#drug addiction implied

[firedragon1321]

All You Never Wanted (Short Story)

I'm working on a short story collection called Down With This Ship. It's on the back burner, mostly. But the central theme is "forced love". There's dystopias, artificial intelligence, fractured fairy tales, a horrifying deconstruction of The Bachelor (inspired by the hellsite itself) and an early draft for my novel Tick Tick, amongst many other things.

This entry is a second-person experiment. It's One-Sided Male Yandere Human Cartoon Character x Gender Unspecified "Normal" Reader. This is not meant to be romantic, but that's the clearest way I can communicate the content. It's still a little rough, but I wanted to share the draft anyway. It was kicked off by this post I made in the past, though I may revisit the idea again in a more polished form. If there's interest in this, I may post a few more stories from the collection.

Triggers include- yandere, alcoholism (implied by unreliable/yandere narrator), trauma mention, blood, minor character death, implied rape (of reader), bad end

Short Summary- An ordinary human gets together with ordinary friends to watch childhood cartoons. A drunken spat grows out of control. A wish is made- "may my favorite character always be happy". The morning after, the wish leads a poor soul to a new life. There, they meet the monster they created.

Now, now. Don’t  be afraid.

Don’t you recognize me, love?

It’s your old friend Touya. Y’know—from that kid’s anime? The one with the magical transforming monsters? I’m not a cosplayer or a hallucination. Can’t you see my hand? It’s smooth, without imperfections. Feel it. Haha! Does it scare you not to feel fingerprints? Rest assured- I’m real as you are.

I’ve always been here for you…

I’m sure you don’t remember the wish you made. You had a full plate of drunkenness last night, with a side order of high. Do you like poisoning your brain? Does it scare you? Maybe it’s your little friends. I don’t know why you all need drugs to have a good time.

When you have me…

You were watching my cartoon for old time’s sake. Laughing at the corny jokes. Laughing like asses. Hee-haw, hee-haw! Though I can’t blame you for being under the influence of those drugs.

And your stupid friends…you never needed them…

It’s been years since you’ve seen my backstory, but you never forgot it. I remember it, too. But it’s no longer a part of me. It’s all thanks to your wish. 

I owe you so much. I love you so much.

Still don’t remember? Picture this—the cold beer in your hand, your friends laughter like cheese graters, the stench of pot. The screen, in sepia tone, showing my little brother falling out of a tree house. It was because I wasn’t careful. He nearly died because of my negligence. It always bothered you, since

—you always loved me—

I was a child then. How can a little boy be expected to care for a toddler? All I cared about was adventure—the shining sky above, the world like ants below me. I didn’t want to leave my brother behind. I’d get in trouble if he was alone in the house. Yet, I still was the fool. I took the fall. It wounded me forever.

It wounded you too, love.

Your friends said something stupid about over-dramatics. Like every other character didn’t also have problems. They kept their mouths shut on them. But me? It was “going too far for a kid’s cartoon”. It made you furiously angry.

See? You don’t need them…

That’s when you made the wish. It was a challenge, almost. You were egged on by their asinine behavior. They had to stop their dumbass hee-hawing. Seeing me suffer was never a joke, even when you were drugged out of your mind.

Because I was always your favorite.

You wished I never suffered. You wished it never happened. You wished I would always be happy, and the sun would always shine upon me. 

It worked. I’m here, aren’t I?

You said a lot of other things, too. Many of them were angry. Your friends called you a baby. You never took well to insults. The drugs didn’t help. A few fists flew. A glass or two broke. One donkey hit the coffee table. He didn’t die, but there was a lot of blood. That’s when the others got scared. They scattered from your house, back to the pasture.

I think it was worth it—don’t you?

So here we are, in your bedroom. The posters of me—hand-drawn or official—are missing. All the toys on your shelves are gone. Your wish whisked me out of your room. It purged me from your life. I’m a puppet that danced on your screen as a child- no more, no less.

But you still remember me, don’t you?

I was always worried—about my brother, about other people. I longed to prevent that kind of suffering. My pain turned to love, my love to courage. That was what you envied most about me—courage. You craved it like a fetish. Without beer, there’s not a brave bone in your body. People like you long for a sip of valor. It’s pathetic, isn’t it?

And because of that, no-one loves you but me.

If not for my trauma, I wouldn’t be brave. Without my courageous heroics, you were never enthralled by me in grade school. You never carried me through your life. In rewriting my life, you rewrote your own life. But I still clung to your nostalgic memories.

You love me too, don’t you?

So here we are—in a bedroom with drab adult decor. You don’t know those smelly donkeys. You’ve never touched a single drug. Life is better, but not grand. You’re an office worker someplace. You go to work, clack on the keys, and go home. Only your boss and your parents know your name. You’re a blank face in the crowd. No-one knows you. No-one loves you.

No-one but me.

At least your wish worked for me. I have everything I could have ever wanted. One night, I dreamed of you—a shining star. I saw your little shit-show. Then, a gentle, maternal voice told me that I would be reborn. I would recall the dream, and my past life. I would remember you. But I would wake as a small child, ready to do my life over.

I’m eternally grateful.

I encountered no obstacles before the first episode began. The old me had to struggle to lead the team. I floundered for episode after episode, like a fish gasping for breath. But after your wish, I have no such issues. I lead with power, not courage. 

That is still appealing to you, isn’t it?

I killed that annoying bitch who told me I was being too harsh. I smashed her head against a log. It made me think of your donkey-friend. Hee-haw! Hee-haw! 

You were on my mind the whole time.

But that’s only the beginning. My rival? Monster chow. That one kid who worried about everything? Unfortunate accident. The others scrambled to find the monster who did it. They never checked the boy in front of them.

I did it all for you.

But there was one thing I still wanted. I made myself king. It was easy. The world was too scared to say no. My monster kept them all in line. The world saw what my creature of death could do. Every villain was torn to bloody shreds by his fangs. The goody-two-shoes were as grateful as they were afraid. All I had to do was ask, and the crown was mine. 

Doesn’t every king deserve a consort at his side? 

I couldn’t marry you as a child, though I had longed to. Luckily, my creators made me older, season by season. So I waited until I grew up. 

Then it was time for us to finally be together.

I went to the heart of my magical world. There, I slaughtered the great guardian of time and space. I still remember his blood on my hands, like gooey stardust. The barrier between worlds that he guarded became mine. I left several monster slaves there, to ward off any nosy donkeys. Then, I came here, to your world, to bring you back to mine.

We were always meant to be together.

You sweat like a pig with a knife pressed to its neck. Don’t be afraid. It won’t be so bad. You’ll finally be something. Haven’t you always wished for that? You may be a coward, but I still love you.

