#eddie is a softy

[lordofthenerds97]

Wasting Away: Chapter 6

Rating: M for eventual chapters, mild cursing, and nonexplicit sexual content Pairing: Eddie x Reader, Past Billy x Reader, and onesided Steve x Reader if you squint Summary: You were broken. Falling apart. Trying to put yourself back together. Whatever the hell they wanted to call it. All you knew was you were hurting. The Upside Down had been the bane of your existence for a long time. But now you had a reason to hate it. Will your hatred be enough to help take down the latest in a long line of monsters? TW FOR THIS CHAPTER: • Mild Panic Attack • Survivor's Guilt • Mentions of Therapy Masterlist

The bell dinged above you as you walked into the small mechanic’s shop. You paused for a moment, the smell of motor oil, grease, and fumes hitting your nose. 

“Hold on!”

You barely registered the voice calling out to you as you looked around. Things had changed since the last time you’d been in there. The shelves had been moved around, other racks had been added, and there were even displays set up. The small and miscellaneous parts had been organized and were hanging in their proper places with the price tags displayed neatly above them. “Damn,” you muttered. Before Mack’s wife, Helen, had retired, the place was more well kept than what Mack himself would do. But you hadn’t ever seen it like this. 

The last time you’d been in there with Billy, you had to help him dig through multiple bins to find the right wrenches and screws he needed.

Mack’s small shop had definitely gotten an upgrade. 

“Hey sweetheart,”

You looked up from the shelf at the sound of the familiar voice. “Eddie?”

He had poked his head through the door leading to the actual shop, grinning at you. “What’s up?”

“I didn’t know you worked here,” you said dumbly. You were pretty sure the expression on your face matched the tone of your voice.  

He chuckled. “What, do you think Mack managed to do all this himself?” he asked as he stepped behind the counter. His hair was tied into a messy bun at the base of his neck to keep it out of his face as he worked. He looked at the oil filter you were holding. “That all you need, doll?”

You smiled. That explained all the upgrades. But then his question registered, and you pursed your lips. “Actually, no…”

He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms as he leaned against the old counter beside the register. “I’m at your service.”

Taking a breath, you looked at him hopefully. “I need to see about ordering some specialty parts, and how much it’s going to cost.”

That caught his interest. “Really? What are you working on?”

You sighed. “A pet project…one that’s going to take a long time to finish.”

Hearing the tone of your voice, Eddie softened. “Alrighty. Whatcha need?”

Realizing he wasn’t going to push you for more information, your eyes lit up and you smiled at him. You wanted to tell him about the “surprise” that Dustin and Steve had set up for you. But if you were being honest with yourself, you were still trying to wrap your head around what they had done. “A few things. Let’s start with a four barrel Holley carburetor.” 

Eddie grabbed a notepad from the opposite side of the register and began writing. “Uh huh,”

“Rear drum brakes for a ‘78 Chevy,”

“Mhm.”

“Probably a new vacuum modulator.”

He continued to scribble as you listed off a few more parts. He listened patiently as you went down the list. You couldn’t help but wince as you continued telling him what you needed. It was a long list. And it was going to be expensive. 

“That should be it.”

He looked at the list and let out a low whistle. “Damn, sweetheart. Looks like you’ve got a hell of a project going on.”

You let out a snort. “Bit of an understatement,” you muttered. In actuality, you were pretty much rebuilding the entire thing from scratch. And at the moment, you were thanking God above that Billy had taught you so much about his car. “Gonna take me a while.” 

Eddie pursed his lips and read over the list. “Well, I think I might have a spare modulator laying around. Just changed a few out and we ordered some extras. ‘78, you said, right?”

You nodded. 

“Cool. Drum brakes were going to be on our next order, we just ran out. That Holley is probably gonna not take the prettiest penny.” 

You nodded. That wasn’t a surprise. 

“All in all sweetheart…you’re looking at about $2,500, give or take.”

That was actually a little less than you had been expecting, considering the amount of parts you needed to get. “Not bad,” you said. 

Eddie looked at you. “Are you gonna want to order now or wait a bit?”

You paused for a moment, chewing on your bottom lip as you thought. “I’ll get the modulator, the filter, and preorder the brakes for now.”

He nodded. “Gotcha. Both sets?”

“Yep.”

“Cool. I’ll make sure we order those today. They should be here the end of the week.” 

“Nice.”

He grabbed a binder from under the counter and flipped through it, looking for what you assumed was the part numbers. He mumbled to himself as he scanned the laminated pages and tapped a few things into the register. “Three hundred twenty five and thirty-two cents.” he said, looking up at you. “That okay?”

You nodded, setting your small bag onto the counter to dig through and find your wallet. “How long have you worked here?” you asked.

He shrugged. “A year or so. Mack liked to keep me in the back for a while. He needed an extra set of hands in the shop. Said he couldn’t find any mechanics worth a shit.”

You snorted. “Sounds like Mack.”

“Not to sound like a stereotype,” he said, looking up at you as you handed him four hundred. “But where’d you learn to work on cars?”

Your throat tightened momentarily. You cleared it before you spoke. “Billy,” you said. “He was determined to teach me everything he could. Said he wanted me to know what was going on and to make sure that I wouldn’t get swindled. It helped that he was always working on his car. I learned a lot.” 

He nodded. “Good. Thankfully Mack isn’t like a lot of other mechanics, but I’ve seen plenty of assholes in my time try and take advantage of a woman who doesn’t know shit about her car. I’m glad you know what you’re doing.” 

You laughed. “I don’t think I know exactly what I’m doing, but I think I can wing it for the most part.”

Eddie chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Sweetheart, I don’t think this pet project is something you should wing. Sounds important. And expensive.” 

“Eh, we’ll see.”  you said with a smile. “Thanks Eddie.” 

“No problem.” He grinned at you. “Aside from working on your special project, what else are you up to on this fine afternoon?”

You sighed and took the bag that he offered you. “Trying to catch up on homework. I managed most of what Dusty brought me when I missed a few days last week. Now I just have to try and stomach the assignments I have tonight.”

Eddie snorted. “I understand. Seems to me like teachers should spend more time teaching us what will actually get us by in this world instead of the infinite numbers of pi.”

“Seriously,” you said. “I’m trying to keep up with what I have, plus trying to keep my grades up while I look at different colleges.”

He raised an eyebrow and resumed his casual stance leaning against the counter. “College? I didn’t think that was an aspiration of yours.”

You shrugged. “Honestly, it’s more to keep my parents happy than anything. I don’t particularly want to go to college, but hey, there’s always something to learn.” 

“Any idea on what you’d want to study?”

A sigh escaped your lips. “I don’t know…I love science though. If I did actually go, I’d probably pick something in that area.” You laughed before adding on, “Honestly, you’d probably think I’m crazy if I told you the type of reading I do for fun.”

His expression turned serious. “Sweetheart, I’ve seen and heard a lot out of you, and I haven’t ever thought you’re crazy. I doubt there’s anything you could say that would make me think that.”

What if I told you there was an alternate dimension that has portals in Hawkins and has repeatedly split the fabric of the universe apart? What if I told you that it wasn’t an explosion that killed Billy, it was a telepathic monster made of the flesh and bones of the humans it had him lure to it’s lair?

You fought back the intrusive thoughts and tried to laugh. “You really wanna know?” you asked. 

He nodded enthusiastically. “If you’re interested in it, then its got to be something worth knowing about.” 

