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haithhegimp · 3 months ago

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Jason Todd is Mentally Sixteen During Under The Red Hood*

(The overly long introduction is all in brackets! You will not experience too much confusion should you choose to skip, so feel free to skip. The content of the post will be under the cut.

*As always with the DCU, consistency is far more dead than the Waynes could ever be. This post is about Jason's timeline from UTRH, and only UTRH. I will use a couple of sources from other places for information we cannot confirm from UTRH, but can vaguely assume are true there. However I will not be talking about the timelines from other media, and especially not other continuities, in this post. I will also be interpreting certain scenes, and that ultimately makes this post somewhat subjective.

I love UTRH a lot, and I found that most other Jason fans love it too. We often use it as a major content source and base a lot of our opinions and feelings surrounding Jason on it. However, in hyperfixating and re-reading it several times over, I have realised that a lot of us miss a major detail that gets exposition-ed to us in Chapter 14/[Batman(1940) Annual #25]!

Of course, if you've come to the same conclusions as I have, and choose to ignore them, then absolutely more power to you. I'm not here to police which canon you folks choose to stitch together and treat as your own, if you choose to interact with canon at all. These are all just comics, have fun!

On top of that, it sometimes gets vague and up to interpretation (which is honestly an aspect I kind of like) so this can all be considered my own opinion if you personally disagree with an interpretation I make <3

Anyways, a lot of us enjoy the angst factor that comes out of Jason being young, but not many of us realise exactly how young he is. This is something I wish to explain to you folks for your content consumption pleasure ^^

Overly long introduction done, yo!)

1. Jason dies at 15 years old.

I am so sorry, I could not find a primary source for this.

Secondary Source A- Word of mouth. Various different Tumblr and Reddit posts I have found when looking this up have listed Jason as being 15 when he dies. Including this post from @thebatmanfiles-blog, this post from @fuckyeahjasontodd, this post from @oh-mother-of-darkness, and these posts from u/GooderCand and u/InDarknessOftFindI

Secondary Source B- Jason's death certificate from [The Batman Files]

Not to be mistaken for [Batman Secret Files], Matthew K. Manning's [The Batman Files] is not a canon DC property work, to my knowledge. (It's honestly kind of confusing, but I'm listing this as a secondary source because I am... pretty sure that [The Batman Files] is not a canon DC property, it is not available on the DC Database Fanwiki or the Official DC Website).

2. Jason Is Revived Six Months After His Death

[Under The Red Hood #14] / [Batman (1940) Annual #25] *(This is just a fun fact, feel free to skip. The page of Jason being alive is taken directly from the, at the time unreleased, [Batman #428: Robin Lives!], with only being slightly recoloured. Due to the gimmick of Jason's death, [Batman (1940) #428] had two different versions drawn out, and though I wasn't able to find any interviews or comments about this on shallow research, it's nice to imagine that the producers of UTRH wanted to showcase Aparo and DeCarlo's unseen efforts ^^)

Jason was originally supposed to live (according to the narration)-- we can use this to say that his injuries (by comic book logic) were non-fatal.

Jason, in his coffin, is shown with the same injuries as his dying-but-not-supposed-to-die-body-- we can use this to say he is biologically 15 when revived.

After Revival Jason's Chronological Age- 15.5 Jason's Biological Age- 15 Jason's Mental Age- 15

3. Jason Gets Into A Coma For One Year

[Under The Red Hood #14] / [Batman (1940) Annual #25]

After digging himself out of the grave, Jason is hit by a car (man, he cannot catch a break)

He is hospitalized and operated on, before going into a coma for One Year

General-Comic-Book-Logic and Actual Research (I sincerely apologize but I'm not looking through genuine medical documents to verify this one, I'm just gonna trust the basic google search) both agree that coma patients do not mentally age

This means Jason's mental age stagnates for One Year

One Year After Revival Jason's Chronological Age- 16.5 Jason's Biological Age- 16 Jason's Mental Age- 15

4. Jason Spends Two Years Catatonic*

[Under The Red Hood #14] / [Batman (1940) Annual #25] *The original describes this state as Jason being run by his instincts, without reason, clarity, or memory. Fans have labeled this as catatonia. I will be referring to this state as catatonia for convenience sake.

Jason wakes up from his coma, but is catatonic

He spends One Year being homeless and living off of instincts (man, he CANNOT catch a break)

[Under The Red Hood #14] / [Batman (1940) Annual #25]

An international game of telephone occurs when a thug sees Jason doing some Robin moves

The Al Ghul's are at the end of the line and kidnap Jason

They keep him, in his catatonic state, for One Year

It is unclear, at this point, whether Jason's catatonia has impaired his mental aging

Three Years After Revival Jason's Chronological Age- 18.5 Jason's Biological Age- 18 Jason's Mental Age- ???

5. Jason Gets Dunked Into The Lazarus Pit

[Under The Red Hood #14] / [Batman (1940) Annual #25]

Here is where my interpretation comes in,

Jason's first words upon leaving the Pit are ["What!? What is happening to me!?"]

Jason, while running away with Talia asks, ["Talia?! What the hell do you-- Where was--!"]

Both of these show Jason being confused about his situation, and unsure of his surroundings. Especially the confusion in ["Talia?!"] means that he is surprised/confused to see her.

All of this goes to say-- he doesn't have any memory of how he came to be in this situation, and he doesn't have any memory of his time being catatonic.

HOWEVER!!! The possible counter-argument is that during his remembering sequence, Talia is a figure on screen, which has the mild implication that she is something he remembers?? This contradicts my interpretation but also has less evidence.

[Under The Red Hood #14] / [Batman (1940) Annual #25]

Jason remembers his death and the events leading up to it, but there is no mention of whether or not he remembers his years being catatonic.

I interpret this as him not remembering.

With My Interpretations, Three Years After Revival Jason's Chronological Age- 18.5 Jason's Biological Age- 18 Jason's Mental Age- 15

6. Jason Prepares For Being Red Hood

[Under The Red Hood #14] / [Batman (1940) Annual #25]

We get that... and then the BTS of Hush. That's literally all we get.

It's so unclear, I'm sorry it's really sort of impossible to give you even a vague estimate of how much time passes.

I've been trying to comb through the rest of UTRH to find things but we only get clear time stamps after Jason's debut as Red Hood. (i may have missed something, though! feel free to lmk if youve found a time stamp in UTRH before Jason's debut)

I only have my personal thoughts that it was probably a year or less between this and Jason's debut.

For the purposes of this post, we'll just say that roughly a year passes with training and preparation.

7. Jason Debuts As Red Hood

[Under The Red Hood #1] / [Batman (1940) #635]

So, at the start of Under The Red Hood, Four-ish Years After Revival Jason's Chronological Age- 19 - 20 Jason's Biological Age- 19 Jason's Mental Age- 16

And alternatively, if you mentally age him during his catatonic era, Jason's (alt) Mental Age- 18

(Now it is time for the Overly Long Conclusion! These will just be more of my personal thoughts and comments, and will be within brackets as well ^^

Honestly, despite me piecing this version of canon together, I don't usually subscribe to it lol. I find UTRH Jason attractive, and canon is what you choose to Frankenstein together, so I usually place him as actually around 19.

But if you consider the events of UTRH through the lense of a deeply traumatized and angsty teenager, that happens to have way too much power? It feels... oddly logical? Like, through this perspective, I look at Jason telling Bruce that he's the better Batman in quite possibly the most dramatic way ever and I go, "Oh of course he would, he's sixteen. I would say shit like that at sixteen if I had even half the baggage."

TBH, I don't think that Winnick actually considered this timeline when writing UTRH Jason, but it fits together really funnily well with his character.

It also makes everything quite a lot more tragic. With this perspective, its more than just losing his teenagehood to shitty circumstances. He is actively and presently still a teenager, a child, when in shitty circumstances. Jason is a sixteen year old child when his father slits his throat.

Actual For Realsies Not Just By Technicality Teenage Crime Lord is absolutely insane, deeply tragic, and more than a little bit funny to me.

If you read through all of this, I'd absolutely love to hear your thoughts and perspectives. Whether you see where I'm coming from, whether you have a completely different perspective, or whether you like thinking of this only sometimes! Hell, even if it's just to cry with me over The Tragedy of Jason Todd, I'd love to chat.

Thank you for your time, if you made it all the way through! Overly Long Conclusion done, yo!)

