#eddie diaz you are being HAUNTED

[catchascatchcn]

i am never not thinking about how kim is just Out There in los angeles. eddie runs into her at whole foods. she gets cast in a low budget local car dealership commercial and eddie can't watch local news ever again

[wilhelmloverera]

"I want your life to be happy and free and full of joy and im not sure that's possible with me in it" written to Chris by Shannon will never not haunt me because it extends to Eddie. It always extends to Eddie.

Her love was always there, even when asking for a divorce. She would always love Eddie though it would be as a person instead of as the husband she found after coming back. Its the same for Eddie - he loved her so much as a person, as the mother of his child, for who she was, but not as a wife. The letter shows the audience that Shannon was a key part of Eddie, but more to do with who he thought he had to be instead of who he was. With her in his life actively, he had to perform and hide, even from his own son just so he could give Chris his mother which is why we see Eddie lamenting over so many cases in s2 as he looks to what he feels like he needs to do instead of what he wants. Its something which haunts the narrative of ALL of Eddie's canonical romantic relationships with women up until s8 where he's encouraged to allow himself joy.

[wolfdeans]

I can see the show addressing the whole father and sons of it all with Ramon and Eddie and Chris especially after 8x04 and the convo he had with the cheerleaders father and that’s good that’s great if they address it well but I think the Helena of it all is going to haunt me forever if it’s not touched on with the comments “don’t drag him down with you��� and the way she’s so happy to have Chris as a do-over and how she was the present parent and the role she plays in the Diaz family dynamic and just how both his parents have fucked him up and how Eddie only really sees his dad as the messed up one

[eddiespornstache]

Eddie comes back from Vegas and he’s like … “Buck, do you remember Tommy Kinard?” and Buck very dishonestly says “yeah that pilot guy you’re friends with now, right?” like he didn’t spend the whole evening trying to explode Tommy and/or Eddie with his mind, he’s not sure, and Eddie’s like “yeah so I think last night we got married.”

and Buck waits for his psychic abilities to rage-manifest but they don’t so he says “Eddie, man, haha, you’re straight” and Eddie says “yeah well about that, we had wedding night sex and I definitely liked it more than I think I would have if I was straight” and Buck very seriously considers calling up Taylor to see if she’s got anything going on that night and would she like to inadvisably hook up because apparently everyone’s doing it

but he talks himself off that ledge and says “well you guys are going to get divorced right,” and Eddie’s like “yeah he’s already started on the paperwork but would it be crazy if I asked him out so we could try doing things in the right order?” and Buck is like, fuck it, I’m shooting Abby an email asking her for recommendations for Europeans haunts to completely ghost your old life in—

except he’d miss Maddie and Chris and Bobby too much so he’s stuck hanging around while Eddie very shyly comes out to his son, and starts kissing Tommy every time he brings him coffee at the station, and of course Tommy is nice enough to bring coffee for everybody else too, so Buck pours his down the sink without having a sip

and now when he goes to the Diaz house to pick Chris up for a Buck and Chris Day, Tommy’s there cuddling Eddie on the couch, or washing the dishes, or mowing the yard in a very revealing tank, which, who’s he showing off for if he’s supposed to dating Buck’s best friend anyway?? Buck should be the one wearing slutty clothes since he’s the one who’s single. which he does. to prove a point.

and Eddie and Tommy keep inviting him to hang out with them and Eddie keeps saying it’s important all his best guys get along, so what’s Buck supposed to say to that? no to going the beach and bowling and the airfield with them? no to going out to dinner at a very classy upscale restaurant? no to drinking too much pinot noir and going have a crisis bathroom? no to accepting their invitation to go to Vegas the next week?

no to stumbling into the Vegas hotel room feeling finally feeling those mental explosions going off in a new way with Eddie gasping into his neck and Eddie’s hands curling around his hips and the look in Tommy’s eyes not being jealous at all, but hungry? and has Buck always wanted to kiss his best friend’s boyfriend like that? and why does it seem, from the way Eddie’s steering him toward Tommy, that said best friend very much wants that to happen in front of him, right this second?

and when Buck wakes up the next morning, and Eddie’s nestled in the dip of his collarbone and Tommy’s hand is splayed possessively over his stomach, there’s no rings or certificates. but Buck has said “I do” to something, and as the morning sun streams in through the windows since they forgot to pull down the shades, he can’t really bring himself to regret it

[daniclaytcn]

What do you think are the fandom ~~classic buddie fics?

i think this is a very subjective opinion, but i can tell you which fics i really love and constantly re-read—and which, in my opinion, should be read by everyone in the fandom :)

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by @hmslusitania Rated M | 44k | Completed Summary: An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed. While they navigate their new family circumstances—and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts—a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.

a bleeding sun on a silver screen by rarakiplin Rated M | 130k | Completed Summary: One day, Buck will tell an interviewer that he would be happy to make movies with Eddie Diaz until the day he dies. But first, years before that, he sees Eddie for the first time on the set of Chimney’s fifth movie. (or, the actors au)

i want your midnights by @littlespoonevan Rated T | 36k | Completed Summary: In which Eddie decides to rent out his spare room to help with mortgage repayments right around the time Buck decides to move out of Abby's place after some not so gentle prodding from Maddie. It's a coincidence. Or serendipity. Or maybe just really good timing.

maybe we'll make something by @buckactuallys Rated E | 76k | Completed Summary: On a road trip with Christopher, Buck and Eddie finally work through their various traumas, and Eddie faces his parents again.

what a heart can do by @bvckandeddie Rated T | 86k | Completed Summary: In which Buck becomes the guardian of the daughter he never knew he had. Together, they discover what happiness truly means to them.

Hot Ghost Problems by ebjameston Rated T | 40k | Completed Summary: Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do. Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year. (Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)

Both Blade and Branch by @cal-daisies-and-briars Rated M | 62k | Completed Summary: The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back.

we're not in love (but the sex is good) by elless Rated E | 15k | Completed Summary: Eddie is new to LA. Feeling lonely, he goes to a bar for a drink and meets a beautiful stranger that kisses like a dream. What starts as a one night stand quickly moves to frequent no strings sex. When circumstances lead to them spending time together out of bed, Eddie realizes he’s attached to Buck in a way he never planned for.

for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes Rated M | 113k | Work in Progress Summary: The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

things we shouldn't do by Ingu Rated T | 21k | Completed Summary: The one where Buck and Eddie accidentally get set up on a blind date with each other, and everything snowballs from there.

