#ed in the shape of a person

[dazaislanderer]

been busy bc of school but bc of school i keep drawing these characters in school??? so take this collection of sketches with stupid words around them bc they’re stupid (the one that’s actually properly-ish colored is dazai but with my haircut minus the bangs since irl bangs cant be parted in three ways or whatever) ok time to disappear again for months also idfk what this below is but ill put it here

as usual click things for resolution if interested

[the-shrimp-alchemist]

Anyone else think Ed and Ling should've been a little more. I dunno. Drenched in blood during this arc? :)c (for the sake of the blood showing up on their dark clothing let's just say there's So Much Of It)

I didn't draw this for October 3rd btw, but now's as good a day to post as any!

Bonus, by the time they emerge:

dramatic reveal ruined, more at 11

[the-dye-stained-socialite]

Josie Pinup for @thedeafprophet ;) (full nudity below the cut)

i think october wants her cloak back josie 🤭

(based on this:)

[legionofpotatoes]

you ever think about james gunn's king shark

[mellyoraa]

me, every time i step outside these days: *through clenched teeth* i don't owe the world to be pretty, i have a right to exist and be seen even when i'm ugly, i don't owe the world to be pretty

[izzysillyhandsy]

Ed and Izzy: Cleaning up the mess

As of the end of Ep7, Ed has left Stede and his whole life behind because "he doesn't even know who he is". And I'd like to suggest in this rambling essay that Ed's journey to self-knowledge and self-love can't properly begin before he's come to terms with what happened with Izzy.

Although Ed has steadily been trying to make amends, at the start of Ep6 he's still feeling unsettled and guilty as hell about the terrible things he did (was capable of!): killing his dad, condemning his whole crew to certain death, Izzy's toe, shooting Izzy, being "killed" by Jim and the crew with Izzy looking on...

There's a surprising amount of Izzy in Ed's flashback (I was honestly surprised the toe cutting made it in - somehow the whole discussion around "Izzy deserving it" made me think Ed thought so as well? But of course he doesn't think that. Izzy does.)

And while Ed's central conflict is his underlying self-hatred and self-doubt, there still is a daily reminder of all of his worst tendencies and (still very recent) acts right under his nose.

I think I got all the poison out of my system...

...or not. The indestructible fucker's still here.

Izzy is Ed’s walking and talking guilt room and no amount of deflecting, story-telling or sugarcoating can turn that poison into positivity.

Stede, I love you for your sometimes naive, sweet outlook on life (and Ed does too), but Ed and Izzy, that’s years and years of love and devotion, resentment and hate, building each other up and tearing each other down. They’ve just come out of the absolute worst breakup in history, with so many things unsaid and unknown they’d need the whole of S3 to talk it through.

Stede applying his motivational poster line to Izzy of all people is a little bit tone deaf, especially because it happens right while Izzy’s singing a bittersweet love song about/to Ed.

Which he continues, in French, while Ed and Stede are having sex for the first time so that's definitely not helping. I wonder how good Ed's French is, but it is honestly almost comical to imagine Ed cheating on Iz making love to his new boyfriend while his ex is singing his heart out about „It's only him for me, and me for him, for life - he told me, he swore to me, for life“.

So Izzy's still here. Izzy is still visibly hurting, physically (your fault!!) and mentally (your fault as well in so many ways). And you're already over it and having fun with your new boyfriend? Of course not.

Whatever they were/are to each other specifically, Ed and Izzy were as good as married. They spent almost every day together for decades. Izzy let himself be maimed and hurt over and over again out of love and loyalty. And Ed feels very, very guilty about it. Even if this guilt is not the first thing constantly on Ed's mind, it's certainly there in the background, simmering.

On the other hand, Izzy is the one who kept Ed stationary - they had a good, secure (for pirates anyway) life together, why risk change? I don't think Izzy had noticed (or wanted to notice) how bad it'd gotten for Ed for a long time. So there's also a lot of resentment there from Ed's side, all tied up with Izzy.

It's a very complicated mess and I think that all this is at least part of the reason for Ed's confusion and need to... just go.

But that's not all, by far.

History repeating itself...

...maybe this seems a bit familiar?

We don't know a lot of Ed&Izzy's backstory (apart from: it's a long one!), but I think it's (almost) canon that it is Izzy's job to make sure Ed is content and safe and, most importantly, to kill for Ed.

And even though their relationship (whatever it was) probably didn't start out as tender and sweet as Ed/Stede, I think they started out much more carefree and happy, possibly excited and adventurous. Until their lifestyle took a toll on both of them - Izzy as Ed's killer and constant protector and Ed as Blackbeard, who Ed started to resent more and more. In the end, all that was left were two broken people in a codependent relationship.

