#eating children isn't the first thing that comes to my mind when i think of holiday cheer but you do you RTD

[50000-bees-in-a-trenchcoat]

i'm fully prepared for the debate over whether or not this is a christmas song

[masonmontz]

heeey, hope you like it:)

REMEMBER: english is not my first language

fluff 🥹 word count: 2,7k

✦‎۟ ࣭ ⊹

“What’s wrong, Y/n?” Jaz asked while the two of you were having afternoon coffee in a bakery in Manchester. “You've been quiet since we got here.”

“I'm all worked up, don't worry, it's nothing” your smile didn't reach your eyes and Jaz noticed, and even though you've only known each other for a short time, anyone would realize that there was something bothering you.

You and Mason had been officially dating for a little over two months, but you had met his family before that and you loved them all, it was really great spending the holidays with them in Greece.

“You can tell me, you know, don't you?” she held out her hand and you lightly squeezed her hand across the table, smiling once more and nodding. “Is it something with Mason?”

“Jaz, don’t worry, I’m fine” she rolled her eyes and you smiled, trying to push the thought that had been haunting you for a few weeks to the back of your mind, but it was inevitable.

“Okay, so let's go, I'm already missing my girls” she murmured and you smiled, remembering the photo Mason sent you minutes ago where Summer was putting makeup on him and Mila was trying to put bows in his hair. “Should we take a pie?”

“Please, lemon pie is the best ever” you almost groaned when you saw a lemon pie on the counter, so Jaz went over and asked to wrap it up. “Debbie wants us to stop by the grocery store to pick up something for dinner?”

“She texted me to say she was making lasagna. I've come to Manchester and I need to spend the day at the gym because all I do is eat.”

“She likes to spoil Mason.”

“This is ridiculous, she never makes food like this for me, only for her big baby” you couldn't help but laugh, because they were clearly jealous of the way Debbie treats Mason, and Mason loves being spoiled by them, even though the family is now full of children and he is a grown man.

“He takes advantage because he knows she does everything for him.”

“That little devil, was the same thing when he was a child.”

You and Jaz got along really well, the girls adored you too, and you were in love with Mason's nieces and nephew, but it was sad because Stacey lived far away.

You love Mason and his family so much that it hurts, especially because your family lives far away and you miss being welcomed by them, and you found comfort in your boyfriend. However, Mason never said he loved you.

Of course, everyone has their own time and maybe he isn't ready to take that step in such a new relationship, but you listen and notice how easily he says “I love you” to his family. You just wish he would tell you he loves you too.

“Hey, had fun with Jaz?” Mason asked when you arrived at his house, he hugged you and left a kiss on your lips. “I missed you, babe. My family is stealing you from me.”

“They just think I’m cooler than you” you murmured and Mason laughed. Summer ran to you and you walked away from Mason, walking behind her to the coffee table where she was coloring pictures.

“Do you want to color with me? Uncle Masey didn't want to, he said he was tired.”

“Tired, uh?” you asked and looked at Mason who just shrugged and laid down on the couch, because he hadn't done anything all day. “Summer, I'm going to take a shower and then I'll color with you, okay?”

You walked upstairs to take a shower in Mason's bedroom bathroom, and luckily you had some clothes at his place or you would have had to go to your apartment to get them. Mason walked into the room just as you entered the bathroom, you smiled as he followed you into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub, the same way you two do when you're talking in the bathroom.

“I just need some silence, I'll watch you take a shower” you rolled your eyes as you took off your clothes, ignoring Mason's gaze all over your body.

“Hey, the doctor texted me, I think I'm going to need to go to the hospital for a checkup tomorrow” you said, remembering the message the doctor sent you this morning. You were hospitalized for days a month ago because of severe headaches, and now you are being monitored by two doctors to see if everything is okay.

“But are you feeling any pain?” Mason asked worriedly and you quickly shook your head, watching him sigh in relief.

“They want to do new exams, I'm fine. You have training tomorrow, don't you?”

“Yes, but I'll go with you to do the exams and then I'll go to Carrington.”

“No need, Mason, I can go alone.”

“Okay, but call me and text me” you smiled at him, and Mason actually looked worried about you.

Again you thought he hadn't said “I love you” to you yet, and you looked down as you washed your hair and Mason hummed a song under his breath.

“Hey, I bought you something” Mason spoke and left the bathroom. He left the bathroom door open and you could see him walking past the bedroom with a gift box which he placed on the bed before heading back to the bathroom. “I think you'll like it.”

“What is it?”

“You will open it and see, be patient.”

Mason continued talking to you for ten minutes until you finished your shower, and he stayed there until you put on another set of clothes and organized the bathroom.

“Do you want me to dry your hair?” he asked and you looked at him through the reflection of the mirror, Mason was behind you and you smiled feeling love all over your chest. Mason stood up when you nodded, and he looked for the hairdryer he uses when he is really late.

You wanted to cry as you watched Mason drying your hair calmly, focused and sometimes smiling at you. Maybe he doesn't love you, but he definitely likes you, because no man would ever do that, right?

You looked at the floor, feeling your eyes fill with tears and blinked a few times to keep from crying. Mason noticed and turned off the dryer, turning you to face him.

“What’s wrong, babe? You've been quiet for a few days” you didn't want to tell him the real reason you were crying because you were ashamed of doubting his feelings.

“I’m a little bit worried” you said referring to the exam you will take tomorrow, and Mason hugged you and kissed your forehead.

“Nothing will happen, you’re fine and healthy and we will spend our lives together.”

“Really? Do you want to spend your life by my side?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I want to?” you shrugged and smiled, but it still wasn't the answer you needed. “C’mere, let's open your present and put a smile on that face.”

You wiped away some tears and smiled at Mason as he pulled you over to the bed where he had placed the gift. It was a pink package with hearts drawn on it and you felt bad about tearing it, but you still pulled the package open to see what was inside.

“It's heavy, it must have been expensive” you muttered and Mason rolled his eyes.

“You can't guess the price because of the weight” he said and laughed. “Open, open.”

You swear you had stopped crying, but you started crying again as soon as you saw the gift Mason bought for you. Big tears fell as you held the box and cried. Mason stood up worriedly, hugging you.

“What’s wrong? You didn't like it?” You hugged him tightly, crying into his chest and letting your emotions take over.

“It's the most beautiful gift I've ever received.”

You held the box to look at the book nook of a village in Greece, the same one you visited when you were there on vacation. Every detail caught your attention and you couldn't speak as you sobbed, hugging Mason once more.

“Did you like it? I thought of you when I saw it, and you can put it on your bookshelf.”

“I loved it. Thank you, Mase.”

“Stop crying, okay? I just want to see you happy.”

“They are tears of happiness.”

“I'd rather see a smile on your lips.”

✦‎۟ ࣭ ⊹

“Y/n, we're going to keep you under observation tonight, okay? Your exams are altered and we need to do new exams to check if everything is okay” Doctor Reid said as he entered the room, and you sighed sitting in the hospital hallway, because it would be another long night alone in that scary place.

“But am I okay?” your heart was racing and deep down you were scared. Since you were hospitalized for the first time this has been consuming you.

“No need to worry, we just need to be sure of the result to know which medicine you can take.”

“Okay” you murmured a little in relief, and a nurse arrived and took you to the room where you would spend the night. You hated the hospital, especially being alone there for a whole night with a needle in your arm.

You sent Mason a message saying that everything was fine but he didn't reply to you, so you just talked to the nurses who were giving you medicine and making the bed where you would stay.

Half an hour later Mason appeared in the hospital room with your pink bag that he probably filled with things and a black one.

“Hey, no need for all this, it's just one night” you said seeing how many things he brought, so Mason left everything on the armchair and walked towards you.

“I'm worried, are you sure you're okay, love?” he asked and left a kiss on your forehead, then another on your lips. “One bag is mine.”

“Why? You don't have to stay here, you can stay with your family.”

“Only in your dreams will I leave you alone in the hospital, Y/N.”

“No, seriously, Doctor Reid said it's just for some tests, you can't leave your family alone there, they came to see you.”

“Hey, I'm going to stay here and I already told the coach that I'll be late tomorrow.”

You huffed, because there was nothing you could say to make Mason change his mind.

He just lay down next to you on the hospital bed, and kept you company for hours until he went to the hospital cafeteria to get something for you both to eat. He came back and stayed by your side the whole time, and when you fell asleep, Mason held you close to him and kissed your hair, snuggling into you and sleeping too, because where you are is where he feels good.

“Thank you for spending the night with me at the hospital” you said as soon as Mason dropped you off at your apartment, and he was already late for practice but didn't seem to care.

Luckily, the doctor said everything was fine and there was no reason to worry anymore, he just prescribed you some medicine to take when you have other headaches.

“You know I would stay by your side in the hospital for a month if necessary” he mumbled and you smiled, hugging him one last time before he ran off because he was late.

“I love you” you yelled, and Mason just blew you a kiss before closing the door.

✦‎۟ ࣭ ⊹

Mason has been traveling with the team and you are increasingly drowning in the thoughts that he doesn't love you. You cried a few times alone at home, watching a romantic movie or seeing someone post love quotes on the internet.

You're at rock bottom.

You were so lost in your own thoughts crying while watching The Longest Ride that you didn't notice Mason entering your apartment.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” he asked and you got scared, trying to wipe away your tears so he wouldn't see, but it was too late.

“I'm just crying because of the movie” you pointed at the screen right at the moment Luke is picking up Sophia for a date, and there was no reason to cry.

“Hey, I know you, there's been something bothering you for days and you still haven't told me what it is. I'm getting worried and so is my mum, she said you've been quiet.”

Mason pulled you from the couch and you let more tears fall, you stood in front of him and looked him in the eyes.

“I don't want to look like a fool.”

“You know I’d never think that of you, love” he tucked your hair behind your ear.

“It's just that…” you stopped, unable to speak, but Mason encouraged you. “Do you love me?”

“What?” he asked, breathing a sigh of relief and laughing, but you cried when he didn't answer.

“You never said you loved me, and it's okay if you don't feel anything-” Mason put his hand over your mouth when you sobbed, and he stopped you from continuing to speak.

“Oh my God, I can't believe you're crying over this, baby” Mason held back his laughter. “Do you think I don't love you?”

You shrugged and looked at him with sad eyes.

“I said I love you several times” he murmured.

“No, you never said, actually.”

“I said yeah. I showed it. I showed you I love you when I introduced you to my whole family. I showed you I love you when I introduced you to my friends. I showed you I love you when I took you on a trip with my family because I know they would love you as much as I do.”

His heart was racing, and Mason continued speaking.

“I show you that I love you every day. I show you that I love you when I buy you books, when I take you out to dinner. I love you so much that I bought you a book nook from Greece for you to put among your books because it was our first trip together.”

“I showed you that I love you when I stayed by your side in the hospital for an entire night, and don't get me wrong, it wasn't to get something in return, I did it because I love you and I wouldn't leave you alone.”

“I- I” you sobbed as Mason hugged you. Now you look like a fool, because you were so focused on the words that you didn't pay attention to everything Mason does for you every day. “I’m sorry.”

“If you need to hear it, I'll say it. I love you. I love you so much Y/n that it hurts. I love you so much that I would spend a week eating your failed recipes just to make you happy. I would listen to Taylor Swift for the rest of my life just to show you that I love you. I love you.”

You were laughing and crying, and Mason was smiling too as he pulled you to sit next to him on the couch.

“I can tell you that I love you every day if you want, but I prefer to show you.”

“I'm such an idiot, my God. It's just that you say that you love your family all the time and you've never said it to me even the times I've said it.”

“Because they have the habit of saying I love you and that's why I do it, but I say I love you when I'm stuck to you all the time and don't want to let go.”

“I feel like a fool.”

“No, love, you know you don't.”

“I love you.”

“I love you. Sorry I didn't realize you wanted to hear it.”

“No, I want you to show me.”

“Ah, you don't even know what you want” he said and kissed you.

“I know exactly what I want. You. For the rest of my life.”

[werywrenniethoughts]

Help Wanted 2: Lets Talk About Sun (Spoilers for Help Wanted 2!)

Okay,

I've had some time to digest Help Wanted 2. What a freaking roller coaster. I'm assuming you all have played/watched/seen Help Wanted 2, so be advised if you haven't seen everything we have access to so far, I'll be bringing it up.

One thing I'll say upfront is its nice to know Sun and Moon ARE older like I theorized. They're tied to the Fall Festival which took place in 1970 per one of the prize collector posters and the fact they deal with the carousel. I think Steel Wool also tried to point out and confirm Moon is patient zero for....I guess I should say Vanny's influence in the PizzaPlex. He's definitely the favorite to be pitted against us. I'm STILL losing my mind over the Princess Quest Ending.

So, the DCA fandom has been all across the board, ranging from "I love sassy Sun" to "Sun is SO mean. This ruins my headcannon." I don't think it really does. At least, it doesn't have to.

Our first encounter with Sun in front of us is Arts and Crafts. This minigame is located in the world we eventually learn is AR. We also are clearly a new FazBear hire. Sun is definitely sassy, and let's face it, VERY critical of what he defines as a mistake. BUT the flip side of that coin is he is still nice when you do the art correctly. He calls you friend, he wants to help you. If the player eats the crafts, he loses his mind. It's because he's worrying for the player due to the effects eating the crafts will have on them, ie: "That is how you get ulcers!". (By far, MY FAVORITE line of Sun's btw. Kellen stated that line and the indigestion line were both improved btw- genius.) He still doesn't want Moon to get you, he doesn't want to get in trouble. The one threat is after you've been hitting him several times and you've outright pissed him off. (I personally, think the "I should turn off the lights myself" was a drama king being a drama king.) Then we take the mask off. We see everything destroyed and Sun acts like the Sun we've always known. "I'm perfectly fine where I am. It's better this way. It's safer this way." "Keep the generator on. Without it I won't be able to help you." He's the same as he's always been. We've just seen a new layer.

What we ultimately have to come to terms with, is that Sun is a control freak and a perfectionist. He thinks he "has" to be. He doesn't want you to move from your craft table so he can watch you like a hawk. Do the job you are assigned. Get in, get out. Do the art HIS way, and follow HIS rules. If you don't, bad things can happen. Bad things HAVE happened. Another explanation could also be that maybe he isn't as free of the glitch trap virus as we thought? He can be sassy, he can be brutally honest, he can be concerned for us, for children, and his own darkness can rear its head, all at the same time.

