#manage cool downs protect your team blah blah blah

[xxplastic-cubexx]

had a wanda in my game ask me how to effectively use meteor m like my beautiful daughter i havent the slightest clue. also round starts in five seconds.

[badstargateimagines]

Stargate character analysis

Based on how they’d act at a minimum wage job inspired by my actual behavior.

Jack: He’s the type to show up to work in his pajamas, clock in, and then take an hour long shit before finally getting changed into his uniform. His shift starts at 5am on paper, but in practice it starts at 6:15. Time theft king. (Me while working at Canadian grocery chain that rhymes with blah blahs)

Sam: 15 minutes early for being 15 minutes early. She shows up and sits in the parking lot for 15 minutes before she goes into work and then sits there for another 15 minutes before her start time. However, if she notices something that needs to be done, she’ll do it before clocking in just so she doesn’t need to do it later. (Me when I worked at Sephora)

Daniel: kind of like Sam but hates his boss so he does everything he’s told to do but vagues about his boss online on anonymous accounts. Partial to the tradie breakfast (gas station coffee and pastry). Says he’s not stressed about work but has had anxiety about it since he went in for the interview. (Me when I worked at Canadian Old Lady Clothes Emporium with a duck as the logo)

Teal’c: Shows up at exactly his shift time and then makes a coffee before doing anything. Afterwards he just vibes and gives cryptic lore updates to anyone who comes by his desk. Has unionized himself and takes half hour long breaks and 1.25 hour lunch breaks. Spends his downtime engaging with hobbies. (Me when I worked at my town’s visitor’s centre)

Jonas: Interchangeable with Daniel. It’s always a toss up of who will show up for the shift. Has a panic attack when he can’t find his uniform. Beloved by management because he constantly seems like a baby animal who shouldn’t be at work, crushed by the weight of capitalism and yet he’s there doing his best. Protected by his coworkers because he’s constantly victimized by weird customers. (Me at the grocery store I worked at when I was 14)

Vala: straight up vibing. Pops an Adderall and downs 2 red bulls and calls it breakfast. Not sober when she wakes up? No problem! Have a shot as a pick me up and stroll into work because minimum wage isn’t worth the hassle of being sober. Watches people steal and just tells them where the camera blind spots are. They call her 007: 0 effort, 0 work done, 7 smoke breaks. Vapes in the receiving area and entertains truckers with her immeasurable amount of rizz. Almost fired for unionizing the old people in the smoking area but quits before they can actually fire her. (Me again working at Canadian Grocery Chain that rhymes with blah blahs)

Janet: receptionist who has a license to be incredibly mean to anyone who walks in. Shows up 10 minutes late every day because she has to pop into everyone’s office to say “omg hiiiiii!!” on her way to her office. Everyone loves her. Makes coffee when she knows the 60 year old lady from finance who knows all the gossip will be in the break room. Keeps the entire office together by being Radar O’Reilly. (Me when I temped at town hall)

Cam: he’s the young supervisor who ended up becoming a supervisor against his will who shows up with a litre of coffee every morning. Constantly forgets that he’s a supervisor so gossips with staff for like five minutes before his face goes blank and goes “shit, uh, we gotta get back to work” and then doesn’t. Whenever someone comes in late and apologizes for it he goes “nah don’t worry, I wish I wasn’t here too, take your time, I’ll adjust the punches.” Everyone thinks he’s cool but he’s actually just too stressed about potentially needing to write someone up that he’d rather just not see it. Gets all his work done and the team is always more productive when he’s there. (Me when I worked at the old lady clothes emporium)

General Hammond: retires by opening a business and not retiring at all. Effectively has the business to get out of the house. Hours are whenever he’s around. Picks a location close to his dentist and doctor’s office so he can close the store and walk there when he needs to go to an appointment. Spends his days talking to his friends and engaging with his hobbies. (My dad and the record store we opened together because he couldn’t stand doing nothing all day)

Harry Meybourne: calls in sick because he’s hungover or because it’s too nice out or something. Performs well at his job when he bothers to show up, really milking the labour shortage for everything it’s worth. Says he can’t work before 7am or after 9pm because he’s not able to drive when it’s dark. That’s a lie. (Me when I worked at McDonald’s when I was 17)

[thanx-idonttry]

Bakugou x Black Singer/Blogger!Reader

They Are Pro Heroes, like Age 25.

This came out longer than expected.

Tags: Fluff. Bakugou being a fanboy.

You weren’t hugely famous, but you were internet famous, and that’s still pretty huge. You were just a Black girl showing your voice, hoping to brighten someone’s day.

And with each video of you upload to your blog, you manage to make over 1 million people smile. And one of those 1 million people was Katsuki Bakugou, A.K.A Dynamite. One half of the #1 Pro Hero of Japan.

A few years after high school, He and Midoriya teamed up and climbed the charts to the #1 spot. As busy as he and Midoriya is, he always finds time to watch each and every one of your videos.

He made a secret page under another name, just to like and reblog your videos. He likes to start his day by clicking one of your singing videos, and blare it through his house as he gets ready for the day. He could be going to work of off for the day, he’ll play one of songs.

The man was hooked as soon as he heard you do a cover to Beyonce’s “1+1″. He was shooketh! He’s used to hearing your original songs, you rarely do covers. But he still loved it. Unable to look away from you as your power house voice blocked out everything around him. He loved hearing you sing or watching your other videos of miscellaneous things because it relates to your culture, which he really isn’t exposed to all the time. So he watches to learn more.

But he really just likes watching you. You look so passionate when you do your blogs, it was so interesting to  him. You were such a foreign masterpiece to him, everything from your thick, curly (or braided) dark hair. Your brown (or Hazel) eyes seemed so bright to him. Your skin tone was so wonderful, it always made you look like you were glowing. And your attitude was nothing to play with. He realized that when you obliterated a racist hater on one of her live videos.

He was crushing, he was crushing hard and didn’t even realize it yet. He’ll put on one your videos to relax him Not long before his friends catch on and realize that he was a fan. The first to find out was Midoriya. (He works with the man sooo...) Catching Bakugou watching your videos. “Oh you Follow Y/N too? I think she’s really talented.” Midoriya says to him.

Katsuki, who was still wrapped up in watching you talk about the injustices against your race, he accidentally let “She’s so fucking wonderful.” Slip out loud, and Midoriya smirked teasingly.

Bakugou stiffened, completely frozen with wide eyes and a red tint hitting his face. “Did I hear right? Kacchan has a crush on Y/N?” He teased. In honesty, he’s happy for Bakugou.

But Bakugou being a proud man, doesn’t want to fully admit it. “SHUT THE HELL UP!! I just think she’s... Cool.” He says while still trying to cover up his flushed face, He didn’t want anyone seeing this.

He was embarrassed, his secret is out. He kept you a secret because it was his way of having you all to himself. Even though he didn’t know you and Vice Versa, he wanted you to be his in a way. So yeah, he was crushing.

“So you already know she’ll be here in a couple of weeks for her blog and to do a few promotions. Why don’t you make some arrangements to meet her?” Midoriya suggests, and it makes Bakugou nervous.

“I don’t know about that, she never really mentioned Heroes in any of her posts... I don’t think she’s interested in Pro Heroes.” Bakugou said with some disappointment in his voice

———

“The Wonder Duo once again saved over 200 civilians who were attending a charity ball that was taken hostage by villains. And—” You didn’t even get the chance to hear the rest of the news report because you started fangirling over Dynamite.

They showed clips from the incident and all you could think was how good he looked taking down those villains. You were such a fan of him, but you thought that people would discriminate you two because of your races. Don’t want to constantly hear “DyNaMiTe DoN’t EvEn LiKe BlAcK GiRls” *Insert Eye Roll*

You kept your love for him a secret, if only your fans knew that he was the reason behind every love song you made. You have merchandise from the hero, your love for him ran deep. So you were looking forward to your trip in a couple of weeks, being in the country as Dynamite gave you goosebumps.

A huge part of you was hoping to run into him while you were there. Get him to sign a few things before finishing his patrol, maybe have a little chat. You squealed at the thought of being in front of your favorite hero, thoughts of possibilities floated into your head, like possibly getting a hug, or like sing for him! You wondered if he was a fan of you.

Then a frown appeared on your face, He’s probably too busy to look at your videos. Sure you had fans, but someone like Dynamite is probably  too preoccupied with cooler shit to watch your videos. I mean, you two are from different worlds. Then the comments from people of your blog saying “PRO HEROES FROM JAPAN DON’T LIKE BLACK PEOPLE”  “DYNAMITE DON’T LIKE BLACK GIRLS” Blah, Blah, Blah.

You were worried that your favorite hero wouldn’t want anything to do with you. You grabbed your plushie of Dynamite and held it tight, you did your best to let them thoughts go, but you knew there was only one way to cool your jets, was to blog about it, then make a video afterwards.

You ranted about black love and the appreciation of Black x Japanese interracial love, and that it’s okay to date outside your race. Love is Love and as long as they respect each others cultures and truly love each other. After you logged off, you started getting ready for your trip. You ignored your phone going off, and continued packing.

When you were done, you decided to write a song to help with the left over nerves you got from multiple things. As you sit there in your bonnet, (Favorite color) tank top, (Other Favorite color) shorts, your house shoes booties, typing lyrics into your phone. In your most natural state, you wondered if Dynamite would like you like this. 

You know that you’re beautiful, but the possibility of your future not finding you attractive does bother you. You kept telling yourself to stop thinking  like that and focus on your shit. You don’t need obsessing over petty little shit from people you don’t even know.

_____

Bakugou watched your rant video the moment he woke up. He woke up and grabbed his phone. Once he saw your notification on his phone, he fully woke up and instantly clicked play. Once he didn’t see your bright smile, he knew something was up. 

He laid in his bed, watching you rant about Black love. He heard you mention Pro heroes, and his eyes widened. He knew someone had irritated you, and that irritated him. He knew for sure that he, and a lot of  heroes and civilians here don’t discriminate. He wanted to know who the hell filled your head with this bullshit?! He wanted to make a video, yelling at the extras that think that told you this crap. He wanted to set them straight.

But then people will find out that he’s a fan of you, and if his friends  find out... he’ll never hear the end of it. Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero will tease him at every given moment. But he wanted to let you know that all of us Heroes in Japan have nothing but love for the black community. 

Mirko, the Hero he was a sidekick to for 5 years, She was black. And she was the most Badass out of all heroes. He didn’t want you feel this way, he wanted to find a way to make you smile. You make him smile every morning, so he should return the favor. He’ll have to figure out while he patrolling today.