Now it seems like gentle, sweet Stede is slowly turning into Izzy 2.0 - swearing (as far as I remember, Stede almost never said fuck in S1), becoming a "real pirate", and worst of all, killing for Ed even though Ed almost begged him not to (seems familiar?).

Plus, this is happening when Ed, still freshly traumatized from his stint as pirate extreme wants nothing to do with violence in general and piracy specifically. Least of all he wants Stede damaged (or izzyfied).

Stede seemed like a way out of pirating, a chance for a loving, fulfilling relationship. Maybe even a way out of his relationship with Izzy, who I think Ed (subconsciously?) blames for the destructive path his life had taken.

Now he isn't so sure anymore if Stede actually wants this.

Talk it through...

...eventually, maybe. Hopefully.

Of course, not every obstacle Ed has to face, every step on the road to self-love and happiness is about Izzy. Vice versa, Izzy is much more than his relationship with Ed, and he has his own problems independent from him.

But this "marriage" with Izzy was Ed’s longest and most important relationship, and also the last relationship before Stede. The way their relationship became restrictive, damaging and unescapable in the end was both their faults. It'd be quite natural if Ed was a bit cautious with that kind of history. Am I a person who always ends up like this? How did we fuck up this badly? Is there a way out?

Most importantly though, a lot of Ed’s guilt and self-doubt is wrapped up in Izzy - if you're capable of doing that (and that, and that) to the person you love - what else are you capable of?

In conclusion, Ed and Izzy need real closure, one way or the other. Before that happens, Ed won't be happy on any way he chooses, and certainly not in his relationship with Stede.

At the moment, they're not talking, really. It's incredibly sweet though, the way they make these little concessions towards the other (Izzy doing much more than Ed, as per usual). They're almost shy, asking for advice, giving reassurance and understanding, and sharing bottles, smiles and looks.

Will they get a long heart-to-heart in the finale? Of course not, there's not enough time. I think we might get a symbolic moment though.

Ed already knows Izzy loves him. Izzy really doesn't know (on top of everything else, poor kid). The only thing he got from Ed was the "Sorry 'bout your leg", even the latch got a bit more.

Izzy needs to hear that too. "It's not your fault you're broken. You didn't break you. Just trying to do your job, weren't you?"

(btw, I love that Ed is softly blowing onto the latch here, while Izzy is doing the same to his little shark <3)

It's also possible Izzy will get his "I loved you, best I could" in person. Hopefully not exactly in those words. But, for both of them, this will be a start to open proper communication (which might happen offscreen between seasons).

And when we get S3, Ed will be (more) prepared to embark on his journey to happiness, with or without Izzy by his side.

[seithr]

top 5 blazblue character designs

YIPPEE BLAZBLUE

I feel like my tastes are known but I still will take this chance to gush a bit about the characters and design philosophy of em that Ive always been real fond of :)

No particular order here or else I'll be here all night formatting on mobile. More under the cut!

HAKUMEN it goes without saying I LOVE HAKUMEN'S DESIGN SO MUCH. The taloned tabi, the silhouette of wide pants and closefitted shinguards/torso. The faces/eyes scattered across his armour while the face is totally blank—made more unreadable and inhuman by the slats of neck guard. Fox-ears built into the helm shape to feel both animal and mechanical like antennae...and obviously the longass hair to sell the "tailed" look.

I remember reading really early on into liking BlazBlue—I can't remember the source, come maul me if I'm wrong—I read that Hakumen as a character and design was made when Mori was in middle or highschool, the idea of "what is really cool," and much of those ideas stayed. I not only really respect that and think its charming as someone who still likes MY own designs from that time, but, as it turns out, middle schoolers are still right. Hakumen is very cool. Augh. Fucking? Time travelling fox-robot samurai who's here to kill his brother to save him and also himself because his old self wanted to do the same thing for the wrong reason and thay thought disgusts him. Also him and Tsubaki in general make me start to choke (positive). God ok I have four more guys to discuss. Yes i also like Susanoo but I feel like thats a copout, I like that he's both animalistic and brutal martial arts as the God of War. Anyways CONTINUING

VALKENHAYN R HELLSING I will admit that he is an old man in a suit and that speaks to me but that he's one of the strongest beings alive as a old man in a suit ohh. And he's a werewolf ohhhh. Shifting just his body parts to kick and rip with his claws, quickly leaping back and forth between a normal bone-breaking jab or knee or biting and snarling—the dance between raw force and refined precision and a brutal tear's always been sooo cool to see and think about. I also think his ribbon in his hair moving to his wolfy tail is very cute. A man of sharp extremes from refined to flashing his fangs, human and wolf, cool and very cute. I like him :)

TSUBAKI YAYOI her uniform is so nice uruururururugh. Big cape and the way it drapes around her in combat like wings... Her sword and buckler/Izayoi looking so unique for being a "basic sword and shield for the hero"-type of deal! The eye on her hat's always been really striking too—the only "cold" colours being her and her uniforms eyes.....................Sparing a glance at Hakumen's recurring red eyes for no reason here. Knightly angel women and her flower-like "tassets" hanging off her clothes. Its a uniform which plausibly feels like it could be a uniform—she doesn't have anything uniquely "hers" or "for this female character" while still being really standout and clean. Her design's just really good guys. You can do so much.

