#dune crack

[theredontbedragons]

BOOP

[ragsforless]

Dune crack!au (3)

Paul: Stilgar, have you seen my wife?

Stilgar: Which one, your grace?

Paul: My beloved-

Stilgar: Princess Irulan? She’s currently drunk and dancing with her books in the library.

Paul: No, not her! My favorite wife!

Stilgar: Oh! Your darling Feyd!

Paul: My darling who?

Stilgar: Your crazy but super gorgeous Harkonnen “wife” is currently baking cookies in the kitchen-

Paul: He’s not my “darling” and he’s not my favorite wife!

Stilgar: Are you sure?

Paul: No comment.

Stilgar: That’s what I’ve thought.

Paul: Ugh. I meant my beloved Chani. Where’s my Chani?

Stilgar: She’s with Feyd.

Paul: She’s baking evil Harkonnen cookies with my Feyd?!

Stilgar: Fortunately, Chani doesn’t know how to bake but that’s not the point-

Paul: Fortunately?! Is she trying to burn down the kitchen again?!

Stilgar: More like steal and eat Feyd-Rautha’s evil cookies again.

Paul: *sighs* Why are they even hanging out and getting along?

Stilgar: Don’t ask me. I’m just your faithful servant while those two are your crazy concubines.

Paul: And that’s the problem, Stilgar! I didn’t want another crazy concubine!

Stilgar: Well, it’s not my fault that you chose the last hottest Harkonnen to be your 2nd concubine.

Paul: I didn’t have a choice!

Stilgar: Are you sure?

Paul: No comment.

Stilgar: Chani did say that Feyd’s cookies are better than our spice-

Paul: Blasphemy!

Chani: *walks in without a care* No, it’s true. Feyd bakes the best galactic Giedi Prime cookies ever.

Stilgar: As written.

Chani: Want one?

Paul: I’m allergic.😑

[derp-atreides]

paul: may thy knife chip and shatter

feyd: huh?

/suddenly, his blade just,, detaches itself from the handle and falls onto the ground with a *cloink*/

feyd: ...fuck you! that was a birthday gift!

[derp-atreides]

Didn't go to the Na-Barons birthday bash. What's there to look at? A bald kinda pretty guy fighting people? I can look out of my window on a friday night and see the exact same happening right there, for free!

(also, whats with the black sludge being so liquid recently?)

[space-blue]

The eyes of eeeee bad!

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen and Gurney Halleck find themselves unlikely allies

[grechkathekasha]

on my knees 🏜️

[fatherless-stuff]

[triluvial]

Ok I have a lot of ideas that specifically relate to Geidi Prime having a toxic sun. But I am aware that canonically it's an 'infrared' sun. Infrared light is used in anti-ageing beauty treatments. Sun bathing there would literally make you look hotter.

[feyd-meowtha]

I like to headcanon that Geidi Prime is just super into birthdays. Like obviously Feyd has his big special birthday-boy moment but I choose to believe that everyone on that planet is walking round with a special hat and a badge when it's their birthday and having a great big party on their special day.

Like maybe Paul goes to stay and he doesn't mention that it's gonna be his birthday cus he doesn't think it's a big deal and Feyd finds out and is absolutely livid because he hasn't even planned a PARTY or got him a PRESENT.

🎈 🎂 ✨ Geidi Prime = Birthday Planet ✨ 🎂🎈

[butlers-bitch]

I wanna be a saxophone so bad rn

[yourhighness6]

Home for spring break and just watched Dune: Part Two with my dad and our conversation after the movie was so ridiculous it was like,

My dad: I don't think Paul actually did anything wrong though. Like the Fremen want to be free he's freeing them

Me, internally: Is this what being a straight white male does to your brain?

[collapseintonever]

frank iero in rock sound issue 310, september 2024 (bonus: two A4 posters). photos by mitchell wojcik

more magazine scans here

[ragsforless]

Dune crack!au (1)

Paul: May thy knife chip and shatter-

Feyd: *starts singing* 🎶In another life, I would be your girl🎶

Paul: What?

Feyd: 🎶We keep all our promises, be us against the world🎶

Paul: I’m so confused right now.

Irulan: And I’m recording this.

Feyd: 🎶In another life, I would make you stay🎶

Chani: NGL, he has a great voice.

Stilgar: True.

Irulan: *is still recording* You’re doing great, Feyd!

Paul: Shouldn’t we be fighting-

Chani: Shush, Paul! Let him finish.

Paul: But-

Feyd: 🎶So I don't have to say you were the one that got away, The one that got away🎶

Paul:. . .

Jessica:. . .

Feyd: So how’s my singing?😀

Chani: I approve! You’re going to be our concubine number 2!

Feyd: Nice.

Irulan: Oh, great. A new roommate.

Stilgar: As written.

Paul: What?!

Jessica: I did not see that coming.

Mohiam: I did.

[derp-atreides]

paul: may thy knife chip and shatter

feyd-rautha: oh. ahem... (why am i getting a boner NOW) may thy teeth chip and thy ass get fatter?

paul: WHAT THE-

chani: *just wheezing on the floor*

irulan: oh here we fuckin go again

[antigonenikk]

dune 2/no longer human-osamu dazai

[sand-realtor]