Bakugou got his opportunity while patrolling with Midoriya. The town was holding a festival and a lot of people were attending, including 5-6 News reporters. The Mayor had asked them to guard the event, and of course, being heroes, they accepted.

A idiot wannabe Villain with his quirk being animal shapeshifting, turned into a giant, raging Ape. He was bent on destroying the festival and everything that makes people happy. He and Midoriya took him down in like 10 mins, and of course, reporters wanted them to say a few words or interview them. “Dynamite! Deku! Do you have any words to say?” a  reporter asked as she shoved her mic in his face.

“All I wanna say is... I  fucking Love Black People, They are awesome! Awesome, strong, and especially beautiful. Shout to all the Black Girls/Women everywhere.“ Then  he walked off to give the villain to the cops. Midoriya chimed in and said. “I agree with everything he said. Shout out to the Black People! If you feel like your lives don’t matter to anyone, just know and remember that they truly matter to us, and we’re going to do are hardest to make you all feel protected.“ Then he walked off, catching up to Bakugou.

____

“All I wanna say is... I  fucking Love Black People, They are awesome! Awesome, strong, and especially beautiful. Shout to all the Black Girls/Women everywhere.“

“I agree with everything he said. Shout out to the Black People! If you feel like your lives don’t matter to anyone, just know and remember that they truly matter to us, and we’re going to do are hardest to make you all feel protected.“

The video you watched on the plane was weeks old, but it stills get you feeling good. After you saw this video for the first time two weeks ago, you kinda been smug about it. But not in a bad way.

You felt safe Wearing your Dynamite mearch while blogging or singing. You showed a different side of your room, The side where your shrine to Pro Heroes were. Posters, pillows, and Chibi Dolls.

You even Admitted it to your fans that you were a Hero Nerd, and that brought more followers to your page. You felt great that you didn’t have to hide anymore. Little did you know, A certain Hero was following and loving it more. Making sure to leave a like and reblog on your content.

You were excited for this trip and the Concert you were opening for tonight. You also have a Meet & Greet, so you know this will be great for your content. You were also secretly hoping to run into your dream Hero. You know they say “Don’t Meet Your Hero!” But they can eat your ass because you’re making that happen! You’re favorite hero loves Black Women.

You started to wonder... It’s kind of weird how after you made your rant video about Black Love, He said that on the news. A surge  went through your body as your mind wondered to the fact that Dynamite might actually watch your videos! What if he comes to your concert? *Le gasp* What if he shows up at your meet and greet?! Your internal fangirl started coming out. You had tell yourself to calm down before the people on the plane think you’re being killed or something.

You took one selfie to show that you were on the way, posted it, and fell asleep. When you wake up, You’ll be in Japan.

____

Bakugou was changing out of his hero clothing, finally ending a long day at work. He had just got healed and patched up, and not he was prepping to leave when his phone went off. He reached for it and saw that had you had posted a selfie, and now you’re going live as you approach a familiar theatre.

His eyes widened, He knew exactly where that place was. Then Deku came bursting in, phone in his hand showing the same video he was watching. He had such excitement on his face, he honestly startled Bakugou the way Midoriya bursted in.

“KACCHAN! KACCHAN! WE CAN MAKE IT! WE CAN SEE AND MEET HER!“ Midoriya yelled. His eyes were showing that excitement when he meets a cool hero, a smile to match his excitement. “Get dressed quick! we can still make it on time to see her perform.“

“SHHHH! Shut The Fuck Up Before Someone Hears You Deku! and, I know. I’m getting ready.“ Bakugou had a slight blush on his face, and he was trembling. Why the fuck was he trembling?! He’s just going to meet a person that he enjoys. Someone that he watches damn near everyday and plays her music, nothing special right?

His heart was racing, he couldn’t control his feelings inside, but he did his best to not show them externally. He doesn’t want to look like Midoriya right now. But he had to admit it to himself, he was excited as hell.

Both of them put on hoodies and Sunglasses to hide their identity as they went to the concert. Bakugou’s trembling got a little more noticeable because he was in the same building as you. When you came on stage, Bakugou’s breath hitched. You were even more stunning in person, it was like you had a glow around you as you thanked everyone for coming out. 

As you began to sing, what normally happens to Bakugou, happened 10x more. As your voice hits his ears, he tuned out everyone here. He got tunnel vision, and all he could see and here was you. Midoriya looked at his friend and noticed that Bakugou had loving/relaxed smile on his face. His eyes glued on you. And that gave Midoriya an Idea.

When you were done with your performance, Midoriya dragged Bakugou backstage, to your dressing room. The guards weren’t letting them pass until Midoriya revealed who they were, then the doors flew open for them. (Perks of Being the #1 Heroes.) They knocked on the door, and heard your voice, Bakugou tensed up.  

The only thing that separated you and him was a door. Bakugou’s breathing got heavy, all common sense and the words he knew floated out his head. all he thought was “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! SHE’S BEHIND THIS DOOR!!!”

You asked who was it, and Of course, Midoriya was the one to speak first. “Hi, you don’t know us, but My name is Deku, and I’m the #1-“

The door flew opened before Midoriya had the chance to finish. You stood the with your eyes wide and jaw to the floor. In front of you stood Japan’s #1 heroes, you couldn’t believe it. “No fucking way!” was all you could get out. “I just wanted to say that I know you had a meet and greet, but we’re big fans, especially my partner here. We couldn’t wait” Midoriya finished before pushing Bakugou forward towards you. 

Bakugou stumbled but caught himself as he stood directly in front of you. There you stood, in all your glory, looking like a Black Goddess. He felt like  he wasn’t worthy to be in your presence. He had to collect himself, he had to say something to you! Wait a minute, he’s Katsuki fucking Bakugou! Dynamite! The Great Explosion Murder God! He shouldn’t be nervous! He’s got this

He cleared his throat, then you smiled at him. All that nerve he built, fluttered away like butterflies. He grew a love sick smile and looked at you lovingly. “I love you” Slipped out of his mouth. You gasped, then Bakugou realized what he said and nervously tried to correct his mistake. “Your Work! I love your work! I mean I don’t love you- not to sound like I hate you, I-I mean I actually think you’re amazing....ly talented! Oh Fuck! Let me start over! I’m Dynamite, but you already know that, but you can call me Bakugou. And I enjoy your work.”

Remember what they said about meet you heroes? EAT MY ASS FUCKERS! DYNAMITE IS A FAN!!!!

“He’s a huge fan! he watches everything you post!“ Deku chimed in with his teasing voice and smirk, which caused Bakugou to threaten Midoriya to shut up. You stepped aside to let the two pro heroes into your dressing room.

There the three of you talked. But it was mostly you and Bakugou talking. You find out that he’s been following you for a while and vice versa. You and Bakugou hit off so well, he invited you to lunch and you invited him to do a vid with him. 

It was like the more you talk, the more Bakugou grew to like you. He gave you his contact info because he wanted to keep in touch with you. He appreciated everything that you are, and would love to see more of you in person. Even offered to pay for you to come back soon.

The two of you started traveling to see one another, like him traveling to the states and you going to his country. It wasn’t long before you two started dating. You two doing vids together, and him recording you sing.

Lets just say the world couldn’t predict that you and Japan’s biggest Hero would be a huge Power Couple.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 08 second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Malarkey )

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Flower Town, Continued

The boys continue their ramble down main street. When they see an interesting crowd of people, Lan Wangji wants to hang back, actually verbalizing that it’s too crowded for him. He’s made a lot of communication progress since first meeting Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian reassures him, and hits him with a series of irresistibly fuckable coaxing expressions...

...and then grabs and drags him.

However, WWX only drags LWJ nearer to the crowd, not into it, letting go before he and Nie Huaisang step over to the group. Being taken out of his comfort zone is part of why Lan Wangji signed onto this Wei Wuxian ride, and as they grow closer WWX is learning LWJ’s particular parameters so he doesn’t cause a kernel panic total system crash.

Nie Huaisang recites some relevant poetry and Wei Wuxian praises him for being so cultured. I continue to love how sweet these two are with each other.

(more after the cut!)

Flower Boys

Lan Wangji gets rewarded for his bravery with a flower shower, and he blisses out, gazing at the pretty.

Nie Huaisang blisses out, gazing at Lan Wangji

Wei Wuxian valiantly tries to pretend he’s not totally heart eyes for Lan Wangji.

He fails.

Collecting the Yin Iron

Wen Chao is taking his own road trip, collecting Yin Iron and making trouble for our gang. This Yin Iron chunk is at the Flower Lady’s house.

Is...this a good way to store Yin Iron? It seems kinda precarious and, uh, stupid.

Next he goes to hassle the dancing rock lady, who, like OP, is a hystersister, but unlike OP, isn’t delighted about it.  Having her female essence Yin removed some years ago made her hot all the time and now she eats souls if she gets a chance. Mood. Rock Lady needs better vitamins. 

Anyway, Wen Chao is actually pretty effective at this Yin Iron getting thing, until he tries to catch Lan Wangji in a roadrunner trap anyway, and I don’t mind saying his dad should have more faith in him. 

In between Yin Iron stops, Wen Chao takes a moment to menace Wen Ching, blah blah Wen blah blah Yin, oh my god this storyline is the dullest. But we do get to see her beautiful scabbard up close.

Before Wen Chao frees the rock lady from her bonds, she has a magic circle on the ground, like the one Wei Wuxian broke in Episode 1 by stepping on it. Seems secure.  She is also bound in these chains. What are these chains (highlighted with white in the picture) supposed to accomplish, exactly?

Since they leave her front hand totally free, they are definitely not going to stop her from grabbing any of the dumbasses who consistently come and put offerings on the altar directly in front of her, is what I’m saying.

Wen Chao blasts the protection charm on the floor with some fire, and all of the chains fall off, so now Rock Lady is free to get her grouchy on. 

Let’s review the master plan for hiding the Yin Iron, shall we? Of 4 pieces of Yin Iron, Xue Yang hid one up his ass somewhere that’s never revealed. The other three were hidden in 1. a well-warded secret ice cave, 2. A public-access temple 3. A flower.  This is what happens when you don’t have a project manager.

Compatibility Score=Hard Nope

Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng sit down in a tavern for the world’s most antagonistic first date. 

As it turns out, Wen Qing is being helpful. Aggressively helpful. Also, we discover that even when he’s got googly eyes for a girl, future Clan Leader Jiang takes no shit when it comes to confrontations. This is a heartening development, considering his parents’ terrible dynamic. 