[theladyyavilee]

I know we've talked about this season thematically being a bit of a s4 speed-rerun, but the more I think about it the more it feels so real (I mean it follows similar beats not even just for buddie, with the mid-season jee-birth/wedding parallel for madney and the juxtaposition of giving up nia/taking in mara for henren, and presumably Bobby's arc now having similar beats to the lead up to his and athena's fight at the end of s4 and Bobby in peril, as well as the bathena mud slide and bathena cruise ship parallel 👀😌) and I am just over here like 👀👀

with the way "this doesn't change a thing" felt similarly foreshadowy/famous last words as "the universe doesn't scream" and the way the will reveal invoked the Diaz parents and now we get actual Diaz parents and everything is pointing to Eddie (and/or Chris tbf) in serious peril, I kinda can't help but to expect the ghost of Shannon (in whatever way she appears, be it a lookalike or family member or hallucination/dream/memory) to give an equivalent to "make sure you are following YOUR heart, not christopher's" and I am sooooo 👀👀👀 over that possibility

(also man I keep coming back to remembering convos about the shooting scene and how hard it'll be to top that scene, but if any show could do it it'd be 911, and like buck in the room and the lightning strike and the kinkley kiss came close in feeling monumental as scenes, but had not quite this same feeling of every single frame and choice being a masterpiece and so full of intention, but they haven't done a scene quite like it since and now I can fucking TASTE the fucking potential for a scene that will be an equivalent and will top the shooting scene and IT IS SERIOUSLY HAUNTING MY EVERY WAKING THOUGHT)

[princessfbi]

for the prompt game- buddie kiss #6 🫶🏻

Kiss + 6. Needing to kiss to hide from bad guys + Buddie

Buck would like to state for the record that he had been the one who had said it was a bad idea. Oh! How could you be so reckless, Buck? Stop chasing trouble Buck! Don’t even think about it Buck!

Well not this time!

This time, Buck had been the one to say it was a bad idea! He’d been the one who needed convincing okay! He’d been the one talking sense! Just because Eddie had big brown eyes and that soft spoken way his voice got when he was trying to talk you off a ledge didn't mean he didn’t go a little crazy every once in a while!

Buck had tried to stop him, okay! He had been the one who had been influenced this time! Badly influenced!

Just so everyone was clear.

Besides, it’s wasn’t like Eddie was wrong! That little victory smirk had been enough to make Buck weak in the knees even in the seedy dark bar where the music was pounding a migraine into his skull and everywhere they looked someone was covered in leather and a scowl.

Confirmation that the man they’d been looking for was a regular haunt at the bar should’ve been enough to take to Athena and let her handle it. But then Eddie had disappeared in the crowd where Buck lost sight of him and it wasn’t like he was going to just leave him!

Fifteen minutes. Fifteen heart pounding minutes Buck searched for Eddie in the dimly lit bar with a possibly seriously bad dude(s) surrounding them.

It was reckless and it was dangerous. Two things Buck was used to being accused of but not with Eddie. Eddie was no saint. He was evil! He was an evil man who teased Buck until his face was burning. Hen called him a troll once, reveling in the chaos quietly and enabling some of Buck’s crazier ideas. But Eddie was never reckless.

Buck didn’t know if he liked Eddie and reckless being so friendly with one another either.

Buck scanned every inch of the bar until he finally found a door that led to the back alleyway. The cool breeze against his too hot face was heaven as he peered out into the dusk late summer air looking for Eddie. The alleyway was empty and shrouded in shadows from the building but Eddie’s dead body wasn’t anywhere to be seen in the small space so simple miracles, Buck supposed. The excited waves of adrenaline had curdled into worry and he was two seconds away from saying screw it and calling Athena when two hands landed in the middle of his back and shoved him.

Buck yelped as he stumbled out into the alleyway. He whirled around with his hands up ready to ward off whatever would’ve come his way. He wasn't much of a fighter but he could hold his own! But then Buck saw Eddie and the way he was quickly close the door behind them without letting it slam before turning to him.

“Eddie!” Buck snapped. “What the hell Where did you—”

Whatever else Buck had been about to say was lost when Eddie fisted his shirt and pushed him the rest of the way, brick meeting his back with a simple whoosh of the remaining air in his lungs leaving his lips.

“Follow my lead,” Eddie said before his mouth captured Buck’s own.

Holy shit!

No, seriously! Holy shit!

Buck stiffened as he stared down the length of his nose because holy shit! Eddie was kissing him! Eddie! Eddie Diaz, his best friend, his partner, and the subject of Buck's nearly every waking thought. Eddie was kissing him and—

The tip of his tongue caressed Buck’s top lip and Buck melted instantly as the most embarrassing sound fell from him. Eddie didn’t seem to mind. He just took the slight parting of Buck's lips as the invitation he needed to turn Buck’s whole world upside down.

Buck’s heart pounded twice against his breast bone as Eddie pushed up against him, plastering his body to Buck’s as his hands slipped from his waist to skim up beneath his shirt and along the slope of Buck’s spine. Buck couldn’t do anything else but hold on and open his legs for Eddie to fit between.

Buck’s brain had to have been melting from his ears because no way was Eddie kissing him. He was dreaming! He was—

The door crashed open behind them and Buck jumped at the sound but Eddie’s arms only tightened around him, holding him steady as he stoked a current in Buck’s blood stream that released a moan from the depths of Buck’s soul. He could feel the hard outline of his cock, burning and solid against his own, and Buck’s lingering sense of the world was sizzling away as pleasure rippled through him.

“Ah Jesus!”

Buck barely even heard the curse over the way his blood was roaring as Eddie rutted up against Buck with an expert roll of his hips that sent Buck careening onto his toes. Eddie chased after him, swallowing and sucking every sound from Buck like it was oxygen and he was starved for them.

Eddie’s hands rucked up Buck’s shirt and exposed his skin to the cool air, rubbing brick marks into his back and Buck needed more friction. He needed more of Eddie. He needed more more more.

Buck curled a leg around the back of Eddie’s thigh as he chased after that feeling.

“I don’t need to see this.” A gruff voice snarled. “Get a fucking room.”

Then the door swung open and shut with a slam and Buck came crashing back down to reality as Eddie pulled away.

Air burned down his throat as Buck sucked in gulps. He stared back at Eddie, confused and begging every superior beings in the universe not to let him come in his pants at the sight of him. Eddie’s lips were swollen and spit slick with the pink hue of a beard burn across his mouth as he smirked back at him. But Eddie’s eyes were wild and electric and gleaming with the most infuriating obliviousness that had the power to break Buck’s heart.

“I got it!” Eddie said, holding up a flash drive. “Let’s get out of here before they come back!”

And Buck, still reeling, could only follow as Eddie raced out of the alley.

[evanbuckleyrecs]

Any recommendations on hurt-comfort Buddie that will make you cry? HEA please!

I started to answer this but accidentally clicked on a Tumblr link so I gotta start over 😂

I haven't read Buddie fics in a while so these are a bit older. (I'm going to catch up soon! I've just been in a phase where I'm either reading Teen Wolf fics or physical books)

Also haven't updated my bookmarks yet. Sadly a lot of great authors I'd normally recommend have turned anti-Buddie since April and I'd rather not promote them in Buddie posts if they're not safe to follow anymore as a Buddie fan.