It’s the reason I love you.

Here—feel my chest. These are the velvety robes you gave me. I’ll give you a matching set—a thousand times more beautiful. I’ll give you the sun, the moon, the stars—whatever you wish. You won’t be able to leave my side. But you won’t want to.

I love you so much.

A weak word creeps from your lips—“no”. This isn’t what you wanted? Too bad. This is exactly what you wished for. It’s everything you ever wanted. After one night, you’ll remember how much you love me.

Even if I have to force you.

The portal won’t stay open forever. My time runs low. Good thing you’re easy to carry. Is that fear making you immobile? Your skin is like ice. Your blood is frozen syrup. Ironic—by defending courage, you plunged into further cowardice. But you must still love me. I’ll just have to remind you. After one night, you’ll never want to leave my side again.

We’ll be together—forever.

[sofiabix]

I feel like this sums up my ed

[fudgecake-charlie]

to my IRL(s) who keeps sending me disco elysium memes despite the fact i haven't played it in months THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU. HELP ME. If people have ideas on this AU feel free to have fun with it considering I. have only a few!

[aftgficrec]

Hii ! Any fics where Neil reacts to Wymack subconsciously like he did the first time (flinching/afraid)? Preferably post canon but can also be AUs. Thank you!!

General asks like this can be difficult to search for, but here’s what we found for you. -A

canon divergent longer fics:

‘Hope Was A Dangerous, Disquieting Thing’ here

‘Up On The Roof’ here (soulmates, updated)

‘Pebble Brain’ here

‘Yes, Coach’ here 

‘Neil Josten's No Good Terrible Luck’ here (updated)

‘Take my Kidney. Take my Life.’ here

‘Deals With Devils’ and ‘Not Yours To Bleed’ here (both updated)

short au:

‘The Rabbit Becomes the Fox’ here 

kid fics with dadmack:

‘ten children, one acquarium’ and ‘For little monsters with fragile hearts’ here ‘slow down (you crazy child)’ and ‘Make a Home’ (updated) here ‘Raised on Little Light’ here (completed)

you may also like:

Mary & Nathan's impact on Neil here

Neil goes to therapy here 

post canon:

I Wish I Were Fine, I Thought I Was by pawnofkings [Not Rated, 2509 Words, Complete, 2020]

“Ow, shit!” Wymack exclaims, retracting his arm. There's a slight burn on his skin. Neil stands, frozen, feeling like time itself has stopped. But if it had, then Wymack wouldn’t be moving in his direction and - The pan clatters to the floor, and Neil is several feet away before he realizes he’s moved at all. But suddenly, he’s half-lying on the floor. He stares at his arms, thrown up in front of him as if to protect him, and on the other side of them is Wymack, looking down at him as if he’s just seen somebody die. --- Or: a Fox family dinner goes awry, and Neil struggles to come to terms with his own instincts.

tw: violent flashbacks, tw: child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: ptsd

How to Disappear Completely by miauhito [Rated M, 4850 Words, Complete, 2024]

“I nearly cut myself,” He cries, looking down at the floor, “I’m scared, please. I’ve been hurting myself, with cigarettes and getting bruises and fuck I don't know what to do.” He croaks out. He tries to stop himself, but he can't, not anymore. 5 times Neil Josten hurts himself + 1 time he asks for help.

tw: self harm, tw: blood, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: ptsd, tw: hallucinations

canon divergent:

The Wonder of You by KatherineF [Rated G, (we say T), 3872 Words, Complete, 2020]

Previously recced here

Neil is in complete denial that he is struggling with panic attacks. Andrew thinks it would be a good idea to get a support animal. They figure it out together.

tw: ptsd, tw: panic attacks

You Try Until You Can't by AliceTabitha [Rated T, 3129 Words, Complete, 2018]

Previously recced here

Neil knew before he opened his eyes that this wasn’t going to be a good day. Neil Josten has survived everything thrown at him, and he has countless scars to prove it. After all that, it's not unusual for his days to turn sour, but at least he's got Andrew and his team to help pull him back together in the end. With extra support and advice from Wymack, maybe things might somehow end up alright. For today, he just needs to keep surviving.

tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced violence

piece by piece, he restored my faith (that a man can be kind and a father could stay) by kal25 [Rated T, 2337 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2024]

Previously recced here

David Wymack did not raise kids, but he did raise his Foxes. Each one of them, whether they were past, present, or even future, will always have a place in his heart. He understood what it meant to be beaten by a man you called your father, to feel fear and hatred and another dozen emotions all at once. He understood what it felt like for guilt to eat you alive about things that never should have been wrong, and he understood what it meant to not have a place to call home. And he swore, when he became a coach, that he would create a home. He would build one from the ground up with his own two hands, and he would invite every single child who chased Exy like a beacon of hope and had no other place to call home—because that’s what he wished someone would have done for him.

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

and more than a few bleed into you by brekker [Rated T, 4475 Words, Complete, 2018]

Previously recced here

Neil doesn’t know if this is considered protection or insight because Andrew has always been the quicker of the two to know that these moments are transient and Neil will wake up half a country away and want to come back home when this fear and ache to flee settles back down; either before or after he gets himself hurt. It might be one in the same if Neil thinks about it. It reminds Neil of that thing Renee had said once: This, too, shall pass.

tw: nightmares, tw: depression, tw: implied/referenced torture

Hold Each Other by exactly13percent_OLD (hymbeaux) [Rated E, Collection, Complete, 2018]

Chapter 15: I for an Eye [Rated T, 2544 Words] Previously recced here

Neil has his bad memories. He's managed to keep most of them down, but some start slipping out. It's a good thing he's learning how to make new ones.

tw: ptsd, tw: blood, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced nonconsensual kiss

spirits of martyrdom by sagely_enchanted [Rated T, 6416 Words, Complete, AFTG Fall Exchange 2024]

Neil is pretty sure that he’s drowning, a phantom feeling of a washcloth and water rushing over his head as he stares into the never ending hazel. The blonde of his hair is so bright that it nearly blinds him when compared to the dark of the dorm. He squeezes his eyes shut tightly, willing the image to disappear when he opens his eyes next, but Andrew is still there. - Andrew gets released early from Easthaven and finds Neil at Evermore.