After Wen Qing delivers her message she tells her team to chill, and gets ready to sneak up the mountain to cause more trouble for her boss. 

Flower Lady House

The boys continue to be a few steps behind Wen Chao, getting to the flower lady’s house and finding nothing but a feather. 

Whenever we have an overhead shot of roofs I wonder where all the guards went. Possibly I have spent too much of my life playing Assassin’s Creed.

1. Nie Huaisang is very smart and observant 2. Nie Huaisang has super cool braids. There are even tiny side braids snaking up from his ears to his topknot.

Hey babe, how about some eye contact? Okay babe, but make it quick.

Dafan Mountain Town

Meet Granny, who is actually very nice and a good babysitter later in the story, but right now is baked out of her gourd.

Wei Wuxian tucks his sword in between his legs so he can make hand gestures while Nie Huaisang admires his hilt. 

We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind Because your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance they’re no friends of mine

The gang wanders through the deserted town, which seemed pretty creepy back when I was young and idealistic and hadn’t seen goddamn Yi City yet.

Now it seems quaint and well-maintained. Also the town isn’t really deserted; the inhabitants are in the makeup tent getting their zombie cracks painted on.

Rock Lady Temple

Baked Granny and Vaguely Hostile Temple Tender Guy are like “sure, you kids can sleep in the haunted house, have a nice time with that” and our gang just fucking goes to sleep all at the same time like they’ve never seen a monster movie before. 

Which is hotter: this fire, or this man asleep in this outfit with red laces on his vambraces and his red robe splayed all over the place and his knee up in the air and...ok, really there’s no need to even ask this question.

[too soon, OP, too soon. #FatalJourney]

Nie Huaisang wakes up all scared and startled, and Wei Wuxian subtly indicates his lack of concern.

Rock Lady Fight

Actually, of course, Nie Huaisang’s perceptions are right on the money, and the statue very sloooowly comes to life and attaaaaaaacks them.  Spinning ensues.

Wei Wuxian deploys his bondage talisman, this time in yellowish-white. He probably picked blue before to remind him of Lan Wangji’s headband.

[note: for more spin-fighting be sure to check out my fanvid!]

The actors are really good at all this mime work. The CGI doesn’t always live up to their efforts, but they manage to sell it, most of the time.

Lan Wangji is a great fighter, let’s see what cool moves he will use to get out of this “hand lightly resting on my sword hilt” situation.

Lan Wangji, are you fucking kidding me?

Eventually the fight choreographer comes back from his lunch break and lets Lan Wangji put his arms down. They finish their scuffle with the rock lady, sticking her back on her pedestal. Lan Wangji uses a magic flint-and-steel maneuver...

...and Wei Wuxian deploys some extra-fabulous talismans.

This effectively keeps the rock lady confined for the next several years, so--go go battle buds!

Zombie Attack

Once Rock Lady is taken care of, the undead zombies living puppets attack. 

Battle couple are on the same page throughout all of this, and decide to let go of the windows and doors they are holding closed in favor of putting a talisman on the center door only. Which, in the way of all zombie deterrents, works awesomely for about 2 minutes of screen time and then totally fails. 

Duhn-duhn-duhn! We end on a cliffhanger. What will happen? Will our intrepid gang survive? Is Jiang Cheng going to help, since he’s lurking just off camera? Nope 

Next rewatch is coming soon!

Soundtrack: 1. Safety Dance, Men Without Hats 2. Stand, REM

[shitty-tf2-headcanons]

Standard fluff question but mercs reacting to their lover telling them theyre gonna be parents?

Scout-

What?! You serious!? He’s gotta tell everybody!! Tell’s his ma, his 7 brothers, the entire team, Miss Pauling, the Administrator, Saxton Hale, Bidwell, Merasmus, etc. Everybody and their fish is gonna know you’re pregnant and expecting. Thanks Scout. 

Promises to be the best damn father there ever was! But he doesn’t know how to be one. So how does he learn? Asks his ma! Seeing as she was the only consistent parent in his life, it only feels right to talk to her about child raising. She tells him everything she knows from raising him and his brothers, all on her own, of course. He hangs onto her every word. He even takes notes.

Having any pregnancy cravings? This boy is sprinting to the store and buying damn near everything in there! Feet hurt? Lay back and let the massage master work his magic! Want some cuddles? He’s already holding you. This boy has got you covered!

Soldier-

You mean to tell him there’s going to be a little solider running around here soon? That’s wonderful! He’s been wanting to train a new recruit! Announces to the team that there will be a new soldier joining their ranks with a big stupid grin on his face. 

Already planning out how he’s gonna turn your kid into a skilled soldier. First, they must have a sensible haircut. Second, he must tell them the story and war strategy of Sun Tzu. Third, he shall introduce your kid to his heads outside. Fourth, he will blah blah blah blah...just be warned that Soldier will someday teach your kid the glory of fighting naked while covered in honey.

Wants to immediately start looking at baby names. You already know this man is gonna wanna name your kid something like America or Liberty. If you’re cool with those names, then go right ahead. But if no, then suggest a name you like and just say it’s patriotic or American. He’ll believes you. Still insists that your kids middle name be something like America.

Pyro-

Baby...they’re gonna be a parent? R-Really?? You just made them the happiest pyromaniac around! Will burst into tears under their mask and is going to tackle you into a hug. They’re so happy!! Not even pyrovision could make them feel this good! Everyone on the team can just feel the happiness radiating off of them.

They already know they’ll love their baby unconditionally but what if the baby is scared of them? They look like a monster in and out of the suit...so they decided to ditch the suit for a while and just wrap their entire body in bandages. Their lover tells them they look silly and they should just show the baby how they really look. From then, Pyro actually stops wearing his suit and mask when off the battlefield

Pyro wants to decorate the nursery with you. So that means painting Pyroland scenery on the walls and building a crib. Pyro also leaves all their stuffies in the nursery (even Balloonicorn) for their baby when they’re finally born.

Demo-

THE DEGROOT CLAN SHALL PREVAIL!!! THE NEXT GENERATION OF DEGROOT’S WILL BE EVEN STRONGER!! Ahem, yeah Demo is pretty happy when he learns the news. Before you know it, every member of the DeGroot clan knows about the pregnancy and is sending the both of you care packages. The care packages are mostly full of bombs and fireworks.

DeGroot clan tradition demands that the parents abandon their kid and only reclaim them when they learn their true bombing potential. Tradition also demands they lose both their eyes. Demo will understand if you are rightfully horrified by these traditions. He is too. So he just says to hell with tradition! He’s never gonna abandon his kid and make them go through what he did! And it’s their choice if they want to lose their eyes or not! He rather you and your kid be happy than make sure some dumb tradition is followed.

Doesn’t drink as much anymore when he learns you’re pregnant. He doesn’t want to give you’re pregnant self a harder time by being black out drunk all the time. He’s also doing it for the baby. He wants his kid to think of him as some fun bomb throwing dad, not a fun bomb throwing drunk dad.

Heavy-

You’re...having a baby? This...this is the best news he’s heard in a while! Is going to pull you into a bear hug and spin you around while laughing jovially, tears are beginning to prick into his eyes. Will carry you all the way to med bay just so he could tell his favorite doctor the good news. He’s carrying you to every team member and telling them the good news too. Not long after he’s gonna call his mom and sisters and tell them the good news. He’s all smiles for weeks after you tell him.

Becomes 10x more caring. Will have Medic check you daily to see if everything is okay. Will do tons of research on what you’re not supposed to do during pregnancy and will make sure you don’t do any of those things. This man will carry everywhere you need to go, can’t have you straining yourself now, can we? Makes sure you and the baby are as comfy as possible.

Along with becoming more caring, he also becomes a lot more protective. No one except Medic (even then Medic’s only allowed to get up close and personal when doing your check ups) is allowed anywhere near you. Heavy becomes something of a personal bodyguard. Will glare angrily at anyone who gets too close to you. Will also not hesitate to throw somebody across the room if they do manage to get close. Eventually everybody learns to stay out of your way. They also realize they shouldn’t do anything reckless or dangerous in front of you in fear of incurring Heavy’s wrath. 

Engineer-

His honeybee is pregnant?! Yeehaw!! This calls for a celebration! This boy is gonna throw a whole ass party with the team and just cook an entire feast for everyone. Spends the entire time insisting that you eat enough for two and making sure you’re having a good time. Never fails to remind everyone that you’re pregnant, eventually Demo and Sniper make it into a drinking: every time the word “pregnant” comes out of Engie’s mouth, they take a shot.

Dad mode overload. Engie’s days are now spent just tending to you. He’s going to be cooking you your favorite breakfast and dinner everyday from then on. Full body massages are going to become a lot more common. Will fluff your pillows to their most fluffiest state and make sure your bed is as comfy as possible. Cleans up any mess you make with no hesitation. You’d think he would be tired from all this extra work but no. He’s just as energized and motivated as ever. 

Just like Pyro, he wants to build a nursery with you. He’ll leave the painting and decorating to you while he starts building the crib and every other piece of furniture needed for a nursery. Will also not hesitate to build his own toys for your baby to play with when their born.

Medic-

You both kinda find out at the same time actually. He’s doing your monthly check up when he finds out you’re pregnant. Then he tells you and it just kinda spirals from there. He’s all smiles and cheers when you both tell the team but that all but disappears when the two of you are alone that night. He never imagined he would be a father...isn’t he too old anyway? Those thoughts quickly leave when he realizes how excited you are. Maybe having a baby with you, the love of his life, won’t be too bad after all. Plus the thought of having a little apprentice gets him all giddy.

Just like Heavy, you’re gonna have daily check ups from then on. As your doctor and lover, he has to make sure you and your child is at peak health. Will get snappy if you try to skip an appointment. Will also have a panic attack if he sees something even slightly wrong with you or the baby. Even his doves look a little stressed. So it kinda becomes the patient’s job to calm the doctor down.

Will have his doves on guard duty. Whenever he’s not around you, one of his doves (mostly Archimedes) will stick with you and keep a close eye on you. In the event that something does happen to you, his dove will report back to him and squawk at him. That’s Medics cue to drop everything and attend to you. 

Sniper-

Not gonna lie, this man is gonna faint when you tell him. Believe him when he says he’s overjoyed, but he’s scared out of his mind. He’s not fit to be a dad!! He pisses in jars and throws it at people!! He shoots people for a living!! HE LIVES IN A VAN!!! What kind of normal dad does that?!? Snipes is gonna cling to you even more and ask for constant reassurances. He doesn’t want to screw this whole dad thing up...

