#durges last letter to gortash

[atieflingbard]

Perhaps, a lifetime ago, we were soulmates. I feel it in my bones, every time I look at you. But my heart longs for another. Imagine my surprise at myself, a bhaalspawn who fell in love— not once, but twice. Everything about the feeling, even now, is so foreign, so wrong. I know it’s not what I was made to be.

Even though I’m not the person I was before I lost my memories, and maybe the passion between us has changed— you cannot deny that I care about you, and for you.

You cannot say that I’ve never done anything for you.

I’ve defied my very reason for existing for you.

[baibaibebe]

So while discussion (debate?) rages about Gale Hotfix #17 and necessary/unnecessary changes to characters I was re-reading Gortash in-game letters (because what else would I do in my spare time pff) - and thought I was going more insane because there was new letters I swear I'd never seen before and I had only picked them up again in the new run last night.

Unless I'm going crazy, I'm 99.9% sure they changed the Franc Peartree letters! RIP My Gratitude and Gortash's love for slithering, wet malice.

An Offer was the other letter which from memory had interesting wording about how Gortash liked Franc (and was a potentially interesting counterpoint to his Durge dialogue to put doubt in how exclusive those feelings were) but very certain that was changed too:

[spellmage]

i really like the idea that the dark urge had precisely no romantic experience before gortash. they lived their life solely for bhaal and suffered no distraction. they were a vessel, barely even a person— created to be the last soul alive

and all of a sudden this greasy, disgustingly charismatic guy comes along and messes durge up so thoroughly that they not only prayed for their father’s forgiveness in the present, but also had to reassure said father that they would definitely 100% still kill gortash at the end of it

even better is the idea that they had no idea what the Horrible Feelings they were having for gortash even were, so they were utterly confused writing letters to their dad like ‘sorry i really like being around gortash and his plans are REALLY clever and he’s a genius did i mention that he’s clever but also no worries! i will kill him i promise! love you!’

[mercer-frey]

since ppl seemed to have liked the last one, here's some more from between durge and Gortash, planning for the crown heist.

Book is called 'Scrapbook of Letters' found in Gortash' chest upstairs in his parents home.

Edited to show both pages in one picture,,, why do the text start on the right page,,,,,,,,,,

[gortashs-skidmark]

Zevlor probably didn't stay in Baldur's Gate.

JUST SO YA'LL KNOW - LITTLE DND LORE - and to stop the anger at Larian Studios who didn't add him in Act III.

Zevlor was a Hellrider during The Descent- when Elturel fell into Avernus from the banks of the Chionthar River, into Zariel's hands and dumped into her Army during The Blood War (which Karlach fought in).

Hellrider's are highly skilled Cavalry and super loyal to their allies. After the Descent, all tieflings were expelled from Elturel.

And Zevlor lead refugees, as we know, and HELLRIDERS WERE ARRESTED ON SIGHT BY FLAMING FIST AT BALDUR'S GATE. That is a CANON FACT.

Baldur's Gate were Elturel's rivals. BALDURIANS ONLY THOUGHT HELLRIDERS CAME IN TO CAUSE TROUBLE WHICH ISN'T TRUE, AND IT STARTED A FIGHT BETWEEN THEM.

So Zevlor was either arrested, or went somewhere else. He met up with other hellriders in Baldur's Gate. Probably Reya Mantlemorn (From Baldur's Gate: Descent into Avernus, just lore)

FUCK. FUCK BALDURIANS. I LOVE HELLRIDERS.

Edit: Someone reblogged and reminded me you get an epilogue letter from him. He does meet up with the Hellrider's in Baldur's Gate, but the rest is up for interpretation. and he's an EX-hellrider, bc of his race. thank you!! @cinnasalmon and @dykeguro

I don't wanna lead anyone astray. I enjoy lore accurate shit.

Also check out the hellrider canon lore i simplified. it's under work and being added to but i'm getting there

ℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨℨ

If you liked this, check out my blurb about the last 10 years of baldurian history and it's relation to durge/gortash. Thank you for reading :)

[bones-and-bondage]

It's fascinating looking at how Gortash works to fabricate the public image between himself and the Dark Urge in his memoir (knowing full well that if their plan goes off without a hitch, no one with a brain to think on their own will be reading it). Who is it for, Gortash? Who are you lying to? Yourself? Or perhaps for the Dark Urge, should they ever come back with memory loss issues???

Here we see, in his order of events, the Dark Urge and himself both being named Chosen of their respective gods after the heist from the House of Wonders. That's curious, considering there is a journal entry from the Dark Urge, referring to preparing for this same heist, and they refer to Gortash as Bane's Chosen.

Commentary to expand upon another time, but the way the Dark Urge uses Enver Gortash's full name sounds as though they have known one another for at least some time. In the few examples we get of the Dark Urge's writing-- well, the two others, let's be honest here-- we see the Durge's notes about Orin, in which they never refer to her by name. And then in the Prayer for Forgiveness, again we see Enver Gortash-- directly after stating admiration. In the rest of the letter, the Dark Urge refers to everyone by last name only. This writing samples also show, quite clearly, that the Dark Urge had their head together quite well and were actually somewhat eloquent as a writer before getting an Orin Lobotomy and tadpole. Again, something for me to rant on another time.