Steel Wool could also be trying to slam into our faces that Sun is incomplete. He is one-half of a whole. He has good intentions, he means well at his core, but he cannot stop, regroup, and act rather than react. He gets stressed, and can't cope and adjust. Instead, he demands control back when he feels like he's about to lose it. Moon is calm, calculating, and logical. It's why they need to be whole and why Sun is so grateful to Cassie when she fixes them to become Eclipse. As Eclipse, they both find the parts of themselves they've so desperately needed.

[littlestardude]

⏤͟͟͞͞☆Dating Kenny HCS|| Reader x Kenny McCormick

✰ - SFW & NSFW - ✰

Plot: Just sum HCS!

Note: I love Kenny McCormick so fucking much he's so pookie smookie, also first post yippee!

TW: Drugs, death bcs of drugs (its Kenny he comes back-), incest ment (concerning rats), smut HCS at the end

Gender: AFAB Gen neutral

✰ - SFW - ✰

FLIRTS NONSTOP. all day every day, he just doesn't fucking stop. But the moment you flirt back.

Bro is dead, 6 feet under, giggling and kicking his feet

Has trouble falling asleep and sometimes you'll wake up and he'll be just staring at you

"Kenny what the fuck are you doing... "

"You're so pretty... Can I not stare at my partner in the middle of the night!? :(("

Demands you cuddle him to sleep

Did I mention touchy?

Yea

Super fucking touchy

Literally has to be touching you all the time as if you we're his phone in his pocket or he'll freak out

Actually learned the value of life once you stepped in. He's died only once.

Why you ask? In his words

"I can NOT just say no to free drugs"

Drugs in question were something called... Crazy 8...basically 8 fucking drugs mixed together.

Yea he wasn't gonna survive.

Now you have to keep an eye on him, and tell him to just stick with weed

Oh yeah weed

Bro is toasted most of the time.

AND reeks of weed 24/7

Anytime you smell weed the first thought that pops into your head is, "where's Kenny? "

Basically weed is a comforting smell to you now 💀

Asked you to get high with him

You were reluctant at first but then you tried it... Let's just say it's a common occurrence now

You think he's flirty when he's sober? When he's high omfg.

Compliments like crazy, and can actually take compliments back when he's high

You adore high Kenny because he literally turns into the silliest mf alive

Super duper touchy when you're both high, like on top of each other the whole time

Piercings out the wazoo

Tattoos to come...

You let him shower at your place so he actually became CLEAN once you started dating.

Like his hair is actually touchable now, and not greasy

He's still a rat boy tho, and does dirty rat boy things

Actually HAS rats

You came over one time and he introduced you to his ratty children

"This is Frankie, and Frankie Jr, and Frankie Jr Jr, and that's Maggy, and Rosie and- FRANKLIN JR GET OFF YOUR SISTER RIGHT NOW! >:("

"Um, Ken... I don't know how to tell you this but rats dont care about incest..."

Almost cried, "it's like medieval Spain all over again... "

You pat his back, "it never gets easier... " you sighed dramatically

Loves animals, you guys wanna get a dog and cat together!

He loves you and adores you so much

He thinks you're the best person to ever come out of this cruel world, and he tells you that all the time

You also love him. So much. You think he's the prettiest, sweetest boy

You tell him that most of the time when you think he's asleep, he usually isn't because he loves hearing it

Back to the weed thing, LOVES when u guys order McDonald's when ur both high and have the munchies

Bro can throw down 2 big macs, 1 double quarter pounder, 20 piece chicken nuggets, and 2 orders of large fries and still be like

"I need something sweet... " 💀

Anytime you're out with your friends, Kenny's usually wearing his parka and you're the only one who can understand Kennish

Also holding hands the whole time

It took you awhile to get used to the fact you had a super clingy partner but you got used to it

You guys were able to get a place together eventually after high school

It's super shitty but it's home <3

You'll eventually upgrade after grueling work and endless shifts

But you definitely make time for each other

✰ - NSFW - ✰

(The fun begins *rubs hands evily together*)

SWITCH KENNY SUPREMACY!!! Literally does not mind either, as long as he's with you and he's naked? And you're naked? Bros chilling

Fucking loves oral, receiving and giving

First time he ate you out, you were on cloud mf 9, seeing stars n shit

He LOVES your thighs, like before he eats you out he just likes kissing and squeezing your thighs

HOWEVER. The first time you sucked him off. Omg, HIS thighs were MESMERIZING.

Something about boys thighs... Just seeing them pushed together, your fucking weakness.

His thighs are pale and ever so slightly plushy... Help me

KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH HIS MF HANDS‼️

He grabs you and stimulates you in the best fucking spots

LOVES COCKWARMING. NEED I SAY LESS.

You guys will just be chilling watching a movie, and he'll just go like

"Babeeeee... " that's literally all he needs to say bcs you know what he wants.

After some time of just being on his dick it kinda hits you, "I'm on his cock, I could literally do what ever I want... " you think, evily

You'll shift your body around to where you're looking at him and he already knows what's coming, his hands are IMMEDIATELY on your hips

And you start slowly bouncing up and down

Doesn't take him long to start making noises

He's very vocal during sex, he sees no point in staying silent

Plus the first time he moaned super loud during sex you literally came on the spot.

Now he can't help but moan and whimper when you're on top of him because he knows you love it

AFTERCARE KINGG

Usually urges you two to take a shower after sex

Sometimes ends up into shower sex if the both of you still have the energy

You bought a shower stool so you both could fuck in the shower because one time he almost slipped and will NEVER live it down

"IT WAS SUPER SLIPPERY OKAY"

"You stepped on the soap babe... You almost went flying"

Yea a shower stool and those mats for the shower floor

[matan4il]

I just saw with my 2 fucking eyes ST calling Bassem Tamimi a peace activist, the guy who made his child go confront IDF soldiers for clout aand thinks stone throwing - which kills people, including friendly fire between Palestinians - is so cool

Nonnie, I am... You know that thing where you just smile wide, because reality is too much to deal with, and you just have to detach from it for a minute? That's me right now.

I mean, one of the things I've noted over the years is that often, the worst takes from Standing Together's leaders are posted on their personal social media accounts rather than the official ones, which makes it a bit harder to explain why the notion of the movement is great, while what they do in practice is awful and anti-Israeli. So when I got your ask I was wondering on which private account they posted that, but no. They posted it on an official ST account. There is not enough 'face palm' in the world for this.

Bassem Tamimi was arrested in October due to suspicion that he was aiding terrorist activity against Israel. If you ask me, he should have been arrested for child abuse as well, the way he's used his kids, pushing them repeatedly at soldiers to gain clout among the anti-Israel crowd, and praising them when they got arrested for violent terrorist activity. He has also generally encouraged rock throwing terrorist attacks.

The ST post claims that Bassem advocates for non-violent resistance, which is an absolute lie. He supports rock throwing at Israelis, which IS a violent act (funny how for the anti-Israel crowd, Israeli words are violence, but Palestinians throwing rocks at Israelis, which has killed more than once, isn't. For some reason, I have never seen any of the people claiming that rock throwing is a form of non-violent resistance volunteering to be its physical targets, I wonder why. Anyway, reminder that when it comes to non-Israelis, people have no issue calling deaths caused by rock throwing "murder," even when executed by teenagers, or calling out the terrorizing quality of such crimes).

Not to mention that Bassem's own daughter, Ahed Tamimi (who is mentioned in the same ST post as having been arrested by Israel "multiple times", and who the family has actually sent countless times to confront soldiers in order to film her "bravery" when really, that's child abuse) was arrested twice, the first time for physically assaulting a soldier. The second time was after the Hamas massacre, when Ahed posted on social media, promising that Palestinians will slaughter Jews, and that "you will say what Hitler did to you is a joke" in comparison, that Palestinians will drink the blood of Jews and eat their skulls. Yeah, SO non-violent!

Let's also not forget that Bassem's niece, Ahlam Tamimi, was a terrorist who helped carry out the Sbarro restaurant suicide bombing in 2001, a massacre of 16 people (since the Palestinians insist on counting unborn children when pregnant women get killed in the conflict, I think it's only fair Israelis do the same), leaving another person in a vegetative state for over 20 years. Ahlam's interviews from Israeli prison and after she was freed in a hostage deal are some of the most chilling I've ever seen, and this woman is a "journalist" and an icon for the anti-Israel mob, living in and broadcasting from Jordan, allowing her to help poison the minds of the next generation.

Nothing about the arrests of either Bassem (or Ahed or Ahlam) was arbitrary, unlike the claim in that ST post.

I'm just... beyond sickened. Anyway, this will also go under my Standing Together tag for easy reference, if you ever need it.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[blueepink07]

Yuno: her struggling relationship with autonomy

(character analysis)

One aspect I have always loved about media characters is their attempt to be perceived as mature, despite their young age. Some succeed, others struggle to hide what they see as their childish side.

Yuno is no different in this context and I'm surprised that people don't talk about it enough.

Beginning with her age 18, it's truly a controversial age, if I may say. It's a confusing age, because you are technically considered an adult, but, at the same time, your mind is not fully developed to actually be one. In the end, you are still a child at heart and mind, despite the fact that you are legally an adult.

We don't know much of her home life and honestly I don't think it would do any good for me to make assumptions, since it's pointless in the long run and it would just lose credibility. However, one thing it's for sure based on Yuno's actions. She desires autonomy.

Yuno: Despite that, you arbitrarily assumed things about me and sympathized with me. Even though all I did was make a rational decision of my own free will.

I'm the one who chose, let you and you and you all in ~🎵

She highlights quite a lot with these phrases… She chose for herself, she is an adult who willingly decided to partake in compensated dating. Being called naive or innocent, two words that usually are used to describe little children, surely infuriated her… and she shows it.

It's funny now that I think about it. Fuuta also has the same problem, but his reactions are more childish, in the end, not doing him any justice. However, Yuno is no different. Of course, she does it in a more subtle manner, but she really does get worked up quite a lot when it comes to her being perceived more as a teenager than an adult. Her whole song it's literally about this idea. Yuno being infuriated that she is infantilized by the audience, making a sad backstory for her so they can dismiss the idea that there wasn't necessarily a big factor that provoked her to partake in compensated dating, but it's only her own free will.

I might add that the compensated dating itself is a way for Yuno to feel that she has more autonomy and she no longer needs to be treated as a child.

"An adult is a human or other animal that has reached full growth.[1] The biological definition of the word means an animal reaching sexual maturity and thus capable of reproduction." ~ wikipedia

Moreover, even the media promotes the fact that sexual content should strictly be watched by adults. And Yuno does end up having sex during some of these dates…

And if this idea isn't convincing enough… I think that Yuno likes to partake in compensated dating, because she knows the clients don't consider her a child. They are interested in her, in a way that makes Yuno feel satisfied with herself (at least, for a short period of time, when she is in their presence) she feels grown up and mature. She also receives money for her services, providing her with enough financial resources for Yuno to consider that she finally managed to complete one of the first steps of adulthood, to be financially stable.

Doing something that is not really socially accepted, again, can be considered as autonomy, because you do not follow the same rules that the society obligs. Yuno knows how compensated dating is perceived, but she still does it, because she thinks this action provides her "warmth".

The "warmth" that Yuno speaks about is a vague term to describe her desires. Based on her interactions, I would like to think that this term refers to genuineness and mutual understanding. Yuno, in the first VD, describes the society as being a place where "everyone eats each other". People need to point fingers at others who made a mistake, who did something that's not socially accepted to make themselves feel better.

Yuno: That’s right. You know those people who just wanna convince themselves, so they intrude in other people’s affairs even though it’s not their place—I despise them. That’s what I was saying. They only do that to make themselves feel better, don’t they? Those people don’t actually end up doing anything.

And you know what is interesting? The fact that Yuno finds more closure being in the company of some murderers. Why? Because they can also be considered some outcasts of the society that she pretty much dislikes.

Es: However, it also explains why you’ve given up. About yourself, human beings, even the whole of society, you’ve realised everything—that’s why your expression is so cold.

Teenagers usually have little power in our society. They can achieve great things, but have to go through more hardships due to the limited freedom. They need an adult to actually help them. That’s just how society is built.

Yuno's distaste for the society can explain why she has grown so fast, or, at least, thinks that she has matured enough. She was tired of the society inflicting on her rules that she, as a simple teenager, had to oblige. So, going into Milgram, starting to hear people crafting a sob backstory for Yuno, treating her like a child, despite the fact she has already done a few steps in order to sustain herself financially and emotionally as a young adult, it's truly insulting.

Es: This is just popular belief, but the law is also something the people have decided. There’s nothing, which can satisfy every single human being, now is there?

Yuno: That’s right.

However, even after all these, that doesn't mean she doesn't actually struggle with this new found autonomy that she craves.

I actually think that this autonomy is the cause of most of her suffering.

As I stated before, compensated dating is something that she decided to partake in, in order to prove her independence. She thinks that what she has chosen for herself is healing, helping her. But, if it's that the case, then why do we have these scenes?

It's difficult to admit that one of your decisions was actually… Quite wrong. Especially, when it's one of your first one's as an official adult, in the very first stage of your life when you finally have enough independence.

“Cognitive dissonance is what we feel when the self-concept — I’m smart, I’m kind, I’m convinced this belief is true — is threatened by evidence that we did something that wasn’t smart, that we did something that hurt another person, that the belief isn’t true,” said Carol Tavris, a co-author of the book “Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me).”

She added that cognitive dissonance threatened our sense of self.

To reduce dissonance, we have to modify the self-concept or accept the evidence,” Ms. Tavris said. “Guess which route people prefer?”

So which one does Yuno prefer? To convince herself that what she is doing makes her happy.

Yuno: Despite that, you arbitrarily assumed things about me and sympathized with me. Even though all I did was make a rational decision of my own free will.

Yuno: I’m not pitiable. My family gets along super well. And I’m not particularly struggling for money. I decided, of my own free will, to do it because I felt that it was necessary for me.

