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naomikozura · 5 months ago

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Playing With Fire: Chapter 4

Jason Todd (Red Hood) x Fem!Reader (Criminal)

Trope: Enemies to Lovers, Forbidden Romance

Warnings: Strong language, use of weapons, trespassing, angst, trauma, emotional turmoil, mentions of Reader’s past, bribery, reader being a smart ass. (lmk if I missed any!)

WC: 9.3K

Summary: What happens when the one person you're supposed to kill, is the one you have a moment of shared recognition and longing with? What happens when your loyalties are questioned?

Series Masterlist

Chapter 3 || Chapter 5

The massive web of connections on the investigation board that laid on your coffee table made your brain go into overdrive. The clutter of maps, papers, photographs, and notes all pinned on the board and scattered on the couch and the table, it all slowly brought together your task at finding the direct hit to taking Red down. It had been a week since he broke into your apartment and threatened you, leaving you feeling more motivated to take him out than when you first started this assignment a month ago.

You had spent the majority of your time analyzing his patterns, putting together every hit he made and every operation under his watch. Each job, each stakeout, each tiny detail leading you closer and closer to dismantling his entire criminal empire.

You leaned forward, taking a quick sip from your wine glass before placing it on the table, pinning another point on the board, a meeting he had held with some of his partners that you scoped out. It was a normal monthly check-in, his partners updating him on the scope of the land, the hits they had taken, and the mention of the abduction of Amazo resulting in a failure. It was one of the final straws that made Black Mask's inquiry with Penguin. Amazo was supposed to help Sionis rise in the ranks, solidify him as a powerful hand in international trafficking. The entire operation stopped by none other than Batman and Nightwing. They also were pinned on the board, it wasn’t likely they were connected to Red, but they were on the board anyway. Any encounter was important. You laid back into the couch, soaking it all in as you crossed your legs, contemplating your next move. You could set a trap, lure him in and get him off guard.

It was a thought, but he was calculative and smart. He would probably see your attack from a mile away. You needed to plan around his strengths and expose his weaknesses.

You laid your head against the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling before making your decision, your head lolling to the side and taking note of the time. It was still early. You could make it to the next point of contact.

You let out a breath, pushing yourself from the couch and changing into your stealth clothes, securing your mask above your nose and pulling your hood over your head, falling into the alley and speeding down the streets to your pinpoint location.

The air was thick with tension, the wind blowing as you slipped into the shadows of the abandoned factory, moving silently to not be caught by any potential security measures. You kept your breath even, scanning through the night with your night vision goggles, trying to find any sign of movement or suspicious activity.

Your eyes instantly locked on the black figure moving through the building, its movements calculated and careful, blending seamlessly into the darkness and staying practically invisible. You moved into the room, carefully treading as you moved towards the beams above the room, the walkway hanging from the ceiling, trying to stay hidden as you watched Red. He kneeled, watching as he pulled up a device that downloaded information from the data box that was wired in the wall. You felt your heart race increase, the plan playing through your head as you tried to focus. Your muscles tensed, waiting for the perfect moment to get him off guard.

Once Red stood, you pushed yourself off the walkway, your feet taking the majority of the impact as you kicked him, his head snapping to the side and landing on the ground, launching back at him with your knife as you cut through his arm. You felt his grasp as he slammed you to the ground, your anger taking over you as you jumped over him and grabbed his head, trying to snap his neck only to be met with him wrapping his hands around your ankles, twisting your body and forcing it on the ground. He slammed you down, his body crushing yours as you tried to aim your dagger at his throat. You felt a solid, forceful punch in the gut as he dug his knee into your side. Each of his hits met with equal force, your body tangled with his as you rolled and landed on top of him, your face meeting his crimson helmet as you tried to force the knife into his jugular, his hands forcing the knife to come to a halt as it shook in your grasp.

His eyes narrowed at you, a subtle scoff as he forced the knife out of your hands, disarming you as he wrapped his legs around your body, forcing you into the ground his leg forced against your back as he shoved your face into the concrete. Your breath hitched, gasping for air as the heat of his body burned through her, his intensity causing her to struggle underneath him.

“Getting better, sweetheart.”, Red’s voice was low, the vibration flowing through your bones in an eerie sensation. “Almost had me that time.”

“Get… off me.”, you struggled, your cheek pressed firmly on the ground as you struggled against his grip. His hold was unmoving, his presence full of lethal power. You met his gaze, his body heat causing your skin to burn, trying to push him off of you.

You could not let him get the upper hand, you strained against him, using all your force to get out of his grasp. You struggled to get to your feet as you felt his hand clasp around your wrist, spinning you around until your back was pressed against his muscular chest, his voice echoing in your ear.

“What are you doing here, (Y/n)?”, his voice rumbled in a deep octave.

“You know why motherfucker.”, you forced out, the venom laced in your voice as you glared dagger at him behind you. “You need to be taken care of.”

“Taken care of? Sweetheart, you’re so sure of yourself.”, you could hear the humor in his tone, the smirk that probably lingered on his lips under his mask. “You don’t think you could possibly take me down. I’ve gotten you three times in a row, don’t act like you’re better than you actually are.”

“And you think you’re big and bad?”, you spit at him, you annoyance growing, the extinguished fire reigniting itself as he held you in an iron grip. “You're a nobody, Red. You only have this hold on weak men because you can’t rise to the ranks on your own. You are nothing without Black Mask and Carmine’s rings.”

“You got a smart mouth on you. Talking about being a nobody.”, He grabbed your face, forcing your head closer to his. “Take away Penguin, take away your connections, take away everything that brought you into this life. Who are you?”

Your jaw clenched, your anger setting into your bones, your vision turning red at his obvious bait. Taunting was always his best card to play in order to get a rise out of you. There was nothing you hated more than people second guessing you, invalidating your work and efforts to get to where you were.

“I’m the one who’s going to fucking kill you.”, you seethed. “I’ll be the one collecting that bond on your head, and when I do, I won’t ever have to deal with your bullshit or Sionis ever again. I’ll be free to leave.”

His grip tightened, making your jaw ache from the force but you refused to flinch at the pain. You were getting under his skin, you could tell by his ticks. Looks like he also hated being second guessed.

“You think you’re untouchable, but you forget that you’re just human. You can die just as easily as the rest of us. It’ll be the greatest pleasure to watch the life drain from your eyes when I put a bullet through your fucking skull.”

“Watch your fucking tone.”

“Does it bother you knowing that you have no real power? That you’re nothing without taking territory and men from other crime bosses?” His eyes narrowed, the anger radiating off him in waves. He was trying to maintain control, but you could see the cracks in his composure. His grip on your face felt like a vice, but the pain was secondary to the satisfaction of getting under his skin.

You smirked at him. “I’ve dealt with worse than you and always received my payment. You're just another obstacle, another name on my list. And believe me, I’ve got a solid kill count.”

“Solid kill count yet you can’t make the shot that will actually count.”, he taunted. “You can’t touch me. You underestimate me and that is your biggest mistake.”

He shoved you away, making you stumble but you caught yourself quickly, standing tall despite the ache in your jaw. He paced, his fists clenching and unclenching, the muscles in his neck taut with barely restrained fury.

“Careful,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “Your smart mouth will get you killed, sweetheart. I’ll break you. Slowly, painfully. And when I do, you’ll beg for the end.”

“I’d rather die than ever have to beg you for anything.”, you watched as he straightened, his body on guard as you focused on him, ready for when he’d attack.

He lingered a moment, his gaze piercing into you as if he could see the very core of your being. Then, without another word, he turned, heading towards the door. The room seemed to exhale as he reached the exit, the air thick with the weight of his threat.

"This isn’t over, Red.", you spoke out as he walked away.

"No, it isn’t.", he called out. Just as he was about to leave, he paused and glanced back over his shoulder, his eyes narrowing with lethal intent. "If you follow me, I'll shoot you.”

The door closed behind him, the loud slam echoing through the room, leaving you standing in the middle of the room with your fists clenched at your sides and your gaze focused where he stood. There was a burning sensation in your chest, an anger that penetrated deep within you.

You wanted to scream, to punch something, to make him feel even a fraction of the rage he had put within you.

You stayed silent, the frustration boiling beneath your skin. You knew you couldn't afford to let it consume you. Not yet. There would be a time for anger, a time for revenge, but for now, you had to bide your time.

You need to be smart.

You need to be patient.

You would make the Red Hood regret ever doubting you.

Breaking into a high secured building seemed a lot more difficult than it was, bypassing the security system to run on a loop in order to not be caught. You slipped past the few guards inside, noting that the building being “highly secure translates to only three guards being on duty.

One at the entrance, one by the invaluable pieces of art and jewels, the last navigating the rest of the building, floating so his movements were unpredictable. It didn’t matter though, especially since you’d already made it inside. You needed to find the office and grab the intel you needed.

You moved around quietly, your all black suit helping you blend into the night as you navigated carefully through the halls. The downloaded blueprint of the building located the office was only a few doors down. Looking around the corner you noticed an opening, quickly going through and sliding into the dark office.

You skimmed through the office, taking note of the files cascaded on the table. Your eyes notice different company names and a long list of names. Lifting the paper, you noted it was a guest list. For what you couldn’t care less. This wasn’t what you were here for.

The file cabinet caught your eye, picking the lock and opening the first drawer, looking through the files quickly to find the one you were searching for.

“Always sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong” the sound of the deep, distorted voice made you jump, turning around quickly as his body was already pushing yours against the cabinet.

“Red”, you seethed.

“What are you doing, Y/n?”

“That’s my business. Not yours.” you countered, trying to discreetly find an out. He must’ve noticed because he moved his face closer to yours. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t worry about what I’m doing, sweetheart”

You rolled your eyes at his comment, trying to push past him and move to the other side of the room, but right as you did you felt his hand wrap around your arm, pulling you into him. Your heart started beating, pounding in your chest as the adrenaline told you to find an out. You trashed against him, his arm wrapped across your chest to hold you in place as his gloved hand covered your mouth. You kept fighting him until his back was against the wall, your back flush against his chest, slowly calming down as you saw a small light illuminate the floor.

A guard.

You watched the floor light up, the flashlight scanning through the room as your heart pounded in your chest in hopes he wouldn’t go deeper into the room. You sank into Red’s hold, relaxing in his warmth. A part of you, the delusional part of you, found a sliver of comfort in the way you were against him. You could feel his heart in his chest, even and calm. How was he so calm? You pushed the thought away as you watched the light disappear down the hall, the door clicking as it closed and locked as the footsteps descended down the hall.

Once the click sounded, you snapped back to focus, turning away from him once you realized the position you were in.

“Thanks”, you muttered, forcing the gratitude out like it was acid.

“So you do know how to say thank you”, he teased before you snapped your head towards him, glaring daggers as he backed away.

You turned back towards the filing cabinet, skimming through until you finally found the file you needed.

Gotcha.

You turned, Red’s eyes focused on you as he sat in a chair nearby with a leg over the other and his arms crossed. He stayed silent, almost as though expecting you to answer but you didn’t.

“Let me guess. The file is in Sionis”, you contemplating answering him. “Why do you have bad blood with one of your boss’s partners?”

“Why would I tell you about my bad blood with Sionis?”

“So there is?”, he countered quickly.

“He… He’s a dog. He needs to be taken down a few notches, humbled.”

“That why you let me go so kindly?”, your jaw clenched. “You said it was spite, i’m assuming it’s because of him?”

“You’re making me regret not shooting you in the mouth.”

You opened the files, skimming through the information to confirm it was Sionis’ file. You placed it under your arm, turning to walk past him. He stayed silent, not questioning your actions until you paused.

You were still angry with him. Even more so than usual and yet him being here didn’t stir any emotions inside of you. It left you feeling confused at why he was so hot and cold. If you were the enemy to him, and you killed all his operations why didn’t he take his free shot to kill you?

Was he waiting for something to happen? Did he expect something to pop up and then he would take the first chance he could to get rid of you?

It didn’t make sense. He was so adamant the other day that you were probably the worst thing that could’ve ever happened and yet he stood five feet away from you watching your every move and not even trying to stop you from escaping with the file.

Why?

“They tasked me to kill you. I won’t do it because Sionis doesn’t deserve an easy out. You die, he regains his position as the top of the food chain and I’ll do anything to keep that from happening. Don’t think this is because I won’t kill you, because I think we both know I can.”

That was the last thing you told him before jumping on the table, jumping up and pushing the window open and climbing to the roof before running home.

The file contained an entire run down on Roman Sionis, his background, his upbringing, his family and criminal ties, even why the Sionis and Two-Face were at odds with one another. You needed to find a weakness, an opening to knock him down a peg, something to keep him from becoming the top dog in Gotham’s underground.

Ever since you met the man, you’d despised him. Your meeting went back longer than the meeting at the Lounge. You were certain Black Mask never recognized you, but you remembered him from when you first tried to gain footing in the underground. He’d sent his men to beat you to an inch of your life when he’d found you trying to steal from him to try and get some money. You were still weak, small, barely 16 and your appearance had changed a lot since you were a teenager. He’d left your body bloody and beaten, left to be attacked by others but you were able to drag yourself into a sewer drain and let yourself rest until you could find a way to tend to your injuries. It was the same time Penguin had taken you in.

You’d chosen this life to get away from the ghost that haunted you. You couldn’t go back to the family, go back to Gotham Academy, after Robin disappeared, you wanted to put that entire life behind you. It was easy to have all your problems solved, but you couldn’t be in that life without thinking about him. He’d made everything bright, made living with the family tolerable. The only way to get over him was to leave the life he made so bright behind.

That life never suited you, and you were fine with it. You’d rather work with Penguin and get the money you needed to leave by your own hard work, not because some rich family was giving it to you.

Sionis had ties to Arkham Asylum, being admitted there a few times before leaving and getting more of his business to take off. He had ties to almost every major criminal that was locked behind bars there and you wondered if there was something deeper in his connections. He already called one of those connections in and was set to be released soon. You let your brain overwork itself until you couldn’t focus anymore.

You couldn’t handle this, you needed a break, needed time to just be alone and bask in your own emotions. You let out a breath, pushing out of your chair and stretching your legs. You needed to get out, go on the field and do some real work, but your job with Calvi had taken up a good chunk of your time. You still needed him to be in contact with Penguin.

You pulled out your unmarked phone, dialing Calvi’s number, hearing the line ring twice before he answered.

“Calbera speaking.”

“Hey, Calvi. It’s Vivian.”, you said with a smile in your tone as your face remained neutral. “I was just calling to set another time to meet.”

“Vivian, it’s nice hearing your voice again.”, he said in a smooth tone, “Yes, we can set a time. How does tomorrow evening sound?”

Tomorrow.

You felt a tug at your chest as you looked at the calendar, your mind unsure of your answer before you heard him call your alias through the phone. Tomorrow was too… raw, but you needed to get this job done sooner than later.

“Tomorrow is perfect. I look forward to seeing you Calvi”

“The feeling is mutual. See you tomorrow Vivian”.

The line went silent, your eyes still focused on the calendar before turning and heading to bed, looking out at the sky as the small light from the stars barely shined through due to the light pollution. It was enough though, enough to get a good idea of what it would be like to see the stars in full effect.

“I want to go out to the mountains, like camping or something.”, you squint your eyes trying to see the stars over all the light from the buildings around you. You couldn’t see the stars that well but you imagined them well enough to see what they could possibly look like.

“We could go, you know?”, Robin looked up, standing next to you as the wind blew your hair and ruffled his own. “Let’s plan a day to go together.”

“I don’t even know who you are behind the mask and you’re asking me to go camping with you?”

“I could tell you.”, he shrugged. “I don’t see why I couldn’t talk to Batman and see if he’d let me.”, you stared at him, a part of you in shock at his openness to ask his mentor to let him reveal such a huge part of himself. The thing that made his identity a secret. Was he really willing to risk it all for you?

“Yeah, I’d like that”, you smiled at him before looking back up, the breeze wrapping around you like a blanket of comfort.

The next evening came quickly enough, the time slipping by as you busied yourself with getting ready and heading over to Calvi’s estate. The butler taking you inside and Calvi waiting for you in the foyer. He smiled at you with a charming look, reaching a hand out and leading you into his main sitting room. He fetched you some wine, the same red you had at the club a week ago when Red had barged in and ruined everything. You were still angry at him, beyond pissed, but the anger had dwindled with the days as you started to focus more on things that did nothing but cut you open on the inside.

Calvi talked mindlessly as you paid minimal attention to his words, everything flowing in one ear and out the other, your responses dry but you covered them up well with your eye contact and body language. He didn’t even notice just how detached you were from the situation and you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore than any other day. Today just wasn’t a good day for you. It brought back pieces of your past that left you to shreds and made you feel forgotten.

“Vivian, would you like to accompany me to a Gala being held in a month?”, you snapped up to him, your eyes focused on him as he stared at you.

“A Gala?”, you asked softly, still trying to focus on what he mentioned before this.

“It's an annual Gala held by some of the most prestigious businessmen in Gotham, every major partner, business owner, and A-list celebrity will be there. I’ve gotten a special invite to be honored for the evening for my business and would like to bring you as my plus one.”, he placed a hand on your knee, his eyes focused on you and hoping you’d say yes.

“An evening in your honor, that sounds…. Amazing.”, you replied softly, smiling as he focused on your lips. “I’m flattered that you’re asking me. Of course I’ll go as your plus one.”

“Great, I’ll forward you all the information you need. I think it will be a good way to celebrate the past two weeks of getting to know each other.”

You forced a smile at his words, noticing that he was taking this relationship in a different context than you had hoped. This was your way to get him to switch from working with Red to working with Penguin. You just needed to find the perfect opportunity to get him talking about his deal with Red and somehow steer to Penguin.

“So, Red Hood?”, you asked quietly. “I didn’t expect you to have ties with someone who’s been running rampant and causing a fuss on the street. It’s been all over the news recently.”

“He provides good protection, helps me get an upper hand in my operations and doesn’t let black market intel slip into the wrong hands. I think it’s a pretty secure system.”, he leaned back, taking a drink of his whiskey before looking over at you again. “Why the sudden interest, my dear?”

“No particular reason. I just know there are a lot more established people who run the crime rings. That’s all”

“How do you know about the crime rings?”, he raised an eyebrow at you, questioning you for a moment.

“Let’s say, I like to dabble in what goes on in Gotham’s underground matters. The rich, upscale life is too…. Boring.”, you confessed. It wasn’t a lie. Upper Gotham was boring and only consisted of rich assholes parading around like everyone owes them something.

“That is very true. I don’t think I can help make it less boring, can I?”, he motioned slightly, cocking his head as his eyes bore into yours.

“You already managed to make it less boring with our meeting at the club last week.”, you smiled, a mischievous grin painting your features. “I like seeing that side of things. It might be dangerous but…. It left me excited.”

His eyes darkened at your words. You were playing your cards right and he was slowly falling into it. You needed him to further bring up the topic, until then your hands were tied and you could only wait as he focused on your features.

You had your hair in a loose ponytail, one that wasn’t underdressed but not overdone either. It was a perfect inbetween that matched your laid back attire of a basic white tee and tan dress pants with your exposed necklace perfectly tying everything together. It was simple yet classy, not over done but not underdressed.

“I can bring more excitement if you want to join in on future meetings. Of course, if you’d be interested.”, your smile didn’t reach your eyes but you were good at covering it up with false excitement.

“I would love that, Calvi”, you touched his hand, clasping it and rubbing your thumb on the back of it before he leaned forward, placing a kiss on your forehead before kissing the corner of your mouth.

“I look forward to it then, my dear.”

You felt absolutely nothing. Yet, you couldn’t help but imagine if life would be more simple if you had been with someone like Calvi. Handsome, rich, intelligent, and able to hold his own when it came down to business and the underground. You wouldn’t lie to yourself, you knew he was successful and had a hand in the black market business, but you didn’t fall so easily for the charm of someone who had too many flaws, hidden secrets, more skeletons in the closet than you cared to deal with. His family business was dirty and their reputation was filled with all sorts of shady upbringings. Calvi was not the type of person you got involved with in any way that was for anything other than business.

After your meeting, he led you to the front, waiting for the car to come around and take you home, but you had requested the driver take you to another location once you had said your goodbyes and hopped into the car. The driver only nodded and drove 20 minutes to the other side of where you were supposed to be. It was late, almost 10pm. You hadn’t noticed your meeting with Calvi had been so late but that’s what happens when you agree to meet at 7pm instead of earlier like regular people. Once you arrived, you thanked the driver and got out, letting the wind hit your face as you walked down the street and up to the building that overlooked the water.

You rounded the building, finding the ladder shaft that led all the way to the top of the building. It was a tall climb but you didn’t care. You wanted to feel a sense of exhilaration climbing up so many floors just from the side of a building. You had been trained properly to ensure you wouldn’t fall and you didn’t. You reached the roof in ease after 10 minutes of climbing up the long ladder.

You walked over to the ledge of the building, over where it overlooked the rest of the surrounding areas and looked down at the place that once brought you good memories and feelings of happiness. You sat on the ledge and focused on letting yourself just bask in the moment.

It was chilly outside, your legs pulled up to your chest as you watched the water. It’d been a while since you came here, your heart constricting at the distant memories you’d shared with the Boy Wonder. It was secluded and no one ever came up here, it was perfect to just wallow in the past of everything. There were parts of you wondering if you came here enough, if he’d somehow show up too. You scoffed at the thought before fiddling with the pendant on your necklace that was perfectly exposed.

It wasn’t too long ago that you came back and sat in your own company to grieve through losing him. You never found out why and the closure would never present itself. You wanted to give him every excuse, every reason why he didn’t return but in the end it was to only ease your hurt.

Footsteps behind you broke you from your trance. The silence grew as you slowly turned your head, meeting the exact person you already knew it was. You were too tired, too burned out, too emotionally unwell to even be angry at his presence.

“What are you doing here?”, his voice questioned through the voice distorter, his distance making him easy to hear but still kept him far away enough to not come across as a threat.

“I come here all the time.”, you muttered, not caring to fight with him today. Especially not today.

“That wasn’t my question.” he repeated himself. “What are you doing here?”

You rolled your eyes, turning back to look at the water without answering him. Did he follow you here? He had a bad habit of keeping tabs on you when he needed to mind his business.

“Y/n.”

A simple call. Simple yet demanding.

“What?!”, you snapped. “Why are you following me? Just go away, give me peace at least today! You can go back to trying to kill me tomorrow, hell at midnight if you want but just go!”

He stopped in his tracks, the blanket of silence falling over you again. You noticed the sockets of his helmet move, his shoulders tensing as he looked at you, likely taking in your emotional state. You’d never shown a level of vulnerability to anyone before, but you were so close to breaking. The heat and pressure behind your eyes growing by the second.

Today was the day he’d left. The day he didn’t come back. You needed to be alone. You needed to process the hurt that you still carried in your heart. It was the only thing that made you weak and you hated it. How did some boy make you weak after fighting all those years to be strong? How was he your Achilles heel?

You could feel him still standing behind you, your lip quivering as you forced yourself to stay composed. His boots shifted before he walked to the ledge, standing there and staring at the water with you. You looked at him silently, trying to gauge why he was here. He didn’t say anything, just stood quietly as you sat on the ground with your legs to your chest and your chin resting on top of your knees.

The silence felt…. comforting.

He didn’t say anything else, you didn’t speak. You just basked in the silence together and it felt like he was giving you a silent form of support. You noticed his body relaxed, his muscles resting instead of flexed and ready to fight.

The heaviness in your chest grew into an overwhelming ball of emotion, but you forced yourself to push it away. You couldn’t break down in front of him.

You just couldn’t.

“I had a friend I used to meet here”, he spoke finally. “Seems like it was a lifetime ago”

You looked at him, your eyes softening at his confession. “Yeah. Me too.” you breathed. “It seems like it was a hundred lifetimes ago”

Silence again. You couldn’t help but wonder what it was like for him then, had he always been this dangerous? This cut throat and with a murderous edge?