So my question is, when Gortash approached the Dark Urge about the heist, was he already Bane's Chosen? Was he presenting himself as Bane's Chosen for his own advantage in the exchange so there was less of a power imbalance going into things, perhaps even as a potential safety measure? Or is Gortash manipulating the timeline purely for the memoir to make it seem like they rose to power together, at the same time, always as equals?

[kawareo]

My Durge's stats pre-tadpoles are absolutely insane so I've been thinking what it'd look like if Orin failed to lobotomize him... Like the fight with him a Tav would have to win?

It'd be a bitch but there'd be fun options to make it easier and winnable

Him and Gortash would be working together still but what'd complicate things would be that Bhaal would've grown impatient and reduce Durge to a mess that would've dragged hinself in his temple and stay there. When Tav talks to Gortash, Gort has a massive fresh scar over his neck where Durge nearly killed him last time they were together. Gortash sends Tav to the temple but he fully expects/hopes they would die and that that could bring Durge back to his own mind.

If Orin would still be alive? Tav could make a deal with her that she'd help them find the temple, where she'd eventually need help in the combat with Durge, but if Tav would've helped her, that'd initiate a fight with the entire temple and with Orin, who'd be furious that you intervened.

Then, fight with Durge would be a bitch to win, but there would be some ways to get around and make it easier. Most of all would be useful a Persuasion or Deception proficency, and also going around Baldur's Gate and finding information about him - what would be Tav's best option would be to provoke Durge to a degree that he loses his already fragile cool and Bhaal forces a Slayer form on him - that way he loses his spellcasting abilities and also the double attack he gets from his fighter levels, and his paralysis weapons!

Options for that would get him to lose his shit would be

- [Deception] Gortash has sold you out, you mad dog. You've grown too unpredictable after what happened, we're here to put you down.

Has Advantage if Tav found notes between them or used Detect thought when talking to Gortash and asking him about his injury. He lies to Tav's face but thinks about how Durge mauled him last time they fucked and Gortash had to fight him off of him

- [Persuasion] Look at what you've became; Chosen of Bhaal, yet fighting His gifts? Your own Kin died for what you're rejecting so.

Only available if the above mentioned Orin thing happens. Durge stares at her corpse for quite a while, then proceeds to sort of... Give up. Accepts the Slayer and surrenders himself fully to his Father.

- [Persuasion] [Unholy Assassin] You think you know better than your own god, Chosen? You, who has failed him so in every way?

He starts to yell at Tav that he didn't fail, then as if something hit him, clutches his head and starts begging Father for forgiveness (reciting some parts of Prayer of Forgiveness). While he prays, he cuts himself, the blood drips down his arms and draws itself into the circle of Summoning for the Slayer.

When Tav wins, Durge lays there dying for just a bit longer, stares into nothing and clutching at his wounds and begging Father to forgive him because "im not done yet, Father, please, I can do better, plea-!" And then his eyes roll up suddenly and he dies in a moment, when Bhaal chooses so. His body falls apart and leaves behind only the Stillmaker, his Netherstone, and a half-writen letter that's like Prayer of Forgiveness, but adressed to Gortash and one Durge never got to finish.

The idea is very rough but essentially I love the thought that Bhaal is the one who fucks it all up because he can't be patient for two minutes, and Gortash is still delusional enough for him to hope Durge can go back to normal. If you win and kill Durge, Gortash will be upset and surprised, but will kind of shut off the grief in the moment to focus on dominating the brain. If you would've lost, the canon ending would be that Durge pulls through with the stones, him and Gortash get the Brain under control, and then Durge almost immediately slaughters both of them, leaving Toril to the Brain's mercy.

Another bonus option in the dialogue would be to tell him that you killed Gortash, but if you lied or didn't have Gortash's head to prove it, he would just laugh at you. That option wouldnt be a good idea in any way, because if you wouldn't pass the deception check (DC20) or wouldn't have the head, the laugh would clear his mind enough for him to focus on the fight (not as a Slayer) and if he WOULD believe you, he'd get so angry that he would start a fight with an extra feature that would be an absolute bitch to deal with.

[lunarreverb]

Just finished the silliest BG3 run that was.... not really a speedrun, but a mess-around solo run to see what happens if you effectively skip Act 1 and 2 (to the extent possible) and recruit nobody. Here's Bunnie the gnome; she's quick like a bunny!

Some of the most interesting things I found under the cut!

If you immediately jog over from the Nautiloid to the mountain pass area, Shadowheart will catch up to you and try to party up.

You can reject her company, of course; if you do, the artefact just appears in your inventory later after this brief cutscene saying ''you got the plot device.' The Emperor never addresses this at all but I have to assume it just looked at the both of you liked your main character energy better.

(For her part, Shadowheart will hang out indefinitely in front of the path to the mountain pass, insisting that you need her to come with you. She never seems to realize that the artefact ditched her, but seems to have the 'shielded' effect on her for as long as you can still go back to that area to check on her, so idk. I assume she dies/ceremorphosizes at some point after you leave the shadow cursed lands.)

If you leave for the mountain pass without encountering Raphael, he just shows up in your camp, and you do NOT have a choice to go to bed without speaking to him, lol.

What happens to Lae'zel is SUPER interesting. If you don't encounter her in the cage outside of the grove, the game gives you a second chance by setting her outside of the monastery, wandering around.