Sometimes, considering how many times she mentions it, for me it feels like Yuno tries to convince herself that what she is doing is good for her.

But you know what is funny to me?

She is good at making herself enjoyable for others as well as giving somewhat good advice:

Mahiru: My birthday…… the day I was born……But was there really any reason for me being born? Lately I’ve started to wonder that. Do you ever think about stuff like that, Yuno-chan?

Yuno: Eh? Not really. I mean, Mahiru-san, you’re really the romantic type, right? Not that I have anything against that. But isn’t it a bit much to think that everything in life has a meaning? If it makes you happy to think like that then go ahead, but if it doesn’t, then isn’t that in itself meaningless?

Mahiru: : ……you might be right. I’ve always just lived my life like this, so I don’t really know.

Yuno: We’ve all just gone through a bunch of things in life that happened to lead us here. It’s nothing more than a coincidence. Definitely not fate or anything. Probably. Even if there isn’t a meaning, you can still be happy that it’s your birthday. That sort of thing’s all you need in life really. So happy birthday, Mahiru-san.

Mahiru: ……no, I’m fine. As long as I don’t move too much I don’t even feel any pain. Sorry for making you worry.

Yuno: Oh, really? That’s good then. Mahiru-san, if there’s anything you want then just ask. It’s not like it’s a huge burden, I can just ask for it along with my own stuff.

Mahiru: Ok…… I’m fine for now. Sorry, for making you worry. Ah, Yuno-chan…… Today’s your birthday, right? Happy birthday.

Yuno: …Haha, thanks. Thank you, but y’know. Is it really ok for you to be saying that to me when you’re in that situation?... you really aren’t suited for Milgram, huh, Mahiru-san.

Amane: What is it… Kashiki Yuno. Don’t sit so close to me. Go away.

Yuno: Sorry for barging in when you’re getting into your worldview thing. But Mahiru-san’s finally managed to get to sleep. Humour me with some small talk while I take a break. By the way, Amane. Have you ever wished you were never born? I’ve thankfully lived a pretty fun life so far, so haven’t really. But you seem to be struggling with something. So I kinda wondered if you thought like that.

Amane: ……I don’t think that. Being born into this world is the first miracle any person experiences, and is something to celebrate. Even if after birth I was put through trial after trial, the value of that will never disappear.

Yuno: Hmm. Ok…happy birthday, then. It’s good that you were brought into the world, I guess.

But Yuno has a big, and I mean a BIG tendency to self-destruct, not intentionally.

Wanting to be independent comes with its own downfalls. At the beginning of the trial, Jackalope states that Yuno has distanced herself from social interactions. So much so, that we have never seen her actually confiding to someone else, in any of the portal timeline translations. She might have her reasons, either minimizing her problems, and using her energy to help the ones she deems to have worse than her, or, this is simply her nature to bottle up her own sadness. This again might also be the cause of her wanting autonomy and proving to herself and others that she is mature enough to manage her emotions.

Not confiding in someone else for a long time can cause depression. Something that Yuno might be struggling with during trial 3 or she is already struggling with it a bit.

Furthermore, it's interesting that Yuno admits disliking behaviors that she deems childish. For example, she doesn't like the way Haruka and Muu behave, because they are ignorant of the problems in prison and have a really childish way of thinking. Amane's hate towards Shidou, might be often wrongly interpreted as a simple child's tantrum. Kotoko's actions, responding with violence to violence, it's again, an aspect often deemed as childish and immature.

Yuno: Really? If you ask me, Kotoko is someone I would never want to make my friend, though. She’s the type who picks a conclusion from the very beginning and won’t actually talk with you.

Yuno: Well, I guess it’s arbitrary who one gets along with. But Mahiru-san in particular is something. I think both her body and mind are at their limits. Also, Mikoto-san was also attacked but apparently it ended up in something of a draw. That guy was strong, huh—how unexpected. Also Haruka and Muu-chan have become kind of bothersome. And additionally, Amane-chan and Shidou-san too, huh.

Lastly, her second MV also shows her desire of autonomy in Milgram, not only through lyrics, but through visuals too.

Beginning with her door, it looks a lot like a medieval castle door.

Her room, the way it is designed, especially the bed and the chair, also resemble a princess' room.

However:

Despite the important role that princesses played in courtly life, they had limited personal freedom. They were often kept under close guard and were rarely allowed to leave the palace or castle where they lived. This was done to protect them from danger and to prevent them from engaging in political activities that might undermine the authority of the king or prince.

Medieval princesses had little to no autonomy most of the time. Their life was dictated from the start, having the only purpose to be betrothed and give birth to children.

That’s why the design choice is intentional. Yuno feels like a princess trapped in her pretty room (the MV is quite claustrophobic, the only outside elements being a few memories), exposed to the world (the many windows imply this), the voices that keep demonizing her.

That’s why the scene where she starts breaking things in her room is so important. It serves as a sign of rebellion, to show that she is not the perfect, helpless princess that people like to portray her as. She is an adult who makes bad or good decisions, who thinks for herself. She is proud of her autonomy and is tired of constantly proving to others that she is not capable of taking care of herself.

[formulapookie]

don't ask just read idk what's this

ok so I remember a while ago in the Rosquez community there was a wave of angst and we had decided in 2015 after Sepang Marc had lost the baby him and Vale had because of the kick and he never told Vale.

Now.

Migbabol episode comes out. Vale says that thing where he says Marc might have fallen on purpose just to have him penalized, that he's done that intentionally.

And Marc never really recovered completely at a mental level for the loss of the baby because despite everything he had half a thought of keeping it, and even now he's hurt by that loss because he thinks "what could've been".

He usually laughs at Vale's podcasts batshit takes, because come on, who wouldn't?

But this time he doesn't, because in his mind Vale is accusing him of having killed the baby.

And he rationally knows that Vale doesn't mean that because he doesn't even know there was a baby, but his mind just races with it.

And Alex is listening to the episode with him and sees Marc freezing and tears coming because he's till wounded. And he hugs him tight because Alex obviously knew abt the baby, and that it was Vale's and that Marc lost it in Sepang.

Say this week, Misano 2, Vale is there (for RPF reasons he doesn't have children) Marc wins again, Alex comes third, they go out to celebrate, Alex gets a bit too drunk and somehow (say Ducati throws one big party for all its teams) he runs into Vale like in the bathroom.

And oh he's angry. Like so close to punching him in the face he has to remind himself he's in Italy and punching Valentino Rossi be his death sentence.

So he just insults him, tells him he's a terrible person for saying that, that Marc fell on purpose.

And Vale, still not knowing the truth, kinds does his bastard smirk and goes "And why? He could've, he had to get me out the fight somehow"

And Alex sees red, and he just doesn't keep himself in check anymore and tells Vale "He would've never done it on purpose because he was pregnant with your fucking baby, and he wanted to tell you but you went and made him fall, and he lost the baby, the first thing he told me when he came back limping because of the crash was 'Alex we have to be sure the baby is ok', do you get it Rossi? He was more concerned for the baby YOU TWO had on the way than himself, or your fucking championship. He never, never told you because he didn't want to hurt you but I don't give a fuck, you deserve to know how much of a disgusting person you are for saying that. You know, Marc saw the podcast, because every time he's convinced you'll be less of a dick, and when he hard you accusing him of pretending to fall because of the contact he had a breakdown, he didn't eat for three fucking days because he was hurt by the loss once again. So just so you know, that day you killed your child Rossi, and you hurt my brother so much you could've just killed him too. Next time you get a mic think of this, and maybe be less of an asshole"

And Alex leaves, and Vale is just standing there in the bathroom, he isn't smiling anymore, he's practically on the verge of crying, he wants to think this is yet another Marc trick, but then he remembers how one day Marc had thrown up in the morning and woke him up or of how he had placed a hand on his own belly when raising from the gravel after the fall, in the footage he saw thousands of times.

And then Marc comes into the bathroom, and he sees Vale is there, and for a moment there's something like pain in his eyes, and then Vale is closing the distance, grabbing him by the shoulders and looking at him in the eyes with this hurt gaze and just goes "We had a baby?"

And Marc is in shock, there's four people who know, his mother, father, brother and Dovi. And none of the would've told Vale, he asked never to tell.

But he can't hide it, not anymore because he's practically crying. "Yes. We did"

"When?"

"2015, I found out one week before Sepang, I didn't want to distract you so I didn't tell you, I thought about doing it after the race but then you said those things and I didn't"

"Marc did you lose it on track?"

Marc doesn't want to say it, because yes, he did, but still even after all the hurt he doesn't want to accuse Vale of it.

"Marc tell me"

"I - yes. The doctor told me the - the kick and the fall killed it."

Something inside Vale at that point shatters, he wants to punch himself.

"So I - I killed our baby?"

And once again Marc doesn't want to answer, because in his heart he can't accuse Vale of having done this, because despite everything he's STILL in love with him.

So he just looks away and Vale knows it's the truth.

"You should've never known about it, I made them promise they wouldn't tell you"

And Vale is dying inside because what the fuck why does Marc want to protect him from the truth? After all he did?

"But please Vale, I ask you just one thing. Don't say I did it on purpose, the fall, please don't say it again. I didn't, I couldn't have, not normally but especially not with the baby. I though I could've kept it. Take a season off. So please, keep on hating me, say all you want, say to the world I came begging for you the year after but please. Don't say I fell on purpose that day. I'd prefer you telling the world I was with Lorenzo and that's why I made you loose. I'd prefer that but I beg of you don't say I killed our baby on purpose"

And vale is just shocked because Marc is practically telling him he could slaughter him and he didn't care as long as it didn't involve the baby.

And NOW he truly looks at Marc and fucking sees who he's been accusing of being a monster all this time.

And he doesn't know what to do because what exactly should you do when you discover you killed your own baby for greed? And you discover it after years because who knew didn't want to tell you not to hurt you? And you have them right in front of you after accusing him of having killed it themselves?

"Marc if you told me -"

"If I told you back then you would've called me a liar, you would've told me it wasn't yours, that I was sleeping around, that I just got pregnant because I was a whore and kicked me out"

And Vale can't argue because it's true, back then he would've reacted like this.

So he just has to watch as Marc exits the bathroom and he can't say anything anymore and just stays there for God knows how long until one of the boys finds him and drives him back home.

Uh so yes sorry it's a lot but I had to get it out

[yanderehsr]

hey hey hey! hope you're quite well today. if this isn't tiring, then i wonder if you can make a platonic yandere blade, dan heng, himeko, bailu, jingyuan and yanqing with a slightly nahida!reader. like you know, is intelligent despite her age and somewhat knows their yandere behaviour (she can't read people's mind but but she can read people like a book). at first, she was an elusive and secretive individual, also suffered from very low self-esteem as a result of her parents judging her and likes to read books. She almost always maintains a gentle and kind demeanour when she speaks to others, and treats everyone as equals. Her social skills though needs some work and speaks in analogies. if this is too much, then ignores. take care of your health, please.

Holy moly, that's alot of characters😅

Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour, Clingy behaviour, Kidnapping, Murder

Blade: He takes interest in you, you seem to know what he is thinking at all times. It doesn't take long for an obsession to start and you notice it right away. It annoys him that you so easily dodge him and even more that you treat those pests as equals, including your parents.

He kills your parents, infront of you. This is the price of avoiding him. You cry, of course you do, it's your parents that was killed, but Blade smiles. Now you have no choice but to come with him.

"Look at your parents, if you didn't avoid me they would still be alive"

Dan Heng: Will try to manipulate you to his side, he wants to protect you from this cruel world, but you see through every lie and manipulation. If this goes on for too long and he has to return to the astral express, then he would kidnap you during nighttime, you might be smarter then him, but not stronger.

Now Dan Heng has you on the astral express, he lies to the crew, telling them that you're brainwashed by your 'abusive' parents. Normal people wouldn't believe this, but the crew has seen so many strange things that they accept this. All of this just so he could protect you.

"Just know that this is for your safety, the world is far too cruel for someone like you"

Himeko: Already has adoption papers, wait what do you mean you already have parents. She finds you cute, and you are just so smart, you are everything she ever wanted in a child. But her dreams shatter so easily, you had parents and while a bit strict, they were good people.

Too bad that their child had a yandere after them. While Himeko is away from you all she can do is think about what you're doing, if you're eating well and getting the right amount of sleep. She will take you onboard the train, sure you notice that something is wrong but it is too late, the train is already leaving your planet.

"Don't look so sad, now come on, you may call me mother"

Bailu: 2 increadibly smart children that are childhood friends, she always takes time out of the day to spend time with her friend. Hell, she might even stop an emergency treatment just to spend time with you.

You notice early that Bailu's friendship is toxic, but you try to fix her, surely she isn't too far beyond saving. Well you knew the answer when you woke up, chains binding your wrists as she cuddles into you. All you did was spend time with another of your friends, but Bailu misunderstood and thought you were replacing her, and now were here.

"You can't leave me, you are MY friend and mine alone"

Sorry but I cut out Jing Yuan and Yanqing, I never thought that someone would request so many characters. I'll just add a new rule to the rule list

[thatonebirdwrites]

Book

(Part of Lena's POV from Coffee) Follow-up to L-Corp, Chill, and Scotch (Lena's POV), Catco and Family (Kara's POV), Kara and Heat, Plumerias and Ink and Aura

Hospital time exists outside of real time. Lena finds the days fold into each other, like origami, each design needlessly complicated mess. The pain simmers like an old friend, while the other symptoms irritate her. Sitting upright is difficult, and the dizziness exacerbates her sense of unreality.

Plus the unrelenting nausea from the medicines has her not wanting to eat anything.

But Sam, Kara, and Kelly won't stand for that. Nor will her nurses. So she drinks the broths and meal-replacement drinks, snacks on the frozen fruit pops, and tolerates the crummy decaffeinated tea.

She's certain she'd lose her mind if it weren't for the steady stream of books.

The one Kara reads to her she keeps on the bedside table for that is their thing now. It surprises her how much she enjoys Kara's reading voice, and the unique voices she gives each character is utterly delightful. She should ask Kara to come read for the kids at the Luthor Children's Hospital. They'd likely adore it.

So for the times when she's alone and not sleeping or taken for wheelchair 'walks,' she reads whatever the technicians find in the meager hospital library. Most are romances, which aren't her cup of tea, so she urges them to seek out any other genre.

