#edit: or im overreacting
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Every day I stray further from God. (Find out I may have another symptom autism)
#mark maunders#/lh hj#this. isnt even funny#<- idk half of my posts arent funny so-#im getting concerned /vvlh neu#it might not even be autism it could be something else but still-#edit: or im overreacting
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psa, just cos there are resources out there for you to make racist, bigoted and nasty mods, doesn't mean you should do it. Stop changing peoples faces, races and sexualities, just how the vanilla base game is there? well just how you don't have to play the game at all if you don't like how the characters look, just say you're a racist and a bigot and be done with it.
Btw I left the comment and 5 minutes it was gone LMAO. I guess I'm banned from their mods for good, how will I cope.
#this was left on the new panam face change mod#and it's fucking weird truly#just like the pres myers one#why would you dewrinkle her?!#like you hate older women???????#leave women alone i beg#maybe im just overreacting but damn#cyberpunk 2077#edit: they took the whole comment thread down now xDDD#love that
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Madness time
Original video:
youtube
#cursed#my video edits#help im overreacting#shitpost#shitty headcanons#opm#one punch man#saitama#genos#king#speed o sound sonic#Youtube
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Y’all remember in BB7 when Dr. Will stood up during a veto meeting and told his houseguests he hated all of them and to vote him out?
Or in BB10 when Dan played puppet master with 4 of the houseguests at the veto meeting to get his nomination roulette game into motion so he could put Michelle up and take some of the blame off himself?
Or in BB12 when Brendon won the veto and in his veto speech Andrew told the house he was going after Brendon and Rachel and then proceeded to still ask for Brendon to use the veto on him?
Or also in BB12 when Brendon called Britney, who had the veto, a spoiled brat during a veto meeting?
Or in BB16 when the second veto meeting became an entire house meeting to expose Devin’s game?
Or in BB3 when Marcellas’ dumbass decided to not use the veto and got himself sent home?
Or hell even LAST SEASON in BB24 when the Leftovers formed to protect each other, and especially Taylor, so they concocted a speech for Turner to use in the veto meeting where he called out the houses dogpiling and mistreatment in regards to Taylor and how he shouldn’t have to call out that kind of behavior to a group of people all older than him and he proceeded to blindside the other side of the house by putting up Ameerah and Terrance?
Hisam’s speech wasn’t even close to any of the chaoticness or hilarity or iconicness of any of these past veto meetings tbh.
#unless this was a very very choppy edit#i think the house overreacted😭#it was pretty tamed compared to anything i listed up there#and theres more iconic ones i cant remember im sure#but hisams speech was so normal#im baffled the house was shook by it#bb25
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I think the biggest red flag for me regarding the hopelesspeaches and lio convoy stuff, their entire group (especially lio) has near identical speech patterns and dynamics as my mom's online friend group. Which is less of a red flag and more of a raging wildfire tbh
#I listened to all the calls when they 'leaked' but I didn't know they were leaks I thought lio posted that stuff proudly#I didn't know that they weren't meant to be seen by the public until just now lol#Anyways I'm pleasantly surprised people are talking about how fucked up they were#Bc tbh when I was like 'oh this makes peaches (and everyone else) look like a bitch kinda' the first time I heard the calls-#I thought I was maybe being too judgey or sensitive or something?#But now everyone else is like 'yeah they are all being bitches actually' im like. Oh! So I understood right and wasn't just overreacting#Mostly bc lio was ranting about being a conservative Christian and weird 'nuclear family values' on one call and my immediate thought was#'oh gross Im too biased against this man to be able to look at this-#-discussion objectively. I'm gonna think he sucks regardless of the situation and therefore idk lf im a fair judge ?'