“Were the two of you close?”, you broke the silence.

“We were. We became friends unconventionally but it was a good relationship to have.”, even through the distortion in his helmet making his voice change, you could hear how his tone softened from its usual rough and deep tone.

“That’s good. It’s hard to find people to have good relationships with”

“What about you?”, he asked, turning to you as you looked up at him from the ground, your eyes locked on each other and a moment passed in similarity.

“We had it good… but guess it wasn’t good enough”

Red looked at you, his body language open as he waited for you to continue.

“He disappeared. Just never came back. So..”

He didn’t say anything after that, just turned back to the water and soaking in the small bit of wind blowing your hair out of your face. You were not dressed for the weather but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. He moved his hand towards you, passing you a small item. You raised an eyebrow at him, grabbing the item before you felt the warmth flood your hands.

It was a hand warmer.

You silently thanked him, allowing yourself to soak in the quiet. The silence stayed for a while longer, maybe 20 minutes give or take before he turned, leaving you as you watched him walk away from the ledge.

“Hey”, you called to him, making himself too in his tracks and he moved his head to the side, waiting for your response. “It’s after midnight. You have a free shot right now”

He turned his whole body, staring at you silently seeing his eyes narrow slightly. You couldn’t see his expression but you felt something different in the air. He stared at you almost in empathy.

“I’ll save it for next time”, he muttered, turning and taking off, leaving you alone on the roof as you watched after him.

There was no way you just… shared your past with him, right?

You didn’t think too much about it, letting yourself bask in the cold silence before finally heading home closer to 1am. Leaving behind another part of your past as you went home to rest for the coming days.

It was dark, the lights from the city in the distance seemed to be the only thing illuminating through the night. You moved silently through the field, your senses on high alert and responsive. Your goal was simple: get inside the building, download your information, and leave before you got caught. You needed this information, it was another piece to your puzzle in bringing down both Sionis and Red. It was foolish to try and dismantle both of them, but you needed an upper hand.

Your heart pounding in your chest as you moved in, everything seemingly too calm. Scanning the area, you took in every detail, trying to catch anything that could raise alarms. It was quiet. Too quiet.

You slipped in through a window, jumping from the top of the building and landing softly on the ground, your footsteps almost non-existent.

You couldn’t be too careful, taking in the palettes of wooden crates organized neatly throughout the room. Anyone of these could trigger an alarm, or worse, get you caught in the middle of the workers trying to kill you.

You needed to go up a few floors, the server room being on the upper levels of the building. Moving through the room, you found the staircase, carefully moving and ready to jump over the ledge if the moment called for it. You were not going to get caught up like last time.

You pulled open the door, peeking in to securely sneak in. It was empty. The late hour could be the reason but something tugged at your gut telling you it was something else.

“C’mon, this way.”, a voice rang out, forcing you to press your back against the wall, flush to minimize being seen. Three men, probably patrolling or fucking around. Regardless, you needed to get past them. You waited until they passed, moving carefully as they left. You watched after them, double checking the hall before moving to the other end of the floor, reaching the secured room as you connected your drive to the security panel to hack into it.

The universe must love putting you in shitty situations, not even five seconds later the room filled with a flashing red overlay, an alarm blaring throughout the building. You snapped your hands up, covering your ears as you turned around, trying to ensure you weren’t getting caught or tripped an alarm. Nothing. Panic surged through you trying to find a way to get out of this without getting caught.

You heard the click of the door, your eyes widening as you pushed through, shutting the door and walking over to the server. You connected the flash drive, hacking into the system and downloading the information you needed. You heard footsteps from the hall, your heart pounding in your chest as you waited for the chip to turn green.

The handle rattled as the men barged into the room, your heart spiking as you swiped the flash before it could download everything you needed. Dammit!

The sound of gunshots erupting through the room sent you into overdrive, forcing you to face them head on and get out of the building. You moved quickly, the bullets missing you as you tipped over the desk and ducked behind it. Chips of broken wood flew all around you, the gunshots never ending as they moved closer towards you. You tried shooting back at them with your own fire, but it was four against one. You were going to get caught.

Fuck.

The gunshots stopped, your heart pounding as you tried to contemplate your options. A loud explosion threw you off, the guards cursing as gunfire started again. The shots getting louder before they stopped completely, then a lone shot echoed.

You stayed frozen, mentally preparing yourself for what you’d face if you stood. You turned, looking at the doorway, your heart dropped but flooded in relief. You pushed the thought away as the deep distorted words moved through the room.

“Move!”, he ordered you, the alarm getting louder as you pushed yourself to your feet, rushing to the door as meeting his eye line.

You hesitated, your pride eating at you before you clenched your jaw. You couldn’t be in debt to him. Before you could say anything, the sound of more men rang out. Red motioned for you to follow him and for some reason, you did just that. You ran behind him as you slipped through the hallways, his body ramming into a door, breaking it down as he kicked through the window, glass shattering everywhere.

Your adrenaline was pumping through you, your heart working overtime and your mind racing as you tried to keep up with everything happening around you.

“You coming or do you want to get shot?”, he taunted before he climbed out of the window, you following closely behind as you climbed the ladder to the roof. The outside of the building also had an alarm system, the blaring ringing in your ear as you tried to focus on getting out of the death trap filled with men ready to die for their cause.

You saw as Red’s body disappeared over the ledge, your lungs burning to reach the top and get a break from the chaos inside. A gloved hand extended itself, staring at it as you paused, taking it as Red hauled you over the top, your body crashing into his. He had a hand on your back, your hands on his forearm and chest, breathing in the air as you tried to catch your breath.

Why was it so hard to breathe right now?

You looked up at him, your hands still on his body as his gaze held yours. He didn’t narrow his eyes or seem annoyed, he just… watched you.

“I…” you sucked in a breath. “I had it under control”, you muttered.

“Sure you did, sweetheart”, sarcasm dripping from his tone. You rolled your eyes, your attitude less than it normally was.

He really did just come out of nowhere and help you, a tug in your gut making you question why when all he’d done the past month is try and kill you. Had he softened after the two of you saw each other on the roof? You doubted it. He always had ulterior motives and you needed to find what they were before it was too late.

In the midst of your trance, Red heard a snap behind him, his hands still on your body as he heard the cocking of a gun, the sound missing your ears entirely. He grabbed your body, shielding it as he jumped behind one of the metal containers on the roof as a rain of fire flooded the roof. They were shooting to kill, and he was not about to get killed by these brainless men.

You snapped out of your trance, the thud that you hit the ground with making you focus. Red’s body was over yours, his gun raised as he took shots at the men who came closer to the two of you.

These men were not easing up.

“A little help would be nice, sweetheart”, he grunted as he ducked, his back flush with the container.

“Right”, you muttered as you stood, taking out your pistol and reloading the mag and snapping it into place, taking aim as you shot at the men on the other side of the roof.

“What the fuck do they want”, you heard him curse next to you, taking another shot as one of the men fell to the ground. “We need to get out of here.”

“Oh really? I thought I’d set up a picnic”, you rolled your eyes.

His head snapped towards you, glaring and unamused before yanking you back behind the container. The bullet barely missed you.

“Stay focused”, he bit out.

“God you’re controlling” you made another shot, “Does it help inflate your massive ego knowing you’re calling the shots right now?”

“You’re annoying, you know that right?” the irritation evident in his tone and it made you smirk. You enjoyed getting under his skin.

“Never had anyone complain before, people love me”

“If you could stop talking and actually focus, we can get out of this shithole alive”, he forced.

“Thanks but I don’t need you to boss me around.”, you ducked before shooting back, dropping the mag and reloading.

“Clearly you do.”, he growled, aiming at the men, shooting one in the leg and another in the shoulder. “Watch for the guy with the patch.”

You narrowed in on the man Red described, the goon pulling out a grenade, about to throw it before you got a clear shot of his head, the bullet hitting its mark, his body thumping to the ground.

“Got him. Are you happy now?”, you straightened, seeing as all the bodies laid on the ground.

“Ecstatic”, he muttered, uncocking his gun and reloading the bullets. “We need to leave.”

“I think I can handle myself.”

“Oh my..”, he placed a hand on his helmet, almost like he was trying to calm down. “Can you not be difficult for once.”

“I was doing fine..”, you trailed off as he imposed on your space, taking up all the air in proximity and making you silent.

“You set off the security system when you broke into the server room.”, he loomed over you, his stance on guard and his muscles flexed.

“That wasn’t me.”, you bit out. “Someone else must’ve tipped the alarm, but I was careful.”

“You always have some excuse.”

“It wasn’t me”, your fists tightened. “I had it under control.”

“You were being cornered, outnumbered, and getting shot at, I wouldn’t call that under control”

“I didn’t ask for your help”, you glared at him.

The tension in his shoulders showed his irritation, “You never ask for help. That’s your problem.”

“And you’re always in the fucking way. That's yours.”, you bit back.

“God, we need to-”, he paused, “Fuck, here we go.”, he scoffed before grabbing your arm, pulling you behind him, his body shielding you as he unloaded his entire mag. More men came through the doors, rushing towards the both of you.

Red charged, throwing punches as you followed with the other goon behind him. Four of them focused on taking down you and Red. You jumped over one of them, and swung your leg around, kicking one of them in the jaw as they dropped to the ground. You ran towards the other goon, watching as he pulled out a knife and trying to strike you with it. You twisted your body around his attacks, dodging each one and hitting him in the gut.

The goon punched you, trying to dig the blade into your side as you threw yourself back, pushing yourself off the ground and disarming his weapon, throwing it to the ground. He grabbed your arm, flinging you over his head and slamming you down. You felt the ache in your back, but you couldn’t focus on the pain, you needed to get out.

You looked over at Red, watching as he fought off two men at the same time, both of them delivering and receiving hits from the hooded vigilante.

You focused, running towards the goon who was trying to kill you, punching directly under his jaw and his head snapping to the side with your second blow. His body dropped to the ground, turning as you ran over to help Red.

You jumped on the man’s shoulders, using your dagger and digging it into the side of his neck, his body toppling to the ground. Red quickly secured a hold on his goon, tightening his grip and cracking his neck sideways before throwing his body carelessly on the ground. You sucked in a breath as you took in the blood that splattered all over you. Your hands were covered, not that it was unusual, you were used to it.

“For someone so smart you get yourself in stupid fucking situations”, Red mocked.

“Yeah well, it comes with the job.”, you wiped the sweat off your forehead, looking up at him and sitting in silence.

Red did a quick overview, his senses kicking off as he watched you mess with something in your utility belt. The infrared in his helmet exposed the movement in the dim lit roof. His eyes narrowed, alarms going off. He noticed the staggered movements of a body, raising a gun and aiming for you. Without hesitating, he lunged, pulling you into him and pushing the both of you to the ground.

“What the hell?!”, you exclaimed, watching as he aimed his gun at the darkness, before heading a thud of a body. You watched as he narrowed his eyes, pulling you to your feet with him.

“Fucker was still alive.”, was all he said as he scanned through the roof again. “Almost put a bullet through your skull.”

God, how many times had he saved your ass tonight?

“It's clear.”, he motioned, you following behind him as he reached the ledge of the building. You stayed silent, shifting from one foot to the other before you swallowed your pride and broke the elongated silence.

“Thanks, for everything. For tonight.”, you forced out, hating that you had to thank him for saving you. You were always careful, tonight was just…. Bad luck.

“Yeah. Whatever.” Red’s voice was firm, but you didn’t fail to notice how it had a miniscule softness to it. It was less harsh than normal and it threw you off. You rubbed the back of your arm, feeling a vibration in your pocket as you took out your transmitter.

The message sprawled simply, but made your gut drop.

Sionis Industries, 2200 hours, Tomorrow. BM

Your eyebrows scrunched in confusion and annoyance, turning as Red stayed focused on you. What did Sionis want now? To torture you some more with his ridiculous tasks? Come onto you a little stronger? God, could he just leave you alone for once.

“Duty calls.”, you waved the device before shoving it back in its holder, turning away and jumping to the other building and disappearing.

Red watched after you, a tugging in his gut before brushing off the feeling. He couldn’t deny you were stubborn, hot-headed, smart… charming. Different than before. It made his irritation towards you lessened a sliver. He ignored the thought, leaving in silence as he stepped over the bodies of the men and disappeared into the night.

The room was empty, as you pushed the door open, three guards lingering at the entrance as you moved deeper into the room. Your eyes fell on Sionis leaning back in his leather chair, his gaze fixated outside and seeing you in the reflection. His gaze darkened as he turned, fixated on you like a predator. You hadn’t told Penguin about the meeting tonight, wanting to ensure Sionis’ reason behind meeting with you wasn’t for something completely unrelated to Red.

“Y/n, glad you could make it.”, his voice rang through the empty room, the windows surrounding every side of the room making you feel exposed. His corporate building was smack in the middle of Gotham, it was both strategic and dangerous. “Sit. We have business to discuss.”

“I’d prefer to stand”, you said confidently, not letting your nerves get to you. Sionis stared at you with serious eyes.

“I said. Sit.”, his voice was sharp, a vein popping on his forehead. When you refused to sit, he grabbed the bottle of whiskey on the desk and smashed it to the ground. Your body stayed still and held his eyes but a small fraction of you wanted to flinch. “I don’t have time for you to play these games, Y/n.”

“Then get to the point, Sionis.”, you spit out.

His maniacal laugh echoed as he moved towards you, his body towering over you in pure greed, anger, hatred. You could sense his itch to hurt someone, to punch them or even kill them. He wouldn’t touch you. You knew that much. He couldn’t risk losing his deal with Penguin, it would ruin his entire process to getting Red out of the picture.

“I just don’t understand, sweetheart.”, he spoke loudly as he picked up the glass filled with his whiskey, the bottle shattered at his feet. “It’s been almost two months. Why haven’t you caught the son of a bitch yet?”

Your jaw tightened, the reminder burning through you as you watched his calculative and taking note of your every word. “I’m doing everything I can. He has an upper hand, Sionis. He’s calculative, quick, and has eyes and ears all over the city. He’s always two steps ahead.”

“Doesn’t seem like you’re doing everything you can. This dirty piece of shit has been destroying my jobs! I’ve lost millions! Maybe my last request was too mired in subtlety. I want this man dead. Now, when I say dead, I mean seriously dead! Beaten, broken, his head mounted on my wall kind of dead! Either do it or I’ll convince Penguin for you to take his place instead.”

God, you never hated anyone more than Sionis. Red even didn’t make her as angry as Sionis did. He was ruthless, power-hungry, unhinged, and just purely psychotic. You were surprised at how tame he had been the past month, Roman Sionis did not have a reputation for being calm and composed. He was open and aggressive and that made him the top of the Criminal food chain. He was the one person you did not fuck with or betray. It always ended with someone getting tortured, beaten half to death, or straight up killed.

“Don’t forget I work for Penguin, not you.”, your eyes narrowed as you shoved your face in his a little more. “I’ll take care of Red Hood on my own time. I still have other jobs the Boss asks of me.”

Sionis fists clenched at his sides, his foot tapping on the floor as he analyzed your glare, looking for just the tiniest, miniscule chip in your facade. You were good at keeping things hidden, you never let anyone break through your walls. That was the only way to survive. Your stance solidified and your gaze hardened.

“I already cost him hundreds of thousands, he won’t let me take another hit at him so easily after busting two of his operations.”

Sionis’ smirk widened into a sinister, full smile, “You think a couple hundred thousand is anything? I lost millions! Get this fucker’s body on my desk soon or I will start shooting bullets down someone’s fucking throat.”

“Trust me, there’s nothing I want more than that bond you have on his head.”, you took a step back, his hand grabbing you.

“If you get his body on my desk by the end of the month I’ll double the bond.”

A million dollars.

You could be free. It was all you needed to finally get away. The last of your savings to put you in a secure spot. You already wanted to get rid of Red, the past few days meaning nothing to you in how he treated you. You knew it was all for his own selfish motives and this would be your selfish motive. A million dollars. That would make anyone go crazy.

“Consider it done.”

Sionis smirked, his dark face gaining more of an ugly maniacal appearance to it as he loosened his grip on your arm. “Good”, he hummed, returning to his desk. “If you fail, I’ll make sure to do my own look as to why.”

“Don’t waste your time. It’ll be done.”, you said finally, seeing his eyes follow you as you turned and left through the door, the guards letting you out before you reached the elevator. You clicked the lobby button and sat in your thoughts as you contemplate your next move. A million. It wasn’t a lot in the grand scheme of things. Relocating, moving, starting somewhere new, that would take the majority of the money, but it was enough to get you started.

The ring of the elevator brought your attention back to reality, stepping out into the lobby and heading out the door. You didn’t have a choice. You needed the money, you needed this assignment, you needed to get rid of Red. Your life quite literally depends on it.

The air outside was fresh, a stark contrast to the suffocating feeling inside of Sionis’ office. You took a deep breath, calming yourself before walking back home. You couldn’t let Sionis win, but right now, you were at his mercy.

Red needed to be taken care of.

Even though a part of you felt cold at the thought, it was the only way.

A/N

Hello everyone!

So so many of you have been sending me messages on here saying how much you love this story so far and it makes me so happy that you’re enjoying it! We finally get to see more of Red and Reader slowly get to know each other outside of the masks. I know it’s still picking up but the upcoming chapters will be full of more progression!

Again I cannot thank you enough and please leave comments, messages, or any questions!

See you next week xx.

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thisisxli · 5 months ago

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What about tooru oikwawa x Hajime twin brother!reader who is shy headcanons?

( I don't know if you do male reader)

Omgg yes ofcc! I really like this idea, it's really cute

Anddd Oikawa's also my fav! <33 I used to be a huge big haikyuu! fan back then lmao. But yes, I will happily do this request. 💗💗

Rs: Tooru Oikawa x Male!Reader

Warnings: small angst, mentions of panick attacks, drama, Tooru's homophobic ex, love quarrels

Tags: Reader is Hajime's twin brother, fluff, Tooru is lovesick and down bad for reader, small The Notebook reference, slice of life, sweet stuff, Golden Retriever x Black Cat energy

wc: 1.8k

First impression/how you met:

Obviously, you both met through Hajime. You've known each other since you were kids. You were born only by five minutes later after Hajime and even so, you were left behind sometimes. This caused you to be really hesitant when Tooru was around. Hajime? Not as much since he was your twin. But Tooru was a different story. You don't know why you got so nervous around him. You started to get really annoyed with yourself when a buzzing prickly feeling started to pick up in your gut whenever he was around. Other than that, Tooru's best friend was Hajime. Not you.

Tooru was never one for introductions as a child but ever since he had met you, it was like you had to know everything about him. Something else told him he just wanted to know everything about you- but it was whatever. Other than that, he felt a little... timid by you. And he swears it's not that he didn't know what to say or anything but you were quiet and you would get really flustered every time he asked you a question. His ten year old brain that time clearly was not fixated on the early signs.

First realizing you had feelings for each other:

You realized you had feelings for him when you watched him set a ball in your backyard, your twin brother spiking it as usual. You were thirteen at the time and you just started puberty. So the hormones and voice change was a huge big weird surprise to you. Watching Tooru glisten in sweat, wiping his nose with the neckline of his shirt. You were practically drooling. That's when a thought popped up in your head, 'oh my god! He's so attractive!' That was when you ultimately decided you were attracted to men. Not many girls were that appealing to your eye anyway.

Tooru realizes his feelings when you two were eleven. He suggested the idea of teaching you and you shyly accepted. He set the ball your way but when you tried to spike it to the other side of the net, you missed and fell on your butt. And it hurt. Tooru immediately rushes to your side, checking if there was some other sort of injury you had. And yet, when he had looked into those teary eyes of yours, that's when he knew that you were going to be the one he was going to marry when he was older. His husband in hand. Surely you did look like Hajime, but you were different. You were unique in a way that made his heart flutter.

How you get together:

You guys got together on Valentine's day. Literally.

Tooru's locker was immensely filled by letters and boxes of chocolate by girls all over the school, some were even boys. You can't lie and say you weren't jealous. You even had your letter you were going to give him. A letter explaining your true feelings and some parts reminiscing some fond memories you two had with each other. But for some reason, he was the one who gave a letter to you. But it wasn't just a letter, he had chocolate.. and gifts! Flowers! And he made sure everyone in your hall saw his proposal! Hajime was in the crowd, crossing his arms over his chest, a soft scowl displayed on his face. Did he know about this? Perhaps he even helped Tooru?

"(Y/N), will you do me the honor of becoming my boyfriend?" Girls shrieked, some cried, some stared at him in disgust while he just stared at you like you hung the moon. You felt small under all these eyes of the people who were crowding you and recording. "Y-yes.." You nod warily, watching him excitedly let out weird sounds and chirps while he jumped with his friends, careful not to drop any of your gifts. Later on that day, he walked you home with your hand held in his hand, both of your other arms occupied with the override of gifts he brought you. Just until Hajime booked his head with a fist, of course.

First kiss/how you kiss:

Much less to say, you were really nervous. You were on your first date with him and it was soon coming to an end; you had a feeling where it was going. "The moon looks beautiful tonight, does it?" When you turn to look at Tooru, he isn't even looking at the moon, he's looking at YOU. You nod, biting the inside of your cheek, "yeah.. it does look beautiful." You both stood on top of a bridge, a small river softly rippling through the streams. As much as you tried to take your mind off things by staring into the reflection of the moon on the water, you couldn't. So you scooched a step closer. And then another step. And another until Tooru took one for you, making you stiff. "(Y/N).." You turn your head to meet his eyes but your lips meet his instead. You were unprepared and was internally screeching inside. But soon enough, you got used to it and start to move your lips against his own. It was slow and passionate. You did not regret a single embarrassing thing you did in front of him as kids after that day.

Whenever you two kiss, they're very playful and chokeholding. At least for you. Tooru loves to bite onto your lip and drag it with him, doing it in front of his friends to show you off and get reactions out of them. When they're not playful, they get sensational and sweet. Some tongue is used here and there. Whenever it's used, you get flustered every time and he absolutely loves it.

Dealing with his ex:

His ex absolutely HATED you. And she hated the idea of a dude and another dude dating each other. You did try to be peaceful with her but she irked you. Tooru would reassure you and pepper you with kisses, rephrasing, "don't worry about her. She's just jealous so don't waste your time, love."

You stepped out your comfort zone and absolutely blew up at her when you caught her putting her hands on Tooru. Non-consensually.

"You better back the fuck up," you raise your voice at the hand-wandering girl, her face falling once she sees you. Suddenly in all your years, you never felt any more bold than you did now. Phones started to pull out from people's pockets and record while you marched your way over to the girl, chest in her face. You were only an inch short from Tooru, same as Hajime. "I don't fuck with the gays, hun. Who are you again?" Her question only seemed to irk you more just before you tightened your fist around Tooru's collar and smash his lips against yours. The colors literally drain from her face when she watches Tooru cling onto you desperately. And you make SURE she watches his tongue slip into your mouth. You seperate your lips from his when she turns to walk away, "yeah, walk away, puny bitch."

Teaching each other:

Tooru LOVES teaching you volleyball. Although you fail miserably at it, he still loves teaching you. Because he gets to pick you up and start back all over again, just to see you try. And he thinks it's cute to see you struggle. He notices you have the habit to pinch your sleeve between your finger nails when you concentrate or struggle.

You laugh every time he attempts to copy one of your drawings, only to end up looking like they were drawn by a five year old. You try to teach him how to draw in your way step by step but he miserably fails at it so. When you suggested to just have him draw his own thing, it was two stickmans. It was him and you, to be precise. You found it adorable and is now hung up on the wall of your room till this day.