You snorted and laughed. “Fine. I like reading about nuclear physics and quantum mechanics.”

His expression was more than a little shocked. “You wanna run that by me again, sweetheart? Just to make sure I heard you right?”

“Um…nuclear physics and quantum mechanics?”

Eddie shook his head. “How the hell did you get into that?”

The Upside Down. Finding a way to stop it.

You shrugged. “There’s a lot in this world we don’t understand. But one day I’d like to be able to. Plus, when you actually read and research, it’s not that hard to understand.”

He nodded. “I think if someone sets their mind to something, then nothing is impossible.”

“Exactly!” You grinned at him. Then an idea popped into your head. “Hey, what’re you doing Saturday night?”

He shrugged. “Not a lot. Coffin has a gig at 12, but before that I’m probably just going to be sitting at home. Why? What’s up?”

“My parents are having some old friends over. I don’t really want to be there, but I promised my mom I would try. She said I could have a friend over too. Would you…would you want to come?”

“Are you asking me on a date, sweetheart? And meeting your parents already?” he teased. 

You laughed. “Talk about moving fast.” you said with a chuckle. “Honestly, I need someone that’s not going to make me feel like jumping off the roof instead of socializing.” 

He nodded. “I understand. Getting yourself back out there after being isolated for so long can be hard.”

“Yeah…and right now I want nothing to do with anyone.” 

Eddie laughed. “I understand that too. What time?”

“You’ll come?” you asked hopefully. 

“Yeah sweetheart, I’ll come. But you gotta let me know what I’m walking into.” he said with a chuckle. “I’m not exactly everyone’s favorite person.” 

Reaching beside him, you grabbed the notebook and pencil he’d been using earlier. “Really nice couple. Known my parents for a long time. They have a kid, but she’s actually pretty cool. Kind of reminds me of Dustin.” After writing down your address, you slid the paper back to him. “They’re gonna love you.”

He raised an eyebrow when he saw the street name, realizing you lived in one of the more upscale areas of Hawkins. “Sounds like fun.” 

You beamed at him and he couldn’t help but smile back. “They’re supposed to come at six. But if you want to come a little earlier, I can introduce you to my parents.”

“Sure. I’ll be there.” 

~*~*~*~

“Honey? You home?”

“Yeah mom!” you called as you shut the front door behind you. You slipped out of your converse and put them on the rack. “I just went by Mack’s.” 

She came around the corner to meet you, wiping her hands on a dish towel. “Did you get what you needed?” Her expression was hopeful and you smiled. 

“Not all of it, but I got a good start! Eddie was really helpful. Shocked at how much it was gonna cost, but helpful.” 

“Oh, the mechanic? He changed the oil in the Jeep for me last week. Seems to be a nice kid.” 

You nodded. “I go to school with him.” you said. “Actually…I think I might be making friends?” 

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh?” 

“Yeah…funny story, actually.” 

Your mom grinned and took the bag from your hands. “Come on. Tell me about it.” 

You chuckled and followed her into the kitchen. She grabbed two cans of coke from the fridge and handed you one before settling in her chair and looking at you expectantly. 

“So you know the Hellfire Club? The DnD club Dustin and the guys joined?” 

She nodded before rolling her eyes. “You wouldn’t believe the rumors circulating about it.” 

You snorted. “I’m sure they’re al saying that it’s a cult and they’re worshipping the devil.” 

Your mom laughed. “Pretty much.” 

“Doesn’t surprise me.” 

“Me either. Anyways, continue.” 

You cracked open the soda and took a sip. “Eddie is the Dungeon Master. I’ve heard Dustin rant and rave about him. He and Mike have been trying to get me to join a campaign soon, which is happened next weekend by the way. Dustin was hanging around with me during lunch last week and out of nowhere Eddie drops down at our table being all loud ‘n shit. Scares the bejesus out of me and sends me into an attack.” 

The concern on her face warmed your cheeks. 

“Dustin kind of blanked…it was actually Eddie that coached me through. Surprised me, really. And he even checked on me after school to make sure I was okay.” 

She nodded. “I don’t know much about him, just some small talk after he changed the oil, but he seems like a good kid.” 

You nodded. “Dustin has nothing but good to say about him. People at school? Not so much. But he’s actually really great.” You bit your lip, not knowing how much you should divulge. “He lost some family…that’s why he’s with his uncle. Someone he was close to used to have panic attacks…he was the only one who could get them through.” 

Your mom hummed quietly. “I’m glad he’s helped you.” 

“Me too.” You smiled slightly. “He’s brought me breakfast at school to make sure I’m eating. I guess Dustin was a little tattle tale.” 

She chuckled. “He’s just watching out for you, honey. I for one, am glad he is.” 

You rolled your eyes. “With how many people are ‘watching out for me’, I feel like I’m under a microscope.” 

She snorted. “You’re too pretty to be a specimen.” 

That actually made you laugh. “Thanks.” 

“Oh, did you get a chance to talk to Steve about Saturday? I saw him in the store earlier, he was asking about you.”

“Actually…I thought about asking Eddie to come?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying that as a statement or a question?”

You shrugged. “Well, what do you think? I feel pretty comfortable around him, and I know he can help me through a panic attack.”

She hummed again. “I’d say I want you to think about it.” she said honestly.

You frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” she started, “You’ve been pretty private since the accident. You barely talk to Steve, and I know Nancy and Robin don’t come around as much as they used to. Dustin has pretty much been the only one who can talk you into doing something.”

Your frown only deepened. 

Sensing that she was dancing around the point, your mom sighed. “Do you want me to put it bluntly?”

You nodded. 

“Honey, you haven’t been social with anyone since Billy died. Do you think you’re trying to put something on Eddie that he doesn’t need to carry?”

Then it hit you. Your immediate reaction was to get angry. You were pretty sure the expression on your face reflected that. But you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “Mom.” you said. “Billy isn’t replaceable. I loved him.” You held up your left hand, “I was going to marry him after I graduated. If I was ever going to think about dating someone again, it wouldn’t be this soon, and it sure as hell wouldn’t be anyone from this shitty town.” 

Tears were flowing freely at this point and you didn’t bother to hold them back. You didn’t think you’d be able to even if you tried. “I know I’ve been a terrible friend for everyone, Max most of all, but I’ve been trying. And since I’ve started trying, I’ve been having more and more panic attacks. I’m putting myself out there again. Sure, I know them, but that doesn’t make a difference. I love all of them, and I would lose my goddamn mind if anything happened to them. Especially after the accident. I can’t lose anyone else. That’s why I was trying to keep my distance. That’s why I closed myself off to them.” 

She could tell that you were starting to hyperventilate. She reached for your hand, which you latched onto. Your chest tightened as you continued pushing the words out. “Eddie definitely reminds me of Billy, which is why its hard to be around him sometimes. But he’s his own person. No one can ever take Billy’s place.” You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down. If you kept going at this pace, you knew it would end in another panic attack. And that was something you were desperately trying to avoid. 

“Eddie didn’t judge me when I fell apart in front of him. Instead, he helped me get myself together and made sure I was okay afterwards. I don’t feel like I have to hide my feelings around him. He’s had a similar loss and understands what’s going on up in my head. I’m not okay more than half the time. But Eddie has gone out of his way to make sure that I’m okay around him.”

 You let out a choked sob and began to curl in on yourself. 

Stop, you scolded yourself. This isn’t helping anyone. Take a deep breath and shove those feelings back into their box.