Which is why she's reading about the origins of corn today. She expects it to be bland, but instead, she finds herself engrossed in the vivid prose, each description almost like poetry. The writer is an Indigenous woman who gardens for a living, and her storytelling prowess amazes Lena. She also reminds her of Kara due to how easily excited and fervent her prose becomes when digging deep into the history of corn and its interactions with humanity.

She's so engrossed that she misses the knock on her door at first.

"Ms. Luthor?"

She looks up, confused. The person in her doorway isn't any of the nurses or technicians that she's seen so far. Instead, they are dressed in what looks oddly like pastor garments. Their skin a deep mahogany, and their eyes a brown so dark that it blends with the black of their pupils.

"Yes?" She does not like religious people. So why one stands in her doorway irritates her.

"I was asked to stop by." The person smiles and takes a step closer. "I'm Chaplain Grove, they/them pronouns, and an agnostic. I'm here for those that aren't religious but may wish to have someone to help process their stay."

Lena blinks and tucks her bookmark into the book. She adjusts her bed with the controls so she's sort-of sitting upright. It makes her body ache and her chest hurt, but the numbing meds in the IV cools her arm and helps control the pain.

"I asked for you? When?" She searches her memory, but the unreality of time in the hospital makes it very hard to be certain of the day or when events transpire. She notes the clock, and how it's still an hour before Kara shows up.

At first that knowledge made her anxious. Now she years for it. Kara's presence grounds her, comforts her, and it honestly terrifies her how she's already fallen back into Kara's gravity well.

She has no sense of self-preservation when it comes to that blonde alien.

Grove nods. "You asked to talk with someone about your situation."

"Oh." That's right. The nurse last night, after the nightly meds, asked if she needed anything, and she'd replied, "I think I need an outside opinion about my situation. Someone who doesn't know me."

They pull a chair closer and lean forward, their hands clasped over their knees. "What is it you need?"

She might as well roll with this. "Someone I love deeply hurt me. Lied to me about their..." she can't outright say alternate identity, so she settles for something mundane, "... side job. I know it's a dangerous one, but still. It hurt."

"Your partner?" they ask.

Why is everyone calling Kara that? Lena probably should correct people, but part of her desperately wants it to be true. But that requires more trust than Lena knows how to give.

So she nods and just goes with it.

Maybe this bubble will burst when she leaves the hospital, and she'll have to reckon with the reality of their shattered friendship (relationship?). She's too tired, too in pain to think about that now. She wants the comfort, the grounding, the solidity of Kara's presence.

As much as Kelly and Sam's presence helps ground her too, it's not the same.

"Have you talked with her about how you feel?" The Chaplain asks.

"Yes, before my hospitalization." If their gazebo talk counts as that. "She apologized, promised to be honest, and do better."

"And has she?"

The question stops Lena's thoughts entirely. Has Kara done so?

She thinks through the conversations they've had since Kara's confession at the Pulitzer's. Thinks of how open Kara has been about all aspects of herself. Thinks of the tentative stories Kara shares about her childhood on Krypton, stories she admits she's been too fearful to tell anyone, even Alex. How honest she'd been about the need to hide, and how difficult it is to break those habits.

Little bits and pieces that slip out during her visiting hours.

"Yes, yes, she has." Surprise fills her, and a surge of yearning that brings tears to her eyes. "It's hard to trust her still."

"What's stopping you?"

"I..." she frowns. What is indeed? "Fear I guess."

Chaplain Grove nods. "That's a common motivator. It can be hard to push past it. Do you want to trust her again?"

"Yes, yes, so much so." The word spills out fervently, the desire for Kara so intense that Lena has to briefly close her eyes. God, she's hopeless, isn't she?

"Then why not choose to trust her? I know it sounds easy to say, but often the act of choosing can help build that foundation of trust. By choosing to trust, by choosing to try again, by choosing to be present, trust begins to grow again. So again, what's stopping you?"

Damn, this dude is good. She doesn't know what to say in response to that. So she settles for a simple reply. "You've given me a lot to consider. Thank you. I'd like to think it over alone now."

They smile. "Do you need anything else?" When she shakes her head, they stand and adjust their vest. "Then I'll let you rest. If you need me again, don't hesitate to ask."

Lena lifts her hand in a farewell, and watches them leave. The silence wraps around her, and the chaplain's words dance through her thoughts.

Choosing to trust. She knows it's never that easy.

With a sigh, Lena places her book on the side table and lowers the bed to an one-hundred and sixty degree angle. Much easier on her chest and back.

She looks up at the speckled ceiling, a drab white, and glances around the room at the paintings of waterfalls and mountains. Outside her window a palm tree moves in the breeze, and she sees the wing of the other side of the hospital.

She thinks of her talk with Kelly yesterday during her visit.

"How are you feeling today?" Kelly settles into the chair by her bed. She has a bag with her, and she pulls out knitting supplies to keep her hands busy.

"Pain, exhaustion. Irritation. Nothing new. What about you?" The way Kelly keeps their conversations simple helps Lena cope. She doesn't want complications right now. She's too sick and scared.

Kelly sighs. "I relate to the exhaustion and irritation. Alex and I had an argument about the lies she's done in regards to Kara and her work."

"Oh." Lena winces. She's partially responsible for that since she'd outed Kara to Kelly. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's all right." Kelly waves her hand at Lena with a smile. "We talked it out last night. I understand she couldn't tell me about Kara without permission, and Kara's need to hide is... a need of hers." She starts a new row of whatever she's knitting, the yarn a beautiful blend of violet, red, and turquoise. "Alex admits that part of that drive to hide is her and her mother's fault. They wanted to protect Kara. Apparently the government found out where she was as a teenager, and tried to take her away for training."

Lena's eyes widen. That sounds creepily like what her brother did with Red Daughter. "Did they?"

Kelly shakes her head. "Alex's father offered himself instead. Alex didn't get into specifics. There's a lot of trauma there."

Lena rests her hands on her stomach and looks at the ceiling. "Gives more context to it all," she says after a long silence.

"Yeah, it certainly does."

"Do -- do you forgive Alex for her lies?" Lena's not sure exactly what she's asking, but she needs to know Kelly's answer.

Kelly studies her for a long moment, her fingers deftly moving along. The clatter of the knitting needles roots Lena in the present far more than she cares to admit.

"Yes. It's not easy, but that's part of loving someone. We both apologized, we both sought repair, and we'll do better." She smiles and pauses her work to lightly touch Lena's hand. "This is what worked for me, so don't feel like you must do the same."

Lena smiles grateful for Kelly's words, but truthfully, she wants to forgive Kara. She wants things to be okay. She's tired of being angry.

She's facing death yet again, but this time it's slow and painful. Where each day feels like it might be her last. Where sometimes her breaths are so labored, her heart pulsing with pain, that the alarm of the EKG beeps a honing signal for Lady Death to visit.

But then nurses come and stabilize her, and she's wrapped once again in that timeless haze of this drawn-out healing regimen.

She's under no illusion that if Kara and Sam had not intervened, she would be dead.

The memory of Kelly's talk coupled with the Chaplain's words tangle together in Lena's mind. It feels almost like the universe itself is telling her to trust Kara.

The more she considers the situation, the more she sees how much of a pedestal she'd placed on Kara. She'd assumed perfection, placed far too much expectations on Kara, which was bound to explode at some point, regardless of Lex's meddling. That isn't fair to anyone.

Yes, Kara hurt her. Yes, trusting her again is terrifying.

But her actions since the confession proves that Kara is trying to be better. Lena can see that now; funny how being ill gives her a clarity she failed to have prior.

A knock sounds on her door again, and this time when it opens, it's Kara.

Her beautiful, lovely, and often frustrating love. She's wearing black slacks, suspenders, and a button-down violet shirt. Downright illegal handsome, especially with her hair pulled back in a ponytail.

"Hey," Kara says, nervously. "How are you feeling?"

Lena reaches out her hand. The urge to touch Kara, to feel her warmth under her fingers overwhelms her.

"Why not choose to trust her?" The chaplain's words echo in her head, followed by Kelly's "...that's part of loving someone..."

Kara scoots the chair close to her bed and grasps her hand. Lena tugs until she's even closer, and presses Kara's hand against her heart.

Since her confession, Kara's followed through on each promise, has been almost brutally honest at times, and here she is, faithfully coming every day for hours at a time. She's Supergirl, and yet she puts her Catco job, Supergirl, and all her duties aside for Lena.

Lena knows she's staring. She sees how Kara shifts and the blush that blooms on her face.

A smile curves her lips. "I'm glad you're here," she says quietly and finds she means it.

The hospital is less scary, less daunting when Kara is here. Sam may hold back the dread with her jokes and tales, but Kara's presence melts into Lena like water saturating her dehydrated cells.

A literal sunbeam and golden retriever rolled into one, and Lena finds that she can't stay away. Doing so nearly killed her.

Choose to trust?

Okay, she will then. As terrifying as that is.

***

The chaplain visits four more times, partly due to Kelly's advice. "They're trained in therapy too. Some of my cohorts ended up as chaplains. The other option is to ask for a psychologist, but they often can be more formal. I highly recommend either."

Lena trusts Kelly's expertise, so she asks for the chaplain. Each visit is only thirty minutes, but she finds, to her shock, that talking about her emotions help.

It's a novel idea.

Not a new one. Sam has been on her for years to attend therapy. She has no intention of telling her of this development since Sam is already insufferable enough.

But Sam notices the change anyway.

"You sure are calm, despite being locked up in this room," Sam says one evening. Lena's not sure which day of the stay, that timelessness of the hospital is as present as always.

"Hardly locked up," Lena drawls. "I just am too ill to move much."

"Do you walk at all?" Sam leans forward, and digs her elbows into Lena's bed to prop up her head. "Because I read laying for long periods isn't good for your muscles."

"Yes, the nurses have a physical therapist come by to work with me." Lena rolls her eyes. "I'm being cared for, Sam."

"Good. You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you seem more at peace with yourself." Sam smiles, but her forehead still has that crinkle of concern. "Who would have thought a hospital stay would bring you peace."

"Forced rest does wonders to the spirit," Lena says.

"Then perhaps we'll work in forced rest periods into your work hours," Sam jokes with a grin. "It'll be the Lena Luthor Rest Hour."

Lena weakly swats Sam, but she smiles. If this stay has taught her anything, it's drilled home how important rest is for one's body. How she's not a machine but a human with weaknesses and strengths.

And having a human body means rest as much as she loathes how it breaks into her productivity.

It hits her then.

"It's a Luthor trait to keep going despite the pain," Lena says, slowly. "I was taught productivity and efficiency is what matters the most. But that's not right at all. Love matters the most. I wouldn't be here if not for the love you and Kara have for me." She looks at Sam and tears sting her eyes. "Thank you."

Sam gently rests her hand over Lena's. "Of course. You're family."

Family.

Such a confusing premise, but Lena's starting to understand what family can be. Warmth, comfort, love, laughter, tears, grief, and trusting others to have her back.

It's something she's deeply wanted for so long, and she finds it here with Sam, with Kara, and with Kara's friends.

Sure, the lies hurt still, but no one is perfect. Even someone who loves her can fuck up, just as she messes up too. Perfection is unattainable, and she's learning to be okay with that.

Maybe choosing to trust isn't as hard as she thought.

***

Lena finds herself falling each time Kara visits. Not physically falling, but more falling deeper into love.

She's given herself permission to tentatively trust that Kara means it when she says she'll do better. That opens a door somewhere in Lena's heart, and she finds that she can't look away when Kara's at her side.

She wants to map Kara's face with her eyes, to capture this moment in perfect detail in her memory. The warmth of Kara's hand in her own as she holds it against her heart seeps through Lena's spirit.

Kara doesn't have to do this. She doesn't have to come faithfully, and yet she does. She's always done this. Always thrown aside her duties whenever Lena was in need.

The lies hurt, yes, but the warmth of these other memories began to break that hurt down. To repurpose it into the growing trust foundation. She thinks of the Japanese style of using gold to seal cracks in ceramic vessels. She's mending the cracks with Kara.

Learning about Kara's mind-healing sessions melts more gold into the cracks of their foundation. It's evidence that Lena didn't realize she needed to witness.

So shouldn't Lena try to be better for Kara too? Isn't that part of loving someone?

Her eyes rove over Kara's face, the tan of her skin, the golden locks that curl in perfect ringlets, her soft features, and the light she emits by simply being Kara.

God, she loves her so much. Those months making herself scarce had been torture, and now, as she struggles to heal from Endocarditis, she's caught up in the gravity well of Kara's gentle and loving support.

Kara had been the one to alert Sam, and now Lena has a fighting chance to beat this infection of the heart. It's almost poetic in a way, that of all her organs it's her heart impacted the most.

"Do I have something on my face?" Kara blushes and fiddles with her glasses.

Lena laughs. She can't help it. Kara is adorable when she's flustered. "Just your glasses."

Healing may be painful at times, but it also wraps her in a joy and fervent hope. One she's never allowed herself to ever feel prior. She's always been waiting for everything to crash down on her head, for the good to be taken from her.

And yet, Kara, Sam, and the others haven't left. Her brother tried to steal this all from her by ripping into her insecurities and fears in the worst way.

And yet, despite it all, despite the horror of what she's done, she's not alone. Kara is still here.

Lena wants to kiss her. (She doesn't.)

***

When Kara comes the next day, Lena has finished yet another book. This one a silly mystery, where she'd guessed the twist halfway through the book. But it passes the time.

Lena's restless. Tired of the same walls, but she's too ill to handle siting up for long, and the antibiotics side effects exhaust her.

On days when the symptoms are less, she sits in the reclining chair by the window. Birds like to build nests in the palm trees outside, and watching them brings her a quiet comfort.

The doctor's visit yesterday had alarmed Kara. Lena could see that, but it's no surprise that the infection is stubborn. Much like Lena herself.

She suspects this will end with surgery, and she knows how much Kara fears that. She'd been uncharacteristically wild in her tone, her eyes wide with fear, during the doctor's discussion about test results and Lena's condition.

So today, Lena holds out her hand and pulls Kara close, until the chair is pushed against her bed. She reaches out to gently run her hand through Kara's locks. She wore them down, likely due to Supergirl duties before this visit.

