#tooru oikawa x y/n

[tetsunova]

i think oikawa’s love is the purest one there is. Yes there’s fangirls around him that he always entertains but is it really his ego or is it the lack of the replication of the love he has to give? He’s never had someone whose really loved him for who he his, flaws and all. He flirts with those girls because the love they reciprocate may be superficial but it’s better than nothing at all. Truly he’s just a kid at heart whose in need of a little bit of love.

[tooruluv]

Tooru Oikawa x F!Reader ( part 2 )

❝ it would be a crack in a cup, always leaking and never holding ❞

description: you hate tooru oikawa, with good reason. the world is against you, it seems, because after a night of hate-fucking the man… you find out that he’s your new roommate. but, soon, the two of you strike a deal. you would get your crush, daichi, and he would get the apartment after the semester was over.

genre: angst, smut, college roommate au, enemies to lovers

word count: 3.1k

warnings/notes: a rewritten/edited version !! mentions of death/killing (you wanna kill oiks), mentions of sexual content, but other than that this is just a chapter that leads into the set up for the whole story <3

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“ better make it fast before i change my mind “ - cold cold cold, cage the elephant

┏━━━━━⋇⋆⋆⋇❦⋇⋆⋆⋇━━━━━┓

The landlord never picked up any calls. You must’ve sent hundreds of texts and called double that, Oikawa doing the same. Endless messages, emails, letters. 

There was never an answer.

Not a reply. Not even a “seen”. Not an “this address no longer exists”.

Nothing.

The two of you sighed, surrounded by the boxes that littered the apartment. You were seething, exhausted, and hungry. This was fucking ridiculous.

The world was laughing at you.

“I say we just deal with it.” Tooru Oikawa said.

It was nearing the next morning and you hadn’t given up with contacting the landlord. He just sat at the circle table that came with the place, shrugging and nonchalant. 

You sighed, putting your phone on the floor beside you. “What?”

“I say that we just… deal with it.” He shrugged again. “It’ll only be for a semester, then you can find a different place and I can keep this one.”

“Why do you get to keep this apartment while I have to search for a new one?” You looked up at him from your position on the floor. The insinuation that you had to move out almost made you choke him out then and there.

“Because I make the school more money.” Right. You almost forgot how much of an asshole he was. “Being on the volleyball team and all.”

“I got here first.”

“Tsk.” Oikawa rolled his eyes. Like a child. “Fine. We’ll both look for places to go. Then we can both move out. Happy?”

You sent him the fakest smile you could muster. “Not even a little bit.”

The rest of the night consisted of you unpacking your bedroom. Both of the bedrooms were the same size, so you didn’t have to hear him complain about the room you picked. In fact, you didn’t hear much from him for the rest of the night. Which you were very happy about, thrilled even. 

You felt better once you had unpacked all of your knickknacks and things, you started to feel a lot better. It felt more of a comfortable space. As long as you didn’t leave the safety of the bedroom.

With your room almost fully unpacked, you felt your stomach growl. A smell wafted through the air, perking your senses. Confusion masked your features as you sniffed again, smelling the wonderful, delicious, gorgeous smell that aired through the apartment.

Opening your bedroom door, you watched as Oikawa paid the delivery man. You heard your stomach growl again.

“You bought pizza?” You asked from behind your newly appointed roommate.

“For me.” Oikawa sent you a fake smile. “If you’re hungry, order your own.”

Rolling your eyes, you huffed. “You’re a dick. It’s the asscrack of dawn, who’s open?”

“The 24/7 pizza place.”

You wanted to rip his tongue out.

“Or are you hungry for something else?” He wiggled his brows at you. You really wanted to rip his tongue out.

“I think I’ll starve.” You turned around and closed the bedroom door, locking it behind you.

You fell asleep thinking about how you could possibly be this unlucky.

“There’s no way!” Hanamaki laughed through your screen. You had facetimed him as soon as you heard Oikawa leave for practice the next morning, ranting and raving about everything that happened in the last day. He immediately laughed. “You’re lying!”

“I wish I was.” You sighed, plopping down on the couch with your laptop. “He even ordered pizza last night just for himself to piss me off.”

“And you’re telling me that you dry humped his leg yesterday?”

“Oh my god, don’t say that out loud!!” You looked around your empty apartment as if someone could hear. It was embarrassing enough as it was. “Is Matsun with you?”

“Of course.” followed by a faint “Hi!” in the background.

“This is terrible. Awful. Absolutely horrendous.” You sighed. “And I’ve been searching for new places or places opening up next semester near campus and I can’t find anything at all.”

A distant shout from his end. “I’m so sorry, but I might have to text you instead of facetime. Family is coming for our goodbyes and they’re finally leaving us.”

“Oh, that’s good.” You smiled. “Then you two will be safely in your own place.”

“It sucks that you somehow ended in this position.” Hanamaki sent you a look. “But I promise you, he isn’t as bad as he seems. He just acts like that to get under your skin. And who knows! Maybe he’s different now that he’s out of high school.”

“Doubtful.”

“You’ll get through it!” Matsukawa interrupted, appearing next to his best friend. “I’ll talk to Iwa and see what shit Oikawa has talked about you.”

“Ah, you’re the best friend ever.”

“I try to be.”

“Okay, go.” You told them. “Text me!”

“Of course.” Hanamaki sent you a smile. “Oh! Before I forget! Do you know who else is going to your school?”

“Please dear god, who else?”

“I heard Karasuno’s ex captain is going there.”

Your heart sank. Your high school crush, Daichi Sawamura, went to your university? No way. There was no way in hell. 

“Don’t play with me, Maki.” You warned.

“I wouldn’t dare.” He winked. “Heard he’s a criminal justice major or something.”

“I’m seriously jumping off of a bridge.”

The both of them started laughing, saying their goodbyes as if they didn’t throw a huge knot in front of you.

The first time you had met Daichi Sawamura was at a Karasuno vs Seijoh game in high school. You were supporting your team, a couple of your friends with you in the stands. Volleyball was a huge accomplishment for the school, so it wasn’t uncommon for most of you to end up at the games or go to tournaments.

The second your eyes locked onto Karasuno’s captain, you knew you were in trouble. It was unreal how you instantly felt the world freeze as if he were the only person alive.

You didn’t know what it was about him, honestly. He was incredibly handsome for sure. But you think that it was the way he controlled his team with little force, simply speaking and them immediately following. The encouragement despite being down. The smile that never left his face, even though he reeked of determination.

You found yourself crushing the instant they called the starting line up, announcing his name and title.

“You’re not even watching our team.” Your friend nudged your side when she caught your stare. “I know you hate Oikawa, but your two best friends are rocking it.”

“I know.” You apologized. “It’s just” You paused, not taking your eyes off of the other team’s leader. “… look at Karasuno’s captain.”

“He is kind of cute, isn’t he?” She looked at him too. “You should go up to him after the game.”

You spluttered. “Why… why would I ever do that? Especially if they’re going to lose.”

“Hey, you guys did really well today no matter the score!” She mimicked your voice. “Especially you, Daichi~”

“I hope you get hit with a fly ball.” You rolled your eyes at her teasing, yet you were smiling. 

But, you did what she said.

After a pretty good game, Karasuno ended up losing. Most of them were visibly pessimistic, upset, angry. As you would be, too, if Oikawa’s bitch ass was the one to beat you.

As your team celebrated, you headed down the stairs and caught the Karasuno captain by himself. He was picking up some left over garbage by the chairs and grabbing his jacket when you appeared in front of him.

“Hi. I wanted to say good job today.” You said as he lifted his head to meet your eyes. He definitely wasn’t expecting anyone from Seijoh to congratulate him. “You guys did really well, especially considering the young team you have. You did really well yourself.”

“Oh, thank you.” He sent you an award-winning smile and you nearly melted. “Congratulations to your team, we really tried to put up a fight.”