Will ask Engie to help renovate his van so there’s more room for you and the baby, in the end it kind of resembles a trailer. Fully intends on traveling to places with you and the baby. Witnessing the world’s many wonders with the two of you will only make those moments that much sweeter.

Just like the other guys, he wants you to be as comfy as possible. So that means knitting a couple blankets and sweaters for you if you ever get cold. Will also do the same thing for the baby, he’ll even try to make little booties for them too!

Spy-

excuse me what the fuck??? Doesn’t faint like Sniper but gets very pale and sweaty. Oh god this can’t be happening again...once was already enough. Seriously plans on running away, he’s already trying to fake his death, when it dawns on him: Scout turned out to be disaster. He wasn’t there for Scout...so there’s a chance of your kid turning into a Scout 2.0...no...he won’t allow that to happen. Spy promises to stay and raise your kid right. He refuses to make the same mistake again.

You think he’ll allow you and your child to live on the base? Ha, don’t make him laugh! Being the extra bitch he is, he is going to buy you a whole ass house and it’s all yours. Fully decorated and everything of course. Being the shitty good expecting father like he is, he’ll spend a lot of his time there with you. It starts to feel like home after a while.

When you’re sleeping, he’ll just hold you and stroke your belly. He’s scared. He knows almost nothing about being a real father. It would be so easy to run away. But...he can’t. He loves you far too much to abandon you both now. Most nights are spent like this during the pregnancy.

Miss Pauling-

Aw crap, how is she gonna work and be pregnant at the same time? She’s always wanted kids but why did she have to get pregnant when she’s working a job that only allows her 1 day off a year. She’ll try to hide her pregnancy and keep working. But the Administrator knows everything and just tells her to go home for as long she needs. In return, she just asks that you take over for Pauling. Pauling will still insist on helping you with your new job.

Pauling is going to be feeling a little down now that she’s basically jobless and forced to try to relax for months. Just read gun catalogs to her and give her hot chocolate and she’ll feel a little better. Though being with you does improve her spirits greatly.

Is gonna wanna spruce up her apartment and bit and make some more room for the baby. So that means buying new furniture and painting the walls purple. With all the purple, you have a feeling your kid is gonna be conditioned to like the color. Just don’t mention this to Pauling cause she will chase you down and insist on painting you purple too. 

[justsomekpopstuff]

Protest (Youngbin College!AU)

Requested by @jin-hua

Pairing: Youngbin x Reader

MASTERLIST: to find it, just look up “justsomekpopstuff masterlist” on my blog, since external links still are not fixed. It should be in there. Sorry about the inconvenience!

student: Kim Youngbin

major: political science

Youngbin from his freshmen yeah was considered a natural-born leader

and obviously he therefore became considered the “leader” of the campus

he was voted student body president his sophomore year

so clearly everyone thinks he is more than capable enough as a leader

he helps out every year at freshman orientation because he knows how scary it can be to move up to college

he wants to make sure all the lil freshmen coming in don’t freak out too much

recruited both Inseong and Dawon  to help out as well because they definitely have the personality to make the younger ones feel welcome

also called the “campus dad” due to his dad-like personality

can and will take care of every single person on campus that is younger than him

they are his children

he must protect

due to his leadership and public speaking skills, he obviously chose political science as his major

president of the debate team on campus

already has an internship lined up for him after graduation too

because of all this, he is a very big rule follower

he likes doing things by the book and keeping things in order

however, even he had to admit that there were certain things about the way the campus was run that he still didn’t like

but because he didn’t want to compromise his position or disrespect the dean of the campus

that was, of course, until he met

he was in his dorm when he got a call from the Dean of Student Affairs

the Dean told him that there was a person standing in front of the student union holding up a sign “Education is corrupt, reform NOW” 

the Dean asked him then to talk to the student and get them to leave peacefully because they were being a “disturbance”

he really couldn’t say no to them, so he sighed and accepted, closing his notes and leaving his dorm

as he walked over to the student union where this student was, he thought to himself

he thought...maybe....he didn’t really want to stop them

he wasn’t really a fan of how the education takes advantage of its students with very little reward

and after all, you had a right to protest and make your opinion known as a student

so who was he to tell you to stand down?

he made his way to the student union to see you, standing there very stoic by the entrance with your sign in hand, just like the dean had said

you looked so strong and confident, Youngbin could hear his heart begin to beat in his ears

he walked up to you sheepishly, hands hidden in his pockets which was very different from his usual professional-looking demeanor to stand in front of you

“So...hi...the Dean of Student Affairs asked me to see if you would be willing to stand down...maybe?” he asked quietly

“No”

your response had made his heart beat even faster

you responded so quickly and with such power that he barely had time to think of a response

“Um...may I ask why...you’re doing this?”

“Isn’t it obvious,” you asked him with a slightly sarcastic tone. “The university is demanding more from its students than it is returning. They say they are preparing us for the future and yet give us nothing in return. There is no assurance that what we do here is going to bring us any kind of luck in the real world. On top of that, most students are being forced to pay more money and take more credits than they can handle leaving thim exhausted and in debt, and yet the university just keeps asking for more. It is time for that to change. Education should not come at the cost of mental and monetary exhaustion. That’s just the facts”

Youngbin definitely knew you had a point, and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he didn’t agree with you

you were proud and true to your word

you definitely had guts, and to be honest, stopping you was now the last thing that he wanted to do

however, he did make a commitment to the dean

so one last try was needed

“have you...tried talking to the dean...maybe?”

“i’ve tried to contact the dean every semester about changing the policy, and I have been ignored and blown off every single time. I’m done with not being listened to. Its time things changed, and I don’t care how long I have to stand out here until something does.”

“...Okay.”

Youngbin looked to your feet and saw extra signs sitting there, most likely made for other students that wished to join

he grabbed one that said something similar to yours and stood next to you quietly

“...What are you doing?” you asked

“Joining you. You have a good point, and I agree. And, if you cant beat them, join them”

“...aren’t you like, the head of student affairs or something?”

“your point being?” he looked at you with a questioning look on his face.

“...okay...”

the two of you stood there in confident silence, getting some looks from other students and faculty that passed by

that was, until an hour later when the campus police showed up and dragged the two of you to the dean of student affairs’ office

you two sat there in the uncomfortable chairs as the dean stared the two of you down with an angry look

the dean lectured the two of you for what felt like hours, talking about how inappropriate your actions were, and how they were especially disappointed in Youngbin, who was the leader of the campus

you honestly felt like you both were going to be suspended at the least

however, thankfully due to Youngbin’s position and good graces, the two of you were only sentenced to doing a work study in the student food court for two months, starting right after the both of you ended classes

the reasoning?

“maybe being an actual part of this campus will straighten you out”

you rolled your eyes once you were out of the office, but you had to admit you were glad you were not expelled

you were about to turn to Youngbin to talk to him when you heard the dean call him back into the office

you gave him a sorrowful look, and he gave you a look in return that told you he would be fine

you only hoped he was right

not wanting to be there for the aftermath, you went back to your dorm to get some rest before you had to start your sentence

the next day after your classes, you made your way to the restaurant you were assigned to work at

you met with the grumpy and tired looking manager as they gave you a rushed run through of the cafe, throwing an apron and hat at you before sticking you in front of a sink full of dishes

you sighed, knowing that you would be seeing this view for a while, and got to work

your silent labor, however, would be cut short because about an hour later, Youngbin was shoved in right next to you

“good to see you aren’t dead” you joked as he got to work on the other big stack of dishes 

“yeah, but I did get an extra earful of ‘you should be ashamed - a man of your position on campus?’ blah, blah, blah...” he trailed off as you chuckled

“well, you are their golden boy. They expect more from you than to ‘disobey the order’” 

“yeah, well sometimes the order needs to be changed. You said it yourself. Change has to happen eventually for the betterment of the campus. Sometimes it just takes on person to stand out”

“So what ended up happening?”

“Oh yeah they kicked me out of ASI for the rest of the semester”

you stopped and looked at him, feeling guilty that you had caused him to lose his position

“I am so sorry, this is all my fault...”

“I don’t regret it for a single second...and hey, they didn’t say anything about me re-running next semester” he smiled at you

“You sure this won’t like, throw your entire future out the window?”

“Even if it does, I still wouldn’t change a thing”

the two of you smiled at each other and got back to washing the dishes in a comfortable silence

It was pitch dark out by the time the two of you finished your work and were allowed to clock out

you were exhausted from standing all day and all you wanted to do was go back to your dorm and sleep for days - even though you had to repeat the same thing tomorrow

“Hey, its dark out, maybe I should accompany you back to your dorm?” Youngbin asked you

“If you want,” you replied

the two of you walked in silence again to the dorms, taking in the cool night air

“So, I was thinking...” Youngbin started as you began to near the buildings

“What?”

“I think you’re pretty cool, and you have a lot of good ideas...I’m interested in getting to know you some more...so maybe tomorrow, once we are done with our shift, we could, I don’t know...grab a late-night bite to eat? If you want...”

you chuckled as he slowly and awkwardly got his words out

“I would love to,” you smiled at him as the two of you reached your building’s doors

“Great,” Youngbin smiled at you. “It’s a date.”

“It certainly is”

needless to say, that night was the beginning of a very bright future for the two of you

Youngbin as a boyfriend is honestly a dream

like

he knows how to treat you RIGHT

he knows that you are passionate about respect and being treated as an equal

and he takes that into account regularly in your relationship, asking for your opinion on things and making sure he knows where your boundaries are

he trusts that you know how to take care of yourself

but there are still times when he will pamper you and take care of you

he also knows that if anyone wrongs him, you will have his back

and the person who wronged him will have to face your wrath

which is very comforting to him that he has a kick-ass s/o who can stand up for themselves

you and the boys lead the protest to get Youngbin back into ASI as the president

there’s flyers and banners and protests involved

and honestly he could feel the heart eyes intensifying

you found out that he had almost lost his internship due to the whole ASI thing

and you felt so guilty that you went down to the place to make a case for him 

needless to say they are now hiring both of you right after graduation

speaking of the boys

you become parent number 2 to the ragtag group

you make sure that they are being treated well and taking care of themselves

Youngbin also enlists your help to take care of the incoming freshman and make sure that they transition without too much trouble

you are essentially the campus power couple

and you wouldn’t have it any other way

[iatethepomegranate]

Wally getting backed into a corner, hurt and unable to escape. How would he react if Dick tried to protect him? If Dick had gotten hurt would he blame himself?

