#dude talks about equality but looks down (literally) on his brother

[maomango-doodle]

A totally normal talk between siblings

[holycrimin]

Is It Casual Now?

12!Donnie x Reader

(Friends-to-Pining-Idiots)

AN: wrote this on a whim bc I'm bored and am procrastinating. and also because we don't get enough friends-to-lovers fics lmao (also might make a sequel?). also might be ooc? idk

warnings(?): not alot, mild cussing?, might be a little ooc, mention of apritello but only brief,

_______________

It was a warm summer night...

Actually, who were you kidding? It was freezing. Okay, wait, maybe a bit of an exaggeration. It was still cold though, you stand by that.

"Want me to lower the AC? You look like you're dying."

"hrnn... But what about your experiment-thingy-thing? Wouldn't that like... affect it or something? Or was that the other one?" You ask, sniffling. Oh yeah, did you mention you were sick? Because you're sick. Sick as hell! Haha! haha...

No but seriously, you felt like you were dying. You bet it's not even that cold.

"Nah, don't worry that was the other one. It's in the freezer."

"Aw dude, Mikey might eat it or something."

"No he won't, there're like, a million warning stickers on that thing, he wouldn't—" You gave him a look,

"Crap." He ran out of his lab and went straight to the freezer.

Wait a minute, why were you here again?

Oh yeah, the project. And to hang out with Donnie, sure that too.

He came back with his experiment-thingy clutched in his arms. You sniff, "Dude—" "—Gross,"

"Shut up, anyway,"

"Why didn't you put it in your freezer? You literally have one right there." You pointed at the small metal box (that you're pretty sure he built himself) next to his desk.

"Because there's ice cream in there, and I don't want to share with my brothers."

"So what's your plan now?"

"What?"

"Should we like.. eat some of the ice cream to make room for your weird jelly-thing, orr..."

"Well I didn't think that far, sure, why not." He places the container down on his desk and takes out a small tub of vanilla ice cream.

"Ew, vanilla? that's so... Vanilla." You smile,

"Excuse you, that's for me. This, is for you." He says, taking out an equally sized tub of cookies and cream.

"Bro that vanilla has nuts in it, you like your ice cream with nuts? Ew."

"Oh nevermind, guess this is going back in the freezer," He takes the tub of cookies and cream ice cream and tries to put it back in his freezer.

"Wait, hold on, your honor I'm innocent!"

He chuckles, you smile.

"Shut up, dork, take the ice cream."

"Speak for yourse— Oh, oops, nevermind I forgot you had full control of my ice cream privileges."

"Mhm, yeah, that's what I thought."

He hands you a spoon and you notice a little red button at the bottom of it.

"What's this for?"

"For heating up the spoon so that we wouldn't have to wait like, half an hour to eat the icecream."

"God, that's such a good idea, you're a genius."

"Yeah, I know right?"

The two of you laugh as you both open your tubs of ice cream. Well, it was more of an attempt in your part. You eventually got Donnie to open it for you.

"Oh wait, my project... Whatever, it's the weekend, I'll do it tomorrow."

"And that's why you end up pulling all-nighters and get all grumpy on us when we talk to you on schooldays."

"Shh... SShhhut up. Eat your ice cream."

He chuckles.

It's quiet.

"Soo... How're things with April?"

And that is definitely not the way to start a conversation.

"Eh.. You know. The same it always is."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

And back to quiet. It's nice, but you wish it wasn't so awkward.

"..I should've given you soup instead. Giving you ice cream was a bad choice on my part." He stand up to take the ice cream (which was already a quarter finished, by the way) from you.

"Aww, come on Don. I can have the— ha..." You sneeze, "..have the soup later. After ice cream."

He snorts, "Come on," he gently puts the back of his hand on your throat, then your forehead.

"Oh damn, I did that as a joke, but you're seriously burning up. Yeah, no, I'm getting you soup."

You let out a whine of defeat as the tub of ice cream gets taken away from you, and hey, was it this cold before?

"I'll get you a blanket too. Why'd you even come here anyway?" He smiles a little, "And don't say that you needed help with your schoolwork. We already covered that like, a week ago? Get some rest, man." Before he leaves, he puts the experiment-jelly-thingamabob in the freezer.

"'Kay."

Why were you here?

Easy, you liked hanging out with him.

Why?

Because.

..Because?

Because he's fun to be around?

Might need to think deeper than that.

Who are you, my therapist?

You're literally talking to yourself.

Whatever. Because... I don't know, he makes me.. happy? that sounds weird.

Yeah. Keep going anyway.

This self analysis thing is getting weird.

And he's back. You smile.

"I got some hot chocolate too. Had to be quiet though." He covers the both of you with the blanket, and hands you the soup.

"Damn, you're cold too?"

"Yeah duh, turtles are cold-blooded."

"So you've said."

He leans back,

"You gonna finish your little experiment here?"

"Maybe. I'm tired."

"What time is it?"

"Uhh.." He checks his t-phone, "1:10 AM."

"Whatt... You're telling me I've been here for six hours?" It's fine, your parents were out of town. You liked it better here anyway.

"Also, I really don't think you should get that close to me dude. I'm, in your words, 'seriously burning up'."

"Ughh.. but you're warm. And I don't wanna get up." He dramatically lays his head on your shoulder, fake-snuggling up to you.

He gets a laugh out of you, he grins.

"I'm tired."

"Yeah, me too." Donnie yawns, pressing a button on his remote. Suddenly, the lights started to dim.

You let out a breathless chuckle, "When'd you install that?"

"A couple weeks ago. You said you didn't like how bright the lights were. So I made this remote to dim the lights, then I got distracted and made more options, then turned it into a slider... then just... booshhh... yeah."

"You remembered that?"

"Of course."

That's actually pretty sweet.

You smile at him. "Yeah?"

"Mhm. I'm gunna.... sleep. G'night."

"G'night."

And like that, he was out like a light. You just realized how close he was to you.

He's next to you, head basically on the crook of your neck. Both of you sharing the same thick blanket, with the empty bowl of soup that you didn't realize you had finished, and the half empty cup of hot chocolate.

And now, you start thinking to yourself,

Is there more to this?

No, you're just friends. Right?

But that tiny voice in your head that's getting increasingly bigger as the minute passes, is asking you:

Do friends do this for eachother?

Yes.

Are you sure?

What else could it be? What else could we be?

Do friends go out of their way to show up to your school in a disguise while it was pouring out to take you home?

He's just like that. He's nice, he's caring.

Do friends install fancy advanced remote-controlled lights just for you because you mentioned once how the lights were overwhelming?

..He's my friend. I'd do the same for him. Well, If I had the smarts.

But the difference is that you know how you feel.

Well.. Yeah.

Do friends leave lingering touches?

...

..Didn't he say he had a heater in here?

[quitealotofsodapop]

So if Wukong didn't know MK was playing superhero, why was he able to be caught by Spider Queen? The answer is clear. He took the younger cubs down to see the parade. That way, he could be closer to the fireworks, and his kids are entertained. He ended up being caught up in the initial attack and discovered MK playing hero while trying to evacuate the cubs away from the angry spider lady trying to turn people into spider zombies.

Wukong is not happy, but at this point there are far more important things to deal with. He orders MK to get his siblings somewhere safe while he handles Spider Queen. When MK protests, he tells him that MK's arachnophobia would only get in the way, and he is still Sun Wukong, the gods be damned Great Sage Equal To Heaven and the Monkey King. He isn't so far into his retirement that he can't put an upstart little princess in her place.

The plan backfires and Wukong gets captured by LBD and Spider Queen, of course, but hey, the Noodle Crew gets to meet MK's siblings! Sandy babysits them while they're in Heaven trying to get the stuff. All they know of it is that MK's mom was caught by the Spider Queen, they don't know yet exactly who his parent is. Not until much later when Wukong and DBK break out of their bonds and save them.

"Holy shit, is that Sun Wukong!?" ;Probably Tang

"Mom!" :MK

"MOM!?" :Literally eveyone

After all is said and dine Wukong makes good on his promise of a long talk, or rather lecture, and MK is grounded.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD BE SO RECKLESS! Xiaotian, your father an I taught you better than this! What were you thinking!?"

"But when you were my age you were at war with Heaven, though!"

"And look what that got me! Thrown in a furnace and pinned under a mountain for 500 years! What you did was stupid and reckless. What if you'd gotten hurt!? Your still mortal, MK!"

Referencing.

Yesss. Wukong canonically adores New Years, and I def agree that love extends to the cubs too.

Wukong does a "surprise" visit to Megapolis to show the younger cubs the New Years Parade + check up on his eldest while MK is helping Pigsy with the foodtruck. Likely all in glamours, but MK 100% gets an embarassing visit from his mom at work. The Noodle shop gang tease him endlessly about it.

Then cue the Spider Queen's invasion, and Wukong giving MK the cubs to watch for the moment while he Kings Up. MK doesn't want his mom to go in his condition, but Wukong is still The Monkey King, and has no idea that his son has been superhero-ing for the past couple of months.

The gang all meet up on Sandy's airship, and the kiddos glamours all drop from stress. This is where the gang confirms (they had suspiscions) that MK is a disguised demon - they dont mind since thats sadly common in human-dominated cities. MK specifically being a monkey demon gets Tang asking questions though.

Red Son shows up and has a brain-fart mid-plan when he recognises who "Noodle Boy" actually is;

Red Son: "Xiaotian!? I haven't seen you since we were calves! This explains so much!" MK, nervous sweating: "Not now dude! My mom got captured by the Spider Queen, and my dad is MIA right now." Red Son: "Ah but of course. Seems we have the same predicament then. No fear, I have a plan to defeat the Spider Queen and save our respective parents." Tang, panic-nerding: "MK, how do you know Red Son!?" MK, flash of SWK-esque anger: "NOT NOW."

The gang get to the Celestial Realm and retrieve what they need to make the antidote - though not without attracting the attention of a certain hound that just realised her fave monkey is here.

MK, petting the dog: "I'm sorry Quan. I can't play right now! I'm saving the city." Xiaotian Quan: (*sad whine!*)

Meanwhile at the Spider Mech; DBK has finally met his little brother/enemy once again. DBK in his anger, yells about Sun Wukong's "little-thief successor MK" ruining so many of his family's attempts at gaining power, and Wukong just blanks;

Wukong, scary parent voice: "Xiaotian has been doing what!?" DBK: "The Little Thief is Xiaotian!?"

DBK would also shout at Wukong for putting himself in danger in his condition, but quiets when he learns that Macaque is missing. Tieshan had seemed worried since DBK got back (infact, maybe its why she decided to free him), and everyone knows that the shadow monkey wouldn't leave his mate without reason. When LBD arrives, DBK and Wukong immediate get a chill up their spines. They both know that she's somehow involved with Mac's disappearance... DBK has his super-saiyan moment of worried-anger and frees both himself and his xiandi so that they can find their reckless kids.

The Noodle Shop gang (+ Red Son and the cubs) bust on through with the spider-venom antidote and manage to subdue the Spider Queen with their combined forces.

Tang is about to fanboy at the sight of Sun Wukong in the flesh when MK and the cubs yell something that shatters his preconceptions.

MK & the cubs: "Mom!" "Mama!" Noodle Shop Gang: "MOM?!?" Wukong, swarmed by baby monkeys: "Thank Nuwa you're all ok!" (*hugs them all tight*) Wukong: (*suddenly bonks MK on head with a sandal*) Wukong: "And you! How dare you not tell me that you've been fighting demons this whole time! You told me you were only getting a job for mortal experience!" MK: "But mom! I did get a job! I've been using my spare time trying to figure out what happened to dad!" Wukong: "Which I specifically told you Not to do!! Your father has gotten himself tangled up with a very dangerous witch and I'm not letting you run into one of her traps!" Noddle Shop Gang + DB fam: (*standing at a safe distance from the yelling*) Tang, dizzy with excitement: "Anyone else feel like they're in a fantasy right now?" Mei: "Hm, not really. I knew Xiaotian since we were pups. My grunkle Ao Lie is the same dragon-horse from the stories." Tang: "Excuse me!?"

Erlang shows up on Earth asking Wukong tf just happened - his third eye showed him the chaos in the Celestial Realm and Lao Tzu is pissed for his missing pills and Furnace. But he immediately leaves when he sees tje carnage of a saved mortal city + Sun Wukong. (Erlang: "Ah. Say no more.")

[thesharktanksdriver]

Doflamingo's no good very bad day in Dressrosa is probably even worse in Determination because imagine being him.

Your childhood best friend who you've been searching for for years is there. you're doing your best to bring them back to your palace for their "safety" (delusional thinking) and then suddenly each and every one of your plans, which have been meticulously prepared for years, are being undone but you STILL believe you can solve this and everything's fine but it keeps getting worse and worse. you've been planning this for YEARS and yet some idiot in flip flops and his band of lunatics, along with your adoptive nephew, just keep fucking up your plans you are trying to maintain composure and then your precious childhood friend is in kahoots with the idiot in flip flops, probably held hostage and being forced into doing this (even more delusional thinking) you're basically racing against your nephew and the lunatics to find them before it's too late (level of delusion off the charts with this), and you can do nothing as they work with that idiot's crew to BRING YOU DOWN. then you put the birdcage plan into motion but on the inside you are losing it because you have ZERO idea if your precious friend is safe because they would certainly die and you can't lose them again after you're THIS close to finally having them back with you after all these years and then YOU LOSE to the idiot in flip flops and fumble everything and get thrown in prison.

honestly after the fumble of the century (In front of the most precious person in the world to him no less!) I'm surprised he still has any pride left in him

Dressrosa truly is Doffy getting clowned on in the most spectacular way possible lol.