Please check the tags of a fic before reading in case something is triggering for you!

the things that haunt me in the middle of the night by justhockey

2,4k, rated G

He gasps for breath and it feels like a reflex - like coming up for air after being sucked under. Like a desperate, manic thing.

He’s safe, he knows that. Knows he was never really in much danger anyway. But the sound of it all - the waves, the rain, the crashing and the thundering - it echoes in his head, ricochets through his bones. It lives inside of him, he guesses, even after all these years. That fear, the exhaustion, the crippling terror of finding the surface only to realise that Christopher was gone.

He rubs at his sternum, tries to breathe deeply, tries to blink away the memories of the day the water nearly took everything from him.

I let my guard down by bucksclipboard

6,5k, rated M

"It didn’t stop. Buck went from hoping the packages were from someone special to suspecting someone was toying with him. The hopeless romantic in him was slowly wilting. When he opened the latest letter, suddenly he was not so sure his secret admirer was of the good-natured kind. "

or: who needs police protection when you have eddie diaz by your side?

Cut me slack (I've watched your heart stop) by kat_atthewisco

Rated G, 5,4k

“Well, unfortunately I am calling you specifically for your role as Mr. Buckley’s power of attorney. He does need a couple of decisions made about his care that he’s not fit for at the moment. If you’re able to get here soon that would be best, I can’t tell you much over the phone.” To her credit, Deirdre does sound apologetic, and Eddie’s panic has begun to ratchet back up.

“I’ll be there as fast as I can, is he- please, how bad?” Eddie repeats.

In which Eddie gets The Call from Cedars-Sinai while he's off work thanks to a healing injury. Being Buck's emergency contact is suddenly a very real thing.

Never More To Leave Here by devirnis

Rated T, 10,2k

"Can you remind my brother that we were supposed to get lunch?” Maddie asks.

“Uh sure,” Eddie says slowly, confused. “But why don’t you just call him yourself?”

“I did, a couple times, but he didn’t answer. I assumed he was still with you?”

Eddie thinks back to last night, to Buck specifically making plans to go back to his own place so he wouldn’t be late for lunch with Maddie. Buck had texted him when he got home, just a simple night :) that still made Eddie’s heart flutter, so obviously Buck had made it back to the loft… But there haven’t been any texts from Buck all morning. Not that that is necessarily unheard of, but especially over the last few weeks it’s become rarer and rarer for even a few hours to go by without Eddie’s phone dinging with a message notification from Buck.

A small tendril of worry curls around Eddie’s ribs.

BTHB: locked up & left behind

Diagnosis: Dumbass by snarkymuch

Rated T, 2,7K

Christopher scrunched his face, then stopped rummaging through his pack to grab something from the ground—something that turned out to be his phone.

“No, nope—who do you think you’re calling?” he asked, trying to reach for it, but Christopher had already hit the button, dialing someone—whom he’d bet anything was his father.

Christopher pulled away, out of reach, phone to his ear, then a moment later saying, “Yeah, I’m okay, dad—yeah, I know—no, but he fell out of a tree—”

“He is fine, though!” Buck yelled, hoping to stop the inevitable freakout from Eddie. “Eddie, do you hear me? I’m fine!”

--or--

Buck takes Chris out for a light hike, somehow ends up falling out of a tree, and Chris patches him up while waiting for his dad to arrive.

Presumed Dead by inkonmyheartandonthepage

Rated G, 4,4K

The fresh air was supposed to have been good for Buck. A small hike that he had done a million times. A nice hike that gave him a workout and at the same time allowed him to sift through his thoughts and feelings and to focus on what he really wanted.

Instead, he’s stuck in the middle of nowhere at a rest stop watching some asshole drive away in his jeep.

OR

The 118 crew arrive a fender bender only to find it's Buck's jeep on fire and the body inside dead and burning.

The monsters turned out to be just trees by Ink_Dancer

Rated T, 8,4k

Buck and Eddie are searching for a missing person, and they're already lost in the woods when Buck gets injured and makes their situation a lot more complicated. With the sun going down, they're forced to spend the night outside, with only each other for warmth and shelter.

(set post-buck's recovery from the firetruck, but no other specific time markers. nebulously within the show's canon.)

It's what my rotting bones will sing when the rest of me is dead by heartbeatdiaz

Rated T, 12,4k

"Eddie? Eds, can you hear me?” Buck rubs his knuckles against Eddie's sternum, a little too harsh, a little too desperate. "Eddie!"

Eddie croaks out a weak, barely there, whine as Buck's knuckles do the trick and his eyes open in slits.

"Evan?" He chokes out, his voice so hoarse and raspy that it must have been hurting his throat. "You're real?" He whispers in awe, his hand twitching as his side like he wants to reach up to Buck— touch his face— but he's too weak to do that. Eddie's brow furrowed but a small smile graces his lips, barely there. "I didn't give up. I made it home to you."

or;

the one where a call goes wrong and leaves everyone thinking eddie was dead, buck finds about the will through a letter and comes to some other revelations in the process.

and in which eddie finds his way back home and finally gets to be happy with the love of his life.

BTHB Prompt: Missing and Presumed Dead

Let me go by tawaifeddiediaz

Rated T, 8,1K

For the first time since he met him, he wasn’t sure where Buck was, and it was driving him insane. His shift ended three hours later than Eddie on Tuesdays, and today, he had texted saying that he was going to pick up groceries.

After that, he hadn’t returned back home.

Kindness: What Connects Us by FandomLife54

Rated T, 9,6k

Still off balance, Buck slams his left heel onto the roof, heaving forward to catch the collar of that yellow shirt. And there’s no conscious decision making here. It’s all instinct, and he’s grateful for it. If he’d given his overzealous mind the chance to consider another way, he would have missed his shot. Instead, his arms hurl the boy into the hands of another survivor...

And his right foot misses the edge.

OR

Buck catches Chris before he rolls off the firetruck, and it's him who falls back into the retreating waters of the tsunami. Unconscious and seriously injured, he's unaware that his team has been searching for him, never giving up as the days pass.

A leaf falls on loneliness by iimpossible_things

Not rated, 11,1k

Buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that.

But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.”

—you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting—

So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence.

And I watched a part of myself die 'cause no amount of freedom gets you clean by himbobuckley

WARNING: rape/non-con. Rated T, 10,2K

Buck goes out drinking after a particularly tragic call and the night takes a turn for the worse when he's targeted and assaulted. Struggling in the aftermath and unsure how to handle it, Buck tries to distance himself from his friends and family, believing that with time he can simply move past it on his own. Eddie notices something is wrong with Buck and desperately tries to get through to his friend, fearing the worst.

or:

Buck goes through the fucking ringer. eddie notices something's horribly wrong. you can contact my lawyer for emotional damages.

or:

“I heard about what happened yesterday,” Eddie says softly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. And that I didn’t know. I should’ve gone out with you, or made you come over, or-”

“Eddie,” Buck interrupts. “It’s- it’s okay. I just went out drinking. It’s fine.”