“And you did.”

He laughed, still smiling. It made you smile, too. Over his shoulder, you met Hanamaki’s eyes. At first he was motioning, “what the hell are you doing???” But as soon as you gave him a glance and looked back at Daichi, he gave you a smirk.

“I should probably get back to my team, lift them up a bit.” Daichi told you, bowing a little. “Thank you for your congratulations.”

“Oh! Of course.” You bowed back, only really with your head. “Do you have an instagram or something?”

Why would you ever ask that? Now he knew…

“Yeah, yeah.” He told you his username casually. “If you’re ever around Karasuno, we can get some lunch or something!”

Your eyes widened. “Oh, perfect! Yes. Definitely.”

He waved goodbye, heading to the visitors locker room, and you felt yourself relax. Like you had been posing for too long and you needed to take a breath. He was far too handsome to stand too for a prolonged time. And too kind to be that handsome.

“Are you done flirting so I can invite you to our celebratory dinner?” Hanamaki asked as you headed to that side of the net.

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up.”

You did end up getting lunch with Daichi. But it never really went more than that.

You followed each other on nearly every social media, and had some casual conversations about random things. Sent memes on occasion and liked each other’s posts. But your crush remained inside of you, and you were pretty sure that Daichi just figured that you were being a friend.

You weren’t going to ruin that.

So, you maintained your silly, stupid crush to yourself. And he never seemed to notice said crush in those fleeting moments that the two of you would talk.

You hoped that you wouldn’t see him on campus. Or, at least, not talk to him in person. You hadn’t spoken to him in a while, so maybe he wouldn’t initiate conversation if you happen to run into each other. 

Hopefully.

Because of all the people on campus, he would be the one you wanted to cum on in the middle of a club.

You were going to kill Tooru Oikawa in his sleep. You were going to murder him in cold blood and then grind him into bits so no one could find his body.

Because, as you tried to sleep that night, all you heard was banging from his connected bedroom wall.

There was no way in hell that he brought a girl to his apartment. There was no way that he had knocked over every thing possible on the way to the room. And there was no way he was fucking her that loudly with you on the other side of the wall.

Absolutely not.

This was your villain origin story, you seethed.

He hadn’t been home all day. You assumed that he had practice and then decided to meet up with some friends or whatever he did. And as it became dark, you got ready for bed in peace in the empty apartment.

It wasn’t until you were lying down that you heard the door open and close, followed by little mumbles and giggles and the knocking over of something, followed very quickly by his bedroom door being slammed and bed creaking and girl moaning.

“Oikawa~ Fuck! You’re so big!”

Yup. You were going to commit several accounts of homicide.

You put in headphones and some rainforest sounds, hoping to drown out the noise. Instead, your body seemed to hyper-fixate on the noise outside of them, because the poor girl’s moans got louder.

You made a mental note to move your bed to the opposite wall in the morning. And another one to have Oikawa’s body in a bag.

“Tooru, we need to put some rules in order.” You told him as soon as he emerged from his bedroom the next morning.

You had already been up, unable to sleep. You even heard the girl leave before the sun creeped over the horizon. You were cooking yourself breakfast when Oikawa came out, shirtless and messy and gross.

“Rules?” He asked, stealing one of your pieces of toast.

“Yes, rules.” You snatched your piece of toast back despite a bite of it being in his mouth. “Number one. No fucking while the other is in the apartment.”

To his credit, he seemed surprised only for a second. “I didn’t think you were here.”

“It’s my apartment and it was past one in the morning. Where else would I have been?”

“Good point.” Oikawa sat across from you. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“Did I… What?”

“Enjoy the show? Did she make you fantasize about anything?”

“Oh, I fantasize about a lot of things.” You smiled at him. His eyes perked up. “One of which is killing you.”

He only smirked, taking the piece of toast again. “How’s this for rule number two? Telling each other when we’re in the apartment. That way we know if we can bring someone up here. Or, I bring someone here.”

“Text each other a house emoji if we’re here, an x if we leave.”

“Easy enough. Hand me your phone.”

With a quick exchange of numbers, you snatched your toast back. You might as well have given it to him, but you were petty. “And rule three. No eating each other’s food. You established that one on your first day here.”

“And can I add a rule number four?”

“What is it?”

“No falling in love with me. I know it’ll be hard to resist.” He motioned to his shirtless body.

You laughed. Like, actually laughed in his face. “And that goes for you too, you arrogant ass. No falling in love with me, either.”

“As if that’s even possible.”

“Don’t you have a practice to get to?”

“I do.” Oikawa patted your head in the most demeaning manner he could possibly do it. You closed your eyes to try and focus on positive energy and not the thoughts asking you to punch him in his pretty face. “But I feel it will be a bit harder for you, since you’ve already cum on my thigh all by yourself.”

You sent him a deadly glare, letting anger take over embarrassment. He sent you a fake smile, a false puppy dog eye.

“One day, your head will be on a stick.”

“And one day, your head will be on my stick.”

You jumped up to finally smack the shit out of him, but he was already grabbing his practice bag, slipping on his shoes, and out the door.

You were walking home with Liv when you got a text from Oikawa: a house emoji. At least he was following the rules. But the house emoji meant more than just “I am home”. It meant he had a girl over.

“Why’d we stop?” Liv asked, nearly running into your back as you stopped walking.

“Let’s go eat!” You suggested. There was no way you wanted them to know you live with the devil himself, they’ve heard enough stories as it was.

She didn’t question anything. “Absolutely. Classes start tomorrow, anyway. Might as well take a day off and treat ourselves.”

Liv, who was aforementioned, was a friend you met online. She was from America and a year older, yet still spoke informally and didn’t care for much. She scared you a little bit, despite being shorter as she walked beside you.

If she found out that you rode your enemy turned roommate’s thigh, she would tear you to pieces. She knew of your hate for the boy. She didn’t know of the underlying lust that randomly appeared in your tipsiness. 

Hanamaki sent you a video of an apartment tour, completely decorated and lived in. You smiled, showing it to Liv as the two of you sat in a diner. 

“They really made that place a home.” Liv commented.

You couldn’t help the feeling in your stomach. Your first apartment as an adult doing Adult Things... it would never be a home. 

That night, Oikawa had another girl over.

You texted him a photo of a house, though he never sent you an “x” to show his exit. You figured that he was in his room when he didn’t reply to your announcement of “I’m home!”

As soon as you walked through the door, you heard the moaning. The knock of his headboard against the wall. The smell of sex was in the air. 

You sighed, thinking about just going straight back out of the door. But it was already pretty late, and you had an early morning class in the morning.

There would be hell on earth before you would allow Tooru Oikawa the pleasure of seeing you uncomfortable in your own apartment.

You sighed as you entered your room. Maybe he really didn’t hear you come in?

Laying in your bed (which now laid against the other wall, near the window), you found out how thin the walls truly were. He was very much railing her into the next week as her moans echoed through your own bedroom.

You were pissed.

It had been hours since he sent the house emoji. Hours. 

So pissed, in fact, that you got up and knocked on the bedroom wall. The one he was definitely right next too, according to the sounds.

Your knocks did absolutely nothing. You were pretty sure they got louder.

“Oikawa~” and “Oh~ Fuck me!”

You looked out of your window and wondered if the jump would kill you.

“You like that, princess, don’t you?” Oikawa’s voice grunted.

Princess. Now that went directly to your legs. It was the same nickname that he had used towards you as you writhed against his thigh.

You felt your hands drift to between your thighs, but stopped yourself. What the fuck was happening? Why would you…

Rolling your eyes, you laid back.

Living with Tooru Oikawa would be harder than you thought.

