striderbabe

[striderbabe]

being a self-taught artist with no formal training is having done art seriously since you were a young teenager and only finding out that you’re supposed to do warm up sketches every time you’re about to work on serious art when you’re fuckin twenty-five

[striderbabe]

Hermione Granger’s Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by @waspabi

‘You’re a wizard, Harry’ is easier to hear from a half-giant when you’re eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you’re seventeen and late for work. 

i recently fell v v hard into this fanfic, and even tho i’ve otherwise never read a page of drarry in my life; it’s incredible & love it & i highly recommend it. anyway i wanted to try some illustrative screenshot things 

[striderbabe]

harry potter starts a youtube channel and all of his videos are called like:  

“STORY TIME: I WAS A TEENAGE CHOSEN ONE”

 “BABYSITTING MY FRIEND’S WEIRD DEAD HORSE (INVISIBLE)” 

“THERE ARE DARK WIZARDS TRYING TO KILL ME BUT ONLY THREE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT MY HOUSE”

[striderbabe]

the thing that pisses me off about 50 shades of grey isn’t that it’s twilight fanfiction, it’s that it’s bad ooc twilight fanfiction. the implication that edward would be into bdsm is so fucking dumb he’s a 100 year old virgin who cried and went into a week-long depression the first time he fucked bella he wouldn’t even consider the idea of fucking her until they were married because he didn’t want to compromise his virtue and you’re telling me he’s a dom? no, edward cullen has the most boring vanilla sex ever the only thing unconventional about the way bella and edward fuck is that bella tops and edward cries the whole time and bella gets fed up and goes to the other house to fuck rosalie and edward cries some more in his room alone

[striderbabe]

had to

[striderbabe]

mailman: *tries to put mail in my doors mail slot*

me: *shoves my sword through and goes for the knees*

[striderbabe]

dirkjohn meetcute where theyre both on a discord server rose owns and john is posting screencaps of texts with his cousin jake(edited to remove identifying info ofc) bc theyre fighting over something silly and dirks like “He sounds just like my ex-bf/current bff, tell me more” and they just back and forth in the dms with silly anecdotes about these two guys they know and theyre really bonding over how ridiculous they are until johns like “the weirdest thing about him is that i swear he has like a fetish for blue women?” and dirk just breaks into a sweat and replies “Really. That’s very coincidental, as my bro here has a ‘blue dame’ kink as well. How very uncanny.”

theres a good 15 minutes of nothing before john asks “would you happen to look like a hot anime man who wears bad clothes?” and dirk panics and blocks him

[striderbabe]

john: you look like the perfect humanization of a horse.

dirk: That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you.

[striderbabe]

From now on, I will view all my suicidal and depressive thoughts as Dirk taking control of the narrative once more.

“You’re just another body of cells in this world. There’s nothing special about you.”

Shut the fuck up you twunk, you collect katanas unironically.

[striderbabe]

WHAT

[striderbabe]

Due to personal reasons, I’m becoming an enemy of the state.

[striderbabe]

just talked to the moon and she said gay rights

[striderbabe]

right wing circlejerk videos in the vein of “cool smart man DESTROYS submissive beta cuck soyboy in argument” reek of cliche pornhub titles, implying freud-like sexual undertones to the fantasy of winning political debates, looping back to the idea that sex is all about maintaining power. in this essay i will

[striderbabe]

[striderbabe]

Marsti/folkyl?

Immediately begins to shimmy when maroon 5 comes onMarsti, but only when she’s by herself.

Wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakesOnce again, it’ll be Folykl. 

Sends the other unsolicited nudesFolykl, definitely. Marsti just sends her texts reminding her to take a bath lmao

Brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow beltMarsti. 

Comes to a complete halt outside bakeries/candy shopsIt’ll be Folykl once again. Marsti just tells her that she’ll get herself all sticky with the frosting and Folykl goes “isn’t that the entire point?”

Blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shitMarsti lmao

Killed the guy (also, which hid the body)Folykl. Marsti hides it, but she complains the whole time.

Wears the least clothing around the houseFolykl. She’ll either wear just her sweater or she’ll steal Marsti’s apron and just wear that. 

Has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reasonMarsti. When she’s giving Folykl a good wash in the tub, she’ll just pause, lean forward and kiss her cheek.

[striderbabe]

marsti: you have voidrot

folykl: and you have ligma

marsti: what’s ligma

kuprum: *starts breakdancing*