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: anxiety, tw: major character injury

till my breathing stops. by plugastwo [Rated E, 94304 Words, Incomplete, Updated Jan 2025]

Neil Josten was a psycho. Foxes knew it. Wymack knew it. Everyone knew it. He and his manic grin were the definition of psychotic. Andrew liked to think, that it was pretty amusing.  ___ where it’s Neil, who takes drugs.

tw: nonconsensual medication, tw: drug addiction, tw: vomit, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: nonconsensual kissing, tw: medical abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: violence 

canon divergent a/b/o:

just tonight (i won't leave) by pyruismagician [Rated E, 116319 Words, Incomplete, Updated Oct 2024]

"I told you I don't belong to anyone." "And I told you to quit lying to me, or did you come here to explain why you're pretending to be a beta?" Or Neil just wants to play Exy before he dies but the world has other ideas.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: child abuse, tw: animal abuse, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: recreational drug use, tw: homophobia, tw: medication addiction, tw: vomit, tw: violence

raven!neil au:

hoping, until the day it dies by infernalstars [Rated M, 27481 Words, Incomplete, Updated Jan 2025]

Nathaniel Wesninski ends up in the hospital with two broken legs. Cast out of the Nest, Kevin Day brings him to the Foxes to recover - emotionally and physically.

tw: self harm, tw: blood, tw: dissociation, tw: flashbacks, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: ptsd, tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks, tw: vomit, tw: psychotic episode, tw: homophobia, tw: suicidal ideation

one where Andrew flinches from coach:

What Is It To Truly Lose Control? by BisexualChaosDemon [Rated M, 21281 Words, Complete, 2024]

Most of the Foxes still think Andrew is a monster, or a sociopath, but Neil knows better. He knows that Andrew cares deeply about a handful of people but struggles more than he will ever admit with that fact. The thing is, despite Andrew’s commitment to apathy and to denying that he cares about anything, he is often self-sacrificing in his efforts to protect the people he cares about. As Aaron’s trial approaches, Neil gets the sick feeling that Andrew’s self-sacrificing streak is going too far.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: psychiatric abuse, tw: implied/referenced trauma reenactment, tw: ptsd

Art

THE RUNAWAY art by @coppakee

Poor boy with his precious bag art by @/tryashaa on instagram 

Neil Josten art by @estrophysics

Second Chances, vol. II: Runaways eye shadow palette edit by @mistyyed

[zarasaurus-studios]

addict

[icethinggigachad]

(To preface this fiddleford is my favorite character and I love him so when I talk abt this im not doing this to go omg hes the worst character and I hate him. Nah I love him and his moral ambiguity.)

CW for mentions of addiction (that come along with talking about the memory gun)

Hello. This is crazy if the memory gun is an addiction metaphor is this like a drug deal or the equivalent of meeting some kid and going "hey buddy, you have trauma? Omg, me too. How about using the thing I'm addicted to so you don't have to remember it?"

Like replacing the memory gun with literally anything makes this sound so much worse.

When the society of the blind eye was erased from Blind Ivan's memory it's possible he couldnt remember who he was because the society of the blind eye was who he was.

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Hunter (Corporate AU)

- one of Rex's personal bodyguards

- chronically lonely

- slightly more socially adjusted but still treated like shit

(more lore under the cut, cw for themes of drug use/addiction)

- Hunter's childhood years/teens are mostly unchanged here, but instead of bouncing directly to organized crime after gang #3, he ends up alone for some time

- no friends, plenty of enemies, and in a really bad mental place, Hunter started taking one-off jobs as a drug mule to stay afloat. One job resulted in him getting paid with the product he was running, and at that point he was close enough to rock bottom that he said what the hell

- this started a destructive eleven-month cycle of him saying "never again", fighting with himself about it, and then having a shit day and cracking. The periods of self-argument got shorter and shorter with each time he caved

- he met Rex outside a bar purely coincidentally. They wound up having a one-night-stand (Hunter just wanted to sleep somewhere warm)

- later, Rex found him passed out in an alley and called an ambulance for him. In the hospital, he offered to pay the bill if Hunter came to work for him

- he made him get clean before officially taking the job (one of the only decent things he's done). Since then, Hunter's taken up nicotine and drinking as a legal substitution

- Rex isn't the most moral CEO. His bodyguards are there to protect him, yes, but they also act as enforcers and collectors

- he saved Hunter mostly for selfish reasons. He got rebuffed during their first encounter and liked the idea of taking back that control. Plus, having a guard dog who owed him everything sounded very appealing

- anyways my skrunkly boy looks cute all dressed up

[paingoes]

Destroyer - MK

(Masterlist)

they were doing some MK ultra shit to delta im ngl

(Content: medical whump, drugging, dissociation, living weapon whumpee, begging, needles, addiction implied)

Lights and colors. It was all dreamy in the void. How long had he been there? The question made no sense. He was always here. Always had been. Something milk white and slimy nuzzled up against his leg.

“Attention, Control. You’re drifting off again.” A voice cut through the noise. He hadn’t noticed the noise just until the voice had cut through it. What did it sound like? Water on rocks. A rainstorm heard from the inside of a tin chest. Mewling. Drool dripping. 

Something pricked at his forehead. He gasped.

“Tighten up.”

He nodded weakly. For a moment, he was back in the office. The faces surrounding him were blurry and tame. His body was nowhere, but his wrists were bound. A thin line of fire worked its way around his neck. Then the office was gone and so was he. Light and colors.

The sharp tip of a blade rose out of the water, held aloft by a hand whose flesh was slipping off of it. The skin debris dripped down into the lake. It floated there like broth that needed to be skimmed. Disgust rose up in his stomach. Had it been full, he thought it might empty itself. He’d have to have a body for that, though.

Pain replaced everything. He couldn’t tell the source of it. He couldn’t tell where it ended and began. 

Inside of you, something said. It’s inside. Get it out. 

He whimpered. From somewhere far away, someone sighed in disgust.

“Delta. One-oh-seven. Enough. Follow the rabbit.”

The instruction was only vaguely familiar. It was coming to him so slow this time. A sine wave hit him directly in the side of his head. It hurt. Abstract concepts soared over the pit he’d carved out for himself. He was helplessly lost. He was scared. Not how he usually was. It was otherworldly.

A snake bit his ankle. It winded and winded.

“Simon?” He called weakly.

Pain, sharp and hot.

“Dr.Leach isn’t here. And you are not to call him that.” 

He felt the firm grip on his face, but couldn’t see it. His vision was dislocated somehow. He did not know what he was seeing instead. It wasn’t nothing. 

The dragon had two tails. He made out the shape on its side.

“Yellow,” he managed, “Yellow, four-sided, decimal. Cobra. Holly.”

“Designation?”

“MK. Omega. Ow. Fucking ow.” 