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[lostinwildflowers]

A Successful Life

Oikawa Tooru x Reader

Summary: Oikawa Tooru is approaching the biggest volleyball game in his life, practicing all hours of the day, and obviously overworking himself. When you try to step in, the situation escalates beyond what you ever imagined.

Word Count: 1.6K

Warnings: minor swearing, angst, hurt->comfort

A/N: Hey y'all! This is my submission for Cindy's (@vs-redemption) Captain Collab! (CONGRATS AGAIN MY LOVE) I managed to snag pretty boy Oikawa and wanted to pull on some heartstrings! Please enjoy<3

“Tooru, how many times have I told you this tonight, you need to give yourself a break! You are overworked and you are getting burnt out before the biggest game of your life!”

The words ring harsh in the air, and they fall from your lips a lot faster than you intend them to. Your boyfriend glares back at you from across the kitchen, his beautiful face drawn into a harsh frown.

His hands are resting on the granite countertop, his knuckles gripped white with rage as brown eyes flash dark with a growing heat. You stood across from Oikawa, your hands on your hips as you frown back at the tall setter in front of you.

Oikawa’s lip barely raises as he snarls, “Give myself a break? How can I break when this is the biggest game of my life?! I need to be in top condition, and I need more practice to get there!”

An exasperated sigh leaves your lips as you throw one hand up, your fingers gently landing on the bridge of your nose before you huff out with a fake smile, “You are in top condition, Tooru. You have never played better than you are right now.”

You take a step backward, rubbing at your face you mutter, “Hell, I should have just called Hajime. He could talk some sense-” “What? Talk some sense into me?” Oikawa’s voice is harsh, cutting through the sound of his footsteps walking around the countertop to be in front of you.

“Iwaizumi is busy living his own, successful life, just like I’m trying to. He wouldn’t do anything to help this situation, just like what you’re doing,” he growls, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he continues to glare at you.

“Like I’m doing?” you whisper, your voice catching in your throat for a moment. You clear it, glancing away and taking a deep breath before locking eyes with Oikawa.

You start calmly as you state, “I’m trying to help, Tooru. I watched you do the same thing in high school, night after night after night, you would sit watching videos. Critiquing every single aspect of your games, you got overworked, burnt out, and it made you play worse. I can’t watch you do that again.”

Oikawa’s next words are like a harsh punch in the gut, a slap to the face, an arrow to the chest.

“Then leave.”

You can feel your heartbeat in your chest as the world slips into silence, and all you are left with is seeing the slightly blurry figure of Oikawa as tears begin to well in your eyes. You can’t even say anything as you turn away from him, you simply nod as you move toward your shared bedroom.

The sound of Oikawa groaning behind you clangs in your head, but it doesn’t register or mean anything as you feel your emotions start to numb over, and you feel the tears slowly and silently slide down your cheeks.

You quietly grab a pair of pajamas, your phone charger, and a change of clothes before you slip out of the master bedroom and over to the living room, setting up your phone and its charger while Oikawa passes you silently, not even sparing a glance in your direction.

When you hear the master bedroom door click closed and then locked, sobs start to rack your body as you grip the clothes in your hands, shoving your face in them in an attempt to keep your cries quiet.

There isn’t any movement from Oikawa or the master bedroom, so you get changed into your pajamas as fast as you can, hiccuping and sneezing as you brush away stray tears here and there.

You settle on the couch, tossing one of the quilted blankets over your body as you lay on the cushions, once again wiping your nose and face before trying to fall asleep.

Sleep doesn’t find you easily, you spend the night tossing and turning because Oikawa isn’t next to you. He isn’t behind you, whispering soft and sweet praises in your ear for how amazing you are. There’s no loving nip on the neck right before he playfully tugs on your ear with his lips.

You feel completely and utterly alone, and the cold emitting from the couch and surrounding pillows is enough to remind you of that, keeping you awake with its chill and rough texture.

The night slowly fades away when you finally doze off in the early hours of the morning, your heart still aching as you try to fight off nightmares.

Morning comes sooner than you expect, but you were really in shock because of the warmth radiating through your body. You felt cozy and warm, nothing like you had felt whenever you had fallen asleep the prior night.

A soft squeeze on your waist followed by a soft, barely audible hiccup makes your eyes widen, suddenly more awake as you turn to see what was behind you.

Your confused gaze is met with a red and puffy-faced Oikawa, who had tears staining his cheeks, his lip curled down into a frown as he tried to hold back another sob.

You turn to fully face him, gently and tenderly cupping his face with one hand, your heart breaking into a million more pieces at the look of pain and distraught on your lover’s face.

Oikawa flinches for a second under your touch before leaning his head into your hand, allowing you to brush away some of the stray tears on his cheeks. You gently shush him as you pull him into your arms, your own lump growing in your throat as you fight back tears.

“Hey, hey, Tooru, look at me,” you whisper as you rub his cheeks softly, his brown eyes scrunched closed as sobs overtake his body.

It takes another minute of coaxing him, but soon, watery brown eyes gaze into your own (colored) ones, softening at the depressed and scared look in them.

Oikawa whimpers, “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I don’t deserve you after what I said last night. I’m so, so, sorry.”

You go to shush him again, but he stops you, sitting the two of you up with slow movements. He takes a shaky breath before saying, “No, I’m sorry. I love you with my entire being, I should have never told you to leave. And when you weren’t beside me when I woke up-”

Oikawa’s voice breaks and cracks harshly at his words and the meaning behind them, and you find yourself wrapping him in a hug, blinking tears out of your eyes.

“It’s okay, Tooru, I’m not leaving you. I love you a lot, but your words really hurt me yesterday. I’m just trying to look out for you, okay?” you whisper to him, burying your face in his neck with a sniffle.

Oikawa lets out a sad chuckle as he brings one hand up to rub the back of your head with a whisper of, “I know, and I’m really sorry. I just want to be the best so I can provide for you. Everything I do, I do for you. I- I guess it just doesn’t come off that way sometimes.”

This causes you to pull back a little bit, a hint of a smile on your lips as you rest your forehead against his own. The proximity makes Oikawa’s breath catch in his throat, suddenly all of his focus on you, sitting next to him, gazing at him like he was your world.

You rub your nose against his own and whisper, “And I appreciate that, Tooru. I simply ask that you listen to me a little more sometimes, okay?”

Oikawa blinks a yes back to you, brushing his lips over your own as he murmurs, “Anything for you, sweetheart. Are we- are we alright?”

You hum quietly in response, leaning up to press your lips fully against his own, your (colored) orbs fluttering shut on the soft impact. Oikawa groans lightly into the kiss, his brows furrowing as he brings his second hand up to cup your face, pulling you impossibly closer to him.

The kiss is slow and passionate, full of heart-wrenching “I’m sorry’s” and tender “I love you’s”. The brown-haired setter holds you like he never had before, his hands gripping you firmly and securely, as if you would blow away with a soft gust from the Argentinian air.

Your lips slot so perfectly with his own that you almost cry again, the feeling of being loved flooding over your system as you tangled one of your hands in his long, chocolatey locks.

When the setter finally allows you to pull away from him, he rests his forehead against your own tenderly, his warm eyes focusing so intensely on your own that you almost feel like his opponent on the opposite side of the court.

That’s until he smirks at you gently, brushing a piece of hair out of your eyes, tucking it gently behind your ear as he brushes his thumb over your now bruised lips.

“I don’t think you’d want to leave me just based on the look on your face right now, sweetheart. Did I just kiss the sass right out of you?” Oikawa teases, playfully pinching at your bottom lip, before pulling his fingers away quickly at you try to bite at them.

“Kiss the sass out of you? I think that’s my job Tooru, and I think it’s time to get to work.”