[My Drawing, lol]

#dc #dc comics #jason todd #red hood #timeline #under the red hood #rant #dc rant #batfam #hai rambles #hai's writing

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r1999isgonnakillmeoneday · 9 months ago

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i have been getting a tad bit too obsessed with reverse 1999 lately and compiled some stuff around might edit it if i find more

this yapping session will be abt sonetto

her name is deprived from a fourteen line poetry called the Sonnet while also having the meaning of “little song or sound’

her udimo is a dog called Cirneco Dell’Etna a breed that originated from italy as stated in her storyboard

she doesn't know her date of birth and uses the date of when she was adopted by the foundation as her birthday (January 10th)

she's 16 yrs old

she's speculated to be 5'3 ft or 160 cm

her compliments are so sincere that people are often too shy to face her (the rizzler)

back in SPDM she was worried about vertin's arcane skill exams and tutored her privately

a helper in the SPDM once found a challenge letter with pink heart patterns in the trash bin (might imply that the letter was from matilda to sonetto)

sonetto is an artist as stated in her 80% bond story and glassfeder's description

sonetto likes collecting newspapers and treasures them

every year she gets a present from vertin on her birthday which is mostly a collection of poems

it’s implied (this is really obvious) that she has a crush on the timekeeper/Vertin and has also been implied sonetto's va during the reddit Q&A

on her medal she has an embroidered dog on it (i just thought this was cute)

since she doesn't know much about the outside world or her culture she doesn't see anything wrong with pineapple pizza or gelato pizza for that matter (april fools and pizza hut collab comic)

she keeps a frog in a jar in her room

time for voiceline analysis

"Sempre caro mi fu quest'ermo colle.”

this quote is derived from the poem L’Infinito by Giacomo Leopardi in the autumn of 1819 the poem is meant to show how he yearns to travel beyond his restrictive hometown of Recanati and experience more of the world that he studied.

this can also show the way sonetto might have wished to see the outside world just as she studied on the textbooks

"Regna sereno intenso ed infinito.”

a line from the poem Mezzogiorno Alpino written after a short stay in Courmayeur, Giosuè Carducci reflects on the clear Alpine landscape, with the aim of highlighting the power of nature.

the trees stood as if to enjoy the pleasure of the sunlight penetrating their branches, absolute silence dominates, broken only by the rustling of the river water.

this might show how much interest and adoration sonetto shows towards things outside of the foundation

“So long lives this and this gives power to thee.”

a line from the famous poem Sonnet 18 by William Shakespeare, where he used this poem to praise the beauty of his beloved where their beauty is more preferable than a hot summer day. theres a bit of a change in the lines "So long lives this and this gives life to thee." the original line used life instead of power, it wouldn't really make sense if they used life for a buffer it would've been more of a healing skill so i get it

(i actually don't know what link this has towards sonetto soo fun fact sonnet 18 was about a man)

"I know the moon and this is an alien city”

the line is derived from the poem A London Thoroughfare 2 A.M by Amy Lowell the meaning of this poem is the feeling of being lost in a busy city, expressing emotions such as loneliness and being overwhelmed and how the only thing familiar to the writer was the moon. (aight im sorry idk how to word this one again another fun fact Amy Lowell is a sapphic and likes to call her muse or lover Lady of the moon)

“Each moment, now night.”

One of the lines from the poem Night by Max Weber (not the sociologist, also not sure on what to write since i dont actually know what the poem actually means i like to think that its about the silence and darkness of the night to show loneliness)

so basically most of these references loneliness and adoration towards the things the writer wrote about which might link to how sonetto might feel adoration and curiosity for the outside world and how she might've felt lonely in the foundation after being closed off from the outside world

(sorry if some words might not make sense and for how many things i've kept blank i failed literature so feel free to correct me im always up for discussion, its funny the way i found out most poets are queer are because of this)

#re1999 #重返未来1999 #sonetto #reverse 1999 #r1999 #sonetto reverse 1999 #r1999 spoilers

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iamadequate1 · 4 months ago

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DJenks updated his Bsky story again this morning (link to last post). It is more angsty than expected for a Christmas story (but the actual content of the story so far doesn't feel like an episode's worth of material, let alone a giveaway of S3). I made a stupid post about retail and customer service destroying the joy of their lives, and the responses got me thinking. I'm just writing out some rambles on working out what I think so far of this...

I made a post before, long ago, about how the point of the inn wasn't the inn, but Ed and Stede's relationship. The inn going badly isn't the point of the story, just an instigating incident, and "What about the inn?!" isn't a story or even support tension for an entire season. I've never believed that the inn is Ed and Stede's ultimate endgame. It's just a stepping stone (or resting spot, if you prefer) and a place for them to develop a more mature relationship. A few days ago, I put up a long rambly post (long and rambly much like this post and all I do) about what I think is a mass misunderstanding of the tone of OFMD. It's a comedy, yes, and it leans heavily into absurdity, but it comes to real and human and serious elements naturally, though it may feel jarring if you're expecting something else. The inn was not going to be smooth sailing and taking beginning steps in a relationship doesn't mean the story is over, though from tropes from lesser stories, some expect a fade to black happily ever after where Ed and Stede are forever in a honeymoon phase and never have conflicts or growing pains like a real couple would.

Running a business or doing customer service sucks. They were always going to have less freedom (and free time) in their lives by doing that, and they were going to have a lot of stress put on them. I mean, Ed just said they had fun before the customers showed up! Customers ruin everything. On paper (and in a less substantial sitcom world), running an inn sounds nice, something that is fluffy and cozy, something that will look like a nice alternative to a violent and dangerous profession, but the actual reality is still soul destroying. On the Bsky post, I made a comment that I think DJenks (or at least some of his frequent collaborators) has had some traumatic experience with customer service or low level corporate jobs. For example, People of Earth's second season's main antagonist is an evil corporate cube, and in OFMD, Lucius telling off middle manager Izzy without any consequence, using his own abusive tactics against him, feels like wish fulfillment, something that would get an "...and then everyone clapped!" on a Reddit retelling. OFMD is not going to end with customer service consuming the main couple's lives as the happy ending; they need to do something else, or they need an alteration of the plan for a better work-life balance... but only a secondary goal after solidifying their relationship.

With the story so far, we have the friction: guests are demanding, Ed and Stede don't have a division of labor that makes them both feeling happy and appreciated, running a business together -- a business that is likely taking up most of their waking hours -- has them feeling like coworkers instead of a couple, they don't particularly like the work but they want to succeed together, they're both having nostalgic feelings about their pirate times. These are all perfectly reasonable and expected outcomes, and if you as a reader are a bit saddened by it, the characters in story are even less happy about it. I mean, we had a fandom spiral on a throwaway line about an attractive, drunken chambermaid, asking "Who's this Applejack then?!", when it's just another unexpected point of tension that by itself is only worse in our imaginations, likely to mean nothing.

What's a stand out here that's missing, though, something that would make me incredibly worried that this is actually an S3 outline (you know, unless he's updating for months), is the lack of marriage or marriage talk. Enough foreshadowing is there that makes it a near guarantee that included in the S3 plan was/is to have an Ed and Stede wedding. On proposals, there is a leaning belief that Ed and Stede will propose simultaneously. Personally, I still think Ed is going to try proposing too early, possibly as a "fix" to their current situation.

I know this isn't a polished story or one that has been run through the writer's room, but Ed knowing about Chauncey, but we not knowing yet if they've talked about what Chauncey said and talking through why that affected Stede so much, nor do we know if they've talked about Stede's feelings on his marriage and whether he'd want to do it again. They certainly haven't worked through what happened with Ed if he's busting out "unconditional love." Ricky's still around. There is some foreshadowing of them being discovered (maybe Applejack is a drunken spy!!). Lots of untouched material to fill out an S3, especially with finding out what's up with my Revenge favorites (Frenchie as Captain, Lupete, Auntie, lol).

In the end, I'm enjoying his little story, though I hope it doesn't keep going into an actual S3 treatment! The only thing I'm not enjoying is the usual rancid takes from the usual people who never understood the story in the first place.

#musings on a bluesky story written by a sleep deprived man #ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #ofmd meta #copium and trying to work out how i think of this thing so far

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flutt3rb4tz · 1 year ago

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i hate when people who dont have marfans make/headcanon characters with marfans as some quirky trait. i really do, i've seen it a lot in my life as someone who was diagnosed at 3 with the condition and it honestly grinds my gears they always do the most stereotype-y traits, or ignore how much of a struggle it is to live with marfans, or how marfans can fuck up your body further by just how much shit it causes.

to put it into perspective, i got tagged like a fucking animal at school because they didnt want to take too much care into explaining that i needed extra care if something happened, or that people should be gentle with me because i could die on school grounds. ive sat cooped up in my home most of my life, i've only been on a fair ride once because getting on a roller coaster could harm me as well. i need help walking or getting around because my body cant always handle it, i have other problems due to marfans that have hurt me greatly for my entire life.

i'm slowly going blind from marfans and theres nothing a doctor can do that will stick. i risk aortic dissection simply by being hit in the chest, i used to be afraid of going to bed because if anything hit my chest too hard i could literally fucking die then and there, because my heart would fucking collapse on itself and theres a decent chance that i wouldnt make it to the emergency room.

it's not just some trait, it is a disability. and it's not quirky!! it was never fucking quirky!!! getting discriminated against for being disabled by the age of 4 wasnt fun! it wasnt silly! it was traumatizing!!!!

if you're going to make a character or headcanon a character with marfans take into account how much of a stereotype you're making them. there are short people with marfans, fat people with marfans (like myself), poc with marfans, there are people who cannot walk or function because of marfans, people with marfans arent scary or shy or weak all the time. we're human people! we vary!

talk to actual people with marfans. look up posts about the condition from people with the condition. dont confuse marfans with EDS. just have common sense!! its exhausting trying to look at content from people like me and either seeing headcanons, EDS posts, or people telling everyone with marfans that they have no hope (this ones common on reddit, but it applies).

people with marfans dont immediately die either, btw. i saw a post recently that was just "haha this character better have had amazing doctors or his marfans would kill him in 2 seconds!!!" and that's not how it works. of course it can be fatal thats with all things, but dont act like its an immediate death sentence, please. i'm sure a lot of us have heard it enough already

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snooze-mode · 3 months ago

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Getting to know your mutuals

Well, it finally happened. I got tagged in a game. Thanks for the tag, @prince--esque !

What's the origin of your blog's title?

Admittedly it's the product of an in-joke, where I'm called The Eeper by one of the guilds I'm in on another game, because I have a costume set that's themed around being sleepy (Think a night cap, slippers, carrying a teddybear in one hand and a pillow in the other for a shield and weapon respectively). The actual title on my blog is just me being stupid and referring to myself as a bitch and being generally witchy.

Favorite fandoms:

I guess at the moment, Destiny 2. But that is ENTIRELY the lore side. or more specifically the group here on Tumblr. I stay WELL away from Twitter and Reddit, good lord.