#So it's cool to get confirmation from other ppl saying 'oh no ur right he sucks and here's why'#this is the 2nd time this week I got 'no youre not just overreacting. Other ppl are upset too' validation abt a topic. cool#//shade#I'm sure there's plenty of found family groups online that are great but so many of the ones i hear abt feel like a cult imo#My mom is in a group where this dude calls her and other women there his daughters like lio does to peaches and it feels gross to me idk#Ik everyone craves found family connections but. Idkk it feels weird to be taking that in a literal sense and calling them dad/my daughter#Feels like introducing unnecessary power dynamics.#Theres a difference between 'oh this person is like family to me because we're so close'#vs 'oh i am adopting this person and assuming a parental position over them'. that sounds unhealthy I think ?#Edit I just found out lio posted a response but it's midnight and I have a date tomorrow I'm not watching that rn lol#imo both him and peaches are bad and idc if one is worse than the other or whatever.#Peaches has been two faced for a while; lio might've taken advantage of her bc he's kinda creepy. They're both saying the other abused them#This is like jade and julian talking shit about each other to me. Idc guys I hate both of u srry <3#Iykyk
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So I guess ao3 is down
If it doesn't come back I dunno if I'll be able to continue heartstrings
I can for sure continue heartbeat though
Idk guys 🤷♀️
#panicking all day#wtf#but#ill try#ill really try#i dont wanna give up on heartstrings if ao3 doesnt come back???#im just overreacting- but this is definitely a lesson to backup my work#i mean i do have a backup but its the non-edited version.#really shitty
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am i allowed to be upset
#this happened a few days ago but#my editor sent me the final edit of our short film and he said it's the final cut and he won't be editing anymore#n that this shit isn't even paid or graded#the final cut was still so bad and ugly i really hate it#but i felt so disrespected when he said this isn't even paid or graded n that will only be a part of our portfolios#this isnt graded or paid coz this is literally a campus-wide film fest#idk i just can't stop thinking abt it#n how i allowed him to disrespect me like that#like i know as the director i should've stood up for myself but instead i just said thanks for ur hard work im sorry for all the hassle#im just really upset coz i know it could still be better . like WAY better#if i weren't so scared to tell him the truth#idk#i still need to cut like 5 mins off coz we're way over the time limit hahahaha but he doesn't wanna do it#im so sad im so upset n i judt cant stop thinking abt it or am i overreacting or overthinking or whateve#sorry ik this is long i just had to share coz i'm too scared to open this up to my team or my friends#OH I FORGOT TO MENTION A FEW THINGS#we had 6 drafts before submitting the final one#i have like an ENTIRE file of revisions n he didnt do them all!!!! which is why he made 6 drafts :/
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not the way they absolutely fucking OBLITERATED my poem in the edits
#HELLO??? they took out the rhythm the cadence my voice?#it reads so bizarrely on tempo like a march rn#it was supposed to flow#i don't- how do i tell them i hate what they've done#and the ending line!! the ending line was the CRUX of the idea of cycles of generational trauma and mental illness!! and they TOOK IT OUT#i...okay. maybe im overreacting. i literally just read their edits. but im...upset#gonna think for a little while before i reply back#sorry besties i just...needed to get this out somewhere
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cw ai, suicidal ideation, negativity of all things to not regulate. why AI
#just saw some jpn AI regulatory news being shared in some of the ethical AI servers im in and like#“nah copyright just doesnt apply actually. lol have fun” okay ill kms then!#jpn already has an issue with creatives and workers overworking. this will only make the issue worse!#theres nothing people can do about having their entire identities stolen? ok#negative#ai bs#cw suicidal ideation#like what will there be left to live for lol#cant even create as a hobby because corps will feed anything I share digitally into a machine without my permission!#secret zine club where we physically meet and read each others works (you cant take home a copy)#its viscerally like. evil to me. to just steal someones voice and edit it freely. lol which is what this is about in this case#thats. one of the closest things to being part of their soul. what are you ursula?#why are we in the Bad timeline dude. i hope like hell this somehow comes out in the wash#like this is all some big overreaction on our parts and itll become normal and it isnt as bad as we think#but... idk