Really want to mention her masked look too at least really quick here. my girllllll...

RAGNA THE BLOODEDGE well of course I really like his design. Yeah him being here is partially obligation because I love his character a lot but both things inform each other in the end. Mr Grim Reaper, Enemy of the World, red-and-black with a demon's arm on one side and a rebuilt one on the other. His big red coat and the oversize shoulders! The massive baggy pants—I love the silhouette he has. Blood Scythe/Aramasa/His sword transforming and able to clack around and shift's just. Always been such a cool design. Seithr-powered man, devil-smoke powered man, ashes of your own old dead self-powered man. Ragna is fucking cool auauauuuaghrhg.

And it DOES only make it more charming that he has a good heart, has a bit of a Kicked Puppy charm about him if you can pardon uhh that implication. He is just some fucking guy and he likes barbecues. He is sweet and cares for stray cats. His dad is a cat. He blows up the government regularly. He's a rebel who visually looks really clean if "intentionally trying to look like someone you should think is cool", which is both dork-charming and cute and also actually yeah cool because it's not a visual mess.

I like that his arm underneath is all belts and bandaged—Bloodedge only wearing half his coat for example is such a good look and it shows his clean black shirt underneath, which feels a lot like... Under that big eyecatching rebel coat of his (personality), Ragna's... Ragna, I don't know. I hope that makes sense. Knowing his personality makes me like his design a lot more than if I didn't I think.

As mentionned in Hakumen's block of text however: I already really like chuuni-ass designs, so combined in Ragna he makes me unwell entirely.

And last (I am running out of images allowed per post :((((( )

Kitty peepaw. I am cheating slightly here. I like the Kaka Kittens' big hoods too and think they're very cute and very eyecatching and I adore them always—the kittens especially being stompy little things that travel in packs are really cute. I love that Jubei, actual strongest thing in the world, has the oversized paw sleeves too. There's cat claws bigger than his body stored in what looks like emo kids' oversize hoodie sleeves. He's so simple and still the imagery of that coat gets reused several times over and it looks good every time. Orange kitty peepaw. AND he has an eyepatch, how can I not like eyepatches.

There are my 5 favourite BlazBlue designs :> Sorry if them all being C series or smth is boring wauh. I can spend as long as I want thinkinh about it but I do always seem to come back to these guys, give or take one change depending on the mood. Unchanging faves are Hakumen and Tsubaki for sure and forever though.

[arcann]

i think deadfire's little animations for the companions should be the standard in crpgs tbh

[halfdeadwallfly]

i'm so combustible today

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

favorite albums/albums that have shaped you

I was tagged by @little-miss-scare-all666 ! Danke Liebling! 🖤✨️

I decided to go for a mix of faves and ones that shaped me since childhood (can you guess which are which?? :P):

I shall tag: @melancholic--soull @hymnsandhearses @drum-cu-naluci @seraphinesaintclair @wernerherzoghaircut @amarantoo @welcome-home-nyx and anyone else who would like to do this! ^.^ No pressure for anyone tagged ofc

[anaalnathrakhs]

it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.

mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.

[crustyisgettingbetter]

tonight i couldn't brush my teeth, so i used mouthwash instead, and that's enough.

tonight i couldn't wash my face, but i took off my makeup, and that's enough.

today i couldn't clean my room, but i moved most of my clothes out of my way, and that's enough.

today i couldn't mask all day, so i only masked for customers, and that was MORE than enough. (side note, you don't owe masking to anyone, if you feel safe then unmasking is GOOD. i work customer service and often mask reflexively, if i know i don't have the energy, i avoid situations where i would need to mask. ie i avoid looking at customers as i pass them so i don't reflexively smile.)

today i couldn't cook, so i ate some ingredients, and that's enough.

today it was hard for me to do things, but it didn't feel like a bad day because i didn't make myself do those things. i only did what i was able to do to not let it be a problem. i know i can't just not care for my teeth or my skin. i know i shouldn't just let my space be a mess. i know I can't just not eat. but that doesnt mean i need to do those things perfectly.