You’d had inklings of feelings similar to your mother’s. You needed your own verbal assurance that Eddie wasn’t taking Billy’s place in your life. His death had left a massive hole. In your heart, in your head, in your life. There wasn’t anything that anyone could do or say that would ever fill it. You knew that. 

She got up from her seat across from you and walked around the island, kneeling down and grabbing your other hand. “Look at me, baby girl. It’s okay.”

You focused on her for a moment before taking a deep breath and struggling to pull your mind out of the dark pit it was trying to crawl into. It sent a shiver down your spine as you fought it, but you managed to haul yourself back to reality. 

You sniffled and took one of your hands out of your mom’s to grab a napkin from the island. “Sorry,” you mumbled.” 

She shook her head. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

You looked back at her, eyes wide as you searched her face. You knew she had a valid point in her thoughts about Eddie. From an outsider’s perspective, you couldn’t blame her for having that suspicion. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?” you asked cautiously. 

She was quiet for a moment before she nodded. “I think I do.” While she wasn’t completely in your shoes, she could understand the need to be around someone who had experienced something similar in the past and made it through. “I do. And honestly, I’m glad you feel okay with him. I never really understood why you were pushing everyone away instead of leaning on them for support. But now I do. And I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to help you with that sooner.”

You shrugged slowly. “It wasn’t something I really talked about…not even with Allie.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I think that’s something you need to talk about in your next session. I’m not a specialist, but this definitely sounds like something that’s hindering you.”

She was right, of course, which made you sigh. “Okay.” you agreed. You looked up at your mom, exhaustion seeping through you. “But for now can we make some popcorn and watch a movie?”and pressed a kiss to the side of your head, holding you as sobs racked your body. As you slowly calmed down, your head began to clear. “I’m sorry,” you said quietly. 

Your mom shook her head. “Nothing to be sorry about, honey. I’m the one who should apologize. I know it hasn’t been easy for you at all. But I’m so happy you’re finding a friend in Eddie. And if he understands, then I’m even happier.” 

You gave her a soft smile and wiped your eyes again. “Thanks mom.” 

Taglist: @yourdailymemedelivery@1-fuzzy-squirrels@shiggay@chrisevansmarvelmcu@mrsyixingunicorn10@rebelcthulhu @ethen-often @liv-raines@inthemindofaweirdo@mystrangerfics@mattysheelies@hargrovesprincess@ssstutteringbbbill@fuchsia-knight@gooddoggodrogo @jaaxely@sebastiansloserclub@acthenerd@dollface-80 @prettyboyhargrove@uncle-keery@sydneyisnotawriter

[maatdraws]

ZZzzzZZZzzz...

[imfinereallyy]

Eddie coming home drunk and staring longingly at a picture of Steve. “I wonder when my husband will come back from the war. I miss you so.”

Steve walks out to see his boyfriend plastered, almost kissing the frame. “Babe, I was in the bathroom. Also, as much as this pains me, we aren’t married.

Eddie, completely unfazed by his misplaced longing. “Yet, we aren’t married yet.”

Steve's face softens as he walks over to kiss Eddie on the forehead, “Yea, babe. Not yet.”

[munsonsfairy]

eddie munson is the type of guy to bring your hands to his lips and kiss them all over softly, then bring one of your hands to his jaw to nestle into it.

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

inspired by @rogueddie 's post. Right Here.

120 minutes

2 hours they have been standing in front of this stupid claw machine. All because Eddie saw something inside that he was desperate to get. Whatever it was he was refusing to tell Steve who was now pressed up against the wall between the claw machine and some arcade machine. He’s confident that the other has blown at least a hundred dollars trying to get whatever he wanted.

His tongue stuck out in concentration, refusing to let Steve talk to him as it would distract him. Steve doesn’t think much of what the other is doing. The other boy did wacky things all the time. This was one of those times as he waits patiently for the other to finish. Willing to stay all night if that meant he was able to spend time with Eddie.

Five minutes later, when the boy starts hopping up and down and throwing his hands excitedly in the air. Smiling brightly at Steve before he’s turning, bending down, and grabbing whatever he caught from the slot. Pulling it back and putting it behind his back quickly before Steve could see. Moving forward into his space, a smile tugged on the scar on his face. Not leaving any space between them. A look of confusion crossed over Steve’s face trying to figure out what the other was doing.

“So what did you win?” He asks curiously, wondering what the other had spent all that time on. Must’ve been worth it by the smile on his face.

“Oh nothing,” Eddie says tiling his head to the side dramatically. “Just, you know. A bat.” He takes the moment to pull the plushie up holding it by the wing as he dangles it in front of Steve who was starting to think confusion was his default setting.

“Oh?”

“Oh? A man spends two hours winning you a stuffed bat and all you have to say is oh?” Eddie’s teasing is continuous. Constantly wrapping itself around Steve with a soft flush as a result.

Steve begins to stutter over his words as he lifts his hand up, holding the stuffy carefully in both hands. His heart swells up as he realizes Eddie spent all that time for him. As the realization hits a dopey smile grows on Steve’s face, seemingly what Eddie had been searching for as his eyes flicker down to the other's lips. Moving a hand up and carefully setting it on the wall next to Steve’s head. Not caring how close they were. Both of their faces were pink and their hearts beating fast.

“So, watcha gonna name it?” Eddie asks with a smile, one that was reserved for Steve.

“Ozzy.”

“Holy shit, I am just a simple peasant to your royalty. Oh holy one, please grace me with your presence at mine tonight.” Eddie pulls back starting to bow down at the other as Steve laughs at his antics.

“Is that your way of asking me out?” He teases playfully.

“Yes, I guess it is,” Eddie responds, hand aimlessly moving to twirl the bat's wing with his finger as he smiles brightly at the other.

[nburkhardt]

A bit of omegaverse slice of life 🥰

Steve wakes up first in the morning with his face pressed into Eddie’s back with their legs tangled together. Just before he can close his eyes to sleep more, he’s hit with nausea. Throwing the blanket off him, he stumbles his way into the bathroom. Falling next to the toilet and throwing up all of last night’s dinner.

As he groans, forehead resting against the edge of the seat, he flinches as he feels a hand rub up and down on his back. Shifting a little, he looks up to find Eddie crouching next to him with concern coloring his face. “You alright there, Honeybun?”

Sighing, he closes his eyes. “Yeah, yeah- fuck, I feel gross”

Eddie huffs a laugh before helping him stand, placing a kiss to his forehead, “how about you take a shower? I’ll make some breakfast and wait for Claudia to get here”

All he can do is nod and as Eddie walks out, he undresses before stepping in the shower. Doesn’t take him long to shower, he’s brushing his teeth when he hears the front door open and it closes again and he hears the giggling.

A smile works it’s way onto his face and he quickly finishes before making his way towards the sound of Melody’s giggling and as he turns the corner finds Eddie twirling around with Melody safely against his shoulder. If he wasn’t already so in love with the alpha, that sight would’ve sold him immediately.

“Oh! M’lady we have an audience here!” Eddie exclaims, turning Melody in his arms and his daughter’s eyes light up the minute they land on him and a giggle-shriek comes out of her mouth. He quickly moves forward before she falls straight onto the floor trying to escape Eddie’s arms.

Snuggling Melody in his arms, he began to sway and take in her sweet baby scent. He opens his eyes to find Eddie watching with a look of adoration and love written all over his face. The omega opened his free arm and the Alpha laughed before circling them into his own arms.

Steve has never felt more safe in his life.