(So… I kinda took this prompt and wrote a 2k fic instead. Oops? I was originally going to do pre-season 2 but then I thought: what would make this worse? Ah, post-Endgame. Wally is back because of *mumblemumble* reasons.)

The wound in his leg was deep. Too deep. Wally slumped against the wall. Every time he tried to tap into the speed force, the wound bled faster, pain lancing through his thigh with enough force to make him see stars. It would heal eventually, but eventually did not help when half a dozen heavily-armed and heavily-muscled guys were bearing down upon him.

He let himself slide to the floor, lightheaded from the effort it had taken to remain upright. He wasn’t even supposed to be here. Black Canary hadn’t cleared him for active duty yet, and he didn’t even have a new hero name to replace the one he’d given to Bart.

But most of the Team had been on other missions, and he wasn’t about to let Nightwing go into the field without backup. God, he hoped Nightwing was in better shape than he was. This was supposed to be a simple recon mission. In and out. Automated defence systems Nightwing could take out in his sleep.

Their intel had been wrong. Badly wrong.

And now Wally was trapped in a corner, his rabbit-heart pushing blood out of his wound faster than his body could clot it.

One of the men had a scythe. A scythe. It still glinted with Wally’s blood, wicked and hungry for more.

“We could take him,” said the shortest of the men. “He could have useful intel.”

“We’re not equipped to trap a speedster,” the scythe-wielder replied. “Besides, he’ll bleed out before we get him to base. Keep it clean. No witnesses.”

“What about the other guy?”

“Psh. The other six went after him. He’s dead.”

Wally didn’t want to believe that. Nightwing–Dick–was endlessly resourceful. He’d faced worse odds before. 

Besides, weren’t they owed some good fortune by now? They’d been through enough.

Six Months Ago

“Dick, we need to talk about that kiss.”

“Do we?” Dick still had a weird look on his face, like hefully expected to wake up any second. Wally couldn’t blame him.

“Uh, yeah, dude,” Wally told him. “It’s not every day yourbest friend plants one on you.”

“It’s not every day your best friend comes back from thedead,” Dick said, his voice oddly cool. Wally tried not to take it personally;there was tension in Dick’s shoulders that betrayed his discomfort.Embarrassment, more likely. He’d kissed Wally in front of the entire team.

“Speedforce.”

“Whatever.” Again, that wasn’t really in character for him.Dick had become more and more fact-oriented as he’d grown older, possibly aside-effect of leading the team while running a complex undercover operation…and being Kaldur’s only point of contact for a long time before Artemis joinedhim.

Wally sat on the couch in Dick’s Blüdhaven apartment. Dickhad made a hasty escape after the debrief at the Watchtower, and Wally hadgiven him a ten-minute head start before coming after him.

He’d hoped sitting down would encourage Dick to do the same,but he just kept standing there, his hands curling into fists and uncurlingrepeatedly. It wasn’t like him to have such a blatant tell. Wally could usuallyread his tells anyway, owing to how close they’d once been, but this was somethingelse.

“I’m not angry,” Wally said. “I’m just surprised and I wannaknow where that came from.” He could feel his hands shaking, but out of respectfor the fact Dick clearly couldn’t hide his tells, he didn’t try to hide his,either.

“You really don’t know?” Dick said in a small voice. Wally’sheart stuttered.

“Let’s just say I don’t,” he said. His voice as small asDick’s. Could this mean what he thought it meant?

“Wally…” Dick’s voice cracked, and he lowered his gaze toblink rapidly. “I’ve been in love with you for years.”

“How long?” Wally croaked.

“Seven years.” Dick let out one rueful laugh. “Maybe evenlonger.”

So, Wally had been dealing with his fair share of curveballssince he was unceremoniously dumped back into the physical world after spendingmonths in the speedforce. But none of them had knocked the wind out of his gutlike this one.

“I’m still fuzzy on my timelines, dude,” Wally said, and hecouldn’t stop his voice from shaking. “When was what, exactly?”

“Not long before we saved Superboy,” Dick replied. He wasstill tense.

“I… me too, then. Huh.” Wally had never given it muchthought, mainly because he hadn’t thought it’d amount to anything. He’d alwaysbeen good at denial.

“You…” Dick let out a sharp breath. “Are you saying…?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my God.” Dick finally flung himself onto the couch, onlyto hide his face in his hands. “I’ve been sitting on this all this time for no reason.I thought you were straight.”

Wally snorted. “Ditto.”

“This is a disaster,” Dick muttered.

“Guess we better do some crisis management,” Wally replied,poking Dick’s shoulder. “I�� look. Everything’s a mess right now. I need time toget my head sorted out, but… I wouldn’t mind giving us a shot… I mean, if youwant.”

“I want, Wally.” He sat up, his blue eyes overbright as if holdingback tears. “I thought I’d lost you forever.”

“I’m here, babe. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Now

“Shit, it’s Nightwing!”

Wally jerked awake, just as one of the guys looming over himtook an escrima stick to the head. How long had he been out?

A streak of bluecrossed his vision, and then another guy was down. Nightwing slowed, and eventhrough the haze of Wally’s blood loss, he could plainly see the look of sheerfury etched onto his face. He was pissed,and all on Wally’s behalf. That was kind of flattering. And maybe a little hot.

Wally had definitelylost too much blood.

The four remainingmen took on Nightwing at once. The motions made Wally lightheaded, but hecouldn’t stop watching. Nightwing ducked, swerved, hit, blocked, kicked. Thescythe caught his arm, flicking blood in an arc. Nightwing grabbed the scytheand slammed the handle into the man’s face, knocking him out cold.

The other three went down quickly. Nightwing stood theregasping for a moment, pressing a hand to his bleeding arm. Then he rushed toWally’s side, pressing a cloth to his leg.

“Nightwing to…” He growled under his breath. “To anyone. Original Kid Flash is down. Epicblood loss. Need immediate assistance at my coordinates.” Nightwing pressed thecloth harder to Wally’s leg, but Wally couldn’t feel very much anymore. “Hey.Dude. Don’t you dare die on me.”

Wally must’ve closed his eyes. He couldn’t remember doingthat. He forced them open, but they were heavier than a food truck.

“I’m… trying.” It was all he could promise. God, he wastired.

“Wally, you promised.” Dick took in a sharp breath. “Staywith me. I still technically outrank you. I will make that an order.”

Wally laughed weakly. “Yes, sir.”

He tried to stay awake, tried to listen to Nightwing’sincreasingly frantic rambling, but his injuries could not be denied. Soon enough,he was dragged out of the waking world once again.

Next he woke, he was in a nice hospital bed. The soft mechanicalwhirring told him that he was on the Watchtower. Dick wasn’t nearby. Where was…

Oh, no. He’d been hurt, too. He didn’t heal like Wallycould.

Wally sat up, probing the spot on his thigh the wound hadbeen. He found a bandage, and the telltale bumps of stitches. They’d dissolvesoon enough. There was an IV hooked up to his arm, so he’d have to drag thedamn thing with him to find Dick.

He should’ve fought harder. Dick probably already tired fromfighting the rest of the guards, and then he had to save Wally’s sorry ass. Wallywasn’t even supposed to be on the mission. Maybe he should’ve listened to Dick’sconcerns and stayed home.

Sometimes having super-speed was a curse. Too many thoughtsat once.

The doors leading out to the corridor hissed open, and thenin walked Dick, having replaced his Nightwing gear with a pair of sweats and sunglasses.His arm was bandaged to hell and back, held in place in a sling.

“Hey,” he said quietly. “Sorry I wasn’t here. Had to debriefBats. Been awake long?”

Wally shook his head. Dick came to sit beside him, wincing alittle.

“How’s the leg?”

“Just waiting for the stitches to dissolve.” Wally wanted togather Dick into a hug, but couldn’t bear to cause him any more pain. “How’sthe arm?”

“Our wannabe Grim Reaper got me pretty good,” Dick said,seeming to relax now that he was talking about his own injuries. “I’ll be offactive duty for a few weeks. Have to watch for infections, look after thebandages, blah blah blah. It’ll be fine. I’m fit, and Alfred will make sure Ieat my vegetables.”

Wally had gotten Dick off patrol for weeks. God damn it. Heshould’ve been faster, smarter, or not even gone on the mission at all. Dick hadbeen relying on him, and he just made the whole thing worse.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t do that,” Dick replied. “We weren’t meant to have anyresistance at all. Besides, everyone gets hurt. If anyone should beapologising, it should be me… for not getting to you sooner.”

Wally didn’t feel any better. Dick always tookresponsibility for things he didn’t have to.

“Don’t give me that look,” Dick said sharply. “It’s not yourfault you got hurt.”

“It’s not your fault either!” Wally hadn’t planned to yell,but it burst out of him like he was possessed.

“Okay,” Dick said primly. “Neither of us is at fault.”

“No, I…”

“Shh. The decision’s been made. You didn’t mess up, andneither did I.”

“Since when do you ever give up responsibility?”

“When it’s the best decision. This isn’t the first time. Youknow that.” Dick sighed, and the fight drained out of him. “Wally, I can’t argueabout this anymore.” He swallowed visibly, and the fingers on his unbound hand grippedthe edge of the bed. “I nearly lost you. Again. Please… can we just…”

Wally still hated himself a little bit for getting Dickhurt, but he couldn’t keep fighting, either. They were both exhausted andemotionally wrung out.

So Wally set all of it aside and put his hand on the smallof Dick’s back. “Let’s get out of here. You can watch me eat my body weight inpasta and put on a bad movie we can laugh at.”

Dick managed a tiny smile, but one that was far more genuine.“I like the sound of that.”

They hadn’t really resolved anything, but sometimes it wasbetter to take a step back and deal with it later. The fear of losing Wallyagain wasn’t leaving Dick’s eyes any time soon, and Wally wasn’t about to shakeoff the guilt of getting Dick hurt, but they could comfort each other tonight.

Sometimes that was more important.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

What would u say are the best and worst book narrated by each character ?

I sat down to come up with my least favorite book by each narrator and had a pretty easy time of it — there’s an unfortunate dip in quality in the series around #39 - #43 that I can point to as definitely not my faves — and then ended up totally baffled by how to choose JUST ONE favorite book by each narrator, because such a task is almost impossible.  In conclusion, I really love Animorphs, as you probably never would have guessed from reading this blog.  So, with a little cheating, here goes:

Tobias

Least favorite: #43, The Test

The plot of this book pretty much requires that all of the characters, but most notably Rachel and Jake, act in ways that really don’t fit with their behavior for the rest of the series.  My cynical hypothesis about What Was The Ghost Even Thinking rhymes with schmender schtereotyping, but even if I more kindly assume that everyone was just acting strange to jerk Taylor around, I can’t really enjoy this book.

