#drawing is so hard rn so this is the best this is getting
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Update time!
Happy Valentine's day, everyone!! I hope you guys are having fun! q(≧▽≦q) Seems like the best time to talk about things going on with me before I answer some asks! I'll try to be succinct! First things first, since I'm pinning this post, I'll say again that my commissions will be open in late-March! The time frame is due to reasons that I'll elaborate here in a bit. If, busy, here's a TL;DR : Messed up my back bc I neglected my stretches for 2 months; will be taking it easy till the end of March. V-day art will be late due to that.
Secondly, as much as I wanted to, I don't have any drawings ready for the holiday rn... yet. I have a few ideas that are gonna take some time to get out, but I want to do them regardless (≧∀≦)ゞ (Ideas being ones I promised last Valentine's Day: a Hollyberry comic that's nearly done, a Longan comic, and a Shadow Milk comic). I'm always late to these things so it should be fiiine. So uh, the reasons I mentioned. During the completion of the latter part of my comm queue and that drawing I posted a day or two ago, I might've... pushed myself a bit too hard and my lower back pain's now at an all-time high. <:P Back pain has been a problem for me for a while which is why I had a stretching + exercise regimen to manage it. However, I neglected doing any of it for the past two-ish months and now it's really coming back to bite me. qwq So I'll be going back into it full-swing and it's gonna include me cutting down on how much I sit at my pc. The pain is, thankfully, not to a point where I have to see a doctor, but it really sucks to go to bed and wake up with the same pain... （；´д｀）ゞ
I want to get better enough to take comms comfortably when March rolls around sooooo, wish me luck!!
#bonsi talks#also to any T/WST peeps out there who follow me; I got Crowley within 50 pulls LETS FKING GOOOOOO
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"i dont hate you"
how long could they argue without thinking they're hated by each other. how long until they can't take it anymore
#sad•leonart#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt raph#rise raph#rottmnt a team#i have no been able to draw is so long#outside of some stuff for an anon project but lakdjflasdkjf#still--#drawing is so hard rn so this is the best this is getting#im very eepy.. tempted ot just sleep early
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had a wanda in my game ask me how to effectively use meteor m like my beautiful daughter i havent the slightest clue. also round starts in five seconds.
#marvel rivals#snap chats#LIKE DON'T ASK ME THAT RN HELLO VLEKJEKLA I LOVE GIVING ADVICE AND TALKING ABOUT MAGS' KIT BUT#/I/ cant even articulate how best to use meteor m. like idk .... vibes ...#the answer i typed up for them during Round 2 was just.. prioritize supports jelkrajleak#LIKE I DONT KNOW I CANT ANSWER IN TWO SECS. priority target will always vary on the situation but safest bet imo is support#meteor m is also good for drawing fire away so there's that to remember if your team's getting overwhelmed#idk.. AGAIN IDK I STILL DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO BEST USE IT#i have a general idea but ... lol ..#anyways i hope that mate does well in learning to play mags#i dont think he's a hard character to play at all even My Experience aside#his kit is very simple and as long as you understand the philosophy of a tank then you should be fine. also please hit your shots#manage cool downs protect your team blah blah blah#anyway i got like two more posts to make. like an insane person. maybe just one ..
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need 2 find myself again in 2025 . tbhwu
#depression has hollowed me out in2 a shell of my former self#and i thmk i need 2 grit my teeth and just get over It whatever It is#recognizing its no easy task but also knowing i cant keep on like this#and allowing myself to spiral into misery thereby preventing any possible change or growth#sigh …. sogh .. i want 2 be a person again . picture friends circa 2008 outlining me in chalk. i want 2 know theres something there#how u ask (me asking myself)#idk but one way or anotjer . and not in that new yrs resolution fallacy way#anyways . anyways z . crazy how a week off from work will leave u feeling real again#i gotta get out of there . step 1😭🙏🙏#its especially hard when everyone arnd you is objectively doing better. partners finances purpose . >staring in2 the camera 1000 yd stare#u get thru the beast of being a teenager like thank god thats over and then b4 you even catch ur breath#your mid 20s are casting a shadow over u like some menacing thing and u have to gulp and say hes right behind me isnt he#i think people often like to give the advice that youll figure it out but it leaves me feeling so disquieted#bc its like sure im sure i will ive made it this far i can do what i need to get by when the moment matters#but it does nothing to assauge the immediate anxiety and feelings of worthlessness and lack of direction yk#goddmanit assuage i spelled it wrong everyone point and laugh#bc its like what if i dont and i mean that in a very like . existential & not material way . idk what im saying but i think thats the advice#i hate most . not sure if u have felt or do feel the same . -__- like yes oersonal experience sure whatever happens will happen and you will#simply adjust but will i ever feel like its something i want to experience/endure .#whatever anyways x2. im journalling i think that helps me the best rn . and its the one thing thats allowed me hope and i think#having that time to examine and mull over and deconstruct is rly helpful tbh. and i would like to think#over the long term i can repair my creativity and cultivate a new outlet that doesnt leave me feeling empty if i cant draw as i used to#yaar#i feel like i dont write for very long tho thats the one thing that kinda blows#two pages maybe and ive only addressed two maybe three points if im being generous lol i get so bored with the actual motion#when my mind moves 10x as fast . and idc for audio logs either ykwim.#ohh tumblr how i love u . tag system like no other
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@clickerflight @whump-art-exchange
Image ID: An ink drawing of Kolt, naked, from the whump series Fallen. He is bruised and looks away as the chain attached to his collar is tugged. He is inside what appears to be a cell, with multiple eyes on the walls watching him intensely. /end ID.