[zmalkarnar1]

What about us? Oikawa x Male Reader

Despite having to be at work at 6am on Monday, spent all Sunday night writing this up. Anyone else unable to get a wink of sleep when an idea gets stuck in their head?

h/c hair color, d/n dogs name, d/t dog type, n/n nickname

Angsty. Also SPOILERS from the manga. If you haven’t read the manga and are only on the anime, there are spoilers ahead. Sorry.  Also pretty long.

What about us?

The snow gently fell towards the ground. Y/n felt a shiver run through his body, but despite the breeze, y/n enjoyed winter and the blanket of snow that covered the city. Indeed, the way it reflected the light never ceased to amaze him.

The h/c was pulled out of his trance by d/n, pulling forcibly on the leash, eager to get to the park and the lure of freedom to run. Y/n gave his dog a quick pat on the head and resumed his stroll towards the park.

He wasn’t the only one out. New years preparation had people shopping, decorating, visiting shrines, and in general enjoying the festive air with friends and family. However, y/n was content enjoying the fresh air that filled his lungs with each breath on his own. Continuing his walk to the city park in peace and quiet y/n sighed in content, d/n pulling on the leash again, wishing for y/n to move just a little bit faster. And when a shrill voice called out to him, y/n momentarily wished that he did indeed move faster. 

“Y/n-chan, is that you!?”

He turned his head towards the voice, recognizing it as his heart skipped a beat.

Tooru? But isn’t he in Argentina? 

“Y/n-chan, it is you!” He called, running across the street to greet his old classmate. 

Oikawa came in for a hug, but rather than meeting y/n he found a d/t leaping up at him. D/n, seeing a chance to make a new friend, and being the attention whore he was, hoped to receive pets and scratches that y/n, at times, can be stingy on. At least from d/n’s point of view. 

Oikawa stumbled as the dog leapt at him again, licking Oikawa’s face. Y/n can do naught but laugh,

“D/n get down!” He called, pulling on the leash a bit to take a hold of the animal, rubbing his sides to get him to calm down.

“Sorry about that Oikawa,” y/n says, still laughing a bit at the brunette.

“No you’re not,” Oikawa pouted.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. D/n just wants some love,” y/n said, still petting the animal, “Anyways, what are you doing here? Moving back from Argentina?”

“No, no, just visiting family and friends for the New Years.”

“I see,” y/n said, trying to feign disinterest.

Y/n’s laughter faded away as d/n was content with the attention he was now getting from his master. Oikawa let his eyes wander and y/n kept his attention on his companion, not knowing what to say to his former boyfriend. It had been years since they last spoke. 

“So...since I’m around,” Oikawa starts, hand running through his hair, a sheepish smile on his face, “maybe we can get lunch together? To catch up?”

Y/n shook his head, “No thanks. I don’t really think I’ll have the time,”

Oikawa’s smile fell from his face. “Oh, sorry to bother you. I guess I’ll see you,”

He begins to turn around, but y/n’s voice stops him in place. “Wait. I just don’t get a lot of free time. But catching up sounds nice. You’re welcome to join d/n and I on our walk.”

Oikawa brightened up immediately, “I was on some errands for my sibling, but his seems more important.” He gives a mischievous smirk and falls in beside you as you continue your way towards the park. 

“I caught all your games at the Olympics, you know,” y/n said, trying to fill the uneasy silence that had sprung between them

“You did!? All of them?” Oikawa asked, his chocolate eyes seeming to glow as he looked at y/n.

“Yea, all of them. I’ve watched all of your games since we were in middle school together…”

Y/n cheered along with the rest of the Seijoh crowd as the freak quick attack of Karasuno’s number ten was slammed back down on their own side of the court. Aoba Johsai won the third set, carrying them further in the Interhigh tournament. The teams shook hands and came to thank the crowd, Y/n’s boyfriend giving him a thumbs up as he approached the line, which y/n returned, smiling and cheering him on. 

Y/n turned to leave the stands. Entering the halls beyond, y/n ran into Oikawa’s arms, squeezing the (shorter/taller) male into a bear hug.

“Congrats babes!”

“Ugh, thanks y/n-chan”

“You were great!” Y/n said, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

Oikawa blushed, still unused to the physical affection y/n gave him right in front of his team. Even two years into their relationship, he could never control his emotions, or stop the blush from rising in his cheeks whenever y/n called him his. Or jumped into his arms. The team just chuckled, some teasing Oikawa as they passed. Iwaizumi just stared blankly at the two of them, unable to comprehend how y/n was able to hand Shittykawa’s nonsense day in and day out. 

“We’re leaving soon trashykawa, so hurry up!” Iwaizumi said before passing by with the rest of the team, leaving Y/n and Oikawa alone in the gym’s hall.

“Thanks for cheering for me n/n. I always play better knowing you’re in the crowd,”

“Oh, Tooru, you know I’d never miss a game! Now you ready for tonight?”

“Well, actually…”

The smile immediately fell from Y/n’s face. He knew what was coming. Tooru was cancelling their date this weekend. For volleyball. Again. Resisting the sigh building in his chest, y/n shook away his disappointment and forced his smile back onto his face.

“It’s okay Tooru. I know you need to focus on volleyball right now,”

“Y/n-chan, I’m sorry, it’s just…”

“You don’t need to explain babes,” Y/n interrupted, “I know how important this is to you, especially since we’re third years. Last chance, right?”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you y/n chan!” Oikawa said, squeezing his boyfriend tight and peppering him with kisses on his check, “I promise we’ll spend all Sunday afternoon together once we win it all!”

Y/n smiled sadly, “Go get em my Lion. Rule the Court!”

Tooru squeezed Y/n into a tight hug once more, forcing the breath out of him and turned to join his team. A few steps away he turned to apologize to Y/n once more, but when he did, the hall was quiet and empty. Tooru walked back towards his team, his eyes set on only one thing; defeating Ushiwaka once and for all. 

Y/n wasn’t able to meet with Oikawa after the Shiratorizawa game, teh team having already left with the coach. Y/n didn’t even head to the cafe for their date. He knew Tooru wouldn’t show up. Instead he strolled up to his house, Oikawa’s mother opening the door before he even had a chance to knock. 

“Ah, there you are Y/n, right on time, as always. He’s upstairs.”

“Thanks,” y/n said, climbing the stairs two at a time. As he entered Tooru’s room, he found his boyfriend curled up in a ball on his bed.

“Tooru?” Y/n called

“Y/n-chan, what are you doing here?” he sniffled. 

“Comforting you. As I always do. Besides, I figured you’d forgotten about our date.”

Tooru  turned towards Y/n, his eyes red and puffy and wide with guilt. He began to sit up, but Y/n sat down on the bed and pulled him back down onto the mattress. Y/m wrapped his arms around Tooru and pulled him close, intertwining their ggs, giving him a quick peck on the forehead. 

“I’m here Tooru. It’s okay,”

Tooru sniffed and pulled Y/n in closer, “I’m sorry, it's just…”

“It’s okay. We can cuddle a bit, then go practice your serves and end with some ice cream if you want. Not the worst date we’ve ever had.” Y/n said, rubbing circles on Tooru’s back, and then get ready to beat Ushiwaka next time.”

“You're the best n/n! I don’t deserve you,”

“I know. And you don’t. You’re lucky you give great cuddles. And you’re cute,” Y/n joked, “but, I’m here for you. I’m here for you.”

Y/n let Tooru cry in his arms, letting his boyfriend vent his frustration and anger, allowing Y/n to hold onto him, to pull the shattered pieces back together. And then Tooru led him to the gym where Y/n chased balls and helped Tooru serve the rest of his frustration and self-doubt away. He spent their entire postponed date on building Tooru back up. Comforting his pain, reassuring him and pushing down the doubts building in his mind, doing everything to assure the volleyball captain that he was not only an amazing player and setter, but a great boyfriend as well. And finally, Y/n got an hour back with his boyfriend when they could take one damned hour away from volleyball and Ushiwaka as they walked hand in hand through the town, enjoying some ice cream as they went. 