OTPs + Ship names:

Gonna expose myself here but fuck it: Pearl & Marina - Pearlina (Splatoon). You can't tell me them cephalopods ain't gay as shit.

Favorite colors:

P I N K.

Favorite game:

Hmmm... I'd have to say Gravity Circuit as of right now. I've 100%ed that thing multiple times over now. Good music, good gameplay, good art. I love it (Hence why I still have some of my fanart for it as my header!)

Weirdest habit/trait:

I have that wombo combo of Autism and OCD. I think an easier question is to ask which of my habits is normal.

Hobbies:

Drawing & Writing mostly. Used to do so much more when I was younger but I got that burnout something fierce.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

Honestly? A showrunner. I have so many stories I want to tell. I know I'm doing a degree in Politics but I'm an art school dropout at heart.

Something you're good at:

Bead weaving. Picked it up on a whim and had a lot of fun with it. Should probably bust out my loom again at some point

Something you're bad at:

Dancing. Good lord am I a terrible dancer, as much as I wish I wasn't.

Something you excel at:

ohhhh fuck this a hard one for someone with self-esteem issues good lord LOL I guess... I guess really like my writing? I don't feel like it's the best but I always scored high on creative writing assignments and some people seem to like some of the stuff I write?

Something you love:

Christmas time. I am not religious, but I love seeing all the lights go up, the food, the markets. It makes the long, wet and dark winters in the UK a little more bearable, I guess?

Something you hate:

People who take what they have (mostly money) for granted. I've always ended up in places wherein I'm mingling with people from higher economic statuses than me and it is... needlessly frustrating to see how frivolous they can be with what money they have, knowing how hard it is on the lower rungs.

Something you collect:

Couple of things I guess. Pretty rocks (I'm not beating the magpie allegations), plushies and pins, and I'm looking to start collecting theatre programs on the rare occasion I get to go see a musical!

Something you forget:

To take time to love myself. I'm far too guilty of running myself into the ground physically and mentally.

What's your love language:

Gift giving!!! I'm such a bitch for it, if I have the money I WILL go extra extravagant with gifts. I love getting people things to show them that I'm thinking of them, whether that be something they've mentioned off-hand or something I know they need.

Favorite movie/show:

Movie-wise? Probably either Into The Spider-Verse or How to Train Your Dragon. TV show? The Owl House.

Favorite food:

Hands down, Pizza. I will go feral for that shit.

Favorite animal:

Peach-faced Lovebirds or Plains Hognose Snakes! I've always wanted one or the other as a pet but unfortunately I live in a pet-free property and my family are staunchly dog-only people :(

Are you musical?:

Used to be. I played Guitar at one point, and used to be a Cellist in a youth orchestra. I also sung in a choir at one point, but my voice is shot from throat surgeries and I don't know if I'll ever be able to recover from them, lol.

Favorite subject in school:

Biology or History!

Least favorite subject:

Maths. Not even a competition. Numbers never made sense for me.

What's your best character trait?

Probably either my empathy or my stubborness, but both are double-edged swords. I'm extremely headstrong and hate quitting or not seeing a goal through to completion. That's why I'm on like my 5th year of undergrad rn, I've had so much shit get in the way. Buuutttt that makes it hard for me to seek help. I'm also a very high-empathy autistic, which is great in interpersonal stuff but I also cry at basically everything, like the time I saw a pigeon with no feet. I have no control, I'm just always in my feelings.

If you could change any detail of your day right now, what would it be?

I wish I was at my flat instead of my family home :')

If you could travel back in time, who would you like to meet?

Not sure, to be honest. Maybe my grandmother? I was named after her and I share my birthday with the anniversary of her death.

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics:

Honestly? Kinda cheating but @/Tigerspite's The Ouroboros Cycle and Two Way Mirror. Mind the ratings on the former! (Nothing explicit, but still rated M!)

If you got this far then, hi, sorry about all that! I'm... a bit too shy to tag anybody, because I'm very new to the fandom space and don't really feel like I'm close enough to any of my moots to tag them bhj,sbdjssd. I'd like to get to know you more, I'm just shy!!!

#ask game #kali.txt #sorry for copping out on the tags #i'm far too shy to do these things dljsnldkd

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basileus · 1 year ago

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SEATTLE KRAKEN PLAYER PRIMER

I promised the beautiful @madroxed a Seattle Kraken current player primer so she can get into a West Coast (best coast) NHL team and then I went mad so it ended up too long for ask box without a read more. So here it is for your enjoyment, babe. 🦑

IMPORTANT THINGS TO KNOW:

1. When Kraken started playing their first season in 2021, there was a lot of discussion about the expansion plan, how many years they would take to become as successful as other expansion teams (cough VGK). That plan… has not fully panned out. So even though they made it to the playoffs last year, they're not super successful this season and likely won't squeeze their way into a wild card spot. This is okay because the Kraken are full of love.

2. This is important enough to say twice: THE KRAKEN PLAYERS ARE FULL OF LOVE. They don't need to be good if they're having fun and being friends! And they are!

3. Kraken has no captain right now, just four As. Democracy, baby! Every game there is tons of talk on reddit about how it's a good thing because it's made the guys closer, or how it's a bad thing because they don't have a leader and they keep losing. IDK, it's just our thing. There will be a C eventually.

4. There's a joke on tiktok that Kraken is a team of beautiful shy horses, treated badly on their last teams and now learning to love again. Keep this in mind when you see them interacting with Coach Hakstol. They all deserve to have their hooves (skates) farrier-ed gently, ribbons braided into their manes and to be tenderly fed sugar cubes. Anyways.

5. Haha, Seattle runs on love and tentacles.

THE OLDIES:

- Jordan Eberle (Jordy, Ebby, Ebs, Ebber) - Ebs was MY MAN for the longest time because I was soooo fond of him and the mid aughts pre-McDavid Oiler rookie crew. Now he's 33 years old, everyone calls him dad, and just had his 1000th game ceremony. It makes me verklempt.

He just signed a 2-yr contract this month, which people agree is mostly because of his role on the team and less because of his points (which are just okay).

He is also a noted Nickleback fan :(

Also, Jordan Eberle... naked... singing.

- Jared McCann (Canner, also Jordan's on-ice wife) - Kraken's lead scorer right now. Has the saddest backstory ever (he's had troubles with his teams since draft) but the Kraken team loves him. I love him too. Jordan was in his wedding party! Fun fact: Canner is the one who KISSED Ebs' head after an OT win this year, the organization framed & posted the picture, and it's the most romantic thing that has ever happened on Kraken ice. Recognized PC gamer boy. He also wears really really ugly hats with his game day suits.

- Philipp Grubauer (Grubi, The German Gentleman) - Gruuuuu. The more experienced goalie on the team. Noted horse girl (loves horses, there's a video all about his volunteer efforts with them). Gets a lot of undeserved shit from dude fans for being a conservative goalie, the man is NOT gonna move. He straight up close lined a player yesterday because they got too close to his crease lol.

- Vince Dunn - You already know this guy. Feral, but also submissive and breedable. I sent you the "screaming with a bloody face" vid but here's one where he drop gloves for a Matty hit and another from Juniors where he fights OFF ICE. His nickname is Dunner but because he's a pretty princess, he also goes by "Vincess" in hrpf. He's very popular this season both for his looks and his performance this season. Unfortunately injured right now due to a bad hit. Noted "gamer (fornite) boy" lol.

- Adam Larsson - You also know this guy. Big Cat. Quiet but a leader to the D rookies. Surprisingly funny - he's a silent prankster and the custom t-shirts this season with his face on it were a hit. Outside the hrpf space, he's engaged to a beautiful blonde Swede and about to be a dad this month.

- Jaden Schwartz (Schwartzy) - Peak millennial. Is it wrong that I think Schwartzy is the hottest Kraken after Vince? Because I don't care. He gives hot dad, with two dogs with girl names.

He changed his hockey number to match his sister's who died of cancer :'( Has been injured a lot this season and we miss him :'(

- Yanni Gourde (Gourdo) - FERAL!! FRENCH (CANADIAN)!!!! A tiktok star, sassy, charming, and also part of the team leadership.

Married and dad to little girls, who he has allowed Matty to babysit, if you can believe it. There was a super cute vid of them at the pumpkin patch this year. I'm a proud member of the GOURDO IS HOT club but even people with bad eyes and no love for goofy faces love Yanni.

- Andre Burakovsky (Burky) - You might remember him from his Cap or Av days. He's a beautiful little bird who is so good at scoring but so broken. The man has two Stanley Cups but he's played like 2 games for Kraken where he was both healthy & productive lol. People ship him with Gru sometimes in hrpf because they have cute nicknames for each other and also vacation together. He also just had a baby like two months ago so my sisters and I call him a teen mom even though he's like 29, lmaoo.

- Pierre-Edouard Bellemare (Belly) - His shirt is always off in every video I have ever seen him in. Handsome. Beard. French, like literally from France, but we won't hold it against him. He's an older guy who was brought in to help the team with offense (which we badly need).

- Oliver Bjorkstrand (Bjorky) - I always describe Bjorky as like a less handsome Dylan O'Brien if he played hockey. A chill, smiley dude who cares a lot. He played in Portland for the Winterhawks back in Juniors and I saw him a lot there! He's playing super well this year, he even was at the ASG!

THE YOUNG ONES:

- Matty Beniers (Matty, Benny) - OUR BEAUTIFUL FIRST DRAFT EVER. A baby boy. Ebs and Canner are his mom and dad. If you're on tiktok, he made that viral "Yes, Yes, Nope, Nope" sound while mic'd up.

He's growing up :') but also is having kind of a bad season :'( Part of the planned growth of the Kraken team though!