He felt a hand come down hard against his cheek. He’d just been slapped. Even in his drugged state, he knew that that wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t procedure. He knew Dr.Martino hated him. Really hated him. It didn’t come as a shock everytime he remembered — but the slap had. He made a soft, choked noise. The drugs made the pain feel more intense; they didn’t numb it, like he hoped they would. Weren’t they supposed to?

“Again.”

Something electric and circuitous played against the flesh of his bound hand. The vision shifted.

“Threat level magenta,” he choked, “Seven. Spades. Diamondback. Juniper.”

“Juniper?”

“Pike,” he corrected. “Please make it stop.”

“You know better than to ask,” The doctor said. Something sharp. He couldn’t tell if it was a punishment for having begged or if it was just part of the procedure. They drew no distinction, expecting him to take either complacently. It burned against the inside of his skin.

“Again.”

========

When the drug finally wore off, he was shaking so badly that the chains binding his wrists rattled softly and continuously. He’d been bound up for too long, too tightly. His shoulders and knees ached from the pressure. All the spots on the body where the needle had jabbed him bled through the bandages. There was a dull and constant ache all throughout his body that heightened at each injection site. He tried desperately to subdue his crying, but the tears flowed freely and undisturbed. He couldn’t even roll his shoulder enough to wipe them.

Dr.Martino went about his business like he wasn’t even there. There was no reason for him to still be bound, to still be kept kneeling. The experiment was over. It had ended thirty minutes ago. He didn’t voice this, sure that if he did Martino would make a point to keep him there longer. He tried to readjust his position to relieve the tension. Nothing worked. He just wanted to sleep.

“That was pathetic,” Dr.Martino finally addressed him. Delta cringed. He still didn’t move to free him, which was all Delta could really focus on in the moment.

“Needless to say, I don’t think the Cytopline is a good match. We’ll run a few retrials with different dosages to be sure, but I’m not confident it’ll be to any greater effect.”

Delta tried not to cry again. He thought he meant today. He just needed a break before they started again, just a few minutes to get out of position. He wouldn’t be able to handle going under again.

“There’ll be a bit of a cooldown period before it becomes effective again. You might be inoperable the next few days,” the doctor clarified, much to his relief.

“I can write you a note, if you want.” 

========

Delta laid numbly on the floor of his bedroom, in the same position he’d been in for hours. The blanket was a tangled mess around him. He didn’t know exactly what time it was, just that it was well past when he was supposed to have risen. He drifted in and out of consciousness. There was a sudden banging at the door.

“You know you’re not allowed to quit, right?” Paris called from the other side of it. Delta closed his eyes. 

He was sure that Dr.Martino hadn’t told him on purpose. The unexplained absence would put Paris in a bad mood off the gate, make him totally unwilling to listen once Delta was forced to explain, and Paris was by no means obligated to comply in the first place. The excuse wouldn’t count for anything. He’d still be forced out into the field. He’d probably still be punished just for trying to get out of it. It was such an underhanded move. Delta resented whenever the doctor called him sneaky; if anything, he had learned it from him.

He braced himself up on one elbow, getting ready to open the door, when Paris opened it himself. Right. Not like it had a lock. Delta collapsed back. That was fine. He hated having anyone in his space, but he also didn’t think he’d be able to walk in a straight line all the way to the door.

 But Paris’s anger was always so visibly telegraphed that its absence was immediately obvious. If anything, he was annoyingly chipper. He had one hand pressed up against the top of the doorframe, leaning casually in the entrance. The end of a nicotine lollipop hung off to the side of his mouth. He let himself into the room.

Delta adjusted roughly, just barely pulling himself upright into a kneel. He was already on the floor, so that helped. His hair fell messily in his face. He reached one arm behind him, feeling around clumsily for the doctor’s note on the desk. He offered it up with one hand. 

Paris took it. He read it over slowly, trying to make out the nearly indecipherable doctor’s handwriting. Somehow he managed.

“Oh shit. Comedown?” Paris popped the candy out of his mouth.

“Yes, sir.” Delta stopped himself from rolling his eyes. It was technically true, but he would never call it that.

Paris winced in sympathy, giving Delta some indication of just how pathetic he must have looked. He glanced at the note again. His eyes hovered on the medication name.

“…Do you have any more?”

Delta pulled the pill bottle out from his desk drawer, tossing them over. He was glad to be rid of them. Paris caught them in one hand, letting the note drift back to the ground.

“Take oxitriptan,” he called over his shoulder. He slid the pills into his pants pocket and disappeared out the door. Delta collapsed back against the crumpled blanket. He wasn’t going to take anything. He was pretty content to just lay there. He pulled the blanket over his face, not sleeping, nor moving.

…………

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Man.... I can't stop thinking about Pac and the Risus Pill arc

Pac saying he took the pills because he didn't have any other choice, he was so hopeless he wants to take them until he doesn't remember anything

Pac saying "At least I’m not crying in some random corner in the Island expecting my friends to come save me, and nobody comes save me"

And then the thing he said immediately before that: "I lost my friend, I lost my friend’s friend, I lost my Egg, I lost my child, I lost everything, I'm– I was completely hopeless– so yeah, maybe I wanna be drugged and live my miserable but happy life. At least I’m not in that saddest place anymore."

The blood at Chume Labs

The three graves at Chume Labs

The message he wrote to Cellbit asking Cellbit to kill him if things got too bad, then changing it and saying "lock me up" instead.

The conversation with Fit, Fit pleading with him, and Pac saying "I don’t want to go back to that bad and sad place."

Pac, despite his grief and depression, finding an antidote and saving himself (with the help of his friends)

Literally everything from the Risus Pill arc makes me so heartbroken

[helluvabossrewrite45]

Hazbin Hotel Rewrite; Opening up at the Bar

From what I seen from hh with how it handles sa topics, it's very...questionable. Now the show hasn't still come out yet so I won't go into detail about it, but with how they use the song 'poison' and behind the scenes of it (viv making a sex joke as marketing the song and the lead storyboard shipping val x angel despite what it's meant to portray in canon) makes it understandable for people to critque the show's portrayal of it. So for here, I want to approach Angel's truama as respectfully as I can with Angel opening up to Husk as it seems to be the same episode where both of them improve their relationship. I hope I'm able to address sa well because I know it's a very delicate topic that shouldn't be written lightly (especially for truama responses like hypersexuality) so if you have any problems with how I written it and how I should change it, please let me know. I will rewrite it until I portray this topic properly and credit you for your critque/help (unless you don't want to)

Content Warning; SA and mention of drug/alcohol addiction

A bar full of bottles and boozes sitting there in windless silence, aching for their next customer. Its emptiness is numbing, the stranded desert of this hotel. Husk, tapping his fingers in rhythm, halts it as though the ticking of a clock stops and sighs in relief, grateful that his work is now done. He takes a bottle of booze, fulfilling its fate as he opens the lid to drain it all down, until he hears the door creaking. 