“Drinking alone?”

“Yeah,” he stammers. “Yeah, alone.”

“Hey listen, why don’t you come over tonight? We can do a movie night. And… I have something to tell you.”

“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Buck murmurs, feeling the tears welling up again. “I don’t think I can tonight.”

“Hey, wait Buck-”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Blue skies by spaceprincessem

36,7k, rated T

“Most babies are born as accidents,” She says suddenly, like she’s decided that Buck has passed, that she can trust him with this.

Buck doesn’t really have an answer because that question hits way to fucking close to home. A year or so ago he would have said, yes, I was an accident, so I know how that goes, but Buck knows better now. Knows that he would almost give anything for that answer to still be yes. Evie’s finger works under the seal to rip it open, a stack of important looking papers dumping out onto the table in front of her.

“Not me,” she says without looking up as she organizes them into a neat stack, “I was engineered.”

And.

And Buck’s pretty fucking sure a giant, cataclysmic hole has ripped right open, dragging him down to the earth’s core where he vaporizes into dust.

{or Buck meets another savior baby and everything comes crashing down}

Leave The Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania

Rated M, 44,4k, fandom classic

“We’re here for our grandson,” Helena says.

“Chris is still sleeping,” Buck says.

“I meant, we’re here to take him back to Texas,” Helena clarifies.

“Yeah,” Buck says. He’s too tired, way too tired to be tactful. “Over my dead body.”

--

An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed.

While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.

Over The Age, Over Again by mintedwitcher

Rated E, 16,5k

EXCERPT:

He would’ve fallen down the cliffside if it hadn’t been for Bobby on the winch. Because that… that’s Buck’s jeep. There’s no denying it, no mistaking it. That is Buck’s jeep. Hanging almost sideways off a ledge, the driver’s side doors flung open with the force of the fall. And further down… no. No it can’t be… a man, smashed against the rocks. A massive pool of blood. But Eddie can see the familiar white sneakers against the dirt.

No Sight For Heart Eyes by znks

Rated E, 20,5k

“Buck, Karen, and Eddie stayed on the couch and talked while the kids settled on the floor to draw. It all felt so wonderfully normal that Eddie found himself forgetting that he hadn’t just closed his eyes in serenity as he leaned against Buck.

That’s what made the spell breaking so painful.

“Dad! Look! I drew the firetru- Oh, wait, it’s okay you can see it when you’re all better!” Christopher said it so cheerfully, not even hesitating before going back to swapping out pens with Denny.

But Eddie felt it like a shot to the chest.

He couldn’t see his son’s drawings.

Buck and Karen had barely paused in the conversation, but Eddie could hear how strained it became, both of them obviously knowing exactly how heartbreaking the moment had been. Buck’s arm wrapped more tightly around Eddie’s waist, chin resting on his shoulder.”

losing your sight for a week sucks but at least eddie has buck to guide him through his healing or at least through his own house

This has inspired me to go read more recent hurt/comfort Buddie fics! I haven't been super active on this account but hopefully I can update this soon :)

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Favorite Buddie fics of 2023!

Every single year at @epicstuckyficrecs I used to do a fic rec at the end of the year with my favorite fics. I figured I should keep the tradition going! So, without further ado, these are my favorite Buddie fics (in no particular order) published in 2023! (you can also check out some other favorite Buddie fics of mine here)

If you have any favorites that aren't in this list, don't hesitate to share them in the comments! :)

Complete

find a way to you (if it kills me) by foxwatson/ @eddiediazes (Post S6E13: Mixed Feelings, Pining | 19K | Mature): the one where eddie decides to start dating again, buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief

let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-Coma AU | 54K | Explicit): or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along

Being Eddie by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Time Travel, Post-Season 6, Getting together | 80K | Teen): When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, he’s presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him. OR: Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica.

Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Coma AU, Multiverse | 58K | Teen): After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime.

like a dog with a bird at your door by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 51K | Explicit): or, evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home

Both Blade and Branch by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S6 | 62K | Mature): The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back.

where all of the people dancing and clapping would greet me with such warmth by trysetmeonfire/ @try-set-me-on-fire (Season 6, Magical Realism | 15K | Mature): In the fall, Buck begins to disappear. (Part 2 of All I Am, All That I Am)

Nothing Left But You by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars ("Blip" AU | 27K | Teen | Warning: MCD): In May of 2021, 25% of Earth's population suddenly disappears. Including Eddie. In May of 2026, they all come back. Eddie finds himself suddenly in the middle of a world he doesn't recognize, where the people he loves most have changed significantly.

Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Canon Divergent - Supernatural Elements, Ghost Buck | 67K | Explicit): When Eddie's son claims he has an imaginary friend, Eddie doesn't think much of it. Christopher is seven, it's what kids do. But then weird things start happening around the house, and Eddie starts dreaming about a handsome blue-eyed man. Turns out, Christopher's friend isn't so imaginary. Their house is haunted.

come with me, together, we can take the long way home series by allisonRW96/ @homerforsure (Canon compliant | 105K | T to M):

Get me through the night; Make me feel alright (Post-S3 Finale | 11K | Mature): After an emotionally-gutting reunion with Abby, Buck turns to old coping mechanisms. Eddie helps him find a better way. In Uncertain Times, The Uncertain Rules Apply (Pre-S4 | 22K | Teen): Covid comes to LA. Eddie copes. Or doesn't. Holding out for Something More (Stuck in Reverse) (Post S4E3/Lone Star Crossover | 26K | Teen): LA is coming out of lockdown and the world is returning to some sense of normalcy. But going back to the way things were hurts more than Buck expected. While his therapist challenges him to confront what he really wants, the team takes a trip to Austin... and El Paso. so far from being free (S4E4: 9-1-1 What's Your Grievance?, S4E5: Buck Begins | 46K | Teen): That’s Daniel. He was our brother. Buck doesn’t know what to do with the past tense. He never had a brother. He’s always had a brother. He gained one and lost one in the same breath and it feels impossible.

Kink Club AU series by Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting, BDSM, Dom Eddie, Sub Buck | Complete | Explicit): Canon compliant one shots where Eddie works at a Kink Club as a side hustle and meets Buck there before his first shift in 2x01.

