) without that Oxford legacy admissions because he’s such a big mopey doofus otherwise. And he’s quite ashamed of it, really, because he recognized his privilege but he can’t help it. And he’s a little out of touch because of it all but trying his best. But when grandma died no one else wanted the (modest but now, with real estate prices like they are, quite fancy) Victorian house because it’s practically falling apart, so it’s his now.

Jopson obviously also went to Oxford but on scholarship and had to work his ass off for it. He learned how to put on a wealthy affect to blend in with all the rich kids. But none of them liked him except Ned, who trailed around after him like a morose puppy begging for scraps of attention. And it pissed Tom off so much at first but eventually he realized he liked Ned - a lot actually. And he likes being in control, which is what Ned needs more than anything. And the rest is history! He’s perhaps some sort of organizer for housing justice. He’s home when he’s not yelling at city council for their proposed cheap developments that will displace entire city blocks of people for years.

(I think perhaps they’re not actually married yet. Tom doesn’t believe in marriage. He watched his father leave his mother and he’s watched too many “good men” leave her subsequently. But he and Ned make a show of it like they are - of course the Littles are less than thrilled that their only son is gay and seriously dating some kind of activist.)

Sol….. poor Sol…. He’s down on his luck for sure (not as bad as he is in ktula’s fic but still). He has a tendency of mixing business with pleasure, which really screwed him over when his former coworkers (and lovers) turned on him. It’s tough being queer in construction. So he lost his job, and now he’s taking odd jobs to do electrical work, but he’s certified for much much more than that.

Sol is also a sex fiend!!! He can’t help it, honestly, it’s just his nature. And the dry spell is killing him, but he knows he has to stay focused and snag this opportunity to work on this big beautiful house. But it’s soooo difficult because Nedward is 100% his type and his cute little husband isn’t bad either, even if he is a little unnerving. And he's constantly putting his foot in his mouth by accidentally saying something stupid and horny but it always makes Tom's eyes go dark and Ned turn a glorious pink so he keeps doing it.

At first Sol thinks Tom doesn’t trust him - his work (other than electrical) isn’t insured, since he’s not with a company, and Tom seems to know enough about housing to know that might be a bad idea. But he’s certainly cute, and he’s always buying Sol lunch from the chippie and asking him what kind of music he wants Tom to put on and eventually Sol thinks they’re maybe friends. But, by god, he’s always walking around looking like a snack in those tight, too small t shirts and booty shorts showing off the dark hair on his thighs and belly. And when he catches Sol looking he always responds with the most indecipherable, sultry expression that goes straight to Sol's cock - this environment is NOT conducive to GETTING WORK DONE. He goes home every day and jerks off thinking about what Tom and Ned might look like in bed together.

And don't get me started on Ned - he's an absolute mess of a man. He's big and a rough around the edges, obviously, but so well mannered and polite at the same time. He's always trying (and failing) to butch it up for Sol - he invites Sol to watch sports (working men like sports, right?) and drink a beer (men like Sol drink beer, right?), and maybe barbeque when the garden is finished (come on - grilling meat and drinking beer... right? Right?). And it's so misguided and silly but Sol finds it totally endearing, especially the time when Ned super excitedly offers him the most disgusting oatmeal stout he's ever had the displeasure of drinking, and so they both end up having some of Tom's Cab Sav instead. And then, of course, Sol wants to talk about notes and wine pairings with Tom and Ned goes the most alluring shade of scarlet because he's spent so much time and energy going down the WRONG avenues to woo Sol.

And Sol doesn't know this until later, but Ned gets off so hard after the fact when Tom teases him mercilessly about making a fool of himself in front of Sol. He absolutely gets a shame boner any time he embarrasses himself, and it gets so much worse (better) when Sol and Tom start screwing because it makes Ned feel like a voyeur and a pervert. He loves hearing all the titillating details of their salacious affair. Of course Tom knows all of this and completely milks it. His favorite thing to do is drive Ned into a mild moral panic. And it's just too easy easy with regard to Sol.

[spirkkock]

trying to distract myself from the election by thinking about joplitzer fucking nasty style and editing chapter 7 of my stupid little obikin fic help

[boilyerheid]

Kinktober 1: Hold Fast (bondage)

"There we are, Sergeant."

The last knot is tightened around his wrists - some quick release thing that had been briefly explained but he hadn't wanted the details of, he's not here to think, intends to lose brain cells if anything - and everything inside him goes blissfully quiet for the first time in years. Sol's head lolls just slightly forwards and Jopson catches it with his palm, chuckling softly at the involuntary display.

"Comfy, are we?"

HOLD FAST

[boilyerheid]

joplitzer wasnt something I had ever considered and my eyes have been opened!!

un/fortunately they're getting a full fic from me so keep yer eyes peeled