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the only posts of mine that get any attention are my shitty renders but i dont even like rendering most of the time and it makes me not want to post anything
#the render i posted like two days ago has more notes than my last four gameplay posts combined#and it only took me like twenty minutes to make#meanwhile my lookbooks and gameplay that take me forever to make/edit ALWAYS flop#i dont know what to do anymore lol#im convinced simblr only likes renders or ultra high quality aesthetic screenshots with reshade#sorry if im like overreacting i had a bad day#and now i feel worse#and i have a headache so im going to bed#shut up rebecca
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Do you ever like psychologically analyze yourself at 8 in the morning
#like my insistence on emotional independence#and refusal to express vulnerable feelings like sadness anxiety insecurity etc#has lead to it being like extra fucked when i do break and get emotional#im fine rn#but last night i was like ‘wow i really wanna talk to someone. oh but im brain weird right now so i shouldn’t’#and it’s like. why not? but the answer is that like#i dont have many people to talk to#and the ones i do. theyre either on the ‘dont be vulnerable with them’ list#or the ‘has already seen me break and get emotional so i cant make them think its for attention’ list#which is like. kinda insane because i did want attention yknow#just like. acknowledgement and to hang out a bit#but if im in a weird brain state it’s like. there’s a good chance ill get emotional and weird#and i always feel like i sound manipulative and attention-seeking when i let people see me like that#i REGULARLY think about the time i got like that with a group chat one time ages ago#where i was like ‘hiiii brainweird. chat?’#and then something upset me and i got really annoying about it#so now i just like. low key refuse to go near anyone from there when im at all upset or in a weird brain state#just in case it’s the last straw yknow#blegh i always feel gross writing venty posts but like#if i dont get the thoughts out ill explode#i especially feel gross if there’s a chance that like. someone i talk to or a friend will see it#like even though i dont think anything of other peoples vent posts#im like. oh god. you dont need to see this#vent#edit follow-up: im also bad at gauging how people are actually reacting to me#so i usually overreact and get really upset if i think someone is mad or annoyed at me#but then i also cant tell if im being too much#or making someone uncomfortable#and its like. aghhh i cant talk to people until i Fix This!!!
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Short version wasn't cursed enough 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
#my translation attempts#cursed#help im overreacting#my video edits#shitpost#opm#one punch man#saitama#speed o sound sonic
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#okay complaining again and i cant tell if im overreacting this time or what#but this has been plaguing my brain since yesterday /neg#so i brought in a piece to submit to the art show and my professor looks at the information and goes ‘why dont you want to sell it?’#and i go ‘because i like it too much’ and without hesitation she goes ‘thats a terrible excuse’#and then proceeds to go on a rant about how you should always try to sell your art at art shows and told us we’ll regret it if we dont#but in my head ofc i feel like shes yelling at me for not wanting to sell my art#like. 1: i havent drawn anything i actually like in months aside from a few projects#and 2: why does it matter so much to her that i dont sell *my art* this time around#the world will still go on even if i dont sell it :/#i wasnt gonna let her be the reason i put that up for sale. especially not under that influence#if im really proud of something and id like for it to be sold. then i will gladly do so#im not just gonna have her get on my ass about not selling my art and have her be the reason i sell a piece just bc she kinda yelled at me#and i understand shes coming from experience but like.#dawg im gonna think youre yelling at me and pressuring me if this is the way youre going with it :/#ik that professors are supposed to push you and thats great. but she kinda. makes me want to quit taking college art classes altogether#uuurrghhggh#:/#kazzy complains#maybe im overthinking it#maybe its just me being a bit overly sensitive and crabby as of recently but that doesnt make it sting any less#sorry ive been complaining a lot recently i just. really havent felt that great in a hot minute and its kinda getting worse#im certain its because of biological reasons coming up but rrgghghhhrghh bark bark bark bark#edit: NO BECAUSE AT THJS POINT I JUST SHOULDVE TOLD HER I DIDNT WANT TO SELL IT JUST BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO.#AT THIS FUCKING POINT