Panick attacks:

There was a time you noticed he had been acting strange. You went by the gym to check it out but when you did, you only saw him there just serving balls and setting them as high up as he could. When you called out his name, he messed up his momentum and that's quite literally when he started to cry. He started to hyperventilate and close in on himself which you immediately rush to his side to comfort. He quickly took you in his arms, breathing heavily against your shoulder, his dry throat and muscles burning intensely. Luckily, you had a bottle of water with you. So while he calmed down and laid on your lap while drinking water, he went back to being okay. He did vent to you about his problems and insecurities though. And you were there to hear it all.<3

Arguments:

You both barely gotten into arguments. But after finding out he was going off to move into South America, you were bawling and begging at his feet.

"(Y/N)- look- I'm sorry! I can't stay! I really wish I could but I can't! I don't even know if we.." His voice trails off, eyes softening at your kneeled figure. You were clinging to his pants, soft hiccups leaving your chest as you rest your forehead against his thigh. "We have to stay together," you murmur, snot slowly rolling down and over your lip. Tooru smiles before kneeling down to meet your eyes, placing a hand on your cheek. "And we can. It's not impossible. If someone really wanted to do or keep something, they would've done so already," he kindly smiles, warning a ripping whine out of you, tears over spilling your cheeks. He's quickly alerted and tries his best to wipe away your tears and snot.

Adult life:

"My brother and brother 'n law will be here in a min', just give them a se-" "Tooru (L/N) is here people!!" Tooru slams the door open, cutting off Hajime who now had a grim scowling look on his face. You and Tooru had just got back from your honeymoon, and you both had a great time. It was wonderful and beautiful. You followed behind your husband not too short after, awkwardly lightly bowing to the guests in the house at Tooru's loud boast.

You two lived in a house together. He pursued his dream as a volleyball player and you pursued yours. You both supported each other in every way. But now, there was a debate whether you two should get a surrogate or an adopted child. You two decided you wanted a surrogate, one of your own and one of his own. You two now have one girl and one boy. They were basically twins; the only difference was that one was born an hour after the other.

The girl was named 'Najime' and the boy was named 'Hajime', after your brother.

Fun Fact:

There was huge drama between you, Tooru, and Hajime. You guys were in your late teenage years and Hajime suddenly realizes his love for Tooru. You were sort of devastated when Tooru couldn't really deny his feelings for Hajime. Could you really blame them?

But in the end, Tooru chose you. He made sure he gave you all the attention and love after that, doing whatever he could to gain your trust back again. And Hajime apologized profusely to you so many times. You weren't really happy with him but you managed. You two became close again after a talk with your parents.

As old people, you both passed peacefully in each other's arms at a nursing home.

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blackenedsnow · 2 months ago

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HELL0 HELOOO

I WATCHED A NEW K DRAMA MOVIE AND I DONT KNOW WHY BUT SHADOW EXACTLY FITS THIS REQUEST. (K-drama name:midnight)

Shadow and reader lived together, but the reader was deaf and could only speak sign language, although she could speak the language, she could not speak. Anyway, while the reader was walking on the street by herself, she saw a wounded girl and went there. The girl was screaming for help, reader could not hear her but she knew how to read mouth, she bend down and tried to help the wounded girl, when the girl pointed behind her she slowly gulped and looked behind her the serial killer was waiting behind her, Unable to scream or call for help, while the killer was about to attack both of them, the reader managed to bend down and run without looking back, also the girl started running without looking back. But the killer sh0t her she dropped dead, while the reader continued running calling shadow but she couldnt her phone was dead she looked behind and the killer was running so fastly she continued to run to her home which took a while,

They had arrived at the popular spot in the city,the killer was running after her, but the reader tried to hack it, but the killer made up a lie and tried to take her away. She finally run away but she found the killer trying to trick a woman nd she had no choice but ran towards the lady tried to stop her she had a knife in her hand, she stabbed the killer..no...wha?..she stabbed herself but she made the killer hold the knife. Everyone gathered early and the police arrived,even shadow. (Nice plot twist right? I mean if you watched it)

__What would he do? Seeing his crush getting st1bbed..

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS 🤭

silent shadow

WARNING: Violence, near-death experiences, major character injury, emotional distress.

PAIRING: Shadow The Hedgehog x (Fem) Deaf! Reader

NOTE: This one was really fun and intense to write! Enjoy! 🤭I really hope I got this right.. I probably didn't but oh well

SUMMARY: Living with Shadow, you’ve grown accustomed to his quiet but protective nature. Being deaf hasn’t stopped you from communicating, though you rely on sign language. One night, when you come across a wounded girl on the street, you’re thrown into a dangerous game of survival against a relentless serial killer. Your only hope is reaching Shadow before it’s too late.

The cool night breeze brushed against your skin as you made your way down the dimly lit street. You liked the quiet. It was peaceful, and it gave you a break from the world that never stopped moving. Your phone was tucked away in your pocket, and you absently glanced around, taking in the familiar sights of the neighborhood. Shadow was home, probably brooding as usual, but you needed to stretch your legs after a long day.

It wasn’t long before you noticed someone up ahead—a girl, frantic and stumbling, covered in blood. Your heart leapt into your throat. She was screaming something, but you couldn’t hear the sounds. Still, you knew how to read lips, and her terrified expression told you everything you needed to know.

“Help me. Please help.”

You hurried toward her, kneeling beside her as she collapsed to the ground. The girl was shaking, pointing behind you, her mouth forming the words, “He’s here. He’s coming.”

Your stomach dropped. Slowly, you turned, and there he was—a tall figure looming in the shadows, watching you with a twisted smile that sent chills down your spine. The serial killer.

He stood there, casually waiting, like he was enjoying the fear washing over you. Your mind raced. You couldn’t scream for help; no one would hear you. And your phone was dead.

The girl beside you was trembling, her breath shallow. You had to act fast. Without thinking, you bolted, grabbing the girl’s hand and yanking her up. You ran without looking back, your feet pounding the pavement, but she didn’t make it far. A sharp crack echoed behind you, and you glanced back just in time to see her drop lifelessly to the ground, a bullet wound in her back.

The world seemed to slow down. She was dead. But you couldn’t stop. The killer was still chasing you, his footsteps growing louder and faster as he closed the distance between you.

Shadow.

You reached for your phone again, desperately hoping for some battery life, but it was still dead. Panic surged through your veins as you pushed yourself harder, weaving through the empty streets. You needed to get home. Shadow was the only one who could help you now.

The chase seemed to stretch on forever. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your legs burning with exhaustion, but you couldn’t stop. Not with him so close behind.

You stumbled into the city center, a busy square that was always full of people, even at this late hour. You thought you were safe. You thought you could blend in, disappear among the crowd. But the killer was smart—too smart. He approached calmly, weaving a different story to the bystanders, trying to play the part of a concerned citizen.

“She’s dangerous,” he lied smoothly to a nearby woman. “She’s the one who attacked that girl back there. You need to stay away from her.”

You managed to slip away, your heart pounding in your chest. As you ran, your eyes fell on a woman up ahead—the killer had reached her first. He was trying to trick the woman, feeding her lies just as he had before. The woman looked confused, vulnerable. There wasn’t much time.

With no other choice, you sprinted toward the lady, your breath ragged. You had to stop him. You had to end this.

Your hand gripped the knife you'd found on the ground earlier. Without thinking, you plunged it forward—but something went wrong. The killer was quick, and in one swift move, he twisted your action. The knife wasn’t in him—it was in you.

You had stabbed yourself.

But you made sure to grab his hand and wrap it around the knife, making it look like he had done it. Pain radiated through your body as you collapsed to the ground, blood spilling from the wound.

A crowd gathered around you as you collapsed, blood spilling from your wound. The killer stood frozen, the knife still in his hand. It looked like he had stabbed you, not the other way around.

Police sirens wailed in the distance, and everything became a blur. You could feel yourself slipping, the world spinning as the pain dragged you under. But even as darkness crept in, you hoped—prayed—that Shadow would come soon.

When Shadow finally arrived, the first thing he saw was you lying on the ground, surrounded by a sea of horrified onlookers. Your blood stained the pavement, and the killer was being dragged away in handcuffs. The officers were barking orders, but none of that mattered to him.

All he saw was you.

He sprinted over, dropping to his knees beside you, his usual cold demeanor shattered by panic. His hands hovered over your body, unsure of what to do, his heart hammering in his chest.

"Why did this happen…" His voice was low, filled with a fury that he was holding back, trembling with rage and fear.

Your eyes fluttered open, barely, and you could see the anguish on his face. His crimson eyes, usually filled with resolve, were wide with desperation.

Shadow… You signed weakly, your hands trembling. I’m… sorry.

“Don’t you dare apologize,” he growled, grabbing your hand, holding it tight as if he could somehow keep you from slipping away. “You… you’re going to be fine. I’ll fix this. I always fix things.”

You could feel the warmth leaving your body, but even through the haze of pain, there was something comforting in the way Shadow refused to let go of you. His grip was firm, strong—like he was anchoring you to life.

His breath hitched as he glanced down at the blood pooling around you. He didn’t know what to do. He could face any enemy, tear through any obstacle, but this—watching you suffer, helpless and bleeding—this was something he couldn’t fight.

“Stay with me,” he whispered, his voice breaking in a way you’d never heard before. “You can’t leave. Not like this.”

The paramedics arrived, but they had to pry Shadow away from you, forcing him to stand back as they worked to stabilize you. His hands were clenched into fists, his body rigid with barely controlled anger. He felt helpless, something he hated. He wanted to lash out, destroy the killer who had done this to you, but you needed him more.

When they finally loaded you into the ambulance, Shadow followed, refusing to leave your side. His eyes never left your face, watching for any sign that you were still with him.

As the ambulance sped through the city, sirens blaring, Shadow reached for your hand again. His usual bravado was gone, replaced with a quiet intensity. He wasn’t going to let you go. Not now. Not ever.

“I’m here,” he whispered, his voice low but filled with determination. “You’re going to be okay. You hear me? You’re going to be okay.”

Hours passed in a blur, but eventually, you woke up in the hospital. The sterile lights overhead made you squint, your body aching all over. But you were alive.

And there, sitting beside you, his hand still holding yours, was Shadow.

He looked up as you stirred, his eyes locking onto yours with a mix of relief and something else—something softer, deeper.

I’m okay, you signed, offering a weak smile.

Shadow let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He squeezed your hand, leaning closer.

“You scared the hell out of me,” he muttered.

You gave a small smile, though it hurt.

But as Shadow leaned in, pressing his forehead gently against yours, you knew—no matter what happened, no matter how dangerous things got—he would always be there.

Always watching. Always protecting you.

#shadow the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog x reader #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic fanfic #x reader #oneshot #ask #request #fanfic #sonic fanfiction

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sappy-seresin · 2 years ago

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Little Insomniac (J. Seresin)

Pairing: Jake Seresin x roommate!reader

Summary: You're dealing with an ongoing struggle to sleep, and Jake wants to help. Volume Two

Warnings: nothing really, just fluff.

Word Count: 3k

MY WORK IS ORIGNIAL AND IS NOT TO BE COPIED OR REPOSTED ELSEWHERE. Be kind and don't steal other people's writing, thank you.

Gif creds: @jakeseresins

Jake stirs awake before his alarm has the chance to go off. Yawning, he wipes the sleep from his eyes before groggily reaching for his phone to check the time. 5:45, it reads, though he has to squint to make sure because his eyes are still bleary from just waking up. He lets himself yawn one more time before moving to sit at the edge of his bed, a gentle grunt falls from his lips as he enjoys his first big stretch of the day, preparing his muscles for his usual morning run.

Knowing that he’ll have plenty of time to get ready once he’s back, he swaps his sweatpants out for a pair of running shorts and slips on a coordinating shirt. He turns toward his bedside table to grab his headphones, immediately sticking them into his ears and scrolling through his phone to find his playlist, “Run Like Hell.” His head gently bobs to the best of the music once he’d hit shuffle as he finishes getting ready by sliding his running shoes on.

He makes sure to walk quietly as he passes your room. You won’t be waking up for another hour, at least, and he’s not keen on giving you a wake up call sooner than you have planned. He accidentally woke you up one morning shortly after the two of you signed this lease and it resulted in a rather heated reprimand from a rather hungover, half asleep, version of you that came stumbling out of your room with a baseball bat thinking someone broke in. Since then, he’s intentionally light on his feet, careful not to cause another scene.

Jake smiles at the memory of your disheveled state. You were slightly tipsy from the night before with pillow lines on your face and an unruly bun knotted on top of your head as you incoherently scolded him for nearly giving you a heart attack. In that moment, all he could do was blink at you like a deer in the headlights, trying not to focus too much on the fact that all you were wearing was an oversized shirt that covered everything above your mid thighs, leaving your toned legs on full display.

His trip to memory lane is clouded with confusion when he notices light radiating through the hallway from the living room. He got home after you did last night and swore he shut the lamp off before retreating to his bedroom. His feet carry him toward the light, stopping in the tracks when he notices your form on the couch. You’re seated comfortably with your feet splayed on the coffee table balancing your laptop on your knees, wearing that same damn t-shirt.

“What’re you doing up? You never beat me,” he questions, pulling one earphone out and adjusting the volume on his phone so he can hear you. His presence had gone unnoticed by you, so the sudden question made you jump in, your head snapping toward him in shock.

“Jesus Jake,” your hand flies to your heart in an attempt to ease its rapid beating, a quiet “whew” falling from your lips as you compose yourself, tilting the screen of your laptop down so you can see him better. “Why do move so quiet? You scared me half to death!”

“Sorry darlin’, I didn’t mean to scare you. Just surprised to see you awake so early. Like I said, you never beat me,” there’s an apologetic smile etched onto Jake’s soft features. He scratches the back of his head sheepishly, his eyes never leaving you when he moves into the kitchen to grab a water bottle, promptly opening it and taking a swig. He stalks back to the living room, wordlessly offering you the water, which you gladly accept.

“Can you actually categorize it as beating you if I haven’t slept?” you ask after gulping the cool liquid down. You hand the bottle back to him, nuzzling deeper into your position on the couch when he moves to sit next to you, pulling his other earbud out so that you know you have his full attention.

He stares at you in confusion after processing what you said. Sure, your sleeping patterns have always been odd to him, but a night of not seeming at all raises several questions, “You didn’t sleep?”

“No,” you sigh, completely closing your computer and discarding it onto the coffee table in front of you.

“Why not? I thought you said that you're ahead at work and don't have to stress about extra planning?" He slings his arm over the back of the couch, his fingers barely brushing across the fabric of your t-shirt. He ignores the temptation to drop his hand from the coach so that it rests fully on your shoulder, knowing it's not the time to tease the butterflies awakening in his stomach at the faint smell of your perfume.

"I am," you affirm looking over at him, his close proximity has you feeling at ease with a hint of bashfulness. "It's not work. It's nothing like that really. I just-I don't know, I can spend the entire day exhausted but I'm wide awake as soon as my head hits a pillow."

Jake nods, pulling his attention away from you to ponder if there's anything he can do. After a few seconds of comfortable silence, he returns his gaze to you, taking notice of the prominent bags under your eyes. Your exhaustion coats your features, coating you with a dreamlike state while you zone out on nothing. He bumps your shoulder gently, stealing your attention back. "Is there something bothering you?"

Your head shakes in response, an involuntary yawn falling from your parted lips. You pull your legs up to your chest, hooking your arms around them to hold them in place, and it takes everything in Jake's power to not focus on the fact that the movement made your oversized t-shirt rise up. He clears his throat, returning his thoughts back to the conversation rather than continuing to mentally admire your effortless beauty.

"Okay," he hums, "Well, can you at least take the day off to let yourself rest? I'm sure you'd crash if you got in bed now."

"I can't," you groan, running a hand over your face in frustration. "We have a major meeting today, and I'm running it because ninety-five percent of the team can't manage to do their jobs." There's a sympathetic look sent your way which only adds to the helplessness embedding itself in your entire being. All your impending schedule brings you is an unshakable dread due to how desperately sleep deprived you already feel.

"Okay," he repeats, standing from the couch. "Well, since you can't get out of it today, what do you say we go grab breakfast at that coffee shop you like downtown? My treat. It's not sleep, but it's the best I can do unless you're willing to let me call your boss and telling him to postpone the meeting."

You blink at him, a lazy smile twitching at the edge of your lips. "You know you don't have to do that right? I'm a big girl and can caffeinate myself."

"I know, but I want to. Besides, there's no way in hell I'm letting your sleep deprived ass drive yourself around town today. The last thing this town needs is a delirious Y/n Y/l/n operating a vehicle. Now, how about you go put some pants on so you don't catch a public indecency charge?" He's shooting you his signature 'Seresin smirk' now, which you can't refuse, so you take his outstretched hand and let him help you up.

******************

A few days later, you're parked in that same position on the couch with your legs strewn over Jake's lap as the two of you watch the latest episode of 'The Rookie." There's been a comfortable silence in the room for awhile now, both of you fully engrossed in what's playing on the screen. Jake's fingers periodically draw circles against your clothed shins, a mindless habit of his that you've grown to love, while he makes a few side comments about Tim and Lucy's relationship Which you, being a lover of the slow burning couple, always agree with.

The episode comes to a close, leaving you both with anticipation for the shows continuation next week. Watching the Rookie became a weekly tradition when you became roommates after Jake came home from the bar one night, interrupting your peaceful binge watching. He made fun of the show at first, but forced you to restart it completely because he wanted to be completely caught up on everything it had to offer before deciphering whether or not he liked it. It took measly three episodes and he was hooked, which he denied by telling you he only watches it to bond with you. The way he lost himself in the screen, laughing and cracking jokes, was a tell-tale sign that he was hooked.

“It's late, I’m gonna head to bed,” Jake tells you after several unspoken moments, standing from his comfortable position and carefully repositioning your legs on the cushions. He stretches with a hefty yawn, running a hand over his face. You wordlessly watch him, enjoying the extra gravel to his voice that always comes when he's tired. “Want me to turn the lights off?”

“I'll get them. I think I’m going to be up awhile," you decline, straightening up to reach for the journal you left on the table before he came home.

“Still not sleeping?” He yawns again, watching as you get situated in a manner that tells him you are gearing for a long night.

You scoff, shaking your head in response to his question. One glance his way fills you in on the fact that he wants more of an explanation than that. "I've averaged maybe eight hours total this week, if you can count the baby naps my assistant lets me take during breaks. I swear I could run a marathon and still not be exhausted enough to encourage my body to rest."

“What about this? How about you let me take you to bed and we’ll try something new to help you sleep," he offers. Hope fills his green eyes momentarily before draining when you snort comically.

"Hangman, are you using my sleep deprivation as an excuse to get in my pants? I know I'm undeniably attractive, but that's a new level of low, even for Jake 'the heartbreaker' Seresin," you hadn't meant for the words to spill from your lips and regret them almost immediately. Yet, your raised eyebrows challenge him rather than showing any sign of lighthearted remorse.

“I’m going to blame your hostility on sleep deprivation instead of taking what you just said personally,” there’s a playful grin curved onto his cheeks as he peers down at the disdained expression you’re directing at him. “Now, come on grumpy, let’s get you some sleep,” You groan when he grabs your hands, shifting his weight so he can pull you off the couch. You fight against him, not wanting to let go of the comfortable position you’d fallen into. “Jesus, would you stop being a brat.” He can’t help but laugh as you continue making yourself dead weight to lessen his chances of dragging you off the couch. “Fine, two can play at this game.”

“What-JAKE,” an involuntarily squeal of surprise bubbles from your chest when he bends down, both his hands on your hips, and slings you over his shoulder effortlessly. He laughs as you smack against his back while he flicks the lights off, guiding the two of you toward your room.

“Put me down peasant,” you chant through your own fit of giggles. He simply shakes his head at your antics, carefully weaving through your bedroom before dropping you on top of your bed in a heap. Your giggles die down the longer you admire his lighthearted expression. You cough to try to keep yourself from ogling him like an idiot. It’s hard not to when he’s staring at you like you’re the creator of the jet planes he loves so much. “Couldn’t have given me a gentler landing?”

Jake rolls his eyes, feigning a scoff. “You asked me to put you down, and I put you down. Don’t go giving me a bad yelp review because you weren’t more specific, princess.” There’s a slight twinkle in his eye as the nickname flows off his tongue, smooth as silk. You mentally curse the involuntary heat rushing to your cheeks at the pet name, unable to suppress a bashful smile.

“Fair point,” you reply simply, fighting to keep yourself from spiraling at the sight of your roommate still towering over your splayed figure. He’d showered about an hour ago so his normally styled hair is laying against his forehead comfortably, the scent of his body wash ghosts your nostrils as he scratches the back of his neck, making it even harder not to swoon because he smells so good. “Are you going to tell me what your master plan to help me sleep is, or should I go ahead and preorder extra shots of espresso to keep me functioning tomorrow?”

Jake straightens up at the realization that he’d gotten sidetracked from his initial plan, a dubious grin plasters itself on his face as he moves to turn my bedroom light off, carefully making his way back to my bed in the dark.

“Jake, I hate to break it to you but simply putting me into bed isn’t going to help me sleep, if that’s all it took-what’re you doing?” Your question is left unanswered as he pulls the covers back on the side of the bed you’re not laying on, pausing to stare at you through the dark.

“I’m climbing in bed,” he states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, fully situating himself under the covers. You stare at him like he’s got two heads, not understanding how his master plan to get you to sleep involves him fully being in bed with you. You’ve had daydreams about curling up in bed with him, falling asleep to the even rhythm of his heart beat, but those were simply fantasies about the man you have a complicated crush on because, well, he’s your roommate. Of course, the two of you are close enough that you’ve fallen asleep on his shoulder on more than one occasion but it’s never been intention and those moments definitely haven’t occurred in a bed.

“You’re in my bed,” you observe, still frozen in place on top of the covers.

“Yes, Y/n, I’m in your bed. Now, would you stop being difficult? Get your ass up here and let me do my job,” his voice is gentle but holds a certain demand that has you obliging immediately. Climbing up next to him, you allow him to lift the covers so that you can slide under them. You leave a comfortable amount of space between the two of you, though it feels awkward with the heat radiating from his body. “What the hell are you doing?”

“What? You told me to climb in with you, so I climbed in with you?” An exasperated groan sounds from his side of the bed, earning an embarrassed blush from you, completely at a loss as to what you did wrong. “It’s not my fault that you’ve managed to leave out legitimately every detail of your master plan.”

In response, Jake’s arms wrap around your waist, immediately tugging you closer to him until you’re practically laying on top of him. “Get comfortable, sweetheart,” he murmurs simply, as if him holding you in your bed is a normal occurrence that shouldn’t have a fit of butterflies going rampant in your stomach. “Stop overthinking it and get situated.” His request comes after a few beats of you remaining frozen in the awkward position he pulled you into. You lift your head to meet his eyes, looking for affirmation that you’re hearing him right. When his hand trails over your face to brush your hair from your eyes, you suck in an audible breath, the gentle touch sending shivers down your spine as he leans his head close enough to yours that his breath fans against your face. “Let me hold you tonight."

"Okay," you breathe, carefully rolling onto your stomach. You shift yourself just enough to comfortably rest your head against his chest, fully allowing yourself relax into him as the faint sound of his heartbeat greets your ears. Jake's arms find a home around your waist again, a content sigh falling from his lips at the fact that you're fully nuzzled into him.

"Comfy?" His question is hopeful as he mindlessly draws comforting circles on your back, the simple movement paired with the comfort of his arms already causing your eyes to grow heavy.

"So comfy," you yawn, melting into him further. One of your hands fist his t-shirt while his find a spot in your hair, gently massaging your scalp.

"Good," he kisses the crown of your head, secretly feeling pleased by the way you're already fighting to keep your eyes open after seeming confident that he couldn't do anything to cure your insomnia. "Get some rest, sweetheart." You don't need his permission to sleep, but his words are the final thing you remember before slipping into a sweet slumber.