If you don't join her there, either, you will find her at the entrance of the Shadow-Cursed lands, extremely dead. I imagine this is just the game's way of making sure you see she's dead, but I would have assumed for sure that without player intervention she would've died in the zaith'isk? I wonder what sequence of events is implied by this? Maybe she broke out of the zaith'isk on her own, escaped the creche, but had nobody to warn her that she needed a torch in the Shadow-Cursed lands? Maybe the gith sent her on an errand before they let her have a turn in the cleansing machine? Unclear!

Your dream guardian comments that it's impressed by your efficiency by skipping over the grove entirely:

This is different from what it says if you actively durge the grove, where it insinuates that you did what you did to infiltrate the cult and asks whether or not you have regrets about that.

If you don't go to Last Light Inn at all, you can meet Jaheira for the first time at the bridge to Moonrise tower. She does NOT react well if you answer her question by saying "I'm busy, get out of the way"; this will aggro the Harpers (understandably). I ultimately decided to sneak around the back and I didn't canonically meet her for the first time until after defeating Ketheric. She will automatically join your camp for the one night on the way to Baldur's Gate, but she will leave forever (leaving you a letter saying "bye") once you get to the Lower City if you tell her at Moonrise you don't want her in your party.

She does not survive the events of the game if you do not let her join your party, it seems. (I did not pursue the Minsc storyline and I do not know if it's possible to prevent this outcome that way.)

This next bit is REALLY wild; in all of my other playthroughs, I don't think I ever tried defeating Gortash before I disabled the Steel Watch. You can defeat Gortash at his inauguration, and the Absolute will immediately be your bestie about it and will helpfully murder any of the witnesses (including Ulder Ravengard, I think; I took care not to kill him but he vanished anyway.)

The next thing that happens doesn't actually make sense but is interesting nevertheless. Once Gortash is dead, the Steel Foundry is automatically blown up, and the Absolute speaks encouragingly to the player through the Steel Watchers:

I'm actually stumped about how the Absolute can control the Steel Watchers without the corresponding tadpoled brains in the Foundry (which I have to assume got crushed in the rubble?) Oh well. In any case, the Steel Watchers are friendly and will even be allied with you if you get into any scuffles with the Fist, until you kill Orin. After you kill Orin, every Steel Watcher is immediately hostile AND will sic the Fist on you, too.

(Funny story, I actually managed to down one of the Watchers next to the Steel Watch fan group on the north end of Wyrm's Crossing and uh. The Watcher blew up one of the fanboys. Oops. RIP Trinigan Gazotts.)

I kinda want to write a whole post about just this, but Shadowheart's parents are still put up on display in the House of Grief basement in spite of the fact that she is almost certainly (?!) dead and/or a mindflayer by this point:

You can talk to them but you cannot help them in any way. I'm aware that this is just a tease for Shadowheart's plot, but I want to nitpick this so bad. The Sharrans have regular prison cells in the building; what is the point of hanging up these two on the Spencer's Gifts lights indefinitely? Whatever bummer vibes Shar is getting off of them can not be enough to pay for their magical upkeep. Do the Sharrans have to take them down at mealtimes, or are they fed with sandwiches on sticks, or...?

The love test at the circus is NOT interesting; the dryad assumes that you are in love even if you are forever alone and gives her usual sales pitch about bringing the one you love to her.

If you didn't save Wulbren or Barcus, the entrance to the Ironhand Gnomes' cave is just blocked off.

Astarion's unfortunate end if you don't recruit him has been covered in great detail by other posts, but I will remark that it is funny to kill Cazador yourself as a gnome because you have to hop up to stab him. It's also very, very funny to see Cazador explain his whole evil plot to you, random gnome woman who just showed up, if Astarion isn't around. This man is desperate for somebody to think he's cool, so I guess he'll settle for attention from the cattle if he's gotta.

Volo still shows up tied to that trolley cart by the foundry, but there's no angry mob around him.

If you haven't encountered the inquisitor at the creche, or the avatar of Vlaakith in the shadow cursed land, they both show up in the Elfsong's basement

There is no hag plot if you did not encounter Ethel. The captain at the Blushing Mermaid is just as she seems, there's no hag lair, and Vanra and her mother want nothing to do with you. There's no hag support group; that house has a group of random hostile thugs in it instead (with a tenuous tie-in to Ninefinger's Guild).

In Act 3, Raphael will totally say "listen here you little shit" if you hassled him outside of the mausoleum in Act 2 by, oh, I don't know, casting Silence on him? (after which he does NOT give you the Yurgir quest, he just leaves).

Bluurg and Omeluum do not show up at the Society of Brilliance's lodge if you did not meet them in the underdark in Act One, but there is a letter indicating that they will show up later. I checked, and Omeluum is also not in the Iron Throne.

Nothing funny or new happened with Orin. I threw her in a pit. BUT worth mentioning? You can skip the entire Bhaalist powerword kill trial if you just send one invisible party member through the area and just find the warppoint near the temple afterward. You're welcome.

If you get to the epilogue alone, Milil will comment that he expected more guests, but Withers will speak as if multiple people are there no matter what

Also, if you are a lonely little mindflayer, this has no effect on the refreshments offered at the epilogue party. Mindflayers can drink alcohol, apparently, but obviously nobody is here to eat all the food Withers put out. WTF, pee paw.

And I think that's mostly all the was interesting or different in this run. It was a fun challenge!