Kara studies her, intently, a quizzical look on her face.

Lena's fingers trail down Kara's cheek to her chin. She's not sure how to comfort Kara. Such things don't come easy for her, and with how ill she feels, she can't do much more than offer words and touch.

"You're here," she murmurs. The words inadequately sum up her thoughts. "We're both here."

"Yes?" Kara is still, as if afraid to disturb her. Her blue eyes are dark, and her tongue licks her lips so swiftly that Lena wonders if she imagines it.

She runs her thumb over Kara's lips, and feels the moisture there. "Time seems suspended here," she says, softly. "Days blend into one another. The sun rises and sets, and yet I'm still here. You keep saving me."

They've spoken of this before, but she can't help it. She's had far too much time to think over her life while stuck in this hospital room. The antibiotics certainly add to that surreal feeling, with how woozy they make her feel.

"I always will." Kara's gaze sears the air between them, and Lena wants to grab Kara's shirt, tug her closer, and kiss her.

But she's still too weak. So she runs her thumb over Kara's lips instead. Kara doesn't stop her.

"You're gorgeous, you know?" Lena whispers.

The blush decorates Kara's cheeks, and she sucks in a breath. The expelled air warm against Lena's fingers.

"It's cute how flustered you get with compliments," Lena says, dryly. She can't hide her smile, especially as Kara's blush deepens.

"Lena," Kara whines, but says nothing more.

Lena rubs her thumb over Kara's cheek, and thinks of how this grounds her and distracts her far more than pain meds and reading books.

For Kara is a book in of herself. Her pages on display for Lena to read, her stories rich with details now that they are fully honest with each other. With Kara, she can read forever, never tiring of the tale, never wanting to put the book down.

She holds Kara's story in her hands, and she wants nothing more than to delve into its prose, to mine it for the wonder of Kara's indomitable spirit and her endless trove of knowledge.

Each page turned, each moment shared, spills yet more gold into the cracks, and Lena feels full of hope and love.

Does she write upon Kara's heart in turn? Is their growing relationship transcribing a shared story between them? Is this what partnership is like?

All of her care team calls Kara her partner, and Lena finds she likes it. She likes it far more than she should.

Is this partnership forged because Lena's ill? Because she's in the hospital? Will it stay once she recovers and can return home?

She doesn't want to let it go.

Tears sting her eyes. Wetness dampens her cheeks. Kara's hand wipes away her tears.

"I'm here," Kara says, gently. "You're not alone."

Lena presses her face into Kara's hand.

Trust grows when the ground is fertile. This timeless hospital stay fertilizes the ground, pushes Lena to face her mortality, and she knows that Kara deserves so much more than Lena.

And yet, Kara is here anyway.

An open book that unfurls more stories each day. Each glimpse into Kara's Kryptonian heritage draws Lena closer, each memory of her Earth years sparks Lena's curiosity. Each time Kara turns the questions on Lena, and tentative she shares her own stories.

It goes against her instincts, and yet, she understands Kara's fear of loss, her need to hide. Hasn't she too hidden herself behind an impenetrable wall of ice? Yet, Kara's light melts the ice.

Will she survive this infection? Lena doesn't know, and tries to be realistic. So why not allow herself this guilty pleasure?

She's trying, and Lena can do no less.

"I know," she says. "You've always been here."

That truth transcribes across both their hearts.

***

Being under anesthesia is not a pleasant experience. Lena wakes groggy, confused, and afraid. Her heart aches, and her vision blurry, her glasses and contacts somewhere else. She feels along her blankets, touches the railings of the bed, and the cold metal grounds her. The lights are dim but still too bright.

The fear slowly abates. She's in the hospital. That's right, and she's recovering from something. It takes longer for the thought to coalesce into the word 'surgery.'

That's right. A surgery happened.

Her last memory was the anesthesiologist explaining each of his actions, while he administers the dose. The surgeon and nurses are all dressed in their blue surgery garments, gloves, and masks, their hair tucked up into the blue hats and hair nets.

Now she lays on her hospital bed in a large room full of other patients. Nurses and other specialists flutter between beds.

One of them stops by her bed. "Waking up?" The nurse sits down next to her. "Can you tell me your name?"

Lena blinks at the man, his skin a deep amber, and his eyes a warm hazel. "Lena," she manages, her throat dry. "Kieran Luthor."

"Good. Do you know what year it is?"

She's confused. Why is he asking? "2020..."

"Great." The nurse smiles. "Would you like something to drink? We can offer some apple juice or water."

"Juice please. Where exactly am I? Did -- did the surgery go..." She's a little dizzy still.

"You're in recovery. We need to watch over you until the anesthesia is fully out of your system." The nurse adjusts the blood pressure cuff and slides the oxy-meter onto her finger. He writes something on a clipboard by her bed. "Surgery went well. Once you've recovered more, the doctor will speak to you."

That's a relief. Lena briefly closes her eyes. Her mind flutters to Kara, and she pictures Kara's affectionate smile, the warmth of her body, and the kindness in her words. She opens her eyes and blinks away the floaties.

"Where's Kara?"

"Your partner?" Even the recovery nurses call her that. Huh.

"Yeah." She really shouldn't be encouraging this, but she can't help herself. She wants strong but gentle arms to hold her close. To warm her and remind her that she's alive. She wants Kara at her side, and that yearning pierces through the haze on her mind.

"She's waiting at your room. We don't normally allow visitors back here." The nurse pats her hands. "Let me get your juice."

She watches him walk toward the counters at the back of the room. Her memory sizzles with fog, but that's slowly starting to lift. Her thoughts start to come easier.

When he returns with the juice and a drinking straw, she gratefully sips, the cool liquid soothing her throat.

She's left alone again, but only brief as the nurse comes by to take her vitals again. It's a procedure that she's grown used to in her long stay here, and she moves her arm the way the nurse needs to get the most accurate readings.

No clocks within vicinity, which means she has no idea what time it is or even the exact day. She sips her juice as her mind slowly reclaims itself from the haze of anesthesia.

Once again, time sneaks away from her.

The ceiling is painted a light blue with white clouds, and the air has a sterile scent. Soft, pleasant music hums in the background.

"Ms. Luthor?" The surgeon steps up to her bedside. He's back in a white lab coat, with his blue mask still on his face. His hair is slicked back in a ponytail, his skin a deep tan. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," she says. "Less pain."

He smiles. "Good. The surgery was a success. We cleared the pustules and repaired your valve. I recommend taking it easy for the next few weeks. Rest is your friend here. Your heart needs more time to heal."

"Okay." Lena figures that rest will be her life for the next few months. Between Sam and Kara, they'll keep her to that. "What else do I need for recovery?"

"I'll speak with your primary doctor, but I do recommend physical and occupational therapy. You'll need to ease back into exercise, and both can assist with that transition." He makes a notation on the clipboard. "Any other questions?"

Normally she'd unleash a dozen or so, but she's tired still and the haze has only recently lifted. "No, thank you."

"Okay. If you have any, ask your nurse, and we'll come by to chat again." He looks over the equipment recording her vitals and heartbeat. "Looking good. Would you like to see your partner now?"

Lena nods. "Yes, please."

"I'll have the nurses wheel you to her. We'll need to supervise you a few more days, but if things continue to improve, you'll be home soon enough." He clips the pen back the clipboard and pats her shoulder awkwardly. "Take care, Ms. Luthor. A nurse will be by shortly."

She's not sure why she assumed 'wheel' meant a wheelchair, but she's only a trifle disappointed when the 'wheeling' means the entire bed. For the ride, she tilts the bed to an angle that lets her sort of sit up. Not a full ninety degrees, but an easier one-hundred and fifty degrees.

The trip from the recovery suite to her old hospital room has far too much bright lights, and Lena closes her eyes against the glare.

She opens them when she hears Kara's lovely voice call, "Lena! Oh, gosh, you're okay." Kara stands in her room with Sam. Both stood from where they'd been waiting by the window.

"Hi." Lena lifts a hand in greeting. The technician lines up her bed and rehooks the vitals -- the EKG, oxy-meter, blood pressure cuff, and IV.

"If you have any questions or need something, let us know." The technician nods at Sam and Kara. He places the controls by Lena's hand. "The doctor will be by later. Rest."

After he leaves, Lena takes a steadying breath. "I survived," she says with a hint of pride. The pain simmers still, but it doesn't diminish her relief at finally seeing the end point of this journey.

"You sure did," Sam says, tears in her eyes. "You really need to stop scaring the shit out of us, Lena."

"And leave you complacent?" Lena drawls. "Better to keep you on your toes."

"Lena..." Kara tentatively reaches for her hand, but hesitates.

That won't do. Lena didn't just survive a heart infection for Kara to hesitate.

She grasps Kara's hand and tugs her closer. Her own hand trembles too much, but that's okay. Recovery takes time. She presses Kara's hand over her heart and smiles.

"I'm so glad you're going to be okay," Kara says, tearfully.

"This one was losing her mind waiting." Sam drops back into the armchair. "Almost used up my entire Dad joke catalog. Going to have to devise new ones now."

"I can't wait," Lena says sarcastically. Sam's Dad jokes are the worst, but that's part of Sam's charm.

"She's beating me at them," Kara says with a slight pout. "I tried to come up with some, but she had two to every one of mine."

"A dad joke contest?" Lena doesn't know whether to laugh or roll her eyes at their ridiculousness.

Sam laughs. "Oh yes. Next time, we'll have you and Ruby judge us. Whoever loses has to buy the snacks for the other."

"What?" Kara looks at Sam, mortified. "No way. You'll just buy me healthy snacks. I've seen what you and Ruby eat."

Sam shrugs. "Then don't lose."

Lena can't help it. She laughs. It makes her chest ache. Tears stings her eyes, and an immense gratitude and wonder saturates her. "What would I do without you two?"

"Be extremely bored," Sam says.

"I won't even entertain that," Kara says, firmly. "Life without you is dull and sad."

Lena softens. She's seen what she's like without Kara, and she doesn't ever want to go back to that. She lifts her other hand and tenderly touches Kara's cheek. "Then I'm glad you're here."

The blush tinging Kara's cheeks makes her want to kiss her, but instead she runs her thumb along Kara's lips. Kara kisses her thumb, and Lena feels it through her body.

"You two," Sam says, breaking the moment. "No wonder everyone here keeps using 'partner' for Kara."

She drops her arm as heat warms her face and neck. "Yeah..." she has no idea how to explain to Sam. She didn't know Sam had noticed that.

"And you two just went with it?" Sam glances at the two of them.

"Um... well," Kara sputters. "I just am following Lena's lead, and uh, it's nice?"

"Just nice, huh?" Lena says as she smiles.

Kara flushes again, the red deeper. "Well, uh, more than that, you know, I mean..." she trails off and rubs her thumb over Lena's palm.

"Red looks good on you," Lena teases.

That earns her Kara's characteristic whine. "Lenaaaa...."

"God, you two are sickening." Sam shakes her head. "Here I am, showing up for my best friend, and you're flirting like teenagers in front of my soup."

"You don't have any soup?" Kara says, confused.

Lena chuckles. Her eyes droop shut, the day catching up to her, and she tugs Kara closer so she can wrap her arms around more of Kara's arm. The warmth seeps through her.

Yes, today marks the start of a new chapter. Lena is glad that Kara and Sam are here to help her write it.

[mrsshabana]

honestly i need a story time about the cult? also the link to that podcast, im intrigued now lol

𝐌𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭

Ok children gather around. It's story time 🤓

Note: Now I won't provide a link because I talk about a lot of personal stuff including my name and location, and I don't want so many people having access to that. But I don't mind telling my story here.

Content warning: Mentions of religious trauma and eating disorders

Ok, so let me set the scene. I was 18 and moved out of my parents' house. I lived in a ghetto apartment near my university where I was studying art.

Now when I moved out my parents stopped talking to me. So I really felt alone, I had no family, no friends, and I was in a new place so I was very desperate to have a connection with someone. So really I was the perfect victim for a cult because I was vulnerable.

One day I was walking out of the mathematics building when a student stopped me and asked me if I would like to read the bible with her. She was a Korean international student and she was really nice so I was like sure why not. Now at this point, I wasn't super religious but I did consider myself a Christian. But I never knew the bible very well and my family was the kind of family that only went to church on easter and Christmas.

So anyway, I read the bible with her and she explained it to me. The way she explained the passage was insinuating that there was a female version of god. That was something I had never heard of before but it was interesting to me so I decided to come with her to her bible study.

Long story short it ended up being this organization called "The World Mission Society Church of God." I went to their church and spent hours with them every Wednesday and Saturday because they made me feel accepted. They welcomed me and became like my family which I didn't have at the time.

Something I really loved about them was that their church was so diverse. There were so many different kinds of people there, I really felt welcome. Because growing up churches seemed so segregated. I'm biracial, my mom is white and my dad is black so growing up we either went to the white church or the black church. And at both I felt like people would stare at me and my family and that I wasn't welcome there.

So it felt really nice to have such a diverse church where I felt truly welcomed. Anyway, I ended up making a lot of friends there and I stayed with them for about 6 months. Then I figured out they were actually a cult. It's a long story but I won't go into it because this isn't even the main part yet.

After leaving the World Mission Society I felt really lonely again because I lost the only friends and sense of belonging I had. But I had to just keep going.

Maybe about 3 months later this random Korean guy approached me on campus and he asked me if I'd like to participate in a survey thing about the bible. I was skeptical at first because my previous church had told me that every Korean person was a part of their church. (Which obviously is NOT true). But my mind was thinking, "Oh no, what if they are trying to get back to me."

But I decided that it's not right to assume that this man is a part of that cult just because he's Korean. So I agreed to participate in this survey and I gave him my phone number.

Basically, a professor was writing a book where she'd answer people's most common questions about the bible. And she was surveying students to collect questions for the book. It sounded pretty cool to me so I was very interested.

I met up with the professor at a Starbucks on campus and I answered her questions about things I've always wondered about the bible. We'll call this lady Anya.

During our meeting, I expressed to Anya how I felt discarded by god because of my previous cult experience. I felt like I wasn't worthy of his love and I was very ashamed of what I did. Because we would literally pray to a human man who claimed to be god. After leaving I knew that wasn't true, and I figured god no longer loved me for what I did.