Jake knows you're out by the way your body grows a little heavier. Light snores fall from your lips every so often, warming his chest at the fact that you feel safe enough to let him assist you. While tiredness scratches the back of his eyes, he can't keep himself from observing your sleeping figure, a soft smile curves onto his lips at the adorable sight. As your roommate, he doesn't want to admit it, but he's dreamed of a moment like this from the second the two of you signed the lease for this place. Neither of you had been each others first choice in the roommate department, but after so long of roommates falling through, he proposed the idea and you accepted. You were friends back then, but weren't close enough for sharing an apartment to feel normal. Yet, when the time came to move in, your lives melted together seamlessly.

Jake's hand continues weaving through your hair, the act making him feel soft while you sleep soundly on his chest. He can't help but admire your peaceful features now that all signs of stress and exhaustion are erased from your face. You've always been attractive to Jake but right now, while you're snoring softly on his chest, he swears you're the most beautiful sight he's ever laid eyes on.

It's harder for him to continue fighting his own sleep the longer the peace of the night weighs on his eyelids so he carefully shifts the two of you into a more comfortable position. He holds his breath when you stir, but releases it when your head lulls back to place on his chest.

"Sweet dreams, pretty girl," he finds himself whispering, giving you one last glance before letting his eyes flutter shut. They snap back open when you mumble incoherently in your sleep, a sigh rolling from your parted lips.

"I love you Jake," the words are slightly slurred when they roll from your tongue, but Jake hears them clear as day. His eyes widen in surprise, never having heard you utter those words. He feels humbled by the unconscious confession, his heart swelling at the thought of the words holding an unshakeable truth.

******************

A/n: Another Jake fic while I continue working on Fawn Volume 2! I'm hoping to have the second part of Fawn posted before the week ends, I'm just finding that I'm pressuring myself with it a little because I love the storyline in my head so much that I'm scared to mess it up :')

Part Two

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piss-pumpkin · 7 months ago

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☕️ Unfortunately for us, ☕️

Dipper pines x reader, Douce amere chapter 17, ~6.1k words (sorry guys) Masterlist prev

When Dipper looked at you, he saw Bill. In everything: every minute movement, every word you spoke, every breath you breathed was a reminder that he was there too. Avoidance. If not seeing you meant not seeing him, he could live with that. Maybe.

He wasn’t sure where you slept on the first night, because it wasn’t with him. That was new. He guessed you were on the couch in Soos’ break room, but he didn’t want to check.

It was no surprise that he couldn’t sleep. He stared at the ceiling, dead tired but unable to close his eyes. Nightmares weren’t new, nor unfamiliar, but they usually only affected him when he was asleep. Now they seemed to perforate even blinks. The ceiling was old wood, a few panels with stains, and the faded finish were enough to tell him just how aged it was. The rafters were clean though, somebody must have dusted it before the summer so they’d sleep better. The walls too, all clean. Mabel’s side less so, now that he noticed. Across the room he saw the faint sparkle of glitter along the walls by the moonlight.

He studied the room with dry eyes, blinking in moderation to avoid the dark. Or better, whenever he had to, he dug the heels of his palms into his eye sockets so the swirling colours blocked out anything his mind conjured up. Usually you were there to help with that.

His heart ached, and a few points on his arms from where you attacked him. Where Bill attacked him, he clarified to himself. But the line was blurry. This bed was entirely too big without you there. That was almost absurd enough to make him laugh, considering it was just barely larger than a twin.

At least you both survived. Dipper groaned, half hoping to wake up Mabel so she’d come talk to him. But she was dead tired too, and Dipper had to do this alone. Unless you were awake.

He shook his head without realizing, his body answering that question for him; no, he can’t go see you. That might kill him faster than sleep deprivation. But you were probably up too. He knew well enough you might be tossing and turning just below him. It was going to be a long night.

…

Dipper trudged down the stairs, far too early in the morning for his usual liking, eyes to the steps to keep from tripping. But his legs were made of lead, or some heavy metal; they were completely weighing him down. Every step was a fight with gravity to stay on his feet. The good side of no sleep was his lack of brain power. He was running in survival instincts. His eyes looked down to stop from falling, his hands slid on the rail for the same, his body moved to find some sort of sustenance, and all without a single thought. Shutting those out seemed to be the best.

Coffee. That was a good goal. Short term, easily archivable, and its accomplishment would help him greatly; it was perfect.

He wiped his eyes as he stumbled almost blindly to the kitchen. The shack was quiet, the rest surely not awake yet. The more Dipper looked around, he realized it was still dark out. Or more like dim. A bit of dull moonlight was still shining through the windows.

The lights were on in a few rooms. Probably Mabel. Forgetful Mabel. Dipper flicked off the lights in the living room and the hall as he got closer. The kitchen light was on too.

Dipper got to the doorframe, and froze, breath hitching in his chest. And it looked like you did the same.

On the floor, against the cupboards, was you, sat in pyjamas, cradling a pot of coffee like it was your baby with a half full mug on the tile beside you. Your phone, noticeably on the lowest brightness, was almost slipping out of your loose grip. And Dipper wanted to look away, because it was clear you’d been crying, you wore all the telltale signs. Swollen eyelids, a little puffy, a little red. He hated noticing it. A pit formed in his stomach without a moments warning. Of course you had the same idea as him. Why not? Why the fuck not. Same brain.

He took shaky breaths on even shakier legs. Your pupils looked normal. But knowing that meant he was looking at your wide and tired eyes as you looked up at him. It was a double edged sword. He gripped the door frame for balance. With his bad hand. He winced as his palm flew into the wood, straining the wrist that you…Bill- stepped on.

You flinched as he did. Like you could feel it from across the room. And you stared down into the coffee pot because maybe you both felt that looking at each other was painful. But Dipper didn’t have the self preservation instincts to follow your lead. It was all he could do to stay breathing. It was when you spoke that Dipper was knocked out of his head.

“Do you..” you started, voice rough, shaky, dead tired. Probably from crying, if he had to guess. You looked up at him again, “do you want some?” You offered. An olive branch maybe.

Yeah. That’s why I’m here. Dipper tensed, looking you over again, and turned away, half the tiredness evaporated from his body. He was almost in the shape to run. As fast as he could’ve he raced and hobbled back through the shack, back up the stairs, back into the dark room where his sister still slept. Back away. Back away. He didn’t get to see your reaction. As it should be.

He carefully shut the door behind him, and stared at it for a few moments. You weren’t on the other side. You weren’t on the other side. Bill wasn’t on the other side. He rested his head against the door, a quiet sigh escaping his lips. You and weren’t on the other side of that door. You were downstairs, probably drinking coffee straight out of the pot, maybe crying. And he was doing nothing about that. Mabel’s soft snores grounded him to reality, at least. He could never be certain if you were on the other side of that door, or if you were Bill, but he knew Mabel was behind him. Asleep in her bed.

He couldn’t stay here.

He eyed Mabel, pursed his lips, and grabbed his backpack. What did he have? Laptop, a couple snacks, his journal was on the bedside table. He carefully slipped it in, zipped it up, pocketed a pen, and slung it over his shoulder. He didn’t bother getting dressed in more than his crumpled pyjamas before he left.

Down the stairs again, steadier this time. Through the hall again, more certain this time. He once looked back through the dark living room, at the light leaking out from the kitchen, and listened for the soft noises of mugs being set down, coffee swirling, phone tapping, even. He looked, listened, and turned away, straight for the door, opened and closed slowly and quietly. So nobody wouldn’t notice.

The shack was Bill proof, meaning while you- the both of you, were inside, Bill was locked up. So it was the outside now, that was safe. Dipper started blindly to the woods without a plan, thought or trail. At least day was getting closer. The sky was lightening. Maybe there was some interesting and distracting creature that only came out at dawn that he could investigate, since he’s never up at this time. Maybe there was something new to discover out there.

He nearly tripped on the way in. It seemed he forgot to tie his shoe. Sighing he tied it, and then started deeper into the forest. Deeper, deeper, yet deeper. A left turn, a right, a path followed, a trail created through the brush. Avoiding any clearing that resembled the one from yesterday. He didn’t know the way there, and he intended to keep it that way.

Dipper ended up in the fantasy part of the woods, where fae folk met in tree stumps, and crystals grew and shimmered around the forest floor. But that was too obvious. To explored. The sun peaking over the horizon now, breaking through the trees. How long had he been gone? Whatever. Doesn’t matter.

He walked. And walked. And trudged and stepped and nearly tripped and did trip and stumbled and even ran at times, all away from the shack until the sun was high overhead and the afternoon was rolling along.

But then he came to a part of the forest he’d not yet seen before. Not quite a clearing, more of a grove. The trees thinned, but the canopy let in only spots of light shine through. He couldn’t see it, but he heard a stream, maybe a river, trickling somewhere beside him. Best of all though, the grove was edged by a cliff face, with moss running down the side and a few vines. And Dipper lit up when he saw the cave.

On the side of the cliff, was a hole. And it looked deep. And as Dipper stopped to study it from a distance, he heard little scampers and drips coming from inside, and he knew he was a goner. He pulled out his journal, pen, clicked it a few times, and started inside.

The walls were stone, and seemed black by the dim light. Somewhere further in, Dipper barely made out the shimmer of light reflected on water, and his curiosity only burned brighter thinking about what the source could be so deep in the mountain. The floor was rough at the entrance, but quickly smoothed the deeper he ventured in, and small streams were all leading down.

The drips and water only got louder the further he ventured in, and the light disappeared behind him. Working on instinct he slowed down, pulled out a flashlight, and cautiously continued. He wasn’t sure how this was less scary than the shack right now. But it was. This was mystery, this was nature. This was a hunt for something. Whatever that was. Dipper wasn’t sure. Either way, this was an animal urge, to find out and explore, something he didn’t need think about. A motion and routine he’d grown quite used to. This cave could have been a war zone for him when he was younger, more frightened, but today? A haven.

The cave narrowed into one tunnel, which seemed built for him. It was… person sized, a little taller than his height. And the floor was smooth enough he needed to hold the walls to keep from slipping down the water he was forced to trudge through. It all led to the small pool. Dipper heart felt electric as he realized that’s where this culminated. He clicked the pen with whichever hand wasn’t on the smooth walls.

The shimmer of the water drew him in, like blue moonlight shined at him. The flashlight wasn’t needed here. The tunnel widened into a… chamber, of sorts. Like a room. Maybe a temple. It seemed like one. The running water flowed all down the walls from some mysterious source far above him, but failed to flood through.

Rabidly, he started to write. All those details. The shine, the falls, the cave itself, and he drew. Even if this wasn't magical, which seemed out of the question all things considered, it would be nice to document. Maybe he could take you here, you’d probably find it pretty. Nope. He shook his head. Nope. Don’t go there. A few lines of his drawing were shaky.

Then something drew his attention. In the pool, more like a puddle, which marked the centre of the blue and glowy cave chamber, he saw something. More specifically, him. He saw himself, and suddenly the journal lowering to his side.

Seeing yourself in the reflection of water wasn’t abnormal, and completely divorced from paranormal. What made it odd, though, was the angle. Dippers first thought was of math. By where he was standing, the pool should not reflect him the way it did: he saw himself closer to it, as if he was knelt beside it looking in. Or… the other him was looking out.

And this was a siren song to him. He did as he was told. He knelt beside the puddle, knees splashing in the stream, viciously scribbling notes into his journal that when he could barely read if he tried.

The reflection smiled, and turned around, and Dipper did the same. There was nothing. Just the cave. And he could squint to see the light of the outside behind him. Nothing. He looked back, and his eyes grew wide.

The electric curiosity in his heart dissipated in a single breath. Behind the other him, was Mabel and you. You both came up behind him with lightning speed, landing and steadying yourself on his shoulders, shaking him a little. Oh god. Dippers face fell further as he watched, paralyzed. You both seemed excited, and he looked like he was laughing along with whatever idiot game you two wanted to play. Like usual. Like normal.

He sunk further into the cave floor, his whole legs into the shallow stream. Carefully, he closed his journal on his lap, and watched.

Stan and Ford made an appearance too. Ford came up beside Mabel and started excitedly explaining something to her, surely. He knew that face on him, that was what Ford looked like when he was proud, maybe had a brilliant idea, or maybe a stupid one. The kind of idea Mabel would love. And Stan spoke to you, like he was telling you a joke, or maybe you did something to make him proud, too. In his annoying Grunkle way, he ruffled your hair.

What was this? The pool seemed to entrance him, and he had the good sense to notice. He jerked his head away and stared at the wall for a moment before anyone else could make an appearance. What is this place? He, slower this time, made note in his journal. This was weird. A mystery. Isn’t that what he came for? To solve some problem, investigate something crazy?

He looked back. The scene was nearly the same. Just… his family. He ignored he pit growing in his stomach for the second time that day. He swallowed, and something tasted like burning. Maybe it was his heart in his throat. They all looked very happy.

With curious and careless hand, he reached out, and touched the water. The touch felt electric. Static. He pulled his hand away with apprehension.

The touch was short, barely broke the surface, but the ripples washed the image away completely, and he was alone again. And the drips and running water felt so much louder, even if his heart pounded in his ears. What just happened?

He blinked. Maybe this wasn’t a mystery he wanted to solve today, actually. If nothing else, it reminded him; maybe he should be somewhere else, right now.

He stood, suddenly remembering his legs were drenched, and cringed. There were things in that reflection that were impossible. He thought again of you, and shook his head more violently this time. But there are places he should be. People he could talk to. Sighing, he left the cave.

…

The sun was actually low, maybe a few hours from setting when he got back. There were horrors in that shack. He stood outside a moment. He could avoid the horrors. He could. If he was lucky.

When he stepped up to the door, he didn’t get the chance to open it. Before he could react, it sprang open and out jumped Mabel, straight into a tackling hug. The wind was halfway knocked out of him, but he smiled. Maybe even laughed through wheezing as she practically squeezed the life out of him.

”Broooooo,” she said. Not a coherent thought, but maybe they had twin telepathy, because he understood it perfectly.

“I knowwww,” he groaned, wrapping his arms around her. He didn’t realize his knees were starting to give in until she adjusted to hold his weight better.

Once again, more melancholic this time, “Bro,” she said.

“Yeah,” he moped. Yeah. This did suck. And he didn’t know how it happened, or why, or how, and he bailed on them today. But he had to do that. “Right?” He laughed. Mabel would understand.

She groaned, slightly too loudly into his ear, and he winced. “Come on, they’re by the exhibits with Grunkle Stan,” she said, slowly letting go of him so he could regain his balance. “And tonight’s a scary movie marathon of only crappy sequels.”

Dipper thought a moment, mostly about nothing, and then nodded, following behind her. He shut the door as he passed though. Bills in this house. He shook his head. Nope. Don’t go there.

The shack was a comfortable quiet. The dull hum of electronics offered a warm buzz to keep silence at bay. And the closer they drew to the living room, the more the sound of the tv covered even that. And when he sat on the couch, he could imagine things were normal, even though he hadn’t bothered to change into dry clothes. Like the reflection.

He and Mabel talked a little. About regular things, mostly. And he was tired enough for the nightmares to barely touch him before he fell asleep.

…

Bill Cipher. Dipper pines. His sister, friends, you, weirdmageddon. Hands around his neck. Your hands, this time. Not Bills. Flashes of unfortunate images blended with even worse memories played on repeat and burnt themselves into his brain.

Dipper shot up with a gasp, hands flying to his throat as he inspected it frantically. He could feel his pulse hammering just from a touch on his neck, and he couldn’t tell if the sweat was on his hands, or just his whole body. A single wipe of his brow revealed it was the latter. Holy shit. On instinct, his shaky hand patted the bed beside him. It was empty. Shit. He fought the instinctual thought that you might be dead.

He shuddered, curling his legs up close to him. Even if it was empty, he couldn’t tear his hand away from your spot on the mattress. Fuckkkkk. Breathing. Breathing. Deep breaths. Shaky breaths he tried to steady. Mabel was still asleep across the room, lightly snoring. He didn’t need to wake her. But it didn’t stop him from glancing over, which quickly devolved into staring. Her breathing seemed a lot easier than his.

How much more of this did he have to survive?

That morning he found you in the kitchen again. The same as yesterday, alone on the floor with your coffee, cup, and puffy eyes that looked up at him widely. At least this time he was desensitized. Instead of flinching and buckling in terror, he simply turned and walked away before… either of you could speak.

God, of course you were there. You really did have the same brain. Same as yesterday. No coffee for Dipper, because he was headed as far away from the kitchen as possible, stumbling through the living room with blurry vision, flushed face, shit he was totally crying. Or… almost crying, at least. He sniffled, blinding himself even further by eyes the ceiling to stop tears from falling. Because fuck that.

He hit the wall with his shoulder on the way upstairs to his room.

”Bro,” Mabel said as he stepped in. She was sitting up in her bed, eyes bagged and tired. “Dipper.”

“Oh sorry,” he murmured, wandering back to his own mattress. “Did I wake you?”

As he sat down, he heard her sniffle, and whipped his head around to see her sleepily trudging over to him, one of her stuffed animals hanging in her arms. She practically fell into the bed beside him as she sat down, and wiped her face on the sleeve of her nightgown, “Dip, are you alright?” She asked, voice tired and rough. “I didn’t get to ask you yesterday.”

She did? Well, kind of. They talked last night. Maybe no about… that. But close enough. Dipper pursed his lips. Guess checking in wasn’t a terrible idea. “I’m whatever,” he sighed, wrapping an arm around her. He sighed again staring at her bed. All her stuffed animals and plushes were near the headboard, rather them spread down the side with a few at the foot. All bunched up near where her head and arms would be. Guess she needed all the support she could get. “Hey, Mabel,” he started, turning back to her. “Awkward sibling hug?”

She nodded, “yes please.”

Dipper blinked, and realized he was barely crying now. He won, the tears didn’t fall. He turned, and wrapped his sister in his arms as she did the same, neither letting go for a good minute. Her hair tickled his face a little, and somehow that got a half smile out of him.

“Dip, do you think we’re gonna have to like-“ she paused, presumably to think. “-go through all that again?”

He was glad his head was still resting on her shoulder, because she couldn’t see the way his face fell. “I don’t know,” he admitted honestly. “I think… we have things under control for now, though.”

Her arms never loosened around him, and he could feel her chin move with her words, “Yeah.” She snorted a laugh, and Dipper smiled just slightly hearing it. “That unicorn hair just keeps coming in handy, huh?”

Dipper smiled, and moved his head to try and escape her hair, “yeah, you did good with that one.”

Mabel nodded, and held on a little longer, and then her arms slackened. “Pat, pat,” she said softly, patting his back before he let go. Dipper smiled, doing the same to her. Mabel Mabel Mabel. At least she was alright. She kicked her feet off the side of the bed idly, “Hey, you guys have another thing in common now, I guess,” she said.

“Pfft,” Dipper couldn’t help but scoff. She was right. And he hadn’t thought of that. “Yeah,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Yeah.”

“Are you gonna talk to them?”

”No,” he said.

Mabel nodded silently, and Dipper couldn’t read her face. “Are you gonna talk to Grunkle Ford?”

He hummed. That, he wasn’t sure. He probably should. Ford might have a plan, or know what to do. “Maybe,” he muttered, nodding along to himself. “Maybe later.” He wasn’t sure whether he wanted later to be the next minute, or never.

…

Another day. Another nightmare. Another early morning, maybe night, actually, where with hushed feet he made his way downstairs trying not to wake anyone. This time for real, this time maybe he could do it. Get the coffee. The more he imagined it the more it seemed like nectar of the gods, maybe the one thing that could cure him.

He managed just slightly more sleep though, small victories. It was basically sunrise when he made his journey downstairs this time. There was just enough light spilling in from the windows that he didn’t notice the light from under the kitchen door.

You startled him less the third time. Instead of a flinch and a jump, or an instinct reaction to flee, he decided to think. It was you and your coffee pot again, but you were laying with your back on the tile, staring at the ceiling before he walked in. Normal pupils. Blotchy face and puffy eyes. Just like yesterday. He winced as he saw. Don’t go there.

You were a coffee hog. And you were looking up at him, like a deer in headlights. Like he’d caught you.

He could survive. He could survive this, and survive that look. He eyed the coffee pot resting on your chest to get away from your terrified stare. It was looking like he’d fail his mission again.

“Do you… want some?” You asked, with all the same living tenderness and ragged sadness as last time. And Dipper had to steel himself, leaning against the doorframe with his forearm this time to avoid hurting the bruise on his wrist.

His eyes darted around as he looked at anything but you. Your stained coffee mug was on the ground beside you, still. A few cupboards were ajar, the rows of cups peeking out at him. The sugar was left out, as with a cooking pot. God, you were everywhere. There wasn’t a place he could look in this kitchen where he wouldn’t see you.

So he met your eyes. “Y/n,” he started, surprising himself with the steadiness of his voice. “Can I have the kitchen tomorrow?”

The question was almost funny. Like you two were divorced parents and he was fighting for custody of the room. You both seemed to love it, and it couldn’t be shared. The concept could’ve been funny if it didn’t make his heart burn and leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

You nodded, looking at the white tile floors instead of at him.

Okay. He sighed, nodding to you before leaving. Okay. Coffee tomorrow. After all this time. He walked aimlessly outside, sitting on the porch, and resting his head in his hands. God, were the two of you just stuck? He needed that coffee more than you, he really did. You should be fine without.

Dipper rubbed his temples. Don’t go there. But really though, what right did you have to be in such bad shape? Why were you still so shaken up. Shouldn’t that be reserved for the rest of them? Who actually lived the apocalypse? Ugh stop. He shook his head. He knew better than most being possessed wasn’t fun. You could have the coffee today, that was fine. Tomorrow was his day. He might die without it.

…

His thoughts seemed to ring true. He would die without it. That night, after avoiding people, doing a little seething, he had some of the worst nightmares yet. They all ended with his whole arms black and blue instead of just the wrist. And with several other people looking the same. Except you. Never you. You weren’t on the receiving end of anything like that. Your most striking feature was Bills manic smile, that you wore far too well, and that was practically burned into his brain. His subconscious seemed to love the image. And instead of reaching for your spot on the bed he just got up and left, brow furrowed. Coffee.

Oh god. His face fell into a scowl when he saw the light shine under the kitchen door. Not again.

Dipper sighed, hand clutching the doorframe. Same as always. Every fucking morning. He asked, but here you still were, same as always. Dipper never imagined he’d get used to the look of you crying, but it was getting far too familiar, and he was getting far too desensitized. “Y/n,” he said lowly, blinking long and slow. He took a deep breath before he spoke. He loved you. He loved you, he thought. Just to remind himself. “Y/n, do you really have nowhere better to be,” he said, gesturing at your spot on the floor. Every single time, right there. Sulking. He could feel his voice raising, almost against his will, “-Then right here, every morning.”

Like there was no escaping you. First in his dreams, and now this. His hand was shaking. Legs too, oh boy! He gripped the door frame harder, to steady his hands and his balance. He loved you. And he wasn’t looking at Bill. “I asked you yesterday,” he said glaring at the floor.

As much as he tried to avoid seeing you, perceiving you, he couldn’t help when you spoke. Eyes to the tiles. Eyes to the floor. You sniffed, voice shaky and soft, maybe even raw. Unlike how Dipper had ever heard you before all this. But it was a voice he was getting used to, “What?” you asked.

He clenched his fist, digging his nails into his palm until he broke the skin. Oh, fuck you. No. He could not do this. You only needed one word, one was all it took, and it felt like a stab wound. Or so he assumed, he’d never been stabbed. And he couldn’t resist a bit of torture, so he looked up at you, and that was a twist of the knife. He clenched his jaw. This is so stupid. “Can you just-” he shook his head, trying not to glare at you. “Can you just give me the kitchen?”

You sat there a moment, barely reacting, reminding him slightly of a wet kitten. “I-“ you started, staring up at him, then looking down at your coffee pot. Shakily, you stood up, and placed it on the counter behind you. “Okay,” you practically whispered.