He groans “Oh it’s you,” as Angel Dust drags himself towards the bar, collapsing his face to the poseur table. “What do you want now? Bar’s gonna close soon. So hurry up.” 

Angel’s face tilts up. “A drink, please.” His voice is soft yet hoarse.

Husk rolls his eyes, wishing for that sweet graveness to enter this bar once again. He goes through his bottles. “Which one?” He asks with a hostile glare.

“Any.”

Angel Dust slowly lifts himself up from the table, staring in discomfort at Husk grabbing a random bottle from his shelf, a sense of dread lingers onto him. 

“Husk…” His voice grows quiet.

“What?”

“I’m…sorry.” His eyes not meeting Husk’s gaze. 

“For what?” He responds snappily, placing one hand to his hip.

“For earlier…” Angel answers, his eyes still refusing to see Husks. “For saying and doing all those weird things to you, I'm sorry.”

His grouchy face still remains. “Whatever,” firmly placing the bottle to the table and swishing it towards Angel. “Don’t do that again.”

“Yeah,” his body tenses, “I hope so…”

Husk brows raised. “Hope so? What do you mean?”

The question hangs on as Angel Dust fiddles their hands, looking down at the wooden dry floor. The room has been fogged in silence as Husk finds himself repeatedly tapping his fingers, wondering when the clock will finally end its grating tick. 

“Well…” His voice quivers, tracing his eyes back to Husks. “I don’t know…”

Husk’s face turned puzzled. “The hell you mean you don't know?!” 

“I-” Angel pauses himself for a moment, “I don't know. I just don’t know.” His face bangs on the table as his arms come to cover.

“Ah well, might just be a you problem then.” He cackles at his own joke, with hollow applause. 

Angel huffs, “That’s what you all think.” His voice became more irritated. 

Husk’s laughter abrupt into cold stillness, his voice freezes with the rest of his body. 

Angel continues, “All of you think i’m just some dirty sex pest, huh? A running sex joke?” Anger starts to rise through his voice, “Even Charlie thinks what I do is just who I am- like I chose this!” He cuts himself off, facing down to the lifeless floor again. “Like I chose this…”

Husk words vanished, his voice having trouble coming out of his mouth. All he could do is stand there, watching Angel Dust ponder through his thoughts. 

“You know I don’t actually like being sexual twenty-four seven? Crazy right?” He formed a smile, though not by sweetness, but by bitterness. “I don’t actually like making endless sex jokes or dirty talk, I don’t actually like to constantly fantasise or masturbate or sleep around with a bunch of nobodies,” bitterness starts to spread through his voice, “and I especially don’t like working in that place!” He holds his breath, exhaling to serene air. “But I do it anyway, no matter how hard I try.” His finger scratched the table harshly with a melancholic frown. “I don’t know what is wrong with me, I didn’t used to be like this, it was only after-” Angel cuts himself off as his body starts trembling. He places a heart on his hand, feeling the rapid sounds of his heartbeat. “After…” He slows himself, unable to muster anything else to speak of. 

His eyes lift to Husk, seeing the statue that he became, his widened pupils not even taking one blink. Angel’s face rose with worry, “Oh uh…sorry.” He murmurs. “Sorry, I’ll just take the booze or-”

“Go on.” Husk's voice comes back again.

“W-what?” He quivers, taken aback by what he heard.

“Go on…” Husk's voice trails off, still a statue of himself.

Angel Dust pursed his lips, facing down once more. “There was a time back then, when I sneaked into a bar for some alcohol, the thing that helped me most when I was alive. There was a really fancy bottle, porcelain white shimmering with bubbles, I couldn’t help myself. I had to have it. Then he caught me, I thought he would kill me. Instead, he made a deal; that if I work in his business, I won’t need to steal anything or even need a place to stay…” He breaks off, his fingers scraping themselves to a shell. “So I worked as one of his sex workers; a stripper for his bars, an actor for his films, anything to do with sex, really. It wasn’t what I was always interested in, but it felt…better? Being more open and honest about myself that I never got to do on earth. That is, until I came back to his home…He told me he wanted to show me something, my ‘reward’...” He holds back on his words, wrapping his arms around in a warm embrace. “After that, I…I don't know, I guess that’s where I started becoming more sexual. It’s like a switch where my mind now constantly thinks about sex, even if it’s not what I want. It’s my poison.” He holds onto his words again, reflecting his thoughts. “Maybe it’s a way of control, to take back what he did to me, not letting him hurt me…but is it any good if you can’t control it yourself?” He finds himself eyeing at the bottle of toxicated liquid. “That’s why I came here, I couldn’t find any drugs. So alcohol will just have to do.”

Husk exhales a quiet breath, with Angel’s words stalling through his mind. He saw Angel reaching for the bottle. “Wait!” He alerts, taking the bottle before Angel could have the chance. Angel looks at him, confound. “Why?” Husk fell silent, wavering on his memory like a lightning struck in a bottle. He places the bottle back to its fateless place and starts rummaging through the tea bags until one reads ‘Black Caravan Tea’. He places the tea bag in a muggy cup and clicks the kettle to brew. Minutes go by as the kettle finally makes its thump, breaking Husks trance as he pours the steamy water onto the cup and gently pushes it over to Angel. “Here” He says softly. “Careful, it’s hot.” Angel slowly directs his eyes to the hot tea, then back to Husk, his mouth making a quiet gasp. “I know it’s not much,” He adds. “But for you, I hope it can be enough.”

Angel dust calmly blows the steam off his tea and takes a sip, warm smoky sweetness filling his mouth in peaceful bliss. He continues sipping it at a slow pace, enjoying each moment with him and his magical tea, transforming his mind to ocean waves, hearing its soothing whooshes and the pleasant echoes of bird’s chirping. After taking one last sip, he notices Husk with his own muggy cup, cooling off the steam before slurping down the whole tea to an empty cup. His grouchy face disappeared, replacing it with a genial smile; friendly and relaxed. Like warming his face with radiant golden sunlight. 

“What’s this?” Angel asks as soon as Husk tastes his last drop.