Ok, so, I tried to do this like two times and it took me a while to lay the sketch. I had an idea for what to do--i went to give the series a shot, once i noticed this buddy here is a part of one so i could get better context--and so the idea i had was for making something from his villain days! It appears that Kolt as a villain was very intriguing (at least for me) but I couldn't make a sketch I was satisfied with, so I decided to go more whumpy! I remember a part where Kolt is in his recovery and he remembers when multiple people were watching and mocking him....couldn't get this over my head. Overall, I haven't finished it yet, but Fallen is a great series! They write it so well!
Art taglist:
@for-the-love-of-angst
#whump_art_exchange_2024#my art#described#others ocs#whump#whump art#fanart#<- yea i became a fan#pal your writing rocks#hehehe the photo was good#managed to take some good shots#natural daylight is the best i tell ya#tw bruises#tw partial nudity#man at first i had like the hardest time figuring this out#i first tried to translate his design to my style but it wouldn't get good y'know#managed to in the end#but didn't rlly matter lmao#had a hard time figuring his facee#and hair#but now. theres a ref from when he's in captivity and his hair was significantly longer#like this#so i used that#also i tried this new shading method which is like so fucking super fun#bruising him up was fun#ty clickerfight for giving me the opportunity to draw him!#im rooting for ivan rn (ive already picked favorites)#but boy how this lil man is special#😌#what a whumpee
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i was gonna say "i shouldn't have to go to work when my brain feels like a depression slushie" and then i was like "wait but then i'd basically never ever go to work" and i'm actually doubling down on the first part now bc my god how am i supposed to heal my brain from burning out 5 years ago if i can never get an actual break
#//juri speaks#i also at this moment: do not know if i have health insurance anymore / if i will be able to get insurance#if i can't get insurance i will not be able to take classes this fall#if i can't take classes my loan repayments will kick in immediately#i already don't have enough money for anything and i certainly don't have a spare $150 a month for the government#at any rate i need to submit my tuition waiver Soon but i can't until i know if i can get into the second class#so i have to wait for the prof or my advisor to get back to me#all the while a funeral day draws nearer#and then AT work i still feel like my position doesn't need to exist#but i desperately need it to exist because i need the money#and this big mchuge data migration project we were SUPPOSED to have had done in JUNE is being pushed to the absolute last minute#not by us but by the folks in control of the software we're moving to#so we're not going to have any safety margins with the old software#it's going to be GONE and dead and unlicensed while we're trying to learn the new shit#and i'm going to have to deal with the other branch cataloger trying to do everything for us which Won't Help#and i need!!!!!! a break!!!!!!!!!! from everything!!!!!#i need the world to stop and i need to go sit in the desert for like 6 months#instead best i can do is go buy the new taz gn for a little crumb of escape. maybe a little coffee drink while i'm there#even though i've been hitting sugar hard lately and really do not have the funds to buy more clothes if i gain a few more lbs#and can't afford a walking pad/treadmill and don't want to go outside bc it is a billion degrees all day every day rn#uuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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Nowadays trying really fucking hard to teach to my brain that it's okay and better to "just do 10 min of this task" even if it means leaving it unfinished (but further along than before!) rather than not doing it "because when I do it I should do it all" Because jfc I can't keep leaving my house in states where I need to do 30+ minutes of dishes instead of just... doing a little everyday and at least it remains a manageable amount in the sink even if it's not always emptied...