- Will Borgen (Borgy) - One of the baby D. He kinda looks like Canner but more frog. Matty and Borgy are roommates & pretty much BEST FRIENDS during the season. There's a lot of good locker room videos of them giving each other shit. He has also bullied Karts lol. Self describes himself as a little deer.

- Joey Daccord (Joey, Dacs) - Baby goalie. Gives the F1 recaps on tiktok. One of the biggest joys of my year so far was chanting "Joey" in the crowd after his shutout in the Winter Classic. Sometimes he strays too far from the net and makes boo boos. We love & cherish him.

- Kailer Yamamoto (Yamo, Yams, Yammer) - Little man. So little. Great at shootouts & stealing teammate's jerseys. He's the only Washingtonian on the team. Was a Oilers rookie and I've heard he featured in the whole Draisital hrpf narrative thing (idk I'm not an Oilers fan rn lol). Has a terrible goatee right now.

There's a funny af tweet about a reporter seeing a huge cheering section for him at a game and assumed it was friends & family but went over and it was just random people rooting for Yamo purely because he's short.

- Ryker Evans - The newest baby D. Has the deadest eyes you will ever see but he also spent an entire Firebirds youtube interview series just hanging out in a child's pool. He's played great since being called up from the Firebirds and we love him. So new he doesn't have a Breaking the Ice sheet yet :( Also his middle name is GARTH!

- Tye Kartye (Karts) - It's important that you know his last name is pronounced like "Cart-che" but even the announcers say "Car-ti-eh" like the jewelry brand. A quiet-ish sweetheart but also kind of spicy while playing. Rooms with Ryker. They're flirty and have been since the Firebirds. Scored his first NHL goal in his first NHL game, during the Kraken's first ever playoffs!

- Cale (& Haydn) Fleury - REAL LIFE BROTHERS. Not actually related to Flower. Haydn is on the Lightning now and we miss him. Cale mostly plays for the Firebirds but he's developing well and has gotten called up several times this season.

- Ryan Winterton (Wints) - A goofy little baby. He's still playing mostly with the Firebirds but he had his NHL debut this season.

- Shane Wright - I don't actually know his nickname. (EDIT: I have been informed it is Shaner or Wrighter!) Big boy. Our SECOND DRAFT EVER. Playing with the minor leagues right now. We'll see him playing a line on Kraken next season or so, probably (?). If Coach Dave is willing.

THE OTHERS (THAT I OFTEN FORGET ABOUT):

- Brandon Tanev - Turbo. He's fast. Has beautiful long hair. Keeps getting hit by pucks because he's in the way. Fun fact: he helped start the 'Kraken are horses' thing because there was a video on Tiktok where an equipment manager was adjusting his skates and they used a hoof care video sound and it went viral. We might lose him when he's a free agent and that's fine.

- Jamie Oleksiak - Big Rig, Riggy. In my shit list right now because he's playing bad and I hate his stupid credit card commercial that they always play during games. Member of the 'my sister is prettier and a better athlete than me' club. People speculate there's a chance we might lose him over the summer when his no-trade clause opens up as well. He's often Borgy's d-partner, and he and Borgy are very very sweet though.

- Tomas Tatar - Tuna, he's fun and nice. I like his accent. Sometimes I forget he exists.

- Eeli Tolvanen - Tolvy. I also sometimes forget about him. Sorry. He's a buddy to everyone on the team though.

- Justin Shultz - Shultzy, he's fine. Gets injured a lot. Not the best player. I think we're gonna lose him eventually too.

- Brian Dumoulin - Dumo, he's also fine. He's won a couple Stanley Cups. Cute baby face for an older player but he gives a kinda empty brain, 'there's not a thought behind those eyes' feeling lol.

HOPE THIS HELPS. I ALSO HOPE THEY DON'T CRUSH THIS PRIMER OVER THE OFF SEASON WITH TRADES LOL but who knows. Whatever happens, happens. Just remember this team runs on love (and tentacles).

#hockey

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clairethecutepup · 9 months ago

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An Apology to the CK64 Community...

I'd like to give the "Corn Kidz" community-- no, I owe you guys a big apology... To piss and moan like that, and do other babyish things like that? Absolutely unacceptable, especially for someone my age.

First of all, I should not be treating stuff as "clutter" to be deleted/hidden because, "Oh, wah, it ain't doing as hot as other stuff." Firstly, what indirect message does that send to others? "Oh, if you aren't posting things that are 'popular' enough, you shouldn't be posting such content at all nor keeping it up as the 'annoying clutter' it is." Wow, that's some indirect rudeness of me, promoting some idea that our community and others have this duty to “gatekeep,” more or less... The more direct rudeness: how's about spitting in the face of the people who actually liked my content by making it inaccessible and discontinued? Oh, and here we were, acting like it's just "needless clutter" to empty from community-based sites...Yeah, behold the reasons why the apology to you all is necessary: promoting a rude/bad message that could poison the minds of beginning artists/creators and so on, and generally giving a middle finger to the people who liked the fan content I made.

Yeah, my hidden CK64 posts are "unprivated" now and other community sites will see "failed" items reposted-- but reposted once a month or so, to avoid just flooding them with content that used to be on there! No one likes old items to be spammed as "new"... I'm talking, Steam, Reddit and so on. As for more "Gallery/Archiving" sites like Deviantart or Archive of Our Own, they're still maintaining the works, as per usual, so no fixing of things there. Well, at least you can give me that I didn't need to throw so big of a tantrum that I completely wiped everything from the face of the earth, even if stuff stayed on those places because: "It's a gallery/archiving site, so it's meant to be preserved and not just be something worth engagement-- plus, jerk move to completely eradicate things like fan art for others off the said face of the earth."

I know I also need to give an explanation for why I decided to revert from employed individual to immature kindergartener, as well as the discontinuation of things for now… I think it’s clear I had/have some underlying issues that are tying themselves to our favorite “corn kidz”: I don’t notice the same issue if things don’t seem to be doing well in the Ed Edd n’ Eddy community (I doubt it’s realizing that one as more active/vast) or other ones, and having a mental breakdown over something not “doing well” isn’t typically a common occurrence for me ‘cause otherwise I’d be constantly freaking out whenever I post anything– fan-related or original. I think it has to do with the fear of never being able to earn my own spot in entertainment history, so to speak: the dream of possibly being the next Walt Disney or Scott Cawthon, with my own work to entertain a vast audience.

I mean, firstly: I don’t think I’ll be able to dedicate myself to a family nor kids, even if just from personal fears of how I could treat my spouse and children– especially if they’re kids I adopted from terrible lives… Don’t even get me started on how it’s financially risky to support kids properly in this day and age. That’s actually one reason Seve and Alexis appeal so much to me: they somehow manage to appeal to whatever maternal side I have, in addition to just being a fun and comforting little duo. So yeah, so much for creating something like that as a life’s purpose…

Secondly, I feel the pressure to achieve something great, and make up for every last disturbing or terrible thing I’ve ever done– and I consider myself to have a lot of such moments to atone for and need to actually benefit people. Therefore, panic and mental breakdown when it seems like all that realistically would take less time and effort– not as in it being “terrible” nor “unenjoyable,” but it realistically taking less of a process and all to make –performs better than something that took a few days or so for me to make. Seriously, I promise I am not saying things need to take a long time or something to be good/enjoyable, I strictly am talking about my personal matter of “Time vs Results” here.

Thirdly, I made the mistake of being too quick to push away negative emotions, like disappointment or fears of failure. I mean, Ukrainians died and had to flee their country because of the ongoing war, Russian people who had nothing to do with their government’s decision were basically short of being lynched when not simply ostracized/hated… I’m sorry, you’re upset because you didn’t get as many “likes” or “faves” as you hoped, Me? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and act more like the stoic man you wish you were (or portray the “manliness” you want to obtain as a girl). Now I know why I was told to “let yourself feel– no matter how ‘privileged’ or otherwise it may seem,” ‘cause otherwise you end up bottling it all up into an eventual mental breakdown like you’re working as a self-checkout host during a pandemic all over again. Another reason to try and achieve the dream: to make surviving that with a learned fear and all of customer-based violence/etc. seem more worthwhile. Don’t worry, I’m safely in the factory business now.

Fourth and fifth: the concerns that fan content doing poorly means no hope for purely original content, and the need to redeem myself as a creative type and prove I can make good content that’s worth people’s attention. Let’s just say, we didn’t need TikTok to have people insulting the work of beginners and all back then: like giving thumbs-up to comments like, “Tell me why anyone would like this…” or “favorite” your things as the account “IFaveBadArt.” So, just know I’m not being a hypocrite who doesn’t understand other artists’/etc’s pain, whenever I say: “It’s on you if you entirely give up art/creating because people are mean about your work.” I don’t say it to “victim blame” nor be a general jerk, I speak from experience.

With that, I conclude my apology for immature and unfair actions earlier to this community, especially those who my work meant something to. I think it’s best to take a step back for now and withhold from further CK64 content, but I will be posting one final additional fan art piece for Billie and Seve’s Adventures because I still need to exude that unease about Alexis; as that one piece with her and Claire wasn’t enough…

Tschüß.

#off my chest #apologies #corn kidz 64 #personal updates #confessions #apologizing #personal issues

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tgc-critical · 7 months ago

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[Reddit] I should've never come back

Post below for those who don't want to go onto Reddit:

Just a little rant so don't read if you don't want the negativity.

As someone who played in 2020 coming back to this game now, I really regret it. After playing for a month, some of the new areas feel empty and not fleshed out (nine colored deer and little prince). There's too many events and too many of them are half a**ed. Valley tournament was a joke, days of sunlight/moonlight looked nice, but there really wasn't much to do in them. It's so obvious that every new event is just a way for them to sell us new things. I would much rather have well thought out events with bigger breaks in between each one, rather than multiple stacked on top of each other.