“Black Caravan.” Husk replies, licking his lips. “My Babushka always makes this tea, saying ‘If you get upset, don’t waste your mouth with vodka, relish it with Caravan.’” He glimpses away from Angel dust, shining a little star in his eyes before glaring at the shelves of bottles and boozes. “Heh, no wonder I hadn’t remembered…” 

Angel snickers. “My Nonno says something similar. He said; ‘You don’t stuff your mouth with alcohol, you stuff it with Frittelie!’” They both chuckle with each other, reminiscing of their old lives before the room went to silence. Both eyes looking away from each other as Angel proceeds to fiddle with his hands and Husk tapping his table, now only slow and with no rhythm. A clock’s final strikes till midnight. “You know,” He spoke solemnly. “After you're done with work and all, instead of finding drugs, you can come straight here to talk or have some tea. Either one or both to get off some steam.” 

Angel glances back to Husk’s sentimental gaze, his eyes lit up. “You’ll…You’ll do that?”

“Yeah.” He responds, keeping his gaze to Angel Dusts. “I’d do. For you…”

Their eyes locked in their gazes, their beating hearts twined to one another. Angel’s eyes turn away from the burning faint shades of pink of his face, looking steadily at the cup. “Yeah,” a small line shaped to a tender smile, “I’d like that.”

[pastelwitchling]

Hi

Thanks for all the amazing Malex stories.

Could you possibly write about Michael and Kyle being worried about that Alex is taking too many painkillers? Thanks.

This prompt actually inspired me to do a two-parter, so that's what I'm going to do 🫣

Part 1/2

***

“I don’t how comfortable I am with this,” Michael said, arms crossed and shoulder leaning against the archway into the kitchen.

Alex had his back to him as he fixed up the plate of snacks for movie night, but Michael could hear the amusement in his voice when he said, “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

His shoulders fell. “I’m serious, Alex. This is our movie night, why does Valenti have to be here?”

“Uh, technically,” Kyle called from the living room, “Alex and I were doing movie night way before you guys got together, so you’re the only trespasser here, Guerin!”

Michael pointed into the hallway, eyes narrowed at Alex. “In my own home.”

“Oh, brother,” Alex chuckled, glancing at Michael over his shoulder. “Baby, why don’t you go pick the movie, okay? It could be whatever you want.”

“You’re just trying to get rid of me, aren’t you?”

“Never,” he said easily with a shrug. “You’re my heart and soul. My lifeline.”

“Okay –”

“My never-ending fairytale.”

“I get it,” he said, trying not to smile.

“My hunky alien hubby.”

“I’m going!”

Alex was still calling adoring nicknames after him as he entered the living room, shaking his head and fighting his own laugh, when he saw Kyle sorting through the DVDs, and he sighed, all joy in the world gone.

“Alex said I can pick what movie we’re watching.”

“Oh?” Kyle said without turning around. “Is that what it took to get you to stop moping?”

Michael mimicked him with a much whinier voice, and Kyle slowly looked over his shoulder at him. “Real mature there, cowboy.”

Michael mimicked that too, and snatched the DVDs out of Kyle’s hands.

“We should watch A New Hope,” Kyle said.

“Should we?” Michael said innocently. “Too bad I’m picking then, huh?”

Kyle shook his head, eyes shut like he was making a gallant effort not to throttle his best friend’s husband. “You know Alex’s leg has been killing him lately, and Star Wars makes him feel better.”

Michael softened. He hated when Kyle was right, he hated when Alex was in pain, but most of all, he hated that Kyle had brought it up at all when it should’ve been Michael who’d suggested it first.

“I was going to choose Star Wars anyway,” he sulked, and Kyle looked like he was counting to ten. Now that he was thinking of Alex’s leg though . . . “I’m going to give him his medication. It’s around that time anyway.”

“I can grab ‘em,” Kyle offered, “you get the movie started. Where are his painkillers?”

“How ‘bout I get my husband his painkillers, and you start the movie?”

“Just tell me where they are, Michael!”

Michael took his time setting the DVD player down and waltzing over to the little drawer beside the couch. He heard Kyle stand behind him, heard him sigh as he stretched, and then –

“What the hell are those?”

Michael raised a brow. “Alex’s painkillers?”

Kyle nudged Michael aside, picking up orange bottle after orange bottle. To Michael’s surprise, he was frowning.

“Why are there so many?”

Michael’s brows furrowed. “Because he’s in pain a lot?” When Kyle didn’t respond, instead checking every bottle and its expiration date, he faltered. “What’s wrong?”

“There shouldn’t be this many,” he murmured. “He doesn’t need more than one or two, I’m counting six here.” He shook his head, and Michael had the feeling he was talking to himself when he said, “What the hell’s he doing, taking all of these?”

“C’mon,” Michael chuckled, uncertain. “They’re probably all for different things –”

“Michael, I’m a doctor,” he reminded him. The fact that he was using Michael’s first name was a little more than concerning. “These are all the same prescriptions. He shouldn’t have this many.” He bit his lower lip as he examined the bottles again. “And we have a bigger problem.”

“Which is what?” Michael scanned the bottles again, trying to see what Kyle was seeing.

“They’ve all been opened,” he said grimly. “So –”

“He’s been taking all this medication at once,” Michael finished, and slumped to the ground. He picked up a bottle, examining it. He’d handed Alex these pills himself, and often. He’d never given the number of bottles a second thought. “What the hell?”

“Okay,” a voice sounded inside, and Alex came walking out with a tray of popcorn, pretzels, sandwiches, and chips. “What’re we watching?”

Michael had half a mind to hold up Alex’s bottle and demand an explanation, but Kyle was already shutting the drawer and pushing himself to his feet.

“A New Hope,” he cleared his throat, and smiled. “Your husband knows you better than I thought he did.”

“Really?” Alex smiled, excited. “Not gonna lie, I was hoping for Star Wars. Thanks, baby,” he kissed the top of Michael’s head. “I’m so lucky to have you.” He faltered at the look on Michael’s face. “Michael? What’s wrong?”

Michael opened his mouth to tell Alex what was wrong, to beg to know why he hadn’t told him how many pills he’d been taking, to look him up and down for injuries and make sure that medication hadn’t been leaving a permanent mark on him. But Kyle was standing right behind Alex, subtly shaking his head, and damn it all, he knew more about this stuff than Michael did. Something was clearly wrong with Alex, how could he not listen?

“I get to sit between you guys,” he finally said. “You’re not cuddling up to anybody else.”

Alex chuckled, relieved. “You got it, baby, I’ll cuddle up to you all night. Let me just get the drinks, and we can start the movie.”

He set the tray down on the coffee table and went inside. The second he was out of earshot, Michael demanded, “Why’d you stop me?”