#it's hard but i'm doing my best#im using housekeep chores as an example bc it's an easy one but really this is for everything in my life rn#better draw 10 minutes than none at all#better practise for my driving license 10 minutes than none at all#because I VERY rarely actually get the cross of energy AND motivation to do “a whole task”#rn my brain hates not doing a whole task but i'm sure with practise it'll become easier to feel rewarded for doing just a bit#at least future me thanks me every fucking time so yknow#i just have to practise enough so it doesn't feel like i'm forcing myself everytime#bc starting is always the hardest part#and even if i stop AT LEAST I DID 10 MINUTES OF THE THING SO IT'S NOT STAGNATING HOLY SHIT#i wish i was a functioning human :)#or at least a functioning artist that enjoyed drawing for 4 hours straight after work lmao#beary talk#beary ramble#beary life
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not all of you (AKA, not a single soul probably) will see The Vision but i'm gonna be so real rn: chillin' like a villain from descendants but it's mark and amanda teaching adam how to be an evil jigsaw apprentice *mic drops*
#sawposting#i wish so hard i knew how draw rn#trust me it is VERY funny in my head#it just???? fits so ridiculously#the scenario is already flabbergasting#'i really wanna be bad a lot and im giving it my best shot! but its hard being what im not' 'well if u dont u gonna get us caught'#'show us how bad u can be' 'like this? *shows off pic of lawrence scratching his ass* like THIS *shows off pic of john sleeping with billy*'#'oh yeah i think i got this lets go im ready to ROCK this!'#pLEASE i would give my foot for this#adam faulkner stanheight#amanda young#mark hoffman#jigsaw apprentice adam au
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Doodle of my boy
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc art#oc#fydd <3333333333#he is my bestie I need to get over my fear of drawing him so bad#grips bathroom sink I Will get better at drawing for fun and letting my art be messy and being proud of it anyways#but yeah look at him he is so cute and is so silly and he’s never gone through any traumatic events ever I would never#<- lying lier who lies and loves tormenting it’s ocs#but yeah he’s half alien half human but was raised entirely by his human mom#his alien mom is alas stuck in the cult the two met at rip#fydd doesn’t know abt any of that tho he just knows that he has another mom that his mom doesn’t like talking abt#he loves playing games of all kind but especially loves video games and will play them for hours#not that he has much else to do since he’s spent pretty much his entire life living by a garbage dump in the middle of nowhere#and he’s not allowed to go fuck around in the dump much since his mom doesn’t want him to be seen so he’s stuck at home most of the time#thankfully now he has an adopted sister to play with but he still has viddy game autism#his mom has done her best to introduce him to the various cultures she and his other mom came from but she struggles with it#she was quite disconnected from her own culture growing up and she knows limited amount about her girlfriends home planet#fydd doesn’t mind much rn cause he’s 12 but a certain other older fydd might care a smidge more#fydd does like 60% know both japanese and spanish tho so that’s pretty cool#his mom tried to do regular lessons when he was younger but wasn’t able to keep them up consistently and eventually gave up#mostly because she wasn’t anywhere near fluent in either herself and she had a hard time keeping up with how fast fydd would pick up on it#they still have some books from back then laying around that fydd will pick up and read aloud when he’s bored sometimes#he gets bored of speaking english all the time as his brain is built to pick apart different sounds and assign them linguistic meaning#so reading and speaking different languages is good enrichment for him#his mom doesn’t know this unfortunately otherwise she totally would have gotten him more stuff in different languages to chew on#he does get to learn the language the stalien cast speaks tho he has a lot of fun with that#he alas can’t properly experience most stalien video games though rip#I should rly get to redesigning his human mom again at some point she needs it sooo bad#I mean her whole squad needs it but she’s my favorite so like
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Teaching myself to whittle!