The biggest gripe is that TGC seems to have changed. It feels like they don't care about their player base at all. All they're focused on now is making as much money as possible. The game is supposed to be about friendship, supporting one another, and creating some sort of meaning. But it just feels so fake to me, knowing that this is the way the company acts. It honestly ruins the whole experience. I loved this game when it came out. I loved playing it, knowing that the people who made the game really cared about it and stood for what the game was about. There was actual meaning behind it. But now it's nothing but a way for TGC to prey on players through FOMO and subtle manipulation.

I just watched Nastymold's video on the Moomin beta stuff, and not a single outfit will be completed without having to spend some sort of money on it. And so far another video has said that days of mischief will have 11 IAPs...like that's insane for a game like this. Yea the prices could change, but let's be honest, it really aint gonna change that much. And I always see people say, "you don't have to have every cosmetic", but the thing is, I want to have every cosmetic??? I don't need it, but I want it?? That's the whole point of this game for a lot of us, and TGC knows it. We want the pretty clothes so we can run around and look nice and have fun. If I didn't want any of the cosmetics, I wouldn't play this game. Like, if everyone had the default moth skin, would many people play this game? I don't think so.

People say to just pick one or two things from every update that you like. But what if you like a lot of them??? Isn't it natural to be a bit frustrated that you have to shell out like 20$ for each thing? I'm so conflicted now since I really do love this game for the core of what it is. I also love the cosmetics, but knowing that I don't have the self control to stop myself from buying like 5 things each time, I feel like I have no choice except to leave. Good for you if you do have the self control, but I know a lot of us don't, and that's what TGC is banking on (literally).

I don't want to stop playing, but I don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on a game with a company this greedy. And the funny thing is, if they priced things cheaper, adjusted the prices to local currencies, and actually cared about their players, I'd be more than happy to support them. I work a full time job, I have cash to spare, but the way TGC acts disgusts me and I cannot justify giving them anymore money.

It sucks that I have to force myself to quit, because I know if I stay, I'll just spend more money on this game and end up feeling guilty about it in the long run. Enjoy the game if you can. I hope TGC changes for the better.

#tgc critical #tgc crit

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saintmeghanmarkle · 2 years ago

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Nick Ede a "brand and culture expert" and friend of the duchess dating from the period before she met Harry unpicks what brand separation means in practice. by u/Hermes_Blanket

Nick Ede, a "brand and culture expert", and friend of the duchess dating from the period before she met Harry, unpicks what ‘brand separation’ means in practice. Another DM piece. They're really rolling out the boat today. This one should really have been titled "Do They Think People Are Stupid?"Please. There are thousands of copies of "Spare" floating around. The Oprah interview will never vanish from the internet. Now they're going to make MM seem "fun and funny" and "step out into who she is, which is not a victim". How are they going to do that and still be all genuine and organic? Is there some kind of memory-erasing gas they can release into the environment?LOL, Meghan "needs to forget about being a duchess". That's going to happen, sure it is!Here's Ede on the plan:https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12497603/Sussexes-separating-brands-ALISON-BOSHOFF.html‘I’ve spoken to mutual friends and it’s not true they are divorcing,’ says Ede. ‘What is actually happening is they are trying now to undo the damage they did with the Harry & Meghan documentary and Spare, which made them into a toxic couple.‘The first way to do that is to allow Meghan to get away from the victim narrative and away from Harry so people can see who she is.‘Meghan needs to forget about being a duchess and forget about good works. She has been isolated in Montecito and hiding away. But she is fun and funny, which is why we became friends. There wasn’t anything fun in [the documentary] or in the [Spotify] podcasts.‘She will use Instagram to connect directly with fans around the world and to step out into who she is, which is not at all a victim.‘She is 100 per cent a celebrity and will concentrate on that while Harry does whatever moves him.‘If they are wise, they will copy the Beckhams, where each half of the couple has their own “thing” and they do only a small amount together. She could easily earn a million dollars. There is a lot of money which she will make very easily — as long as she does it away from him.’ post link: https://ift.tt/8J32L9b author: Hermes_Blanket submitted: September 08, 2023 at 11:55PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

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irrelevant-iguanadon · 1 year ago

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Sup new pinned post hi I'm cordy 👋

I have an art account it's iguanadonart or smth like that u should go follow it fr

Shoot me an ask if u want btw, I like to think I'm pretty chill.

The rest of my online presence

Redbubble: Irrelevant7

Art Account: iguanadonart

Reddit: irrelevant-iguanadon

Twt/X: IrrelevantIguan

Insta: irrelevant.iguanadon

Discord: dm me if u want it

Linktree: irrelevant.iguanadon

**linktree includes the above plus psn, steam, letterboxd, and stash (letterboxd but for games)

ALSO!! This is the link to the Operation Olive Branch spreadsheet if you want to donate :)) 🇵🇸

Anyways um fun facts about me:

Nonbinary/queer/demisexual yeah we love gay ppl

ADHD as fuck (I have the silly)

I'm in college!! So I'm a bit busy sometimes but it's okay!! Anyways I'm a film major (w/ a minor in gender studies) if you were curious

Speaking of I'm generally really really passionate about women's rights/queer rights/sex ed/aspec ed/trans rights so if you ever wanna get me ranting like hell send me an ask asking about something specific regarding those. Just don't be purposefully trying to get me pissed off at you about it plz.

I have some silly hobbies which include art (mostly just pencil/pen doodles and some digital stuff though), plushie making (that one is recent), and video games!! I love video games!!!

I also like fun clothes and outfits but only when it's niceish out, when it's cold I default to sweatpants and a hoodie 💀

Anyways going back to the art stuff I have a redbubble!!! Go buy some stickers or smth if you want!!

Moving On

Fandoms (this is gonna go in depth with each so they are titles for yee so just scroll past the ones u don't care about)

Soulsborne 🗡

I've beaten all of them except for Sekiro and DS2's DLCs (and the DeS remake but I've played the original)

Bloodborne is my favorite (and also favorite game of all time)

Fav characters consist of Lady Maria, Adeline, Simon, The Hunter, Lucatiel, Aldia, Hyetta, Blaidd, Marika, and Rennala

Speaking of, fav ships are (f or nb) hunter x maria, maria x adeline, lucatiel x (f or nb) Bearer of The Curse, and Marika x rennala

Fav bosses: either laurence or orphan of kos, penetrator, manus, smelter demon, sister frieda, and dragon lord

FNaF 🐻

I've been here since before fnaf world, I'm a veteran 💀

Favorite game is 4 but HW1 is better game play wise imo

Big fan of any nightmares, fredbear, springbonnie, rxq, ennard, funtime foxy, and roxy

As for like human characters, I love both movie and game mike, movie Vanessa, Cassie, and game Vanessa's potential

I like a lot of the big fangames a lot too, my favorites being the DSaF series, FNaC 3, and Super Fnaf.

I think the books suck ass (unless they're the logbook or cookbook <3), and the mimic is fucking stupid and should've just been a digital only thing, w/o a physical robot

I'm just salty about security breach in general

Game Theory/Team Theorist

This is Matpat hate free zone!!!

I've been watching his videos since 2015, this man practically raised me

My favorite channels atm are GTLive and Style Theory lol

I actually like his fnaf theories, not necessarily bc I think they're right but bc they're fun and he presents them in an entertaing way lol

Biggest Ash and Amy fan everytime they're in an episode of smth it's slay. Head editor Dan is super cool too.

Best GTLive series/vids are the murder of sonic the hedgehog, JRs, FNaC 3, Bad End Theater, the FNaF lore off, and Trombone Champ

Pokemon ⚡️

First game was white 2 back in like 2014 I think, my first starter was tepig

Favs of each category are emboar for a starter, white kyurem for legend, genesect for mythical, idrc about the ultra beasts, slither wing for paradox, mega lucario, and volcarona overall

Fav human characters are rika, prof sada/ai sada (same for turo), volo, nessa, Lillie and lusamine, ghetsis, N, all of the gen 5 gym leaders tbh

I also like pmd2 a lot!! It's one of my fav games ever actually

Pokemon Rejuvenation ✨️

I haven't played the most recent chapter 💀💀

I love all the characters a ton honestly but I'm the biggest risa raider fan

Sonic 🦔

This is a recent one and my current hyperfixation lol

Favs are Rouge, Blaze, Amy, Shadow, and Espio

Fav ship is blazamy <3 but my fav platonic relationship is rouge and shadow

I'm currently working a couple AUs so maybe those will be a thing on here evntually

No joke got into sonic bc me and my roommate watched the gt live tmosth playthrough together and we both got hyperfixated

Currently working my way through the games!! I just started though so I'm only on sonic adventure 1 and I haven't started the 2d list at all

Also trying to watch the shows but I've only seen the first few mins of X, and a couple Boom eps. I've finished s2 of Prime though!! Excited for 3!!

Also want to eventually read the idw comics but haven't gotten a chance yet.

All sonic girls are Sapphic btw <3

Hatchetfield 🎶

I've watched a few other starkid shows but these are the only ones I've latched on to

I've seen all the content up to this point save hey melissa

alice, bill, grace, steph, lex, hannah, becky, linda, and mrs holloway are my favs

My fav lib is tinky <3

Fav musical is npmd but fav nmt is killer track

Fav starkids are mariah, angela, jon, corey, and curt but all of them are slays fr

Heathers 🍵

I've been here since like late late 2019

Never seen the show but I have seen the off broadway slime tutorial a decent amount and I own a DVD of the movie

I love!!!!! Veronica Sawyer!!!!!