The Warmth (of You) (25K): aka where Buck and Eddie first meet at a kink club before the firehouse To Weather the Storm (With You) (21K): aka the fallout of Buck finding out the dom he met at a Kink Club is his new coworker Safe Here (With You) (20K): aka Buck and Eddie handle working a shift after their first scene The Building Pressure (of You) (15K): aka Buck reaches out to Eddie after he leaves Abby's place in 2x07 An Offer to Torment (You) (14K): aka Eddie is all twisted up inside about what to do with Shannon. Buck offers himself up for some much needed holiday stress relief.

like when the sun came out by spaceprincessem/ @spaceprincessem (Canon Divergent, Ghosts | 39K | Mature): Evan gave up trying to explain what happens to him after his parents forced him to have a talk with one of their friends, supposedly a pediatric therapist, and cruelly hinted that if Evan didn’t stop seeing and talking about his “invisible friends” as if they were real then his parents would send him far away to places where they lock children up in padded rooms. “Look,” Evan says quickly, forcing out the words before he gets too scared to speak,” I—I know this is going to sound crazy, but, um, ever since I was a kid I can see ghosts.”

tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Post-S6, Time Loop | 43K | Mature): eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia

All My Shattered Oaths by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Vampires AU | 107K | Explicit): Eddie wants to stay away from his family’s legacy and give his son a normal life. Buck’s desperate to find a way to get over the love he lost. Fate has other plans for both of them.

Don't They Know It's the End of the World? by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Fallout 4 AU, Post-Apocalyptic | 32K | Mature | Warning: Violence): After being put in a cryogenic sleep for over a hundred years to wait out an apocalyptic event, Eddie Diaz wakes up, too early, to find his son has been stolen from his cryo-chamber. Scared and alone in a frightening world he doesn't recognize, Eddie is willing to do anything to get his kid back.

but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (Post-S6, Time Loop | 28K Mature): He puts his laptop away after a bit, and paces the length of his apartment as he tries to take stock of the situation at hand. One: The date is March 22nd, 2024. Two: It has been March 22nd for 3 days now. Three: Buck is trapped in some kind of time loop that is forcing him to relive this day. Four: Eddie is, apparently, in love with him. And. And. Five: Buck doesn’t feel the same way.

WIP

And here are my favorite WIP that I really hope will continue to be updated in 2024! 🤞

for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 11/? | 96K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 104/? | 283K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Precious & Fragile Things by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Small Miracles AU, Angel Buck | 10/? | 25K | Teen): Buck is the Fallen Angel of Petty Temptation, who has been tasked with tempting human Eddie Diaz to sin and enjoy life, but just a little. He thinks the job will be easy - get in, get out, go back to Peru to continue messing around with eternity. But when Buck arrives in Los Angeles, he finds Eddie is harder to tempt than expected, and more compelling than Buck had hoped.

Right Where You Left Me by hyacinthusbloom/ @thebloomingheather (Canon Divergent, Post-S4, Angst | 89K | 20/? | Explicit | Warning: Rape/Non-con): "Therapy?" Eddie suggests. Buck almost laughs, but instead says, "I'll go if you go." Because he had fully expected him to be chicken shit, to disagree, and instead Eddie, the bastard, replies, "Deal." Or Buck never tells anyone that he slept with his therapist and deals with the butterfly effect years later.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 7/? | 12K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

[mazzystar24]

actually the hospital wing joke is starting to bother me a lot more because buck actually fucking died 😭and he didnt even change clothes from being at the hospital all day why would you say that to someone. ik it was a fakeout but bobby looked like he was fr coding on the table. and like just a couple weeks before chimney almost died?? like im sorry i only accept those kinda jokes from people who have known me for years and even then they can be a little upsetting.

thats the thing though!!!! id be perfectly fine with buck and tommy if they gave us more than actual crumbs. 709 felt like buck had more chemistry with ravi in the same scene that tommy was in! they’re supposed to be dating so why do they feel like colleagues? and why are the more emotional and vulnerable scenes getting given to EDDIE if they want me to support buck and tommy as a couple? why wasnt tommy at the hospital with them considering he’s said multiple times he wishes he had a family like the 118 does? why are the only times hes on screen now only establishing his jealousy and that gerrard exists? is that the only reason why hes still here?

actually i wanna get back to 706. it wouldve been so easy to keep tommy there but they wrote him out of most of the episode 😭 he couldve said for the bachelor party! he couldve helped them find chimney! he couldve done literally ANYTHING. chimney was confused as hell as to why he even showed up at the wedding at all 😭 but no!!! they had him show up, ignore what buck wanted, then leave so we could have buck and eddie performing their drunk mating rituals or whatever 🤸‍♂️ but yeah buddie who?

also im never letting go of the wedding singer comment btw because what was that. why did they make tommy reference a movie where the two leads in the ROMANTIC COMEDY start the story dating the wrong people. i feel insane about it actually. also him calling buck evan will forever confuse me until we get an actual acknowledgement in canon because literally why

and the humor falls so flat but eddie has the same type of humor and it never does. he was making fun of buck in 706 (the making chimneys wedding about him line) but it never actually felt serious to me?

anyway sorry for yelling in your inbox i have a lot of mixed emotions about this season -birthmark anon

Yes totally get that like I’m the same like me and my best friend will be saying downright horrendous trauma jokes to eachother that make people around us clutch their pearls but I feel like it takes a certain level of rapport to get to trauma joke level - ig not everyone is the same when it comes to that but I think that again the writers absolutely failed to give us enough bucktommy scenes that justify having this kinda line

AGHSKF NOT THE BUCK /RAVI AHJDKFKF 😭😭😭 THIS IS ESPECIALLY FUNNY WHEN YOU SEE THE BUCKTOMMY SCENE AT THE CEREMONY VS THOSE BUCKLEY DIAZ FAMILY STILLS (still bitter the scene got cut) like someone explain to me why the actual couple is coming across less couple-y

ALSO FR THO THE SARDONIC ENERGY IS JUST NOT BEING BALANCED RIGHT like it’s coming across more 🧍

Like i can’t remember who I was talking to the other day but I was saying like this 🧍emoji just embodies Tommy to me

EXACTLYYYYY LIKE PURELY UNHINGED TO HAVE SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE AND MAKE NO EFFORT TO USE THOSE EMOTIONAL BEATS TO DEVELOP THEIR DYNAMIC BUT INSTEAD CONTRAST THAT WITH THE VULNERABILITY BETWEEN BUCK AND EDDIE THIS EPISODE

AHSJKF we going back to 7x06 and that’s so valid of us AGSJKF DRUNK MATING RITUALS AHJDKFKF STOP IM CACKLING

THE WEDDING SINGER COMMENT HAUNTS ME ISTG BECAUSE EVERY NOW AND THEN ILL REMEMBER THIS COSTUME DETAIL AND WAKE UP IN A COLD SWEAT:

THE CALLING HIM EVAN THING I LEGIT MADE LIKE THREE THEORIES ON RANGING FROM POSITIVITY TO NEGATIVITY

YES ABOUT THE HUMOUR like there just isn’t that balance or lightness to even the joke out, like I’m a big dry humour and sarcastic girlie but it’s just not being delivered right in a way idk if it’s the writing or the acting or just the fact its most his very small screentime but it’s just falling flat to me

Never apologise for yelling in my inbox babe and same for the mixed emotions

Love ya birthmark anon byee 🫶🫶

[shammers86]

I’ve slept on it. And I find the breakup to be actually quite good to me. Let me get into it.