Y/n does make it better and just makes it worse

Doflamingo thinks while the situation is going a bit haywire he at least gets the chance to get his friend back. At least he gets the one thing he’s been looking for and they’re also making things difficult.

Dude is doing mental loops trying to justify why y/n is afraid of him.

Why they fucking bolt away and fight the strings that he uses to quite literally drag them back.

Why they joined a fucking crack head idiot in flip flops and his equally insane crew instead of joining him and being treated like royalty

Why they side with Law.

He is literally going off the deep end he was already in and instead sinking down to the Mariana’s trench.

He gets really fucked up though, quite literally reasoning to himself that y/n would forgive him like a good friend would even if he murdered their friends and possibly harmed them

But it’s fine cause they’ll forgive him once he pampers them after Dressrosa is annihilated

Plus it’s a bit of retribution for leaving him all those years

For running

For siding with his good for nothing traitor of a brother and that little shit law

Speaking of which the whole thing of laws devil fruit possibly making someone immortal is something he reallly wants for himself especially since he’ll be forever besties with y/n. Plus they’ve always talked about how lonely they were right? (even though they could have always gone back to him who’d make sure their never alone) if he becomes immortal then they won’t have to deal with that again

Sure they may take awhile to come around to him once more but Doffy will have all the literal time in the world for that to happen

Eventually he’ll have someone who won’t leave him

Betray him

Leave him in the dust to rot

With them he’ll somewhat forgive it since they sacrificed themself for him and his brother

But what’s unforgivable is that they didn’t come back nor did he give them permission to just leave his life

What’s kinda sad about this entire thing though is that despite it all y/n still can’t help but blame themselves for how he turned out even if it’s all of Doffy’s own choices and actions.

Blames themself when seeing the utter destruction he’s done to Dressrosa and its people. The destruction he wanted to commit with the birdcage.

It’s why in the end as he lays defeated they give him at least the solace of them at his side.

[theoryofarson]

10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

I don't even need to be tagged to be horny. Let's go!

In no particular order:

Third (Theory of Love)

He's so pathetic! He cries so much! He's so rude and mean and bitchy! His shirts are so big and his shorts are so small!

In conclusion, I would treat him right - the way Khai does NOT.

Nick (Only Friends)

Speaking of PATHETIC!!!! THAT'S MY TOXIC BABYGIRL! MY CANCELLED BOYGIRLWIFESBAND! Sand really wasted an opportunity in that van. It should have been me...

Pa (Bad Buddy)

You know who's taller than you, Pa?? Me!!! The thought of being the one to make her flustered...pick her up and brush her hair back...dear lord.

Ok this list is really starting to look like I want to be the one doing all the manhandling. I promise you I am also down to be handled. Let's switch it up a bit.

Porsche (KinnPorsche)

Listen. You know I LOVE VegasPete as a ship.

But if we're talking about who *I* desire - first of all, your bitch is NOT prepared for the kinkery VegasPete get up to. Second of all, I genuinely think Apo Nattawin is one of the most objectively attractive men on this planet. Add to that Porsche's layered dip of a personality (fidgety jokester, devoted big brother, practiced fighter, willing killer, dutiful guard dog...), and I am quite sold. Give me the problematic mafia sex.

Hyeong Da Un (Blueming)

Dude. I barely even remember this show. I had to look up the character's name. But he's BAD. And he always had like...this teasing superiority toward the main character? Like he knew they would end up together and was just waiting for MC to catch up to that realization? Yeah. That...that's hot.

Ueda Minoru (Our Dining Table)

I believe this man was crafted in a lab to be as attractive to me, specifically, as possible. He looks like a bit of a delinquent, but he's a sweet and dedicated family man. He is troubled by the notion that he'll never be good enough. He's in love and afraid to say it. He's a bleach blonde with earrings and a bump in his nose and an Adam's apple that makes me want to follow the footsteps of Eve in the garden.

Mhok (Last Twilight)

Lord, there is not enough time in the world for me to say all I want to say about this man.

I just want it to be stated, on the record, that I have been well aware of Jimmy's attractiveness since Bad Buddy days. Unlike others, I never let Wai's horrendous personality distract me from his absurdly hot face, which, at the end of the day, is the important thing.

And now that we have Mhok? Literally the perfect character - rugged yet tender, clueless yet hypercompetent, jealous yet selfless - full of desire and restraint and humour and sadness in equal measure - I genuinely cannot think of what else I would ask for.

And did I mention his hot face?

Finally, to round out the list, a special triple whammy:

Neo, Miw, and Shin (3 Will Be Free)

Yes, all three. At once? Separately? I don't give a shit. For all I care, it could be me in this trunk and them looking down at me in disdain. That'd keep me going for like, a year. Just let me be in the orbit of these three ridiculously hot people and their ridiculously hot dynamic. Joss, Mild, Tay: if any subset of you is ever free, at any time at all, I am also free. At that time. Forever.

Whew!

That was really fun. Tagging: Whoever wants to do it!!!! Go. Be horny. Be free.

[demigods-posts]

headcanon that percy and annabeth are both equally infatuated with the HSM franchise: PJO version

• the obsession started after the sea of monsters when annabeth stayed over at percy's apartment and they argued over which movie to watch

• eventually, they decided on watching HSM together since neither of them had seen it and they ended up loving it

• at karaoke nights at camp half-blood, they often sang Troy/Gabriella duets (The Start of Something New, What I've Been Looking For, Breaking Free)

• admittedly, they sounded terrible, but singing is so much easier and less embarrassing when they do it together, so neither one of them cared

• the implications of their duet were completely lost on them, but it was one of the main reasons the camp ships them

• after The Titan's curse takes place, annabeth continues the tradition of staying over percy's apartment (also because they missed each other since she got kidnapped) and watched HSM 2 and they both fell even more in love with the franchise

• the morning of percy's fourteenth birthday, he and annabeth baked cookies in the kitchen while blasting 'Work This Out' so loud that the neighbors complained

• sally found the loud music annoying too at first but completely forgot about it when she watched percy and annabeth sing 'You Are the Music in Me' while throwing flour at each other, obviously falling for each other

• percy and annabeth completely shut down the idea of them dating when sally not-so-subtly teases them about it, but sally wasn't fooled

• throughout percy's and annabeth's eighth grade year, they frequently email each other (they know demigods and electronics are a bad idea but they don't care when it comes to each other) and constantly sign-off their emails with quotes or song lyrics to hilariously describe their current mood

• "dude, my brothers literally came into my room and spilled water all over my plans for the camp's next prom night. come fix it." - wisegirl12, how did we get from the top of the world to the bottom of the heap?

• "no." - seaweedbrain18, i gotta go my own way

• the year HSM 3 came out, percy and annabeth weren't on good terms and didn't speak to each other unless it was about preparing for the upcoming war

• still, they refused to watch HSM 3 without the other

• after the battle of the labyrinth (more importantly, after their kiss), percy iris messages annabeth and apologizes for how distant he's been and admits he been avoiding everyone and everything related to being a demigod because he's scared that he'll die before he'll graduate

• annabeth apologizes for being so rude to him and admits that's she's just scared she'll lose him and is shitty at expressing her emotions

• the two continue to talk about anything and everything and eventually get to the topic of HSM 3

• they admit to each other that they hadn't seen it since it came out, so they make a pact: if they both survive the war, annabeth has to come over and watch the movie with him

• later that week, percy secretly purchases the DVD for the movie and promises to not open it until then

• as we know, the two survive the war and finally get together on percy's birthday

• as sally comes to pick the two up from camp, they run to the car hand-in-hand and sally immediately figures it out and is so happy for them

• sally spends almost the entire car ride to the apartment enforcing the 'door open at all times rule', much to the couple's embarrassment

• later that night when annabeth stays over, she and percy cuddle on the couch and talk and then annabeth reminds him of the pact they made

• percy leaps out of his seat and grabs the DVD, much to annabeth's surprise, and the two cuddle and watch the movie together

• from that point forward, whenever they email each other, percy signs off his email as "seaweedbrain18, troy bolton"

• annabeth thinks it's incredibly corny, but signs off her emails as "wisegirl12, gabriella montez"

I was listening to the soundtrack for HSM 2 and got this headcanon idea. Add to it if you want :)

[gigigazelleloves]

Puzzle House Review

I was able to get my hands on a copy of the new Dragon Prince graphic novel so I wanted to come on here and give you my point form review of the book.

Warning! ⚠️ Spoilers underneath!

-Claudia really needs to fucking chill with the magic. Like girlfriend why are you doing it randomly around the house.

-Whoever was supervising Claudia, your mom's a hoe.

-Pregnant Sarai is so cute.

-It took me way too long to realize that it wasn't King Harrow on the throne, I'm talking it took 3 reads.

-Also, where is Harrow?

-That throne look hella uncomfortable. Like no cushion?

-Not Viren knowing exactly where his mentor is but still looking for him. I am curious to know what went wrong between him and his mentor and what led to his mentor being caught in a coin.

-It kind of feel bad for Viren cause I know that almost losing a child and divorce is not easy, especially within six months of each other.

-Also I wanna see a picture of Virens wife.

-Callum as a kid was so cute. He totally always had a crush on Claudia.

-Soren and Claudia's relationship has always been cute.

-On a different note these guards need to be fucking fired cause why can't you do your job? It is not that hard buddy.

-Most of the book is them just commiting laws to be honest.

-Not Soren almost falling to his death OVER A STATUE. In all fairness the same would probably happen to me.

-The giant didn't look that scary out of all honesty.

-My favourite part of the book was Callum talking about his father's death. I had to put the book down two times just to prevent myself from crying. Knowing that he loses his mother less than a year later makes me realise why he is so distant towards his step father. The fact he also understands that knowledge so young, it just hurts me.

-The giant and Claudia reaction is so good and also one of my other favourite moments.

-After my empathy for Claudia died after season 5 this novel made me regain if after seeing what Claudia went through l. Blaming herself for her parents divorce and then trying to fix it? Like I won't lie, that's heartbreaking, and so real because this happens to so many kids.

-Also now it is CANON that Viren:s wife left him because of his sake magic use, but in defense the dude saved his kid but also I understand where his wife is coming from. One time is enough to equal a one hundred times if it is dangerous enough.

-Soren also did the most big brother thing by saying he wasn't going back and basically telling Claudia to go on her own.

-I did not like the interaction between Claudia and Viren at all. The way he treated her in the begging to come and give his child a half assed apology and a coping mechanism is crazy. No wonder why Claudia is so messed up. Her dad literally encouraged her to use dark magic for so long. And it is proven that dark magic catches on easily to people.

-Also, in my personal opinion, K'parrs gift to Claudia was low key lame but hey, maybe that's not the real gift...

Overall not to bad but could have been better in a sense. Would have loved to see more of Soren.

I'd give it a solid 6.5 out of 10

[mikasuxxx]

MW2 Random Headcanons part 2

this one includes graves and price

Graves

this man is definitely floridian

like he was a beach boy, like he has old pictures from when he was a teen with a tan

He's southern, and so is his family

They're the epitome of white people, but they're actually pretty nice people

like if you're Graves' girl spending the holidays at his family's place they'll beg you to eat with them and say its no trouble

Truly the southern hospital is strong with his family

He used to go miami and pick up girls from the club, and just have one night stands with them.

He has an older brother who's a professional poker player/gambler

and you can tell because of the big gold chain and the tommy bahama shirts and loafers he always wears (even when its cold he'll still wear them)

He also lives in vegas

He tries to flirt with you but Phillip shuts that down real quick

Phillip used to play baseball in high school, and his girlfriend at the time loved watching him play (but really she just liked how his ass looked in his uniform pants)

His brother played football for a bit

Surprisingly, Phillip was at the top of his class in high school. And he got a car for his graduation gift. a red 1967 chevy impala

that car was his pride and joy

You cant tell me that he wasnt a frat boy in college

Constantly picks up sorority girls in his car, and invites them to his dorm to fuck

Even girls who weren't sororities; atheltes, shy girls, even his professors (but that was when he was like a junior and senior, and he did it because his grades sucked and he was desperate)

What makes him different from other frat boys, is that he takes no for an answer. like hes flirting with you and and you say no he'll back off, no questions asked

He still has friends from college

Okay now to the sad shit: he constantly gets compared to his older brother. mostly by his dad (his mom is a sweetheart and loves both of her sons equally)

His older brother wasnt good at school, was an alcoholic, dropped out of college, the only thing that makes him better in their father's eyes is that he played football, and he's found a way to become rich

Phillip was good at school and sports, won prom king, went to college, had a degree and a decent job and yet that still wasnt enough to please his dad

His dad is...an old fashioned dude. like if phillip has a daughter and he sees him playing with her, he'll call him a pussy

Or even if he has a son and he even so much as hugs him, his dad will also bicker and bitch about him "acting like a mom"

Phillip still goes to family events but avoids talking to his dad as much as possible, or if he's forced too he'll just try to end the conversation

His uncles are alright, somehow. Like they're funny, but not in a misogynistic way. they're still kinda ignorant in their own way tho

His mom is a very good cook. like she actually uses seasoning and stuff (and of course his dad bitches and whines about it)

She wanted a third kid because she was hoping for a daughter, but the dad said he didnt wanna push their luck because he didnt want a girl, so they just stopped at 2 kids

Price

Jokingly calls Gaz his son. gaz is happy about it honestly

He loves kids. like when he had kids he was literally the happiest man alive

Yes, this man is a certified dilf

He has twin girls, both of which he loves to death and will die for them

He's always been able to tell whos who. Hes learned every detail about each one of them

Sometimes they try to gaslight him by switching identities but hes way too smart for that

Twin 1(pretending to be twin 2): "hey dad, can i have some candy?"