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I have a confession to make
I uh
Misspelled magnifying glass
Can we uhm. ignore that
And call it magniglass shipping and act like I didn't suggest it misspelt
Or is it permanent now :,)
LEGO REFUSES TO GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT
LESBIANS
I HEREBY DUB THEM MAGNEGLASS SHIPPING (thanks to @im-a-samwich)
#if its permanent its okay#ill just live with the knowledge that ive done something embarrassing#edit: ik im overreacting just a little bit... its one letter not that big a deal..#i was just excited#and now its got a bit of a damper on it for me lol#edit(again): everyone and their mothers has reblogged this now#i dont think we could change it even if we tried#its just the way it is now#magneglass shipping it is
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Toxic Traits/Red Flags HC
Characters: Arthur, Javier, John, Lenny, Dutch, Micah, Charles, Sean, Hosea, Mary Beth, Abigail, Tilly, Karen, Sadie, Molly
(A/N): WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS DAWG. I LOVED @cowboyfromh3ll 's take on that shit sm and these hcs have literally been swimming in my head for weeeeeeeeks bro
Edit: some of these were kinda hard because there's not a lot of bad in the characters themselves... I had trouble with specifically Charles, Lenny, Mary Beth, and Tilly. Sorry if they may be OOC. IM EVEN DOING THE GIRLS BECAUSE IM IN A SILLY GOOFY MOOD
Content Warning: female reader, jealousy, self hate, narcissism, gaslighting, physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, mentions of murder and violence, mentions of infidelity, mentions of sex (Sean, Micah, Sadie kind of) (MINORS DNI)
Not edited btw
The boys
Arthur Morgan
- Honestly, I feel like Arthur would have this insane, crippling fear of rejection, especially when it comes to dating. - His self hate/deprecation plays a huge part in this, and quite honestly, him and Mary not working out probably also probably contributed to it. - Very emotionally distant. Has a hard time expressing his feelings openly due to that same fear of rejection.🚩 - Bottles shit up until he feels like he's gonna explode 🚩 - His impulse control is almost nonexistent 🚩 - Will resort to saying things that he doesn't even mean. He just says things when he's angry🚩 - Will hate himself even more if he makes you cry - Won't hesitate to run away from camp for a while to cool off. This isn't necessarily a bad thing per se, but he usually takes his time away to overthink the fuck out of everything - Prone to acting violent. (not to someone he cared about, but to other people, absolutely)Also due to his poor impulse control. 🚩
Javier Escuella
- Has a flirty personality, but around women, it just seems to get worse. 🚩 - Tells you you're overreacting if you tell him it bothers you🚩 - Overprotective of you. Always has his eyes on you, and practically orders you to stay in camp where it's safe. - As if you step one foot outside the camp without him, you'll spontaneously drop dead - Jealous asf. Are you laughing at what Bill just said? It wasn't even that funny. Why are you standing so close to him? You should be at least 6 feet away from him, not 5 and a half. 🚩 - Also has a problem with how you dress sometimes. God forbid your shirt is ever low cut. He'd probably ask you to change. 🚩 - And if you get offended or upset, he'll lie and tell you it's because he can't stop staring at your chest, and he'd like to focus of whatever it was he was doing.🚩
John Marston
- Stubborn as all hell. Doesn't listen to anybody for anything.🚩 - Commitment issues up the ass - Says mean things out of anger and sometimes actually means them 🚩 - Won't apologize half the time. He thinks kissing it better actually makes it better 🚩 - Regularly ignores his own bad habits instead of actually facing them 🚩 - Will run away from problems like Arthur, but worse. He'd be gone a really long time.🚩 - Gets annoyed with you if you get angry at him for leaving and staying away for a while. He told you he needed space, didn't he? What else do you need from him?? 🚩 - Ignorantly clueless half the time. Head empty, no thoughts.