Someone else mentioned it but linking Tommy and Abby together is perfection to parallel these two relationships. Despite what people think, Abby was the first serious relationship he had. It may not have been serious for her but it was to him. And we cannot discount that, nor can we discount this relationship with Tommy. But linking the two of them really showcased that Buck really loves with his whole heart and yes he is impulsive when it comes to new relationships.

Buck went from 0 to 60 in this relationship, just like he did with Abby. However, the difference lies in the reasons why they left. And this just came to me.

Tommy left because he didn’t want to get hurt (really the unsaid Eddie of it all). Abby left because she needed to find herself. Buck has held onto relationships so he doesn’t get hurt. But now Buck really has to explore what liking men in addition to women means for him.

Tommy doing so, knowing Buck is still finding himself, really allows Buck to dig deep down and figure out why he’s fast forward through relationships. It’s selfish really. Tommy knows he’s not Buck’s last but being his first is just a special. Abby was the same for Buck. She helped change his view on casual flings and looking for love.

The one major difference in these two very similar relationships is the Eddie of it all. He went all in with Abby and when she left, he waited. But then Eddie (and Chris) came along and he found a new person to go all in on, even if he doesn’t know that yet.

Tommy, however, comes in with Buck and Eddie already established. If Buck is there, most likely Eddie is there too. And Tommy does go into this relationship knowing how these two are. And he was exactly like Abby, wanting to shoot his shot. Eddie’s straight after all right? Buck is a charmer and Tommy is like ok this could work.

But it doesn’t. Tommy realizes this as they celebrate their six month anniversary and seeing how Buck reacts to Tommy saying he can bring Eddie to the Lakers game definitely tells him he’s gonna get his heart broken eventually.

Him telling Buck this, saying I’m not going to be your last tells me everything in this breakup. Eddie has haunted their narrative from day 1. The minute Buck asks him to move in, he knows. He knows that if he goes further, then he’s gonna get hurt just like he hurt Abby and Abby hurt Buck.

His reasoning is actually kinda perfect if you look at it through the Abby lense. Buck was very offended that Tommy hurt Abby the way Abby hurt him. And once it’s shown they dated the same woman, Tommy is like oh. I can’t say yes because he’s misplacing his feelings again. And that he needs to walk away at this point. For Buck and for him.

Buck does need to see what else is out there. He needs to know that he can be attracted to both men and women and that it’s ok to be.

Tommy (and in part Abby) were stepping stones to his forever love. Tommy knew this and allowing Buck to settle into who he is now, his sexuality, is to be honest good for us and good for Buck.

Because after Abby left, Buck threw himself into the Diaz family. And Buck and Eddie need to find themselves

And love themselves before they can ever be together.

This is one step in the right direction for Buddie.

[sortasirius]

"Confessions" and the Beginning

Hello fellow clowns, genuinely fucking unbelievable episode amiright?

FIRST OF ALL, welcome back Bobby's hot priest, missed u bitch.

I really did miss just like regular calls last season, it's nice just to have a random silly one to start an episode.

GIRL I MISS CHRIS AS MUCH AS EDDIE DOES RELEASE HIM FROM HELENA DIAZ'S CLUTCHES!!!!

This man is going through the most insane confessions of his life. First Bobby saying he's a murderer and now Eddie saying that his son caught him with his dead mother like give this man a break lmao.

"I don't deserve forgiveness, I gotta go."

And this is the beginning of Eddie's thesis: what he deserves. More importantly, what he thinks he deserves.

Buck is literally like the most awkward man alive. He has zero game I love him sm.

Bitch. ABBY???? FUCKING ABBY?????? SHE IS BUCK'S SHANNON, CONSTANTLY HAUNTING THE NARRATIVE.

"I wonder how many men she turned gay" Maddie is Abby's number 1 hater (besides Eddie lmao)

"Unless there's another boy" JOSH PLEASE!!!!!

The Glee reference Tim Minear you will pay for your crimes lmao

It's interesting that he didn't even seem to consider taking the next step with Tommy until Josh brought it up. Also really interesting how he ends up framing their conversation later, like it's more of an "honoring Tommy" thing than a "I really want to move in with you" thing. Now this could just be awkward scripting or awkward (no game) Buck, but I think it's worth mentioning.

I just love Chim and Maddie so much they are my true north always.

Eddie's tank top? Yeah make that an everyday look for him good lord.

"I'm straight" YEAH SURE JAN WHATEVER YOU FUCKING SAY.

He's punishing himself by not choosing the juice because he doesn't think he deserves it, because he doesn't think he's allowed to take it... He is the obstacle in his own joy. What is that joy? What is he standing in his own way of?

"Because the LAFD doesn't allow beards."

"So it's a disguise?"

"Something like that."

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!! HELLO?????

"What are you afraid of seeing when you look in the mirror?"

"A failure. Someone that doesn't deserve forgiveness. Or joy."

I'm literally beating my fists on the ground. It's textbook. Fucking textbook. He's hiding from himself, hiding himself from himself, hiding from his joy.

Nothing like 911 to give you the most insane gutwrenching side plot of all time when I tell you I was SOBBING over those two brothers. (To be fair it's been an extremely hard week).

"I'm the himbo" HE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!!

Look let me just get this out of the way: I really loved bucktommy. I liked their dynamic and I liked what he was able to teach Buck about himself, but I think Tommy is ultimately right: he can see the writing on the wall, just in the same way he said "my attention?" in 7x04. He was Buck's first queer relationship, but he will not be his last. And I think Tommy has an idea who his last will be, even if he kept that part to himself.

I do think it was kind of an insane speedrun at the end there, I'm not sure why he couldn't just ask Buck to pump the brakes instead of fully breaking up with him.

It's also just a complete manifestation of Buck's greatest fear: abandonment. Abandoned by his parents, abandoned (through no fault of her own) by Maddie, abandoned by Abby, by Taylor, and now by Tommy. It sucks for him, and I hate it for him and for Tommy, who also doesn't seem to think he can have good things, and would rather beat Buck to the punch than actually take the risk and be vulnerable.

I think that this was a good learning experience for them both, and I think they'll both be better for it in the long run.

"I'll see you around, Buck" killed my ass.

MADNEY BABY MADNEY BABY MADNEY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And lastly, Eddie shaving off the mustache, his barrier from joy, and dancing around his house in his underwear. Finding the joy in being himself, finding the joy in his life again. And Buck knocking on the door, not asking any questions, and them sitting together on the couch, shoulder to shoulder each of their respective "barriers" gone.

They have some things to figure out, but we are so close that I can taste it, I can feel it.