[tacogoats]

Thinking about a Durge who has rejected Bhaal, and whatever person they used to be, but still secretly longs for their lost memories. A Durge that, despite the answers the man could give them, would never re-ignite that strange passion they were shown they once had for Gortash. A Durge that has, for all purposes to the others in their party, moved on. A Durge that, six months after that day atop the Netherbrain, at a party celebrating their new life, receives a strange letter with an even stranger gadget hidden inside.

The meeting at the inauguration was a strange one. Despite Gortash's very obvious elation at seeing what he'd called his 'dearest friend', the man had no hesitation very proudly detailing the Dark Urge's grand scheme; their grand design for the world to be.

In front of all their friends and 'new' lover, of course.

They were furious, and rightly so. Gortash must have known what he was doing. To isolate them, to bring them back to him. The person who accepted them for all they were, all they are, and all they could be - together.

It wasn't enough to win the Dark Urge back to him, and although they'd tentatively teamed up in the end - he had died. Not by the Urge's hand, but in some ways, his own. The group had left Gortash's body within the Prism, and simply moved on. There were bigger problems, and no one really was sad to see him go. Right?

The Urge remembers a letter found in Moonrise Towers. Gortash liked gadgets, according to Ketheric. Evidence was abundant enough with the Steel Watchers, among other things. The item is strangely shaped, entirely too small, and with a simple touch, comes to life.

It reminds them of the strange picture they had seen at the Iron Throne. Gortash's visage shone through a glass, moving, talking - warning them to leave. Answering them, praising them for listening.

What a strange contraption, they'd thought all those months ago.

And then, now, there he was again. A picture, in their hand. A moving picture. Speaking with his voice, wearing his weary face - so, so weary - but not the same as before.

This had passed already. The voice did not answer them this time. It was simply impossible - the man was dead, but not quite gone in this moment.

He speaks of the inauguration like it had just happened. His joy at seeing his favourite 'assassin' again, which he says with a sad smile and a moment of silence. A heavy sigh follows, rubbing at his eyes - which they can see are so much darker than they last remember.

He is tired.

Gortash speaks of their time together, before Orin - and how Orin torments him day and night now that they had both confirmed the Urge's return. She appears with their face, taunting him some days. Other days she sends assassins that wear the same, and he simply cannot let his guard down anymore. But he knew it was them that day.

They can see the exhaustion that pulls down his features, makes his words heavier. This is not the Archduke speaking to him in this moment - it is a tired, broken down man that has just seen a ghost.

Yet they cling to every word anyway, because even though this is a broken down man who is terrified of the ghost - the man still hopes the ghost will remember him, too.

They don't. But he doesn't know that, not this little picture of him, anyway.

The picture says that if they are seeing this recording, it means he is already dead - and although he had planned to sway them back to his side, he may not have been given the chance, and refuses to allow the opportunity to share what the two of them once had slip away.

He would gift unto them the memories that he could, even beyond death. The bloody ones, the happy ones, the painful ones.

And he talks, he smiles, he even cries.

And so do they.

[maegalkarven]

The fact that the only marriage bhaalists have is a ritualistic double-suicide on the altar of Bhaal makes the "Prayer for Forgiveness" very funny.

"Forgive me father for I can't help but admire Enver Gortash. Don't worry, I'm still planning to kill everyone in the world. In fact, I plan to keep Gortash for the last and kill him on your altar, and then - myself".

No wonder Bhaal told Orin to go stab her sibling in the brain, Durge essentially confessed in wanting to marry Gortash in bhaalist way in the same letter they were supposed to beg for Bhaal's forgiveness.

[flamemittens]

WIP Wednesday

Actually made it this time!

I was tagged by the lovely @littleplasticrat.

Thought I'd share a snippet that's part of a larger thing I'm working on - I like to imagine Gortash wrote a small handful of letters to my Durge after she went missing, but never sent them, just stashed them away in a locked box. This is the last one he wrote after deciding enough was enough.

Generally, I feel like he is someone who avoids being 'in his emotions' as much as possible (if at all), but he perhaps allows it for himself on the odd occasion.

Mori, I truly don’t know why I commit these words to paper still; you will never read them. You are not here anymore, and I find I am stuck on this loss. But, I will allow myself this final indulgence before I draw a line under it going forward. If I can. Oh, but I must. You questioned my interest in you, doubted its authenticity. A closeness borne only of lust you thought, of the desire to own, to control, to dominate—what did I truly want from you? Why did I persist? On that I must concede—I admired and wanted your body yes; but also your spirit, your brilliant mind, your hunger tempered by astonishing control, your unwavering dedication to a cause. In short: all of you. I recall the way you looked at me and pointedly addressed me by my given name for the first time, unprompted, seconds before we left for Mephistar. I think I knew for certain then, a tacit acknowledgement that cemented after we shared a bed for the first time on our triumphant return. It was not just adrenaline, dearest assassin. Neither were the times after. You will think me weak, of course. Insufferably mawkish. And you’d be right, in a way. Did you really not see her coming? Or did you simply not care, either so certain you could best her or perhaps even seeing it as an opportunity to vacate a wretched existence? You told me she wouldn’t be a problem, but there was a pervasive gnawing, an itch at the back of my mind that intimated otherwise, and, as I have the dubious privilege to now know, was proven correct in the end. The cold truth is that one must keep going, even when that which you value the most is wrenched from your grasp. So, I say it now before I come to my senses: I would rather have known you briefly and ultimately suffer the loss of you as I did, or perhaps die by your hand upon your Father’s altar at the end of the world—than have never known you at all. Enver

Once again no pressure tags for @sassyandsodone, @unreadpoppy, @timesthatneverwere, @sky-kiss and @inaconstantstateofchange.