I was reading over some of my ramblings in my notes app and got this perfect little moment and thought to share it with everyone! 🥰🥰

Permanent tag list under the cut. (NOTE: omegaverse isn’t your thing, let me know and I’ll make a note to no include you in these posts)

@spectrum-spectre @sunnythespookyghost @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @gregre369 @zerokrox-blog @flustratedcas @carlprocastinator1000 @marvelmwah @solliesolesito @navnae @i-less-than-three-you @grimmfitzz @estrellami-1 @cartercaptainofthemoon

[pollenallergie]

Thinking about Eddie just showing up at your house unexpectedly, walking through the front door like he owns the place, and flopping down next to you on the couch before turning to you with the most somber expression he can possibly muster and simply saying something like, “I regret to inform you, my love, that my tummy hurts.” He’s completely serious as he says it too, delivering the line like he’s vying for a goddamn Oscar, despite it truly being nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt at getting you to rub his belly. How could you possibly say no to him? (Spoiler alert: you can’t, it’s impossible). <3

[eddieintheupsidedown]

Eddie: I'm a very tough person, nothing can break me. I don't even remember the last time I cried

Steve: we passed by a cat on our way home yesterday and you cried when you accidentally stepped on his tail

Eddie, tearing up: he didn't deserve that, i betrayed his trust

[navnae]

After a long day of performing on stage Eddie always come home extremely tired and he never has enough energy to wipe of his makeup. When Steve sees Eddie laying in bed sleeping with his eyeliner and a little bit of eyeshadow along with a little bit of lip gloss. Steve knew that Eddie would be a goner as soon as he hit the front door, so Steve took it upon himself to take out some of his makeup wipes that he carries with him every time Eddie goes on tour. With a few wipes in his hand Steve sat on the side of the bed and faces towards Eddie who was sleeping peacefully like he always did. Steve smiled softly before taking his hand and placing it under Eddie’s chin to angle his face towards him. Light snores escaped Eddie’s lips by the little bit of movement that Steve was making and it was the cutest thing. Steve took his other hand with the wipe then gently started to wipe the eyeshadow off of Eddie’s eyelids before lightly angling the wipe and he was somewhat able to wipe away a little bit of the eyeliner that he was able to reach. A few seconds of wiping made Eddie shuffle around under Steve’s touch before his eyes slowly opened and he looked at Steve with confusion.

“Stevie?” Eddie said softly as he adjusted his eyes. It didn’t take long for him realize what was going on on eve he saw the wipes in Steve’s hand. Steve smiled before kissing Eddie’s forehead and softly brushing his bangs to the side.

“I’m just wiping off your makeup for you, baby. I’ll be done soon so you can go back to sleep.” Steve said sweetly. Eddie hummed before closing his eyes and Steve continued with getting the makeup off of Eddie’s eyes. He even took the wipe and rubbed it against Eddie’s lips to get off the light lipgloss he was wearing.

When Steve got done with everything he started to get himself ready for bed like usual and join Eddie a few minutes later. As he got into bed, Eddie was already throwing his arms around Steve’s waist as if he was going to run away in an instant. Steve laughed lightly then wrapped his arms around Eddie and they started to cuddle.

“Thank you.” Eddie mumbled against Steve’s chest. Steve smiled to himself and gave Eddie a tight squeeze.

“You’re welcome.” Steve responded. Eddie tilted his head slightly to look up at Steve.

“You really didn’t have to you know.” Eddie felt a little guilty that Steve went out of his way to wipe his makeup off but little did he know that Steve didn’t mind it at all.

“I know but I know you better than you know yourself and you would’ve regretted keeping it on in the morning.” Steve joked and he earned an eye roll from Eddie but he still laughed in the process. He couldn’t deny that besides Wayne, Steve definitely knew more about him than he liked to admit. Eddie moved closer to Steve and held him even tighter than before.

They shared a few kisses and goodnights then went to sleep. Eddie had to be on the road early in the morning so having these sweet moments with Steve from time to time was such a blessing.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

*Halloween celebration at the 118*

Buck: Eddie, talk to me, how is our candy situation?

Eddie: We're out of candy already.

Hen: How are we out?

Chim: That's impossible, it's been like 1 hour.

Buck: No more than 5 kids have come by the station.

Eddie: Yeah, but this one little boy that looked like Christopher told me he loved me, so I gave him all the candy.

[b0mb-sh3ll]

dream I had last night, woke up happy :]

(technically the dream was me adopting a brown bear cub from some cage, then shoplifting magical books from a dollar store with my sister and being chased down by police, but I woke up with the urge to cuddle all baby bears EVER so…)

[lordofthenerds97]

Wasting Away: Chapter 5

Rating: M for eventual chapters, mild cursing, and nonexplicit sexual content Pairing: Eddie x Reader, Past Billy x Reader, and onesided Steve x Reader if you squint Summary: You were broken. Falling apart. Trying to put yourself back together. Whatever the hell they wanted to call it. All you knew was you were hurting. The Upside Down had been the bane of your existence for a long time. But now you had a reason to hate it. Will your hatred be enough to help take down the latest in a long line of monsters? TW FOR THIS CHAPTER: •Mentions of suicide •Unhealthy coping mechanisms (borderline Bulimia, other eating disorders) • Reader has flashbacks/mild panic attack Masterlist

With a frustrated sigh, you crumpled the note and chucked it at the nearby trash can. 

They just didn’t seem to get the hint. 

Ms. Kelly had left yet another note in your locker. This time, there was a veiled threat of expulsion should you not follow directions. She was again insisting that you see her. 

Both you and your parents had explained that you had no desire to see a school’s counselor when you were seeking help from an actual professional. But they didn’t seem to get the message. 

It made you more angry than anything. 

You slammed the locker door shut and stalked towards the counselor’s office. Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the strap of the bag slung over your shoulder. You had to remind yourself to take deep breaths to try and calm the rage that was boiling up inside you. 

As you stepped down the few stairs, you saw that the door to her office was open. Taking the opportunity, you stalked inside. 

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re-“ 

“Look,” you interrupted with a scowl. “I’ve told you and I’ve told the principal; I’m not going to see you for counseling. I’m seeing an actual therapist. She’s helping me. I’m coping. I’m grieving. So leave me the hell alone. I’m gonna have my bad days and not be able to get myself out of bed to come to school. I’m not going to force myself, either.” 

She blinked quickly a couple times, looking taken aback by your outburst. “I think if you just let me-“ 

“I swear to god, if you try to talk me into coming to talk to you, I’m walking out this door and never coming back. To you or this school.” 

Ms. Kelly took a deep breath. “Can I ask you a question?” 

You rolled your eyes. “You already did. But fine.” 

“Why are you so against talking to me.” 

Letting out a huff, you gave her a blank stare. “I literally just told you. I’m seeing a therapist. Someone who can actually help me.” 

“What makes you think I can’t?” 

“Because as much as you like to think you do, you have no idea what the hell you’re doing. You’re going to tell me literally the same thing every other person does; to get out of the house, spend time with my friends, get back into the world. I’m sorry Miss Kelly, but you have no clue what I’m dealing with. You don’t know the burdens I carry, the guilt I feel, or the pain I have.” 

She opened her mouth to answer, but you kept right on going. 