You stood awkwardly a few feet in front of him, and he realized he should probably step aside. You didn’t meet his eyes when he did, and he was half glad. He might die if he saw them up closer, more detailed. They might seem sadder. “Y/n,” he sighed. “Can you… not be in here, tomorrow morning?” He asked, “please?”

You nodded, and left behind him, and the kitchen was empty. Your cup still say on the ground where it was beside you. The coffee pit was still half empty. Dipper sighed, completely alone. At least he had coffee. It didn’t taste as good as he’d hoped. Nothing like nectar if the gods.

What did you have to cry about? He shook his head. Don’t go there. No but really, though? You got yourself into this. You were the one who brought Bill here. It’s not like you’d ever met him before, it’s not like you had any… experiences… the way he did. Or any of the others, really. Did you even know what was at stake? You never lived the apocalypse. You didn’t have to survive that. So why were you so fucked up about this? Shouldn’t it be him crying on the floor, if anyone?

But no, here he was having to drink the coffee you brewed, keeping his shit together, mostly, while you were… that. Why did you have to bring him into this god damned Shack? He stared bitterly into his cup, and swirled the coffee around. It was lukewarm at best.

If only, what? If only he was with you when you found him? If only he noticed sooner? If only you had the common fucking sense to say something? Bill could’ve tricked you. But you could’ve said something. If only you didn’t find him. If only you did anything different. If only you weren’t in the woods that day? If only you were anywhere else. Like if you never came to Gravity Falls.

His gaze softened. Even in his head he was going too far. Was he? Is the world gonna end because you were at the wrong place at the wrong time? Or because he didn’t tell you enough? You should have had the common sense to tell somebody about a statue in the woods. You weren’t an idiot. Or so he thought. And suddenly he was right back to glaring at his mug. And yours, which he didn’t bother to pick up from the floor.

He knew better, maybe. He knew Bill tricked people, and he knew you weren’t stupid. And he knew you probably felt… some pretty strong emotions, right now. But what the fuck did you have to cry so hard about?

Don’t go there. Just don’t. At least he had the kitchen to himself for a while.

…

Again. Again, again again. He asked, again. And you didn’t listen. Again. On the floor of the kitchen, just like yesterday, just like the day before. Felt like fucking forever. Like you and him were stuck in that god damn kitchen, trapped by his early morning want for coffee and your inability to sulk anywhere else, with your half empty pot of coffee, and similarly stained mug. Every god damned time. How many days had it been? It all seemed to blend together. But the moral was: who in gods name were you still a wreck like this?

“Y/n,” Dipper started, running his hand through his greasy hair, catching on the tangles from days without brushing it. And he thought briefly about how on a normal day you might run your fingers through it, or at the very least spray him in the face with dry shampoo to tease him. And the more he thought of that the angrier he got. He took a breath. Breathe. “Y/n,” he said, hands shaking. “Come on.”

You looked up at him, face blotchy from tears, presumably. With a ragged and throaty voice, “What?” you asked. And he was forgetting you could sound any other way.

What do you mean, what? Get out. Of the stupid fucking kitchen. He deserved that. He deserved to go get coffee. “Why,” he said, taking a breath. Breathe, breathe, breathe. “-Why are you here?” He was talking with his hands now, gesturing wildly at you with each word, however shaky he might be.

“I-“ you started, hand halfway reaching out, then retracting to the safety of the handle of the coffee pot. You had a wide eyes, sad eyes, tired eyes, wild eyes, and Dipper winced as he saw the little red veins around your pupils. Your throat still scratched with each syllable, “I wanted coffee.”

Oh fuck off. He was shaking his head now, and his hands were still because they were balled into fists at his sides. “Y/n, fuck off,” he said, voice getting louder. And suddenly it was all rushing to the surface, and his body was moving on its own. He stepped forward pointing at you, and you reacted like it was a spell, shrinking into the floor and the cupboards. “You fucking brought Bill back,” he started, stepping again. “And you didn’t tell me anything until it was too late. Then you did this,” he yelled, joking up the fading yellowish and purple bruise on his wrist. Even after days of fading it still looked sickly.

It’s not that he didn’t notice your face falling, as you clutched the pot like a lifeline, it’s that he wasn’t done. “And for some fucking reason, after all that,” he spat. “You’re incapable of doing the one thing I ask, the one thing.”

You stuttered, speech choppy, “What… did you,” you cleared your throat, “ask?”

What did he ask? Dippers face scrunched as his hands fell. “Yesterday,” he said simply and lowly. “And the day before, I think.”

You blinked, looking once at the floor before back at him, still and silent as a statue.

“I asked you to stay out of the kitchen,” Dipper snarked, standing over you. But his anger was dissipating and his confusion growing. Did you really not remember? That was worrying. Was Bill still in your head? No that was impossible in the shack. Memory loss of some kind? That seemed most likely. Trauma induced? Mental or physical? Either from when he hit you in the head, or it was mental state induced. Were you that dramatic? Don’t be mean.

“You-“ your feet were retracting as you curling further into yourself. “You didn’t ask me anything yesterday,” you mumbled, staring into your coffee pot.

You quickly tensed, eyes darting back to him, “-that I remember,” you added quickly. “I-I know I was… out, yesterday.”

What? What was your angle? That’s… “What?”

You pursed your lips, and swallowed, eyes falling back to the floor. “Well, I was…” you trailed off, thumbing the coffee pot. “I wasn’t me.”

”That was like, days ago,” he spat. And then paused. And paused. And then looked. At you, at the coffee pot, and the mug beside you. Okay. At first, there was no thought, just an empty brain staring at a cup. Alright…

You said something, but Dippers brain was starting to move again, and it seemed to tune you out. Why didn’t you remember, and why did you never learn? And why did you think… that was yesterday. Okay. Alright.

Without another word, he turned around and left, headed upstairs, and shook Mabel awake. She was tired, dazed, and confused, but she answered his question: what was yesterday.

Well shit. Her too. And Dipper came to the conclusion that he might be the weird one, and he might be in a timeloop.

Guys I’m sorry. This is a two parter too that’s the worst part. These two chapters almost killed me. So god Damn long and a fuckimg doozy 😭

I got to like 4K words and realized I hadn’t covered half the stuff I wanted to.

Also I got real sad again around the time I wrote this, can you tell 💀

Taglist: @dead-esque @cipheress-to-k-pop

#x reader #my writing #dipper pines #dipper pines x reader #douce amere #gravity falls #gravity falls x reader #dipper x reader

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entitled-fangirl · 11 months ago

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A deer in the headlights.

Jim Moriarty x reader

Summary: Jim comes home early and scares the reader, prompting a panic attack.

Words: 811

Warning: panic attack, but hey, comforting criminal Jim! Also... criminal Jim.

Author's note: I don't own the character Jim Moriarty! And you know I couldn't resist using a Fleabag gif. Andrew Scott has my <3

Masterlist

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She sat on the couch of their shared home, her legs pulled up to her chest. Her arms wrapped around her legs, holding her book out for her to read. It was a cute sight, seeing her so comfortable in their home.

Jim opened the door, his hands immediately moving to loosen his tie. He shook off his blazer, hanging it over one of the dining room chairs. He was quiet, almost silent. It was one of his favorite attributes of himself, being practically silent when he moved.

She hadn’t noticed him yet, her gaze focused on the book in front of her. He decided to have a little fun with his darling deer.

He stalked up behind her. Her long hair was hanging off the back of the couch. Even as the conspiring smirk showed on his face, he couldn’t help but admire her. He continued his plan, his steps careful and meticulously done.

He got slightly distracted staring at her hair, the tile under him squeaking. He froze, as did she. Her head moved up, her eyes looking straight forward at the wall like a deer in the headlights. He knows her so well, he can practically see the look on her face, knowing that she is now contemplating her options.

As if instinct, his little deer jumped up, her book falling to the ground as she sprinted to their shared room. Jim smiled. He loved a game like this. He ran behind her quickly. His longer legs catching up to her.

The stairs slowed her down, her shorter legs moving quickly. He followed quickly behind her, not caring to be quiet anymore. As his foot hit the top step, she was within his reach.

His hands wrap around her waist, pulling her to him. She let out a small squeal in fear. He smiled, resting his face in the crook of her neck and shoulder. Her hair covered his face, but he didn’t mind. It gave him an extra opportunity to smell her sweet scent.

Her body completely froze. Her fear was an aura surrounding her at this point. Jim finally noticed her quick breaths, and her hands that had his in a death grip around her waist. She was very scared.

His grip loosened immediately. He turned her around to let her see him. Her eyes were glossy with unshed tears and they carried an uncertain look to them. He had seen this look. She was having a panic attack.

Her eyes may be looking at him, but she didn’t see him. She was in her own little world. A world of fear.

His heart dropped. His hands naturally moved to her face, cupping both of her cheeks, and pulling her face to his. Her hands jump to his, her death grip continuing.

“Shh… it’s alright…. Shh….shh…,” he said in a comforting tone.

It seemed to calm her slightly, her body recognizing his touch, even if her brain didn’t. The tears began to fall from her eyes, another sign of her body relaxing further.

He smiled gently at her, his voice low, “Little deer, it’s alright. You’re safe…. You’re safe.”

Her body lets out a soft sigh, shaky from the tears. Her voice came out broken from the hiccuping of her diaphragm, “J…James…?”

He laughed at this. His deer was so precious. The thumb on one of the hands resting on her face began to gently move back and forth, giving her a feeling of comfort. “Yes. I’m here.”

He hated seeing her this way, but he also loved it. How she always ran into his arms when she was scared. Like now.

She let out a sob, her arms moving around his neck, pulling her to him. She began to cry harder into his chest. His hands moved to her waist, wrapping around her.

“I’m sorry, deer. I didn’t know I would frighten you like this. I wouldn’t have done so, had I known. Shh… it’s alright...,” he continued.

As her tears began to settle down, she pulled away from him. She pulled one of her arms to her face to wipe the tears, but he stopped her, his hand wrapping around her wrist. The other hand moved to her face as he gently wiped the tears for her.

She sniffles, “You’re home early.”

He let out a loud laugh at this, “You silly girl. Of course I am. I told you I would be.”

Her eyes met his, “I forgot. I’m sorry.”

“Do not apologize, little deer. You should know by now that I would never let anything happen to you."

She nods slightly, moving back into his embrace, to which he happily obliged. The feeling of her in his arms was his favorite.

One of his hands moved to the back of her head, playing with her hair. “I will call Seb, and tell him to consider me off for the rest of the day. It is you and I for tonight. No interruptions. No phone calls. Could you even begin to forgive me, angel?”

He could feel her smile against his shoulder. “Of course, James.”

He sighs, kissing the top of her head, “Thank you, little deer. Now, let’s go relax, huh?”

She lets him lead her the rest of the way to their room to make up for lost time.

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#bbc sherlock #sherlock holmes #jim moriarty #james moriarty #jim moriarty x reader #jim moriarty imagine #james moriarty x reader #james moriarty imagine #sherlock imagines #sherlock bbc imagine

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faebaex · 10 months ago

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Tangled in Wonderland - Cornered

author note: Hiii next chapter! I’m so glad you guys enjoyed the twist, it makes me so happy! This might not be the chapter you expected, as it focuses more on the aftermath, but rest assured more is to come! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ Please make sure you read the warning underneath before proceeding to read this chapter. Thank you!!

characters: Rook Hunt x GN!Reader

Warning: This chapter deals heavily with mental health, with a description of a panic attack from the outset and descriptions of depression early on in the chapter. This chapter also mentions stalking. Please do not read if these topics make you feel uncomfortable in anyway.

“… Vital signs… Erratic…”

“… scan of… quickly!”

“… Bioscan…”

You felt disorientated. A ringing in your ears, accompanied by different, distinctive sound, drowned out most of the sounds you could hear. It took you a moment to realise that the other distinctive sound was the thumping of your own heartbeat in your ears.

“… Complete… Pref… signs… attack…”

Your entire body felt rigid, as if encased in ice, yet your skin felt like it was on fire. There was a deep dread, which felt like it was simultaneously seeping out of your pores and clawing up your throat, threatening to close it in it’s merciless grasp. You couldn’t breathe. Were you going to die? Can’t breathe, can’t breathe, can’t—

“P-prefect!”

The feeling of hands on your shoulders suddenly brought your awareness back, and you realised that you were still in Idia’s dorm room. But something wasn’t right… What was happening…? What is that noise…?

“Prefect, I need you to breath.” Idia told you, his voice not stuttering despite the frantic look on his face.

What is he talking about? Is that sound… You?

It took your brain a moment to process that you were hyperventilating, your breathing coming out in short, terrified gasps. You were shaking violently, and it felt like Idia’s hands on your shoulders were the only thing keeping you grounded.

“I-I can’t!” You managed to wheeze out, your voice high-pitched and laced with distress. Your eyes darted around the room wildly, as if you were looking for somewhere to go but finding no way out.

“Yes you can,” Idia instructed firmly, “focus on me, and I’ll help you.”

Your eyes snapped onto Idia’s golden ones, and you held onto his gaze like it was your only lifeline, because in that moment, it felt like it was. Slowly, he coached you through how to breath, counting steadily up to five when you breathed in, and down from five as you breathed out, his hands on your shoulders the entire time.

“Commencing bioscan of target…”

You closed your eyes, blocking out Ortho as you focused solely on your breathing. Breathe in for five, breathe out for five, breathe in for five… Breathe out for five…

“… Panic symptoms receding… Heart rate slowly lowering back to base line…”

It felt excruciating, but eventually the ringing in your ears faded away and the thumping of your heart grew steadier. The dread was still there, curled deep in your stomach like a heavy weight, but the fear was no longer clawing at your insides, constricting your throat like a noose. You kept your eyes closed as you continued breathing deeply, until you felt a squeeze on your shoulders. It was light, almost feeling shy, but it was definitely there.

“… A-are you okay?”

Your eyes snapped open, and you finally took in your surroundings properly.

You were still in Idia’s dorm room, sitting on his bed, but now Idia was awkwardly crouched in front of you, his hands on your shoulders, and Ortho was floating beside you. They both looked very concerned, but Idia seemed to notice that they were crowding you a little and let go of your shoulders, sheepishly taking a step back and slowly sitting back in his desk chair. Ortho remained at your side however, head tilted as he studied you.

“… Prefect?” Ortho verbally nudged, and you swallowed. You were frightened to speak. Frightened that your voice would crack and betray your inner turmoil.

“I-i…” You began, and your voice got stuck in your throat. Ortho zoomed to the side, rummaging through one of the boxes you had brought back to the dorm together earlier and returned to you, coaxing a bottle of sports drink into your hand.

“Sip this, you need the electrolytes.” Ortho advised, and your shaky hands struggled with the sealed cap before Ortho pinged it off with one well timed flick. You’d have been amused in a different situation. You slowly sipped at the sports drink, absently noting its berry flavour, as you tried your hardest not to think. You really didn’t want to think right now. Not about that.

“I-I have to go…” You stuttered out. You prayed that your legs would be able to hold your weight as you attempted to stand, and thankfully they were, despite how badly you were shaking.

“Prefect, wait—” Ortho began, but you didn’t listen, heading straight for Idia’s door.

“Let them go, Ortho.” Idia said quietly, slumping down in his chair as he watched you leave.

Your shoulders were hunched and you kept your head low as you walked back to Ramshackle, internally begging whatever cruel fate was out there not to allow you to run into anyone. Thankfully, you didn’t, and you have never been more grateful that Ramshackle was fairly close to the Hall of Mirrors than you were today.

In another positive turn of fate, Ramshackle was empty when you arrived. That must mean you had been in Ignihyde all morning, and the NRC Tribe had already left for their afternoon training in the Pomefiore ballroom. You headed straight for your room, securing the door closed and drawing your curtains, descending your bedroom into darkness. You didn’t even bother changing out of your clothes, immediately seeking refuge in your bed, curled up in the foetal position with your head under the covers. You didn’t want to know. You didn’t want to think. You just wanted the darkness to swallow you up.

You stayed like that for three days.

The first day was a Sunday, so whilst your absence was seen as laziness by your more judgmental peers, it drew no particular concern. But the second day was a Monday – a school day. Grim had tried to drag you out of bed, coaxing and complaining that if you didn’t get up now, you’d both be late. But you didn’t move, and slowly it started to dawn on Grim that something wasn’t right with you. Eventually, and rather reluctantly, he left for school, casting a worried glance at you before he closed the door.

When he returned at lunchtime, he noticed that you had barely moved, and his worry swelled. He had brought you a sandwich he had snagged from the cafeteria, placing it on your pillow as if that would somehow coax you to eat it. He joked that you had to eat, because he needed his henchhuman on top form to be able to carry out all his deeds for him. When you didn’t crack a smile and just stared blankly at him – through him – his fur puffed up, stricken with concern over your state. He spent the rest of his lunchbreak running around Ramshackle, gathering things that he thought could help. He placed a glass of water on your bedside table, and tugged another blanket out of your wardrobe and laid it haphazardly over your curled up form. He even swiped a diffuser from who knows where and placed it on the fireplace by the mirror, the scent of lavender slowly filling the bedroom.

Grim soon had to leave again to return to the main building for afternoon classes, and you were once again left alone. Your eyes were tired but whenever you slept, you kept seeing that picture. Like it had been seared onto the inside of your eyelids and burnt into your brain. You didn’t want to see it. You didn’t want to think about it. So you stayed awake, huddled up in bed and away from the world.

Grim returned immediately after classes ended, his face showing how anxious he was as he opened your bedroom door and hopped on your bed to check on you. He noticed that the sandwich he brought you at lunch was untouched and, in a fit of desperation, he disappeared downstairs only to return with a can of his premium tuna. He placed in by the sandwich and tried to talk to you, only to receive no response again. Ultimately, he gave up, but instead of leaving he dove under the covers and curled up by your side, not moving for the remainder of the evening and night.

The third day mimicked the second, with Grim bringing you another sandwich from the school cafeteria in hopes that it would entice your appetite. He was glum when he left, feeling like he was getting nowhere. But it was that afternoon when he returned from classes that he finally snapped, the anxiety too much to bear. He dove under the covers once again but this time he pressed his face close to yours, his big blue eyes looking straight into yours. You could see the worry and concern swirling in them, a faint glimmer of tears starting to threaten the surface.

“Henchhuman, you gotta eat!” Grim implored, the desperation clear in his voice, “you haven’t moved in days. Should we go to the infirmary? … Tell me what to do!” He begged, wanting nothing more than some guidance on how to deal with this situation, guidance on how he could help you. His desperation only grew as you said nothing.

“Is the food not good enough? Tell me what you want, I’ll get you anything! I’ll even work a shift at the Mostro Lounge to get you the good stuff! J-just tell me what I can do!” It was the sound of Grim’s voice cracking that broke through your somber reverie, like a chisel through ice. Your limbs still felt heavy and your mind clouded by fog, but something inside you had changed. You had been blind to how your behaviour had been affecting Grim, and now guilt started to well up in your heart. You blinked, and slowly you shifted in the bed. Your body felt stiff, your muscles tensing and screaming out at the slightest motion but you persisted until you were leaned against the headboard. With shaky hands from malnutrition, you managed to unwrap the packaging of one of the sandwiches that Grim had brought you, taking a small bite out of one before recoiling and immediately reaching for the glass of water on your bedside instead and quickly sipping some. Your mouth was so dry that it made the sandwich taste like cardboard, and the water turning the sandwich to mush wasn’t exactly any more pleasant but at least you weren’t at risk of choking.

Grim had crawled out from under the covers, watching you with hesitant eyes. You tried to give him a small smile to reassure him but with your lips so dry, it only caused the skin there to crack painfully, so you stopped. “I’m sorry Grim…” You managed to murmur, your voice hoarse, “I’ll come with you to class tomorrow, I promise…”

Grim stared at you for a long moment, worry still shining in his eyes before he shook out his fur and clambered onto your lap, pushing the hand the held the glass of water softly, urging you to drink again. “Y-you better, henchhuman! Crewel has really been on my case, y’know! He said we’d have to do double homework to make up for it if you missed any more classes!” Grim nagged, and it was clear he was trying to encourage you in his own little way, refusing to mention how he had been watching you lifeless in bed for the last few days.

You ate the sandwich in silence, having to force the last quarter down but doing so because you knew your stomach needed the food. The whole time you stroked Grim’s head with your free hand as he laid in your lap. Usually he’d make a fuss if you treated him like this, but today he sat quietly, letting you brush your fingers through his fur.

You took one last sip of water and slowly lowered yourself back down into the bed, forcing yourself to resist curling up in foetal position and give your limbs some much needed stretch. You promised Grim again that you’d definitely go to class with him tomorrow and you closed your eyes, cuddling him into your side.

The next morning was hell. You woke up earlier than you’d usually do, knowing that you’d need the extra time to prepare physically and emotionally to leave your bedroom. You left Grim snoring away in bed as you walked into your bathroom, grimacing as you caught sight of yourself in the mirror. The circles under your eyes were awful, and you didn’t want to imagine the snark that Vil would have in store for you if he caught sight of them. This was going to take a lot of work. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, your dull eyes staring back at you. Mentally, you tried to give yourself a pep talk. There was no point getting so distressed over what you had discovered at Ignihyde, you told yourself. You had no leads at the moment, so any lead was a good lead, right…? You felt despair start to curl in your heart when you thought that home might not be what you think it is. Desperately, you reached up and pinched your cheek hard to snap yourself out of those thoughts. Ow.

Thankfully you were up early enough that the hot water hadn’t been used up yet by the rest of your little house guests, so you could at least enjoy a hot shower. By the time you had finally made yourself look presentable enough, it was almost time to leave, so you had to make use of one of the sandwiches that Grim had brought you for you, splitting half with him. Throwing on a face mask for good measure, you turned to pick up your phone from your bedside table and froze. Your hand hung in the air for a moment but then you let it drop, staring at your phone conflicted. Eventually, you picked up Grim and finally left your bedroom.

You walked to classes with Ace and Deuce, who both shared concern over your sudden illness. It seemed that Grim had told people that you weren’t feeling well, and Ace and Deuce hadn’t been able to check on you because Vil was concerned you could be contagious. He wasn’t letting anything ruin their chances at the SDC, especially not the common cold. You assured them both that you were fine and instead asked them about their competition training, successfully filling up the conversation until you reached classes.

The day of classes was dull, and you understood almost none of it considering the past few days that you had missed. Thankfully, you didn’t catch an earful from Crewel. He had taken one look at you before ominously tapping his pointer to his gloved palm a few times before warning you to make sure you caught up on the subjects you had missed. Despite how boring your classes were today, you wished they wouldn’t come to an end. Because you knew when they came to an end, you’d have no choice but to confront the inevitable.

But sooner than you would have liked, you were exiting your final class of the day and splitting off from Ace and Deuce as they went to continue their training at the Pomefiore ballroom, and Grim mumbled an excuse and took off without telling you where he was going. That was never good, but considering Grim had sat painstakingly by your side for the last few days, you could turn a blind eye to any of his troublesome activities for a while.

Muscle memory took you to the library, but as you sat yourself at your usual desk, you found yourself just staring into space. You hadn’t even opened any of the books on your pile. With a deep sigh you pushed yourself away from the desk and took your leave. You knew you had to confront what had been plaguing you these last few days, and even as bile rose up in your throat just at the thought, you needed to rip off the band aid and be done with it.

You had just made it out of the school building and were starting the long walk back to Ramshackle when a voice called out behind you. It wasn’t a voice you wanted to hear, your shoulders tensing just at the sound of it.

“Prefect, bonjour!”

Of all times, now was not when you wanted to have to deal with Rook Hunt.

You sighed as you turned your head, seeing Rook waving at you grandly as he approached you. “Are you walking back to Ramshackle? Then I shall accompany you! I foolishly left my stretching bands, and Vil will be very displeased if I turned up to practice without them.”

“We can’t have a displeased Vil…” You muttered dryly, and Rook nodded in agreement with his usual eccentric smile. “I do hate disappointing beautiful Vil, so let us walk together.”