[llamamamarisen92]

The Wolf and the Lion

Chapter 1 - A Wolf Snuck into the Lion’s Den

Chapter 2 Link:

https://www.tumblr.com/llamamamarisen92/760433510540541952/the-wolf-and-the-lion?source=share

Named Dark Urge

Pre-BG3 Dark Urge/Gortash Head Canon

Warning: Violence

Characters: Johim (Durge), Gortash, Orin, Sarovek

Word Count: 1,800ish

By: Jesh Llamas

Bored. He sat bored upon the throne of Bhaal. Long ago he had mastered his domain. Celebrated among those who thirsted for blood. Idols of the white dragon beginning to show up in homes of partriars who dabbled in cruelty and debauchery. For years he sat on this throne. Picking up the pieces of Sarovek's failure. Building something much more than a temple of murder. Growing an empire of his own designs in the name of his father. Divine blood flowing righteously through him.

Orin stood atop the altar chanting as wails of terror filled the ceremony hall. Hammers crashing down upon mighty drums. Building a cacophony of anguished horror in honor of Lord Bhaal. In honor of him. Johim Ba'elwyn, chief scion of the dread god. The last victim was stretched upon the stone slab. A high elven maiden who seemed no older than 40 years. Her eyes were beautiful. Hazel panic filled eyes danced in silent beseechment of him.

He stood up slowly, holding his hand in the air to stay Orin's blade. Unhurried as he walked down the dais stairs towards the terrified woman. A stalking lion making its way to a lamb tied to a spit. He stood above the woman now. Eyes softened as he placed a gentle hand on her cheek. For a moment the terror fled from her. Tears of relief flowing as he smiled gently down at her. He bent over brushing his lips against hers. An intimate lovers gesture. Little whimpers escaped her, body relaxing slightly. He chose that moment to dig his dagger deep into her heart. Watching her face as confusion and anguish were her last expressions. When the light in her eyes dimmed he thrust his bloodied fist into the air. Roaring as he transformed into the dread dragon's form. A trick he used to stir the worshipers into a zealous frenzy.

Orin was now kneeling on the ground bowing deeply. This was her role. Submission. His sister, the granddaughter of Sarovek showing obeisance to his rule. The graven crimson eyes of Bhaal flickering above him. A sign of pleasure from his divine father. He turned away from the crowd of worshipers. The echo of vile cheers followed him as he made his way to his private quarters. He made a few short commands to the sentries at his door. He did not wish to be disturbed for the rest of the evening.

Closing the door and turned back to his normal form. Handsome leonine features set upon sun-kissed skin. Thick red hair that fell like a river of blood down his shoulders and back. He had been alive for a thousand years, but he looked no older than thirty five. A benefit of being the spawn of a god he supposed. His beauty was a mark of his status as Bhaal's perfect scion.

Thankfully a basin had already been filled with water. He walked over to wash the blood off of his hands. Dully scanning the bowl as the blood washed off. How many times had he performed this ritual? It had become automatic. Hardly having to think about or calculate how proceedings would go. It was always the same. A fear stricken victim. A false sense of hope. And a crowd cheering at the illusion of a dragon.

When he was finished cleaning up he settled at his desk. A pile of letters filled with requests from various lords and ladies of the land. Desiring for support in this venture or that. Someone requesting to hire his assassin's blade. Another wishing for an intimidating presence. Some of them simply dinner invitations with the intention to keep in Bhaal's good graces. What better way to stay unmurdered than to appeal to Bhaal's charismatic and indomitable son.

Outside of the temple when he was representing Bhaal he was always the dragon. When he took over he had seen fit for the temple to present a more diplomatic face. To slither into the upper class and puppet the rulers of the land. It wasn't that hard. The good and great of the sword coast often debauched and thinly veiling their own personal evils.

Sifting through the letters until one of them finally caught his eye. It was sealed with the black mark of Bane. Raising his eyebrow in curiosity at the oil stained paper he unfolded it. Banites did not send appeals to Bhaal's temple. Their gods were similar and at times their objectives aligned. But their desire for the outcome of the world was very different. Their differences often landed in deadly quarrels between their respective cults.

His curiosity was peaked further a half smile curving his lips as he read the letter:

"Beautiful son of Bhaal." The letter was off to a good start. "How long will you sit upon your fathers throne. Growing stagnant in the shadow of your father's power. Surely one such as yourself craves more. I see the way you control the inner workings of your realm with an iron fist. But perhaps it is time to loosen your grip on the shadows and reach towards higher elevation. Not to simply sit contented as the son of a god, but to be in truth a god entirely of your own. Perhaps it is time to shed the dragon and instead become the lion."

His brow furrowed at that last line. Very few outside the temple were privy to his true form. And one did not simply step into the temple without very careful vetting. It served him well when he wanted to walk the city streets discreetly. Watching and listening for information from crowds of people that may prove useful. A salaciously whimsical smile masking the monster inside. Seducing his way into the beds of important men and women for a multitude of reasons all designed to further his kingdom.

The letter ended in a peculiar sign off.

"May we obtain absolute glory in the light of our own ambitions, Gortash."