“I think you want to do your best to help, but you’re not fully equipped. How do you help kids with PTSD? How do you help someone who had another person die in their arms? How do you help someone who’s seen so much shit that they can’t sleep…and when they do, they’re plagued with nightmares? How do you look someone in the eyes and tell them that the world they knew is gone forever? How do you teach someone to trust again? How do you help someone with a mind so broken that they think the only way to fix it is to kill themselves? If you can answer those questions, Miss Kelly, then I’ll gladly sit down and pour my heart out to you.” 

She looked taken aback, and for a moment, you felt a little guilty for the onslaught. 

“I didn’t realize you were dealing with all of that…I’m so sorry.” 

You sighed. “There’s a lot about me you, and everyone else, don’t know.” Tears had welled up in your eyes but you managed to blink them back. “I know you want to help, I don’t fault you for that. But, please…let me get the help I need. And please stop trying to pressure me into talking to you.” 

She hugged her arms around her middle as a guilty expression took over her face. “I’m sorry. Of course, if what you’re doing is helping you, keep doing it. You’re right…I can’t answer those questions. But eventually, I’d like to learn how.” 

You nodded. “Thank you. I appreciate it. And…thank you for trying to help Max. I know she’s a tough nut to crack, but she needs it.” 

“Of course. And…thank you for seeing me and explaining this to me. You’ve helped me understand a lot. Thank you.” 

Giving her another curt nod, you turned on your heel and headed back in the direction you’d come from. You had to take a deep breath to keep the tears back as you walked. Your sneakered feet would squeak every once in a while with a step. 

Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot. 

Another deep breath.

Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot. 

Breathe.

“I love you trouble. I’m sorry…” 

You faltered, your injured leg shaking under your weight. 

Grunting quietly, you forced yourself to recover, the muscles screaming in protest. 

“You okay sweetheart?” 

Turning your head slightly to the right, you saw Eddie approaching you with a concerned look on his face. “Yeah, just an old injury that hasn’t healed.” 

He frowned. “What happened?” 

“I got impaled by a piece of rebar in one of the many explosions in the mall.” The lie slipped easily from your lips, and you had to force yourself not to wince. You didn’t want to lie to him. 

“Damn. Yet another badass moment.” 

You snorted and rolled your eyes. “Morning, Eddie.” 

At that, he grinned. “Morning sweetheart. How was your night?” 

A half shrug was your answer. “Better than normal but still not great.” 

His concern was back in an instant. His brows furrowed and he examined your face closely. “Need to talk about it?” he asked gently. 

“Another nightmare. I didn’t wake up screaming this time, which was nice. But I woke up at 3:27 and wasn’t able to go back to sleep.” 

He hummed quietly. “I’m sorry. Did you at least make yourself some breakfast?” 

You were quiet, deciding the floor was more interesting than his face. 

“Sweetheart?” 

“No…” you mumbled. 

He chuckled. “I figured as much. I stopped at Terry’s on the way.” He pulled his hands out from behind his back, holding up two white paper bags. “Breakfast sandwich or a burrito?” 

Your eyes lit up and you grinned at him. “You didn’t have to do that, Eddie.” 

He smiled at you. “I know. But I wanted to. So, sandwich or burrito?” 

“Burrito please.” 

His smile didn’t leave his face as he handed you the bag in his left hand. He watched as you quickly unwrapped the burrito and took a few bites. “Dusty told me you haven’t been eating like you should. We’re gonna change that.” 

You paused mid bite, looking at him with a raised eyebrow as your mouth had began to clamp down around the tortilla. “What?” you mumbled.

He laughed. “You’re cute when you’re befuddled.” 

Swallowing, you glared at him. “I’m not cute!” you protested. Then you paused. “Did you just say befuddled?” 

His grin widened. “I did.” 

Now, it was your turn to laugh. The glare melted away as the humor of the sentence hit you. “Who says befuddled?” 

“I do!” 

You shook your head at him and turned back to your burrito. He was right…you were hungry. And the caffeine high you were on was slowly fading away. You were going to need something to help keep your energy up. 

“I’m serious though, sweetheart.” 

You stifled a sigh and continued eating, allowing him to plead his case. 

“Trust me, I know the feeling. I barely ate for weeks after mom and Casey died, Hardly even enough to keep me from starving. Lost a lot of weight and muscle. Almost got my ass hauled to an institute for attempted suicide. My Uncle helped me get straightened out. Now, I can tell you don’t look like yourself. Dusty said you’ve lost some more weight, too. I know you don’t want to eat…sometimes the thought of it even makes you sick, right?” 

Looking at the floor again, you nodded. Sometimes even though you hadn’t eaten in more than 24 hours and you were actually hungry, the thought of forcing down food made you want to puke. It sent a small shudder down your spine just thinking about it. 

“We’re gonna work on that. Breakfast is a start.” He smiled gently at you, nudging your arm and making you look up at him. “You know, I can see why Dustin calls you Bambi. Those doe eyes are adorable.” 

You rolled your eyes and snorted. “Thanks,” you mumbled. “Actually, it came from a DnD campaign. I got polymorphed into a doe. And then I got hunted.” 

Eddie couldn’t help it. He let out a loud laugh. “My god, sweetheart.” 

You smacked his arm. “It wasn’t my fault! I was trying to fight the Hydra that was attacking Will and Lucas!” 

He shook his head. “How the hell do you get polymorphed and not realize it?” 

You glared, knowing full well how. “Dusty is a sneaky little bastard.” 

“Who said what about me?” 

Both you and Eddie turned to see Dustin walking up with a grin. 

“I said you’re a sneaky little bastard!” you said, giving him the side eye. 

“That’s me!” 

Eddie couldn’t stop chuckling. “He really is though. Puts up quite a fight in my campaigns.” 

Rolling your eyes, you finished the last of your burrito and threw the wrapper into a trash can not far from you. “If you two will excuse me, I’ve got to find Max.” 

“I’ll catch up with you at lunch, Bambi. I need some help with some Lit homework if you don’t mind.” 

You nodded. “Sure.” 

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “The smartass needs help with homework?” 

Dustin shoved him slightly, but Eddie didn’t even budge, just smirked at the teenager in front of him. 

The thought made you stop for a moment. It made you wonder briefly what was stopping Eddie from graduating. You knew he’d flunked his senior year a couple times, so that put his age right around 19 to 20. Judging by his appearance, you’d guess closer to 20. Not wanting to bring it up in front of Dustin, or for fear of embarrassing him, you let the thought go. But you made a mental note to cautiously ask him about it later. 

“I’ll see you guys.” 

~*~*~*~ 

It didn’t take you long to find Max. After hunting for a few minutes, you found her sitting outside on top of one of the picnic tables in the shade. She had the headphones of her Walkman covering her ears, and you could make out the lyrics of Running Up That Hill. Glancing down at your watch, you saw there was about 15 minutes before classes started. 

You made your way over to her, dropping your bag on the ground beside hers and plopping onto the table top. She looked up when she felt the wood move before doing a double take when she realized who had sat down. 

“Hey, Max.” 

“Hey,” she greeted. “What’s up?” 

You sighed. “I’m sorry.” 

She frowned, confused. “What? Why?” 

Turning to fully face her, you tucked one leg under the other. “I know I haven’t been there for you…I know you’re dealing with your own shit and grieving in your own way. I know your mom helps as best she can. And I’m so sorry I haven’t been there for you, Max.” Your eyes teared up again as you spoke. “Billy was your brother. I know you guys didn’t get along all the time, but I also know you were both trying. He did love you…you know that right?” 

She blinked in confusion, the corners of her mouth turned down in a frown. “Where’s this coming from?” she asked suspiciously. 