Anya was so encouraging and kind. She told me that is it 100% untrue, and that god does love me. That he put me through that experience for a reason and it only made me stronger.

Then she offered to do some bible study lessons with me so I could learn things the right way and start to feel a little bit better about my situation. And of course, I agreed. I was desperate to redeem myself and make friends again.

So I started going to this bible study once a week. Which turned to twice a week. Which turned into me going to some woman's house to have lessons. We'll call this woman Cara.

Cara was from Korea and so was her husband, they were extremely nice and welcomed me into their home. They would feed me ramen and cool snacks, and I honestly felt like a part of their family. There were lots of people in this bible study too and I made a ton of friends.

So fast forward, I had been studying the bible with them for about a year now. And nothing crazy, I was learning about the parables of the bible and the meanings of all those things in the bible that make no sense. It was very informative and interesting but nothing outlandish.

They sit us down for this big "reveal" about who the 2nd coming of Jesus is. Now they hyped it up so much and they told us that we can't judge this person no matter what. This whole time I thought it was going to be someone crazy like Kanye West or something. But no, it was an old Korean man.

He seemed unassuming enough? I had never heard of him so I didn't know why they made such a big deal out of it.

Now at this point, you are probably thinking, "Why the hell would you fall for this again?" Listen, trust me I was frustrated with myself when I left but you have to understand these people love-bombed me when I had no one. They became my family when I had none. They lied to me for an entire year so I'd trust them and get close to them before they revealed who they really were.

And they were a church called Shincheonji.

And I had no problem accepting this because these people had been my family and my best friends for an entire year. They'd feed me, watch movies with me, do anything to help me out. So I trusted them wholeheartedly. But really I was just being brainwashed.

So after I found out that they were Shincheonji they put me in their group for advanced students. And I'd begin studying multiple times a week at Cara's house and Anya was always there too. I would join the twice-weekly sermons via zoom as well. Where one of the Korean tribe leaders would give a sermon about something. I was in the Mathias tribe by the way, though that doesn't really matter.

I would do so so much with them, we even all went on a road trip to Houston where the other branch was. They even got me a birthday cake and surprised me for my birthday too. It was honestly great, and I loved them a lot.

We were basically encouraged to recruit as many people as we can because if we don't they will go to hell. They put so much pressure on us for this. They'd say things like, "Don't you want to save them?" And I am a very empathetic person so I felt like omg I want to save everyone! But on the other hand, ever since I joined Shincheonji my anxiety and depression went through the roof. The pressure to save the entire world is a lot for a 21-year-old girl. So I never recruited anyone myself because I didn't want them to have to struggle with the same mental health issues I did when I joined.

I also had some physical health issues arise as well. Their teachings would always preach how "The word of god is all the food we need." How spiritual food was more important than physical food. And that really stuck with me, especially when I got food poisoning and I couldn't eat solid food for two weeks. Something about not eating made me feel good. Like I didn't even need food because the word of god was enough, so why not just not eat at all? Not eating felt like the only thing I could control, so I clung to it. And I became anorexic. Being with Shinchenji was the only time I was ever considered underweight.

Anyway, I have so many crazy stories to tell about my time with them but I'll save those for another day.

I had been with them for about two and a half years before I started to question things.

We got a new teacher from Korea to replace Cara because she was going to have a baby. And this new teacher was a lot different and a lot less loving and nurturing than Cara had been.

She had said some things that I didn't agree with, and it started putting some doubt in my mind.

Ok so, on a side note I used to work at the library at my school doing data entry in the basement. And I would listen to podcasts a lot throughout the day as I did my work.

One day I found an interesting podcast about cults, where the host would bring cult victims onto the show and they'd tell their story. Well I was listening to an episode about the Moonies and I thought to myself, "Huh, they sound very similar to Shincheonji in some ways..."

But I knew I could not think such thoughts and that if I did any research then the devil would poison me through the internet. And I needed to strengthen my spirit for even thinking of such a thing.

So I went to reddit, and I found a subreddit called r/Shincheonji. I was like, "Oh yes! Now I can talk to other Shincheonji members and we can strengthen each other's faith!"

But it wasn't a subreddit for believers. It was a subreddit for ex-members and people who were against Shincheonji.

And at this point, I had already seen enough to plant that seed of doubt in me. I read more and more even though Shincheonji warned me I'd be poisoned if I ever researched them. But I couldn't stop myself.

I went through so much inner turmoil, you guys have no idea. My reality was crumbling so hard and I felt like my world was ending. It's hard to explain, but I was so indoctrinated and brainwashed by this point. This really ruined me.

I had to mourn the loss of all of the family and friends I gained these past years. I would cry almost every night because I missed them, and it was so hard to accept that they never truly loved me at all. To be honest, I still think about some of them to this day and I hope they got out and found peace in their lives.

No one in my life had known I was a part of Shincheonji. My closest friends nor my family, who had slowly started talking to me again. But I had to tell someone so I told my childhood best friend, we'll call him Blaine.

I got in a Playstation party with Blaine and I just cried. I cried so so much, and he was so confused. But eventually, I told him everything. And he was really supportive and gave me no judgment at all.

My main issue was, how could I leave? I have quite literally been living a double life this entire time and not having that scared the shit out of me. But Blaine advised me to cut them off completely and just leave without saying anything. Because his concern was that if they got the chance to talk to me, they would most certainly be able to pull me back in. And I know them well enough to know this is true. So that's exactly what I did, I left and went cold turkey. I even went as far as changing my work schedule too.

And here's where things get creepy.

I hadn't spoken to them for about a week now, and I'm at work. I'm working as usual in the basement on the computers and low and behold, three girls walk in. Girls from my cult, girls that I was close to.

Now students aren't allowed to just waltz into this room so they had some big balls to do that. But the weird thing was, I had completely changed my schedule and I was working on a day I normally had off. They should have had no idea I was there.

But here they were, holding a large cup of boba from my favorite place. And in my favorite flavor too, winter milk cap with mango popping bubbles.

They came up to me and said, "Hey girl, we noticed you haven't been coming to worship lately. Is everything alright?"

I said, "Oh uh yeah everything's fine! I've just been super busy with work and a ton of projects for class..."

"Ok, well we got this for you," they handed me the boba, "We were hoping to talk to you. We can wait for you outside and talk to you when you get off."

I started panicking so I said, "My mom is actually picking me up as soon as I get off so I won't be able to, I'm sorry! Maybe another time though, I'll text you."

They were convinced by my response so they left. And boy did I RUN so fucking fast after I got off work. I even called Blaine so he could talk to me in case they came after me, but luckily they didn't and I got home ok.

He started yelling at me for drinking the boba saying, "YOU IDIOT! THEY PROBABLY POISONED IT!"

But hey, free boba is free boba.

Anyway, after that event I knew I had to text that girl and tell her I was deciding to leave Shinchenji because I didn't want them to show up at my job again or follow me around.

So I texted her, trying to be as nice as possible and explain to her that I just couldn't do it anymore. I told her how this affected my mental health and my physical health. How I developed an eating disorder from being in Shincheonji too.

Her response was really rude and condescending. She said my mental health issues and my eating disorder were my fault and the work of satan trying to blame them. She told me that once I leave I can never be accepted into heaven, that I'm damning myself to hell as well as all of my family members. I'll be honest, she made me feel incredibly guilty and selfish for leaving. Their teachings were still ingrained in me. But I knew that I could never return after everything, so I blocked her and never spoke to her again.

Oh yeah and that book the professor was writing in the beginning, that wasn't real and she wasn't a professor. It was just a ruse to lure students in.

I will admit I could never get their teachings out of my head. And to this day, even though I know they were wrong, a part of me believes I am going to hell for what I did and all of my family will suffer because of me. So now I can't even look at a bible, and I no longer consider myself religious.

And after this experience, I reached out to that cult podcast that helped me realize I was also in a cult, and I got an episode of my own where I got to tell my story.

So yeah haha that's my story!

Today only my close friends know, and I never told my parents. They still have no idea and honestly, I don't know if I will ever tell them.

I'm still really plagued by a lot of things they did, and my worldview has never been the same. My life has never been the same. But I've been cult free for about 2 years now so I'm just taking it one day at a time.

I'm sorry this was so long. But if you read the whole thing I want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading my story. And if you are a college student, please be careful because cults like this are rampant on college campuses, especially in the U.S.

After leaving the cult, I needed something to obsess over, something to make me feel normal. And that was Gyutaro! And I gotta say, obsessing over him is much healthier than obsessing over the teachings of a cult.

Anyway, I want you all to know that this blog has been an escape for me and helped me to feel normal again after this experience. And I don't need a cult to make me feel loved anymore. Because I have all of you :)

[kaisa-ryo]

— who apologises first during an argument?

jujutsu kaisen

characters: itadori yuji, megumi fushiguro, satoru gojo, inumaki toge, sukuna ryōmen

tw: english isn’t my native language! + this is my very, very old work, so there may be mistakes or complete nonsense :)

Itadori Yuji

It's obvious: Itadori. It's not that he thinks he's wrong, but... he feels bad inside. He would, too. He thinks that a girl's delicate heart is worth more than his pride. Bitter as it may be, he's probably right. The moment he decides which is more important, he remembers a saying he heard once from a respected person: "There's only one absolute value in the world, and that's the soul—in the truest sense of the word." That was his grandfather. Maybe he wasn't like that himself, but he clearly wanted his grandson to be like that.

Itadori thought that repentance comes when you stop wanting things to be a certain way, and realized he actually wasn't very sorry. On the contrary, he felt even more guilty. Even the fact that he's an adult, that he controls everything and knows his goal, it was hard for him to accept. This pressure increases when he realizes that he might accidentally release Sukuna in a fit of anger. And we all know how easily he can ruin everything.

But from the outside, it looks much funnier — Yuji looks at you with puppy-dog eyes and begs her to go with him to another boring movie tomorrow. But in reality, this is just a mechanical reaction to the childish imitation of an adult male instinct, an attempt to extinguish his own inner protest and find a convenient alternative. Still, Itadori realized that's pretty much how all adult wolves behave — by imitating children.

"Please, y/n, let's go see the second part of 'Man-Moth' tomorrow," the guy whined softly. "I really want to see it... Maybe you'll eat something? Have some pineapple?"

Itadori Yuji is a prime example of a big child in a relationship.

Satoru Gojo

This blond stubborn clod is all muddled and unbearable. He only apologizes when he has something in mind. But how often does that something appear in the mind of a person who constantly behaves like a dummy who can't tell himself anything smart or important, because he's afraid to interrupt the thoughtful, time free of petty concerns? Anything he says turns out to be a mere repetition of the same gestures.

"It's your fault. You could've kept quiet, and that's it. You're nice to her, and she's nice to you," Satoru mumbled, smiling skeptically and cleaning up after another serving of ramen.

"What do you know about people, Gojo!" you replied with a pained grimace, looking at the man's peaceful face, which she accidentally caught with one of her non-verbal scans, during which he, opening one eye, looked at her with bewilderment.

"I understand everything, y/n, everything," Satoru mumbled, putting the plate in the sink, "You just don't want to think that you can't trust people at all. And I understand you on that."

Yes, after all these words, he won't even come and hug you, but even without hugs, it gets easier, and you don't get so angry at him anymore. It's not every day you hear words of understanding from your beloved eternal child. Especially during arguments, these words become a real treasure. So it's precisely these insightful speeches that are the most sacred. Because he doesn't talk to anyone else like that. And you knows this perfectly well.

Megumi Fushiguro

Oh dear, he's so sure he's right that he almost never sees beyond his nose. But he's a great listener.

Whenever you try to tell him through tears that he's wrong, he just sits there in silence, looks at you, and smiles as if you're giving him compliments. And it usually doesn't end with him just looking at your eyelashes; it continues with a whole mix of eye movements to his ears and back. After a long monologue, you suddenly stop talking and feel that he isn't listening at all.

"So, are you finished?"

he asks. You nod, feeling that you're about to cry. Then he raises his eyes to you and looks at you with a long, attentive look. There's no meaning in his eyes. And in general, this is the look not of a living person, but rather of a robot.

Inumaki Toge

He doesn't seem to be reading anything at all. You stop mid-sentence, and your emotions pour out in a sigh, through your sobs. He doesn't say anything, he just looks at you, and you feel like he's simply pausing. You don't know what he's trying to say, but you try to apologize, although it's completely pointless. He quietly gets up from the table and approaches you. You feel the warmth of his hand touching you - and you know he's going to try to comfort you now. But instead, he starts some strange movement with his fingers in front of your face. You feel something very much like a tickle. Then he brings his fingers to your face and begins to gently wipe away the trails of tears. You flinch in surprise, and he begins to smile.

Of course, you have this kind of relationship, where your heart beats somewhere in the background, but you can't tell him about it because both of you, in your minds, remain in another reality. For you, it's a fleeting emotional experience, for him it's an eternity.

This sweet, reserved young man never allows himself to lose control of his emotions or to imagine himself as a heartless animal who would deny that you are hurting and uncomfortable. No, he just waits for your happy exclamation, followed by the long-awaited touch of his hands and lips to yours. And here the most important thing is that your dear one remains within the framework of conventions. Otherwise, you won't see how he risks everything.

And most importantly, he will never allow himself to use his magic on you at such moments. Never in a million years. No.

Besides, you can't resist his innocence yourself, even though he's far from a child in reality. The next time your sweetheart decides to make an open declaration of love, don't be afraid to understand him and accept, because he openly and honestly talks about his feelings, and doesn't hide them under a veil of lies. After all, he knows how you feel about him, and he's incredibly happy that you'll never reject his revelations.

Ultimately, whether out of fear of being under his control, or out of pity for him, you're the one who has to apologize.

- Tuna...

- God, how can I even be mad at you?! - you exclaimed indignantly, realizing that you had been acting like a real possessive person all this time. - Why can't you just say "yes" simply and clearly?

- Salmon!

Sukuna Ryōmen

You.

Firstly: why do you think a powerful demon is obliged to apologize to you?

Secondly: who are you to accuse him of anything?