"You're [Twin 1], youve already had a ton of candy today"

Twin 1: "..no im [Twin 2] and i havent eaten any candy today"

"You're not fooling me [Twin 1]"

Twin 1: "damn..."

Has a small silver heart locket with their picture in it. he wears it all the time under his uniform

After missions he'll bring them gifts when he comes back from wherever said mission took place

One of them is really jealous and fussy, the other is chill and cuddly

like when they were babies/toddlers she'll screech if she sees Price giving her sister even an inkling of attention

when they were babies, sometimes price would be found on the ground in the living room sleeping with his daughters sleeping in his arms

as babies they would always tug at his mustache

would both freak out if he even so much as trimmed it

[80-ursa-major]

-caro already had an established bond with elta and selphira to a lesser extent. You can even give the orchestra more screentime or hell add Sarah but no we need a completely new girl that has a bigget bond with caro, that has the entire event revolve around her and get an ssr. only silver lining is caro finally woke up and was playable. and of course i rolled her twice and wasted too much to get to caro.

-yuni, cosmos and everything about their parts in the event was trash and there was literally only one person who cared about the latter. so naturally instead of baldr or at least madl&kona they randomly have noa casually bring her back. seriously what??? do they even read their story

-remember when perci was the most popular guy and they forgot he existed and tthen brought him back but he forgot he ever liked you and then his brother got the valentines and he gives you rings in wd and seasonals and then they gave him a duo with his boytoy lmao 

-wonder how they’ll top the male swimsuit they drip feed us when last year had the other relatively popular guy finally get his and he still prefers the D(og) to D(anchou). 

-they know gw is terrible but they’ll balme players and only fix it by making female bosses show their asscrack and shove phallic objects in their tits

--absolutely nothing more disgusting that pedos who will spend every breath defending new lily or yaia because muh drawings as if they’re alien beings and not drawn because you know what real children look like and if the however dimensional version of that draws all the blood down you’re useless trash man, can’t even be recycled.

-who the fuck is icarus and ameliass and just fucking finish releasing characters from this game first

- baal-kun and nataku-san are very cool dudes and primals pals is a fun group they deserved equally great fire units to the girls so they could actually be used together

~still can’t believe san-chan got a valentines and his new postman outfit was only used in a silent montage where he went shopping and then him and bea kept cooking/brewing until cassius gave them a 5/5 review. i mean it’s good there was no luci and Cassius is literally my everything but objectively speaking it wasn’t right. 

+i still can’t believe they finally remembered pholia exists and is perfect. now remove her sister and we can talk

[dangermousie]

S2 ep 4

I love s2!

1. Marcos and Paula continue to break me. He is such an amazing, unstintingly loving brother to her - the way he reacts to her comment that she is forgetting what their home looked like, the way he is talking about the fact that they won’t go home for the holidays. Paula finishes the show a safe, happy, well-adjusted and loved little girl and it’s all due to how Marcos was with her, how he managed to shelter her through hell. He is damaged for good at the end of the show but she is not solely because of his care and just - he is the best big sibling ever.

2. I hated this teacher. (Rightly so, murderer, statutory rapist, sadist etc.) Honestly, except for 3 teachers, every teacher in that hellhole ranged from neglectful and evil to genuine psychopath. Also, I found it pretty telling he honed in on Ivan - I swear the guy was a psychopath magnet, probably because the combo of vulnerability and cussedness drew them in (the fact that a literal adult in position of authority is “competing” with an underage student and enjoys putting him down sums up everything that is wrong with the man. Abusers are gonna abuse.)

3. Elsa, Elsa, Elsa. At the end, she finally learned to put students in her care first but not here. She lets Julia go off with her stepdad because Julia was blackmailing her; learns stepdad was sleeping with Julia and her reaction to Hector is “at least he wasn’t beating her” (!!!) (to which Hector, the only one with moral sense, replies “no he was just grooming her instead”) and when Julia does come back, her main concern is for Julia’s mom not to find out - she threatens to hit her if she tells - your underage student is being “dated” by someone who should be in jail, but nah, keeping your job is priority. Adults in this show keep failing children over and over. Look at Julia’s face.

4. Fermin!!! The sole dude in this show I’d want in RL!

5. All that fighting training is gonna come in useful. I mean, Ivan is going to acquire a body count before he hits majority!

6. Speaking of horrible adults - Julia’s mom. She treats her 40+ husband and her underage grieving daughter as equally culpable. “I forgave you for sleeping with my husband,” “you slept with him because you are spoiled!” THE HELL!!! This is not your 45-year-old friend, this is your 16 year old daughter who was abused JESUS. And then when Julia mouths off, she slaps her and does not apologize. Julia keeps pushing and pushing but in a way it’s the same reason Ivan kept pushing and pushing with Maria - to be convinced they are loved even if they are “bad.” And Maria passes the test while Julia’s mom fails. Julia is still underaged, still a daughter who got hit by her mother. And despite her defiance and shields, you can see her heartbreak.

7. Everything related to Paula is so creepy. But also, in retrospect even before Nazi reveal, it was all pointing that way - the way they threw out Elsa’s “imperfect” twin, the IQ thing, the experiments, and of course:

8. This is the moment I started shipping them the first time around and I still adore this. Maria returning his kindness and trusting him like he trusted her in s1, and also getting his bullet out by herself. She was tough, kind and loyal. And so warm. No wonder he fell hard.

9. Julia turning Ivan in for stealing the test.

It’s interesting to me because what strikes me is not that (she has reasonable basis to believe he did, she doesn’t know or owe him anything, and if she doesn’t, she doesn’t get to go on her Paris trip) but the gang’s reaction. More specifically, Caro’s reaction. She totally jumps to conclusion that he did it which not only is a not great thing to do for a gf who is supposed to trust him (as he points out), but also points out how much she doesn’t know him on a basic level - since when has Ivan ever cared about grades or studying? I mean, seriously! And it turns out that the paper he had were tickets he booked for a surprise trip for them since he knew she couldn’t go see her mom. And she feels bad but (a) the fact that she needed literal proof means this is a broken relationship (b) Ivan is completely correct when he points out she normally supports everyone but not him. When he asks her “why are you even with me?” and she doesn’t have an answer, that is answer enough. Honestly, his basically calling it quits then and there is a healthy thing because it’s healthier to want to be with someone only when they like you back, when they support you, and when the relationship is working for both of you. That is actually a start on the learning curve for him - don’t cling to those who don’t want to be there, seek a real relationship or not at all. Though he asks her to leave and she does and you know what struck me? In a way, even if he didn’t realize it, it was a test (just as his asking why she is with him was one - if she loved him, she’d have then said it) - what he was hoping for though not expecting tbh is for her to try to stay. But she does not. (He does that with Maria and she stays; he later does it with Julia in s7 and she chases! But Caro leaves and that’s fine, she has every right to do so and not be in a relationship that is not working out, but that very fact proves they are a bad fit and are best off apart.)

10. Hector preventing Julia from going off with abuser stepdad was A+++. He is actually acting like a damn adult, and putting the wellbeing of teens under his care first!!! And then the way he takes the man down - telling him he will report him to the cops and asking what he enjoyed more - sleeping with a teen girl or sticking it to his wife. Hector!!! (Side note - stepdaddy tries the usual abuser playbook “Julia is vvv mature for her age” and the way Hector just sweeps this away is A+++)

[hellofeanor]

Fëanorian Quenya

Hey friends! Do you like elves? Do you like the Silmarillion? Do you like Fëanor and co? And most of all, do you like spending hours thinking about minor details pertaining to made-up languages??? If so, boy do I have a treat for you! Let’s delve into the weird world of Fëanorian Quenya and explore some history and mechanics of why they talk Like That.

I’ve seen a lot of posts joking about the Fëanorian lisp, which is about as funny as a joke about a speech impediment can be. 👍 It’s important to understand, though, that this IS a joke. No, they didn’t really speak with a lisp. Yes, they did pronounce some S sounds as TH. That’s the critical disclaimer here: SOME. It’s not a blanket pronunciation. There’s a lot of background research that goes into determining which words would be pronounced with S and which would be TH, and that’s what we’re going to look at.

So if this is something you’ve come across in fandom and you’re not totally sure on the details, or if you ARE sure and just want some more in-depth info, read on.

The stuff probably everybody knows already

For anyone who’s been hanging around the Fëanorian corner of the Silm fandom for more than three minutes, there’s about a 100% chance you’ve heard of Fëanor’s penchant for retaining an archaic TH pronunciation after the majority of the Noldor went ahead and started pronouncing this sound as S instead. You may also know that this sound is represented by the letter thorn (Þ) in HoME, but since thorn doesn’t exist in modern English orthography and it’s a pain to keep typing the ALT code, I’m sticking to TH here. Anyway, all this was due to the fact that Fëanor was a huge mama’s boy, and his mom Míriel Therindë (later called Serindë, which made Fëanor want to punch walls and possibly also fellow elves) was an outlier who retained the TH after it fell out of use. Her son Fëanor, in turn, kept this up to honor her. Now, whether or not he would have bothered if this sound hadn’t literally been a critical part of her name is debatable, but that debate is outside the scope of this essay.

Fëanor continued to use the TH pronunciation until his death, and required his sons to use it as well. Finwë, however, switched over to S after the death of Míriel and before his marriage to Indis. Fëanor, reasonable and level-headed as he was, took this as a personal insult and decided that anybody who rejected TH likewise rejected him. So presumably, his loyal followers would have obeyed his totally reasonable demands not to give in to the seductive S-shift.

Why tho

Why did the Noldor decide to alter their pronunciation from TH to S? Great question. Nobody really knows. For the hell of it? IDK. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But the important thing to understand is that elves, and especially Noldor, were really committed to making sure their language sounds cool. This is why it changed so much and so comparatively quickly for an immortal population: they were actively invested in changing it. They liked inventing new words and exploring new sounds and messing around with grammar.

So at some point some influential Noldo might have been like, hey y’all, let’s stop saying TH and say S instead! And everyone (except Míriel I guess, who was known for her elegant manner of speech and didn’t want to muck that up by changing pronunciation of a whole letter) was like, whoa, capital idea my good egg. And they went with it. Previous ideas along these lines included ‘hey y’all, let’s stop saying KH and say H instead’ and ‘hey y’all, let’s stop saying Z and say R instead’, and those went over swimmingly. Nobody could have foreseen the problem this TH to S business would cause.

Now here’s a fun fact. There was another change to Noldorin pronunciation that happened AFTER Fëanor’s birth, that he himself was involved in. This one was all about bilabial to labiodental F. And those sure are some words, so if you don’t know what I’m talking about (I don’t blame you), BILABIAL is a more whispery sound that happens when you say F using only air passing through your pursed lips, and LABIODENTAL is when you say F with your top teeth touching your bottom lip. Going forward I’m going to use PH to represent the bilabial sound, and F for the labiodental.

So F got on the radar of the Noldor via the Teleri, who used this sound in their language. And ol’ Fëanor figured it would be awesome to incorporate it into Quenya because he thought the PH sounded too close to HW, and the two were getting confused by lazy speakers. Why did he care? Because of his dad’s name and his own, of course. If people started to get lazy in their pronunciation, we’d end up with Hwinwë and Hwëanáro, which would be terrible and stupid and unacceptable. He accused the Vanyar of leaning down that road, and he wanted to stop that kind of shift before it happened to the Noldor. How to do that? Why, by instigating a different shift from traditional Noldorin PH to Telerin F!

“Hey y’all, let’s stop saying PH and say F instead!”

“Whoa, capital idea my good egg.”

Moral of the story: Fëanor is only concerned with Quenya pronunciation insofar as it affects his own name and the names of family members he likes. He does not care whether it’s staying the same or moving to a new sound so long as it personally makes him feel good and his name sound cool. Therefore the true way to piss him off would be to call him Curuhwinwë Hwëanáro, son of Serindë.

Okay so here’s how it works

Now that history is out of the way, let’s get back to how TH was used by the Fëanorians. As I mentioned earlier, TH wasn’t a blanket pronunciation. It all depended on the original form of the word, and whether the root had a TH or an S. And some very similar-sounding words come from different roots, so this can get tricky. A great resource that’ll give you this information is Eldamo: Quenya words where the S was originally TH are marked out with the Þ (thorn) symbol in the wordlist.

Some examples:

Súlë (spirit, breath) comes from the root THŪ, which means it would be pronounced with a TH. Silma (white crystal) comes from the root SIL, so it and related words like Silmaril would be pronounced with an S. No Fëanorian would say Thilmaril. Isil (moon), however, is a similar-sounding word that comes from a different root: THIL. Olos (mass of flowers) comes from the word LOTH, but: Olos (dream) comes from the root LOS. Fëanorian pronunciation would immediately differentiate between these two words.