Setting the letter down he puzzled out the words. The motives that may lay behind them. Getting up he walked towards a shelf of books on the gods of the realm. It was important to be studied on the entire pantheon and its histories. But Johim truly found pleasure in knowledge and was as devoted to his scholarly pursuits as he was to his brutal acts of worship. Constantly drinking up knowledge as if he was on the cusp of dying of thirst.

He selected a volume recounting phrases of power and declarations in the name of Bane. Searching for something within the text that matched up with the strange phrase. Banites were often ambitious, but the mechanical nature of their thinking often limited them. Frustration built as nothing jumped out at him as he flipped through the pages. He put down the book and sifted through his own knowledge for anything that may prove familiar.

A thought struck him and he walked back to the vast shelf of books. At the top was an old tome. It was a second hand recounting of the life and destruction of Karsus. The priceless book was given to him by a calamshite mage who enlisted him to personally slaughter a rival of his. Johim smiled a bit at the memory of Orin's rage when she found out her brother took on a contract for a book. Raging that it was beneath him to do anything for dingy worn out pages.

He flipped to a page near the end of the book reading the passage that came to his mind.

Karsus lay broken and bloody upon the floor of his own half constructed temple. Mortal once more, his life rapidly flitting out like a candle in the midst of a tempest. The failed child that would be a god grasped by the oppressive hand of Mephistopheles as he was dragged down into the depths of the hells.

He continued to read until he came to a final stanza on that same page. 

Karsus cried to the heavens in one final display of defiance, 'May I still obtain absolute glory in the light of mine own ambitions'.

It was famously the last words Karsus spoke before his kingdom and godhood was snuffed out. His artifacts were rumored to be kept in the volts of Mephistopheles himself. Karsus was an infamous figure in history. But not many outside a handful of powerful mages and perhaps clerics of Mystra were well read on the subject.

Suspicion filled him as he pondered how Gortash would not only know his true identity but also be keen enough to put in a reference to a rare passage about Karsus. But suspicion was also accompanied by a deep curiosity and the spark of a fire that had been simmering out at the monotony of his own success.

He sat back at his desk with the book in hand. Clearing a spot so that he may write a letter in response. He dipped a quill in ink and simply wrote:

"Ambition is what distinguishes between those who would remain mortal and those who would reach above the divine."

Another reference from the same book. He signed it, 'Your roaring lion'.

Eager to catch a glimpse of this Enver Gortash he donned a dark hooded robe as he walked through a door that led to a secret tunnel that connected to the docks of Baldur's gate. There was no address. Nothing to indicate where Gortash may be. No. But judging by the oil stains on the paper it was likely it came from the steel factory that sat next to the docks. He slipped into a dark corner waiting for any sign of the man that wrote to him. A group of artificers walked out of the factory gate. He perked up as one of them waved to a man in an ornate set of robes.

"Your ingenuity will cause you to outpace the Master Artificer in no time Gortash. Safe travels home."

Johim grinned as the young black haired man walked into the dark streets. Presumably to go home. Johim followed him quietly, keeping to the shadows. Gortash turned the corner onto a walkway that was lonely at this time of night. Taking the opportunity he quickly covered Gortash's mouth as he held his dagger to the man's back. Just enough pressure to warn him against calling for help.

"It seems a wolf has been playing in my den." He whispered softly into Gortash's ear. He sheathed his dagger and slid his response letter into one of Gortash's pockets. Before Gortash could respond or turn around, he slunk back into the shadows undetected.

Johim was all too ready to play whatever game this clever wolf was setting in front of him.

[melkyt]

Gortash after getting the news that Durge is dead doesnt quite believe it. How could someone so powerful, so competent be killed by the likes of Orin.

He does not believe it even if the next day Durge still does not show up, and their room is covered in blood and gore. Does not believe it even when Orin takes over the Bhaalist cult. Sure he takes all the necessary precautions to make sure Orin does not take his life but even then he holds out hope.

Hope, that word, he thought he would never think it again. Not after his childhood with Raphael, yet here it is.

He starts writing letters, first enquiring where durge is and why they have not returned yet. Then when no replies come, he starts putting his feelings onto the page. Things he never told anyone, codes them to be unreadable by anyone but durge, and sends them off to the memory of his dead love. It was nice to hope even for a while, but Gortash knows better, he was taught better. Hope is useless.

Then Durge wakes on the nautiloid, with no memory and they go about it as normal. That is until the butler finds them. Not that Bhaal or Bane would be keen on giving Durge messages of love and yet they do. Bhaal wants his chosen to remember and get back on track with the dead three's plans. If that means the spawn has the letters to hold on to then so be it.

Durge goes over every single one despite the headache that comes with every little slither of memory. They still do not remember but the neat hand that wrote the letters is familiar, and the code is much the same. It takes them days to be able to read the text but they do. Even longer to remember even a little bit about their past and the man they knew, the man they loved.

Gortash always hated the butler who followed Durge around, they whispered and distracted way too much for his liking. So he is cautious when the imp approaches him, only to not care when he notices familiar writing on the envelope. The butler explains what happened to his lord

With Gortash only half listening. He has not been sleeping and barely eating in his grief and just exhaustion from trying to keep their plans on track while Orin and her people torment him day and night. This letter is the last straw. He thinks it a trick, why after all this time would they answer? Not to mention amnesia? Gortash had his people scour the entire swordcost, someone would have recognized Durge.