Chansaw if my fav ship by far I love them but McDuke is also slay and there's definitely reason to ship Veronica with almost any other student in that movie save Kurt and Ram lol

Big fan of the AUs where JD and Veronica are platonic besties ngl

Not a huge fan of the West End version though

I didn't know what emoji to out here bro

Sea of Stars 💫

Played it for the first time in December of 2023 and fell in love omg

Seraï is my fav love her <3

Every woman in that game loves women fr

I have lots of thoughts about the bosses I'll post about them someday

God this took me 2 hours I'm gonna go to bed now 💀

#it was time for a new one

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zolusbian · 1 year ago

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soooooo twt is a lawless land and it is INCREDIBLY easy to stumble onto ed content, which i cant engage with bc it WILL trigger me (i used to use ed reddit back when i was in my worse state). anyway the absolute cruelty of edtwt is astounding me. they steal tiktoks and pics of women just living their lives to make fun of them (often sarcastically). it’s not even like “heres recipes/tricks” which is what i was familiar with its just bullying. and its very sad and i hope these girls grow out of it and get help, but its still not an excuse to mock REAL PEOPLE for daring to have bodies different than yours. i tried cleansing my palate buy looking up fat and body positivity but edtwt has also taken over those tags to spread hate. sad situation. hopefully the algorithm does not continue to show me theae things im just on twt for fanart!!!

#text post

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cjrae · 1 year ago

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Series: Reaction to a Reaction. Episode 23, "Balsam and Woodsorrel."

@i-guess-im-into-this-now, wasn't this a f***ed up episode?

1.) "So the box that Maomao requested was a game. The English dub just calls it Chess, but I think it's called Shogi or the Chinese equivalent. Please correct me if I'm wrong."

You're not wrong. Shogi is actually the Japanese form of this game. Chinese "chess" is called Xianqi, although there's been so much drift between East Asia, it's honestly close enough. Hence the English translation of chess.

I looked it up for this episode, because I was curious which piece Lakan sees Jinshi as. Jinshi is the Advisor/General, which is somewhat equivalent to the queen in western chess. It has the greatest flexibility on the board, but it's sole job is to protect the king. Someone on Reddit who knows Shogi way better than I did has an analysis if that interests you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/KusuriyaNoHitorigoto/comments/1bgp26q/explaining_some_details_in_ep_23and_appreciation/

2.) "Lakan learns that Maomao is still under contract to work for Jinshi, and he makes a rude implication that has Jinshi grinding his molars.

And I think this is kind of weird. Just what does Lakan think or feel about his daughter?"

The way I interpreted this bit was that, if Maomao is under contract, then there are always ways to break a contract - and Lakan has the power and connections to pursue that kind of early contract termination should he win. Considering how Jinshi has been using that contract to keep Maomao away from Lakan, it's essentially a weakness in Jinshi's defenses that Lakan is letting him know that he sees and is prepared to take advantage of to secure what he wants.

As for what Lakan thinks and feels about his daughter, you'll get a bit more of that in the finale.

3.) "So did Lakan know it was alcohol when he decided to drink it or did he think it tasted bad because of the medicine Maomao added? Either way, he agreed to the terms of the game and he has now lost the bet. Maomao never had to beat him at chess, she only had to risk drinking poison with a straight face which is an everyday activity for Maomao. Lakan lost the moment he agreed to play by Maomao's rules."

We know from Jinshi's reaction that the smell of the alcohol is quite strong, so my guess is that Lakan recognizes what the bet actually is long before Jinshi and Gaoshun do, simply because they're missing the context that Lakan is a lightweight. We do see that pause as Maomao is explaining her first term, indicating that Lakan is taking in all of the information.

Also, in an episode that's all about Maomao's parents' backstory, this moment does a brilliant job in showing the audience just how much she's inherited from both of her birth parents. She knows she can't beat him at chess, so she uses the game to lure Lakan into a trap that he can't escape, because she herself is the bait. And, like Fengxian, she's willing to make risky bets when she feels she needs to.

4.) "I do understand that Lakan's inability to recognize faces affects his ability to connect with other people, but wow, that's a whole lot different than viewing them as pawns you can manipulate for fun. I'm sure he was a brilliant strategist for the military, but the fact that he delighted in it, demonstrates his lack of humanity."

A lot of the discourse I see surrounding Lakan revolves around his disability and discussions of autism and neurodivergence. I think it's interesting that you recognize just how chilling and dangerous this makes Lakan in a sequence that is designed to humanize him.

And I think it does, to an extent. Lakan is doing his best with the hand he's been dealt. Better than he learn to assign chess pieces and go stones to people so that he can function instead of bumbling around, completely blind to the world around him. But, as you note, in his particular case, it means that if you do not personally interest him, he just doesn't care. Talk about a truly neutral character - and a sad one, because just as he places the human chess pieces where they need to go, it means that he himself can also be played by someone more ruthless than him.

5.) "...I do think is likely, however, Maomao's view of motherhood is perhaps not too different than Fengxian's. That a woman can never be a mother in the Pleasure District may be a common belief, but it isn't universal, because we saw the princesses, Pairin in particular, step up to fill the mother's role for Maomao."

There's one more person who stepped up to take on that role, and the anime downplays it a bit - the madam. I'll actually go into a little more detail as I get further through your reaction, because this is something the anime cut a bit for time, but it's significant I think in why the madam has been keen to bring Maomao under the wing of the Verdigris House.

6.) "Do these two care about each other at all or is it just that they don't express it? I have my doubts."

Whatever else, this scene is designed to imply that Maomao was conceived in love, despite the tragedy that followed. If nothing else, Maomao is not a product of rape or coercion of any kind.

7.) "Wow. Okay. So Luomen is Lakan's uncle. I didn't see that coming. So there are blood ties between Maomao and Luomen."

You can see how some of the ties between Maomao and Jinshi have been set up from the very beginning - Luomen is dismissed from his post because of the loss of Ah-Duo's child, because his time and attention was monopolized by the Empress Dowager's child. This directly leads to Lakan's banishment by his father and Fengxian's situation - and later, Luomen arrives, not just in the pleasure district, but to Verdigris House. Maomao always laments Luomen's bad luck, but I wonder if he feels the same way. He lost his position and reputation, sure, but he gained a daughter. Maomao makes it clear that Luomen OUGHT to have a healthy income with his profession, but instead he stays close to the pleasure district to help the courtesans, including Fengxian who he's clearly been treating since the syphilis reoccurred.

8.) "What the fuck did Fengxian do? I suppose that this explains the nightmare Maomao had when she saw her mother with a knife. Does this have something to do with Maomao's twisted little finger? Did her finger get chopped off and reattached?"

It's called yubikiri and it's a traditional curse. Of two people who make a promise, if one breaks it, the other one cuts off their pinky finger, indicating Fengxian's rage that Lakan never came for her. Worse, she sent him Maomao's pinky too - we see the desiccated stumps fall into Lakan's hand when he opens the pouch when he finally arrives home and checks his mail.

I'm sure there are others out there who would bring up postpartum depression and anxiety developing into full blown psychosis, which given the medical mysteries the show leans into, seems like a fair analysis. But it seals Fengxian's fate - she can never be a mother to Maomao - because in order for her and the baby to eat, she has to support them both; and this time, not as a high end courtesan who doesn't take men to her bed, but with night work because what she did didn't just affect her, it dragged the reputation of the Verdigris House down as well.

9.) "We get to see granny beating Lakan with a broom. She accuses him of not caring about a worthless courtesan and tells him that she's gone...l get that things fell apart while he was gone, but Fengxian is still alive at this point."

So, here's where the adaptation made a different choice and I think it's to the detriment of the scene. Originally the madam tells Lakan that Fengxian is dead, not gone. That scene in the rain is supposed to be Lakan realizing that both the woman he loved and the child they made are dead and it doesn't matter how sorry he is, because of his carelessness, they're both gone.

While it's never outright stated, it's heavily implied that with the madam's intense rage at Lakan combined with Fengxian having been born in the brothel, that the madam is Maomao's maternal grandmother.

Essentially, this is the family business - and the madam wants to ensure that her granddaughter has a trade to fall back on, especially if she thinks she can make Maomao into a high class courtesan who doesn't need to take on night work. This was probably the original path Fengxian was on - and she was on the precipice of being bought out and becoming someone's wife (which, could have potentially sucked, but it would have been respectable and secure), when she blew everything up by taking a risk to try to be with the man she wanted.

10.) "My opinion on Lakan still stands, even if Lakan loves Fengxian, and Maomao, and has been doing all he can to get back to them, he's still a shitty guy that seems to lack basic empathy. Like, he will only treat someone as a person if he is personally invested? I can't like a person like that."

You and Maomao both. Look at Luomen, the man Maomao actually claims as her father. You may not be a fan of his teaching methods, but she is absolutely secure in her attachment to him. He is shown to be a man who will give to others to the detriment of himself out of kindness, because to Luomen all people are worth care from the lowest streetwalker to the Empress herself.

Yeah. I agree with your hot take. LN 11's English translation is actually coming out this month for those of us using Kindle rather than a subscription to J-Novel club, but there's a snippet of Jinshi's perspective of Lakan's character that I think perfectly exemplifies what you're thinking. If you decide you don't mind some much later material out of context, message me and I'll send you the text.

11.) "The rose Maomao left for Lakan is dried. From an earlier time perhaps. Maybe blue roses were a tradition at Verdigris House or something that Fengxian knew the secret to. Perhaps the the blue rose simply represents Fengxian, and Maomao gifts it to Lakan to represent the meaning behind her bet, I'm giving Fengxian to you. There is a secondary meaning here that I don't know the meaning of. But Lakan does."

One of the other comments on the previous episode mentioned that specifically in anime, blue roses represent the unobtainable, because they're not found in nature.