Simply put, you apologize to him not out of conscience, but out of the thought that it would be good if he would back off and stop ruining your life in the most disgusting ways. If you know that he doesn't really hear you, but only experiences the state he's in when he utters the simplest and most vulgar phrases, then you can say nothing at all. But if you feel that he's saying the very words you really need, you're not apologizing, you're convincing yourself that he couldn't have acted any other way. You can consider this a rational use of free will. Just like you do homework in geometry.

Otherwise, he'll just throw insults around until he hears the words of remorse from your lips.

Putting on headphones, abstracting yourself from the outside world, you began to cry quietly into the pillow, either from the realization that you were dating such a disgusting animal, or from the realization of your helplessness before him. During this emotional break, you carefully analyzed everything related to Sukuna and your relationship, as if trying to find some reason for your unhappiness. Suddenly, when you were ready to burst into tears, you felt the presence of the only demon you knew at the entrance to the room.

- God, you're such a pathetic creature! - his voice was full of indifference and disgust. - I'm starting to understand why you were a virgin before me.

How his narcissistic ambition annoyed you. How you wanted to hit him, to suffocate him with a pillow.

[purpletrashcans]

I am so fucking annoyed and here is why

I recently made the discovery that i'm probably aromantic and i would like to do what i did when i discoverd that i'm trans which is go and watch/read everything that even has the tiniest bit of trans representation in it, but i can't because there is no aromantic representation

now obviously that's nothing new, i was aware of this problem before and it pissed me right off then as much as it does now

it’s honestly just such bullshit that whenever there is an asexual character in media, basically the first thing they say after coming out as ace is that "they still want to fall in love" like not wanting, not being able to feel romantic love, would make them less human or something like that and of course there are ace people who are not aro, i'm not saying that and i'm not trying to shit on anybodys identity, if you are ace and not aro you are just as valid as anybody else and this lack of aro rep is obviously not your fault, we also need more ace rep while we're on it, that's not the point i'm trying to make, what i mean is that media always tells us that romance makes us human and if you don’t experience that you are either immature, unstable or not human and that's just bullshit

also it is no wonder that when i told my grandma about Loveless by Alice Oseman and how much i love this book, she was worried that i was like Georgia because i never like anyone romantically, she has never heard of aromanticism before, when she thinks of adult people that have never been in a relationship and don't have children she thinks of lonely, sad people and she doesn't want that for me

it is no wonder that when i see my greataunt and -uncle once a year they ask if i have a partner and when i say that no, i don't have a partner, they tell me that i have time and i'll meet someone eventually

and it is no wonder that so, so many people think that they're broken, that they enter relationships and situations that they don't want to be in, that fucking therapist try to cure people, that it took me 21 years, almost losing my friends, actually losing 8 kg in two months do to disordered eating and reading Loveless two times to figure out that i might just be aro, when there is barely any representation whatsoever, when most people haven't even heard of aromanticism

we need more representation and we need it desperately, that way not only will aro people discover their identity sooner and safe themselves a whole lot of trouble, but allo people can also learn how to react to someone being aro and we can all learn that being aro isn't sad or inhumane or weird or lonely

and because i'm a fancy-schmancy college student (who wrote "collage" instead of "college" first because i can not spell)(and have watched too much criminal minds) i would like to end this with a quote by Mariah Wright Edelman (tho the quotes are the worst part of criminal minds, they are so cringe istg):

“You can’t be what you can’t see”

[betterfettered]

Hello there!

If it's ok, could I request the yandere brothers' reaction to mc getting pregnant? I imagine whether it was purposeful or accidental would depend on the brother, so you can choose whichever you think fits.

I do understand that pregnancy and children can be a pretty sensitive topic though, so it's ok to say no if you feel uncomfortable of course!

In any case, take care!

Hey there! Thanks for the ask! This particular topic isn't my wheelhouse but I would do anything for u anon so I'll take a crack at it. Readers let me know if I missed a tw for anything

(AFAB!reader x AMAB!yandere)(Baby trapping, pregnancy, abortion mentions)(18+ readers only please, mdni)[This is fetish content and rape and abuse are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]

Yandere!Lucifer most definitely planned it. When you finally get pregnant, it would be one of the few situations where you see him actually get emotional, he'll probably hug you so that you can't see his face while he's crying a little. If you thought he was controlling before, you will think you're losing your mind with how he is when you are pregnant. He measures everything you eat and makes all of it himself, doesn't allow you to use any products that he hasn't approved himself, locks you in his room and will not let you out of the bed during the times he wants you to be asleep. When you're disobedient, his punishments will be more psychological, like his threatening to harm or kill a loved one of yours, because he doesn't want to endanger the baby by doing anything physical to you.

Somehow, yandere!Mammon got you pregnant both by accident and on purpose. The idea of baby trapping you occurred to him and without thinking about it whatsoever he instantly decided that he was going to do it. But then when he finds out you're actually pregnant he gives it .56 seconds of thought and realizes what a huge deal this is. He'd be really happy but also pretty freaked out about it, expect Lucifer to be around a bit more helping you and Mammon out with things when Mammon doesn't know what to do. But you'd see his genuine excitement in things like him buying all kinds of baby clothes and shoes (that are like for all ages of child because he isn't checking the sizes) and the really gaudy nursery that he tries to put together. He would love the feeling of having this special connection with you that no one else has.

Yandere!Levi would definitely have done it by accident. He'd be really, really freaked out, and I think the most likely to ask you to terminate the pregnancy. Regardless of if you actually did or not, you would get the sense that he is almost...competing with his own kid for your attention? Like he'd want you to keep playing video games and watching anime with him as though you weren't pregnant, and if physical symptoms got in the way he'd be annoyed/jealous. Or if you terminated he would want you to act like the whole thing never happened. A lot of his negative feelings come from feeling inadequate and unprepared, so if you and Lucifer let's be honest he will also need a lot of help from Lucifer consistently encouraged him and said he'd be great with the baby and the baby will love him, I think he would really come around on it. Like the first time he held the kid his face would look like he just saw a ghost, but soon after the kid would be like another Henry to him (they always listen when Levi talks about TSL!!!)

Yandere!Satan absolutely planned it, months in advance. You'd know this because he'd have stacks and stacks of books about it beforehand, and feed you all sorts of weird fertility potions and stuff. He's probably also going to fuck you in a bunch of new/different positions that he read are good for breeding. Much like Lucifer, he'll be monitoring you really closely while you're pregnant, and have planned everything down to the last detail. He's prepared little potion kits for any symptoms you may have, he has already read so many books on what your symptoms mean, he like takes your vitals every four hours LOL He may also try to distance himself from you a little because he's worried about getting angry and doing something he regrets, so expect to see lots of cameras all over your living space so he can keep tabs on you.

Yandere!Asmo would have done it on accident, but he'd be really excited, sort of in the same way that an influencer would be excited about it. He starts talking a lot about his legacy and wants to talk all the time about the baby's name and how you'll dress them and whether the baby will have your eyebrows or his eyebrows, etc etc. He gets portraits painted of you two all the time, wants to come up with his own line of maternity clothing for you and wants nudes of you to post on his Devilgram so he can wax poetic about the beauty of pregnant bodies. The only thing is, he has a bit of a dreamy perspective on it and isn't necessarily keyed into the realities of your pregnancy. Like if you kept getting morning sick, he may be a little grossed out by it and sleep in another room from you. Or he may not grasp how painful some contractions can be for you. Eventually he'd get it but it would take a while for his head to come out of the clouds.

Yandere!Beel planned it in the sense that he takes it for granted that that's going to be the outcome of your relationship. He'll randomly be feeding you stuff and say that it is good for fertility then move on without explaining anything. He likes the idea of having a ton of kids and a big family with you. You may be able to get him to defer breeding you for a while, but he won't stop talking about kids or the family you'll have together someday. While you're pregnant he would dote on you constantly, insisting on carrying you up the stairs and getting everything for you so you don't need to get up and becoming aggressively territorial when anyone but Belphie tries to come around you. Once he has started his family with you, everything else will just be a distraction to him.

Yandere!Belphie would be very similar in attitude to Beel, but he would be specifically and knowingly trying to baby trap you as soon as he had his hands on you (fans of mating press, rejoice!). He's the most likely to have a breeding fetish and want to finish inside of you as much as he can, even to the point of avoiding you blowing him. While you are pregnant, he would love how your breasts get bigger and will always rest his face in them while sleeping, his arm wrapped around your tummy. He'll be less bratty but more manipulative -- if you complain about anything, he'll ask if you hate your own child and that's why you're trying to destroy your family with him.

TLDR ur probably gonna have to pay child support to lucifer for how much cofathering he's gonna do with these idiots LOLOL

How was that anon? I'm out of my depths but I hope you enjoyed at least part of that. If not feel free to heckle me hahahahaha

[barenecessiteas]

Final Random Sinclair Headcanons Because I Can't Get Them Out Of My Head

Hello my darlings. We've reached the final part of my random headcanons. There's only one person left - you know him, you love him, it's adorable waxy boi Vincent! Again, these are all just random thoughts I had, I don't really write on here much, but these just kept coming to me so I figured I may as well share em. Hope you enjoy!

Vincent Sinclair

If you didn't happen to see this on my last post, I believe Vincent is the younger twin and Bo is the older one. Only apart by seconds for obvious reason, but Bo was technically born first

Even after the separation surgery, baby Vincent had a hard time sleeping unless Bo was with him. Having his literal other half suddenly not be attached anymore took a lot of adjustment for him

He also exclusively sleeps on his right side, or at least with the right side of his face against the pillow. Kinda like a subconscious need to feel something against the skin there since Bo wasn't attached to him anymore

Vincent is actually able to talk, he's just selectively mute. This comes from the abuse he witnessed on Bo by their parents

I kinda touched on this last time, but restraining Bo to the chair every time he "misbehaved" or threw a tantrum really just taught the kids that it wasn't acceptable to express their emotions. So even tho Vincent never actually experienced the same punishment, it scared him to watch that happen to his brother

That's why, in the introduction to the film, you see little Vincent seemingly just ignore Bo while he's strapped into the chair, just quietly eating his cereal and swinging his feet

This is NOT because he didn't care about his brother. He was just scared of getting the same treatment that Bo did. He had the idea that if he behaved in front of his parents, he'd be able to sneak off to comfort Bo later

We all see in the film how he's immediately concerned for Bo when he notices the arrow in his chest. He hates seeing either of his brothers hurt, and he just started feeling more comfortable openly expressing that after their parents were gone

So yes, he can talk, but usually it's not unless he absolutely has to. His voice is often harsh and raspy because of this, but it's still there

I don't see Vincent as the meek, timid, and abused twin like a lot of people do. Bo isn't just his brother, he's Vincent's TWIN brother. He's literally been dealing with Bo since they were in the womb

Vincent is just calmer by nature and it's much harder to actually get him angry. He's learned that Bo says a bunch of shit he doesn't mean when he's angry and it's usually best to just let him cool off on his own. Vincent doesn't take it personally

This doesn't mean they don't fight. It happened more when they were kids, but as fully grown adult men Vincent rarely ever gets so pissed off he actually fights with Bo

I think most people agree on this next part but I'm gonna say it anyway - Vincent started growing his hair out so that he'd have something to hide his face with if he ever needed to take off the mask

Even with that in mind, he's not afraid to throw hands if Bo really manages to piss him off 💀

Like they have gotten into legit brawls and fist fights as children if they got on each other's nerves

He does genuinely like the look of it long now, but it started mostly as a security blanket type thing

Speaking of his hair, his is naturally darker than Bo's, he doesn't dye it or anything. We see in pictures that they were blonde as young kids and their hair got darker as they grew older. Bo's hair just stopped darkening at the dark brown we see him with. Vincent's hair just kept on getting darker

He actually does take pretty good care of his hair. He's not super concerned about it, but he doesn't want it to be a rat's nest either. He makes sure to keep it brushed, washes it regularly, and he's generally good at keeping wax out of it

Vincent wasn't really bullied as much for his mask as most people think he was. The Sinclairs were basically local celebrities, so everyone in town knew who they were. Their birth and separation surgery were announced in the paper too, so everyone kinda knew it was from that

What really bothered him was the pity from other people. Kids could be assholes about it every now and then, sure, but hearing adults whisper about it was what he'd really hate

He got into wax kinda by accident. It was a day while Trudy was working on a new mask for him, he was sitting around watching her. She gave him some extra wax she had lying around to play with

Saying stuff like "poor boy" or "shame he didn't turn out as good looking as his brother" when they thought he wasn't listening. That's what really got to him

Vincent also isn't really shy, he's just introverted. He found that hearing people talk about him and feeling sorry for him behind his back exhausted him, so he really just prefers the company of his family

Trudy and Victor often told the boys old mythology stories at bedtime, so Vincent decided he wanted to make what he thought the monsters and creatures in the stories looked like

Since it was his first time using wax, it was far from perfect, but he'd spent so long watching his mom work on her art that he had an idea of some of the technique

He actually used a spoon to shape the wax for most of it lol

Even for such a young kid, he definitely showed promise. That's when Trudy really started to take him under her wing. She was delighted to be able to bond with one of her boys like that

Vincent always felt a little guilty for having a closer relationship with Trudy because of how she and Victor would treat Bo (and how they'd pay much less attention to Lester). He still loved his parents, but it definitely added a huge guilt complex

That's why he's so concerned about always being there for Bo and Lester to help take care of them. He just tends to let Bo take the initiative in taking care of him and Lester because he knows it makes Bo feel better

Just like Bo, he was taught to play the piano growing up. He's pretty good at it, but he never had the same interest in it that Bo did. He enjoyed listening to music more than playing it

Vincent has a very broad taste in music, he listens to a lot of different genres. Classical music is pretty much exclusively for when he's sculpting or making any form of art in general

It's a habit he picked up from his mother. He finds it less distracting so it helps him concentrate more

Like Bo, he was also very good at sports growing up. Really all of the boys were (Bo was just the most involved in it so he got better than his brothers eventually). He's actually surprisingly active

He tries to take frequent breaks when working with wax, even if it's just for a tiny bit. If he doesn't, his muscles get very sore, making it hard for him to work later on

However, when I say he tries I really mean that he only remembers to take breaks with smaller projects. Bo and Lester (or even Jonesy) usually have to remind him to step away for a bit

