#eat it.

[rayyanishere1]

one day in the backupsmore uni dorms circa 1970 something

stan: if life gives you lemons, what do you do?

ford: life never gave us lemons. lemons are a manmade hybrid of other citrus fruits. if life did give me lemons, i'd ask where they got them from.

fidds: if life gives you lemons, give them to someone else 'cause you hate lemons.

ford: what about you, stan? what would you do if life gave you lemons?

stan: eat it.

(taken from a very funny convo i had with @sharkiewyu [fidds] and @nazchokey [stan])

[ghostermctoaster]

HAND DRAWING I LIKE???????

[silkmilkchan]

merryyyyy cringemasssss!!!! lol

↓tiny lil bonuses ↓

lol

[roadsidesuicide]

My fucking icing melted what the fuck.

Eat up buttercup, god has blessed you with the creation of this beloved cake

[theonlyle]

ew.. that's.. that's gay.. 🙁

EAT IT

[homosexual-fanfiction]

chirp chirp motherfucker

throws birdseed at you

[dreamybasil]

A bird is outside my house with a gun jnhgtresaxvbhyttfbbyytvbvfddffvbhhgfdsssszcb what do i do

"I DON'T KNOW?!?!? UHH- LIKE SMACK IT WITH AN UMBRELLA OR SOMETHING?? SMACK IT AND ONCE IT FALLS GO OUTSIDE, TAKE IT'S BODY AND COOK??? OR KIDNAP IT AND MAKE IT YOUR PET AND KEEP IT AT HOME???? USE THE MICROWAVE KIM GAVE YOU ONCE OR ASK SUZUKIS FOR THE BREAD AND FEED THE BIRD maybe it will go away because its just hungry-"

"Hey thats actually a pretty good idea, use the bread to feed the bird and if it wont fly away just keep it as your pet! Suzukis's bread is free and probably is pretty sweet (I never ate it.) so that could be a good idea."

[sabrebash]

the joy of realizing someone is a similar type of freak as you

[cat-mermaid]

Wow i just found two new articles with headers that fucking completely misrepresent that wat Michael Moore's recent open letter said:

what the fuck man, are you expecting people not to actually read the rest of the article?

do you think people aren't going to read this part?

fuck off with that, the man is 100% cool with Luigi

[shadowqueenjude]

A Bug’s Life, 1998

[unpeeled-human]

special defense

does this count as anything ???is this art

[vengoesbatshitcrazywithpolls]

Honey, I’d eat crayons :)

21.13 btw.

[lun-rk800]

Trying to frame pro-Luigi "punks" negatively by sharing that they *checks notes* hate pedophiles is hilarious

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[scythlyven-art]

Dropping this over here just because