You knew better than to walk in silence with Rook, even if that is what you would have actually preferred, so you initiated some small talk about how the preparation for the SDC was going. As usual, Rook was eager to sing the praises of the NRC Tribe’s members; he spoke of how much Ace and Deuce had improved with their footwork in leaps and bounds, and how Epel was blossoming into his beauty. How Kalim’s smile shone through even the darkest of practices, and how Jamil was starting to break out of his shell and fill the stage with his presence. And of course, he sang about Vil’s leadership and tenacity to shape even the roughest of stones into beautiful gems.

“Ah, but I digress! I would love to hear about you, prefect! Where have you been these last three days?” Rook inquired, his unreadable eyes fixed on you. His gushing about the NRC Tribe had only taken you halfway to Ramshackle, and there was no point trying to outrun a hunter. That would probably just excite him.

“Oh, I wasn’t feeling too well so I took a couple of days to rest in bed.” You responded. It wasn’t necessarily a lie, but Rook’s eyes narrowed on you all the same before a small smile played on his lips.

“Really? Because I associate the behaviour you are displaying more with fear than fatigue from illness.” He said nonchalantly and you whipped your head around to stare at him before you could stop yourself. He had that infuriating little smirk on his lips as he watched you, studied you, taking in every little detail of your reactions.

“I thought the beastman students were more your vibe.” You snarked at him, not bothering to hide the hostility in your tone, he’d detect it either way. Rook only shook his head, maintaining his smug smile.

“Non, non, non, sweet Trickster! I observe those who interest me, and you are very interesting.” He informed you, taking a step closer to you which made you immediately sidestep away with a frown. Rook didn’t look offended or perturbed, he simply kept speaking. “Your heart rate is higher than usual, your pupils are dilated and your hands are shaking. Your complexion is paler than the norm, and you are wearing concealer to hide some rather unsightly dark circles beneath your eyes.”

Rook watched you as he delivered his analysis but you said nothing, keeping your eyes away from him and staring at the floor instead. Rook was silent for a moment before he delivered his final judgment.

“Those aren’t the symptoms of someone suffering from fatigue, sweet Trickster. Non, those are the symptom of someone who is very scared. What happened to you when you went into Ignihyde?”

You grit your teeth, feeling an odd sense of outrage fill you. It shouldn’t be surprising to you that Rook knew you went to Ignihyde that day, he stalks everyone that he finds interesting, and he already let you know he finds you very intriguing. But no matter how you tried to rationalise it, the knowledge that he had been stalking you had you brimming with resentment.

“If I complained to our beautiful Vil that you have been stalking me, you could lose your position as Pomefiore’s vice housewarden.” You stated cooly, “I might be magicless, but I am the Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm. An allegation from me would have to be taken seriously.” You hid none of the animosity from your expression as you turned your head to glare at him.

… But his expression surprised you. He had his hands raised in surrender at your threat, but instead of the smug smile he usually wore on his face when he was goading his prey, he looked concerned. Like he was worried about you.

“Forgive me, sweetest Trickster. Usually, I abide by Roi du Poison’s words not to interfere with other dorms’ affairs, but after seeing you look akin to a terrified lamb marked for slaughter, I felt so uneasy that I couldn’t help but check in with you.” Rook told you gently, and you pursed your lips. You didn’t know whether to feel annoyed or thankful for his concern, to be honest. Would he even be concerned over you if you weren’t an interesting little prey for him to toy with?

“You went back to Ignihyde with Monsieur Doll after running into him at the Mystery Shop, even assisting him with his shopping. A kind act from our sweet Trickster. But then you took to your room for days and began behaving like a frightened dove upon contact. Monsieur Doll doesn’t seem like the type to behave untowardly…” Rook continued, watching your expression for even the smallest micro-expressions, no doubt.

You could finally see Ramshackle coming into sight and you had to stop yourself breathing a sigh of relief. Rook wouldn’t be able to bother you for much longer whether he liked it or not – he’d need to get to the Pomefiore ballroom before Vil noticed he had been absent for too long. But considering he knew that you had gone to Ignihyde, you didn’t want him to start snooping around there to see what had happened. What if he found out? Found out that you’re…

Your tone was sharp as you addressed Rook.

“It’s none of your business why I went to Ignihyde. And for the record, Ortho was a very gracious host. You’re doing him a disservice by assuming any different. The fact of the matter is that I got sick. I got sick in a place where I have no family or connections, where I have nothing, so sue me if I got a little shaken up about the experience. Again, not that it is any of your business.”

It was a weak excuse, one that you had thought up on the fly and you were certain that Rook wouldn’t believe it at all. But that didn’t matter. All that mattered what making sure that he didn’t go meddling around Ignihyde and finding out anything. Ortho might be able to hold his own, but you weren’t sure how well Idia would fare against the enigmatic Rook.

You were a little worried that he wouldn’t let it go, but Rook simply nodded. The unreadable glint in his eye was back, so you had no idea what he was thinking. You could only hope that it was something about leaving you alone.

You walked the rest of the short distance to Ramshackle in tense silence, but the ever-eccentric Rook still opened the Ramshackle main door for you with a dramatic flourish, as if he wasn’t affected by the tense atmosphere at all. Of course he wasn’t. Being the root cause of many tense situations must give you some resistance.

You were given no reprieve from Rook yet, considering you both walked up Ramshackle’s staircase for different reasons. You to hole yourself up in your bedroom, and him to collect his forgotten stretching equipment. Now you were wondering if it was even truly forgotten, or if this was just a convenient excuse for him to ambush you. This school was truly turning you into a cynic.

“Trickster, if I may…” Rook began as you began to part at the top of the stairs, ready to turn in different directions for your respective rooms. You stopped reluctantly, but only half turned toward him, showing that you very much considered your previous conversation over.

“This may seem a little ingenuine now, but should you ever feel yourself floating adrift without aid, I will happily be your paddle. You need only let me know.” Rook imparted, and his tone seemed pure, despite how flowery he had come across.

The promise didn’t fill you with any warmth or security, nor did it make you feel bad for the animosity you had shown him, but it did soothe the burn you were feeling from having your privacy invaded somewhat. You didn’t smile, but simply nodded at him. “I’ll keep that in mind.” You responded diplomatically.

Rook’s cheerful smile was back on his face, as if your hostile conversation had never occurred. “Now I must hurry back to my tribe! To think such beautiful moments are happening without me catching sight! A tragedy! Adieu, sweet Trickster, until we meet again!”

You rolled your eyes as you turned away and continued back to your own room. Hopefully that meant that you were free from Rook’s sights for a while. You knew you’d need to be extra careful going forward, as its not like you can tell when Rook is watching you.

You entered your room and closed your door with a heavy sigh, as if you were breathing out all the interactions you had sat through that day. You pulled off your face mask and flung it to the side, taking a heavy seat on your bed. Like it or not, it was time.

Your eyes fell to your phone, that sat cold and discarded on your bedside table. Your only lead, perhaps the answer to everything, was housed inside that phone.

But why was it so terrifying?

You sat there, just staring at your phone for a long moment, trying to build up the courage to simply pick it up and hold it in your hands. You knew you needed to act, you had no idea what time Grim was going to be back home – perhaps early if he was going to check up on you – and you didn’t want to give him any more cause for concern.

You swallowed hard… and reached out for the phone. It was time.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #rook hunt #rook hunt x reader #twst rook

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sainteclectic · 11 days ago

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fuck it. bird hms

heart is a swan. they're seen as sweet and elegant, but that's not the full truth. swans are one of the most loyal mates and fiercest protectors of their family. if swans see something as a threat to their family, they attack on sight. heart saw mind as a threat to their happiness, resulting in the juno incident. despite their aggression though, swans' love for their mate and family give them a status as a symbol of undying love

mind is a raven. ravens are less social than crows, but no less intelligent. they're resourceful, clever, and also protective of their nest. they're also opportunistic, capable of intentional deception and notorious for scavenging and stealing the resources of other animals. interestingly, ravens are one of the only birds who will fly towards a gunshot, knowing that sound means an opportunity to take the game for themselves.

soul is a domestic canary. canaries are a bit more solitary than other domestic birds, enjoying observation over handling... but you know the real reason. you've no doubt heard the phrase "canary in a coal mine." canaries are used by humans as an early warning sign of danger. if the canary stops singing, their owner is sure to be in danger. put in danger again and again, to prevent harm of those around them.

#cccc #chonny jash #chonnys charming chaos compendium #cj heart #cj soul #cj mind

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fairyhaos · 1 year ago

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. ˚ in my arms

requested by @cinnamoroxie : seungkwan legit so good when you’re having a panic attack, he’ll sit down w you and rub your back, go thru breathing exercises, and also hes such a good listener 💔

pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship

word count: 1792

warnings: descriptions of panic attack/ meltdown

notes: if someone knows where to find a seungkwan then pls hmu i need one asap actually

summary: seungkwan has always admired your ability to keep calm, but when the moment comes that you need someone to fall into, he'll always be ready to offer his arms.

You've been locked away in your room for several hours now, and Seungkwan is more than a little worried.

It's early June, and exams are in full swing. In the weeks of revision leading up to this, he's seen you be relatively calm, perhaps a little more snappish and tense than usual, but still rather put together and composed.

Your composure, your ability to not dissolve into an inconsolable ball of stress while preparing for exam weeks, is something that Seungkwan is still so in awe of.

However, that doesn’t mean you don’t have meltdowns of your own.

He’s seen them before—the aftermath of them, that is, after having come home to you surrounded by your friends on the couch, watching ‘Legally Blonde’ for the twentieth time with swollen eyes and a sniffly nose and a smile on your face. You never like to talk about it afterwards, but he knows.

Seungkwan can recognise the post-breakdown signs. Sometimes he gets like that too.

But even so, he’s never been there to witness you going through it. As the minutes tick by, with you barely even having come out of your room once since this morning, it’s safe to say his worry has gone from just a little to rather extreme.

That’s why right now, he’s standing outside your door, a plate of biscuits in his hands. He’s been here for several minutes now, just staring at the door, wondering whether he should knock or go in.

He respects your unspoken want for some personal space today, but if that personal space manifests itself as self-quarantining and possibly driving you to your own insanity, then he’s not quite sure if he should respect that.

He’s still outside your door, just staring at the painted wooden structure—it’s a nice white, maybe a little yellowed with age, but still nice—when the door suddenly swings open, and he’s met with your surprised face.

“Kwan?”

Seungkwan blinks, and then softens, seeing the way your hair is all messed up and your shoulders are sagged with exhaustion, holding up the plate like a peace offering. “Hi baby. I come with hugs and cookies. Would you care for some?”

Your eyes immediately go to the plate and then to his face, and something in your eyes looks like it’s trembling. His own eyes immediately widen, concerned.

“Y/N? Y/N, love, are you okay?”

And then, abruptly, you burst into tears.

He’s stepping towards you instantly, one hand automatically coming up to cradle the back of your head as you hold a hand over your mouth, sinking to the floor. As you go down, he goes down with you, and he sets down the plate, not caring if the cookies fall and get crumbs all over the floor, wrapping both arms around you and pulling you to his chest.

You’re trying to muffle your sobs into your hand, and that just breaks his heart. Seungkwan rocks you from side to side, making soft hushing noises.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” he says quietly. “I’m here. I’m here for you.”

He has one hand in your hair, the other wrapped around your back, soothingly rubbing up and down your side. He’s whispering in your ear, telling you he’s here, that he’s not going anywhere, that it’s okay to cry.

And eventually, you make a soft wailing sound, and the hand comes away from your mouth and you cry into his shoulder.

It makes Seungkwan tear up, just a little, hearing the utterly devastating sounds you’re making. You grip him as if he’s your last lifeline, fists shaking through handfuls of his shirt, and he knows that he’d never leave you, even if he were able to.

Not when you were like this. Never like this.

Not ever.

You’re still crying, still wetting his shoulder with your stress, but now you’re making hiccupping noises, trying to talk, and he’s softly telling you that it’s okay, but you continue trying anyway.

“I’m just— I— Kwan, I’m going to fa—ail—” and then the rest of your sentence is incomprehensible, melting into more tears.

You sound so broken, like you’ve been standing on the edge of a cliff for far too long and have finally been pushed. He feels like he’s been pushed with you, his heart swooping worriedly in tandem with yours, and he just hugs you harder.

“No, no, baby, you’re not,” he says, but you just shake your head rapidly, crying. “Listen to me, you’re going to be okay. I promise.”

“N—No, I’m—I can’t do it, I c—can’t do it,” you sob, words fragmented and exhausted. “It’s too hard, I’m n—not good enou—gh.”

You’re breathing rapidly now, big breaths that sound shallow, shaking uncontrollably in his hold.

Seungkwan faintly registers that you’re both still kneeling in the doorway, and as you begin hyperventilating in his arms, he unwraps himself from around you, holding onto your hand and pulling you to your feet, guiding you into your room and onto your bed.

Your eyes are red with exhaustion and now with tears, and you look like a small child as you just let Seungkwan drag you onto the bed, cheeks wet and frame hunched and meek, trembling violently. It makes Seungkwan’s heart hurt, aching to make you feel better.

“Breathe for me,” Seungkwan says, sitting cross-legged opposite you. “Y/N, it's okay, darling, breathe for me.” He takes your hands, trying to get you to look at him. “You can do it, love, do this for me.”

You don’t look like you’re fully in the present, eyes unfocused, swaying even as you continue to sob uncontrollably, shaking. He cups your cheeks, his hands a little cool on your overheating face, and it makes you drag your gaze back to him, hiccupping and breathing erratically.

“Y/N, you’re with me, aren’t you?” he says, gently, smiling. The tears continue to pool in your eyes, but you're looking at him, at least. “Don’t worry, love. You’re doing okay.”

That makes the tears pool faster, the hiccups taking over again as you try to speak. “I’m n—not, I’m really not—”

“Yes, you are,” Seungkwan says firmly. “You are. Shh, it’s okay. Breathe for me, darling. I’ll do it with you. In…” He breathes in exaggeratedly, holding it for a few moments, and then breathing out. “And out. And again. In… and out.”

He breathes exaggeratedly slowly, puffing his chest and then deflating several times. It takes a while for you to join him, but eventually you do, and his hands are now on your jawline, fingers against your pulse, your hands around his wrists.

“There we go,” he says gently, smiling, as your breath syncs with his. “You’re doing so well, Y/N. My wonderful, wonderful Y/N.”

He breathes in deeply a few more times, until you’re no longer looking in danger of hyperventilating, and then he relaxes, simply holding you. The tears still fall, sticky and aching and staining your face with worry, but at least your breathing is steadier, even if it’s still a little shaky.

Seungkwan leans forward until his forehead touches yours. “I’m here,” he says, softly, in the same way he’s been saying it constantly ever since you opened the door. “I’m here for you.”

“Kwan,” you whisper, small and trembling, “I’m going to fail, I’m really going to fail—”

“Nonsense,” he says instantly, before you can work yourself up into another meltdown. “You won’t. I promise you, you really won’t. Look how hard you’ve been working, my love. You won’t fail.”

Your fingers tighten over his wrist, just a little, and you fall into him, burying your face into his chest, and he wraps his arms around you, natural. Protective.

“You don’t know that.”

“But I know you,” Seungkwan returns. “I know my hardworking, intelligent Y/N. You try your best, at anything at all, and even if you might not let yourself rest sometimes, it’s because you’re working so hard to be the best you can be. At the end of the day, your best is all you’re able to do, and that’s completely fine.”

You don’t say anything for a moment, still buried into his shirt. “You sound like Minghao.”

That makes him chuckle a little, wrapping his arms tighter around you. “Well, sometimes Minghao has a point. Even if he sometimes spouts gibberish, there are occasions where he says words of gold.”

“Like that time he told you to meditate because you might have ‘anger issues’?”

“The point is,” Seungkwan says, ignoring you, and it makes you snuffle a small laugh into his chest. “The point is, you’re doing well. You might not feel like it, but you are. I know hard work when I see it, and you’ve gone above and beyond.”

You just hum in response, and he can tell that you don’t believe him.

He smooths your hair back, tucking some stray hairs behind your ear. “Maybe you don’t believe me, but it’s true. You’re my wonderful Y/N, and I’m going to cherish you in all the ways you deserve, and you deserve to know how wonderful you really are.”

You whine a little, embarrassed and pleased, and he chuckles. “Stop, you’re making me shy.”

“I’m always going to be here for you,” Seungkwan says after a moment. “Always. So there’s no need to push yourself until you’re falling over the edge, okay? I can bring you away from the cliff safely, with no one being pushed.”

Seungkwan doesn’t know where the weird metaphor comes from, and he expects you to laugh and comment on it. Instead, you just hum again, nuzzling further into him, and your next words are a little muffled, but he hears you all the same.

“I love you.”

“I love you,” Seungkwan returns, instantly, because he does, and you should know that. He hopes you know just how much he really, truly loves you.

There’s silence then, save for the sound of the birds twittering in the distance and the AC running practically everywhere in the house, but with you in his arms the rest of the world has ceased to exist, narrowing down to just you.

You lift your head after a moment, and he smiles down at you, devastatingly soft, gently dabbing some of the drying tears away from the corners of your eyes.

“You know you’ll always be able to find comfort here, right?” Seungkwan checks, speaking into the silence, and you tilt your head confusedly. Your eyes are still red, still tired, but there’s light in them now, light that was lit by his love for you.

“Where?”

He presses a kiss to the top of your forehead, drawing a little heart on your cheek with his fingertip. “Right here. In my arms.”

fics tags: @jeonghanis ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @minhui896 ,, @bunnyiix ,, @slytherinshua ,, @haowrld ,, @belladaises ,, @moonlitskiiies ,, @cinnamoroxie ,, @butiluvu ,, @zozojella ,, @kawennote09 ,, @thedensworld ,, @a-wandering-stay ,, @abibliolife ,, @doublasting ,, @wonranghaeee ,, @icyminghao

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randxmthxughts · 2 years ago

Text

All For You - Neteyam x Ta'unui ! reader (enemies to lovers) - pt. 2

*Ta'unui is the Eastern Sea water clan that was attacked by Quaritch

part 1

summary: When Quaritch attacks the Ta’unui water clan looking for Jake Sully, the clan’s Tsahik forces her younger sister, Y/N, to escape and seek refuge from the Metkayina clan. As Y/N deals with the trauma of losing her home, she discovers that she isn’t the only outlander in the village. She develops conflicted feelings for Neteyam but the tensions grow when Y/N finds out that Neteyam is the son of Jake Sully - the man she hates.

genres/tropes: angst, romance, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, grumpy x sunshine, slowburn

other pairings: Loak x Tsireya, Kiri x Ao’nung, platonic relationships (Y/N x Kiri x Tsireya, Y/N x Jake, Y/N x Neytiri)

warnings: war, mentions of blood, PTSD, trauma, survivor guilt, character near-death experience, slightly aged up neteyam, dialogues are supposed to be in na'vi, not english, lots of side eyes, braids swaying, and neteyam appearing out of nowhere like the batman lol

word count: 30,2k (ik this is insane)

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

The next morning you try to occupy yourself with whatever tasks to avoid running into Neteyam. You think that both of you need some time before returning back to your usual selves. What if he starts hating you?

Tsireya silently works along you, as you’re gathering berries. She doesn’t ask you anything about last night but you’re convinced that she suspects something happened.

“Y/N,” you hear someone call out your name.

Neytiri waves you over. You notice her wearing a different belt with two small knives hanging from each side, and a bow in her hands. Oh shit.

“Are you going to fly with Neytiri?” Tsireya asks, curiously. You nod.

“Come,” Neytiri shouts again.

When you join Neytiri, you feel nervous. And it’s not because of her anymore, but because Neteyam promised to join you too, and you’re scared you might run into him any minute now. But as you walk with her to your marui to retrieve your weapons, and head into the trees, there is no sign of Neteyam.

“This is my ikran,” Neytiri pats the greenish-yellow creature on its head with a smile.

The sound the ikran makes terrifies you, but she only laughs at your reaction. You've heard stories about the forest clans riding ikrans, but you've never seen one up close, let alone flown on one. You also knew of the special bond that exists between the forest Na’vi and their ikrans; they could only choose one for the rest of their lives, and in return, the ikran had to choose and remain loyal to them. This bond was unbreakable, for life.

“You will fly with me,” Neytiri explains, as she checks the armor on her companion. You watch her attentively. “We will hunt later, so you can try shooting in the air.”

You nod your head, taking a step closer. The ikran lets out another sound but Neytiri quickly calms it down, encouraging you to keep closing the distance. A few moments of patience pay off when the ikran lets you pat its head. Overwhelmed, you let out a breathy laugh.

“Now, let’s go,” Neytiri jumps on the back of the ikran, helping you up.

“Is Neteyam going to join us?”

“He is with his father,” Neytiri says, as she pushes the straps of the armor into your hands, “Grab on these. Neteyam will come if they finish early.”

You take a deep breath, as you feel the ikran jerk under you. A big wave of air hits you in the face, and you grab harder onto the handles not to fall. When you gaze down at the view below, you feel your heart race. You never even dreamt of flying but this seems like something you were waiting for your whole life.

As you fly higher and higher, you notice how confident Neytiri is in her movements. She controls the ikran with ease, guiding it smoothly around curves of the cliffs, between trees and small nooks. You grip the armor of the ikran tightly, fear and adrenaline rushing through your blood.

Neytiri takes a dip, and as you feel exhilarated by the sensation of the wind running through your hair, you let out a laugh. She looks back at you with a toothy grin.

“Tie your feet,” she shouts, slowing down the ikran.

You obey, tying the straps around your feet to the armor.

“Done,” you shout back.

Neytiri makes a slow turn. She circles around a small lake, hidden between the green of the island. Just above the water, you can see a small flock of tetrapterons, graciously soaring.

“Take out your arrow and bow,” Neytiri orders, “We will take them by surprise. Some birds will fly away but some will fly right at us. That is your best chance.”

“I’m ready,” you reply with a newly gained confidence.

You ready your bow, adjusting in your seat, and praying to Eywa that you won’t fall off. As Neytiri’s ikran circles closer, you feel alert at the sheer number of them. Neytiri navigates the ikran around the flock, and immediately, loud screeches strike your ears, as the birds disperse.

Focused, you take one look to find your prey. You take an aim, and feel a rush of adrenaline, as you release the arrow and watch it hit its target. You shriek in excitement, marking your victory.

“Well done!”

“This is great!” you shout, raising your hands over your head, and feeling the wind.

After some more flying, you get to see Neytiri in action. She’s graceful and fast, her arrows shooting through the target every single time perfectly, while she’s still flying her ikran. You hunt for a bit more, diving to collect your prey before returning back. You jump off to the ground, adrenaline rushing through your veins, as you watch Neytiri feed the ikran with one of the birds you caught.

“Oh, that was incredible!” you grin ear to ear, earning a smile from Neytiri.

“You are a skilled hunter, Y/N,” she compliments you, “And you have never flown before.”

“I can’t even imagine how exciting it is when you have a connection with the ikran,” you come closer, petting the creature that has already grown used to you.

“It is. It’s a connection for life,” Neytiri confirms, “You feel everything they feel. The freedom, the wind.”

You watch her with admiration, recalling the way she hunts. You don’t think you have ever even come close to being as graceful as she is. Not even in the water.

The two of you sit on the grass, the ikran stretching not too far away from you, closing its eyes. Neytiri lets you catch your breath before giving you the task of removing the arrows from the birds you caught.

“You turned down Neteyam last night,” she suddenly says, and you feel your heart picking up on a faster rhythm, “Did he do something stupid?”

“Not at all,” you shake your head, avoiding her eyes.

“Then why? Have you chosen somebody else?” while her voice remains soft, you feel pressured.

“That is not the reason,” you sigh, “I… I like Neteyam. I think he is kind.”

“And you?” she nudges you with a small smile.