While Fëanorians may have retained the distinct pronunciation of TH vs S, other Noldor can still differentiate between original S and S-that-used-to-be-TH in their writing. There are specific tengwar to use depending on the word’s original form. Silmë (the one that looks like a 6) is used for original S, while súlë (or thúlë, the one that looks like an h) is used for original TH.

Which other elves used this sound in their speech?

Fandom has really latched on to this TH as a Fëanorian thing, but it wasn’t that exclusively. The TH sound was actually ubiquitous in other elven languages, and in Valinor, only the Noldor dropped it. It was still used in Telerin and in Vanyarin Quendya. The Vanyar retained the TH not because of anything to do with Míriel, but just because they were a little more conservative and their language didn’t pick up on all the changes that the Noldor made. They also noped out of the Z to R shift the Noldor initiated, opting to keep the Z around.

When Indis married Finwë, she stopped using the normal Vanyarin TH and switched over to S as a gesture of loyalty to him and his people. Finarfin, however, out of love for the Vanyar and Teleri, switched BACK to TH. I like to think about how much it would have annoyed Fëanor that his snot-nosed kid brother was speaking correctly, but for the wrong reason. Go down one more generation, and Galadriel very specifically did not use TH. But this time it was absolutely a choice made as a glaring middle finger to Fëanor.

What this means for your fanfic or whatever

The big takeaway here: you can’t just have Fëanorians replace every S with TH and call it a day.

If you’re inventing names for your Fëanorian OCs or coming up with phrases for them to say, it’s important to look into the history of all Quenya S-words you end up using to determine if they should be S or TH. If Fëanor got mad about somebody saying Serindë instead of Therindë, he’d get equally mad about somebody saying Thilmaril instead of Silmaril and assume they were mocking him. Remember: this is a dude with no chill. (On the other hand, if you WANT somebody to be mocking Fëanor, Galadriel would 100% do this because she has an equally negligible amount of chill.)

It’s also important to note that the TH isn’t a true shibboleth, since pretty much all elves EXCEPT the non-Fëanorian Noldor use it. And even the S-preferring Noldor would still be able to pronounce the TH. Those who went into exile would go on to use it commonly in Sindarin, and those who remained in Valinor would still encounter it among the Vanyar and Teleri. So if you’re writing a scene where somebody has to pronounce a TH word to prove their loyalty… yeah, everyone can pass this test. And in the opposite direction, you can’t use TH to prove somebody’s an evil Fëanorian, either. They might just be Vanyarin or something. Or, like. Really Old.

Would the sons (and followers) of Fëanor keep using TH after his death? Oh hell yeah. This is an entire family unfamiliar with the concept of not dying on hills. They will keep using it unto the ending of the world. Actually, with Sindarin becoming the common language of Middle-earth from the First Age, probably not a lot of change happened in exilic Quenya. It became a lore language: a piece of living history. It would have been preserved as it was when the original speakers left Valinor.

(And then, thousands of years later, Galadriel finally returns home to Tirion like, Long have mine eyes awaited this most blissful of sights, and ne’er hath my sprit soared with such grace, for I am returned! And all the Amanyar Noldor stare at her like, whatchu bangin on bout, eh? Because they had nothing better to do in the peace of Valinor than push Quenya to brave and frankly questionable new horizons.)

Anyway, there you go: a somewhat brief history of Fëanorian Quenya. I hope you found this informative and useful, or at the very least not boring. Obvs this is super condensed and, uh, not particularly scholarly, but I promise I know what I’m talking about. I have a university degree! (Not in anything even remotely related to what’s written above, but I hardly see how that’s relevant. It’s still a DEGREE.)

Questions? Need clarification or want more info? My asks are always open!

[belphies-wife]

What Naps Are Like With Them (Everyone)

In celebration of my first post kinda blowing up, I wrote a little something for all the characters, including Luke! (platonically for him, of course)

Again, thank you guys for all the love on my Satan Reacting to Montero fic <3 I’ll be working on requests after this.

Also, no beta we die like Lilith.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Lucifer

➼ Never sleeps, e v e r

➼ His brothers would destroy the House of Lamentation in his sleep

➼Took a while to convince him to take a nap with you because of this

➼ His brothers listen to you more than they listen to their older brother, so you begged them to behave for a few hours so that their older brother can rest for once

➼ You will use your pact if you have to, just please let this man sleep

➼ You made sure to pick a day where you know Lucifer hadn’t slept the night before due to his workload

➼ Seriously, you had to talk to Diavolo about that

➼ You both got into your comfiest pajamas and played some soft classical music for ultimate relaxation

➼ You thought about taking a picture of hm while he slept

➼ He saw it coming and had you sleep facing away from him with his arms wrapped around you so you couldn’t turn around

➼ Smart bastard

➼  If you complain about it he’ll laugh at you

➼ Hey, at least you get cuddles

➼ Luci here looks so calm and peaceful while he sleeps, it’s adorable

➼ No wonder everyone tries to take a picture of him sleeping

➼ He’s a heavy sleeper, so you end up having to wake him up after a few hours

➼ He thanks you

➼ He’s well-rested and in a good mood for the rest of the day

➼ His brothers obviously take advantage of that

»»————-　♔　————-««

Mammon

➼ Unlike most of his brothers, he actually has a decent sleep schedule (most of the time)

➼ However, if you wanted to take a nap with him, he wouldn’t say no

➼ Well, he’d say no, but then say yes immediately after

➼ “Whaddya mean you wanna take a nap with me? Do I look like Belphie!?”

➼ Blushing like crazy while complaining, as usual

➼ “Fine, I’ll go nap with him, then.”

➼ “Oi! Come back here! I changed my mind, I wanna take a nap!”

➼ Tsundere baby

➼ Obviously, you tease him about it

➼ “Jealous, huh? I thought that was Levi’s thing.”

“Shut up! Are we gonna cuddle or not?”

“I said nap, not cuddle.”

➼ Cue the pout

➼ The definition of the 🥺 face

➼ Please love this child

➼ “I’m kidding, of course we’re gonna cuddle.”

➼ Usually a little spoon

➼ Unless he’s in a jealous mood

➼ If he is, he will hold on to you like his life depends on it.

➼ More teasing, obviously

➼ If you think about it, Greed and Envy are very similar

➼ Poor baby wants love

➼ New drinking game: take a shot every time I call Mammon a baby

➼ I shot of water, I know you’re dehydrated

➼ Anyways, naps with Mammon = cuddles

➼ Either you’re holding him to you or he’s holding you to him

➼ f o r e h e a d  k i s s e s

➼ Mammon gets nightmares about what happened with Belphie sometimes, so lots of comfort cuddles

»»————-　♔　————-««

Leviathan

➼ “Levi, did you sleep at all last night?”

➼ Obviously not

➼ He was up all night binge watching the latest season of “The Magical Ruri Hanai: Demo Girl”’s  spin-off series

➼ Why would you even ask?

➼ “Levi, did you stay up all night?”

➼ He looked away, a little embarrassed. “Uh, yeah.”

➼ “Levi, honey. You need to sleep. It’s not good for your health to be staying up so late.”

➼ Leviathan.exe has stopped working

➼ You’re worrying about him?????

➼ And you’re calling him honey?????

➼ Are you trying to kill him?????

➼ “You must be exhausted. Wanna take a nap?”

“Oh, uh. Yeah. I guess I could use a nap.”

“Alright. We should go to my room, since there’s more room on my bed than in your tub.”

➼ Wait you meant a nap together????

➼ You’re really trying to kill him.

➼ Usually, he’d make fun of you and call you a normie.

➼ But he was currently too busy dying.

➼ If somehow you managed to resurrect him and get him to your room to nap, then you’d know this shy boi is a little spoon.

➼ Does this really come as a surprise to anyone? It shouldn’t.

➼ He’s blushing like crazy the whole time.

➼ “Levi, if you can't sleep with me here, I can leave.”

“No!”

➼ He does sleep eventually.

➼ Sweet baby cuddles you in his sleep.

➼ Wholesome af

»»————-　♔　————-««

Satan

➼ As the most responsible one in the family, he has a pretty good sleep schedule, so he doesn’t normally take naps.

➼ However, if you ask him to, he’ll agree. 

➼ If it makes you happy he’ll do it <3

➼ He’s not really touchy-feely and won’t initiate any cuddling.

➼ Dude that you asked to nap because you were tired and wanted to sleep.

➼ Nah bro, you just want cuddles.

➼ While he won’t initiate any cuddles, if you make it more obvious that you want some, he’ll give them to you.

➼ Big spoon

➼ If you want him to be the small spoon, he will, but he’ll be flustered af.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Asmodeus

➼ “Asmo, wanna sleep together?”

➼ Could you have made a poorer word choice?

➼ No, you could not.

➼ This boy literally made the lenny face.

➼ “Asmo, I meant a nap.”

“Well, I suppose that’ll satisfy me for now.”

➼ You then proceeded to smack him with a pillow.

“Hey! Don’t mess up my hair!”

➼ You had to wait for him to take off his makeup and change his clothes and stuff.

➼ It’s a process.

➼ Cuddle’s tf out of you.

➼ He’ll be the big spoon or the little spoon. It doesn’t matter to him, so you can decide.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Beelzebub

➼ Takes naps with Belphie a lot and thought it was cute that you also wanted to nap.

➼ Pre-nap snack first, though.

➼ Then he’s ready.

➼ Sweet boi will enjoy the nap whether he’s a big spoon or little spoon.

➼ If you’re happy, he’s happy <3

➼ You kiss his face a lot.

➼ He thinks you’re the cutest little human ever when you do that.

➼ I’d say soft Beel, but when is he ever not soft?

➼ Not counting the custard incident

➼ He Likes to kiss the top of your head while you sleep.

➼ He definitely snores.

➼ It takes some getting used to, but you’re not gonna let keep you from cuddling your big boi.

➼ It honestly feels really safe and comforting to just be wrapped up in his arms.

➼ Equally comforting to have his head resting against you.

➼ Overall just really soft.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Belphegor

➼ You don’t even need to ask. He’s the king of naps.

➼ Being around Belphie for an extended period of time makes you sleepy.

➼ You’re not sure if it’s because he’s sleep or if it’s because he has some sort of sleep-power.

➼ Any time you cuddle you end up taking a nap.

➼ Do I even have to say it?

➼ S m a l l  s p o o n

➼ The smallest spoon.

➼ As the youngest, he’s the most spoiled, so he’s really really clingy and just expects you to drop whatever you’re doing at any given time to nap with him.

➼ I mean, you’d probably do it even if he didn’t expect you to.

➼ He does this adorable thing when he’s sleepy and he sees you nearby where he’ll go up to you and wrap his arms around you and rest his head against your shoulder and just say “Sleep, please.”

➼ You will stop whatever you’re doing no matter what and go up to the attic to nap with him.

➼ Not an exaggeration. It’s happened while Lucifer was talking to you before he he was p i s s e d.

➼ It was obviously intentional

➼ But how can you say no to his cute face?

➼ He seems to be able to keep you from having nightmares and you sleep 100x better with him than on your own

➼ Softest boi

»»————-　♔　————-««

Simeon

➼ While he may dress like a stripper, this man is an angel and is pure™

➼ Anything you want, you’ll get. How can he ever deny you a thing?

➼ He can’t.

➼ You want naps? You get naps.

➼ You want cuddles? You get cuddles.

➼ You want sleepy kisses? You get sleepy kisses.

➼ Hotel? Trivago.

➼ But seriously, sleepy kisses are definitely a thing.

➼ Especially forehead kisses.

➼ Big spoon. He likes to hold you.

➼ Sweet boy loves you so much 🥺

»»————-　♔　————-««

Luke (Platonically)

➼ Purgatory Hall has weekly movie nights, and they invite you over a lot to join them.

➼ You and Solomon have a very long list of human world movies you want Simeon to watch, but the poor man can’t figure out how Devilflix works for the life of him, so group movie nights are the only way.

➼ Not that any of you mind, of course.

➼ Luke begged Simeon to let him join you guys (he has a pretty strict bedtime)

➼ Simeon lets him occasionally if the movie is appropriate.

➼ Luke insisted on sitting next to you and sharing any treats he made that day.

➼ Poor baby ended up falling asleep not even halfway through the movie.

➼ Solomon obviously made fun of him.

➼ “Looks like it’s naptime for the little chihuahua.”

“Don’t tease him!” You say, defending Luke.

➼ At some point, Luke shifts so that he’s leaning against you in his sleep.

➼ You coo at how cute the ‘lil cherub looks.

➼ Aaaand then you proceed to fall asleep as well.

➼ You woke up the next day still on the couch. You were pretty confused since Simeon usually carries anyone who falls asleep to their bed (or the guest room, in your case).

➼ Then you realize Luke still asleep and wrapped around you.

➼ HE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS BABY EVER

➼ You assumed Simeon didn’t want to attempt moving one of you and risk waking the other so he just left you too

➼ Whatever it was, you went back to sleep with the little cherub snuggling you

»»————-　♔　————-««

Solomon

➼ Purgatory Hall sleepover!

➼ Everyone had already fallen asleep, so you asked Solomon if he’d be alright with you two sleeping together.

➼ Not a good idea.

➼ You’re both settled in his bed and you’re about to drift off to sleep when this silly little sorcerer decided to tickle you.

➼ You  s h r e i k

➼ “Solomon!”

➼ “Keep your voice down, dear. You wouldn’t want Simeon hearing and getting the wrong idea, now. Would you?”