#whittling#I asked myself hm what is the best thing to practice with. something I know well after drawing it on every paper in school#I know! a photorealistic eye!!#my years of training....#I'm in such a crafting mood rn#I'm currently googling wooden marionettes to try to figure out how hard it would be to carve one#I think I could do it#as long as I don't care TOO much about it looking good#which I don't#so it's doable!!#whittling is super fun though!!! I get why old men sit on the porch for hours and do this#fluffle art
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gay gay homosexual gay
#sunny's art#this one's REALLY old but i just realized i didn't post it here#it's actually the first vargas related drawing i made !!#it was such a big part of my character development honestly#like i'm so serious rn#one day i just read vargas and the brainrot hit me SO HARD i even got out of my art block#i suddenly just started getting a bunch of ideas to draw i'm really really happy about that#like i don't think i'll ever made this much fanart of something in my whole life#and the best part about this is that there's not really a bunch of people on this fandom#so i know i can do every idea i have because i am 90% sure i will be the first person to do it#and creating my own content makes me so happy#honestly i just posted this as an excuse to ramble about what happened with me when i joined this fandom#about my other drawing !!! i'm finally satisfied with the background i drew#it's almost too perfect !!!!#the thing is that. the location looks. pretty much similar to the place. scriabin died on. chapter 21#the realization hit me so hard#whatever. if i try really hard i might finish it this week.#scriabin#vargas#edgar vargas#edgar looks so cute adjnsfnnsnfne#and i fell in love with scriabin when i drew him here#just look at him. honestly.#i miss them so so so much#i'm content starved so i keep drawing them
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I wish art was effortless
#jinx's hijinks#i wish i cpuld just draw on command but noooo i have to go thru the horrors just to get into a mood where my artistic ability is unlocked#maybe its bc im in a Place mentally rn#but drawing and making anything artistic is so hard#maybe im just not liking what im putting out but also what im putting put isnt my best it diesnt even look like i drew it#it doesnt feel like me yk#and it doesnt feel like art block bc im getting the ideas and everything its just not translating onto paper well#theres miscommunication between my hands and my brain and all i can do it wait until they decide to communicate for a 2 hrs every few weeks
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WHAT DA HECKKKK MAC!!! UR A BIRTHDAY GUY!!!! HOLY SHIT. OLD!!! time 2 put u in a retirement home!!!! IT'S UR DAY OF BIRTH I AM THROWING U A PARTY RN 🎉🥳🎉 TIME 2 HIT THE PINATA 🪄 🪅 CANDY!! 🍭 🍬 🍫 TIME 4 PRESENTS 🎁🎁🎁 CAKE TIME 🧁 BIRTHDAY BOY GETS A CROWN 👑 BLOW OUT THE CANDLES 🧨🧨🧨 <<couldn't find any candles so i got these weird red sticks instead!! i think they're sparklers!! :3
oh fuck i love sparklers-!
#hehehehehe#thank u whiskeyyyyy#did u see my wolfwood funko pop#my brother wins the prize for best present (as usual. hes good @ that) bc he got me trigun stuff hehe#my grandparents also got me a couple of the critical role graphic novels. hell yes cannot WAIT 2 read those#oh fuck! this reminds me i need 2 go hatch my birthday dragons on fr...... ive had eggs saved for soooo long. omg#IM SOOOO GRANDMA CODED. I SHOULD BE PUT IN THE RETIREMENT HOME I THINK <3#all the young kids lookin @ me doing my embroidery and shit going oh fuck dude that grandma gnc af. youre insane#asks#anachronistic-falsehood#friends!!!#i am going 2 hatch my dragons and draw myself some self indulgent cute art and then i think i will sleep#overall did not have a bad day but i did get a couple. garbage moments from my family so i am.#not feeling epic rn but i am trying sosososo so hard 2 be positive#fingers crossed that the flight rising rng gods are smiling upon me. pleaseplease give me a pretty dragon .#ayyy im just a little birthday boy im just a little guy cmaaahn#hi whiskey how was ur day. i saw u were watching it earlier. love those movies. i need 2 read the book !!!!#i do enjoy a good stephen king every once in a while.
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finally back from the grave and it's all thanks to all of my babies getting their new outfits
#I feel like ranting so much about each one of them rn#ike getting the most cosplayeable fit ever I'm already considering it#can we talk about the absolute banger that he just dropped too pls#mysta holmes with his lil pancake looking hat#luca best representation of your average aussie#shu looking like a whole ass masterpiece#like his og fit wasn't painful enough to draw#and vox#bro where do I even start#he slays (literally) so damn hard I might need someone to hold me back from biting on those tiddies#tags a whole different post why tf am I like this#luxiem
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I wanna kiss the scars on polina
#they're so beautiful#SHE'S so beautiful#I love her smsmsmsmms#I can't believe she actually likes me back (we have been dating)#ever since the day I met her??#those 4 minutes of talking were the best ever hehe :3#she#god I just love her I don't even have words#I'm gonna vomit#and die#and have seizures#I love polina#wiwwery my wife :3#she says she loves when I :3#I wanna kiss every last scar and draw stars on them#she has surgery soon#I hope she's okay#idk what id do if she wouldn't talk to me for like idk#it's hard because she lives in Russia and stuff buuuuttttt#she always tries so hard to keep up#SHE'S SO CLINGY I LOVE OY#SHE MAKES ME SO HAPPY WHEN SHE'S CLINGY AND JEALOUS#AND THEN SHE GETS ALL SAD LIKE “im sorry I'm so possessive :(” LIKE GIRL#DONT MAKE ME MAKE OUT WITH U RN#TONGUE AND EVERYTHING#aokwpwiwowjwk I just love her#I'm gonna actually vomit Though#gotta thug out the flu#or maybe I have monkeypox#kinda hope I do so like what mars said
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