This is just another lie. Yet it bothers him. The butler brings a letter every day until Gortash has a stack, but he can't get himself to read them. Just a trick he tells himself.

That is until Orin tells him that yes, her bloodkin is alive.

The emotion Gortash denied for so long cracks his careful walls. Him waiting until Orin is gone then scrambles for the stack of letters, tearing them open. Durge writes him off the journey, and how they are changing. How it's a whole new world and that they want to change and hopefully Grotash will join them.in this.

That's when he understands that the ever-loyal and murderous bhaalspawn that he knew, his durge is dead and this is someone else. The grief hits tenfold. He almost had everything back only for it to be taken away *again*. He burns the letters and crushes the last remnants of hope he allowed himself to feel.

Durge meanwhile is not about to be ignored, they will cut through Faerun and get back to this man who loved them enough to not let them go. And maybe they have not changed as much as Gortash thinks or the letters make it sound ;3

[asteriasfallingstarsandtears]

Not tagging this because I don't really want to contribute to the general discourse, but man, I am annoyed at the letter change. I've seen people be like oh but it looks better and fine, whatever, glad you do, but it doesn't change it takes away the nuance in a character that already has so fucking little in a game that he's supposed to be one of the three last antagonists of the game.

What was wrong with those letter beyond one single typo? Why did they need to change? Why could these new letters not be added in in addition to these existing letters.

Act 3 is a fucking disaster as is, Orin and Gortash get so little screen time, and what they do get, you can tell the actors are giving it their all. Besides that, we have a few scattered notes that give us backstory that are all optional and easily missed. If you don't go to the House of Hope and talk with the dwarf and find like one? Note, you don't find out that Gortash was sold to the Hells and was tortured daily. If you don't find his parents, you don't get the details of why he was sold and how his parents fucking despised him as a child.

Orin is likewise the same, you do have to face Sarevok to get the amulet to get into the Temple, but unless you go into his office, you won't learn before the Temple that Orin and Helena were victims of their father's abuse. If you don't use talk with the dead on Helena you miss out on a lot of how she gave everything to Sarevok and Bhaal only to be deemed as nothing more than a womb to be filled and a sacrifice to her God.

You have to find this note or talk with Helena to confront Orin and make her question what happened and force Bhaal's hand and see just how bad the abuse and trauma of Orin and by extension Durge and every Bhaalspawn mentioned in the game has undergone for Bhaal.

You have to undergo very specific actions in very specific orders to unlock memories for Durge and a number of notes just do not exist in the game if you are not playing the Durge, or are replaced by other notes that do not tell the story of Orin, Durge and the Temple of Bhaal.

Orin gets more attention given to her stuff than Gortash ever does. You cannot confront Gortash with your knowledge. There's hardly anything for you to do with him with the information you can gather.

So taking away from an already barebones character frankly (ha) sucks.

And before anyone tried to say something, no, this is not me excusing anyone's actions, they did what they did, they're all serial killers, slavers, and worse. Whatever, it's a game, they're very clearly Bad(tm), but they're also very interesting characters who have their stories squandered.

If you can't understand why this bothers someone, imagine your favourite character being rewritten for the worse post game and think about how much that would suck for your enjoyment of the character.

Might delete later, but wanted to express my feelings and thoughts on the matter.

[animentality]

I've wanted to do this for a while, but was held back by shyness for a while. (By a while, I mean I haven't even experienced Patch 6 yet. I *believe* this entire experience was in 5.)

I played Dark Urge as my first complete run of Baldur's Gate III, and it was beautiful in a way I don't feel is captured in the normal Tav playthrough, but I only intend to partially unpack that to keep things on topic for Durgetash.

From the very beginning, who you are and what you've lost *burns* as a question in your head. You meet the violation with rage and the promise of bloody consequences, but — it fades. You have people to care for, with varying degrees of suddenness, who understand you and the circumstances that may have shaped you.

And violence and potential death meets them at every turn. I, not the Durge, grew murderously protective of everyone in my party. Astarion. Karlach. Shadowheart.

I killed Alfira and never regretted it, save for wondering if the party would reject me for the barbarity of it all. The butler was delighted, and Astarion wore the reward for my first slip of control for the rest of the game.

If you can't tell, I was already thoroughly invested in feeling this story so much I purposely blurred the lines between myself and the Durge I had for the sake of acting as they would, fighting like I felt best suited them (they were a Storm Sorcery Sorcerer).

By Last Light, I wasn't fond of this unknown observer and their wants. I had no interest in killing Shadowheart, or the town of unknown innocents to "make up" for serving her in what I get in hindsight looked like —to Fel, Orin, and Bhaal alike — another unacceptable fit of perverse sentimentality.

Isabel still died, because I had taken on the fight not yet quite strong enough to save her. Dammon died, as well, and the party and I had to move on. Fel visited that night, and bestowed the form of the Slayer upon me. I was Murder Incarnate, he joyfully proclaimed, and I killed him in the hopes of removing him from my sight. From the camp.

There were letters in rooms I fumbled through in Moonrise, and Gortash started becoming relevant, both in those signatures and through Karlach's sharing of her history.

The vague negativity I felt towards this largely faceless, seemingly largely political threat shattered when infiltrating his palace on the day of the ascension to Archduke of Baldur's Gate turned into an occasion my Durge was *invited to*.