Lenny Summers
- Not assertive in the slightest, and usually, respectfully, keeps to himself. -Takes orders without verbal complaints but inside he's annoyed as fuck 🚩 - Even if he hates doing something he'll probably just go "Okay" and do it anyway, and he'll sulk all day afterwards - Refuses to tell you what's wrong because he thinks he'll sound childish.🚩 - If you push the issue, he might snap at you out of annoyance like "Would you just let it be??" - Immediately feels guilty and shameful, and he'll hide away until he's ready to apologize and face you again - Also kind of a know-it-all... He'll correct you a LOT. It would get annoying 🚩 - Would blatantly tell you you're wrong before correcting you🚩 - Not necessarily an asshole about it but he still tends to get under your skin sometimes
Dutch Van Der Linde
- The BIGGEST Narcissist you'll ever meet.🚩 -He loses another piece of his mental state with every breath he takes. Slowly but surely losing his mind.🚩 - King of gaslighting🚩 - How could you even think that about him? He could never do anything wrong! You must be crazy...🚩 - Tries to recite his "pretty words" from Evelyn Miller to try and sound smarter than he actually is 🚩 - Expects you to just feed his ego without him actually doing anything to earn it🚩 - Will try to correct you even when he's wrong🚩 - Refuses to admit he's wrong. He can never be wrong. That word isn't even in his vocabulary unless he's talking about literally anyone but himself🚩
Micah Bell
- Where do I even start with this guy - Not above putting his hands on you if he doesn't get his way. Let's be honest here.🚩 - Mega Narccisist, almost as bad as Dutch 🚩 - Will brag and share every sexual encounter you've ever had with him like he's talking about the weather🚩 - VERY prone to Violence 🚩 - NO impulse control. Murders people for fun.🚩 - Backhanded and borderline abusive compliments 24/7 "You'd look so good if you weren't so fucking fat..." 🚩 - Selfish lover. Thinks just sticking it in will do the trick, and it does, for him at least.🚩 - Little to no affection. What are you? His girlfriend? Wait...🚩 -If he actually does show you affection, and you react in surprise, he'll tell you to go fuck yourself, and that that's the last time he ever does anything nice for you.🚩
Charles Smith
- Impossible to read sometimes - Like Arthur, Charles tends to keep a lot of his emotions bottled up until he feels like he's gonna pop 🚩 - Like most of the men in the Van Der Linde gang, Charles is also prone to acting violently. I mean, he started a bar fight with a fucking chair, and he fights in street fighting rings, let's be real for a second.🚩 - He's incredibly quiet and reserved a lot of the time, and sometimes you just assume that he's listening to you when you talk, but a lot of the time, he's lost in his own thoughts. - Will do everything anyone asks him to at the expense of his own free time and energy, and sometimes he works himself to exhaustion just to try and please everyone.🚩 - In doing so, he sometimes doesn't have time for himself at the end of the day. It also seems like you spend time together less and less as the days go on. - If he ever got himself hurt and you tried to help him, he'd decline any help with anything to save his own pride. The last thing he needs is you thinking he's weak. 🚩 - Extremely Overprotective. Like to the point where he'd beat the shit out of anybody you asked him to🚩
Sean Macguire
- An Alcoholic🚩 - horny 99% of the time, but half that time he probably has whiskey dick. Still asks you to try but doesn't understand that it's like trying to play pool with a rope... - If he can manage to be sober enough to actually get it up, and you're not in the mood, he'd get pissy and annoyed with you for "wasting his boner" 🚩 - Will probably also brag about having sex with you to everyone🚩 - Needy as all hell - Bro sulks on purpose - Low key loves the attention you give him when you continue to ask him what's wrong, but he never actually tells you and constantly says "I'm fine..." or "It's nothing..." 🚩 - But then sighs dramatically and continues sulking and dragging his feet so you keep giving him more attention 🚩
Hosea Matthews
- Ignores his physical health until he's practically dying. You've told him to get that cough looked at for literal years and he just says "I will" and does nothing 🚩 - sometimes talks to you as if you're a child especially if he's around Dutch -low key gaslights you sometimes 🚩 - and he says it with such a gentle tone, its hard to catch it 🚩
The girls
Mary Beth Gaskill
- Daydreams way too much - Likes to live in her romance novel fantasy land rather than face reality 🚩 - Cries a lot - Tries to be angry but can't help but cry instead - If crying makes you feel bad for her, she'll probably do it on purpose so you comfort her and give her attention🚩 -If you're in a fight, she'll turn on the crocodile tears to get you to stop being angry with her or whatever it is you're arguing about.🚩
Abigail Roberts
- She can be verbally abusive if she's pushed far enough 🚩 - Holds in a lot of her emotions🚩 - Neglectful of her own personal needs to make sure you or Jack are fully provided or cared for🚩 - a lot of the time, when she's upset with you, you're probably given the cold shoulder and the silent treatment - incredibly protective. Not necessarily a bad thing, but she can sometimes be super overbearing.