I haven't felt this way since the last season of SPN, and while that didn't turn out the way I wanted (due to network and Robert Singer's meddling), I am confident that that is not where we're heading here. Tim Minear is back. The show is on the Shonda network. Buck is out and Eddie is on his way there. Gay Eddie. Buddie endgame. It's happening, and nothing will get me out of this clown car.

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, I got tagged by @daffi-990 @wildlife4life and @wikiangela for Inspiration Saturday and I wasn't going to post anything but then an hour ago I was taken by a half-wishful thinking half-speculation scene for the cruise disaster so have this 500ish word thing something happening to Bobby and Eddie having to hold Buck back. Also posting because @racerchix21 @passthe5sauceplease @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @sarcastic-nerd and @fruitandbubbles said they wanted to read this when I asked about it.

Eddie really didn’t have the time to think about it.  He was still disoriented, but when Buck started screaming, pushing himself up trying to run back into the water, he had his arms around him, holding him back before he was fully aware of what he was doing.  Not that Buck is making it easy.  Between the adrenaline and the way he’s using his whole body to struggle against his grip, Eddie is actually surprised he manages to keep him in place.  And the way Buck is screaming is something that will haunt him.  Even more when the screams stop being cries for Bobby and get redirected to Eddie to get him to let him go.  Not that Eddie thinks he can.  Buck would only get himself killed. 

Not that Buck seems to mind as he keeps struggling.  Eddie is sure he’ll have bruises tomorrow but he can’t let go.  Not when that would just mean Buck would end up hurting himself more.  There’s nothing they can do right now.  Other rescue teams are going in.  So he’s not letting go until Buck calms down.  Which might be a bad idea because Buck has switched from just struggling to plain fighting him.  “Let me go!” Buck cries, fists awkwardly hitting the arms Eddie has around him, trying to free his own long enough to push himself away from the way his back is pinned against Eddie’s chest. “No.” “Let me go, I need-” “No.” “Eddie.” “No.” “I need to do something!” Buck’s words are losing the heat, voice cracking as he keeps struggling. “No.” “Let me go!” “You can keep fighting me, I’m not letting you run in there.” “Damnit, Eddie, you can’t- I have- he- it’s not your choice, let me go.” “No.” “Eddie.” His name sounds almost sobbed, his struggle seeming more just about the need to keep moving now, and even if Eddie thinks that means Buck is ready to stop fighting him, it doesn’t mean that makes it any less heartbreaking to hear it.  “I’m not letting you go.” “Eddie, he can’t-” Buck sounds like he’s crying now, sinking into Eddie’s hold as he starts to shake. “They’re looking for him,” he tries to sound comforting but his voice is shaking, and he can’t make himself look at where the ship was before it all went to hell. He just adjusts his grip, makes it less about containing Buck and more about holding him up as he looks out at the water, “are you done fighting me?” He asks, voice almost a whisper, lips close to Buck’s ear as he drops his head back against his shoulder as he continues to cry, and he nods weakly, “think you can turn around?”  Instead of giving him an answer, Buck just shifts and he loosens his hold enough so that he can turn, hiding his face in Eddie’s neck, letting out a truly heartbreaking noise as he crumbles into him.  “I got you, I got you,” Eddie says, tightening his hold, because he can’t say it’s going to be okay as Buck fists the wet fabric of his shirt and cries.

taglist (interact with this post if you wanna get tagged or let me know if you don't wanna get tagged anymore)

@bucksbackwardcap @try-set-me-on-fire @slowlyfoggydestiny @maraskywalkers @lokeus @honestlyeddie @phantom090 @satvojihusana @disasterbuckdiaz @bbbugggz @queen-of-berk18 @geekwarrior107 @princehattric @eddieandhisbuck @hemmohoran @honestlydarkprincess @sherlockcrossing @chimchiminie98 @caroandcats @jesuisici33 @sparegarbage @wisegirl06 @buckley-diaz-rules @thebirdling @vampbuckley @fruitandbubbles @eddiescowboy @eddiebabygirldiaz @amitybrightlights @theotherbuckley @crazyaboutotps @aspecbuddie @evanbuckleysarms @missmagooglie @demieddiediazz @steadfastsaturnsrings @wikiangela @watchyourbuck @giddyupbuck @excuseme-greentea @kaseysgirl86-blog

[scoupsahoy]

not to take a silly firefighter show and its characters too seriously but we need to talk about eddie diaz and why he was miserable this season and it isn't because he's being tortured by the narrative. he is absolutely torturing himself because he does not know how not to

i don't mean that in a "he was a bad father and deserved to have his child taken away" way. i hope that's obvious.

i mean it in a "he has never learned to prioritize himself in his life and doesn't know how to try" way. i mean it in a "he would never have gotten involved with kim if he ever internalized the fact that shannon wanted a divorce because they were best friends and high school sweethearts and they were in love but that was never going to be enough" way. i mean it in a "he doesnt know how to ask for help before it's WAY too late" way.

season 7 wasn't torturing eddie because the narrative hates him. it was showing him what he could have if he cared to think about what he needs. if he ever thought he was worthy of that kind of thing. 90% of eddie's storylines in this season correlated with someone else's in a really purposeful way and the difference was that he did not ask for help until it was too late. the worst part is that he could see it all happening for everyone else and he could not reach out until he was in pain.

the narrative said: THIS is what can happen when you unpack that guilt you know you have. THIS is what can happen if you think about your relationships and what they mean. THIS is what can happen if you stop running from your past. THIS is what can happen if you acknowledge that what happened to you was horrible but it wasnt your fault.

eddie diaz is being haunted and taunted by the narrative because it is trying to speak to him and he is taking it as a threat.

[lonelychicago]

seven-ish sentences sunday! 📜🎥

tagged by @prince-buck-diaz @spotsandsocks @hippolotamus @panbuckley @wildlife4life <33

here's more from author!buck and actor!eddie au, plus another moodboard bc i cannot stop.

(also, if you wanna be tagged on this fic once i post, interact with this post)

"Can you read for Gabriel in Scene 23, where he's talking to officer Blake Scatorccio?" Chimney says, looking up from his notes. "Buck will read opposite to you." 

"Yeah, okay." Eddie swallows thickly. In the first books, Gabriel and Blake only have a few scenes, but in the second book their relationship grows stronger. 

Some fans even think the author might be building up to a romantic relationship, claiming it's a slow burn. Eddie isn't sure and he hasn't asked Buck, but just the idea of doing this scene with him makes his nerves set on fire. 

He'll be acting out Buck's words, words the man took time and effort and that he created oh so carefully, so masterfully. Eddie will be telling them to him, looking him in the eye and thinking— what exactly? 

"Eddie? Are you ready?" Buck raises an eyebrow at him. 

"Yeah, Ready." 

Buck clears his throat and starts the scene. 

"Gabe? What are you doing here?" 

"I'm dropping all of the evidence I gathered with Pipe in these last few months." He sighs, feeling as defeated as Gabriel does in the scene. "I just— I can't do it anymore." 