And Y/n said that it was okay. He loved Tooru, and despite everything, Tooru loved him. Despite the cancellations, despite his obsession with beating Ushiwaka, and the constant beating himself down, Y/n knew that Tooru was sincere when he said he loved him back. 

“And, what did ya think of the games?” Oikawa asked, excited to hear that, even after all the years, he still had his number one fan watching his back.

“You were amazing. I can see all the hard work paid off. Your game against Japan and those Karasuno blokes was the highlight of the tournament.”

Oikawa nodded, remembering the match against all those who he had sworn to rise above.

“I was actually there for that one, you know,”

“What!? You were?”

Y/n nodded, “It was nice to see you play in person again. Anyways, how is Argentina? Meet anyone special?”

“Argentina is amazing! Best career decision I could have ever made, but what about you? What have you been doing?” Oikawa asked, turning the conversation towards Y/n. Y/n didn’t fail to notice that Oikawa had dodged one of his questions, but he let it pass.

“Oh, I’ve been getting by,” Y/n said as they reached the park. Moving towards the fenced section for dogs, Y/n stepped inside, allowing d/n off of his lease, as there were no other dogs around, and throwing a tennis ball, which d/n gleefully bound after.

“I’ve been working in animation.”

“That’s what you always wanted Y/n! You got your dream too!” Oikawa cheered, patting you on the back,

“It’s not the happy ending though, Oikawa.”

Oikawa looked at you confused. “Wasn’t that your dream? Using your art to help create anime?”

“It was. It is. It’s just,” Y/n sighed, suddenly deflated, and Oikawa took another look at Y/n, but this time he truly saw him. He saw the bags under the h/c eyes and the red of exhaustion and worry that rimmed Y/n’s eyes. He saw the stooped shoulders and y/n’s slouch, as if the world was bearing all its weight down on his friend, and it took everything he had just to force himself out of bed each morning. He saw the fake smile Y/n gave him, to stave off his worry. It was the very same Y/n flashed at him while they were dating, telling him that he was okay, when really he was tearing apart inside. And finally he searched y/n’s eyes once more and noticed how the light inside, which always filled Oikawa with butterflies, was faded and dim.

“Y/n,” he said, barely a whisper, his entire focus now on Y/n, “what happened to you?”

They weren’t together anymore. Y/n didn’t really love him anymore. But under that gaze, beneath the concern and care in Oikawa’s eyes, Y/n broke, a tear beginning to drop from his eyes.

“It’s just,” Y/n let out a deep breath, not even realizing what was about to come out of his mouth, “I work seven days a week. I never have time to take a day off, because if I do, I don’t get paid. You know how much I get paid for my art? You know how much I get paid for dozens of hours of animation? One hundred dollars. One hundred. I have seven different animation projects at any one time, and despite working over seventy hours each week, I can still barely afford rent for a god damned studio apartment, let alone everything else.”

Y/n’s voice raised and as it did, so too did his emotions, and the dam he had built up; it didn’t just crack, it burst. Half-sobbing, half-yelling, he continued, unaware of how much he was holding in or how he was falling apart in front of an ex he had spoken to in years. 

“And d/n has a vet bill coming up, which I know I don’t have money for. And I wouldn’t even have a dog in my situation, but he was my moms, and...well…”

Y/n’s voice trailed off as his tears and sobs became too much for him to speak through. Oikawa put his hand on the h/c’s shoulder. Oikawa had known Y/n’s mother was sick. She had been for years. All throughout high school she battled cancer, teetering back and forth between recovery and death. Oikawa hadn’t realized she had passed away.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry,” Oiwaka said, but his friend couldn’t hear him.

“And, I just couldn’t let him go and…” he choked between sobs, “but I know I don’t give d/n the time he deserves, and I don’t know what to do. I’m angry all the time because I work in an industry worth billions of dollars, but I, and hundreds of other animators, barely get paid for our never ending work to get anime’s out, and now matter what we do or say, nothing ever changes. And some days I just get up and want to quit because I can’t do it anymore. It’s making me hate art and animation. It’s making me hate my dream and I just want to give it all up. I just...just don’t know what to do…”

Y/n slumped to the snow covered ground, his knees giving way. D/n, sensing his owners distress, strolled over to y/n, dropping the ball at his feet. D/n raised his head up against Y/n’s, nuzzling it against him and licking at his tear stained cheeks.

Y/n gave a dry chuckle, “stop d/n,” he said, scratching the dogs ears before standing up, “I’m sorry Oikawa,” Y/n began, wiping away his teams, “I didn’t mean to…”

Y/n didn’t get a chance to finish as Oikawa had pulled him into a close hug, pulling Y/n’s head to his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Oikawa whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry you’ve had to hold so much on your shoulders alone again. It’s okay. I’m here for you. I’m here for you.”

And much to his embarrassment, Y/n cried into Oikawa’s shoulder, cried in his arms. His mothers death, the sense of hopelessness as he tried to make his way in Japan, the feelings of his dream dying in front of his eyes. Y/n let it all go while Oikawa held him, rubbing his back slowly and whispering to Y/n that he was here, that it was okay. 

A few minutes passed before Y/m pulled away from Oikawa, once again wiping away tears.

“How embarrassing. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean our ‘catching up’ walk to turn into my sob fest,” Y/n chuckled.

“Hey, it's alright. It’s not as if I haven’t done the same to you. It looked like you really needed that. It’s okay.” Oikawa said, stepping back to give Y/n his space. “How long since your mother?”

“Two years.”

“I’m sorry,”

“Thanks,” Y/n said, throwing the tennis ball for d/n once more.

“Your father?”

“He left. I always was his great disappointment.”

“I’m so sorry Y/n,” Oikawa repeated, unsure of what else he can say to comfort his friend.

“It’s okay. I got past that one.”

“And you’ll get past all the rest,”

“I...I don’t know,” Y/n said, looking back down at d/n.

“Hey,” Oikawa said, lifting Y/n’s chin and turning his eyes towards his own, “The Y/n I know doesn’t give up that easily, not after what you’ve been through.”

Y/n gave him that ghost smile once more, but before he could speak, Oikawa continued.

“So here's what we can do. You clearly need some help,” Oikawa said, sticking his tongue out at Y/n and pulling down on the skin below his eye, “So I’m going to help you.”

“Oikawa, I’ll be fine…”

“Be quiet Y/n!” Oikawa said, his voice high and childish, just like back in high school, “We’re gonna get some exercise running with d/n. Then we’re going to the store and buying some food. You will graciously invite me over for dinner and we’re going to have a good time.”

“Oikawa, I have work to do tonight,” Y/n protested

“What’d you say? I couldn’t hear you,”

“Oikawa,” Y/n said with a growl

“Doesn’t sound like an invite to me,”

Y/n sighed, “Oikawa...you’re not going to stop, are you?”

“Nope.” he said with his stupid, adorable grin on his face, “but really, I wasn’t there for you in high school, not like I should have been. I’m going to be here for you now, as your friend.”

“Just as a friend, right?” Y/n asked to clarify

“Don’t worry, just as a friend,” Oikawa said, putting his arm around Y/n, “Now let’s play with d/n already,”

They stayed in the park for over an hour, playing with d/n, running him to make up for lost exercise. For the first time in what felt like years Y/n laughed, truly, freely laughed. Mainly at Oikawa being an idiot. But Y/n knew he was doing it for him.

And Oikawa, each time he was able to pull a laugh from Y/n, but slipping in the show and having d/n trample him, or reminiscing about times they pissed off Iwa-chan, could feel the blood pumping through his body, his heart pounding in his chest. It wasn’t what they were, but it was something. The awkward air between them when Oikawa first approached had dispersed like dust in the wind, and they were friends again. It was enough. 