How was I? Did I remember? Would I like to rejoin forces? I can't imagine now how many questions were going through his head, seeing me alive and on my feet after all the time that had passed.

And where Ketheric had acted with rage when I inevitably betrayed him at the top and bottom of Moonrise Towers, or Orin had seethed that my Durge had dared to return and threaten every bit of goodwill she had painstakingly clawed together from the Bhaalists, Enver simply shrugged it off, offering me the first of two chances to ultimately just get their stones and return to rule together with him.

For Karlach's sake, I considered it impossible. I wasn't whoever had orchestrated the plan to enslave the brain.

Somewhere along the way during this campaign, I had seen your posts, but didn't really delve into them or read them too thoroughly since I was trying to not spoil myself by accident. Was that bit of fondness in the throne room that had stayed his hand it? I wasn't going to judge, by any means, because I've certainly shipped things ferociously for much less meaningful gestures, but I didn't understand why it would prompt the intensity with which you fawned over it.

And then I reached the underwater prison. I got lost in the sewers and somehow found the submarine, and the destination was where I had seen Wyll's father rumored to be kept. I had already made the pact with Mizora on his behalf, and didn't really expect to find more than his corpse in the prison after the bombs went off.

But more importantly — I finally understood, in the conversation with Gortash where he demanded I turn back, and looked incredibly unsurprised when I didn't. Somehow, despite my Durge tearing one of his most secure advantages from between his fingers and forcing him to dash it against the ground rather than risking it falling intact into their hands... he seemed *amused. Delighted.*

And so I set to proving myself, somehow wanting to find myself worthy of his approval of my strength, while also wanting to spite Mizora.

I got everybody out, and by happenstance, only Karlach died. His foil, I discovered in hindsight, since she is ready to leap into the House of Hope itself for my Durge the same way they did for Enver once upon a time.

Most of the remaining relevant crumbs dry out here, as Enver didn't even comment on the prison specifically regardless of the outcome for me.

But between "I always liked you better" and the warmth with which he says anything to you, the delight he shamelessly expresses when you simply are being the you that he knows, that is viciously carved into your bones so deeply it will always return no matter how you heal after being broken?

If you look at it as a story of breaking cycles, what Durgetash was should be objectively regarded as the hardest thing to lose in becoming a better person.

It's the intoxication of being known when you are amongst those that know nothing but the use you can offer them. The twisted fun that makes you question, again and again, whether you really *need* to be better than you were. The painful sorrow, of looking on someone you've grown past, and knowing you can't fit yourself in the spaces belonging to who you were then, even with how you still long for that aching, bloody warmth that their harmful presence would make you feel that you'll never forget.

I found myself happy I had had my Durge embrace the title of Murder Incarnate after the process of beating Orin and rejecting Bhaal.

All this to celebrate being able to play the game again after a long move, and that I'm looking forward to Patch 6, where I can hopefully be moved like that again. Made worse? Who knows.

What a delightful journey culminating into the descent into madness that is...Durgetash.

I'm glad you have seen this light...this dark....

You also got me with the line, "If you look at it as a story of breaking cycles, what Durgetash was should be objectively regarded as the hardest thing to lose in becoming a better person."

:D stab stab stab stab stab

[crossdressingdeath]

Helsik: I welcome thee to the Devil's Fee, where every hellish curio is a - Oh. It's you. Helsik: Your little scrote of a friend left this on my floor the last time you visited. Helsik: I presume you have returned to re-engage my services? Kyvir: Shit, this again. Remind me of our past association? Helsik: You... forgot what we did? I find that hard to believe. Helsik: But, if you speak truth, perhaps I could... jog that lazy memory of yours? Kyvir: Enlighten me. Helsik: You seek answers, Lord Mammon seeks coin. I will happily mediate - make me an offer. Karlach: Mammon! I knew it. I did! Kyvir: Growl. Helsik: Ah how cute. You tried that last time too. Helsik: You want answers, you pay. Just like everyone else. Mammon is nothing if not egalitarian. Kyvir: [PERSUASION] It's customary for any salesperson to offer a free sample. Helsik: The first hit's free, eh? My, you have changed. Fine. Just this once.

This is a fun conversation. I'd love to know how Sceleritas (I assume it was Sceleritas, it looks like his hat but I can't find it in my inventory so I can't check) ended up dropping his hat on the floor. I'd love to know what Sceleritas was doing there. What, was he playing chaperone? Making sure Gortash didn't do anything untoward to his precious master during their little foray into the Hells? ...Actually the idea of Sceleritas chaperoning Gortash and Durge is hilarious and I need to think more on it.

It's great how done Durge can be with the amnesia situation. They would love to stop running into people who know them. That'd be nice. Although really in this case they should've expected it given they got Helsik's name from the letters Gortash was keeping and those letters were between Gortash and them. Obviously they've met the diabolist Gortash was telling them about for their planned heist. Also, obsessed with how a) Durge can growl at Helsik for trying to charge them for information, b) she finds this cute and c) they've done it before. All I can imagine is Helsik charging Gortash to open a portal and Durge just popping up between them and growling at her like a good little guard dog only for Gortash to gently remind them that he's stupid rich and paying for her services is both fair and not a hardship. It's also fun that you can follow up literally growling at her with "Okay but maybe you could give me a little information for free?" and she just goes with it. Maybe she just thinks it's cute that they're trying to be polite?