“And I am not worth him,” you shrug your shoulders, hoping that your answer would satisfy her.

“Nonsense,” Neytiri shakes her head, “Tell me the truth.”

You fall silent, biting down on your lip. You didn’t even have the guts to explain it properly to Neteyam, let alone to his mother. Hell, you didn’t know what to say to yourself. She doesn’t know that the thoughts of Neteyam have been driving you crazy. You feel guilty and frustrated because you can’t go back home but you also feel like you don’t deserve to live a new happy life here. You won’t be able to make him happy.

“Y/N,” Neytiri says, putting her hand on your shoulder, “Whatever is holding you back can be fought. The Great Mother guided you through the water, she helped you survive for a reason. Nothing should stop you now.”

“I don’t want to hurt him,” you whisper, “Now is not the time.”

“I used to think that when I met Jake. But it’s never going to be the right time.”

You look back at her, searching for more answers. You recall the stories Neteyam told you about his parents the night you spent together. When you first heard them, you thought they were brave to choose each other. Maybe even a little selfish.

“Mom,” your ears perk up at Neteyam’s shout, as he jumps off his ikran.

Neytiri waves her son over, and as Neteyam walks up to you, you notice blood on his forehead.

“Y/N,” he greets you with a forced smile. You awkwardly greet him back.

“What happened to you?” Neytiri stands up to examine his forehead, then circles him, looking at his back, and arms.

You jump to your feet too, following her expressions, in case she finds something.

“I’m alright, you should see dad,” Neteyam chuckles, then winces, as Neytiri slaps his arm.

“What did you two do? I told you not to be careless!” she gets angry.

“Nothing,” Neteyam pulls away, “We were flying around the cliffs of another island but there was a thick fog. Dad couldn’t see anything, so he hit a cliff. I was just behind him…I didn’t hit anything but when he fell, he took me down with him.”

“Stupid!” she scolds him, “Where is he?”

“At Tsahik’s,” Neteyam winces again, shaking off his arm. He must have hurt it, you think.

“Come,” Neytiri orders.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Jake looks exhausted and in pain, his forehead creased with a frown. Neytiri sits next to him, peppering him with questions while Ronal tends to his wounds. You and Neteyam sit back, the awkward silence between you palpable. He avoids your gaze, and you can’t really blame him for that.

“No, that wasn’t fog," Jake’s voice catches your attention.

"What then, Ma'Jake?" Neytiri leans forward, her expression curious.

"It was smoke," Jake replies, his breath ragged. "I could smell it. And it was too thick. I couldn't see a thing."

You cover your mouth in shock, as a realization hits you. If the smoke was caused by the sky people, it means the trouble is closer. Ronal throws a quick glance at Neteyam, before shoving one of the balms she just used into your hands. When you look at her, confused, she points to Neteyam’s forehead, covered in blood.

You curse Tsireya for abandoning you to assist Tsahik. She never leaves her mother alone, she is the tsakarem! You know that it was exactly her intention to leave you with Neteyam.

“No need, I can do it myself,” Neteyam raises his palms to stop you, but Ronal only tsks at him.

He can’t even see his wounds, let alone treat them, you think. With your breath shaky, you walk to Neteyam, taking in the damages on his arms and forehead. You hope that by the time you get to it, Ronal will take over, so you don’t have to stare at his face. Neteyam looks at you from underneath his lashes.

“Sorry, I wasn’t there today,” he mumbles, “I know I promised but…”

“You don’t have to apologize,” you say quietly, “It was fun.”

“I told you,” Neteyam gives you a small smile.

Knowing him, he can’t stay mad at you forever. He knows it’s wrong to be petty. Still, it hurts.

You gently shove him to turn around to examine the multiple cuts on his back. He’s not bleeding but they look nasty. You take a breath before applying some of the balm onto his wounds, and you see his muscles clench.

“Shit,” you hear Neteyam wince.

You remember the same balm used on you when you first arrived, and the burning pain that followed. Hesitantly, you lean closer to blow cold air on his wounds. Neteyam's back muscles slowly relax under the feeling. It is not enough to stop the pain, but it's still a small relief. You blow a few more times before the burning dies down.

“Turn around,” you order quietly, and he complies.

You feel blood rushing to your cheeks, as you take one of his arms, to tend to the wounds you saw earlier. Neteyam watches you carefully, wincing as you start applying the balm. Instinctively, he tries to jerk his arm away but you hold him in place.

“Mawey,” you whisper. He clenches his jaw but stops moving.

After you finish applying the balm to his other arm, you realize that the adults have slipped away. You heard Ronal being rushed to treat an injured Na’vi, but not Neytiri and Jake leaving.

“Almost done. Now, the nasty one,” you breathe out, pointing to Neteyam’s forehead.

He closes his eyes, preparing for the pain, but instead of the balm, you take a damp cloth to his forehead. He flinches in surprise underneath the soft touch and opens his eyes.

“It’s a big cut,” you explain, “I need to clean it first.”

“Y/N,” Neteyam’s voice is low, “About last night.”

You gulp down, nervously, not meeting his eyes, instead focusing all of your concentration on cleaning his wound. But he’s so close, you can feel his breath on your skin.

“You didn’t have to explain anything to me. I-I,” he takes a shaky breath, "A mature Na'vi must face rejection because you can't force your heart to feel something it doesn't. And if you don't feel the same for me as I do for you, then I must accept that without question."

He is too noble for his own good, you think. You stop, and lower your hand to look at his face.

“Neteyam, you got it wrong,” you let out a deep sigh, “I didn’t reject you because I don’t have feelings for you. I turned you down because I’m scared that it could ruin us and jeopardize you as the future of your family.”

Neteyam frowns, trying to process your words. This whole time he had been so certain that you simply didn't reciprocate his feelings, that he had almost grown used to that idea.

“Why are you scared?” Neteyam takes your hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze, “You know I will do whatever it takes to protect you.”

“‘Teyam,” you whisper, too overwhelmed to meet his gaze.

He releases your hand and cups your cheek tenderly, bringing your foreheads together. Though you're standing, towering slightly over him, it doesn't distract from the moment.

“Please, just for a moment, let me be honest with you,” Neteyam says, nuzzling your face, “Will you?”

“I will,” you agree. All he has to do is ask, you’ll always agree.

“I see you, Y/N,” Neteyam whispers.

You feel your breath catch in your throat. You knew he was going to say it but it still felt unexpected. Neteyam's fingers caress your cheeks with love, waiting for your response. With anything. As long as he gets a response. You lean in and touch his lips with yours, and both your hearts start racing.

There is a small pause before Neteyam kisses you back softly and slowly. You close your eyes and give in to him, as he pulls you closer and closer, until there's no more space left between you.

Overwhelmed, you eventually pull away, catching your breath. A toothy grin appears on Neteyam's face, making your heart ache with love. You wish you could always make him smile like this.

“Now is not the time, Neteyam,” you try to discipline him but instead his smile grows even bigger. Is he mocking you?

Your cheeks flush with heat as you try to calm down your racing heart, but Neteyam only seems to find your reaction funny. He reaches his arm to touch yours.

“I feel the happiest,” he says.

“It’s not the time,” you repeat again, trying to sound stern this time, “You’re bleeding.”

You notice red running from his wound, and sigh, as you take the cloth, and start cleaning it. Neteyam follows your movement with a smile resting on his lips but he lets you work.

You can’t really believe that you kissed Neteyam. You tried resisting before getting sucked into the fantasy of being his, but the thoughts of returning home continue to nag at you.

He doesn’t know that it’s been days since you thought about it. Going home. The nightmare you had about your sister has left you feeling like Eywa was trying to send you a message. So you desperately wanted to check for yourself. What if she’s been alive this whole time waiting for you to come home? What if she’s with Eywa now, and you've neglected to send your prayers, instead living a new life? Just the thought of it makes you feel sick. You know that you can't wait any longer.

Neteyam lets out a soft gasp, bringing you back to reality. You blow on the balm you've just applied to his forehead to ease his pain.

“Thank you,” he places his palm on your waist.

“You’re welcome.”

“Now nothing will hold me back from being yours,” he says, taking your hand and placing it over his heart.

“Neteyam -”

“I know, I know,” he interrupts you, “You think this is not the right time, but what matters to me is that you reciprocated.”

“Of course I did,” you decide to tease him, switching the topic, “I couldn’t break your heart, when you had blood all over you.”

“Is that so?” he quirks his eyebrow, eyes twinkling,“If I had known that it takes me getting hurt to be treated so nicely, I would have got hurt a long time ago.”

“That’s not funny,” you slap his chest, earning him a laugh.

For a second, you’re reminded of the plan you had. You hang your head low before speaking.

“I can’t promise you anything right now, ‘Teyam. Not until I am sure.”

“Sure about what?” he looks at you confused.

“There’s just something that...I need to be certain of before I give in to this,” you say, gesturing between you. You feel terrible for getting his hopes high. Why did you have to kiss him?

“I’ll wait,” he says. You look up at him in surprise, “However long it takes.”

You had everything planned out. It was so simple before he had to come in and mess up your head. You would sneak away in the dark, hoping to get to the Eastern shore by the morning. With a healthy young ilu, the journey would take less time now, and you were confident that your instincts would lead you by the same route you took when you escaped before. You had to see your home.

Neteyam is a distraction. He would come in, trying to save you, hold you back. He will fight you, and push your buttons, telling you that it is a bad idea. Make it harder for you to leave.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

The following week seems to drag on even slower than before, with no news of new attacks. While it seemed like something good, in reality, you were scared that the sky demons were planning a bigger strike. Lo’ak has a theory that they were tracking you down with their fancy weapons, instead of wasting resources on other villages. Neteyam discredits his brother to make the rest of you feel better, but, judging by his eyes, you think he believes it too.

During these days, it’s hard for you to keep your distance with Neteyam, especially when you’re not alone. Despite his promise to wait for you, there is this new spark in him that makes him act carelessly. He can’t hide it around the others, staring at you and touching you at every opportunity he gets. Overwhelmed, in return, you overcompensate by ignoring him. You can’t let anyone find out. Because once it’s out in the open, you’ll feel pressured to become mates. And you were not ready.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

“What the hell, Neteyam? I almost had it!” you shout at him in anger.

“It was going to swim away if I hadn’t shot,” he responds with a self-assured tone, like he is talking to a child.

It was early in the morning, when you decided to head out for some hunting near the caves at the back of the island. And just as you were about to feel the sweet satisfaction of catching a srakat that you’ve been preying on, an arrow whizzed past you and struck the fish.

Neteyam found your expression amusing, not knowing the effort and patience you had put into finding those damned srakat caves, nor did he understand how much it annoyed you when someone interrupted your hunt.

“You should have minded your own business!” you hiss at him.

Neteyam rubs his eyes, and you can’t believe his audacity. He ruined your hunt and now he’s the one rubbing his eyes like he’s about to get a headache?

“Did I ask you to help me?” you ask him, feeling your blood boil.

"Do you ever ask?" Neteyam huffs in annoyance. You have a feeling this is something deeper.

“Oh forgive me, Neteyam, my savior,” you mock him, “What was it you called yourself? The mighty warrior? Well, can a mighty warrior return to being his mighty self and leave the real hunters to actually hunt?”

“When it comes to swimming, I get it!” he throws his hands in the air, exasperated “I always listen to you because you grew up in the water. I know you know better, so I listen to you -”

“Exactly!” you interrupt him, feeling a surge of irritation.

“Let me finish,” Neteyam rolls his eyes. “But when it comes to hunting, why can’t you trust someone who has been holding a bow and arrow in his hands before he started walking?”

“Do you think you’re the only one that hunts?” you ask him, confused. “Catch up, forest boy. We know how to use bows and arrows, but spears are easier when hunting down bigger prey. Especially srakat.”

“A good hunter works with precision and a small window of time, your method was doomed from the beginning,” he argues.

“It’s not about precision, it’s about patience and force! You can’t possibly shoot a srakat from a distance. If it spots you, you’re never going to see it again. You were just lucky that we were so close to it, otherwise your arrow wouldn’t even poke its armor.”

“Yet, who’s the one holding the trophy?” he raises his eyebrow at you, expectantly.

“Now you’re just pissing me off on purpose,” you hiss at him.

His ears flutter in response. Neteyam attempts to cover them with his hands but it is too late. Is this what you think it is? Did seeing you this angry suddenly bring him pleasure?

“You, skxawng. Are you seriously this excited seeing me angry?” you can’t believe him.

“No,” he denies, “On the contrary, I’m frustrated with your stupidity!”

“You’re the stupid one!” you poke his chest with your finger.

It takes you by surprise when he wraps his fingers around your wrist. You’re standing too close to each other, your breaths catching. Neither of you looks away, trying to read each other's thoughts. It's been a while since he's been this close to you since your kiss in the marui, and you’re suddenly reminded why. Your gaze falls to his lips, sending him a sign. Neteyam kisses you, and this time you can’t pull yourself away.

Your bodies embrace, holding each other tight, and as you kiss, it feels like the two of you are fighting over who gets to taste more. You pull him closer by the nape of his neck, and a soft moan escapes his lips. He kneels, and you follow suit, the kiss unbroken.

Kissing him is overwhelming, greedy. You sit on him, wrapping your legs around his waist. Neteyam places your hand on his chest, and you can feel his heart beating rapidly. He reaches for your queue, and you don't resist.

“Y/N,” he gasps, pulling back, “Stop.”

“What is it?” you ask offended.

“Eywa,” he says. You notice he's holding your queue between his fingers. He lets it slip away.

“She hasn’t blessed us,” you voice his concern out loud, “Not as mates anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Neteyam’s ears perk up in surprise, “Did she give you a sign about me?”

“Kind of.”

“Tell me,” he is eager, it amuses you.

“No, I think it might go to your head,” you tease him, with a playful smile.

“Y/N,” his voice is so serious, you crack.

“Alright,” you roll your eyes, letting your fingers wander over his broad shoulders, “The other day, when we were at the Spirit Tree, and it was windy, a seed floated around me, and then around you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Neteyam looks at you offended. You find it amusing.

“Because you were really getting on my nerves back then,” you admit, “And honestly, you’re still kind of annoying me now.”

“I’m the annoying one?” Neteyam’s face lightens up with a sleazy smile.

Before you know it, he pins you to the ground, hanging above you. He seems to like this position a little too much. His fingers tickle your stomach and neck, forcing giggles and squeals from you, as you try to escape.

“Neteyam, stop!”

“Say you’re sorry!” he demands, pausing for a moment to give you a chance to save yourself.

"I'm not going to lie," you reply, your voice catching in your throat as he continues to tickle you, "FIne! I'm sorry! I give up!"

“Sorry for what?”

“Not telling you sooner!”

“And who am I?” he quirks his eyebrow.

“Neteyam,” you whimper, but he shakes his head, “‘Teyam!”

“Hm,” he pretends to think about it, “Not bad but you have to try harder if you want to get out of here still alive.”

You feel out of breath, smiling like a fool. You know exactly what he wants to hear.

“The mighty warrior,” you let out. His face immediately lightens up.

“Smart girl,” Neteyam leans in, nuzzling his forehead against yours.

“You called me stupid two seconds ago,” you huff but he shuts you up with a gentle kiss.

Words can’t describe how giddy you feel. It's unbelievable. You’re kissing him! Neteyam. Just a few weeks ago, you despised him with every fiber of your being. Your grandmother used to say that hate is a form of love, and you're starting to believe that now. Because at this moment, it feels like there's no one in the world except him. With his lips on yours, and his hand gently cupping your cheek while you play with his braids, you feel all the negative thoughts being pushed out of your mind.

“Oh, sweet Eywa,” you pull away from him, suddenly realizing.

“What?”

“Is that why you’re annoying me? Because I was ignoring you,” you accuse him.

“What, no way,” he denies, yet it’s so easy to spot his lies.

“You’re lying, you skxawng!” you wrap your arms around his neck, “Look at that sleazy grin on your face. And your ears! They were fluttering when I was yelling at you!”

Neteyam cracks under your gaze, and starts laughing. You take a second to admire this sound. It’s so genuine, so warm. Oh Eywa, you wish to hear that laughter every day. You gaze into his golden eyes with so much love, you feel like your heart is going to burst.

“What are you thinking about?” Neteyam asks softly, noticing how quiet you got.

“I see you, Neteyam.”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Like on the schedule, the storm doesn’t take long to arrive. Tears blur your vision as you witness a Tulkun floating on the surface with its eyes closed. There are blurs of bright orange at her sides that confirm she’s been killed by the sky demons. Devastation fills the air, with Ronal trying to revive her soul sister, praying to Eywa. But everyone knows it's too late. When she finally gives up, a painful shriek breaks the silence. You sob quietly, as you feel Neteyam’s hands wrap around you in comfort. You can’t imagine what it feels like to lose a soul sister.

When Tonowari calls for a meeting, there is a mixture of anger and sorrow in the air. The Metkayina hunters wear their armors, holding weapons in their hands, ready to fight. Tonowari orders everyone to prepare to avenge the death of Tulkun.

Jake jumps into the circle, pleading with him to stop. He thinks that it is a trap set by the sky demons to lure them out, that they’re planning something worse. When the others try to silence his father, Neteyam intervenes, asking them to listen. His desperation weighs heavy on your heart. Jake raises a piece of metal retrieved from the Tulkun's side, causing everyone to fall silent.

“You tell the Tulkun, if they are hit by one of these, they are marked for death,” he says.

Tonowari seems to listen. He orders the clan to pass the message to their soul-brothers and soul-sisters, and tell them to leave before it’s too late.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

“I’m sorry, ‘Teyam, but you gotta move out of the way,” you sigh, tired of arguing with him.

“I’m not letting you go there, it is too dangerous,” his accent becomes more evident with the anger building up inside, “Let’s wait. I will talk to dad, we will think of something safer.”

“I don’t need you to talk to your dad!” you grow frustrated with him, “I don’t need you involving anybody else. I have thought about this. I know what to do.”

“It’s risky, Y/N, you know it is.”

“I do. But they’ve sent us a clear sign,” you point at the water, reminding him of the dead Tulkun, “They know exactly where to shoot now. Exactly where to hurt. And I can’t keep going on like this… I need to know what happened before I lose my sanity, sitting here and waiting for death,” you’re so tired, you’re ready to break down right here. Just to feel him wrap his arms around you and comfort you.

“Y/N,” Neteyam’s gaze softens at the tremble in your voice, “I can’t lose you.”

“This is why I didn’t want you to -” you stop yourself before you say something hurtful. It’s really not his fault that you gave in to this fantasy of being his, “Please. Move.”

It’s only a second of hesitation on his side but it’s just enough to give you an opening. You charge past him into the water, your ilu already waiting. The cool water rushes over you, as you swim ahead, determined to get as far from him as you can. You hear his voice call out to you.

“I’m not letting you go there alone!”

The death of Tulkun has only added to your fears of the sky demons targeting the Metkayina. Your nightmares have become more frequent. It’s the same one, every night, and you just can't wait anymore for another sign from Eywa. You need to figure out for yourself what happened to your home, and to your sister.

When Neteyam caught you sneaking at night, it wasn’t hard to guess that you were trying to leave the perimeters of the village. Of course, he is worried about your safety. You'll be alone in the open water, with the sky demons lurking nearby, looking for their next prey. What if they spot you before you can hide? What if they catch you? He’s not going to lose you right after he spilled his heart out to you. It’s not fair.

It’s still dark out, as you swim ahead, following your instincts. You can sense that Neteyam is close behind but you don’t acknowledge him. You're determined to see this through.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

As the sun rises, you and Neteyam arrive at the village. You can feel your heart sink at the sight of what remains of it. It’s hardly recognizable: everything you knew and loved has disappeared into smoldering ruins.

You unlink from your ilu, taking a few steps further. Even the sand underneath your feet seems to be dark gray from the fire. Your eyes roam over the burnt structures of the old maruis and the pieces of clothes and weapons scattered on the ground, showing how little regard the sky demons had for your Na'vi.

You feel the weight of guilt and anger welling up inside and crushing down on you, as you continue walking. You stop when you step closer to the remains of a marui where your sister and her mate used to stay. It was easy to tell apart from the others: as the leaders of the clan, they used to have a big home. You were always jealous of all the space they had, which from the very beginning was destined for the children they were going to have. Streams of tears rush down your face, and you can’t help the sobs threatening to close up your throat.

Neteyam, who was right behind you all this time, gently rests his hand on your shoulder. You turn around, desperately burying your face in his chest. He holds you tightly, with his hands on your back, running them up and down in a comforting motion. He feels his own heart breaking at the sound of your crying.

It takes you a long time before you can pull away from his arms, ready to face the reality again. Neteyam asks if you want to go back but you can only shake your head. Not until you know the fate of the Tree of Souls. It was the sacred place where your clan used to go to pray, hidden away in an underwater cave, on the far edge of the island. The Tree was still small, still growing, but it was the only source of light in the darkness. You pray that its secrecy has kept it safe from destruction.

You pull Neteyam by the hand, leading him towards the cave. The once bright and lively colors of the plants now seem dull. As you dive in, a faint light catches your eyes. The Tree of Souls. Quickly, you swim to it, desperate to feel its warmth and connection to Eywa. But the light the Tree radiates is too weak, barely breaking the darkness around it. You cover your mouth with your hands, in shock. Behind you, Neteyam squeezes your shoulder, as you bring out your queue to the Tree, ready to cling to it. You close your eyes, focusing on your bond, and ask the Great Mother for guidance.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

When your eyes flutter open, you find yourself back on the familiar beach. Your village looks just as it did in the past, with all of the maruis standing in place, untouched.

“Y/N?” you hear your sister’s voice, as she appears in front of you with a warm smile. This can’t be real.

You shake your head in denial, as tears fill up your eyes. With the signs you received from Eywa, deep down you had hoped that she wouldn’t be here. That somehow she had survived and just ran away to live somewhere else. That she hadn’t died for you.

But there she was. Gracing you with the warmest smile and wrapping you in the tightest hug. Wearing the headpiece that you helped her decorate, when she was first pronounced the Tsahik of Ta'unui. It was the happiest day.

“Why are you crying?” she asks, pulling away to look at you.

“I missed you,” you sniff.

“I missed you too,” she cups your face lovingly.

Although your nightmare threatens to repeat itself, you allow her to guide you towards the water without objection. It’s crystal clear and the sky is cloudless. You’re not scared that she may let go of your hand anymore. Together you swim, holding hands, and admiring the depths of the sea. As you both dive deeper, you come across a cluster of yellow plants that glow, breathing in and out.

“I want to lay here someday,” she gestures, and the realization hits you. This is how the water takes, claims the dead.

Heavy-hearted, you get back to the beach with her, stretching out on the sand. You wish you could stay with her. Just the two of you.

“Are you happy?” she asks you, “It seems like you’re letting the bad thoughts consume you.”

“You know me too well, sister,” you smile, “I don’t know how to start again after losing everything.”

“You just have to accept that you can never bring the past back,” she responds thoughtfully, “What scares you?”

“I’ve met someone… And I’m scared to promise myself to him. I don’t think I can make him happy.”

“Well, why?” she urges you to open up. You can only shake your head, feeling the weight of guilt crushing you. “Is he kind?” she prompts.

“He is, he has the kindest heart.”

“Is he patient?”

“Too much for his own good,” you chuckle.

“Does he love you?”

“He does,” you wince.

“I don’t see what scares you, Y/N,” she smiles proudly, “You deserve happiness. Leave the past behind you.”

“But what about you?” you frown, feeling like she is slipping away from you.

“I will be the happiest when you are too, tsmuke.”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

When you swim back up, you spot Neteyam sitting on the flat rocks, inside the cave. You catch his attention right away.

“Are you alright?” he leans in, helping you out of the water, “You were in there for a long time.”

“I am… the nightmare was a sign from Eywa,” you breathe out, taking a seat by him, “I think there was a burial ceremony the night when I first saw it. The Ta'unui who lived gave their final prayers to the fallen before leaving here.”