➼ The  s m a c c  you gave him though-

➼ “Can I sleep now, or are you gonna keep bothering me?”

“You know you love me.” He grinned.

“Well, duh. But I also love sleep.”

➼ He does let you sleep after that.

➼ You fall asleep first, and one look at your sleeping face and he falls in love with you all over again.

➼ You’re so  p r e c i o u s.

➼ He held you close to him as you slept, pressing soft, featherlight kisses against our forehead and nose, careful not to wake you.

➼ He’s a bitch until you fall asleep, pretty much.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Diavolo

➼ It wasn’t intentional for you to fall asleep, really.

➼ You’d had a long day, and you had been sitting with the demon prince at his palace as he told you about his day over a cup of tea.

➼ It wasn’t like what he was saying was boring.

➼ No, it’s just that you were so tired, and the sofa you were sitting on was so comfy, and Diavolo was talking so much.

➼ It didn’t help that the tea that Barbatos had prepared was especially soothing.

➼ You couldn’t help yourself. You dozed off.

➼ Diavolo continued talking, and probably would’ve gone on for a long while without even noticing if Barbatos hadn’t cleared his throat and gestured towards your sleeping form.

➼ If it had been anyone else, he would have deemed it disrespectful. 

➼ But it was you, and he had realized a long time ago that he was incapable of being upset with you.

➼ “It seems they’ve had a tiring day, my Lord. I suggest you let them rest.” Said Barbatos.

“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of disturbing them.” Carefully, he made his way over to you and pried the teacup from our hands so that you didn’t move and break it in your sleep.

➼ Then, he removed his suit jacket and draped it over you like a blanket.

➼ Not gonna lie, even Barbatos was a bit shooketh. 

➼ He didn’t say anything, though.

➼ Diavolo kissed your forehead lightly and had Barbatos bring him the last of his paperwork for the day, which he finished quickly while remaining by your side.

➼ After that he picked up our still sleeping form and brought you to his room where he tucked you in.

➼ He sent Lucifer a text saying that you would be staying the night at the palace then went to sleep after answering a few emails.

➼ He snores loudly, but you somehow managed to sleep through it.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Barbatos

➼ Diavolo set up another palace retreat (because I said so)

➼ You had been assigned a room with Luke and Beelzebub that time.

➼ It went good at first, and everyone was sent off to sleep at around 10 p.m.

➼ At some point in the middle of the night, you awoke from a particularly nasty nightmare.

➼ You were more scared than usual when you woke up, since the room you were in was not your room at the House of Lamentation.

➼ It took a while for you to realize where you were and calm down, but even then you were to afraid to sleep.

➼ Slowly, you exited the room, careful not to disturb Luke and Beel.

➼ You made your way to Barbatos’ room and knocked softly.

➼ Briefly, you wondered if he was asleep, but then he opened the door.

➼ You silently panicked when you realized your hair was a mess and your clothing was rumpled from sleep, but your disheveled appearance didn’t seem to faze him.

➼ “Hello. I was just about to prepare for bed. Is something the matter?”

➼ Suddenly, you felt very, very silly to come to such an ancient, powerful being for help with a little nightmare.

➼ “Sorry, it’s nothing. I apologize for bothering you. I’ll leave.” You said, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

“You never bother me, my dear. Would you like to come in?” He asked, opening the door wider and stepping aside.

“Yes. I would like that.”

“Is something bothering you?”

You blushed. “I had a nightmare. I couldn’t go back to sleep after that. I know, it’s silly.”

“Of course it isn’t.”

“Can I... Can I stay here with you tonight?”

“If it would make you feel better, you may.”

➼ Barbatos tucked you in then sat next to you, gently running his hands through your hair. He began singing an old song in some ancient, forgotten language. His voice was soft and soothing as he sang, and you found yourself unable to stay awake even if you tried.

➼ “Goodnight, my dear.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Thank you so much for reading!

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[whetstonefires]

Okay so having finished The Untamed--

spoilers now but also, I haven't read the book yet so pls don't get into it with me about it if it's super different--

one thing that's really sticking with me is the parallels between Jin Guangyao and Jin Guangshan's deaths.

Specifically, the way Nie Huaisang's choice of final blow resembles what Jin Guangyao did with his father, and how deeply that underlines the way nhs chose to become his enemy in order to defeat him. In a way the plot-level scheming doesn't really achieve that comparison.

Because, see, the thing about Jin Guangshan's death, about Meng Yao bringing in those women to stage a weird noncon death orgy is--that was just theater. For an audience of basically the two of them, since he killed off most of the witnesses afterward.

Jin Guangyao bought and spent a bunch of women's lives to kill his father in a poetically fitting, humiliating way. A way that only worked because the man was already dying!

Meng Yao had good reasons to kill his father. Arguably his being quicker off the mark and more proactive about it would have made things better for everyone. But no. He waited all that time, until he could have just smothered the man with a pillow and gotten away with it, and then launched this elaborate punishment death for him.

For a man whose treatment of sex workers as disposable was one of the main crimes Meng Yao held against him.

The main irony is not at the old man's expense here dude, what are you doing.

All his other crimes were in service of something! Even if it was something fucked-up and/or lame and awful and clearly not worth it, he had a goal he was working toward and in some cases probably really was telling himself he had no choice--I don't think that's an excuse you'd proffer quite that incessantly if you hadn't been using it internally.

But killing Jin Guangshan like that--that was just for his own satisfaction. Using those women up so he could pointlessly enjoy it.

So then when Nie Huaisang chooses to kill Meng Yao by abusing Lan Xichen's trust--equally, he didn't have to do that.

Meng Yao was exposed and injured and outnumbered and alone. Even if they'd all walked away right then he was likely to die, from blood loss or infection or being caught by the cultivation world and strung up like Mussolini.

Of course, after all this trouble Nie Huaisang would want to be sure. That's why he inserted himself into the scene at all, I'm sure; he probably wanted to see it play out but he definitely wanted to make sure the revenge landed. Of course he wasn't going to risk handing his target over to justice and risking him talking his way out after all, or slipping away and moving to Japan. (Side note: I think it's very funny jgy suggested 'I'll move to Japan' as an acceptable alternative to 'I'll die.')

Nie Huaisang isn't a strong fighter, but Jin Guangyao isn't all that powerful either, as these things go, and he's down an arm and demoralized. Nie Huaisang could definitely have insisted on having him tied up, if he thought he needed the extra edge, created a distraction, and choked his enemy to death with his bare hands, if he'd wanted to. He could have sent an assassin into his cell if the man was sentenced to imprisonment.

He had a lot of options, is my point.

But he didn't do those things. Instead, he used Lan Xichen.

He used Lan Xichen exactly the same way Jin Guangyao had, abused his trust and love to manipulate him into being the instrument of killing his own sworn brother. If Lan Xichen wasn't broken already, Nie Huaisang ensured it, and he damn well knew what he was doing.

A friend of mine argues he did it because it would hurt Lan Xichen as well, as vengeance on him for being the instrument of Jin Guangyao's plot to kill Nie Mingjue. Idk if this is like, something that's outright stated in the text or just A Reasonable Interpretation, but it's not better that way--it's less careless, but it just even more emphasizes that he knew.

He knew who he was emulating.

And that's part of the point of interest to me because it's very clear that Huaisang does know who he's imitating, whose game he's choosing to play back at him. What he's choosing to become.

It's not so blatant in their both using Wei Wuxian because, firstly, he's the main character so we expect him to be at the center of things; secondly, everyone wants to use Wei Wuxian; thirdly, Nie Huaisang's schemes are comparatively beneficial to him.

Wei Wuxian himself has a marked tendency to reduce himself to his utility; it's easy to let it go, as a trespass against him, especially when it literally gives him another chance at life.

When you look at how they both reduced Lan Xichen to a piece in the game, though, leveraged his affection and his trust to make him into a murder weapon--then it stands out.

Obviously they're both schemers but that's just an archetype. Spy-versus-spy beat-them-at-their-own-game isn't inherently intimate like this, even when it's vengeance. Even when it's revenge on someone you used to trust.

And Nie Huaisang knows. I don't think Jin Guangyao ever did. I think he lies to himself a lot and in the end that's a significant element in his downfall, but also he just--doesn't perceive himself with any of the detachment he's able to turn on most of the world. I don't think he ever in his life noticed the ways he'd become his father.

But Huaisang sure as fuck knew what he'd decided to become.

Which is why that endscene tying up his plot thread focuses on his not wanting to be Chief Cultivator--he didn't do all this to get Jin Guangyao out of the way and replace him. He doesn't want to become the new metaplot villain, the way jgy replaced jgs who replaced wen ruohan.

So maybe things will be okay.

This relationship between Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao and how nhs' self-awareness of how he's committed to a form of villainy and chooses to restrain himself, which is what promises an end to the abuse cycle on the political stage, ties in really interestingly to some of the other stuff mxtx does with the concept of villainy but this post is already long enough.

[problematicpervertpod]

recs on recs on recs

Yaoi/Manga I’m reading/have read. Please support the artists on official websites. If you have recs or want to chat about any of these get in my messages right the fuck now my dudes. Also spoilers, also this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, also I think I’m funny sorry in advance.

Dangerous Convenience Store

Tags: Ongoing, self aware lead for the most part, gangs, smut, love triangle, possessive, not rapey, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, college, age gap, good art, muscular bodies, seme is adorable/romantic in sp chapters, sexual awakening, meeting the gang (in two ways!), FAINTS OF CUTENESS/HOTNESS, the memes after every chapter got me gagged, HAHE hahahahahahahahahaha, OMG DO I GET SOME CNC?! (update: short lived), we stan a vocal man (Ahjussi), thigh fucking, my mans be like my thighs hurt fuck my ass instead DECEASED, ass smacking, these memes are so good god damnit, rimming

8/10, I live for Ahjussi (Am I spelling this wrong..)

The New Employee 

-love love love

Tags: ongoing, we stan supportive boyfriends, healthy relationship, boss/employee, smut, office setting, good art, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Love Shuttle

Tags: completed, ABO, enemies to lovers, possessive, coworkers, fake relationship, strong omega, the art sucks but I like the story, art gets better after the 1st season, alphas eyes change colors when happy/anxious, muscular bodies, 7/10, update 10/10 art is meh but fml this storyline is basic af in the best way and it’s the fluff/smut I need, when you’re caught by the folks *cringe*

Hold Me Tight

Tags: ongoing, boss/employee, bodyguard, gio can’t feel heat until felix comes along, uke is strong af, horny bastards, smut, possessive, tragic childhood, moving in together right away, rich seme, felix in a bunny costume though *heart eyes*, dialogue is great, rape in a technical sense but the vibe is written like both characters are all good after? Ex. hospital scene…dub con, ART IS GREAT, hand holding during sex, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Yours to Claim 

Tags: ongoing, love triangle, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, main is big switch energy, reincarnation, jealousy, manipulative, possessive, self aware lead for the most part, toxic af, GREAT ART, college, rich semes, 10/10 will re-read and not even finished, SONOFABITCH that cliff hanger!! Season 3 come thruuuu (I have to wait until November? *cries* BUT MAH LOVE TRIANGLE!!, I want a THROUPLE GOD DAMN IT

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Tags: obsessed with this story, will the incense burner scenes make it?? No tags because I'll never forget this one haha wangxian 5ever, send me all fanfics/fan art you have about this story, love Dark Wangji, Jadecest, ABO/omegaverse, Bottom Wangji/Top Wei Ying, and honestly anything regarding this fandom

Bj Alex

Tags: completed, great art, 11/10 will re-read, cam boy, fanboy, seme is an asshole, uke is so sexy, jealously, rich seme, enemies to lovers kind of?, CHANWOO IS MY BOY FOR LIFE, Chanwoo MD supremacy, BDSM (like really really), fuck I love Chanwoo, college students, rich seme, emotional rollercoaster, uke soft body, mean seme, college life, that one nosy bitch ass guy trying to expose my boys needs to fuck right off, seme split/fake personality, dub con 

Anti PT

Tags: ongoing, 11/10 re-readable, porn with feelings, love triangle, jealousy, attempted non-con, personal training wink wink, main love interest is actually the best, second male lead is a god damn creep, first time, smut, great art, sex addict/constantly horny uke, I WANT A HWI, 

Related: https://www.anime-planet.com/manga/anti-pt/recommendations 

Payback

Tags: ongoing, both are psychopaths tbh, revenge, gangs, uke sells himself to seme, violent seme, entertainment industry, brunette supremacy, what this motherfucker gonna do? hehe , great art, muscular bodies, dead dove do not eat, my mans must be GOOD looking/animal magnetism cause everyone losing their fucking minds, okay this is a comedy I’m dying, he tried to scare him with wanting to be a top but my psycho said REVERSEUNO BITCH I’M A VERSE (wait jk apparently *sigh*), anonymous masked sex (sad n’ kinky)

My Suha

Tags: ongoing, wow this gets dark, possessive af like holy shit, terrible people all around uke, rape, boss/employee, office politics/family politics, smut, characters that are punchable, dead dove do not eat, *velociraptor noises*, avoided this for a while but I’m back because nothing can be more emotionally devastating than Banana Fish, TIE HIM UP, FUCK HIS FACE ALKSJD:ASKD, FUCK SUHA UR SO HOT that dirty talk though YAS, glad I picked this back up lmao, GOD DAMN IT just when the package arrived then this red head fucker *screams*