You sighed again and wiped the tears that fell. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. And I needed you to know.” 

She eyes you cautiously. “You’re not…you’re not doing anything stupid…right?” 

You shook your head. “No, I’m not.” You felt your throat start to close up. “Billy made me promise. No more cutting.” Your problems ran deep, and there were a lot of things you had struggled with over the years. Billy had caught you with a razor in your hands and blood on your arms. After cleaning you up and making sure you were okay, he made you swear you wouldn’t ever hurt yourself again. 

After he died, you’d felt the urge more than once. The guilt was a crushing pressure on your shoulders. It wouldn’t ever make up for his death, you knew that. But having the cool metal pressed against your skin felt like a penance, something you could do to make up for it. 

After all, it was your fault. 

If you hadn’t called him, he never would’ve been on that road. 

And it would’ve been you that was the puppet. 

You pulled yourself out of your dark thoughts and took a deep breath. “I’ll be honest, I’ve picked up a razor a couple times. But I made a promise to him. And I’ll keep it if it kills me.” 

Max nodded. She had seen the aftermath. Billy was on his way to drop her off to the arcade but stopped to get you first. Your parents weren’t home and you were fighting in a depressive episode. He’d screamed for her when he found you.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I haven’t been there for you either.” 

Without a word, you wrapped your arm around her and pulled her to you. You crushed her in a hug, and she returned the favor. 

“You’re coming with me this afternoon. We’re gonna go to the arcade and then rent some movies to binge tonight.” 

She laughed. “I don’t really have a choice in this, so I?” 

You shook your head with a chuckle. “No. Besides, I need to spend time with another girl for a change.”

Max raised an eyebrow as she pulled out of your embrace. “What do you mean?” 

You rolled your eyes. “Dusty and Steve are starting to run off on me.”

She snorted. “Yeah, we need to change that.” 

~*~*~*~

The end of the day rolled round fairly quickly. You weren’t surprised when you saw Dustin waiting for you by your locker. “What’s up, kid?” you said, opening the blue door and grabbing a couple books you would need for your homework before shoving a few others back in. 

He shrugged. “Not a lot. Wanted to check in on you again.”

“I’m actually planning on taking Max to the arcade for a while. Then we’re gonna get a couple movies and have a girls night.”

“That’s a really good idea for both of you. I know you guys need it.” 

You nodded. There hadn’t been a lot of fun in the last several months. Admittedly, you had tried. But that didn’t mean you would always be successful. You were always close with Max. The two of you usually did have quite a bit of fun together. But even that had slowly dribbled away. But, you were trying. “We do.” 

“I was gonna hang out with Steve for a while tonight, we were actually thinking about going to the arcade. But we can totally avoid it if you and Max want to be by yourselves.”

Chuckling, you rolled your eyes. You knew you weren’t going to be able to get away from them so easily. “It’s fine. Just try not to hang around all night? Part of the point of me spending time with Max is because I spend too much with you and Steve. I’m starting to pick up some nasty habits from you two.” you said, scrunching up your nose. 

Dustin snorted. “We’ll play a couple games with you and then get some pizza. Sound good?”

With a dramatic sigh, you resigned. “I guess.” 

In all honesty, it didn’t bother you. While you were looking forward to spending time with Max again, you knew you were going to feel awkward. Logically, you knew you had no reason to. But that didn’t stop the pit from forming in your stomach. It had been a long time since it had been just the two of you. Looking back on the summer, you knew the grief was too raw for both of you. While they weren’t related by blood, Max had so many of Billy’s personality traits. His signature eye roll, a knowing smirk, and the way she carried herself. It was too much. While you were stuck living the nightmares in your dreams, having her right next to you every day was a living hell. 

You felt bad for having those feelings. Now, it tore you to your core. But like Allie had told you, there were things you weren’t going to be able to do for a long time.

Spending time alone with Max happened to be one of them. 

You needed to drag yourself out of those thoughts. For a second, you frowned. “Where’s Eddie?” You hadn’t seen him since the encounter at the beginning of the day. 

Dustin shrugged. “Not sure. Wouldn’t surprise me if he skipped out. Why?” 

“He brought me breakfast this morning. I wanted to give him a few bucks for it.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “Breakfast?” 

You chuckled. “Yeah, you came in on the tail end of the conversation, buddy. I guess someone told him I wasn’t eating and lost some weight.” You gave him a pointed look, to which he rolled his eyes. 

“He might’ve asked about it.” he said with a shrug. “He seemed pretty worried about you the other day. I was too. But I’m glad you’re making friends. Just be careful, yeah?” 

You snorted. “Don’t worry,” you mumbled. “I’m already over analyzing everything.” 

Dustin gave you a sideways look, but you weren’t really laying attention. His warning had sent your head into a tailspin again. 

Everything you’d thought of that morning started running through your mind a million miles an hour. It wasn’t long before you got lost in the abyss.

It took Dustin snapping his fingers in front of your face to snap you out of the trance. 

“Sorry,” 

“You went all zoned out on me, Bambi. You okay?”

The thoughts quieted for a moment as you blinked and regained your focus. “Yeah…just gets overwhelming up here sometimes.” 

He nodded and adjusted his bag as Max knocked into him with a smile. “Hey,” she said. 

Dustin grinned. “Hey yourself, Mad Max. I heard about girls night. Enjoy!” 

She nodded and looked at you. “We will.” 

A small smile took over your face and you threw your arm over her shoulder. “Let’s go.” 

Dustin waved as the two of you headed towards the exit. He continued watching as you walked out the door and down the sidewalk, his eyes not leaving you and Max until you had rounded a corner and were out of view. He quickly dug into his backpack and pulled out a walkie. 

“Steve?” 

“Yo.” 

“Let’s move. Bambi is headed to the arcade with Max.” 

“Get your ass out here, Henderson! We don’t have all day!” 

~*~*~*~

You and Max were killing it at the arcade. 

Your initial feelings of awkwardness had immediately been dispelled as soon as the two of you walked into the arcade. The neon lights and smell of greasy pizza brought you right out of your shell. 

You’d spent the last few hours playing almost every game in the building. And contrary to what Dustin had said, you’d seen neither hide nor tail of him or Steve. 

It didn’t really bother you. 

Max was laughing. You were laughing. 

And that’s what was important. 

Glancing at the watch on your wrist, you grabbed Max’s shoulder gently and tugged her out of line for the bathroom. “Hey, we should head to Family Video if we still wanna rent some movies. My parents are gonna be home and working on dinner soon.” 

“Good because I didn’t really want to use this bathroom anyway.” she chuckled. 

~*~*~*~

You headed down the street, bag of movies and snacks in hand. Max was going on about the counselor, and how annoying she found Ms. Kelly to be. 

You snorted. “Max, you know I would 100% support you seeing Allie. She’s helped me a lot. But if you’re not ready to, I’m not gonna try to force you or press the issue. As far as Ms. Kelly goes…I do think she wants to help. She’s got the right intentions.”

She rolled her eyes. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” 

A chuckle escaped you. “That’s true. But she’s trying. She doesn’t know exactly how to help, but she wants to. I know you and I don’t really talk about what happened…” 

“BILLY!” 

You heard Max’s scream as one of the tentacles tore through your leg. 

You blinked and cleared your throat. “And that’s okay. But I think you need to open up to someone.” 

You landed with a thud beside Billy. He was covered in blood and black goo that could have only come from the Flayer. You ignored the searing pain in your own body as you sobbed and crawled your way to him. 