eating some reheated noodles and sliced cheese isn't as good for me as a full, nutritious meal, but it's better than not eating at all.

putting my clean clothes that were on the floor into a hamper (of all clean clothes) isn't as good as putting them away, but it's better than leaving them where i'll trip on them

i know I can't half-do everything every day. but i have to half-do something most days. very rarely can i fully do everything for a whole day. i brush my teeth twice a day most days (but even then most of the time i can't do the full two minutes). i wash my face twice a day most days. i cook at least one meal for myself most days (at work i typically buy a meal i don't have to cook myself) it's okay that some days, i can't do those things.

you Do Not Ever owe Anyone perfection.

plain text for above:

start pt. (side note, you don't owe masking to anyone, if you feel safe then unmasking is GOOD. i work customer service and often mask reflexively, if i know i don't have the energy, i avoid situations where i would need to mask. ie i avoid looking at customers as i pass them so i don't reflexively smile.) end pt.

i just didn't want to take up too much space on that segment

[wekillitwithfire]

dropping out and becoming a sims youtuber. i don't want to write papers anymore

[karmaphone]

literally I don't care if you think plastic surgery is dumb when it saves and improves so many lives 'oh so you're justifying x celebrity's seventh nose job' no you idiot there's nuance im protecting the sixteen year old with a deformed spine & ribs from having breasts too large for her frame im defending skin grafts & replacements for people with injuries and congenital deformities im protecting gender affirming care im defending peoples right to have teeth that don't abscess and kill them im protecting the mom who's painfully tucking her nipples into her jeans waistband because she didn't know she had eds before having children im defending the grandpa that went functionally blind in one eye because a mole got too large im protecting the people who can't breathe properly out of their noses and literally everyone else whose lives could even marginally be improved by plastic surgery. there's a difference between being influenced to that extent by rampantly enforced western beauty standards and fucking caring for people

[catcatb0y]

Me: I am having a really bad brain day. Like all it takes is one little push and I'm gonna fall apart.

Tumblr: Do yoy want BPD memes??? Constantly tagged 'Actual BPD' and 'Borderline Personality Disorder' and 'BPD Mood'???

Me: Ah shit, why are those relatable wtf??

Tumblr: How about self harm posts that type like tw cvts and s3lf ha//rm and censor d3press10n

Me: Wow I magically don't feel like I'm spralling into insanity.

PSA don't censor your goddamned fucking tags. If you're gonna post about cutting and self harm and smoking and replasing and you fucking type it out like #cvts s3lf #ha//rm #d3press10n go back to fucking Twitter and TikTok or learn to properly tag your goddamned shit.

Stop censoring your fucking trigger tags, you assholes. No one is going to learn fifty different fucking ways that you want to spell legitamate fucking triggers because you are typing in The TikTokified Fucking L33T sp34k.

If you're fucking tagging a goddamned trigger, type out the whole fucking word. People blocking out #pro ed and #self harm (like me!! who has both of those tags blocked!!) STILL sees your fucking vent posts because y0y typ3 l!k3 th1s so no 0ne s//ees y0ur posts while you romanticize being a direct danger to yourself.

[phynali]

I appreciate the sentiment but for many of us, it's really, really not.

PE fucked me up as a kid/teen. I don't dislike exercise but I do dislike my entire class being punished for exercises that I'm unable to do (we had to run extra lines if even one student in the class took too long to complete them). I dislike almost passing out and throwing up on the gymnasium floor because I pushed myself too hard trying not to let my classmates down and my teacher wouldn't let me go drink water or slow down to work within my own limits until an activity was finished.

The first panic attacks I ever had developed just after I turned 13 and they were about going to PE, to the extent where my mom got me some (pseudo-therapy) help specifically to work through my anxiety over it.

I wasn't even out of shape. I was a relatively active kid and did some team sports. In hindsight it turns out I have tachycardia which creates exercise intolerance (in my case basically an inability to run/jog), but instead of acknowledging my limits or helping me, I was shamed by PE teachers and by my peers in that class for failing to perform to a standard that I was physically incapable of ever meeting.

In adulthood, I can work within my own limits. I can determine which exercises I can do and which ones make me lightheaded, and when I do feel unwell, other adults around me check in and respect those limits and issues, even without having any idea I might have a heart/autonomic basis for them. No one restricts my access to getting a drink of water nor punishes me or my peers for my shortcomings.

PE isn't awful because it's exercise. It's awful when/because the educators involved don't respect the children in their care, especially those who aren't able to perform to a certain standard. The punitive nature of it is the problem, not the activity itself.

just remember it could always be worse. we could still have PE.