Favorite: #49, The Diversion

Tobias’s point of view works so well for this book, because its plot draws attention to his status as a partial outsider not only for human society as a whole but also for his team.  He’s literally trapped in a liminal space that here actually gives him a lot of perspective on his friends’ families — and the importance of sticking close to his own.  (And by that I mean 93% Ax, 7% Loren.)

Other favorite: #23, The Pretender

Speaking of Tobias being sort of stuck between roles, this book is so good because it shows the strength of his position as both able to access and able to escape being human.  He moves flexibly between a ton of different roles in this book — a leader to the hork-bajir, a supporter to Jake, a parent to himself, a son to Elfangor, a quasi-hawk, a quasi-human, a quasi-andalite — and does so with astounding grace and aplomb.  Resting bitchface has never seemed like a cooler accidental superpower.

Another favorite: #33, The Illusion

This book is the brutal shadow-self to #23, instead shutting Tobias out of a whole bunch of different roles over the course of the plot.  It does however contain one of the series’s best villains (Taylor is terrifyingly sympathetic) and some of its best moments of heartwarming body horror in the final battle.

Ax

Least favorite: #8, The Alien

Honestly, there’s nothing really wrong with this book, but there’s nothing amazingly right about it either.  It has a few great moments (Jake’s naïve optimism at the kandron’s destruction giving way to fear for Tom, Ax having dinner with Cassie’s family, Tobias definitely not tattling on Ax) but overall the plot is just kind of inane and doesn’t do much to move the series forward.

Favorite: #38, The Arrival

Estrid et al. act as such a cool check-in for not only how much Ax has grown as a person through spending too much time around humans, but also how much the team as a whole has grown until they are actually more effective warriors than a group of battle-trained andalite assassins.  Every time I reread this book I end up making noises of triumph and fist-pumping the air, no matter how public my location is at the time.

Favorite favorite: #46, The Deception

This plot hinges on the stark contrast between Ax’s terrible and unavoidable awareness about the horror of open war and the Animorphs’ lack of standard of comparison beyond “hey, remember D-Day?”  MM3 and #28 both do important work to condemn humanity from the outside, but this book actually uses Ax’s perspective primarily for celebrating the whole human species from an outsider’s point of view.

Marco

Least favorite: #40, The Other

As I’ve mentioned here, at this book’s core is an interesting concept that very emphatically does not age well.  On top of the cringe-inducing attempt at an After School Special treatment of the idea that (*gasp*) queer men with AIDS are human too, it also has a largely nonsensical plot that strains both credulity and logic.

Favorite: #25, The Extreme

It’s a brilliant use of Marco’s perspective to comment on the constraints and terrifying outer reaches of Jake’s leadership, one that also contains a highly enjoyable mix of humor and horror.  Because Marco.  I could reread this one a thousand times and still find new aspects of the narration to delight in.

Also favorite: #15, The Escape

This book makes amazing use of Marco’s unreliable narration and lack of self-insight to contrast his willingness to imagine himself confronting sharks with his willingness to run from them upon a real encounter, along with his determination to kill his mom and his inability to stop himself from saving her.  Marco is at his most human in this book, and also his most lovable.

Also also favorite: #51, The Absolute

The governor of probably-California is one of my favorite minor characters in the series, and I absolutely love the dynamic between Marco-Tobias-Ax any time it occurs (this book, #46, #30, #49), meaning that this surprisingly fun aside acts as a much-needed breath of fresh air and comic relief in between the Animorphs losing the morphing cube (#50) and blowing up the Yeerk Pool (#52).  Plus, Marco + tank  = OTP.

Cassie

Least favorite: #39, The Hidden

I’ve said most of this before, but this book is just… nonsensical.  And it’s not delightfully nonsensical like parts of #26 or #14, it’s mostly cringe-inducingly nonsensical.

Favorite: #29, The Sickness

Arguably this is the best Animorphs book, both IMHO and by fan consensus.  It’s got a simple but devlishly difficult plot, a ton of great characterization moments for all six kids, a handful of brilliant devices and settings that meld beautifully to Cassie’s overall character arc, and a wide-reaching perspective on the importance of overcoming difference that is a huge part of what makes these books so good.  It’s also funny, horrifying, edge-of-your-seat engaging, and tear-inducingly beautiful at the very end.

Also my favorite: #4, The Message

Whereas #29 is probably just hands-down the best book ever written, #4 holds a special place in my heart because it’s the first Animorphs book I ever read and the one that convinced me to go find the rest of the series.  This one is sweet and mystical, bleak with the dawning realization that these poor defenseless cinnamon rolls are in this war alone but also hopeful with the realization that these precious cinnamon rolls are in this war together.

Jake

Least favorite: #47, The Resistance

Although I’m of the opinion that #41 is more poorly-plotted, this book manages to be both poorly plotted and glaringly racist.  Its plot doesn’t make sense on several different levels, not the least that Visser Three knows how to find the hork-bajir valley in this book and then apparently forgets how to get there for the entire rest of the series.  And don’t get me started on Jake’s reprehensible behavior from the moment he casually declares Tom “as good as dead,” through to him trying to boss Toby about what’s best for Toby herself, all the way on to him being a jerk to Rachel and Marco. Blah.

Favorite: #31, The Conspiracy

Unlike #47, this book actually makes really good use of Jake’s character flaws to drive the plot forward — he’s bad at being vulnerable, and that ends up being a huge problem for his team.  It also leans hard on the irony of Jake being the only one with a “textbook” family (i.e. upper-middle class, heteronormative and monogamous, European-American, traditionally gendered, outwardly happy) and also being the only one under constant threat for his life any time he’s at home, thereby accomplishing one of the series’s better comments on the fact that children’s lives aren’t as simple as we’d like to think.

Favoriter: #53, The Answer

There are definitely flaws with RL implications in this book, but the plot is so freaking brilliant that I can still regard it as a Problematic Fave.  The final battle is so well-engineered and the Moral Event Horizon is so terrifying as it swings by that I assign this book to myself for rereading any time I’m struggling to write action or battle.  It’s a scary, awful book, but also a very fitting capstone to the series.

Favoritest: #26, The Attack

This setting is so cool.  This plot is so cosmic and yet so personal.  This use of the chee is so bitingly brilliant in its commentary on pacifism as a luxury not everyone can afford.  This story has so many moments that are either heartbreaking callbacks (the opening scene with Tom’s memories from #6) or bloodcurdling foreshadowing (Jake and Rachel’s casually absolute trust that each will be willing and able to kill the other if necessary).  This narration feels like a middle-aged and yet middle-school protagonist struggling to figure out who he wants to be — and defeating a cosmic power at its own game with the power of love.  I could gush forever.

Rachel

Least favorite: #48, The Return

Again, there’s nothing truly wrong with this book; it’s just a silly and inconsequential aside into the main character’s maybe-dreams at a time when the plot outside her head is heating up to the boiling point.  It makes this whole thing come off kind of like Bilbo sleeping through the Battle of Five Armies.

Favorite: #27, The Exposed

I’m not normally a big one for romance, but this book makes me ship Rachel and Tobias so hard that my tiny bitter walnut of a heart grows two sizes every time I read it.  Rachel has such great self-awareness that she doesn’t like any situation she cannot control or at least do violent battle against, and yet she dives into the bottom of the ocean with both eyes open and her chin up because that’s what she has to do to protect the rest of her team.  Crayak has no idea what he’s talking about when it comes to asking her to turn on her loved ones.

Additional favorite: #32, The Separation

As I’ve said, I didn’t really get this book until I realized that it’s not so much about Rachel herself as it is about how the rest of her team views her, and how she defies their simple categorizations, both well-meaning (Cassie) and not (Jake), through simply being herself.  Rachel is both masculine and feminine, both tough and vulnerable, and she makes no apologies for any of it.

And another favorite: #37, The Weakness

This book has an important role for the rest of the series in that it shows how the Animorphs’ guerilla tactics can easily be taken too far, and also how Jake’s discernment of his teammates’ strengths and weaknesses keeps them all alive.  Rachel makes a fair number of logical-seeming decisions in this book that prove short-sighted, and of course it all leads to her and Jake’s brutal Checkovian epiphany at the end.

Added additional also favorite: #22, The Solution

A brutal but powerful read, this book focuses on the ugliest parts of Rachel’s personality (her sadism toward David) but also the most powerful ones (her compassion for Saddler and protectiveness toward both Jake and Jordan).  It also shows that her reckless taste for violence and her boundless desire to protect her families both biological and found are actually two sides of the same part of her personality.

Okay I have a lot of favorite Rachel books: #17, The Underground

It’s oat-freaking-meal.  Only it’s not just oat-freaking-meal, and I’m not talking about the extra-tasty maple and ginger flavoring.  It’s a biological weapon.  It’s a way to harm the enemy, but only through harming prisoners of war.  It’s a social dilemma the like of which we rarely see in children’s books.  It’s a lesson in decision making under uncertainty.  It’s a moral imperative, but no one is quite sure what that imperative is saying.  It’s a deconstruction of the implied assumption that it’s possible to write adventure stories in which no one gets hurt.  It’s awesome.  It’s hilarious.  It’s disturbing as fuck.  Welcome to Animorphs.

[keyofjetwolf]

Jet Wolf Summarizes Act 40

The manga and I kind of hate each other. This is unfortunate, but still, I’m determined to come out of this with something. Rather than spend energy on a liveblog that’s increasingly negative, I’m reading each manga act (mostly) silently, and then writing up summaries at the end. I won’t pull my punches. There’s going to be criticism and snark about the manga, either wholesale or in details. If that isn’t a thing you feel like reading, please skip this post!

Mercury is in the title, so I am of course immediately suspicious. She doesn’t actually show up until thirty-five pages in. I’m SUPER suspicious. But I get ahead of myself.