Keeping his promise, Oikawa dragged Y/n to the store and went inside, shopping for their dinner (and then some, much to Y/n’s chagrin), and followed Y/n home.

D/n collapsed on his bed right away, falling asleep, content with the day’s excitement. Y/n just looked around his tiny apartment and sighed once more, having forgotten about the disaster he called home.

“Sorry for the mess.”

“Wow. Y/n, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of clothing on your floor before, and now...I don’t know where to begin,” Oikawa teased.

He was right. Y/n was always organized, meticulous, and immaculate, but the stress of the past year had taken a toll on Y/n. Work stuff overed the small table and dest in the room, and the two chairs as well. Clothing, probably dirty, was strewn about the room, dirty dishes and half eaten meals covered the remaining space. And the small bed in the corner was a mess of sheets, pillows and half folded clothing.

“It's been a tough year and a half,” Y/n muttered. 

“Well, we’re going to forget about that tonight. Clean yourself up and I’ll start our dinner.”

“Since when could you cook?” Y/n teased

“Just go get cleaned up!” Oikawa ordered

` Y/n nodded. There was no point arguing anymore either. His small apartment had a main room, where his entire life was stored with a small kitchenette, and then a tiny bathroom with a shower. 

Y/n turned on the hot water and stepped in, wondering what he had just gotten himself into. He hadn’t meant to break down in front of his ex like that. He hadn’t meant to bring him home for dinner either. It wasn’t that Y/n didn’t like Oikawa anymore, but he just couldn’t get involved again. Stepping out of the shower he resolved to keep his feelings hidden and returned to his one room, seeing Oikawa scanning through his work. 

“I thought you were making dinner,” Y/n said, making Oikawa jump.

“Uh, I am. Sorry, I just saw some of your work, and then kept looking.”

“I see.”

“It’s amazing. You really don’t get paid for this?” he asked

“Doesn’t feel like it. Here, let me show you some of the animation work I do,” Y/n said, opening his laptop.

Y/n spent the next few minutes showing off his animation work on scenes from a growing new anime that was rapidly gaining popularity. 

“And you work at least seventy hours a week and still barely make enough? What assholes,” he says, being angry for you.

“Yea. Some nights I fall asleep at the desk. Iwa-chan says I overwork myself so much that I’m hurting my body. Sound familiar?” Y/n asked.

“We’re both two stars lost in the universe, hurting ourselves in order to shine with our dreams.” Oikawa gave Y/n a sad smile, “You hang you with Iwa-chan often?”

“Not really. No time. Not since the just after the Olympics a few months ago. Anyways, dinner.”

“Yes, yes, I’m on it.” 

“Sorry again for the mess. And the lack of space,” Y/n said, clearing off the chairs

“No worries. I’m actually used to it,” 

“You are?”

“Yea. When I first got to Argentina, well it was rough. I didn’t know the language and had almost no money at the start. The first two years I lived just like this. And to top it all off I overworked myself. A lot. I have to learn to take care of myself.”

“Did you? Learn I mean? Doesn’t sound like you.” Y/n teased, his old smile finally emerging from its slumber.

“Nor really,” Oikawa admitted, “But I’m doing much better now. Caught a good break and even met the Karasuno shrimp in Brazil. That actually really helped. And well, now I’m doing alright.”

“You’re an Olympian. I’d say you’re a sight better than alright,” Y/n pointed out.

“It wasn’t always easy, ya know. People don’t realize what we sacrifice.”

“I know, sorry. I didn’t mean to brush aside your struggles.”

“I just want you to know, it will get better. I believe in you.”

Y/n’s true smile faded, and the ghost he’d become resurfaced. He nodded anyways, nor really wanting to talk anymore about it. He’d already cried far too much for his liking today as it was, in front of Oikawa no less. And as Oikawa served the food, they ate dinner in silence, the unease from before returning like a storm cloud that just wouldn’t pass through.

“Thanks Oikawa,” Y/n mumbled as they finished, “I’ll clean this up,”

“Nonsense, I’ll do it. You relax. Is there anything else I can do for you,” Oikawa asked, winking at the end.

Y/n suddenly tensed. The last thing he wanted was Oikawa attempting to flirt with him right now.

“Jeez, calm down, I’m joking,” Oikawa said when he noticed Y/n tense up, “I said as a friend, and I meant it.”

True to his word, Oikawa cleaned and they hung out. Sharing stories, reminiscing on their days at Seijoh. And never once did Oikawa overstep his bounds or overstayed his welcome. Never once did he try to flirt, never once even asked or expected more for what he did for Y/n. Oikawa had grown, and for a moment, Y/n was really glad Oikawa was there for him, as his friend.

“Do you ever wonder how things would’ve turned out if you went with me?” But of course, in typical Oikawa fashion, he just had to ruin the moment. Maybe he hadn’t grown that much after all. But then, maybe Y/n hadn’t either, as his guard had to slip at that exact moment.

“Oh, Tooru…” Y/n said fondly, a weary look in his eyes.

After the loss to Shiratorizawa, Tooru threw himself back into volleyball with a fire that burned so hot, it threatened to consume the boy who possessed it. Y/n went to every game, even practice when he could. Tooru had a dream. Tooru needed Y/n and Y/n loved him. But Y/n needed Tooru too.

Y/n’s mother fell ill again, and his father was less than pleased with his son. The stress built until Y/n collapsed in class, in a puddle of exhaustion and tears. It was only then, after months of suffering that Tooru even noticed his boyfriend's pain, his terror. Tooru carried him to the infirmary. It was then he saw the fear and fatigue in his beloved’s eyes. Guilt overwhelmed him. They spent the weekend together, and for once, Toorus was there, entirely and completely for Y/n. With Tooru, he could pull himself through.

But Oikawa Tooru had a one track mind. Volleyball and rising above his nemesis, Wakatoshi Ushijima; nothing else could compete for space in his mind. Missed dates and meetups, waiting at the school gates for an hour, only to walk home alone and miserable. Y/n suffered, but knew that, despite everything, Tooru sincerely loved him.

Tooru always apologized. He was so sincere. He never meant to forget, to hurt Y/n, and he always made it up to him. A nigher here, a lunch there. But Oikawa was so singularly focused that it never lasted long. Y/n had to beg, or be on the verge of collapse for his boyfriend to momentarily let go of his obsessions with volleyball to focus solely on their relationship. But it was only ever for a fleeting moment. 

Then Y/n’s mother’s health declined again, and as it all piled up on Y/n’s back like gravity forcing him down to earth from orbit, he burned up and broke apart. He couldn’t take it all anymore. He couldn’t help his mother, or change his abusive father, but he could take the stress of their relationship out of his life. However, that very next day, Aoba Johsai fell to Karasuno in the prefecture tournament for Spring Nationals, and a run down, broken Oikawa made his way to Y/n’s home. Still sobbing, Y/n led Oikawa to his room and helped him as he did all those times before. Maybe now that it was finally over, they could fix their relationship. But that was naive. 

Y/n sat in the cafe, glaring at his phone, as if he was wishing he could stop the clock from turning. Maybe he hoped that it was running fast. But it wasn’t. Oikawa was late. Again. Y/n sipped at his hot cocoa as a tear slipped from his eyes.

 It was supposed to be better. Volleyball was over. It was supposed to be easier. Y/n thought. But every time he...I can’t do this anymore.

“That idiot.”

Y/n jumped at the angry growl and looked up to see Iwaizumi standing next to his table.

“Iwa-chan? What are you doing here?” Y/n asked

“Shittykawa is an idiot.”

“He’s not coming...is he?” Y/n asked, though he didn’t need to. He already knew the answer.

“He was only supposed to practice for ten more minutes. I was on my way home, but then wanted to check in on you. To make sure he got here.”

“Thanks Iwa-chan. Is he still at the gym?”