“Is she with Eywa now?” he asks carefully, and you nod, “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s alright,” you sigh with a small smile, “I’m just happy I saw her.”

Neteyam embraces you tightly. You’re not sure if it’s meant to comfort you or himself but you’re pleased, feeling him so close to you. You tug at his queue lightly, signaling him to pull away.

“What is it?” he asks.

“I want to ask Eywa for a blessing,” you smile at him, nuzzling his face, “I want to be promised to you forever.”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

As you make your way back home, you and Neteyam exchange giddy laughs, when he occasionally circles around your ilu, playfully teasing you. This newfound feeling of Neteyam being yours makes you overwhelmed with your love for him. Though you both agreed to wait, you were blessed by the Great Mother and that was all that mattered.

Suddenly, Neteyam stops and puts his fingers to his ear, listening in. Annoyance flickers across his face before he touches his necklace.

“Get away from there, as fast as you can Lo’ak,” he growls, “We’ll be there soon. I don’t care, tell father right now.”

You watch with concern, as Neteyam takes off at lightning speed. You barely manage to keep up with him, urging your ilu to swim faster.

“It’s Lo’ak,” Neteyam shouts, unwilling to slow down, “He went to warn Payakan about the Tulkun’s death, but Payakan has been marked.”

“Is he okay?” you ask worried.

“He’s trying to get it out. But the skxwang brought everyone with him. Kiri, Tsireya, Ao’nung, and even Tuk followed them,” Neteyam shakes his head in frustration.

You swim faster and faster, when finally, you can spot Payakan, with the silhouettes of your friends, standing on its back. Neteyam takes off and helps them right away but you fall back, when another movement catches your eyes. A large ship is approaching and quickly coming into view.

“”Teyam,” you shout, swimming to them, “They’re here!”

Everyone's heads turn in the direction you point. As the ship gets closer, it seems to grow in size, and your voice catches in your throat. Neteyam quickly takes charge, rushing everyone back to their ilus.

“We’re swimming back now, sir,” he presses on his necklace, “Roger that.”

“Is that your dad? What is he saying?” you ask him.

“They’re getting ready to attack. But we have to leave now.”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

“Y/N, help!” you hear Lo’ak’s voice, as you catch a sight of him on the ilu, with Neteyam laid over his knees.

It seems like just a moment ago, you were helping free Tuk and Tsireya, urging them to retreat to the shore with you, as the Metkayina battled the sky demons. Despite your pleas, Lo'ak picked up a weapon and charged into the explosions. Neteyam shook his head before picking up a weapon himself.

“Neteyam, please,” you pulled him by his hand, “Don’t go there.”

“Don’t worry, just get Tuk to safety,” Neteyam squeezed your hand in his, “I’ll be right behind you, you won’t even notice.”

“But Neteyam -” he shutted you with a kiss, before pulling away with a smile.

“Go, now,” he rushed at you, disappearing into the battle.

You shouldn’t have let him go. Panic and fear overwhelm you, as you try to help Lo’ak and his human friend get Neteyam to the land. Your heart drops when you see red running out of his chest.

"Y/N, he’s been shot!” Lo'ak's voice breaks through your thoughts.

Immediately, you kneel down, Tsireya joining you to examine him. Neteyam barely keeps his eyes open, as you take in a deep wound on his chest, blood gushing out of it. You can’t see the bullet.

“‘Teyam! You’re fine,” you touch his face.

“What do we do?” Lo’ak asks panicked.

“I’m going to get my mom,” Tsireya stands up but Lo’ak pulls her back by her hand.

“Ronal is out there fighting.”

“You’re the tsakarem, you must help him,” you almost hiss at Tsireya.

Neteyam lets out a weak cough, clearly hurting. You press your fingers onto his wound, trying to apply more pressure. You can feel the warmth of the blood seeping through your fingers, and press down harder, almost trying to force it back. You can’t lose him now. Not right after you found him.

“Hey, hey, stay with me,” you beg him, tears filling up your eyes, “Tsireya, help me.”

Tsireya complies right away, helping you apply pressure down on Neteyam’s chest.

“Go to Tsahik’s room and find the blue balm she keeps by the wall. And bring back as many bandages as you can,” she tells Lo’ak, then turns to you with a whisper, “I don’t want to scare Tuk, but we must get the bullet out.”

You take a quick look at Tuk, wrapped up in her own arms, crying. You have forgotten she was here with you, watching her big brother suffer in pain. Your heart aches for her.

“Ma‘Teyam, are you with me?”

“Y/N,” Neteyam breathes out, a weak smile on his face. His hand cups your cheek, and you immediately cover his with yours, smearing the blood all over you, “I want to go home.”

“You’re not going anywhere without me anymore, you hear that?” you force yourself to smile through your tears.

From the corner of your eye, you notice Lo’ak and his friend returning back, and Tsireya rushes to him to take the supplies. They flee, as she takes a seat by you again, then brings out her knife. She starts speaking to you, as if she wants you to do something but you can’t really hear her. And your mind takes you to a bad place.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

“Y/N,” Tsireya’s voice sounds far away, “I need you to help”

Everything unraveling around you seems to pass in a blur. One moment, you see little Tuk by Neteyam’s unconscious body, with her small hands pressing over his chest. Your eyes take in a knife, covered in blood, with its sharp tip poking through the blood with quick careful motions. Then, Tsireya throws the knife away, as her fingers dig into the wound. Your eyes widen as she pulls out a bullet, covered in thick blood.

“I got it, Y/N,” Tsireya’s voice snaps you back into reality, “But I think he’s doing worse.”

You only nod and lean in to check Neteyam's breathing, but there's no sign of life. Frantically, you search for his pulse, but again, nothing. When you press your ear to his chest, straining to hear any sound, your heart races. It's like searching for a glimmer of light in the dark depths of the ocean, but at last, you hear the faintest heartbeat.

This weak, fragile beat is all that matters to you. Like a drug, it floods your veins with a surge of adrenaline, tuning out every bad thought and emotion. You quickly spring into action, now overtaking Tuk’s responsibility, as you tear a piece of your cloth to start cleaning his wound.

“Y/N, his lungs are giving out,” Tsireya voices her concern, as she thoroughly applies a thick scoop of the blue balm to the wound. “If he doesn’t start breathing on his own soon, this is pointless.”

“I know… I know what to do,” you mumble, thinking back on the chest compressions Neteyam performed on Kiri when she was struggling to breathe, “But we need to wrap this very tightly.”

Doubts flood your mind as you begin the compressions, questioning whether you are counting correctly or making the injury worse. Tsireya checks his pulse but shakes her head every time, and you feel a sense of disappointment overwhelming you. You refuse to give up. He just needs a push.

“Neteyam!” you shout, pressing on his chest in an already familiar rhythm, “Don’t leave me!”

Tears stream down your face as you press your mouth to his, willing him to take in more air. Suddenly, you feel a slight movement underneath you, and when you pull away, Neteyam coughs weakly and takes a small breath through his mouth.

As you notice his chest slowly rising and falling, you let out a cry of happiness, thanking the Great Mother for helping you. You repeat your prayers over and over again, as if in a trance, while holding his hand. Eventually the chaos around you dies down, and everything turns dark.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

It takes you a few seconds to adjust your eyes to the bright light. As memories of the previous night appear to you, you jolt up looking for Neteyam, and realize that you had fallen asleep by his side.

His eyes are closed, face peaceful, bandage tightly wrapping his chest. Your heart picks up a beat, as you carefully lean in to check his breathing. When you feel a weak breeze on your skin, you pull away with relief. Your eyes roam around the big marui, finding the rest of his family scattered around, asleep. Even Tsireya’s here, her head resting on Lo’ak’s shoulder. When your gaze meets Neytiri's, you notice the dark circles under her eyes indicating sleeplessness or tears, or both.

Quietly, she walks over to you and kneels down beside her son, cradling his cheek lovingly. You see her eyes glisten, as she then leans in to wrap you in her motherly embrace. A small sob escapes your lips, feeling consumed by her warmth.

“Shh, my child,” she whispers, gently wiping away your tears, “Neteyam is strong. Eywa has heard you.”

Your heart fills with gratitude for her words. Despite seeing her son like this, she finds enough strength for the both of you. Together you stay by Neteyam’s side, watching his chest rise and fall with each weak breath.

Eventually, the rest of the family wakes up, one by one checking on Neteyam.

“He will be awake soon,” Ronal confirms her prior reading, earning a grateful look from Jake.

You catch a proud smile settle on her face, as she watches Tsireya carefully switching the old bandages, consumed in her work. You feel infinitely thankful to have Tsireya by your side.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

The dynamics between the Sully family changed overnight. You notice how Jake and Neytiri suddenly seem even warmer, holding each other and their kids lovingly, afraid to lose them. Despite guilt eating away at Lo’ak, he feels accepted once embraced by his father. Kiri and Neytiri seem to understand each other without exchanging a word. While you find Tuk clinging herself to you and Tsireya, her newfound admiration for you evident in the way she sought your attention.

When Neytiri and Jake send the kids off to eat and bring something for them too, you protest to stay at the marui with them. The thought of leaving Neteyam’s side even for a moment makes you shudder.

Instead, as advised by Ronal, you start praying to Eywa again.

“Y/N, Eywa has heard you already,” Jake says, putting his hand on your shoulder in comfort, “Take a break, kid.”

“But what if she hasn’t? Ronal said he would be awake soon but he isn’t waking up,” your voice is desperate, “I am scared.”

“This is his battle to fight,” Neytiri adds, her voice low, “He is the first son of Toruk Makto, born to lead clans, to protect. Neteyam was destined to be strong, you have to trust him.”

“He’ll be alright,” Jake pats your back, offering comfort.

You nod, quietly agreeing. There really wasn’t a reason for you to behave like this, with his parents in the room. And they are right. Neteyam always does his best, you just have to be patient.

“Were you with Neteyam yesterday?” Neytiri suddenly asks, curiously observing your face.

“What?” you’re caught off guard. Is she implying the morning of?

“Yesterday, Neteyam disappeared. And when Lo’ak was with Payakan, he told us that you and Neteyam were coming from the East,” she slowly elaborates, as she pieces the bits together.

“Why were you coming from the East?” Jakes fixes his eyes on you, waiting for an explanation.

You avoid looking at any of them, hesitant to respond. You knew for sure that if Neteyam hadn't been lying with a wound in his chest right now, Jake would be already scolding him for venturing outside the village perimeters at night. You swallow the lump in your throat, feeling pressured to tell them. Yikes.

“We went back to my village,” you blurt out, “I didn’t want anyone to know where I was going, but Neteyam caught me sneaking out. He couldn’t convince me to stay, so he just came with me to make sure I was safe.”

The two of them listen to you quietly but you can already see disappointment covering Jake’s face. Neytiri’s expression is unreadable, and you wonder if they’re angry at you for putting their son in danger.

“Look, I know it was risky and stupid but I had to see what remained of my home,” your voice breaks, as you continue to justify yourself, “And the two of us were very cautious. Seriously, we were completely fine -”

“It’s alright, kid,” Jake interrupts you, his gaze softening, “Did you find what you were looking for?”

You nod affirmatively, noticing a small spreading across Neytiri's face. She regards you with approval, as if what you told them has impressed her. It's the same look she gave you when you went hunting together.

“You’re not going to get mad at Neteyam, right?” you ask Jake, knowing how upset Neteyam gets when scolded by his father.

“I couldn’t think of anyone braver and kinder than Neteyam to go with you,” Jake smiles, and you feel relieved.

“Something is different about you. Your spirit,” Neytiri points out.

“I got the answers to my questions from the Great Mother. I feel content,” you nod your head, confirming her words. She hums.

“Y/N, we are very grateful to both you and Tsireya,” Jake’s thanks you sincerely, “You saved my son.”

“Really, like I said, it was mostly her -” you try to oppose but another voice interrupts you.

“Your voice was the thing that kept me alive, Y/N,” it’s so low and husky, weak. Neteyam.

Your heart skips a beat when your eyes catch his golden ones, looking back at you with the already familiar, already addictive warmth. All three of you are suddenly overwhelmed with joy, as you lean in and begin to examine him, holding his face, his hands, his thighs, whatever you can get your hands on.

“You’re awake,” you let out, already feeling tears dwelling in your eyes.

Neytiri beams at her son, squeezing his hand in hers, as if his life depends on it. You give some space for Jake to sit closer to Neteyam.

“I am feeling better, don’t worry about me,” Neteyam forces a smile to calm their unsettling reactions.

“Thank you, Great Mother,” Neytiri says, looking up, and you can hear Jake repeating after her quietly.

Neteyam catches your eye, his own crinkling in the corners. But there’s something playful about his expression, like he’s trying to hold back a laugh.

“You scared the hell out of me, Neteyam,” you nag him, and earn back a weak chuckle.

Your blood boils at how angry you suddenly feel. Angry at how careless he was. At how he didn’t listen to you, didn’t trust your instincts. At how now he’s treating his poor parents’ reactions as something funny.

“You think it’s funny?”

“It’s not funny, I’m sorry,” Neteyam shakes his head, as he reaches his hand to you, offering peace, “Mother, father, forgive me please.”

“Glad to see you, son,” Jake pats his head, approvingly.

You can’t remain angry, as you look at his hand outstretched, waiting for yours. Slowly, you move close to him, giving him your hand. He squeezes it with a soft smile. You can’t help but smile back.

“Neteyam!” Tuk’s excited shriek interrupts you, as she runs up to her brother, almost falling onto him.

You laugh at her reaction, as Neteyam struggles to hug her back, and her hands almost choke him around the neck. Lo’ak and Kiri step into the room next, their eyes widening when they see their older brother. Deciding to give them a moment, you step out of the marui with a relieved smile.

When you take a seat by the wall, you feel somebody sit down next to you. You don’t have to check to know that it’s Jake.

“You know, I owe you for the rest of my life for saving Neteyam,” he pauses, then tries to joke, “How many of mine have you saved already? Two?”

“Exactly, two,” giddy, you play along by holding up two fingers, “Came really close to three with Lo’ak a few times but then Neteyam took over.”

“Wow. Either you’re really great, or my children just desperately want to give me a heart attack.”

“You should be happy that I hang around them so often,” you earn a throaty laugh from Jake, before his expression turns serious again.

“But really, Y/N…”

“I know, you don’t have to,” you interrupt him, “I care for your family too. Even if it sounds strange, given my past opinions.”

“Past?” Jake quirks his eyebrow at you, “That trip to your village really turned things around for you, huh?”

“It did,” you nod.

“And I’m guessing that he finally confessed to you?” he catches you off guard with his question.

“Neteyam told you?” you ask. Jake hums, “What did you think?”

“Does it matter?”

“It does to me.”

“Well,” Jake looks into the distance, “I thought it would be great if you returned his feelings.”

“But why? I wasn’t exactly nice to you,” you’re really confused.

“You were okay,” he smirks, finding your reaction amusing, “And kind of made a great point about me.”

“I don’t get it,” you chuckle in disbelief, “So you think I was right to put the blame on you?”

“I do,” he nods his head, “You were just the first one to say it to my face. Even I couldn't do that.”

“But I was wrong,” you shake your head, hoping that he’s only teasing you. Nothing about his expressions hints at that, “You know that the demons would invade our islands sooner or later, right? I heard about what happened with Vitraya Ramunong.”

“Yet, I was the one to lure them here,” he adds.

“I don’t understand. You were protecting your family.”

“I know. But it’s not over.”

You pause, confused, examining his face. Jake looks almost defeated, like he has accepted it, and has been living with it for a long time. You feel your stomach turn, as you recognize the nagging feeling of guilt. Feeling of being at fault. Like you didn’t deserve this life, while others suffered for you.

“You think they will come back for you?” you ask quietly, dreading his answer.

“I know they will,” he meets your eyes, his eyebrows tied inwards, “But I won’t let them hurt anybody else again.”

“What are you going to do?”

Jake doesn’t answer, instead staring off into the distance, deep in his thoughts. You think you know the answer already, everything alludes to your first conversation with him. But you don’t want to say it. Don’t really want to think about it either.

“Y/N, can you come in?” Neytiri interrupts your moment, as she leans against the entrance, “Neteyam wants to see you.”

“Sure,” you stand up. You exchange a knowing look with Jake, and try to push the bad thoughts away before walking in.

As Neytiri rushes her children out of the marui to give you some space, you catch a hushed exchange between Lo’ak and Kiri.

“You’re delusional, Lo’ak.”

“They came for us together, you idiot.”

Neteyam lies in a sit-up position, his back leaning against the wall. He smiles, as you sit next to him, his hand immediately taking yours.

“Missed me?” you tease him. Neteyam rolls his eyes before his lips stretch into a smile.

“Of course I did.”

He pulls you gently towards him, bringing his other hand to your face. You stop breathing in anticipation for his lips to touch yours. Instead, he nuzzles your cheek with his nose.

“What if your family sees?” you whisper, closing your eyes.

“Let them.”

You pull away to read his face. He looks tired but his eyes are brighter than ever. A playful smile sneaks onto his face, before he speaks.

“They must know by now anyway. Tuk likes to blabber.”

“Oh, right,” you recall the kiss he gave you on the ship. Both Tsireya and Tuk saw you.

You lean in again, cupping his cheek. Your thumb slowly traces the dark blue stripe on his cheekbone, disappearing into his braids. Neteyam closes his eyes under your touch, and it makes your heart flutter. You kiss him softly, gently. Afraid that if you press your lips against his any harder, he will break into pieces. It doesn’t take long for him to reciprocate, his arms sneaking around your waist and pulling you closer.

Smitten by the taste of his lips, you feel the urge to hold him. You rest your palms on his chest, feeling the bandage touch your skin, and before you can’t register, you involuntarily press against him. Neteyam moans into your lips with a mix of pain and pleasure. Immediately, you pull away, examining the damage. He looks fine.

“I’m sorry,” you breathe out.

“It’s alright, come here,” he opens his arm, encouraging you to sit by his side.

Carefully you nuzzle against his side, his arm draping over your shoulder. The tiredness from your sleepless night and the lack of food, makes you a little dizzy, and as you close your eyes, you eventually doze off.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You shift slightly in your position, hearing hushed whispers next to you. You recognize Jake and Neteyam but it takes you some time to start making out their words. You don’t open your eyes, pretending to be asleep.

“Lo’ak said we won?”

“Yeah, kind of,” Jake’s voice is hesitant.

“So, that man is dead?”

“He is.”

There is a small pause before Jake speaks.

“I’m very proud of you, son.”

“Thank you, dad,” Neteyam’s tone is shy.

“And I think you chose very well,” you can’t see it but you can feel Jake’s eyes pointing at you. Neteyam shakes slightly underneath you, letting out a low chuckle.

“I know, Eywa blessed us.”

“Eywa?” Jake asks, “Oh, that’s good. That’s good.”

Another pause.

“Son, I knew that I would have to talk to you about this one day, yet I am caught off guard,” Jake admits, a hint of fear evident in his voice. You wonder where he's taking this. Maybe you should pretend to wake up to give them privacy?

“Why?”

“Well…” Jake breathes out loudly, “You know that even after getting Eywa’s blessing, you two can still take your time. I mean, there are other things you can do to… give each other pleasure.”

“Dad, please don’t -” you can feel the blood rushing to Neteyam’s face in embarrassment. You hold yourself back from cringing.

“I’m just saying. You don’t have to feel pressured to mate right away. Having kids this young can be too much,” Jake lowers his voice, “I want you to know about the -”

“I know, I know, dad, please stop explaining,” Neteyam pleads, as you silently pray for this conversation to end.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, the guys talk. Like a lot,” Neteyam’s tone turns even more embarrassed, as he admits.

“Alright then,” you hear Jake stand up, “I guess this went better than I imagined.”

“You mean it was supposed to be worse?” Neteyam mumbles underneath his breath. You try your best to force down the giggle forming in your chest.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

As you look down on the water, soaring high in the sky, you feel heavy-hearted. You hold tighter to Neteyam, looking around at the rest of the Sully’s, each on their ikrans, maintaining similar speed. Your eyes intuitively search for Lo’ak, feeling the most saddened for him to part ways with Tsireya and his soul-brother, Payakan. Even if temporarily.

“Don’t worry, Lo’ak, we will be back until they even get to miss you,” Jake raises his voice for him to hear. Lo’ak doesn’t react.

“Come on, brother, you know she’ll wait for you,” Kiri adds, her voice filled with empathy.

Sully's human friend, Spider, is seated behind Kiri, his small hands tight around her middle. You haven’t particularly taken a liking to him but Neteyam says he is a good friend. Besides, he will play a big role in Jake’s plan.

It wasn’t hard to guess what the plan exactly was. From the second you had your conversation with Jake, you knew that whatever he had been planning in the past few months was now a definite decision in his head. Unlike the rest of his family, you were prepared for the day when he announced that he and his family were leaving the Metkayina clan for the time being. And if the possibility presents, and the Sully’s can return safely, without endangering the clan, then Jake hopes to be welcomed back and stay permanently. Kindly, Tonowari agreed, wishing Eywa to accompany the Great Toruk Makto in his pursuit.

There wasn’t much arguing from his family, when they first found out. Of course, they were upset to leave yet another home behind, but they trusted this to be the best solution. Even Lo’ak, who was the most heartbroken by this, eventually gave up on protesting. Wherever the family goes, he has to follow.

Their human friend had a tracker in his mask. And knowing that he now joined the Sully’s, Jake guessed that it wouldn’t be long until he gets attacked again. So his plan was to make a demonstrative exit, flying away from the water, over the uninhabited, wild jungles of Pandora, until somewhere along the way, he would remove and drop the tracker. You would continue your journey, until completely hidden from the sky people, and live for a little while by yourselves. No communications with the human-friends from the labs. No interactions with other clans. Just the family. And, if everything goes according to plan, Jake hopes to return back to Metkayina, where his children felt accepted.

“Just think about it, brother. By the time we return, you will be a man. Even the Olo'eyktan will see you in a different light,” Neteyam turns his face to Lo’ak, “You will make no effort to make Tsireya choose you again.”

Despite the words of encouragement, you feel the heaviness hanging over Lo’ak. It must be hard to be patient, leaving behind not only a soul brother you found but also a girl you love.

Despite the words of encouragement, the heaviness of the moment is palpable. You can feel the sadness emanating from everyone, as they all look back on the water, flying on the backs of your ikrans.

Seated behind Neteyam, you hold onto his middle tighter, reminding yourself of how lucky you were to be taken with him. You nuzzle your face into his back, seeking comfort. Neteyam stretches his arm, patting you on the thigh.

"I see you," he says, loud enough for only you to hear. A rush of warmth spreads through your body, knowing that he truly does see you.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

part 1

wow, can’t believe this is it. also, can’t comprehend how other writers do this, it was a journey… i hope you enjoyed reading this, and please don’t forget to reblog and leave some comments <3

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taglist (also tagging some blogs that i think might enjoy it, and some of the authors, whose works i’ve been reading non-stop to keep myself motivated): @fucksnow ; @heaven1oo4 ; @fanboyluvr ; @ngayawneluoer ; @aquila-de-l-ocean ; @aoteyam ; @moonpetrichors-blog ; @vinnieswife ; @eywascall ; @lxvvvllyy ; @iloveavatar ; @neteyamdarling ; @gloryy-vs ; @girasollake ; @mayhemories ; @suuuupernovaaa ; @love-chx ; @the-demon-soul ; @cosmictheo ; @victoirey ; @your-averagewriter ; @starkeysmoon ; @openpandorabox ; @urlocalfeiner ; @neteyams-tsahik ; @angelltheninth ; @sweetsbfreex ; @forever–darling ; @arachine ; @nyctophicbtch ; @jeojake ; @isabellapaul37 ; @melbee ; @loaksky ; @luvsellie ; @loakism ; @lizziesfirstwife ; @jakesullysbabygirl ; @theseuscmander ; @love13tter

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