Shame Application aka Dirty Vibration

Tags: completed, friends to lovers, model seme, cute af uke, love triangle, entertainment industry, smut, kink, all kinds of sex everywhere, realized feelings, mutual pining, jealousy, rich seme, blonde seme, big brother 1984 always watching, 10/10 would re-read, porn with plot, they were roommates!, ~straight~ seme, first times, great art, remembering some cringe but considering the story it’s par for the course

Will You Subscribe

Tags: ongoing, season 1 completed, enemies to lovers, cam boy, office politics, boss/employee, hiding a secret, public sex, stalkers/creepy men, emotionally stunted characters, mutual pining, idiots in lust, lingerie company, slut shaming, jealousy/possessiveness, season 2 bebeh, HOLDING HANDS *velociraptor noises*, LMAO okay my mans is not THAT old how tf does he not know netflix and chill, BUNNY COSTUME (quickly becoming my new fav trope in manga, A+ gang), oh we stan a good boy, wtf is wrong with wanting to do cam work, ‘I wish my marks could become permanent’ *omegaverse wink*, *works for lingerie company* *doesn’t understand where bf gets sexy costumes* like wut kind of fuckery…, cross dressing ftw, roleplay, classic BL miscommunication trope

Hyperventilation

Tags: completed, high school crush, unrequited love, mutual pining, smut, quickie (short story), class reunion, apparently furry with the extra chapter turning my man into a bunny but c'est la vie! https://myreadingmanga.info/korean-bl-animation-hyperventilation-engsub/ this is the animation of the same story, different endings but same in tone (this site is spammy AF but the English subs are so hard to find for this) 8/10 

Unmei no tsugai ga omae da nante

Tags: only one bed, ABO, office setting. Coworkers, enemies to lovers, competitive, equality in the omegaverse, dubcon, real dicks and not lightsabers, fated pair, art is cute af 8/10

K’s Secret

Tags: buckle up buttercup, dead dove do not eat, angst, pining, somnophilia, dub con, non con, boss/employee, manipulative, stalking, forced relationship, tragic childhood background, weird art but gets better,  uke: don’t threaten me with a good time but seriously stop threatening me, possessive & obsessive, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, wow were going full psycho stalker hm?, dating a narcissist is all fun and (mind)games, con non con… ? honestly who tf knows, domestic!, OW MY HEART, the t/n WAP note sent me, ch 51 translated by gen z, do special ep= furry? Wait there’s a maid costume, bunny costume, directors friends keeping it real, rough translations 8/10

Enthusiasm

Tags: ongoing, dead dove do not eat, uke buys seme, masc boys, muscular bodies, fight club, master/slave, rich uke, revenge, real dicks not lightsabers, rough sex, cuckholding, daddy issues, suicide, wow the end of ch 5 punched a hole in my heart, penile implant life,  rough translations makes the storyline wonky, nvm back to lightsabers *star wars noises*, HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY I CAN NOT, shibari, possessive, wait this is cute *velociraptor noises*, angst, no kithes for you “bestie”, OBSESSED, honestly choke him pupper, STAY THE NIGHT ALKSDJA:SLDKJAS:LKDJA:SLDKj, problematic but I’m riding for these two, 

Ichimai Goshi Fetish

Tags: completed, short, fetishes DO start in childhood don’t they *ruminates*, author: describes ML as a beautiful 2D character meanwhile: ML IS 2D character, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, “real dudes don’t interest me” is a MOOD, comedy, jealousy, college setting, dialogue is A+, not lightsabers but not dicks either, first time, when you’re fucked so good you think you’ve died, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4uEq5Nx6ko, hero/villain roleplay. Fluff n smut 10/10

My Purrfect Boss

Tags: completed, tooth rotting fluff because blondie is so FUCKING cute little sensitive soul, golden retriever boyfriend, pure comedy, DECEASED, MY MAN JUST DID THE SLOW BLINK, office setting, boss/employee, ~wasted~ (red dead redemption meme),  FFS SO CUTE, he put a ring on it right away beyonce would be proud af, he protecc he attack but most importantly he hit it from the back, jealousy, honeymoon phase of dating, the ex is a snake (update: oh wow literally), I’m picking up abuse/PTSD vibes based on how Kang reacts to his ex :(, classic BL miscommunication plot, immediately no meme audio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XWSGfYnps) ,  I WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER CHA WTF!!!!!!, gang rape, spiked with drugs that force heat, me rn:*screaming/rage*, psychotic ex/abuser, HE PROTECCC, actual relief after that scene jesus fuck, okay YES kings I see you, okay this is giving me cuteness aggression, hi yes I’d like to adopt a cat and a dog please 9/10

Following Namsoo to the Bathhouse

Tags: completed, same author as, “My Purrfect Boss”, A+ comedy once again, JUNIOR, gay awakening, “fap myself to death” DEAD, facial expressions are ridic, my minds telling me no but my body, my bodyyyy’s telling me yaaaaa, ya boy is literally losing his mind over this, actual lightsabers lmao, FLUFF, permasmile, 6969, THINKS THEY’RE GOING TO EAT RAMEN, dense gay, own your skin wtf okay hannibal calm down, everyone is officially cray,  ah I also am barfy when drunk, denial really is something hm, classic BL miscommunication plot, when people pleasing too far, happy ending 🥺🥰, side story: our crazy gets his very own crazy (ashton Kutcher from spread vibes), public sex, sex sparkle 9/10

Alien in my Closet

Tags: ongoing (maybe completed but def ongoing on the site I use), not rapey at all?? You’d think it’s impossible in this medium ffs, anti pt vibes, cute art, fluff ‘n smut, red head!!, they were roomates!, sex toys, bsdm, D/s (brat)dynamic or maybe owner/pet, bondage, *tiffany hadish voice* this is noiceeee, con humiliation/degradtion, SANTA CLAUS, edging, marking, one lotus please (he’s clearly read the 4 agreements and karma sutra), con non con, exhibitionism, the wrist thing stays on people, Katoptronophilia,  roleplay, is it stalking when you bring your friends?, lotus: welcome home cheater, the chin on the head thing gives me cuteness aggression, the twins are my favs, when ur crush vanilla af 😭, haesung: experiment on me daddy, no dick until halfway through/fingering supremacy, bedroom sessions has me gagged, voyeurism, wait they haven’t kissed this whole time I forgot (audio: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryley/video/6976701880277748997?lang=en), sunbae is sus, YES FINALLY A FUCKING SWITCH COUPLE AKJSDHALKSJDHASKLJDHALS KJDALKSJD (update: sort of), there’s a missed opportunity for an anal probe joke, damn it okay maybe sunbae is chill, 3 musketeers, my heart*implodes*, *velociraptor noises*, 12/10 would re-read such fluff my heart 

On Doorstep

Tags: completed, age gap, reese has ptsd, jimmy going from 0 to 100, jimmy really got down on his knees at work, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) deepest part you say, real dicks, ride him like a rodeo, quickie/short story, porn with plot

Gorani Jeon

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, no alpha though, animal hybrid, art is beautiful like it's drawn on paper not a screen, 40 inch weave yours came in a pack, historical (non-modern), lord send me a sexy man pls, the memes after each chapter are golden, taking the phrase licking wounds literally, is that an eggplant or are you just happy to see me hehe, ahhh so inhibitors do exist here, vertical 69, here lays Bau fucked to death by Ran, WHY HE TOUCHING MY MAN, these chickens are dope, stomp on his dick, that’s what I call a happy meal, fucked right out the front door I’M DEAD, mpreg, i need a tiger+mountain god spin off (whoops dad/son my bad), slice of life, cute fluff 8/10

Room to room

Tags: completed, college setting, A+ dialogue, absurd size difference, unrequited love,  sexsomina, dubcon, angst, death by a thousand cuts emotionally, insecurity, body envy, pining, friends to lovers, they were roommates!, homophobia, sexual assault, PTSD, gays in denial, the tattoo 🥺 ow my heart, truly this is 90% smut, “going from unrequited love to fwbs is shittier than I expected”, dowan *bad blood by t swift* when he sees garam, ch 22garam reminds me of my ex and that’s not a compliment, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is vibes, triflers need not apply, spanking, 😭😭😭😭😭 my heart hurts, is anyone getting a bit of a puppy play vibe? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vni9ZWmDXis, handcuffs, lots of head we stan, dowan’s gotta a touch of a foot thing or maybe body worship thing, asdlfgkjs ;dlkfgjsd;flkgj;sdflkgj;sdlfgjs;d/gkdf SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, roleplay. They broke the bed no use of crying over spilled milk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), side stories delivering man in uniform and sex toys AND puppy, asdlkjaslfkasdjfl;askdfjasdf the shirt thing is so hot, watersports, I take it back this is 98% smut 9/10

Mistake Lover

Tags: completed, when ur bff is back on their BS, love triangle, coworkers, i swear all these ukes look the same to me at this point (which is very cute), GE!!!! (wangxian flashbacks), wait no smut?.... Paused

Yagi to ookami no hatsujou jijou

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, literally on my reading list because a comment said “nice cock 10/10”hahahaha, animal hybrids, scifi/aliens, me during chapter one: am I a furry? No. Am I? Relevant audio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noJNIqvDfoo, hotties when human GOD DAMN, bi king, okay I stan this girl changing gears take your opportunities honey!, does blondie have a tinder or how is this happening? (update: called it), feminization, dubcon/noncon, marking, heats, idk about 10/10 cock but not lightsabers, translation is ruff (get it?), a yankee hahaha, literal wound licking, googles chimera, *claps* yes king selfish call his ass out, tail holding caaaayoooot, not that isn’t usually copious amounts of cum but really this is a lot 8/10

Make Me Bark

Tags: completed, $250 a month rent?? *cries in Californian*, god damn it these grey haired 2D men are really hot fml, “next months rent is a looming concern but I hope it’ll get better” followed by apartment on fire is how I feel about reality, rare characters that smile way more than they frown, sex toys, kink, puppy play, owner/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby, college setting, harness, muzzle, leash, tail plug, shirt thing!!, soaked briefs, playing barbie IRL, omg meet cute at the adult store, intercrural sex, possessive/jealousy, ah fuck yes I saw this panel on IG but it didn’t have the source but now hehe, whipping, choking, spanking, *bookmarks*, simp city, childhood friends, side couple cute af, yeonsoo: sorry I’m an anti romantic, size queen, mens lingerie, domestic, mutual pining,  these bestie pairings are *chefs kiss*, skinny but muscular bodies/no ridiculous size differences, “does he have a big dick?” “probably” “well tell him to come” GAGGED AJKSDHALSKDJHA this dialogue pure comedy, exhibitionism, human auction, maid costume, men in heels, topping in a dress, girl at the bus stop HAHAHA, ffs this is so cute, side stories: it’s a small world afterall, dynamic role reversal, pink haired boy is guru, SCREAMING AKDJA:SLDKJA:LKDJA:LSDKJLAKDJA:LDJAL:SKDJASLKDJA:SLKDJLAKSDJLASDJ:LASJD:ALSKDJASL:DJ:ASLJDPUTARINGONIT!!!! 11/10 

Gurume no fukurami

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, food fetish, feeding fetish, age gap, throuple-eqsue? There’s 3 people involved, paused ch 1 pg 30

Under the Green Light

Tags: ongoing, thank you IG for rec’ing this, brunette supremacy, neurodivergent?, lmao @hag, this statue is everything I wonder if it’s based on a real piece?, we went from talking art to being pinned to the ground REAL quick, translations rough but not as rough as my mans here, draw me like one of your french girls vibe, sass master, these dicks are ridiculously huge which is saying something for this genre, i love a verse/switch, “first time he’s asked someone to stop so his self-esteem is hurt” HAHAHAHA, stealing bae’s shirt, facials galore, car sex/public sex, jin not into praise kink clearly, sort of slut shaming jealousy, marking

Walk on Water

Tags: completed, for being about porn it’s not that smutty (i take it back), “don’t even think about running away” got me like https://giphy.com/gifs/VABbCpX94WCfS, actual dicks (lightsabers later must be the cleaners not the OG), muscular bodies, blonde seme, brunette uke, k mcqueen is everything, honestly haven’t loved a couple this much since chanwoo x MD and I LOVE THEM, jealousy, orgasm denial, the angles/frames of the art in this are insane (11/10), emotional intimacy CUTENESS HASIHDLASKDHJLAKSJDH, i wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes, dirty talk A+, bestie you turned out to be Judas you judgy fuck how dare you touch my man, Ryan is 50 shades of fucked up bb needs therapy, Chang and yeowoons sexual tension is *chefs kiss*, I ship it/all my ships sailing, woof non con but expected tbh, YEAH BABY YEAH *Austin powers voice*, fml I don’t want this story to end, meeting the Hets ™ would make me nervous too, spiderman kith, mirror sex sjkadfhasldjkfh, 34+35, JOI but with a partner? Not D/s, promises are made to broken hehe, that feeling when you understand the title, omg the fan art is so cool!! 15/10 would re-read seriously I can’t explain how well the artist used angles/how she portrayed the scenes was fucking MASTERFUL

Woof Wolf

Tags: that's my best friend (saweetie), red heads, werewolf au, college setting, students, shoot a shot in your mouth while I'm riding, facials, marking

Sexual Awakening of an Ex Delinquent 

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, sexual coercion/non con/dub con, tiddies, bondage, nipple play, edging/orgasm denial, candy in ass wow, food kink, kink in general, rich seme working class uke, lightsabers,  big dick Jesus fuck, exhibitionism, public sex, men's lingerie, Blondie is a sweet baby angel, self hatred/homophobia, sexual narrating that has me like oof 😣 that's not how this works but okay, the sweet spots thing is a great line, man is a slave to the sweets, lmao at the meme at the end of ch 9 fucking facts, kidnapping plot, rapey guys all around this story, tattoo/back story reveal has me like *nods head yes*, my throats broken has me gagged, crazy amount of sfx noises that distract from the art (I really appreciate cleaners I realize), first times, rushed ending feels,  would rate 6/10 not terrible but probably won't read again.  