A choked sound came from you and Max immediately stopped, setting a hand on your arm. 

“You okay?” 

“Shit,” you gasped. You latched onto the hand that was on your arm. 

Panic. Pain. Fear. Anger. All those emotions ran through you at once as you grabbed onto Billy’s shoulders. He grunted as you pulled him into your lap, coughing and making more blood bubble up from his throat. The gaping wound in his chest stared up at you. 

“-snap out of it!” 

A gasp took over and you almost lurched forward. Max gripped your arms tightly and managed to steady you. Your heart hammered in your chest and it felt like you’d been punched in the gut. 

Max said your name again, putting her hands on your cheeks and turning your head so that you were looking at her. 

“Breathe. You got this.” 

You followed her instructions, breathing in shakily before exhaling through your mouth. Your whole body shuddered with the breath, and you couldn’t help the tremor that ran down your spine. 

“Flashbacks?” Max asked? 

You swallowed a cry that threatened to bubble up your throat before nodding. “Yeah. They’re more hellish than the nightmares sometimes.” 

She nodded in understanding. “I get them too.” 

You took a moment to try and compose yourself before you straightened. “Come on. I’m sure dinner is almost ready.” 

Max gave you a knowing look as you squared your shoulders. “Do you need a few minutes?” 

You shook your head and clenched your teeth. “If I take a few minutes, I’m gonna lose it.” 

“Okay. We’ll just slow down a bit then.” 

You glanced over at the redhead as she looped her arm through yours and leaned some of her weight on you momentarily. You reached over with your other hand and set it on her arm. “Thanks, Max.” 

She looked up at you and smiled. “Always.” Then her eyes softened. “Do you want silence or a distraction?” 

You sighed. “A distraction would be nice.” 

She laughed. “Yeah? Alright…well, I’ve been thinking about joining a club.” 

You raised your eyebrows. “Oh?” 

You fell into easy steps as Max talked about some of the different clubs and activities that were offered as a Freshman. Like you, she had been secluding herself and keeping herself closed off. It was starting to affect her and she was craving the chance to throw herself into something. 

The conversation carried itself with you asking a few questions and providing your input. Before you knew it, you were walking up the sidewalk to your house. 

Both you and Max paused. 

Dustin was standing there with his hands in his pockets and a wide, dorky grin on his face. 

That immediately made you suspicious. 

“Dustin…” 

“Hey Bambi.” 

Max looked just as suspicious as you did. “What’s going on?” 

He shrugged. “Oh, nothing. Steve and I just thought we would come by and drop off a present for ya.” 

“What?” you asked. 

He beckoned you forward. “Come on.” 

You shared a confused look with Max before following Dustin around the front of your dad’s Bronco. The garage door slowly began to lift up, revealing Steve sitting on the top of a vehicle covered by a grey sheet. 

“Hey Princess.” 

You just got more confused. “What’s going on?” 

“We all know you’ve had it rough, Bambi. Anyone can see that. And…we know there’s not a lot we can do. But we wanted to do something for you.” 

Steve took that as his cue to hop off the vehicle and walk around to the side. Without saying a word, he grabbed the sheet and ripped it off, sending dust flying in every direction.

You coughed, waving your hand in front of your face. But then you saw it. 

The front end was sanded and dented in places, scratch marks still lining the bumper. The windshield that had been blown out was replaced, a shiny new sticker in the top drivers side corner. 

It was beat up, there was no doubt about it. 

But the open blue door was unmistakable. 

Billy’s Camaro. 

Taglist: @yourdailymemedelivery@1-fuzzy-squirrels@shiggay@chrisevansmarvelmcu@mrsyixingunicorn10@rebelcthulhu @ethen-often @liv-raines@inthemindofaweirdo@mystrangerfics@mattysheelies@hargrovesprincess@ssstutteringbbbill@fuchsia-knight@gooddoggodrogo @jaaxely@sebastiansloserclub@acthenerd@dollface-80 @prettyboyhargrove@uncle-keery@sydneyisnotawriter

[softie-rain]

I'M GETTING VENOM AND DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE MOVIES IN THE SAME YEAR NOBODY TALKS TO ME I'M GOING INSANE

[imfinereallyy]

Steve Harrington isn't sure he's ever felt beautiful.

He is sure it would be a surprise to most.

However, Steve is overwhelmed with himself. And not in a good way. The constant feeling of the stretch of his skin, every lump, every scar. It's hard to breathe sometimes for Steve.

There is too much of him. Hair everywhere. Worried lips. Voice fluctuating.

Too many errors. Picked cuticles, bitten nails, and crooked noses.

Too many flaws. Loudmouth has nothing to show for it. Big money, but not enough to fix.

When Steve Harrington looks at himself, he doesn't see something he defines as beauty.

Sure he's been called many things across the board. Hot, sexy, and even the occasional handsome. That is typically reserved though for old women at Family Video and his mother's book club in 79' (a disaster of an idea considering it was mostly day drinking). And although Steve is called all these things and more, he hasn't really felt them. They are just more meaningless words he is supposed to nod his head along to. It's rude not to take a compliment, he can hear his mother's voice saying.

But Steve Harrington does not feel beautiful. He knows it's not a masculine word. He can almost hear the unspoken slur every time his father calls Steve a pretty boy, good for nothing but his looks.

(Steve doesn't think it's his father's insults that make him feel this way. He thinks that his comments might have to do more with his repressed bisexuality though. That's a talk for Robin for sure.)

Steve knows he shouldn't feel this way. Should be grateful for the compliments, the praise. It's rude, he knows. To be so ungracious. He can't just push them off, he can't argue.

He knows it isn't good, and isn't healthy to put this on other people. That he should work from the inside than out. Even so, Steve can't help but wonder if it's all his years being put inside a particular box that is the problem.

Who is he to argue with everyone else too? They always know better. The girls at school have told him what eye candy he is. His old buddies would tell him they wish they looked like him. Even the kids would mostly compliment him aesthetically. Talk about his way with women. Talk about how he's lucky he's got looks.

(He thinks he should be bothered more by the value of his looks than his intelligence, but that problem feels separate to Steve. He isn't really sure if he can explain it.)

Maybe that is the problem. People talk more about his looks than to him. Around him, through him, but not to him. Or maybe it's because Steve thinks they are just being kind, being pitiful. If Steve can't be smart, can't be creative, can't be talented all that is left is looks. People can't bullshit the other things, but they can all pretend he's a good-looking guy.

He is probably being dramatic if he's being honest. He can feel the sinking weight of the words selfish, self-centered, vain. It's like a horrible thrumming in his chest, every time he thinks too hard about it. Thankless and paranoid, Steve usually keeps quiet.

It's when Steve meets Robin Buckley, things start to change just a little bit. She's the first to come the closest to making him believe he can maybe be beautiful.

It's after a shift at Family Video. Robin and Steve are sitting on the hood of his BMW at the quarry. They're stargazing. Something that before Robin, Steve would have considered a waste of time.

He is so very glad he met Robin.

Steve has never really told anyone how he feels about himself. He doesn't think it would do him any good. He comes close though when suddenly Robin turns from looking at the sky, looks directly at his face, and says, "Sometimes, you remind me of the stars."

Steve startles and comes up with an eloquent "Huh?"

Robin giggles softly. "It's the moles. Reminds me of the constellations. I sometimes want to connect them, see if they match."

Steve just stares, unsure of what to say. Feels captured by her. Can feel that familial love between them grow even more.