First we have to deal with Mamoru in the hospital, where he regrettably regains consciousness. The Senshi run in like they’re a) concerned, and b) were notified, both of which we know are patently untrue. So since Ami isn’t with them, I’m going to assume she had one jello shot too many and passed out. At which point Mako hefted her up piggyback and ran all the way to the hospital like a charging bull, drunkenly barreling down the street and mowing down all passersby while Minako kept pace in her wake despite drinking more than anyone, making ambulance siren sounds and also carrying Rei piggyback style who made it a point to scream at everyone to get out of the fucking way and turn and nearly but never quite fall and yell at anyone who had the gall to not possess her precognitive abilities and ALREADY be out of the way, which meant, not coincidentally, that she was yelling at literally fucking everybody.

Unfortunately the manga didn’t have that, it had this.

Yet another wasted opportunity, manga.

They get an eyeful of bodyswapped Usagi and Chibs, and conclude that Black Lady’s back, which I’m sure wouldn’t have traumatized Chibi-Usa in any way. Talk talk, recounting last issue, Ami enters! MERCURY DREAM!

Oh, not yet, she was just late, despite the Senshi otherwise all consistently arriving at the same time always. She says they should get Usagi and Chibs checked out, and she called her mother to look at Mamoru, too. Speaking of, Ami’s mum enters. She looks, creatively, exactly like an older Ami.

I guess hairstyles are hereditary after all. NOW YOU KNOW.

Ami’s mum finds nothing wrong with Usagi and Chibs, and I can only assume that includes the fact that Chibs is a sixteen year-old girl impossibly squeezed into a ten-year old’s clothes, SERIOUSLY WHY DON’T USAGI AND CHIBS AT LEAST EXCHANGE OUTFITS CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW UNCOMFORTABLE CHIBI-USA IS

I MEAN THE UNDERWEAR ALONE NOT TO MENTION WITH THE SKIRT SITUATION

SHE’S WEARING SUSPENDERS WITH NO BRA YOU GUYS COME ON SOMEONE PLEASE GET THIS CHILD ACTUAL FITTING CLOTHING

Anyway, Usagi and Chibs are medically fine, but Mamoru has “shadows over the lungs”, which is apparently so unusual that the doctor “has never seen anything like it”, and I’m just sitting here UHHH MAYBE GET THIS GUY AN ONCOLOGY REFERRAL RATHER THAN LET HIM WALK OUT WITH A VAGUE PROMISE TO SCHEDULE A FOLLOW-UP SOMETIME MAYBE

Of course this is probably the same hospital that let Mamoru walk out with a ten year old child for whom he has no parental or legal guardianship and despite her suffering from cardiac arrest and no blood flow, SO CLEARLY I AM EXPECTING TOO MUCH OF THE MEDICAL STAFF HERE AT FUCK YOU HOSPITAL.

Chibs decides to try and trick Ikuko, so she goes home and pitches Luna-P at her. It works! I can’t even be surprised. She goes up to Usagi’s room, and rather than, I dunno, CHANGE CLOTHES, she thinks about how Mamoru said she was pretty and ughhhghgh. The Pegabell accidentally falls and instantly summons him, and someone really needs to tell Pegasus to let the phone ring a couple times because desperaaaate.

Pegasus says he can sense this is a bad spell cast on her by “someone”, but he refuses to answer any other questions, proving that no matter the continuity, Pegasus will never be helpful and needs to fuck off.

“I won’t tell you anything at all whatsoever, not about me or the enemy you’re risking your life to fight, but trust me, okay? PS: GIVE US YOUR POWER PRECIOUS”

One thing I will say is that Chibs immediately is like “I GOTTA TELL EVERYONE PEGASUS SHOWED UP AGAIN”, so while this is super jacked up, it’s not SuperS jacked up, so I can avoid screaming about everyone neglecting Chibs while she’s being secretly groomed by a fucking magical ungulate, and yes, I WILL take my small mercies.

Meanwhile, Usagi’s hanging out with Mamoru, who is intensely weirded out by the fact that Usagi is now a child, which I have to say that I was more than a little concerned about given the Chibi-Usa stuff.

Hm, this is twice in a row the manga’s not exceeded my expectations in a negative way.

OH GOD SOMETHING HORRIBLE IS COMING ISN’T IT

Well certainly Mamoru angst is coming, and jesus fucking wept. “I’M SICK I’M DRAGGING YOU DOWN PERHAPS WE SHOULDN’T HAVE A FUTURE TOGETHER”. And while fundamentally I’m fine with this conclusion, dude, you’ve been ill like A DAY, maybe take some Nyquil and calm your shit. And while I could maybe appreciate this from a flipping of stereotypes to have Mamoru the one so uncertain and worried, given how EVERY OTHER FUCKING PAGE OF THIS MANGA is about lifting Mamoru up and making him critically important, it reads less like a reversal and more Takeuchi grasping at a reason so she personally Usagi can remind us how wonderful he is. These plagues of doubt only work if something ever happened for him to be doubtful ABOUT.

Anyway, Chibs walks in and sees them (specifically she sees ten year old Usagi kissing an unconscious Mamoru but I can’t you guys I’m so tired) and she has a thought.

A THOUGHT I KIND OF FEEL YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD BY NOW CHIBS I MUST BE HONEST WITH YOU

She thinks about how her dream is to become an amazing lady and meet her own prince, and then we cut to Pegasus and then I threw up everywhere. BUT JUST IN CASE YOU NEEDED A PARALLEL TO DRIVE THE POINT FURTHER HOME, Pegasus is thinktalking to Mamoru and apologizing for not protecting him, because they’re trading positions now you see like Usagi and Chibi-Usa with the bodyswap and blaaarg. I much preferred all this last arc, when Mamoru was like “Huh I feel like I just married Chibs and Hotaru, THAT WAS WEIRD.”

Meanwhile at Ami’s house – YES AMI ACTUALLY APPEARS OVER THIRTY PAGES LATER – she’s up late doing research on the Dead Moon Circus. She pauses for a moment to have a really nice flashback with Pluto:

Sweet, huh? ONLY IT’S NOT A FLASHBACK IT’S A BRAND NEW SCENE AND WHAT’S MORE IT’S A BRAND NEW SCENE THAT DOES NOT FIT WITH WHAT WE JUST READ LAST FUCKING ARC.

You guys know me. You know I fucking LIVE for Senshi moments. But the Outers spent THE ENTIRETY OF LAST ARC actively avoiding the Inners. THAT WAS LITERALLY A PLOT POINT. You can’t work so hard to sell them as separate teams unable or unwilling to come together until the climactic final moments of the final battle and then turn around and pretend that Ami and Pluto were hanging out every weekend trading cool links and writing Perl applets. And it can’t have happened after, because as soon as they learned they’d gotten a baby out of the deal, the Outers fucked off before the dust had even settled.

I realize I should just be happy I’m getting anything at this point, but I’m ACTIVELY IRRITATED that this is being painted as something that was there all along when you know and I know that Takeuchi hasn’t been able to scrounge up two fucks to rub together about the Senshi before this point, let alone them interacting in any capacity that didn’t have Usagi at its center. OWN YOUR TERRIBLE DECISIONS DON’T STARVE ME AND THEN ACT LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SERVING ME STEAK DINNERS FOR THE PAST SEVEN MONTHS

Not to mention how it makes exactly zero sense for Ami to be all wistfully missing Pluto.

WHEN DID YOU EVER AMI WHEN DID YOU LITERALLY EVER

Which brings us to Part Two (through fucking Ten, I’m so angry) of why this pisses me off: it attributes whatever accomplishments Ami has had to this point TO A MENTORSHIP THAT LITERALLY NEVER EXISTED UNTIL THIS MOMENT. This Act is ostensibly about Ami learning to trust and believe in herself and blah blah blah THESE ARE NOT PROBLEMS MANGA AMI HAS BEEN WRESTLING WITH. Manga Ami hasn’t been wrestling with ANY problems, because Manga Ami has all the characterization of my partially-filled Papa Murphy’s punch card. But at least she could own whatever tiny moments of achievement she managed scrap together for herself out of this dismal fucking story that barely remembers she exists. BUT NO. Now she has to be smacked back five steps just to watch her walk back to where she started and call it development.

Jesus fucking WEPT I hate the manga.

All right, let’s blast through the rest of this since it means literally nothing. Ami begins to feel ~a stirring~ or whatever, prepping for her end of episode power-up. Her mum finally comes home at 1am and laments that she’s not a very good mother, but seems to make no actual effort by the end of the story to change that, so yeah, I guess you are. Ami zones out partway through to tell us about her father, who was an artist who fucked off to paint fish or something.

Blah blah bad guys, blah blah Fish Eye and PallaPalla will go after Ami because they’re blue.

Next day, Ami goes for a walk and spontaneously buys a fish, as you do.

Oh no it’s really Fish Eye, who could possibly have foreseen this?! As Ami falls asleep, she begins to have a nightmare where her mum brings a new man home and disowns her. Then she becomes her younger self, and her dad doesn’t want her either. Then she sees Usagi, Mamoru, and Chibs (though bodyswapped as they currently are, wtf Ami) and imagines Usagi saying that when she’s with them, she doesn’t need anyone else.

Not a single bit of this I feel is unreasonable for Ami to be really worried about, I have to say, but since no part of this has come up before now and no part of it will come up again (PARTICULARLY LOOKING AT YOU, NIGHTMARE USAGI), it has all the staying power of a foot cramp I had once, inconvenient and a little painful in the moment, but over and forgotten five minutes later.

Ami realizes none of it is real and tries to break free, only to fall through a mirror and begin talking to herself, only tiny.

Tiny Ami says Bigger Ami should remember her real dreams and not give up. “Yes, there are so many people I love and who love me”, she says, LITERALLY THINKING OF ONLY SEVEN PEOPLE TWO OF WHICH ARE HER PARENTS BECAUSE REMEMBER WHEN AMI HAD TO USE NARU SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A SINGLE TERTIARY ACQUAINTANCE WE CAN PRETEND SHE CARES ABOUT

My favourite part of this though?

IT’S A SHITTY LIST AND MAMORU’S STILL NOT ON IT

Ami goes on to say that her real dream is to become a “full-fledged soldier” (okay) and protect everyone. This triggers her power-up, and also a talking doohickey.

I can’t help but notice we’ve increased our talking inanimate objects by about 500% lately, and I’m wondering if Takeuchi was on massive amounts of painkillers.

I wish I were on massive amounts of painkillers.

“Mercury Aqua Rhapsody”, Ami breaks the mirror, and frees her mum from the nightmare. But she apparently still can’t actually do anything of real combat importance, SURE AM GLAD YOU’RE A FULL-FLEDGED SOLDIER NOW AMI. It takes Chibs and Usagi running in (Ami called Usagi earlier) and transforming – triggering the end of their bodyswap – to attack and kill Fish Eye.