Buck frowns at him, just like he pictures Blake would be doing in the book. "What? You're just gonna give up?" 

"I can't keep going like this! Chasing after some psycho, being haunted by my wife's ghost. I—" Eddie runs a hand through his hair and pulls back. "I need to think of my son, okay? I can't keep doing your job for you, Officer Scatorccio." He sneers. He evokes every feeling of grief and frustration he felt when Shannon first left him with no warning, except for a note. He brings up every feeling of insecurity and of not being good enough to the surface, every feeling of rage and fury that's been simmering under the surface for longer than Eddie is willing to admit, and he pours them all into Gabriel's character. 

In the book and in the script, Blake gets impossibly closer to Gabriel, grabbing him by the arm and stopping him from walking away. In real life, Buck remains seated a few feet away from him. 

Eddie tries not to be disappointed. This is an audition after all and Buck is just reading the lines to move Eddie through the scene, that's how it goes. It's just business. 

"My hands are tied and you know it. The whole police department can't go after just one person, Gabe. You know that. We have too many cases and—" 

Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie can see Chimney. The director held in a rare thrall, the tip of his glasses inserted between his full, dreamy lips, that ankle crossed over the opposite knee, jiggling, jiggling. He looks impressed, Eddie thinks. Maybe. 

"And what?" 

"I think you're close. I think you are stronger and smarter than any one of us— You're extraordinary, Gabriel Alvarez and I am in awe of you every single day. You can't just give up." Buck gazes up at him, a smile gracing his lips, a small and barely there thing that doesn't really match the scene but Eddie can't bring himself to mind. 

"You are too good with words, Officer Scatorccio. But I don't know if I can trust them." Eddie looks down at the script, and then back up at Buck. "I don't know if I can trust you."

"Gabe, I—" And that's the end of the scene. Blake's partner interrupts them, claiming they need to go and Gabriel is left alone at the station. Confused and hopeless. 

Eddie takes a deep breath, telling himself it's over and he gave the scene the best he had. And he thinks he did pretty well— He thinks he did amazing, losing himself in the scene and in Buck's eyes, and hope sizzles under his skin, strong and powerful. 

"That was amazing, Eddie. You really seem to get the character." Chimney smiles at him, forcing him to look away from Buck. "It's really a beautiful thing to see." 

"Thanks." Eddie fidgets with the script. He knows they won't make a decision right then and there, and certainly not in front of him, but something keeps him frozen in place. 

His feet refuse to walk away. 

Hope inside of him moves and weaves through his system like a hurricane, not wanting to leave. 

"You really do understand Gabriel, Eddie." Buck speaks. "That was— Well, I guess Blake Scatorccio said it. Extraordinary." Buck says softly, maybe too soft for what the moment calls. "Thank you." 

Thank God it's dark in the rear of the studio. No one can see the tomato-colored tidal wave surging up Eddie's neck.

"Again, thanks so much for the opportunity." Eddie says, feeling his lips dry up. "I, uh— Yeah. Thanks." He awkwardly waves and turns away, hope trailing behind him like a neon sign showing how much he needs, how much he wants this. He wonders if they can see it. He wonders if they care. 

He thinks Buck might. 

tagging (no pressure): @monsterrae1 @alyxmastershipper @buddierights @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @bucktalias @maygrantgf @messyhairdiaz @ebdaydreamer @bekkachaos @cowboy-buddie @911onabc @shortsighted-owl @the-likesofus @elvensorceress @transbuck @transboybuckley @buckitup @prettyboybuckley @starlingbite

[notasecrettelepath]

Very belated update! Some more therapy, some more pain, a lot of love and Shannon Diaz haunts the narrative for the last time.

Chapters: 15/21 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)

Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) [Slow Burn - Angst with a Happy Ending - Post Season 5]

Rating: M | Words: 126k right now.

Summary:

The chapter where Eddie has a sex dream and goes to therapy for 3.5k words. Maybe unrelated, maybe not so much. Eddie and Chris have a ���take-care-of-Buck-day’, as the chronic pain in his leg flares up. Shannon haunts the narrative, but this time it's not Eddie's fault, as Buck edits a video of her for Christopher to remember her voice.

Longer Chapter Snippet:

Oh boy. Where does he even start.

Eddie Diaz is spiraling. This time, he hasn’t actively blown up his life yet… But Buck was set to go back to the station in very few weeks, so being physically close to him for 12 to 24 hours straight was an impending reality again. Which wasn’t weird, it was his safe space, actually. Except now, every time Eddie saw Buck, his mouth went dry and his hands went restless and Buck was hell-bent on getting back in shape after the lightning strike and he was posting all a-fucking-bout it on Instagram and he was walking around his house in gym clothes and Eddie just. Eddie felt like he wanted to enact violence upon the guy’s bones. Respectfully.

But he couldn’t say any of that. Actually, he was actively trying to not even think about that.

Because Eddie had been working on the notion that he might, yes, might, be starting to develop some deeper feelings for his best friend.

Maybe.

But he didn’t know what those feelings were yet, or where they came from. He was a man in his thirties. He’d never felt anything like that for— well, someone who’s not a woman. He didn’t really know he could. He wasn’t allowed to. And then he had a fight with Buck and Buck was struck by lightning and Eddie had gone through all stages of grief in faster-than-light speed while waiting for him to wake up. So that, like, didn’t feel super platonic.

Eddie was a smart man, he could admit to it now. 

Well. Not exactly admit to it. It was more like — Eddie’s brain couldn’t really deny it anymore, he had officially moved away from the denial stage of it all. But still, everything he said to Buck was true. He had no idea what those feelings were. Eddie knew he really fucking cared about Buck and loved him very much, you know, as a friend. Eddie knew that the possibility of losing Buck had torn him apart and mangled his insides. Eddie knew the image of Buck carrying Christopher to bed had been burned into his brain. Eddie could even accept that, when Buck had played guitar and sang for him, it turned his entire worldview upside down, because he wasn’t aware he could feel like that for someone other than— other than Shannon, honestly.

But then, two days after that, Eddie woke up from a very intense wet dream about— Well. You know who about. Eddie still isn’t in a place he can just, like. Think freely about it yet. He doesn’t know who can see inside his head, because maybe Bobby actually could, and he was a secret telepath this entire time and hadn’t told anyone about it, so Eddie can’t just like, think it, you know.

After the dream, he’d been so pent-up his entire shift that everyone noticed his weirdness. He definitely did not allow himself the privilege of release. And he felt like he was going insane. And Bobby kept throwing at him knowing glances. And well maybe he was a secret telepath, but it’s actually more probable he wasn’t, right? So Eddie couldn’t ask, right? Because that’d be crazy. And Eddie wasn’t crazy, he was just a lapsed catholic.

Well. All that meaning — Eddie is spiraling.

So, that’s what he says to Frank: “I think I’m spiraling.”

...

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