#incorrect dune quotes

[letsduneit]

the baron: if you're saying i play favorites, you're wrong. i love both of my nephews equally. the baron, earlier that day: i don't care for rabban.

[therealrichardpapen]

Dune plot explained badly:

Rich family moves to the desert while horny son is dreaming about the neighbour's daughter.

[elvencantation]

bene gesserit: we have made the kwisatz haderach

us: you fucked up a perfectly good twink. look at him. he’s got anxiety

[machinel1ke]

Paul: I've learned some valuable lessons from this Chani: I'm assuming they're all horrible distortions of the lessons you should've learned Paul: Death isn't real, and I'm basically God

[fangirling-tussisque-noncaelatur]

Paul: I'm going to take you out.

Feyd: Great, it's a date.

Paul: Harkonnen, I meant that as a threat.

Feyd: See you at seven.

(Insp.)

[derp-atreides]

Chani: make love not war

Feyd & Paul: *stop fighting, start making out in front of a bunch of fremen and other people*

Chani, Stilgar, Gurney etc: NOT IN THAT WAY!

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Chani: You're not ascending to godhood you're just dehydrated Paul: Outta my way gayboy I'm boutta liberate my divine self from this mortal shell Paul, one knife fight later: hopital

[starrypawz]

Chani: Paul, I'm m afraid you've gone mad with power

Paul: Of course I have, y'ever tried going mad without power? It's boring, no one listens to you

[guardianreadersofthegalaxy]

Paul: You know my middle name's actually Mitchell. I never thought much about it but suddenly it's so obvious... Chani: What is? Paul: Surely you see it? 'Mitchell'? or... 'Myth Child'! 'Paul the Child of Myth'. Like I'm the messiah Chani: Oh fuck off Paul: The Myth Child forgives you. [from That Mitchell & Webb Look]

[sugarplumfuckwit]

Duncan Idaho: You get to a certain rank in house Atreides and you just kinda assume that they’ve shoved a camera up your dink hole.

[letsduneit]

paul, late at night: hey chani would you love me if i was a worm chani, whose dad was an ecologist: well, worm brains don't always produce hormones to induce love. a better question would be whether or not you would love me if you were a worm. paul, who keeps having worrying visions of a worm-man hybrid: don't play with me right now please just answer the question-

[eastern-lights]

Jessica: Do you want some coffee? Leto: No, thanks, starting today, I am giving it up. Jessica: Are you sure? Coffee is your only source of water. Leto: I'm sure. *5 minutes later* Leto:... Leto: Take a sip of your coffee and kiss me.

[elvencantation]

Chani: I-

Paul: when it comes to this relationship, there is no 'I', only 'we'

Chani: okay, 'we' are bisexual

Paul: damn right we are

[sand-realtor]

[fangirling-tussisque-noncaelatur]

Feyd: I'm gay, Atreides.

Paul: Sorry, was the way you looked at me supposed to be straight?

(x)

[derp-atreides]

paul: may thy knife chip and shatter

feyd: huh?

/suddenly, his blade just,, detaches itself from the handle and falls onto the ground with a *cloink*/

feyd: ...fuck you! that was a birthday gift!