But the biggest clue to this scene is when Meimei tells Lakan "even a withered rose retains it's shape."

I need to bang out my Lakan analysis, but in short, Lakan's crime isn't malice in Maomao's eyes, it's carelessness.

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E23 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

If you want to start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/location cheat sheet

Fengxian: Maomao's courtesan mother

The show opens on Maomao's mother, who is in the late stages of her illness, delusional, softly singing a lullaby while moving around some Go pieces. Is she thinking of the past? The lover that she lost, or the baby that she had?

So the box that Maomao requested was a game. The English dub just calls it Chess, but I think it's called Shogi or the Chinese equivalent. Please correct me if I'm wrong. She challenges Lakan to a competition, who is giddy with delight. They will play best out of 5, no handicaps, and they call their prize before they begin.

Lakan: If I manage to best you. I want you to come and live with me.

Jinshi does NOT like that. Gaoshun reminds him that he promised not to interfere, but Lakan can't take his girl! Don't worry yet Jinshi, Maomao wouldn't be so bold if she didn't think she could win this bet. Have faith!

Lakan learns that Maomao is still under contract to work for Jinshi, and he makes a rude implication that has Jinshi grinding his molars.

And I think this is kind of weird. Just what does Lakan think or feel about his daughter? I don't know if he truly believes that there is something amorous going on between Maomao and Jinshi, but he's totally fine with implying that there is. They are talking about her contract here, and the implication that is being made is that Jinshi bought out Maomao's courtesan contract so that he could bring her to his house to service him solely. We the viewer know it's not true, and Lakan may have been able to pick up enough clues to realize it's not true, but still his joke is a weird one for a father to make. Is it just to get under Jinshi's skin? Or is it possible that he believes his daughter is truly acting as a courtesan? We know that Lakan has had dealings with courtesans in the past, and I'm glad he doesn't seem to have any prejudice against them and the work they do. Yet. I kind of thought maybe his whole reason for wanting to get Maomao to come live with him, was that he was trying to protect her from that work. Am I missing something here? Because it seems that's not the case. So if he doesn't want Maomao for her own sake, then he wants her for his own purposes. Which are??? Use her as another piece to maneuver? That doesn't seem quite right either, since she is the only one he doesn't see as a game piece. I don't know what this indecipherable man wants.

Maomao on the other hand wants Lakan to buy out an aging courtesan from the Verdigris House. Her delirious mother I assume. If that's her goal... is it really a good idea to put Maomao's mother into Lakan's care? Is he going to take care of her? It seems like if he intended to take care of her, he would have already stepped forward to do so. I know Maomao doesn't care about her mother, but she does take care of her when she visits the Verdigris House. Surely she wouldn't entrust any person to Lakan if she thought he would be a neglectful caregiver. I guess I just have to trust that Maomao knows these people better than I do, because this to me seems like a bad idea all the way around.

Maomao also adds a drinking element to the game, that includes poison. Also, if someone quits for any reason, they lose.

Lakan and Maomao are relaxed as they play, but Jinshi is worried. He doesn't like the terms or the rules of this game. Maomao loses the first round and is forced to drink, and Jinshi is the one sweating it. When she loses the second match, Jinshi starts to panic.

Lakan doesn't want to risk that Maomao might be poisoned by drinking a third cup, so he throws a game to drink one. If he drinks one that contains poison than he will know that Maomao is safe to lose her third game.

The cup that Lakan drinks from is poisoned, and he is not tolerating it well. Actually, the alcohol is far worse for Lakan than any medicine that Maomao may have added. Lakan famously abstains, and has no tolerance for alcohol. It's why he carries fruit juice with him everywhere.

So did Lakan know it was alcohol when he decided to drink it or did he think it tasted bad because of the medicine Maomao added? Either way, he agreed to the terms of the game and he has now lost the bet. Maomao never had to beat him at chess, she only had to risk drinking poison with a straight face which is an everyday activity for Maomao. Lakan lost the moment he agreed to play by Maomao's rules.

The show takes us back to see a young Lakan. He has hardcore face blindness, which makes for some very disturbing animation. Since he couldn't connect with people he devoted his time to playing Go and Chess. His uncle encourages him to identify people as chess pieces. His family name gets him a military position and Lakan tells us the following.

Lakan: Of all the games I've played. Chess with human pieces was the most fun I've ever had.

Chilling.

Lakan's inability to view people's humanity is frightening. Dangerous. A person without empathy. It's no wonder Maomao wants nothing to do with this man.

I do understand that Lakan's inability to recognize faces affects his ability to connect with other people, but wow, that's a whole lot different than viewing them as pawns you can manipulate for fun. I'm sure he was a brilliant strategist for the military, but the fact that he delighted in it, demonstrates his lack of humanity.

We learn that a courtesan named Fengxian from Verdigris House easily trounced Lakan in a game of Go. Finally he can see a human face. For years they played Go or Chess, slowly getting to know one another while they play.

Fengxian: A woman did give birth to me, but I have no mother. Because in the Pleasure District, a woman can never be a mother.

A pretty clear description of Fengxian's views on motherhood. If she maintained this view when she had her own daughter, then we can understand just what Maomao might have been dealing with. Also, didn't Maomao say something similar when she described Fengxian as the woman who birthed her?

Maomao: Maybe it's love. But if that's the case. It's not a rabbit hole I want to delve into. That's an emotion I'm sure I left behind. Back in the womb of the woman who birthed me. (Episode 18)

At the time I wrote that comment off to be because Maomao had experienced neglect, abuse or abandonment from her mother, which I do think is likely, however, Maomao's view of motherhood is perhaps not too different than Fengxian's. That a woman can never be a mother in the Pleasure District may be a common belief, but it isn't universal, because we saw the princesses, Pairin in particular, step up to fill the mother's role for Maomao.

Maomao has trash parents, but lovely found family.

Lakan tells us that Fengxian's price increased as she became more in demand. From then Lakan could rarely afford to meet with Fengxian.

Upon one visit Lakan learns that someone has bought out Fengxian's contract. She seems disappointed that she won't be able to meet with Lakan again. She makes a bet with him, with the highest stakes possible. Whoever wins, can take whatever they want from the other.

Lakan: Quite suddenly, a terrible thought crossed my mind.

He's thinking about that notorious way to lower the value of a courtesan isn't he? Just what is it that Fengxian wants from Lakan, I wonder? She has to know that he can't afford her contract. Could it be that she also wants to lower her value to avoid being bought out by someone else?

Lakan chooses to play Go, which we remember from an earlier episode that he could never defeat her in. Did he do this to give her the chance to ask something of him? To prevent himself from following through on that terrible thought that crossed his mind?

He does recognize that it's not right to impregnant a woman to lower her value. Is this because he has real feelings for Fengxian or that he simply acknowledges that it's manipulative? Does he think it's terrible because he would have to take responsibility for a child that is born this way? Or is it just terrible because time in bed would be a waste when they could be playing board games?

They never make it to the end of the game. Instead they sleep with each other and Fengxian tells Lakan that she wants to keep playing Go. She, like Lakan, likely has trouble connecting with other people. That they are well matched in intellect is like seeing another human for the first time. Everyone else is beneath them, not even human.

I'm convinced now that this was a tactical move from both of them. After all, Fengxian dismissed Meimei before they even started playing. Win or lose she was counting on sleeping with Lakan.

Lakan: There were no sweet words offered from Fengxian, nor from me for that matter. So in a way you could say we had similar natures.

Do these two care about each other at all or is it just that they don't express it? I have my doubts.

As Lakan is drifting off to sleep Fengxian sings a song, which I can only assume is the same one she tried to hum the day Maomao was in the annex to care for her. It is the same song from earlier in this episode where we see her in the present day playing with Go pieces on her bed. So her present day delusions are all about returning to this time which was the best period of her life. Before she had a baby, Before she cause syphilis, and everything fell apart.

But what is with singing the song in the past? I dipped into the Japanese with English sub to check the faithfulness of the translation:

Sleep, my baby, sleep. Where is she? She cries. Little birds are so innocent. Off they fly to somewhere far.

I'm not the best at interpreting poetry, so maybe someone else can help me with these lyrics. On it's surface it seems like a typical lullaby, but it could be taken as being about a loss of innocence since the innocent little birds fly away. Or perhaps since the birds leave, it could be about a desire for freedom? Both meanings could apply to Fengxian in this moment.

Wow. Okay. So Luomen is Lakan's uncle. I didn't see that coming. So there are blood ties between Maomao and Luomen.

In a fit of embarrassment and anger at Luomen's exile, Lakan's father also sends Lakan abroad. Fengxian's contract fell through and she made sure to alert Lakan, but it's not something he can deal with before his trip. It seems he intended to return to her, but it took three years before he could finally come back. He is greeted by a pile of letters. And a desiccated severed finger. A way to curse someone apparently. And there are two fingers there, a tiny one as well. What the fuck did Fengxian do? I suppose that this explains the nightmare Maomao had when she saw her mother with a knife. Does this have something to do with Maomao's twisted little finger? Did her finger get chopped off and reattached?

Fengxian took a chance when she decided to sleep with Lakan, and it destroyed her life. She ended up pregnant, which may have been okay, if Lakan had been there to buy her out when her value crashed. She was counting on him, and he wasn't there. It wasn't his fault, I think he would have bought her out if he was there, but the timing of everything was catastrophic for Fengxian. I suppose she didn't know he was out of the country, and her hatred grew, hence the finger severing curse. With that level of hatred I suppose it means she must have cared about Lakan, or perhaps she's just pissed that her plan fell through.