“Probably, knowing him. I’ll whack him good for you tomorrow.”

“No need Iwaizumi. We’re done.” Y/n said, getting up and brushing past Iwaizumi

“I’m sorry Y/n,”

“Thanks for letting me know, Iwa-chan.”

Y/n took to the street, turning back towards Aoba Johsai, his blood pumping furiously through his veins. As he approached the gym, he could still see the lights on, and as he made it to the doors, he heard the tell tale sound of a volleyball pounding against the gym floor. Y/n entered, not even trying to hold in his tears.

Oikawa didn’t even turn, “I’m almost down Iwa-chan, don’t worry.”

“I’m not Iwaizumi,” Y/n sniffled.

Oikawa heard Y/n’s trembling voice, his sniffles, and turned with a look of pure horror and guilt on his face, the voice jolting the forgotten promise of a Friday night date; cafe, dinner, movie, and cuddles. He rushed over to Y/n, apologies rushing out of his mouth, and tried to embrace his boyfriend. But Y/n shoved him away before he couldn. Hard. And Oikawa stumbled back.

“Y/n?” 

“Again Tooru. You forgot again! You don’t even have a tournament coming up and you still forget me for volleyball!” The venom in Y/n’s voice ripped through Oikawa.

“But Y/n, I still need to practice,” he argued.

“Is that practice more important than me? Than my feelings? What about what I need?”

“Y/n-chan, that’s not fair…”

“No!” Y/n screamed, jabbing his finger into Oikawa’s chest, “You don’t get to do that. I’ve accepted cancelled dates and rainchecks. No matter how hard I try, the plan is somehow always rearranged. I’ve been there for you, for three years. Every win. Every loss. I spent dates helping you practice. You don’t get to do that. It’s not fair that you can’t take one moment for me unless I literally collapse!”

“Y/n, I’m sorry,” Oikawa said, and the sincerity in his voice, in his eyes, tugged at Y/n’s heart. But he forced himself on. 

“I know you are. But I can’t do it anymore. My mother is still sick. My father is a homophobic ass. You are supposed to be my escape, my pillar too, just like I’ve been for you. But I find myself ever more stressed because of you. I can’t stop worrying about if you’re going to grace me with your presence for oncfe. I can’t do it anymore. You are so obsessed with volleyball, with beating Ushiwaka, that you don’t see anything else through your tunnel vision. You don’t see the blood and tears left behind in your rampage. I can’t do it anymore,” Y/n screamed through his sobs at the end. It was over.

“Y/n, I can’t choose between you and volleyball, I love both. I need both,” Oikawa said, tears beginning to glisten in his chocolate eyes. 

Y/n took a deep breath and pulled his temper back under reign. “I know, Oikawa, I know.”

Oikawa flinched at the use of his last name. That hadn’t happened since before they were dating. 

“I know. It’s your dream. You can’t give that up.”

“I love you too, n/n”

“I know Oikawa, I believe you do. But clearly you can’t do both. We;re done. I need to do what’ve best for me right now. You’ll be fine.”

Y/n turned to walk out, but Oikawa had grabbed his wrist. Angry e/c glared at Oikawa.

“Let go.” Y/n hissed, pulling away from Oikawa and storming out the gym doors. Oikawa followed him out, only to see Y/n crying in Iwaizumi’s arms.

“You moron,” was all he said before turning to walk Y/n home. 

“I’m leaving.”

A cold, early spring breeze, pushed its way across the park, and Y/n shivered. Yet it wasn’t for the cold. He ran his hands through his h/c locks and looked at everything but the boy in front of him. He noticed the new buds on the trees, and the hint of green pushing out of the thawed ground. Spring was always his favorite season; new life, new beginnings, a chance to start anew. His gaze moved up towards the clouds passing overhead. 

“I know” Y/n said

“And?”

“And what?” Y/n responded back, tone devoid of any feeling

“What about us?”

“What about us, Oikawa?”

“I still love you Y/n,”

“What do you want me to say Oikawa? That I’ll jump on a plane with you, to Argentina? Leave everything behind? Even if I wanted to, what would I do? Sit in your apartment, waiting for you to come home? After how you treated me?

They were on speaking terms again. It had taken a few months, but Y/n was willing to be in the same room as Oikawa again, at least as long as someone else was there. But this was the first they’ve been alone. 

“I...I,”

Y/n sighed and pushed down his love that still shone for the brunette. Despite everything, Oikawa was always honest and sincere.

“I know. I believe you do. But am I supposed to leave my sick mother? No Oikawa, this is it.”

“I’m sorry,”

“It’s a little late for that. I need to get home. Good luck, Oikawa.”

“Do you ever think of…”

“Oh, Tooru…” Y/n stopped as the name slipped from his lips, hoping Oikawa didn’t notice. Oikawa’s eyes widened in surprise at the use of his first name, but carried on as if nothing happened.

“I do, sometimes. When volleyball isn’t going well, I think of that moment in the park.”

“Honestly,” Y/n admitted, “so do I.”

Oikawa perked up.

“But, really, what would’ve happened. I’d have no job, nothing to do, nothing but to wait for you, and we both know how that went.” 

“You’re right. I know it. Doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.”

“I know,” Y/n said, “and I’m not angry at you. Well, I was, and I was very hurt. But I know that volleyball was always going to claim the larger piece of your heart, and with everything going on, I just couldn’t do it. We had different lives I guess. But I’m not mad any more.”

“Thanks. For not being angry anymore,” Oikawa said, perking up a moment later, “Anyways, let's put in a movie we can laugh at and then we’ll have a sleepover, just like the good old days. Don’t worry, I’ll sleep on the floor.” 

“Oikawa, we’re…”

“Just friends, I know, but do you really want to be alone tonight?”

Y/n shook his head, “Not really. Thanks...Tooru.” 

Just as Tooru promised, they laughed with a good movie, and Y/n felt his stress melt away for the first time in nearly a year, all his adult worries fading away with the sound of Oikawa’s voice. And just as he said, he never tried to push past being only friends. If Tooru still felt the same, he hid it well. All except his chocolate eyes which gave him away, gazing a half a second too long on the male. 

Morning came, and after Tooru made them a full breakfast, the two took d/n back to the park for his morning walk.

“I’m heading back to Argentina tomorrow.”

“I guess this is it then…”

“You know, my offer still stands.”

“To go with you?” Y/n asked.

“Yes. You mentioned last night that during the pandemic that you worked mostly from home. You could do the same in South America.”

“And what else Tooru? I’m not sure I want to leave Japan. Besides, I’d only end up on the back burner to volleyball. No. I won’t go.” Y/n said, his eyes determined.

“I understand. It was silly to ask. Give me your phone though,”

“Why?” Y/n asked, handing over the device.

“There,” Oikawa said after typing in a set of numbers, “You have my new number. We can keep in touch, and talk when things get too real, as friends. And I can curse out your awful bosses for you.”

“I could do that.” Y/n said, his smile returning from the graveyard it had been lost to for so long.

“And during the off season you can come visit me. You and Iwa-chan both.”

“Tooru, you know I can’t get the time off.”

“Don’t care. You’re gonna visit. Or I’ll tell Iwa-chan how beat down you actually were and he’ll drag you by your ear to the airport.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Y/n challenged

“Try me,” Oikawa said, sticking his tongue out at Y/n, pulling up Iwaizumi’s number on his phone.

“Fine, fine, just don’t call him. I’ll try to visit, okay?”

“Good. I should get home though. I never did tell my family I’d be out all night. It was good to see you Y/n.”

“It was. And thank you. I needed this.”

“Anytime, it’s what any good captain would do,” Tooru said, turning to walk away

“And Tooru?”

“Yea?”

Y/n’s eyes were glued towards the ground, a slight blush rising on his face. “Oh, nothing, nevermind.”