Speaking of Jonesy, she is in fact Vincent's dog. Yeah, she's the family dog too, but Vincent is the one who found her and raised her

He was going for a walk in the woods and found Jonesy abandoned as a puppy. Even though she was young she was still much smaller than she should have been. Her mother and litter mates were nowhere to be found

So Vincent gently picks her up and carries her home in the pocket of his hoodie. He stays up all night feeding her and watching over her to make sure she recovers physically

Bo was surprisingly chill with Vincent keeping the puppy. As long as Vincent was responsible for taking care of her, he didn't mind having a dog around

Lester lost his shit when he found out Vincent took in a puppy (in a good way, of course)

Vincent basically treats her like his baby (we stan a girl dad) and takes VERY good care of her. She has a great diet, has constant play sessions, and is overall very well cared for

It bothers him when Lester sneaks her some roadkill meat because he's always scared about Jonesy potentially getting sick

Jonesy also sleeps in Vincent's bed with him and has seen his face more than his actual brothers have. She loves to give him kisses on the scarred side of his face and it makes him melt

When Bo first came up with the idea of killing people to use as a base for Vincent's wax sculptures, he was hesitant. Sure, he knew killing people was wrong, but he was more worried about the danger it could place his brothers in

But once he actually used the first victim as a live "model" of sorts, he was convinced that this was the perfect way to finish his mother's dream. It didn't take him a lot of convincing

His collection of knives are all gifts from Bo and Lester. They'd often either buy them or find them on victims before cleaning them up to give them to vincent

The dual dragon blades are his favorites because it was a combined present from Bo and Lester for Christmas

He has much more morbid curiosity in killing because of his father's work. He found anatomy very interesting (and not to mention useful when it came to sculpting people), so he often takes pictures or videos to use as references when painting or sketching

Alright, we've now reached the end of my insanity. I hope you all enjoyed my silly little writing spree. I may or may not write more Headcanons in the future, idk. We'll see if inspiration ends up striking me lol. But for now, we've finished the Sinclairs. Thanks for reading, my lovelies, and I hope you all have a wonderful day 😘💕

[scoobydoodean]

omg i just finished your emma vs amy takes and the subsequent discourse about it (which was so refreshing to see btw!! love it when adults can be Adults and argue about the topic without insulting the other person) and I might get fried for this but that incident aside, do you have any other scene/episode in mind where sam reacts the same way or does the same thing?

(im sorry if this isn't your cup of tea for asks! your takes have been Enlightening)

You mean another situation where Sam shoots a person with supernatural abilities who hasn't shed blood and has a sympathetic backstory without giving them a chance? Not as overtly—Benny in season 8's "Citizen Fang" certainly comes to mind, but even Benny, Sam at least made a show of giving a chance by assigning Martin to keep tabs on him and make sure he didn't do anything wrong before trying to kill him. (Though whether there was conscious or subconscious sabotage involved when Sam chose Martin specifically—someone he knew to be mentally unstable—is certainly a good question given Sam had already made death threats about Benny before then.)

The fact that Sam's behavior in 7.13 "Slice Girls" is pretty unique is really what I want to point out about this episode in the first place—that Sam's actions in "Slice Girls" are inconsistent with his previous behavior and future behavior as far as "good" monster episodes. We can turn to examples such as:

1.14 where Sam insists they try and talk Max down instead of killing him, because Max's murders are a result of extensive abuse.

Lenore and her nest in SPN's seminal "monsters can be good" episode (2.03)

Sam thinking Andy is responsible for the killings in 2.05 but still waiting for proof before acting.

2.09 where Sam insists they not kill someone they think might be infected with Croatoan virus before he turns and tries to kill them because that doesn't give him a chance.

Two episodes where Sam faces off against Gordon because Gordon wants to kill him before Sam kills someone (2.10, 3.07)

2.17 where Sam and Dean search for a cure for Madison, who is not aware that she has been killing people.

4.04 Metamorphosis where Sam is the one who takes the initiative to research Rugarus, learns that they can survive without giving into their urges, and insist they go and talk to him about how his body is changing (lol) so he has the chance to fight the urge to kill and eat people.

5.06 where Sam and Dean oppose Cas who wants to kill Jesse, who is a child who is not aware that he has powers and is hurting people.

6.02 where Sam, even soulless, recognizes the innocence of a shifter baby.

Then we have Amy and Emma in 7.03 and 7.13 respectively.

8.04 where the brothers let Kate the Werewolf go because she was turned against her will and killed the man who turned her in self-defense.

8.09 Citizen Fang (already discussed)

I'm getting lazy but then we also have Magda and Jack Kline—both children with powers, one severely abused, the other the son of the devil with uncontrolled explosive powers that could end the world, both of whom Sam attempts to help work with their abilities.

Dean has a more structured series of personal "rules"—a litmus test we see from the very beginning—one Sam often follows as well, but I'm not sure Sam ever really fully grasps that Dean thinks this way.

Has this person hurt or killed anyone?

Was it on purpose or was it outside of their awareness?

If it wasn't on purpose, are they capable of learning to control their urges?

We see this code as early as 1.12 "Faith":

SAM Wait, what the hell are you talking about Dean, we can't kill Roy. DEAN Sam the guys playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book. SAM No. We're not going to kill a human being Dean. We do that we're no better than he is.

Dean applies the same reasoning in 1.14 with Max:

SAM These visions, this whole time -- I wasn't connecting to the Millers, I was connecting to Max! The thing is I don't get why, man. I guess -- because we're so alike? DEAN What are you talking about. The dude's nothing like you. SAM Well. We both have psychic abilities, we both... DEAN Both what? Sam, Max is a monster, he's already killed two people, now he's gunning for a third.

Despite the exact opposite being the typical fandom perception, early on we learn that Sam tends to define a monster by their features/abilities, while Dean defines a monster by their actions. We see the same with Amy—she is "a monster who killed four people" (7.07) . She isn't a monster because of what she is but because of what she did. This again—is also why Dean doesn't even consider killing her son right after her kid swears to kill him one day. We see Dean, in the rare cases where it comes up, is also perfectly fine with taking out human serial killers they stumble across (ex: Thin Man).

Sam will also kill a human serial killer at times (and murderous witches by 3.09), but he reserves the word "monster" to describe individuals with supernatural features/abilities... and I think the fact that Sam's definition of the term differs from Dean's is something neither brother ever fully realizes about the other, leading at several points to arguments where they are talking past each other and do not understand one another. Sam hears "monster" and thinks "Dean is talking about me", when Dean is operating under a completely different definition of the term that is based on the actions of a person.

When Sam is in a headspace where he is thinking of himself as one of those monsters, he shows increased or lessened sympathy in turns. For example, he assumes Andy's guilt in 2.05 because he is panicked about becoming evil himself and is comparing the two of them (but again—still waits for confirmation) but his sympathy for Max in 1.14 comes from the same comparison with himself. Sam completely misrepresents Amy in 7.03 as an addict who relapsed but more generally is "managing", as a way to compare her with himself... when Amy didn't feed on anyone herself and her actions have absolutely nothing to do with addiction or battling "monstrous urges".

I've been bitching and moaning a lot, but I will reemphasize that there is a more sympathetic reason that Sam shoots Emma—Sam and Dean are both crowding up to the diving board at the deep end of the pool in season 7. Dean's grieving and is drinking extremely heavily to cope and Sam is hallucinating. They are both unraveling at the seams. Neither of them is in a place where they trust the other's judgement because they both know themselves and each other to be unstable. So if we imagine a reality where Sam and Dean give Emma a chance, and it doesn't take, Sam assesses himself and Dean to be in no mental state to cope with a potential surprise attack. It's just that Sam also erroneously compares Amy and Emma when they are not the same, and by doing so, frames Dean wanting to spare Emma but killing Amy as hypocrisy (because they are both "monsters") when Dean's actions are perfectly consistent with his personal ethical code and his definition of a "monster"... and Sam's actions aren't.

[jspenft]

Gojo drabble ☆ FATHER'S DAY EDITION

Fluff fluff fluff, suggestive if you squint (at the veeery end), maybe a bit cheesy, since it's Father's Day here in France here's a little something (we're the next day when I post this but anyway). It's just what comes up in my mind and one of the few times I'm really writing so be indulgent pls, english isn't my first language, 1,2k.

Satoru wakes up in a very good mood. Today is HIS day! (well every day is his day but here more than usual okay?)

He woke up so early but didn't get up. He'd rather wait for the kids to wake him up, like they did with you on your day.

Yeah back then, he prepared countless surprises for your Mother's Day with your children of 4 and 2 yo, respectively a girl and a boy.

So it's normal that he can't wait to see what you've all prepared for him today.

But your children never came to your room. *No breakfast in bed then? Well whatever, doesn't matter*

He won't stop repeating your kids things like:

"What a beautiful day to be a dad!"

"The weather is nice today, don't you think kikufuku"😀

"Honey what day is it?~" :))

"Huh? It's Sunday Papa", answered your daughter

And then, at noon, the kids still didn't say to him: "Happy Father's Day".

So honestly, he thinks they forgot, you all forgot.

How to say he went from his best day of the year, to his worst in less than a few hours.

Of course you notice that he sulks, and you're like,

"Can you help me with this step of the recipe please?", you ask him

"No. Don't want to"

"What's the matter Toru you usually love cooking with me?"

"I said don't want to", and he's pouting again

In the evening he expects only one thing: for it to be midnight to complain that you all forgot his Father's Day.

Around 6.p.m, he already wanna go to bed.

"'Night i'm going to sleep"

"NO!", the three of you scream in unison with shocked eyes as you watch him slowly walk towards the bedroom

"Huh?" he looks at you puzzled

"Um, I mean.. you can't go to bed just yet. We have- we have to go to the store to buy something to eat for tonight", you giggle nervously, scratching your neck

"Well you can go alone, I'll watch the ki-"

"No Papa! Let's all go together! Cmon, wear your coat!", your daughter cuts him off

"Yeah wear you goat Papa", your son, trying to imitate his big sister

He's bregudingly follows you. Anyway he has no choice, his children are busy trying to grab his coat and push him out of the house.

He continues to pout on the way, hands in his pockets.

"But the store isn't usually this way, why're we goin' to Jujutsu tech"

"Don't worry Toru it's a short way off", you say as you all enter the forest belonging to the Jujutsu tech

*Damn he's gonna suspect something, shit, we gotta hurry before he wants to go home* you think

A few minutes later, the children and you trotted to enter the park before him. You whisper things to each other before you all look up at him and shout:

"HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!"

His ears tilt when he hears what he wanted since this morning, and his eyes widen as he walks into the park.

Fairy lights and balloons surround a magnificent picnic table. His favorite dish, strawberry cake, pastries, and lots of decorations that your children prepared themselves.

*beautiful* He stopped walking a while ago and can't stop admiring everything.

"That's..."

He can't finish his sentence that he puts a hand in front of his eyes and... he's crying..?

"Papa ?"

"Papa why you crying? You don't like it?"

You're children think they didn't do well.

"No, no that's not it. It's just, thank you. No.. sorry. Sorry I thought you forgot", he confess

They giggle, "We prepared everything with mommy. We refrained from saying happy Father's Day to you before tonight! We did a good job didn't we?", your daughter smiles happily while holding her father's pants

Your son follow his sister saying,

"You like the surprise Papa?"

Satoru squats to hug them "Yes, I really appreciate that, thank you my loves"

He kisses them on their cheeks and stand up before telling them "Come on, go play with the balloons before you sit down to eat"

"Yayyy", they exclaim with joy as they start running around the table

He watches them play with a smile before hearing someone started talking.

"Soo...", you're approaching him "You really think we forgot?", you quipped

He rolls his eyes "Not at all"

"Toru you're pouting again", you looking at him with amusment

He raises his head and confesses "Okay maybe a little"

"You finally raise your head huh, your head were down the whole way.. such a drama queen", you tease him "but don't worry..", you say cupping his cheeks "I'd think the same if I were you. But that was a surprise.. I'm sorry", you avow before pulling him into a kiss

"You still love it?"

"Of course", he smile brightly "Anyway how did you prepare all this?"

"Megumi helped", you smile "He helped me get you away from home while we were preparing all the food and all. He was the one who set the table and lit the light garlands before we arrived"

He remembers something before answering "So, that's why I saw you on your phone all day"

"Yeah I had to check if the preparations were going well"

"You sneaky girl"

You laugh together when your little monsters kids call you.

"Mama! Papa! Come eat!"

Satoru couldn't help laughing when he saw them already starting touching the food.

"Hey don't you dare eat without me you rascals", he races to catch them, then they giggle so hard when he starts tickling them.

"What a beautiful sight", you smile at the view

After the cake, your little ones gives him his gifts.

He loves any gift his children give him, really, any.

Pasta necklace? He wears it with pride

Drawing? He'll post it on the fridge, in the entrance wall, in his wallet, whatever as long as everyone can admire his precious children's masterpieces.

Cakes made with love with the help of their mother? He... honestly he would hesitate to eat them all at once or savor them.

The rest of the evening is spent in laughter and cheerfulness.

You come home late that day.

Your kids were gone at uncle Nanamin's house for that pajama party which was planned a long ago.

You in the bathroom, Satoru in your shared bed as he shout,

"Sweetheart come to bed alreadyyy", he wines

"Did you really think your day was over?"

"Hmm?", he thinks hearing wrong

When you come out of the bathroom adjoining your room, Satoru can't take his eyes off you.

You were absolutely stunning in that new underwear set, as you continue with a cocky smile,

"Happy Father's Day Daddy"

*God this is going to be a long night*

The rest is up to the future lmao

-------- bonus --------

The next day, Satoru complains to Megumi, "Why didn't you wish your handsome dad an happy father's day you unworthy sonnn", he cry out shaking him, pretending to cry

"You're not my dad i don't owe you a present or something" he exclaim

"Yet you helped Y/n yesterday, that counts as a gift, thanks Gumiii"

He's caught off guard

"Oww you're blushing! My little boy is blushinggg~"

Legend has it that Satoru left with a bump on his head after this interaction.

© jspenft 2023 : do not plagiarize, steal, contort, copy, or translate my content to other platforms.