With Your Tail Yes

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, quickie/short story, on man brunette looks EXACTLY like a different character by another artist like for real duplicate, home boy pulled Elle Wood’s Bend n Snap and we are HERE FOR IT, lingerie/cross dressing, okay compilation of short stories, great artwork but wtf these are far too short (maybe uploaded wrong..?), *immediately makes deal with the devil because yum*, ah okay previews THEN stories, human animal hybrid situation, lightsabers, fucking imagine your crush delivery the sex toy you ordered online HAHA *dies*, buys toys because men ain’t shit is a VIBE, you know he’s always wearing matching sets because he’s 100% that bitch, dub con/non con, knotting (unexpected), exhibitionism, public sex, good ol’ fashion blackmail to get your lover to stay with you trope, sexual assault/attempted rape, victim blaming, shibari, leashes, D/brat dynamic sort of, copious amounts of cum, lube? What lube?, marathon sex, first time, 75 hours?? Immediately no meme, 7/10 mostly for art/concepts but not execution

Heat and Run

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, omegaverse, friends to enemies to lovers, multiple couples as main to sides then sides to mains, my heart dropped because I thought the first sex scene was incest but then realized I’m mixing up all the characters derp, dense gays, this is america (the shooting comment WOOF reality feels bad man), blondes have more fun, real dicks, dubcon/CNC dealers choice, mutual pining, idiots in love, big alpha energy BDE, there are moments I feel Hayoung on a spiritual level and not sure that’s a compliment hahaha, orgasm denial/edging, istg if he bonded without Hayoung permission *jenna marbles BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU BETTAH NOT*, also I was hoping the idol was him but realizing it’s probs his sis, *deep sigh*, BDIRL, wow racism, oh no oh no no no no no meme audio, listen everyone needs to get into therapy to break that generational trauma is all I’m saying (not excusing abuse at all, trauma isn’t a free pass), NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY A GAME WITHOUT KNOWING THE RULES :ALKSDHJALKSDJA:SLKDJTRUE, matthew singing bo burnham: I’m problematic *background singers ‘he’s a problem!’*, i ship it yolo, JAEHO STAN (no means no!), mpreg, god damn it I am so worried about him getting roofie and the party scene hasn’t even started ABO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOO ME, OH THANK JAEHO, dayummmm that clapback was real fuck him UP, me clapping: MARK HIM MARK HIM, GOD DAMN IT WITH THESE ONGOING FUCKING CLIFF HANGERS FML, marked via knotting? Okay that’s new, but also like normal marking I think, fucking til bottom pees trope

Heaven Officials Blessing

Animated series season 1 complete. Live action currently filming (same director as Untamed too UGH SO HAPPY)

Tags: ongoing, same author as my fav ever MDZS, just finished season 1 animated on netflix and can no longer avoid this because I LOVE THEM, all the memes on IG make sense now, Prince voice: Dearly Beloved (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) we are gathered here today to dive deeper into a fandom I will never escape, ART IS AMAZING (https://tenor.com/view/incredible-talented-lady-brilliant-gaga-gif-14857187), group chats are always chaotic tbh, wait a minute meme audio: bride = bottom? How tf did I not get that the first time round *sigh* always hoping for a verse couple, the asst. Boys I ship hard, the sass, fuck this is going to just be pure angst isn’t it *straps in, has fluffy manga queued*, even if no smut 11/10 gege porn, not subtle, god FUCK this ART IS SO FUCKING GOOD THE TALENT skjas;ldkfja;, 🥺, traumatic cliff moment *mdzs flashbacks*, HC smirk is my new favorite thing, no fucking but lots of touching, size difference, horror, gore, wuxia, great side characters, my ear feels tingly too lmao, SOMEONE BETTER GET THESE MF SNAKES ON THIS MF PLANE (cliff), umbrella moments got me uwu, gimme at least didi pleaseandthankyou, FUCK I LOVE THIS ARTIST she keeping us WELL fed with these extras DAYUM, wind/earth master ship please sail, CALL ME DADDY IM DEAD, HC has LWJ energy like you are not qualified to talk to me LOL, WAIT this totally counts as there was only one bed trope, also I’m already excited about omegaverse ff (send me recs please please please)

4 week lovers

Tags: ongoing because apparently I want to torture myself, mutual pining/”unrequited love”, college life, friends to lovers, blackmail ur crush into sex trope, public sex, I was going to tag possessive body language but possessive in a general sense apparently (starting strong yessss), sure jan @unrequited love dialogue, THEY WERE ROOMMATES *cackles*, sus haha, rough translation, pure comedy, shirt thing!, casual abuse :( (back story, traumatic childhood), I’m getting TharnType vibes (but not quite…), that note is precious, cry during/after sex, great angles, dialogue A+ 

Burlesque Night

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, stripper/body guard, coworkers, lust at first sight, magic mike vibes, fridays = getting fucked on stage O-O, well that was traumatizing af, took a bullet, real dicks, LDR, CUTE, I’m not in love with you… sure jan, OH WOW MASTER dlksaj;alsdkja;lsdkja;sld, gay awakening/first time, the art detail is *chefs kiss*, disappointed but not surprised :( :( :(, we stan a yes and lover, shirt thing, still not sure wtf the vertical anus thing is but full circle moment haha, you know what fuck it I’d re-read this 9/10

My one and only cat

Tags: ongoing, cat hybrids, god damn it I’m totally in furrydom ffs, ah well here we go, idol hot = loneliness wahhh /s, so hot he literally transforms other beings, omg a cat cafe CUTE, fuck that cat is cute *so fluffy*, stalker status, comedy, real dicks, I think the uncle would be supportive/jealous even I hope they talk about it I’m dying to know his thoughts, big tiddies, if this ain’t the cutest shit FLUFF/SMUT, copious amounts of cum, ate it with the panties on, CAKE, xmas, his milkshakes bring all the boy(cats) to the yard, trifling bitch

Imitation Mate

Tags: completed, omegaverse, alpha x alpha. Class rivals YAS, childhood frans, enemies to lovers omg this is all the shit I want, manipulation 1000 but yolo I ship it

Mr. 100% Perfect

Tags: ongoing, so relatable, OCD?, hoarder, when I read the title I thought mental illness and I was right, masks ugh RELATABLE, getting back together w ex, woof sibling drama/manipulation, suicide attempt, omg their communication regarding the psycho is REFRESHING, OMG JEJU ISLAND I see it in every fucking kdrama ever but this is the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in a manga *hm* interesting, furry furry everywhere, eye contact, finished reading season 1 pause for an omergaverse cause, okay I’m back and season 2 starting STRONG #1 men are gross #2 mans just went right to a blowie while mf was trying to pee lmao i can NOT the germs barf, fuckboi extraordinaire stressing over a textback is *great*, that istg face is perfect, HYUNGGGG, hand on his heart OW MY HEART, vibe check LOL, here for this plot dev, END OF SEASON2 NOOOOOOOimnotready. Head bonks CUTE

The origin of species

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, sex tape, blackmail, i already don’t like this teacher, size difference, ‘JUST DIE’ hahahahahaha, I’m in love with noona, wait Ahjussi means uncle/mister? Dangerous convenience store has a new meaning to me now, DECEASED @they won’t, copious amounts of cum, alcohol to have intimacy *sighs in early 20s*, also WTF THEY ARE FUCKING AND THERE’S NO PHERMONE STUFF! What’s the point of being ABO without smell *swaggy p meme???*, wait okay ch 11 it begins, stockholm syndrome but since childhood I’m fairly certain *looking at you teacher I don’t trust these mfs*, dubcon obviously, also the can’t be knotted thing has me *cardi b meme that’s weird that’s sus* obvs poor bb about to get preg af, five word horror story: I won’t hurt you again *why tf you lyinggggg why u always lyinggg meme*, white collar crime, what’s the point of a contract when there’s no actual choice

How to Chase an Alpha

Tags: ongoing, lowkey been avoiding this one not because I think it’ll be bad I just..idk the brain is a weird thing, page 2 and I love mains attitude fucking gagged sass me bb, starting with rough translation but it be that way sometimes, GROUNDS HIMSELF BY TOUCHING HIS BLACK CARD I CANTTT, pheromone city fuck it UP, MC is a MOOD, mutual pining, when u and bae both hire PI’s to get info on each other, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, shirt thing, fucking chuffed about the rival fucking bring it, funny art, cheated on ugh mah heart I saw it coming and it still hurt, pure comedy this airport scene is so funny to me wtf, LDR, good ol murica fuckboi, LOVE HIM RIDE FOR UR MAN/MORALS, liams a little rapey rapist hm? No one’s ever said no… well being flooded with pheromones isn’t consent my dude, istg liam = I love it when they struggle, obvs jealousy/possessive tag but such is ABO, cat suit, BUNNY suit, sexy costumes, god damn it I love them that proposal/mpreg so cute, imprinting AW, ugh baes fam is so cute I needed that bc I wanna strangle wooyoungs dad, THE SECETARY is my fucking fav never stops being A+, SEC+LIAM?? Here for it *i ship it*, FUCK SO CUTE 12/10 re-read, fluff n smut, excited for how to chase an omegaside story hyung needs love!, JINI is mood, sales king I’m dying, that collar is ~hot~ btw

Egoism

Tags: completed (because jesus I can’t with ongoing, theheartbreakTM), UPDATE FML THE HEART BREAK IS REAL also no smut, omegaverse, hey stepbro, starts with rape, possessive/jealousy (isn’t all ABO?), age difference (6years, alpha is younger *can I get hyung plz lord*), HYUNG, woof this dad SUCKS, child abuse, rape culture *sigh*, I wanna get jacked like rick and summer and beat tf out of the dad, me n my cat, TELL EM HONEY I love this MC, traitor indeed, beta x omega btw, fated pair, coercive sex, didi going to be his own demise, BREAKUP/TIME SKIP NO this is BL hell, the rona is mentioned in this, ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR YOUR STORY WAHHHHHHHHHH also YES MY SHIP IS GOING TO SAIL I CAN FEEL IT, okay honestly frustrating a bit but also liked it yah 7-8/10, won’t re-read unless I’m looking for hurt though cause the comfort is BRIEF

Yarichin bitch bu

Tags: ongoing, reading because I watched this anime after seeing it mentioned in the comment section of -im-being-harassed-by-the-sexiest-man-of-the-year, anime was 2 eps a fucking wild the way this is uploaded SUCKS, no reality porn what plot rape-y ridiculous and now I need to read the source apparently haha, I need to know much more about yuri and blue hair guy ASAP (they have the spin off*adds to list*), high school setting, smut, studentsxstudents/teachers, photography club my ass, sex toys, kinky, crossdressing, gay awakening, unrequited love, jealousy, fake relationship, two faced people, OCD, COMEDY, rich people problems, hoarder, inferiority complex, one bed, toono is a dumbass in this love triangle or denial might be a better word, they are cousins my dude stop shipping it (I say to both toono and myself LOL), I wanna see Yuri’s face laksdjf;aldskf, vibrator #18 line is fucking iconic, yaguchi is about to get real interesting (BPD?), lies/manipulation, oh toono you sweet summer child, YURI i can’t wit chu, wait did he just punch the student because he won’t kiss him or???, dubcon/noncon obvs, finally my verse couple but they’re not a couple (yuri/tamu), they all care about each other is a weird way awwww, love confessions to pet vibrator scene are ICONIC MY DUDES I CAN NOTTT, lowkey living for Yuri’s drooling at this point, Jimi gives me such bad second hand embarrassment, Yuri the switch verse bb I’ve been looking for need more!, internalized homophobia, blackmail, MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR YAS KING, the heartbreak of ongoing/hasn’t been updated in years

Yarichin bitch bu dj wa

Tags: not completed I think, years old though, see above you know what it is, so cute omg, FIRST KISS AW, degradation kink?, MY VERSE COUPLE I’ve finally found you, biting, choking, rough sex, sex toys, they had fun together for another two hours DECEASED

Fucked by my Best Friend

Tags: ongoing, friends to lovers, body swap, Porn what plot, cannon threesomes in past maybe??(MFF for sure but MMF??), beach life, revenge, he became a HOT woman so honestly get over it, sloppy seconds, first off you’re both sluts second lmao this is going to be wild hm?, fellas is it gay if you kiss the homies, classic did you cum guy jfc, that’s how you get preg dumbass, ah the joys of being a woman /s assault in der clrub, *DEEP SIGH* @ you almost being raped turns me on, YES TURNING BACK DYING, gender has nothing to do with this LOL but true. Also yes cannon threesomes/orgies, googles frotting, mans like narrating playtime, intecurial sex public sex, lingerie, this is the closest thing to straight manga I’ve read hahaha, THE SCIENCE OMG FUCKING RIDIC :you need a mass amount of semen within you SURE JAN, possessive. Objectification, she trying to fuck without Shion LMAO, 34+35, do you think he’s on r/nofap, dry orgasm honestly impressed with mans rn ngl, spit as lube, anal fingering, just helping the homies find their prostate, bottom shaming (disappointed but not surprised), bis/gays in denial smh, question if he has a wet dream will he turn into a woman?, shirt thing, lol at female orgasm =anal in switcharoos mind, paging doc perv, shion is enjoying dressing up hm? Same dude, biggest reality gap is believing shion got admitted to a college HAHA, bad anatomy all over the place dude, rui is a dedicated exhibitionist, HE SO TIGHT BECAUSE THERES NO LUBE team no lube over here apparently not even a courtesy spit, yandere territory sort of?, Mayu with the dick wet comment is *chefs kiss*, THE HEARTBREAK OF ONGOING WAHHH I can’t believe I read all this but I can? 8/10 problematic possessive porn

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

Dean Winchester x Jeremy Bradshaw ??