Because Usagi and Chibi-Usa are here, the story is instantly handed back to them. Usagi’s awesome awesomeness is just so bloody awesome that Chibs is like “Oh man, I must not be this Princess who can help Pegasus, it’s probably Usagi.” So she calls and tells him he’s got it wrong, to which he’s “Oh? Weird, but okay. So heyyyyy, other Princess, s’up?” Which upsets Chibs and she runs off.

KEEP RUNNING CHIBI-USA

KEEP RUNNING AND NEVER LOOK BACK

[tialovestelevision]

Who Are You?

So, “This Year’s Girl” was great, and now we get a Freaky Friday story about Buffy and Faith. With Buffy in Faith’s body being caught by the police already, and pursued by the Council. I’m looking forward to seeing Sarah Michelle Gellar’s interpretation of Faith and Eliza Dushku’s of Buffy. It’s something new, and should be wonderful. 1. Faith is holding Joyce’s hand while Buffy is put into the ambulance. Police and paramedics are taking Buffy away, and Faith is going back into the house with Joyce. This WAS a lovely present from the Mayor - revenge and a shot at life, all in one go. 2. “Guest starring Kristine Sutherland.” “And Eliza Dushku as Buffy.” I like that. 3. Faith just made a rape joke. About… herself? Her body, anyway, even if Buffy is in it. Joyce is scandalized. 4. Faith is not used to hugs. And is very uncomfortable with heartfelt conversations. And wants a bath. So she’s having one. Getting used to Buffy’s body, I think. She looks… happy. Now she’s looking at herself in the mirror and making faces. “Why yes. I would be Buffy. May I help you? Buff-y. You can’t do that. It’s wrong! You can’t do that because it’s naughty. Because it’s wrong.” Her practicing her Buffy here is kind of wonderful. And terrifying. She’s a very broken person. 5. Buffy is in the hospital. They’re trying to hold her down and sedate her. “I have to go home. She’s with my mother!” And they’ve sedated her. 6. Willow and Tara are in Tara’s room, talking about Faith. Tara is hurt that Willow’s friends don’t know about her. “And I really want you o meet them. But I just… kinda like having something that’s just, you know, mine. Do you get that at all?” “Ido.” “I should check in with Giles. Get a situation update.” “I am, you know.” “What?” “Yours.” God, their smiles there. 7. Faith is getting dressed for a night out. Or to leave the country. She found Buffy’s passport. She’s taking money. Faith is going to go see Buffy’s friends at Giles’s house. She wants to take the lipstick she picked out before the fight, but when Joyce pointed it out she says to burn it. 8. Buffy’s in a cop car, and coming to. The cops are surprised. But the car is being ambushed by the Council team, which has loaded her into an armored car. 9. Faith is at Giles’s place. She doesn’t know Anya. “Well, she did all those crimes and now she’s being arrested. I guess that’s just regular justice.” 10. The Council team is a special operations team. They do wet works. Faith can’t stop laughing about Buffy being taken to England by the Council team. She’s also offended by Willow’s dislike for her. To the point of fantasizing about stabbing her in the gut repeatedly. 11. Anya is surprised that “Buffy” is fine with everything. Willow noticed something amiss. But Faith reassured her. Giles just brought up Adam, who Faith knows nothing about. Faith says she’s going to patrol, but she’s out dancing instead at the Bronze. Bouncing from guy to guy. She ran into Spike, who is offended. Now she’s insulting him in a very un-Buffy-like way. “You know why I really hate you, Summers?” “Because I’m a stuck up tight-ass with no sense of fun?” “Well… yeah, that covers a lot of it.” Wow, okay Sarah Michelle Gellar KNOWS Faith. And Faith just beat Spike more thoroughly than Buffy ever did. 12. Ah. There’s Adam. And the joy in the episode just all rushed out. He’s been thinking about vampires, and now he’s talking to vampires, in his terrible long-winded way that bores me to tears. He did rip a head off. That’s kinda cool. He wants to talk to the vampires about plans. 13. Buffy is talking to the Council people. Where Sarah Michelle Gellar has Faith’s attitude down, Eliza Dushku has Buffy’s VOICE. If I weren’t looking at the TV, I’d be wondering how Gellar was doing such a good impersonation of Dushku’s accent… it sounds like Buffy’s voice coming out of Faith’s vocal cords, and it’s uncanny. 14. The Council people deliver the package, and don’t care what’s inside. That… sort of backs up the Council being really bad at things. The other Council guy spat in Buffy’s face. 15. Willow and Tara just walked into the Bronze. Faith is encouraging a guy to chug beer, and Willow just introduced Tara to her. Faith is delighted with meeting someone new, but is also walking away. Tara is staring after Willow as she leaves. Faith is looking at Tara. She sees what’s going on, but is of course expressing it in a way that hurts. A lot. A whole lot. Wow, Faith is being awful. Willow spotted a vampire, and Faith isn’t on it as fast as Buffy would be. Tara’s about to start sobbing. Faith slayed the vampire.The girl the vampire was eating is thanking Faith, and Faith isn’t sure what to do with that emotionally. Willow’s walking Tara home. Willow just gave Faith the idea of visiting Riley. 16. The Council guys are going to try to sedate Buffy, but she caught the guy doing so. Threatened his life, but the other guys didn’t care. They do have discipline, I’ll give them that. They’re going with the contingency plan. Faith is visiting Riley. 17. Willow and Tara are at Tara’s room. Tara’s on the edge of tears. And… huh. Tara knows it’s not Buffy. From the way Willow has talked about her, I think. And the cruelty Faith showed. Also from magic. Buffy’s energy was fragmented. Willow is worried about hyenas. Willow is wearing a ring from Buffy. Tara is looking up a spell, and Willow and Tara are going to cast a spell. It’s astral projection, and Willow will need Tara’s protection. Willow trusts Tara. 18. Now Faith is dancing on Riley’s lap and kissing him, but Riley’s going to close the door. Faith saw that he’s hurt and wants to take him for a test drive. Faith is not good at playing Buffy in the bedroom, but Riley is sufficiently clueless to think she’s doing some sort of roleplay and to go to bed with her regardless. 19. Willow and Tara did their spell. It’s certainly having an effect. Willow fell down, and… I think had an orgasm? 20. Riley and Faith had sex. Riley: “I love you.” Faith is forcing Riley off her and freaking out. Very freaking out. “Who are you? What do you want from her?” Faith can’t handle actual tenderness at all. Ye gods, that girl is broken. Nothing is wrong and that’s the scariest thing in the world. 21. And Adam again. Blah blah blah. Extinguish life. Blah blah blah. You are my first. Blah blah blah. Now he’s making me miss the Master. And I think going to send the vampires into the sun. 22. Faith is leaving Riley’s room wearing one of his shirts. Forrest is talking to her. She says she doesn’t care what Forrest thinks, but she does, and he hurt her. 23. The Council people are getting ready to kill Buffy, but she got their gun and broke out of the chains. She’s trying to steal the car. Got it. She’s a terrible driver and has a heavy vehicle. The Council is bad at things. 24. Faith is at the airport, getting ready to leave the country. 25. Note to self to talk about magic penises in my episode summary. 26. Buffy got to Giles’s house safely. Giles is terrified. “I know what you’re going to say, and I…” “I’m Buffy.” “All right, I didn’t know what you were going to say.” Giles is funny. But he should have known. Willow and Tara are there and know about Buffy and Faith’s body switch. Tara and Willow made a replacement for Faith’s body switching device. Adam’s vampires have taken over a church and taken hostages. Buffy and Faith are both watching a report about it. Adam has actually been useful to the episode plot now! 27. The vampires are there to mock God. Riley and the Initiative are there now, and have taken over from the police. Faith also just arrived. “Don’t tell me what to do. I’m Buffy. I have to do this.” 28. Faith just went in. And is delivering one-liners. “You’re not going to kill these people.” “Why not?” “Because it’s wrong.” Buffy and Giles are on their way with the armored car. Giles is distracting the police while Buffy goes in. The vampires just started a fight with Faith inside. She staked one. The vampires found their fear again. One tackled Riley and is fighting him outside, but he threw it into the sunlight. Buffy saw him. Buffy staked a vampire that was beating Faith up, and now they’re fighting again. Buffy managed to hit the katra thingy and swap their bodies back, and now Faith is terrified and running like mad and Buffy is a little shattered. 29. Back at Riley’s room. Faith has escaped, and the Council guys have left town. Buffy knows Riley slept with Faith now, and is very hurt. Riley and Giles both missed it and Tara caught it and Buffy seems very aware of that. 30. Faith is in a truck bed, surrounded by wood, with a box, riding away to somewhere. Anywhere. Overall: I think I’m going to praise the episode, then complain about it, then praise it some more. It was good. No, you don’t get it. I mean it was REALLY GOOD. Not only did it have Tara and Willow being absolutely lovely, not only did it establish Tara’s competence and empathy and the glory that is her, not only… a dozen different not onlies. It was GOOD. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Eliza Dushku were amazing here, playing each other’s characters, though I feel a bit bad for Dushku missing out on a major point in her character’s development because she was busy being Buffy. The acting work was breathtaking, the writing a wonder. Two weaknesses: First, Adam was involved, and his presence in a scene just stopped the episode’s dramatic momentum dead. He’s just… boring. Constantly, incessantly boring. Long-winded speeches in this weird monotone that’s supposed to be both emotional and intimidating and fails at both those things. God, I hate him, and not with proper villain heat. No, he has X-Pac heat - I don’t want to see him get his ass kicked; I just don’t want to see him. Second, the magic penis. Sex with Buffy’s nice and proper and good Iowa heartland apple pie and mom pork-and-beans salute the flag yippee-ki-yay! boyfriend is what “saves” Faith here - what turns her toward helping people. Yes, there’s the scene before with the girl she saves, but that is badly undersold compared with Riley’s Magic Dong. It’s offensive and doesn’t stand scrutiny and even if proper guy-sex did save women Riley’s like a walking scoop of plain yogurt. Gods, I’m bored just writing about him. Those are HUGE problems for the episode to have, but it gets through them and comes out as one of the franchise’s best anyway on the strength of everything it has going for it. Kudos to Amber Benson and Sarah Michelle Gellar for their scene, by the way… Gellar channeled her character from Cruel Intentions there without PLAYING her character from Cruel Intentions, while Benson just… was hurt and beautiful and tough and brilliant. Good God, if television was this good more often...