Tilly Jackson
- Tells it how she sees it, sometimes accidentally sounding a lot colder than she means to 🚩 - Too sarcastic for her own good 🚩 - Laughs a little too much sometimes when you tell a joke, and you can often tell it's actually incredibly fake🚩 - gets irritated really easily, especially if she's bothered while doing her chores. The last thing she needs is Grimshaw on her ass again.🚩 - irritable a lot of the time, unintentionally becoming short or snapping at you - like john, she also believes that kissing it better is better than actually apologizing
Karen Jones
- An alcoholic 🚩 - picks fights with you for fun, finds it entertaining to see how red your face can get from anger 🚩 - Screaming matches are a regular occurance between you guys, and she starts it almost every time 🚩 - Pretty jealous when it comes to the opposite sex🚩 - Has self doubt and believes that she can't give you everything a man probably could
Sadie Adler
- The nosiest woman in America. No chill. She reads everyone's mail. - Makes a lot of loose threats 🚩 - Anger issues🚩 - Low impulse control🚩 - Can be a little too rough sometimes 🚩 - If she's upset with you, she'll either yell or storm off. Sometimes both. 🚩 -(She tends to walk away a lot more often because she's actuall self aware that her anger issues are a problem) - She'd never admit that to you though.
Molly O'Shea
- Even more jealous than Javier🚩 - Glares at and envies anyone you talk to that isn't her🚩 - Has immaginary conversations with people in her head🚩 - Rubbing her hands together when the real life conversations are following the script she had planned out in her brain - Needs constant reassurance - "D'you even love me anymore?!"🚩 - Overthinks everything 🚩 - Paranoid as hell about infidelity - Gets mad at you when she dreams about you cheating on her🚩
#arthur morgan x reader#lenny summers x reader#micah bell x reader#dutch van der linde x reader#sean macguire x reader#charles smith x reader#javier escuella x reader#john marston x reader#hosea matthews x reader#mary beth gaskill x reader#tilly jackson x reader#karen jones x reader#sadie adler x reader#abigail marston x reader#abigail roberts x reader#toxic traits#hcs#headcannons#CANT FORGET THIS ONE#MOLLY O'SHEA X READER#anon 🤡#female reader
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im having an anxiety spiral on my priv twt bcuz of vague ails and im sharing it here because the tail end made me laugh (and also because sharing my woes is like my number 1 hobby)
EDIT: ADDING POLL TO CROWDSOURCE REASSURANCE FOR ANXIETY
#IM NOT GONNA DIE RIGHT.....SOMEONE TELL ME I WONT DIE....THIS IS JUST A MOUTH SORE...IT'S FINE....#RIGHT???? //shaking and trembling#dootdootdoot#when i tell yall my anxiety has been worse this month i really really mean it i feel physically ill w all the anxiety i have#whats making the ''what if it's not a mouth sore'' anxiety worse is that i cant see the sore when i open my mouth and take a looksie#and i cant feel it with my tongue because my tongue cant reach the site#but it stings when i gargle or eat or drink so i kNOW it's there#but god what if it's something worse. what if it's mouth cancer. I CANT GOOGLE MOUTH CANCER OR ELSE I WILL SPIRAL HARDER#what if i just laid down on the floor and curl up into a ball and cry. oh wait no i cant do that because work today is cRAZY
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