Lakan feels like a dumbass, which for a narcissist like him, is really saying something. He was so focused on playing Go and Chess that he didn't try to think of other ways to solve Fengxian and his problems, like impregnating her. Huh? Okay, I had that pegged wrong earlier. So then he must have thought his one night together with Fengxian was something special.

We get to see granny beating Lakan with a broom. She accuses him of not caring about a worthless courtesan and tells him that she's gone. She lost all of her value after being pregnant, and her actions hurt the reputation of the brothel. She had to take clients like a streetwalker where she contracted syphilis.

Lakan is too late to get what he wants from Fengxian. His fantasy with the high class courtesan ended when she lost her value and reputation. Now she is in a dire state, disgraced, diseased. So Lakan is distressed, but... fuck this guy.

l get that things fell apart while he was gone, but Fengxian is still alive at this point. She has a disease, but presumably she won't lose her mental capabilities until later down the line. He could still play Go with her. And even if she had lost her mind, fuck this guy! Does he really not care at all about her because of the things that have happened to her? He has zero capacity for actual love, like a psychopath. Many people become caregivers to the people they love when they become incapacitated. Only the shittiest walk away. Fengxian lost her reputation, her value, and her health, and Lakan is upset that she no longer fits into the perfect vision he had of her. Like seriously. FUCK. THIS. GUY!

I realize this is a HOT TAKE. And I stand ready to be corrected. But based on all I have seen thus far, Lakan is still a pretty shitty dude. I saw someone mention in a comment on one of these blogs about Lakan stans. At the time I thought to myself how the hell are there Lakan stans? It made me think that there was probably more to his story than I had seen up to that point. Well here is more, but it wasn't enough to make me like this character.

I could probably be convinced that he had real feelings for Fengxian, but then where the hell has he been all these years? Is it that Fengxian hated him and didn't want to see him? That she sent him severed fingers in an attempt to curse him would support that.

My opinion on Lakan still stands, even if Lakan loves Fengxian, and Maomao, and has been doing all he can to get back to them, he's still a shitty guy that seems to lack basic empathy. Like, he will only treat someone as a person if he is personally invested? I can't like a person like that.

Back to the present time, Lakan wakes up in Verdigris House and Meimei kindly tends to him. Apparently after he forfeited his game with Maomao by blacking out drunk, he was deposited here to fulfill his end of the bargain.

Is the fact that Fengxian's illness has progressed to delusions now allowed her to forget about her hatred of Lakan? She was seen tying to play Go and singing an old lullaby in the beginning; is she thinking fondly of old times? Does Maomao think now that Fengxian is more out of her mind, she would be willing to see Lakan? Regardless, she's about to end up with him now.

Maomao concocted a bitter beverage for Lakan and gifts him a dried blue rose. Maomao's message: leave the people I care about alone.

After all, Lakan requested blue roses from Jinshi, a nearly impossible thing for him to procure. Maomao made it happen because she didn't want to let Lakan get away with trying to manipulate Jinshi. The roses were all a ploy to draw Maomao out, which it did, but only for her to defend Jinshi and send a message to Lakan to back off.

The rose Maomao left for Lakan is dried. From an earlier time perhaps. Maybe blue roses were a tradition at Verdigris House or something that Fengxian knew the secret to. Perhaps the the blue rose simply represents Fengxian, and Maomao gifts it to Lakan to represent the meaning behind her bet, I'm giving Fengxian to you. There is a secondary meaning here that I don't know the meaning of. But Lakan does.

Cut to Maomao riding in a carriage with the always cheery Basan, where she pulls out a blue rose bud. Is this the bud she helped grow and create for the Garden Party or a dried one from the past? Is she thinking about whatever connection the blue rose has to her mother or is she thinking about what she did to grow these roses for Jinshi? Is she hoping that her message to Lakan will be enough to protect Jinshi and anyone else he may target? Enough to get Lakan out of her life?

I truly hope that this is the last episode with Lakan's POV. I hope to never see these faceless animations ever again.

If you want to read these from the beginning:

Episode 1

Next episode:

Coming Soon!

#apothecary diaries #the apothecary diaries #kusuriya anime #kusuriya no hitorigoto #jinshi #maomao #lakan #fengxian #jinmao #jinshi and maomao #jinshi x maomao #knh

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ichoreyed · 5 years ago

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Envy and Raven is the e-person e-girl couple the internet isn’t ready for

#what the fuck is the gender neutral version of eboy and egirl #eperson sounds. weird #ethot maybe #anyways #zirable #ringofazar #demonsired #OOC #ed makes fun of them on reddit #(dash commentary)

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bohemian-rhapsody-in-blue · 3 years ago

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Beboptober Day 11: Procrastination

Thanks to @thestarlightsymphony for the prompt list! I’ll be honest, I’m not sure this idea makes sense to anyone else but me, but it was fun to write :)

Hey, Maya, says the tiny Jet Black who lives in my head. Shouldn’t you be writing your Beboptober fic for today?

I’ll do it later, I think back. I have work to do. History readings, and studying for my Astronomy midterm, and…

Okay, okay. Jet holds up his (imaginary) hands, smiles and nods approvingly as he exits. Probably a good idea, too, to get your homework done first.

(He doesn’t know I’m going to procrastinate on that too.)

~~~~~

Hey, says the tiny Faye Valentine who lives in my head. Don’t you have Beboptober to do tonight?

Yeah, I say. I stuff another cookie in my mouth, from earlier when I decided I couldn’t possibly write without the proper snacks. But I’ll do it later.

How much later d’you have? asks Faye, giving an idle glance at the clock between drags of her cigarette.

I can submit it a little after midnight and it will still be fine, I say. It’ll still be the same day in the time zones behind mine.

Stands to reason, says Faye, shrugging; I can’t tell if she’s convinced or not. I can’t tell if I’m convinced by myself or not, to be honest.

Then, over my protests, she reaches for one of my cookies. Hey, can I have one of those?

(As if she could have them anyway.)

~~~~~

Beboptober! Beboptober! chants the tiny Ed who lives in my head, whirling and spinning around in my mind’s eye. She likes Beboptober the best of all the characters in my head—she enjoys doing silly little things for me to write down, and she’s generally not the one being put through trauma or getting her neuroses dissected for all of Tumblr to see. The tiny Ein who lives in my head stands next to her and barks.

Yep, I tell her. Beboptober is, in fact, a thing I have to do. And that I will do. I glance at the clock in the upper-right of my computer screen and shake my head. Eventually.

The deadline looms ever-closer! says Ed, wiggling her fingers and injecting her voice with her spookiest vibrato. You must write noooooow!

I’ve got time, I say.

Whatcha doin’ instead? she says, standing on tiptoe and leaning over my shoulder to see my laptop screen.

It’s, er… How on earth am I supposed to explain this? It’s an article, I say. Okay, fine, not an article. A Reddit post. About the hobby drama behind Disney parks and their fans.

Ein gives me a reproachful look at the fact that this is what I’ve been doing instead of Beboptober. That I opened up that tab and have just gotten lost in it—for the past three hours.

And that’s not all. Also on my laptop are the New York Times crossword, a questionably-legal copy of a Sophie Kinsella novel, and a game that’s like 2048 except it’s called “Large Hadron Collider” and the blocks are labelled with the names of subatomic particles.

In my defense, I say, playing that last one kinda helps me think…

But Ed, all thoughts of deadlines and spookiness forgotten, is fascinated by the 2048 knockoff. She avidly watches me as I move the little blocks, every so often suggesting new movements and giggling, and that’s what we do for the next half an hour.

(With no progress made on Beboptober.)

~~~~~

Hey, says the tiny Spike Spiegel who lives in my head. It’s, like, 11 PM. You doing Beboptober anytime soon?

Later, I think back, gritting my teeth, not lifting my eyes from the computer screen—which is not open to my Beboptober doc.

He raises an eyebrow. Y’know, it gets kinda boring just sitting here, in your head, waiting for you to make us do stuff and write about it…

But what if the stuff is wrong? I say, fear creeping into my voice. Fear I haven’t really acknowledged until now—but really should more often, as it seems to be at the root of a lot of my procrastination. Like, out-of-character, or inaccurate to canon, or…

So, it’s wrong, he says. It’s one fanfic-event-thing, or whatever the hell it is. It’s not gonna be the end of the world.

I frown resolutely. I should probably look on the Bebop wiki just to be safe. And rewatch the episodes I’m thinking of for this idea, and look at the #Beboptober 2022 tag to see what other people have written, and…

Suit yourself. Spike shrugs his shoulders and leans back on the couch. (Don’t even ask me where he found a couch inside my mind.) But when you’re still up frantically typing at 3 AM, don’t blame me.

(Like he’s the pinnacle of healthy habits.)

~~~~~

AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! I say in my own head. It’s 2 in the morning and I don’t have anything written for Beboptober. What the hell am I supposed to do with this prompt?! I don’t even have an IDEA!

I knew this would happen, says Jet knowledgeably.

Happens every time, says Spike, taking a long drag from his cigarette. (I’ve told him before that smoking inside my head clogs up my brainspace and doesn’t let me think, but he never listens to me.)

Come on, guys, I say, glaring at them. Stop being smartasses and do something! Do something funny and thoughtful and deep so I can write it down!

Maybe we would have if you’d asked us earlier, snarks Faye.

I put my head in my hands. You’re seriously going to give me a creative block now?

Block, block, hard as a rock! chants Ed, as cheerfully as ever.

This is your fault, you know, says Jet. You could have avoided this if you had just gotten down to business earlier. You’ve brought this panic on yourself.

And posting your fic at like 3 AM when no one’s gonna see or reblog it, adds Spike. You brought that on yourself too.

And they’re right. I have. And it is my fault.

(Not that this will stop me from doing it all again the next day.)

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