Robin reaches out. Carefully, delicately, as if Steve might stop her. She brushes against the moles across his face and lightly connects them. "Pretty."

It's just one word, but for a moment Steve believes it's true. It's only a second, but he thinks he might remember this moment forever.

"Thanks Rob." He whispers, afraid to break the moment.

Rob pauses for a second before continuing the journey back and forth on his face. It's if she can tell how fragile he is when she whispers back "No problem Dingus."

He doesn't believe it for very long, but it at least makes him more grateful for Robin.

———

Steve Harrington isn't sure he's ever felt beautiful.

Well, until he meets Eddie Munson.

It's small at first. From the second Eddie meets Steve, it's almost as if he can read every single thought that comes across his mind.

And when they become friends, after Vecna, after it all, it's as if Eddie can see completely through Steve.

Eddie notices when Steve gets uncomfortable with backhanded compliments on his looks. When Steve tenses in the slightest towards what the kids, customers, or even Nance are saying (he remembers a distinct can't believe another woman hasn't been fooled by the Harrington looks yet, from her). And at first, Eddie seems to just catch on and change the subject. Shifts the attention to himself instead.

Steve's grateful.

But then Eddie starts to correct people. Shape the compliments better, more suited to Steve. There is a girl trying to flirt with him in Family Video once when Eddie is visiting. Steve isn't super receptive to it and even shrinks away a bit when the girl—Sadie he thinks her name is—looks him up and down and says "Sorry I'm taking so long, just I can't help if you're so distracting. You look so good today Steve,"

It doesn't feel good, even though he wants it to. But then there is Eddie cutting Sadie off by saying, "It's the smile isn't it?"

Eddie looks directly at Steve, chin in his hands as he leans across the counter. There is a slight uptilt to his lips while ignores Sadie's confused "Huh?"

"Can't look away when you see a smile that bright."

Steve doesn't think too badly about himself for the rest of the day.

After that something shifts in Eddie too. The verbal comments don't become fewer, but the looks do become more frequent. It's these absolutely intoxicating looks, that shake Steve to his core.

Eddie's eyes trail him, whisper to him, fucking follow his every movement.

There is this one time when Steve throws his head back and laughs harder than has in his life when Robin trips into Nancy's lap. He is sure it really isn't that funny, and he knows he looks awful with the snorting and tears running down his face. But Eddie, Eddie's eyes just follow the line of Steve's neck, connect all of his moles with his gaze, and just beams at Steve.

For a moment, Steve feels gorgeous.

———

Even with these little things, Steve Harrington doesn't feel beautiful.

After everything with Vecna, what little he liked about himself is quite literally torn apart. The stares are mixed now. Some admire him, some look upon him in horror. He can't decide which feels worse. They both make him feel so distinctly other. Something to look at, something to hang on the wall and contemplate.

And moments like these ones, sitting in his backyard in broad daylight, in 90-degree weather for a pool party the kids begged him to have, he can't help but cover himself up. Hide away.

Eddie sits next to him in the lounge chair on his right with a distinct plop, shaking Steve from his spiral momentarily.

"You doing alright there big boy?" Eddie raises an eyebrow.

"Yea. I'm good man." Steve tries to shake off.

"Really? Cause like I know you and Rambo—" Eddie points at Nancy "—don't exactly go in the water anymore, but the least you can do is take your shirt off. It's hotter than Satan's ass out here, and that's a lot coming from me. Considering my reputation with knowing him personally and all."

Steve looks out at the backyard, at the kids in the water, at Robin trying hopelessly not to stare at Nancy, and he contemplates for a moment. He could lie to Eddie, but that didn't feel right. They had grown too close for that. He could tell him to shove off, and Steve knows that Eddie would, no questions asked. It doesn't feel right either. Because for once, Steve wants. Steve aches. So he turns to Eddie slowly and says "I don't want them to stare."

Steve doesn't specify who. He doesn't think he needs to. It's not really anyone really. Or maybe it's everyone.

Instead of telling him they won't stare, or he has nothing to be ashamed or that he's a hot piece of ass, Eddie says "Why don't you want them to?"

Steve feels like he's been hit by a truck.

He takes a sharp breath "I—I just feel—" He tilts his head back trying to hold back tears before looking at Eddie again "—It just makes me feel like a thing. Like something to observe. The scars, they are just awful. And I know yours are the same but it's just different. It fits you, not me. I'm not sure anything fits me really. And—and even if it's not the scars they stare cause they think I like it, like it's a compliment. But I don't believe it. It's not true. It never has been, even before the Upside Down. I'm just Steve. I'm just here and..." he trails off. Steve doesn't even think he is making any sense in the slightest. But then he sees Eddie's face through the tears, so serious and kind, and Steve sees that Eddie just gets it.

Without hesitation, Eddie stands up and grabs Steve's wrist lightly, and drags him up. "C'mon" is all he says before taking Steve inside.

Steve expects a speech, Eddie is famous for them, but instead all he does is pull him into the kitchen. "Let's make the kids lunch, yeah?"

So they do. For the next five minutes, they work in comfortable silence, preparing sandwiches. Steve's shoulder's relax, the tension begins to leave his body. He can feel Eddie's warmth at his side. Can hear Eddie start to hum the tune of "Everybody wants to Rule the World" next to him, even though Steve is certain Eddie hates Tears for Fears. And because Steve knows it's for him he can't help the smile that blooms across his face, dimples and all.

Suddenly, Eddie stops humming and takes Steve's face into his hands, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Steve's smile, albeit softer now, remains on his face when he asks, "What?"

Eddie leans in, a whisper away from his lips, and replies "Beautiful."

He then kisses Steve in the only way that can be described as devoted affection. It's warm and true. It's like coming home.

And Steve Harrington for the first time feels beautiful.

���——

When time moves on, and Steve has bad days, where he feels like he's rotting from the inside out, he remembers this moment. He remembers when his boyfriend saw him covered in sweat, tears, and mayo, and can't help but kiss him for the first anyway.

He remembers Eddie can't see anything beyond Steve's smile and think that he was anything but beautiful.

———

Do I develop Steve's character more than necessary? yes. Will it ever stop me? no. Sorry I love a good character study. I need to do one for Eddie next.

Not much to say here except, like steve says this might not make a whole lot of sense, but it felt good to get out. Sometimes it's okay to want to be called pretty. It's not shallow or vain. It's good for the soul. Hope the pacing was okay. Llet me know what to write next <3

[frizz-bee-2]

i needed to do this-- .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.

[withacapitalp]

Take a Joke

Normally, Steve could take a joke. 

He had built his entire high school career on taking a joke. That was how things had to run when you were popular. You sharpened your fangs against your ‘friends’ with thinly veiled insults and haughty looks to keep them in line. And, if you were the coolest and the coldest, you got treated like royalty, because everyone was too afraid of what you might do to even dream of tearing you down.  

Steve, who had spent his entire life watching his parents be cool and cold had risen to the top of the food chain with ease. He had become an Apex Predator in just his sophomore year, somehow hiding that he wasn’t like the rest of them in the slightest. He managed to conceal the fact that he cried every single time his father cut him to ribbons, and that he would sometimes have silent breakdowns in the bathroom when he got another failing grade. 

He never let them see his underbelly, never let them know when the words they casually shot at him carved into soft flesh, instead of the core of solid rock they all thought he had. 

It was survival, and Steve was good at surviving. 

Until he wasn’t. 

Read the rest on ao3!