Idk if you are asking re my post the other day about Angels or just generally, but just to be transparent Dean's OTP in Angels is Cas and I will not be permitting outsiders.

however, for purposes of um, brainstorming - for you know Science, I mean 10/10 Dean would find Professor Jeremy Bradshaw attractive. Dean THEEEE king of having a thing for authority figures Winchester? Dean 'I like men in uniform,' Dean 'I like doctors' Winchester? And snarky, I'm Always Right Professor Jeremy Bradshaw? (Also I mean. it goes without saying He Is Dean's Type ;)).

Yeah our boy would be A Whole Mess over this man.

However, I'm not entirely certain how Professor Bradshaw would feel about Dean. I can, however imagine the conversation that would ensue...and I wrote it down for you, nonnie - under the cut!

Dean's having a really long day, and it's only 9:00 a.m.

Yeah, he got his four hours last night, but still - hauling ass to school of all places this early in the morning - well, cracking the books at the first sign of the sun's never been one of Dean's favorite things.

But the mysterious disappearances in the Bridgewater Triangle are all over the papers - and according to the Lore (which now apparently comes in the medium of podcast), this isn't the first occurrence of paranormal activity in the area.

So here they are.

Sam's gone to nerd heaven in the university library, leaving Dean stuck talking to their primary witness.

Who happens to be - a professor of fucking folklore? What are the odds?

Dean waits for the stream of students pouring from the open door of the classroom to peter out before he slides inside. The man he's seeking out is still lingering in front of the rows of uncomfortable looking chairs. They're the kind with seats that stick straight up to the ceiling when a posterior isn't weighing them down.

"Jer- um, Professor?" Dean's not sure why he's hesitating, but something about leading with 'Jeremy' seems entirely too familiar for someone he's just met.

Especially when that someone is standing in front of him at a podium of all things, looking like an intriguing mixed bag of business casual blazer and rumpled button down shirt, dark swoops of hair grazing the sides of his face, still messy - as if he couldn't possibly bother with brushing it this morning.

Dean's never been to college but he's starting to think he understands why Sammy won't shut up about his 'time at Stanford.'

The professor is looking at him oddly.

Dean realizes he's literally stopped speaking and they're just standing in the middle of the classroom in stone silence. "Erhm. Dean Winchester. Aquarius," Dean blurts out, feeling a little unhinged.

He suddenly realizes he's given this man his real name as opposed to this week's FBI alias, and now he's going to have to explain why he's here in a suit and quickly-growing-more-uncomfortable tie.

Maybe not though, because the expression staring back at Dean is the epitome of 'I could care less.'

"Jeremy Bradshaw," he says in a melodic timbre, and yeah maybe Dean could sit through a lecture if this dude gave it.

"I don't really subscribe to the idea of the zodiac, so I hope you don't mind if I don't share my birth chart with you," Professor Bradshaw continues. There's a snarky little bite to his syllables that pricks the back of Dean's neck in a funny way. "Pray tell, what can I assist you with other than directions to the astrology department?"

Dean's not sure what he was expecting (maybe some mild mannered dude, dorkier than even Cas?), but it certainly wasn't all...this.

He clears his throat. "My brother Sam and I, we uh. We hunt monsters!"

What is happening to him? Maybe the supernatural creature they're hunting is the professor himself.

Potentially-Monster-of-the-Week-slash-Professor Sexy Bradshaw seems equally confused by Dean's demeanor.

"Monsters aren't real," he says almost gently - the equivalent of a 'there, there' to a recalcitrant child who's inquiring about a candy bar in the grocery checkout line. "Trust me, folklore is my primary field of study."

"Um," Dean continues, feeling suddenly very much like he's shown up for a final exam entirely unprepared. "Well, actually - they are."

This is going great.

Professor Bradshaw frowns a little, and Dean can see by the press of his lips he's starting to lose patience with him. "Mr. Winchester, was it? Listen, I've dealt with enough people who believe the things you do to know minds can't often be changed, but I can genuinely tell you that there's an explanation for anything you may be ascribing to the...paranormal."

He takes the wire-rimmed glasses from his nose, simultaneously pulling a handkerchief out of the pocket of his slacks, and wipes the lenses carefully.

Dean watches his movements like he's in a fever dream.

Dude's gotta be a siren or something.

Professor Bradshaw slides the spectacles back on and purses his lips with a sigh. "If you like, however - I'm always happy to discuss the supernatural in terms of academia. I have the background."

Great. The last thing Dean 'GED and a give-em-hell attitude' Winchester needs right now is to discuss his actual godforsaken job in terms of...academia.

After a moment of collecting himself, Dean decides to go with:

"What is your background, exactly?"

Maybe there's a back door approach here.

He slams down on the next incoming thought prompted by his use of this particular terminology with particularly intense vehemence. If the professor sees Dean squirming, he doesn't comment, replying instead:

"I happen to have a PhD in - "

Dean doesn't even let him finish the sentence. "A PhD? Like a doctorate?"

Professor Bradshaw nods, increasing irritation tensing the lines of his jaw. The toe of his extremely sensible Oxford shoe is starting to tap a little beat on the faded hardwood of the classroom floor.

Dean knows it's not the same as a medical doctorate.

He's aware.

But that doesn't stop him from picturing Doctor-Monster-Professor-Bradshaw sporting a white jacket and scrubs, with a dangling stethoscope replacing the bowtie that's currently perched on his neck.

Professor Bradshaw's eyes are blinking at Dean. They're full of confusion.

He suddenly notices that they are also very, very, very blue.

Yeah - Dean's gonna have a really long day.

[moxfirefly]

For MIKEY with a female companion please?!?!?

59. "How mad would you be if we took a break for pizza rolls?"

47. "I know we're just friends but you're sitting on my lap and I'm so sorry if I get hard."

11. "Sit on my face immediately."

Hello there! Yes I can. Also I’m tagging @annaliaandtheturtles on this too because you basically asked for the same prompts so I hope you don’t mind friend!

Also I’ve been dying to these with my orange boi so let’s get it.

Rated Explicit/Comedy? (18+ only)

This didn’t exactly feel like a very ‘friendly’ thing to do, in fact this isn’t something friends do and while those thoughts did race in your head along with warning bells, you simply ignored it.

Because seriously, friends do not in any way shape or form platonically dry hump each other.

Naturally this evening your plans didn’t exactly consist of this to begin with. Michelangelo had shown up after patrol, looking a little more bruised up than usual and somewhat glum. He’d explained the hiccup during patrol had been partly his fault and he’d gotten the stern big brother(s) talk from all 3 of his eldest siblings.

It wasn’t fun.

Being the baby had its perks but at moments like this is truly annoyed him that at his twenty one years of age he was still being treated like this whenever he messed up. So he knew he could blow off steam with you by just being away from the Lair for the rest of night.

You noticed how affected he was by it all, the usual peppy banter not there and the way he hissed when he moved around his seat spoke of the nights events. So what? You had sat on his lap, side saddle and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. You’d given him your own stern talk, but this one filled with a lot more praise for his skills, wits and strength. His blue orbs had shone, he’d really needed that.

You’d hugged him, he’d hugged back (somewhat shyly wrapping his arms around your midsection) and it had been a nice long embrace. He’d felt your hand rub his shell, he’d rubbed a soft circle on your back.

When you leaned back you gave him a quick, albeit friendly, peck on the lips. Which wasn’t a big deal, right? Of course not, so what Mikey felt his cheeks heat up? And you chuckled nervously because his lips were insanely soft?

Not. A. Big. Deal.

There had been a solid five minutes of silence with Mikey bitting the inside of his cheeks and you adjusting your weight on his lap. He had winced again some what and you feared you’d sat on some bruise. You were about stand up and let him have his reprieve when he kept you there. “Um, uh...” He swallowed, brow ridges raised. “Mikey? You alright th-“ You fixed your posture and he looked away.

“I know we’re just friends but you’re sitting on my lap and I’m so sorry if I get hard” He basically spoke it to the floor, clearly embarrassed of the predicament but more so because you did feel something rather, well hard poking your backside. Your ‘oh’ face was followed by your cheeks heating up, but something inside of you urged you on. A gentle press of your palm to his cheek moved his face back into your line of sight.

And while your brain chanted ‘you’re just friends you’re just friends YOU’RE JUST FRIENDS’ it seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. You had leaned in and kissed him.

It never dawned on you that one simple kiss could lead to such a turn of events:

That included a thorough dry hump session where the chair had started to dangerously creak. By then you had unglued yourself from him but your hands had urged him on to follow, pressed against the table Mikey had kissed you again like a possessed man. Pent up didn’t summarize it, pent up couldn’t exactly explain it. It didn’t explain the tearing of your shirt from your head or your shaking hurried hands untying the jacket around his waist. It didn’t explain you both kissing sloppily towards the living room because the bed felt too far away and Mikey was tripping on kicking off his own shoes.

The laundry list of questions that ran through Mikey’s head were pretty much the same ones you had. Would this ruin the friendship? Were the two of you secretly in love? Was being in love with your best friend a good topic to bring up when you had your hand down said best friend’s shorts?

Mikey moaned, so did you.

Questions could maybe take a back seat for now.

His eyes fell on your chest, desire evident in his pretty blue eyes and so you tore yourself away from him long enough to catch one another’s breathes and unhooked your bra. You’d never seen somebody look equal parts shocked and excited, but there he was a shaking mess as his eyes looked from your chest to your eyes. “Yes for Christ sake have at them” You half laughed and commanded him, Mikey’s ‘right right’ only made you laugh more when he cupped them.

To say he had dreamt about this moment was a true understatement. Getting to do it? Actually holding such soft pieces of flesh, and god they were soft, Mikey felt he should maybe thank god or the closest affiliate. But it still nagged at him that this was all happening with you, with his Brest friend.

His breast friend who has the softest and most beautiful-

Focus man.

“Y/n I know this is like happening but I don’t want us to be weird afterwards because you’re well my bestie dude, and well- this isn’t weird right? We’re good?” You had never seen such a level of concern for somebody literally grabbing a hold of your tits.

This was absolutely bonkers.

“Do you want to stop?” It was firm, you weren’t going to allow whatever exactly this was, cloud your judgement. Mikey’s hands slid from their hold to rest of your waist. He thought, he honest to god pushed all desire away for five excruciating seconds and thought if maybe it was best to discuss this.

It also dawned on him that he was starving.

Impressive how the mind and body work.

Mikey’s gaze landed on yours, “How mad would you be if we took a break for pizza rolls? Just to like get our bearings man, I want to do this but-” How he was doing this while still staring at your boobs was impressive, you shook your head with a smile.

“Look at your being the mature one. I guess we should talk about this first and I wouldn’t mind some pizza rolls” You picked up his jacket, opting for putting that on since it covered most of you, Mikey couldn’t help but feel kinda giddy about that. He also couldn’t help his smile when you grabbed his hand and went back to the kitchen with him in toe.

Having a beautiful girl in nothing but his jacket pulling out two bags of Tostino’s pizza rolls while simultaneously trying to curb your hard on to take a break, was no easy feat for him. “I’ve got five cheese and pepperoni, who am I asking of course you want pepperoni, you want the entire bag?” You were already depositing the entire bag on the tray, going over to turn the oven on (because you knew how he hated when it was microwaved).

Mikey blinked at you.

You were making him pizza rolls, in the oven, you were giving him a Costco size bag all for himself, you were beautiful and absolutely a smokeshow of a woman.

“Holy shit I’m in love with you” It dawned on him so easily and so clearly and so abruptly.

You smiled, he looked so adorably flustered but happy. Mikey being happy due to you had always done that, it had always made you warm and excited. Somewhere along those lines the answer was there, it had just decided to announce itself now.

“I’m in love with you too, I can’t believe it took us nearly fucking” You covered your mouth, laughter bubbling up to the surface, Mikey couldn’t help it too, he started laughing with you. After a few seconds the two of you sighed contended with each other’s confessions.

You walked over towards him and threw your arms around him. Mikey hugged you tightly, your aroma so pleasant and comforting, he was happy it would be on his hoodie for a few days. He liked it even more that he would get to feel you like this, against him all warm and soft.

“Do you maybe wanna try this again and we’ll eat the pizza rolls afterwards?” You asked a little embarrassed by how turned on you still were.

He could have a beautiful girl? He could have pizza rolls with said beautiful girl afterwards? And she liked him back too?

“Sit on my face immediately” He responded without hesitation.