“You’re blushing like a schoolgirl and you think I’m going to let this go. Tell me.” He said, stepping closer to Y/n.

“I...I won’t wait for you. But if the day ever comes when there is space in your heart, and we’re both still wandering through this world alone...well, maybe we could try again…” Y/n said, looking up and meeting Oikawa’s gorgeous chocolate eyes. 

Oikawa nodded, giving Y/n one last final hug before heading back home, and eventually to where his heart really rested; his volleyball team, and Y/n, back to his apartment, with a new outlook and determination to build on his dream.

Sorry this was so long. Also was originally supposed to be an Oikawa x Male Reader x Iwaizumi, but clearly that didn’t happen. Story kind of took over itself.

Also, if you don’t know, animators in Japan are actually living in poverty despite the industry being so damn lucrative. They barely get paid anything for their art, so most of the people creating your favorite anime’s are barely making it by. If you don’t know much on it, here’s a Nytimes article that talks a bit about it. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/24/business/japan-anime.html

Might be a part II. Don’t know, depends on if inspiration hits in the middle of the night forcing me to write. 

[tetsunova]

i love you

gn!reader x oikawa

genre: fluff to angst to comfort ( read for it to make sense *winks*)

wc: 1.4k i think

a:/n: me the whole time writing this- :(((

warning: it goes into depth about oikawa’s thought spirals and insecurities, if you resonate with him in any way and find those topics triggering then please don’t read

masterlist

he said he loved you and he meant it.

he said he loved you every time he won a match. You’d be lifted in his arms and twirled around in excitement as he sealed the three words with a kiss filled with all the love and joy he had to offer.

he said he loved you when you went out of the way to go to the court late at night, just so you could talk oikawa out of practicing any longer. He’d realise how tired he actually was and how grateful he was to have someone strong enough to negotiate and bring him back home. those nights he’d send a text, i love you angel thank you for everything

he said he loved you when you’d fall for his charms and comply with him over having a sleepover. For him, you wearing his clothes, clearly a bit to big on you, was the cutest sight he’d ever witnessed. That’s when he’d lift you up and slam dunk you on the bed, refusing to let go until you both were asleep and he wasn’t in control of his actions. no pee breaks either sadly.

he said he loved you when you needed the reassurance. Getting together with him meant dealing with all the hate that would come your way, standing up for yourself, your relationship with him when everyone else was against it. Sometimes it got a little too much and your head was your biggest enemy. Times like these was when he’s whisper sweet affirmations into your ear as you wrapped your arms around him and let it all out.

he said he loved you while he held your hand in his, claiming they’d keep yours much warmer than gloves. He couldn’t help but blush when you agreed to his comment and looked at him with one of the most genuine and enthralling smiles he’d ever seen. Right then and there, he’d melt. Replicating your smile in response; a simple moment but so precious to him.

he said he loved you before going and sitting with his friends during lunch while you sat with yours, occasionally giving you a sweet smile when his eyes met yours. he’d always make a gesture towards you, even if he was mid-conversation, sometimes even mouthing the eight letters and giving a toothy smile after.

he said he loved you but his kisses had gotten faster than they used to be. small pecks were all you’d share, even less in public. his eyes didn’t have a sparkle after nor were they dilated, they were just brown, lifeless orbs hanging over the smile that was no more the wholesome one he gave you. it had turned to the one he’d greet his fans with.

he said he loved you so why did he never show up to dates on time? it was routine for you to wait for half an hour and once he’d arrive, there was no apology, somehow you were expected to understand. conversations on these occasions were small and he wouldn’t walk together with his arm enveloping your back anymore.

he said he loved you but you loved him too. He thought you wouldn’t, yet you noticed the grey bags under his eyes, the way his hair was slightly messy, how he’d occasionally limp his foot and they way his eyes were slightly red at times. you knew him just as well as he did you, which is why it was obvious to you that he was spiralling again- going back down the dark hole filled with thoughts of thinking nothing he’d ever do was ever enough, or how even missing one practise would ruin all his work; oikawa had to push himself harder or else he’d fail and disappoint everyone around him, including himself.

he said he loved you but couldn’t bring himself to say it nor show the love he had for you. His eyes were lifeless due to the lack of sleep, hair messy since he couldn’t bring himself to look at the reflection the mirror portrayed for all he saw was a disappointment. his leg was hurting, telling him to stop, no, begging him to halt and take a break but he didn’t listen, his mind didn’t let him. it was clear that oikawa had been crying, likely crying himself to sleep but never asking anyone for help nor talking to you; he thought he’d come across as a burden, a good for nothing, weak guy who was only sought after for his looks.

he said he loved you for a reason. oikawa had been pushing you away and frankly he thought it had worked. he wasn’t happy about it, knowing any day now you’d be ending things with him and in a couple weeks you’d probably move on to someone else who could treat you much better than he ever had, ever will and ever could. by the looks of it, things were going the way he expected them to. why would you be at his door at this hour otherwise?

he said he loved you and he really did, hell he even saw a future with you, all he wished was for you to stay a little longer, but that’s on him isn’t it? he could have chosen to be happy- once again he’d self-sabotaged his own future and was almost sure he was going to lose the one thing he’d truly loved with all his heart. but wait, why could he feel atms envelope around him? there was mere silence, absolutely no shouting, screaming or crying. “i’m here for you tooru” was the first thing you said to him. “don’t push me away” the second “please” the third and “i love you, let me be there for you” the last.

he said he loved you, which is why he took a chance and broke down the last wall he’d created against you. there was nothing for him to say, for the very first time oikawa tooru was speechless. You could feel his chest rise and fall quickly while quiet, quick and little sniffles reached your ear. ‘why?’ he asked softly “what?” ‘why are you still here?’ “that’s simple,” you replied “it’s because i love you ‘ru” ‘why?’ he needed the reassurance, needed someone to tell him the thoughts in his head were only thoughts not snippets of reality or what he deserved, “what not to love” you chuckled a little, “i love who you are- the way you secretly make sure everyone you love is never sad even in the slightest. i love how you know what you want and will try your best to achieve it” you sighed “even when sometimes you push yourself a little too far” his sniffles grew a bit louder, “but,” he said “it’s still not enough” another sniffle, “it never will be”. ‘what makes you think that? you’re great the way you are tooru, nobody i ever know works as hard as you do, you think it’s not enough now but overworking isn’t good either’ you took his palm in yours, gently rubbing circles hoping they’d help calm him down. “you’re doing great tooru, it may not seem like it now but i know i’m not the only one that thinks that way. there’s so many people that look upto you because of the things you’ve achieved. don’t just forget about that love, it won’t do you any good.”

he said he loved you but his insecurities got the best of him. ‘why are you still with me?’ you felt his heartbeat racing as you lay your head against his chest while he placed his on your shoulder all while he had started to slowly crumble and bend his feet to sit down, barely being able to balance himself, ‘because i can’t imagine myself being with anyone that’s not you’ “why not find someone who can give you all the time i can’t, who you could build a home with” ‘why would i when my home’s right here with me?’ “how can you love someone like me?” ‘you’re not unlovable. sure, it can get a little messy sometimes but isn’t that what love is all about? growing together while also helping the other grow? you’ve done so much for me ‘ru i don’t know if you’ve realised it or not but you really have and i’m here to do the same, even if it means telling you how much i love you a thousand times; whatever it takes.”

‘i love you’ he said.

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[tetsunova]

imagine being in love with oikawa, the silly volleyball player whose souls never gets old no matter what his physical age may be. Loving him is like loving a school boy; you realise every time he intertwines your hand in his and gently sways them while lightly skipping forward with a smile that never seems to leave his face. When he’s around you, to him, you’re all the he has ever known and will ever know. Who knows what the future holds for the two of you, but for now, he lives for you and the love you give him; the one thing he’ll cherish for the rest of his life.