“I’ve seen this before, okay?” Kyle said in a rushed whisper. “The second you confront someone about abusing their medication, they get defensive and start to lie. We have to know what’s really going on here, Guerin, we can’t risk Alex shutting us out, not on this.”

Michael swallowed, starting to get nervous. If Alex had a problem with pills, and he hadn’t noticed this whole time . . . if Alex had been slowly killing himself, and Michael had willingly put the damn things in his hands . . .

“Hey, hey,” Kyle put a hand on his shoulder, eyes intent. “It’s going to be okay, okay? Alex is the strongest person I know, I’m sure there’s more to this story. But whatever it is, we have to approach it carefully. For Alex.”

“For Alex,” he repeated, hands balled into fists and trying not to panic. Not until Alex was back in the living room with three bottles of beer, not until he was in Michael’s line of sight and smiling and seemingly fine did the knot of tension in Michael’s stomach loosen. He sat on the couch while Kyle took the armchair, and held out his arms.

“C’mere,” he said, and Alex complied easily, taking off his prosthetic and wincing despite himself.

Michael shouldn’t have said it, but he wanted to see how Alex would react. “You need your pills?”

Alex looked like he was going to say he did, but he glanced at Kyle and plastered a smile and shook his head. “N-No, I’m okay, I already had them,” and he curled up on Michael’s chest, hugging his waist tightly.

Michael looked to Kyle who met his eyes. See? Alex had known Kyle would spot the number of bottles and start asking questions, and he’d decided to hide the truth. Michael’s arms tightened around him.

“Baby?” Alex looked up with concern, his breath warm against Michael’s collarbone. “You’re shaking.”

Michael forced a chuckle. “I’m a little cold.”

“Oh, well just tell me,” Alex smiled and unfolded the blanket they usually kept on the couch, covering them both. He tucked Michael in and snuggled in close to keep him as warm as possible. “Is that better?”

He nodded, kissing Alex’s brow. “Better. Thanks, baby.”

Satisfied, Alex settled and went back to watching the movie. As the opening credits rolled in, Michael shared another look with Kyle. Kyle seemed to think it was a good thing that Alex wasn’t looking for excuses to take more pills, and made a calming gesture with his hand to Michael.

Relax, he seemed to tell him. He has us here, I’m not going anywhere, just relax.

Michael swallowed and nodded, settling into the couch, his grip on Alex tight. He would relax for now, he would take it calmly, he would stay strong because Alex needed him. For Alex, he thought over and over, whenever dark thoughts threatened to take him away. For Alex.

***

Happy Malex Monday ❤️

[hole34]

my eyes haven't done this in a while

i am going to burn through the rest of my supply tomorrow as my abusers are coming over for a visit. see you on the other side

[sofiabix]

This is how Ive felt my whole life

[amayakute]

how can’t anyone see how badly i’m bleeding?

[aftgficrec]

Neil & Matt shenanigans?

I gotta wonder if any of these were written from personal experience… -A

previous recs for matt & neil friendship:

Matt & Neil or Matt/Neil* here

Allison & Neil or Matt & Neil** here

Matt & Neil forehead kisses here

‘The Christmas Gift,’ ‘baby, it's cold outside,’ and ‘andreil’s christmas time with dan and matt’ here

‘it's sad but true (how much i miss you)’ here

‘My Best Friend’ here

‘Secrets’ and ‘'ah yes, my shirt will cover this'’ here

‘disarm you with a smile’ here

‘A Form Of Endearment’ here

‘work in progress’ here 

‘I'll Race You There’ here

‘when you are close to me (i shiver)’ here and ‘when you are close to me (the thumping in my chest remix)’ here

‘skylight’ here

‘Clear as Day’ here

‘I Spy’ here

‘Already Taken’ here

‘Bad Apple’ and ‘You are a Fox’ here

‘Scars Like Stars’ here (updated)

‘Someone New’ here

‘I will help you swim’ and ‘Looking in the Mirror Never Felt so Good’ here

‘Wish I Had a River’ here

‘White Hands’ here

‘if i could look past the present’ here

‘I Quit Talking Again, I Know You're Still Listening’ here

‘and when i'm a little unsteady (stay a while with me)’ here

‘Blood Spilled (But None Wasted)’ here

‘Cryptid Serial Killer Witch Man’ and ‘The endless mental math required to simply survive.’ here

‘Sent to Drain’ here

‘Do I want to know if this feeling goes both ways?’ here

‘If You Love Me, Come Clean’ here

‘A Quiet Little Seedling’ here

more shenanigans-y:

*hijinks from Matt & Neil or Matt/Neil: ‘Come Get It Now,’ ‘diet mountain dew,’ ‘tampons’ tumblr fics, ‘Breaking News, the Josten-Boyd Affair,’ ‘do some matt and neil best friend headcanons,’ and ‘a thought.’  here

**M&N hijinks from Allison & Neil or Matt & Neil: ‘chef!andrew trying (and failing) to woo picky eater neil,’ ‘Dare You,’ ‘together…Chapter 22: Too Drunk,’ ‘Matt Boyd and Neil Josten Bromance…,’ and ‘and you’re shining like the brightest stars…’ here

‘I'll be home for Christmas (You can count on me),’ ‘pointless traditions,’ and ‘Merry & Bright’ ch 14, 24 here

‘brosten being dumb and doing stupid shit’ here

‘Mis-Match’ here

‘Perennial’ and ‘Neighbours’ series here

‘Seeing Colors’ here

‘Falling in love in a...Dance Club?,’ ‘Fox magic! Thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard?!’ (updated), and ‘Proper Decorum’ here

‘Spinning Wheels’ and ‘We're A Mess’ here 

‘A Day Out with Dad’ here

‘We Used To Be Friends’ here (completed)

‘The Runaway Game’ here

‘5 times realisation struck Neil & 1 time he acted on it’ here

‘We Can Be Soft’ here

‘Seasons of memory’ here

‘sugar, sugar & everything sugar’ here

‘In the Eye of the Beholder’ and ‘Wait, Neil Has a Boyfriend?’ here

‘call it what you want’ and ‘Andrew scares the waiter’ here

‘12 Ways to Woo a Minyard’ here

‘The Rob Chronicles’ series here

Boys' Night by knoxham [Rated T, 2871 Words, Complete, AFTG Fall Exchange 2020]

Having the evening to themselves, Matt and Neil plan an awesome Boys' Night that consists of movies, a surplus amount of food, and maybe a bit too much alcohol. Everything starts off great, but when they wake up the next morning with no memories, no money, and no eyebrows, they try to retrace their steps to figure out what the hell happened last night and run into a few problems.

tw: alcohol

Neil's Bright Idea by Demi_jos10 [Rated G, 1954 Words, Complete, 2018]

Neil loses his first bet with the Upperclassmen.

I’m sorry, I said Ikea sucks (I just bought a table for 60 bucks) byAcetober (allfortheBoyds) [Rated T, 1715 Words, Complete, 2023]

“Neil,” Matt says once he gets his words back. “Buddy, no. That is an actual crime.” Neil only looks at him in confusion. “It’s just a store,” He argues and Matt does his best not to groan in despair. “It’s not just a store. It’s Ikea. It’s an experience.” or Neil has never been to ikea, Matt takes it upon himself to change that

Lost Cause by Current_hyperfixation07 [Rated T, 7108 Words, Complete, 2024]

The one where Neil Josten faces his toughest challenge yet - finding a date to Senior Prom. Or 5 times the Foxes try to find Neil a date to Prom, and the 1 time he finds a date himself. Neil is oblivious, Andrew is smitten, and the Foxes are trying their hardest to get Neil a prom date by sending him on a series of blind dates. What could go wrong?

a drunk neil josten is an honest neil josten by sam_sational [Rated T, 2574 Words, Complete, 2023]

"You should probably change your pants first, Aaron will stab you if you ruin his reputation at Eden's." After Dan, Renee, and Allison graduate, Matt gets roped into going to Eden's on a Friday night. Neil is more open than usual.

don't be afraid of the beautiful and high mountain by Leahelisabeth (fortheloveofcamelot) [Rated G, 3194 Words, Complete, 2020, Locked]

Previously recced here

It only took a second for it all to go to shit. One moment, Matt was taking in the spectacular view through the lens of his camera, capturing the way Neil’s hair glowed in the sunlight, and the next, he heard the sound of sliding rock and Neil is gone. Matt and Neil take a day to go hiking and very little of it goes to plan.

tw: serious injury, tw: blood/gore, tw: vomit

2:26 by rather__odd [Not Rated, 1537 Words, Complete, 2023]

Previously recced here

No one expected Neil to be good with kids, least of all Neil. That was before Penelope.

A Real Knock-Out by SensationalSunburst [Rated G, 1377 Words, Complete, 2018]

Matt liked being the guy that people could depend on. So, when Andrew left him on Neil Duty on Eden’s overcrowded dance floor, he took it seriously. Matt had been surprised that’d he’d been invited at all, even more so when he actually accepted, but as a man put a heavy hand on Neil’s shoulder, spinning him around, Matt was glad he came.

tw: implied/referenced racism, tw: attempted noncon

I'll Follow You (into the light) by DeyaAmaya [Rated T, 5576 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange 2018]

Previously recced here

Neil is a paramedic in a rainy city. Andrew will be gone in a few months. And Stuart Hatford just wants Neil to find a date.

tw: homophobia

Neil Josten Builds Himself a Life by tomat0head [Rated T, 9424 Words, Complete, 2021]

Previously recced here

After spending years of his life on the run, then more time under the careful watch of the FBI, Neil is finally free to live on his own and start a new, real life with his best friend and FBI supervisor, Matt, at his side. Along the way, Neil meets a five foot nothing goth wannabe Ikea builder, adopts a cat that is half demon, and makes a group of weird, somewhat annoying friends. This is the story of how one Neil Josten, after years of struggle, finally builds himself a life.

If You Ask Nicely by harvroth [Rated G, 967 Words, Complete, 2016]

"Hey, Matt, why don't you just ask Andrew if you can have a go with his boyfriend?" Dan, seemingly noticing, and not caring where her boyfriend's attention is, startles both Matt who gulps, and turns to look at Dan, blushing, and Neil who also looks up at Dan who is grinning.

Ain't Nobody's Business by jostenminyard (onceuponahundred) [Rated G, 873 Words, Complete, 2016]

Everyone mistakes our close friendship for fliting and an adult went to the director with their concern of our big age difference. For the ultimate BROTP Matt and Neil.

You learn or you die by SagaEllen [Rated T, 1387 Words, Complete, 2021]

Previously recced here

"Listen," He hoped his eyes were determined, maybe a little intimidating, but not threatening - panic won't help them now. "You trust me with that, and I will let you buy me another entire closet with my uncle's blood money." Nicky gaped. "Your uncle's-" He cut himself off with a firm shake of his head. When he met Neil's gaze again his eyes were practically shining and the redhead felt like he was going to regret that promise so very much. In other words: The Monsters plus Dan and Matt go on a trip that ends before it even started. Neil has a skillset.

tw: blood

The Boy Who Hates Movies by 0bsessednerd [Rated M, 11636 Words, Complete, 2024]

Neil didn’t enjoy movies for whatever reason. Maybe he didn’t like how fake they were? Maybe he wasn’t allowed to enjoy something so frivolous? Or maybe he was just insane? Nicky always said it was the last one. Because who didn’t like movies? He hoped this next movie night would be different! He had personally selected the movie and got everyone’s favorite snacks to make this night the best one yet. What could go wrong? ~~~ Five times Neil disliked the movies they watched and one time he loved it.

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction

Current Obsession: Matt hightailing it out of the dorm before The Shower Scene fandom fun post by @corvidhours [Tumblr, 2021]

boys will be boys hcs by @triquetrine [Tumblr, 2020]

aka neil josten and matt boyd doing nothing other than being besties.

neil, andrew, matt, and kevin + pro league shenanigans hc by @triquetrine [Tumblr, 2021]

matt’s the first one to go pro (because he graduates first) and he is both extremely excited and extremely nervous

Brosten hcs by @demo-whale [Tumblr, 2024]

Part 1 - Matt carries Neil everywhere they go together Part 2 - Matt and Neil can both speak Spanish 

Matt: Repeat exactly what Andrew said fandom fun post by @chai-and-cherries [Tumblr, 2022]

Neil roasts Matt in the pros hc by @eggscelsior [Tumblr, 2019]

have my jacket fandom fun post by @kevinandthepalmetthoes [Tumblr, 2021]

Art

My fav idiots art by @em-xzm

matt boyd is Not Upset meme by @sizzicus

best mate and help pick out baby supplies art by @gremlinddrawss

Neil & Matt making gains at the gym + beefy Andrew reaction art by @intradaya

0 🦊 given art by @riovgle

“Neil hit Riko” edit by @matthcwboyd

Matt and Neil’s friendship is severely underrated art by @markiehh

Matt resting elbow on Neil’s head and bro hugs art by @cute-electrocute

[swampbrick]

“And I'm too clever; and then I'm too fucking dumb.”

song: messy by lola young

edit by: me! (tiktok posting)